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The Forgotten Nurses: Finding Peace and Purpose in the Stressful World of Veterinary Medicine
The veterinary profession can be exciting, challenging, and gratifying. However, there is a unique set of stressors within the industry that makes the suicide rate 3.5 times higher than that of the general population. During the pandemic, the influx of millions of new pets has only added to the stress and burnout. By bringing to light the shadow side of veterinary medicine through personal stories from her decades as a licensed veterinary technician, the author navigates healthy ways to cope with bullying and burnout in any profession. Through self-discovery and many resources, you can become a beacon of hope for others as you reignite your passion for your career.
121 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 5, 2021
36 people are currently reading
259 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
August 16, 2022
I have been a vet tech for 36 years. This book read like my story as well. I didn't realize how widespread the bullying was. I thought it was just me. I have lived through so many bouts of burnout and depression. I left many times but always came back because I felt this was my calling and yet I was constantly being abused by bosses, managers and coworkers. Veterinary medicine has the highest suicide rate and one of the reasons is the way we treat each other. We show so much compassion for our patients and clients but treat each other so badly. Instead of supporting each other and lifting each other up, we put each other down or alienate each other. If everyone read this book and it opened up a dialog among everyone in the clinic so much would change for the better. I wish this book would have been around when I started. I might not have felt so alone. I think it should be required reading for anyone who wants to go into this field to prepare them for how to handle the emotional roller coaster and take care of oneself while riding it.
February 23, 2024
This book is perfect for all my fellow veterinary nurses. I feel like every one of you needs to read this book and then read it again to do all the workbook prompts and look into the reading materials that helped her discover herself and how she could move forward in this field when it felt impossible. I already have five of the reading materials in my Amazon cart to buy and read. Please please please read this book.
June 9, 2023
Made my feelings about vet med feel validated. Good quick read for even those not in vet med to shine light on the hardships within the field
May 31, 2023
This helped bring clarity to such a hard industry with how hard it can be to work in hard places and dealing with rude clients
June 29, 2023
Reading the beginning I had some hope I would find some useful information in here. As I went on that hope dwindled. I likes the stories about work related stress in the veterinary field, because I feel that to. But it lost me when it started divulging into eastern (aka holistic) medicine. I have a very scientific mind, so the whole holistic things was never my thing. But this is just my opinion, others may think differently. I also didn’t really find anything g in this book that I didn’t already know. All the techniques she mentioned I’ve already tried or have implemented in my life already. I will pass the book on to a coworker who I think could get something from this book though.
February 9, 2023
A good book that sheds light on some of the things we face on a daily basis in the field. However the first half seemed really repetitive about all the terrible things the author went through. Halfway through it finally started talking about the “finding peace and purpose” part. I didn’t get as much out of it as I was hoping for, but still a book I would probably recommend to other vet assistants and techs.
April 26, 2022
This books will bring to light the issues we face in our field. It will also challenge you to be a better version of yourself, set healthy boundaries and push to find your center, your drive, your why. There are great questions for you at the end of each chapter with follow up resources if you want to learn more. Well though out book that will leave you thinking long after you finish it
November 9, 2023
This book was absolutely a looking glass into the veterinary field. I have luckily been blessed enough to work at a clinic were my coworkers don’t drain me, but sometimes these cases or some of these clients do. If you’re a vet tech, hell if you’re any part of the veterinary staff, you should definitely pick this one up!
July 3, 2022
Lots of good food for thought and also very relatable; lost me about 2/3 of the way through.
Page 11 · Location 134
“Veterinarians and technicians can battle what’s called impostor syndrome, a condition in which we silently question whether we know what we’re doing and if we are doing our best with every case. We can feel like frauds, even after all our years of education. We may get out of school having learned all the latest and greatest techniques and equipment, only to find that our new boss is still practicing in the dark ages.”
Page 13 · Location 157
“In addition to all of this external stress is something I have a lot of personal experience with: internal workplace bullying and gaslighting (where your perception and judgment are questioned and invalidated, causing fear, anxiety, self-doubt, and inner turmoil).”
Page 13 · Location 166
“A friend of mine described her relationship with veterinary medicine as “abusive—it beats the crap out of you physically and emotionally, but you can’t stop coming back to it.”
Page 20 · Location 269
“…doesn’t help matters that we are often not given the respect we deserve by our own bosses and managers, which then trickles down to the rest of the staff.”
Page 20 · Location 274
“Many vet techs aren’t allowed to utilize their full skill set, which can lead to disenchantment with the profession and decreased morale. Instead of utilizing our professional skills and being treated as the veterinarian’s right hand in managing cases, we are more often than not treated like servants.”
Page 20 · Location 277
“Their average salary is close to the poverty level in many states, despite a recent AVMA study demonstrating that each licensed technician brings in about a $ 90,000 annual increase in revenue.”
Page 21 · Location 290
“No matter which branch of vet medicine you practice in, you most likely feel overworked, underpaid, and barely appreciated. You may start looking for a way out of your job in particular, the profession in general, or even your life overall.”
Page 21 · Location 293
“I get to go to work today” instead of “I have to go to work today.” This shows gratitude for the privilege of having a job, because not everyone is so lucky to be doing what we dreamed of as children.”
Page 22 · Location 302
“But I have also been bullied more at work by adults than I ever was as a child at school. I have endured some very difficult bosses and managers—a few have been downright abusive. I have felt great anxiety and depression. I’ve been exhausted by the effort to be someone other than my true self. I have noticed a significant increase in the last few years of people who no longer respect other humans or animals.”
Page 22 · Location 309
“We all need to remember WHY we became animal caregivers in the first place. We need to find a way to reignite our passion and then share that light with our colleagues and patients.”
Page 23 · Location 312
“I want you to go from surviving in this industry to thriving.”
Page 27 · Location 373
“It is important to note that I was unconsciously allowing my outer experiences to dictate my feelings of self-worth. Better late than never, I learned that it is your choices about your inner experiences that make you joyful and allow you to shine through to the outside world. “Your personality creates your personal reality” (Dr. Joe Dispenza).”
Page 29 · Location 416
“I didn’t know at the time that manipulators look for people with empathy to exploit in order to feed their egos, and that it had nothing to do with who I was, other than the fact that I had empathy in spades.”
Page 29 · Location 417
“One boyfriend used to introduce me to his friends as a veterinarian, and when I corrected him he would get mad, like my being a veterinary technician was embarrassing. I had another friend do the same, and when I told him I was proud of my chosen career he said, “Don’t sell yourself short.” Over the years I’ve been asked by many clients when I was going to school to become a doctor, as if being an animal nurse wasn’t a profession in its own right. I believe this is partly due to a failure within our industry to adequately educate the public on the scope of our education, knowledge, and skill.”
Page 30 · Location 433
“Those who find a ‘why’ to live, can bear almost any ‘how’.” (Viktor Frankl)
Page 32 · Location 449
“I’m not who I think I am. I’m not who you think I am. I’m who I think you think I am.”
Page 34 · Location 490
“Once I finally understood I had this condition called anxiety, I still felt that something was missing. I was constantly told I was “too sensitive” and “took everything personally.” Yes, that is all true, but people were saying it as if it was wrong for me to have those feelings.”
Page 35 · Location 493
“Every time I spoke my truth, I was shut down and brushed off. People always wanted me to change, yet if I mentioned someone else’s comments or actions, I was typically told, “That’s just the way they are.” It reminds me of a time that I was pulled over for speeding. I mentioned to the cop that I was just trying to keep up with traffic and that many others were passing me and he said “Yeah, well, I pulled you over.” Even now, others’ verbal abuse is almost always excused or justified, as if my own feelings have no merit. I really don’t care if Nancy is having a bad day because her child is sick; that does not give her the right to launch a verbal attack on anyone else. While you can’t change other people, only your reactions to them, this doesn’t mean you should accept abuse in any form. I wish these people would practice the Five-Minute Rule: set a timer for five minutes and go somewhere to rant, rave, cry, complain, etc.”
Page 35 · Location 505
“At long last, the missing puzzle piece I was seeking showed up in the form of a book called The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. I FINALLY felt understood, by myself if no one else. I was in my late 40s at this point—better late than never! Being highly sensitive is a genetic trait, not a personality flaw—something I had intuitively felt all along. Highly sensitive people (HSPs) process stimuli more thoroughly than the general population and pick up on subtleties in the environment that others never notice. This is termed clairsentience, or clear feeling. This can be a detriment, as it feels as if everything around you, both positive and negative, melds with your energy field. Large crowds drain us, strong scents agitate us, loud or repetitive noises drive us insane because of our overly sensitive nervous systems (try concentrating at work with continuously barking dogs and multiple conversations going on). HSPs are conditioned to doubt themselves from an early age, which can lead to impostor syndrome, anxiety, and depression. We become sponges for the emotions of others and are often targeted by narcissistic, toxic people who need a parasitic relationship to feed their ego and desire for control (where they suck the life out of you and leave you desiccated). Boy do I know about that!”
Page 36 · Location 523
“I have to remind myself that bullies and narcissists themselves aren’t confident people. Obnoxious behavior is their way of blustering to cover up their deep insecurities. It’s those of us who are aware of and stand tall in our truth, whatever that may be, that are the strong ones.”
Page 37 · Location 537
“2. Do you suffer from feelings of worthlessness? If so, how do you deal with them?”
Page 39 · Location 558
“I once heard a saying that the cracks in your personal foundation are there to let the light in. I believe these cracks start in your mind—the chipping away at your self-esteem by toxic individuals. No one is born thinking they aren’t good enough. That happens slowly, over time. As children we are encouraged to walk and talk—we’re cheered on for doing so. As we get older, we’re told to sit down and shut up. We’re told our ideas are stupid, and our opinions don’t matter. We are invalidated at every turn, or at least it can feel that way at times. The criticism and conflict can have devastating effects on our psyches. Constantly feeling unworthy can lead to depression and suicidal ideations. Once other people’s negativity stops, we tend to continue it, which perpetuates the problem.”
Page 39 · Location 570
“The cracks often start out as insidious hairline fractures—offhand comments by someone who matters to you that make you begin to doubt yourself.”
Page 43 · Location 616
“I have asked for a raise after thirteen years without one, only to be told I didn’t deserve one, because the manager looked up the average salary for licensed vet technicians, and I already exceeded that amount.”
Page 43 · Location 621
“Nothing thus far had compared to the abuse I was to experience at what I will call Toxic Swamp Vet Clinic (TSVC), a place that was beautiful on the outside but hid a suppressive culture, led by the manager and enforced by the owner. This was where I finally hit rock bottom. I no longer had the will to keep going. I couldn’t understand why I was constantly singled out and treated like I was worthless. Why couldn’t my boss and manager appreciate that I was smart, kind, hardworking, and reliable? I knew my worth but felt that others didn’t, which resulted in constant fear for my financial security.”
Page 43 · Location 630
“I wanted out. Yet at the same time, I felt stuck. The vet industry was all I knew, and I wasn’t getting any younger. I saw no solution, and I felt an overwhelming sense of despair and depression.”
Page 44 · Location 632
“While I could maybe explain my decision to my family and friends, so they would have some sort of closure, I couldn’t explain to my animals why I would leave them behind. Looking into their soulful eyes full of unconditional love was enough reason to keep going. We depended on each other.”
Page 44 · Location 635
“One particular day, my Toxic Swamp boss sought me out after lunch. He looked me in the eyes and said, “Last Wednesday when we worked together, I thought the day went very smoothly. You did a really good job, and we worked well together.” I felt such a rush of gratitude at finally being noticed and validated, until he lightly smacked my arm and said with amusement, “Tracy, I wasn’t even here that day! Remember, it was my golf tournament!” He chuckled and walked away, leaving me standing there, frozen in shock and disbelief. Who says that? I could feel the tears welling up and threatening to overspill my eyelids. I will never forget that humiliating moment as long as I live.”
Page 44 · Location 645
“One bad apple with too much power can indeed ruin the entire basket.”
Page 45 · Location 655
“The saying is true that employees typically leave managers, not practices.”
Page 46 · Location 663
“I became incapable of drawing blood or placing catheters—it’s amazing how inept you can become with someone constantly judging you and telling you how awful you are.”
Page 47 · Location 680
“I knew that many others had problems far worse than mine, but that shouldn’t devalue my own pain. I could barely breathe. I couldn’t form words. I was devastated, and yet again, invalidated. I wanted someone to listen to me, not berate me.”
Page 49 · Location 713
“2. Whose toxic rhetoric do you keep repeating in your head, long after they’ve left?
3. Do you have an escape plan to leave your current situation if it isn’t nourishing your soul?”
Page 51 · Location 746
“A gaslighter erodes and invalidates your reality until you rely on them for the perceived truth they feed you. They make you feel like you blow everything out of proportion and take things too personally, despite all evidence to the contrary. This insidious form of manipulation can be very disorienting as you try to separate reality from deceit.”
Page 51 · Location 748
“Gaslighting can be part of a narcissistic personality disorder, which is characterized by a sense of entitlement, feelings of superiority, and a great need for admiration. Such people have feelings of grandiosity and often behave childishly if they don’t get their way, even throwing tantrums.”
Page 53 · Location 780
“While a narcissist’s behavioral traits are usually hardwired from childhood due to being spoiled and entitled, there are also your garden-variety toxic people, who usually don’t realize the impact they are having on those around them. They may ask how your day was, then interrupt you mid-sentence to talk about themselves or turn to talk to someone else. Do you have coworkers like this? They may overstep boundaries, invade your personal space, exhibit attention-seeking behavior, and suck you dry emotionally. However, if you point this out to them, they may be willing to improve their behavior. I call this the difference between your Average Joe and Cottonmouth Joe.”
Page 54 · Location 791
“However, commiserating with your teammates keeps all of you stuck in the mire of a negativity loop. After two years, many jumped ship or were forced to walk the plank, like I was. There were thirty-three of us who had quit or were fired by the time I was handed my box of belongings and escorted to my car by Laura, the head vet assistant, of all people. My boss called the mass exodus “God weeding the garden.”
Page 55 · Location 797
“I’m convinced that Golden Retrievers have a manual they all read at birth about how to carry a leash in their mouths, and pugs have one with instructions on how to make nail trims as difficult as possible (“ If all else fails, turn blue”). I’m also convinced there’s a secret manager’s manual titled Team Building 101: How to Tear People to Shreds and Expect Them to Do Better, by Managers without a Clue.”
Page 55 · Location 808
“Training new staff is expensive and time-consuming. It’s so much more efficient to value and train the staff you already have. Take the time to give and receive feedback on a regular basis before the train derails. It’s usually the quiet, unassuming staff members who know what’s truly going on behind the scenes. If you’ve ever seen footage of a wild horse herd, the lead mare isn’t necessarily the strongest or most outgoing, but the most aware. She is the one who will ultimately warn the herd of danger. Leadership is an ongoing practice of awareness, not just a title.”
Page 59 · Location 862
“I don’t understand why so many managers seem to be threatened by licensed technicians. We don’t want their job, we just want to be able to do ours in a supportive and harmonious environment. We want an advocate who has our backs and understands the stresses of the job without piling on more. Trust me, if we wanted to manage people all day, we wouldn’t have gone into the animal business.”
Page 60 · Location 874
“We know that we can’t save them all, and we can’t die trying. We’re both living proof that it is possible to move on and find peace and purpose in the stressful world of veterinary medicine.”
Page 60 · Location 881
“The Golden Rule (treat others how you wish to be treated) has now been replaced by the Platinum Rule (treat others how they wish to be treated).”
Page 61 · Location 896
“1. Who controls the culture at your workplace? Are they open to hearing ways of doing things differently?”
Page 61 · Location 898
“3. Have you ever been treated with total disrespect by someone in authority? How did it make you feel? How could you have handled it differently?”
Page 63 · Location 915
“Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Joy follows a pure thought like a shadow that never leaves.”—Buddha
Page 69 · Location 1019
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” (Viktor Frankl).
Page 70 · Location 1047
“Remind yourself that you are living “the good ol’ days” right now, and don’t let the past or future hijack your experience.”
Page 75 · Location 1112
“A good exercise if you’re feeling anxious is to focus on five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste in your environment (those last two may be dicey in a veterinary clinic). This will bring your mind to the present, so it has something to anchor to other than its usual hamster wheel worry loop.”
Page 82 · Location 1223
“What is to give light must endure burning.” (Viktor Frankl)
Page 85 · Location 1268
“I hate to break the news, but the person complaining is usually just a scapegoat for a far greater culture issue. They’re like the canary in the coal mine, and getting rid of every canary won’t fix what’s making them sick. Get rid of the loudest canary before it dies on your watch, and there’s soon another to take its place, because it’s the toxic air that’s killing them, not the loudness of their voice desperately seeking help. We need leaders who hear us and take action on our behalf.”
Page 85 · Location 1272
“Some of you may no longer enjoy your day off because you know you’ll have anxiety and worrisome thoughts about going back to work and the uncertainty of what you might face.”
Page 95 · Location 1429
“There is a gap, a small, sacred space of stillness, between your thoughts and your emotions. How you feel about things will then determine how you act. That small space gives you time to choose your behavior by consciously controlling what you’re thinking. You don’t have to react to every perceived slight—you don’t have to attend every party you’re invited to. No matter the subject, there are always those who try to remind you of how they are right and you are wrong. Remember what we learned about narcissists? These people are always looking for a reaction from you to engage their ego drama, and if you stop feeding into it, they will eventually go find other prey. You won’t be fun to harass anymore. Which is fine, because you have better things to do with your time, like concentrating on creating your best possible life—living the highest version of your dreams.”
Page 97 · Location 1460
“No matter how dire the situation, suffering comes from wanting things to be different than they are. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”
Page 98 · Location 1473
“Don’t let yourself get so entangled in the story inside your head that it consumes you, and you become one of the unconscious ones. Focus on the facts. Be in the now, which is all there is.”
Page 11 · Location 134
“Veterinarians and technicians can battle what’s called impostor syndrome, a condition in which we silently question whether we know what we’re doing and if we are doing our best with every case. We can feel like frauds, even after all our years of education. We may get out of school having learned all the latest and greatest techniques and equipment, only to find that our new boss is still practicing in the dark ages.”
Page 13 · Location 157
“In addition to all of this external stress is something I have a lot of personal experience with: internal workplace bullying and gaslighting (where your perception and judgment are questioned and invalidated, causing fear, anxiety, self-doubt, and inner turmoil).”
Page 13 · Location 166
“A friend of mine described her relationship with veterinary medicine as “abusive—it beats the crap out of you physically and emotionally, but you can’t stop coming back to it.”
Page 20 · Location 269
“…doesn’t help matters that we are often not given the respect we deserve by our own bosses and managers, which then trickles down to the rest of the staff.”
Page 20 · Location 274
“Many vet techs aren’t allowed to utilize their full skill set, which can lead to disenchantment with the profession and decreased morale. Instead of utilizing our professional skills and being treated as the veterinarian’s right hand in managing cases, we are more often than not treated like servants.”
Page 20 · Location 277
“Their average salary is close to the poverty level in many states, despite a recent AVMA study demonstrating that each licensed technician brings in about a $ 90,000 annual increase in revenue.”
Page 21 · Location 290
“No matter which branch of vet medicine you practice in, you most likely feel overworked, underpaid, and barely appreciated. You may start looking for a way out of your job in particular, the profession in general, or even your life overall.”
Page 21 · Location 293
“I get to go to work today” instead of “I have to go to work today.” This shows gratitude for the privilege of having a job, because not everyone is so lucky to be doing what we dreamed of as children.”
Page 22 · Location 302
“But I have also been bullied more at work by adults than I ever was as a child at school. I have endured some very difficult bosses and managers—a few have been downright abusive. I have felt great anxiety and depression. I’ve been exhausted by the effort to be someone other than my true self. I have noticed a significant increase in the last few years of people who no longer respect other humans or animals.”
Page 22 · Location 309
“We all need to remember WHY we became animal caregivers in the first place. We need to find a way to reignite our passion and then share that light with our colleagues and patients.”
Page 23 · Location 312
“I want you to go from surviving in this industry to thriving.”
Page 27 · Location 373
“It is important to note that I was unconsciously allowing my outer experiences to dictate my feelings of self-worth. Better late than never, I learned that it is your choices about your inner experiences that make you joyful and allow you to shine through to the outside world. “Your personality creates your personal reality” (Dr. Joe Dispenza).”
Page 29 · Location 416
“I didn’t know at the time that manipulators look for people with empathy to exploit in order to feed their egos, and that it had nothing to do with who I was, other than the fact that I had empathy in spades.”
Page 29 · Location 417
“One boyfriend used to introduce me to his friends as a veterinarian, and when I corrected him he would get mad, like my being a veterinary technician was embarrassing. I had another friend do the same, and when I told him I was proud of my chosen career he said, “Don’t sell yourself short.” Over the years I’ve been asked by many clients when I was going to school to become a doctor, as if being an animal nurse wasn’t a profession in its own right. I believe this is partly due to a failure within our industry to adequately educate the public on the scope of our education, knowledge, and skill.”
Page 30 · Location 433
“Those who find a ‘why’ to live, can bear almost any ‘how’.” (Viktor Frankl)
Page 32 · Location 449
“I’m not who I think I am. I’m not who you think I am. I’m who I think you think I am.”
Page 34 · Location 490
“Once I finally understood I had this condition called anxiety, I still felt that something was missing. I was constantly told I was “too sensitive” and “took everything personally.” Yes, that is all true, but people were saying it as if it was wrong for me to have those feelings.”
Page 35 · Location 493
“Every time I spoke my truth, I was shut down and brushed off. People always wanted me to change, yet if I mentioned someone else’s comments or actions, I was typically told, “That’s just the way they are.” It reminds me of a time that I was pulled over for speeding. I mentioned to the cop that I was just trying to keep up with traffic and that many others were passing me and he said “Yeah, well, I pulled you over.” Even now, others’ verbal abuse is almost always excused or justified, as if my own feelings have no merit. I really don’t care if Nancy is having a bad day because her child is sick; that does not give her the right to launch a verbal attack on anyone else. While you can’t change other people, only your reactions to them, this doesn’t mean you should accept abuse in any form. I wish these people would practice the Five-Minute Rule: set a timer for five minutes and go somewhere to rant, rave, cry, complain, etc.”
Page 35 · Location 505
“At long last, the missing puzzle piece I was seeking showed up in the form of a book called The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. I FINALLY felt understood, by myself if no one else. I was in my late 40s at this point—better late than never! Being highly sensitive is a genetic trait, not a personality flaw—something I had intuitively felt all along. Highly sensitive people (HSPs) process stimuli more thoroughly than the general population and pick up on subtleties in the environment that others never notice. This is termed clairsentience, or clear feeling. This can be a detriment, as it feels as if everything around you, both positive and negative, melds with your energy field. Large crowds drain us, strong scents agitate us, loud or repetitive noises drive us insane because of our overly sensitive nervous systems (try concentrating at work with continuously barking dogs and multiple conversations going on). HSPs are conditioned to doubt themselves from an early age, which can lead to impostor syndrome, anxiety, and depression. We become sponges for the emotions of others and are often targeted by narcissistic, toxic people who need a parasitic relationship to feed their ego and desire for control (where they suck the life out of you and leave you desiccated). Boy do I know about that!”
Page 36 · Location 523
“I have to remind myself that bullies and narcissists themselves aren’t confident people. Obnoxious behavior is their way of blustering to cover up their deep insecurities. It’s those of us who are aware of and stand tall in our truth, whatever that may be, that are the strong ones.”
Page 37 · Location 537
“2. Do you suffer from feelings of worthlessness? If so, how do you deal with them?”
Page 39 · Location 558
“I once heard a saying that the cracks in your personal foundation are there to let the light in. I believe these cracks start in your mind—the chipping away at your self-esteem by toxic individuals. No one is born thinking they aren’t good enough. That happens slowly, over time. As children we are encouraged to walk and talk—we’re cheered on for doing so. As we get older, we’re told to sit down and shut up. We’re told our ideas are stupid, and our opinions don’t matter. We are invalidated at every turn, or at least it can feel that way at times. The criticism and conflict can have devastating effects on our psyches. Constantly feeling unworthy can lead to depression and suicidal ideations. Once other people’s negativity stops, we tend to continue it, which perpetuates the problem.”
Page 39 · Location 570
“The cracks often start out as insidious hairline fractures—offhand comments by someone who matters to you that make you begin to doubt yourself.”
Page 43 · Location 616
“I have asked for a raise after thirteen years without one, only to be told I didn’t deserve one, because the manager looked up the average salary for licensed vet technicians, and I already exceeded that amount.”
Page 43 · Location 621
“Nothing thus far had compared to the abuse I was to experience at what I will call Toxic Swamp Vet Clinic (TSVC), a place that was beautiful on the outside but hid a suppressive culture, led by the manager and enforced by the owner. This was where I finally hit rock bottom. I no longer had the will to keep going. I couldn’t understand why I was constantly singled out and treated like I was worthless. Why couldn’t my boss and manager appreciate that I was smart, kind, hardworking, and reliable? I knew my worth but felt that others didn’t, which resulted in constant fear for my financial security.”
Page 43 · Location 630
“I wanted out. Yet at the same time, I felt stuck. The vet industry was all I knew, and I wasn’t getting any younger. I saw no solution, and I felt an overwhelming sense of despair and depression.”
Page 44 · Location 632
“While I could maybe explain my decision to my family and friends, so they would have some sort of closure, I couldn’t explain to my animals why I would leave them behind. Looking into their soulful eyes full of unconditional love was enough reason to keep going. We depended on each other.”
Page 44 · Location 635
“One particular day, my Toxic Swamp boss sought me out after lunch. He looked me in the eyes and said, “Last Wednesday when we worked together, I thought the day went very smoothly. You did a really good job, and we worked well together.” I felt such a rush of gratitude at finally being noticed and validated, until he lightly smacked my arm and said with amusement, “Tracy, I wasn’t even here that day! Remember, it was my golf tournament!” He chuckled and walked away, leaving me standing there, frozen in shock and disbelief. Who says that? I could feel the tears welling up and threatening to overspill my eyelids. I will never forget that humiliating moment as long as I live.”
Page 44 · Location 645
“One bad apple with too much power can indeed ruin the entire basket.”
Page 45 · Location 655
“The saying is true that employees typically leave managers, not practices.”
Page 46 · Location 663
“I became incapable of drawing blood or placing catheters—it’s amazing how inept you can become with someone constantly judging you and telling you how awful you are.”
Page 47 · Location 680
“I knew that many others had problems far worse than mine, but that shouldn’t devalue my own pain. I could barely breathe. I couldn’t form words. I was devastated, and yet again, invalidated. I wanted someone to listen to me, not berate me.”
Page 49 · Location 713
“2. Whose toxic rhetoric do you keep repeating in your head, long after they’ve left?
3. Do you have an escape plan to leave your current situation if it isn’t nourishing your soul?”
Page 51 · Location 746
“A gaslighter erodes and invalidates your reality until you rely on them for the perceived truth they feed you. They make you feel like you blow everything out of proportion and take things too personally, despite all evidence to the contrary. This insidious form of manipulation can be very disorienting as you try to separate reality from deceit.”
Page 51 · Location 748
“Gaslighting can be part of a narcissistic personality disorder, which is characterized by a sense of entitlement, feelings of superiority, and a great need for admiration. Such people have feelings of grandiosity and often behave childishly if they don’t get their way, even throwing tantrums.”
Page 53 · Location 780
“While a narcissist’s behavioral traits are usually hardwired from childhood due to being spoiled and entitled, there are also your garden-variety toxic people, who usually don’t realize the impact they are having on those around them. They may ask how your day was, then interrupt you mid-sentence to talk about themselves or turn to talk to someone else. Do you have coworkers like this? They may overstep boundaries, invade your personal space, exhibit attention-seeking behavior, and suck you dry emotionally. However, if you point this out to them, they may be willing to improve their behavior. I call this the difference between your Average Joe and Cottonmouth Joe.”
Page 54 · Location 791
“However, commiserating with your teammates keeps all of you stuck in the mire of a negativity loop. After two years, many jumped ship or were forced to walk the plank, like I was. There were thirty-three of us who had quit or were fired by the time I was handed my box of belongings and escorted to my car by Laura, the head vet assistant, of all people. My boss called the mass exodus “God weeding the garden.”
Page 55 · Location 797
“I’m convinced that Golden Retrievers have a manual they all read at birth about how to carry a leash in their mouths, and pugs have one with instructions on how to make nail trims as difficult as possible (“ If all else fails, turn blue”). I’m also convinced there’s a secret manager’s manual titled Team Building 101: How to Tear People to Shreds and Expect Them to Do Better, by Managers without a Clue.”
Page 55 · Location 808
“Training new staff is expensive and time-consuming. It’s so much more efficient to value and train the staff you already have. Take the time to give and receive feedback on a regular basis before the train derails. It’s usually the quiet, unassuming staff members who know what’s truly going on behind the scenes. If you’ve ever seen footage of a wild horse herd, the lead mare isn’t necessarily the strongest or most outgoing, but the most aware. She is the one who will ultimately warn the herd of danger. Leadership is an ongoing practice of awareness, not just a title.”
Page 59 · Location 862
“I don’t understand why so many managers seem to be threatened by licensed technicians. We don’t want their job, we just want to be able to do ours in a supportive and harmonious environment. We want an advocate who has our backs and understands the stresses of the job without piling on more. Trust me, if we wanted to manage people all day, we wouldn’t have gone into the animal business.”
Page 60 · Location 874
“We know that we can’t save them all, and we can’t die trying. We’re both living proof that it is possible to move on and find peace and purpose in the stressful world of veterinary medicine.”
Page 60 · Location 881
“The Golden Rule (treat others how you wish to be treated) has now been replaced by the Platinum Rule (treat others how they wish to be treated).”
Page 61 · Location 896
“1. Who controls the culture at your workplace? Are they open to hearing ways of doing things differently?”
Page 61 · Location 898
“3. Have you ever been treated with total disrespect by someone in authority? How did it make you feel? How could you have handled it differently?”
Page 63 · Location 915
“Our life is shaped by our mind; we become what we think. Joy follows a pure thought like a shadow that never leaves.”—Buddha
Page 69 · Location 1019
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” (Viktor Frankl).
Page 70 · Location 1047
“Remind yourself that you are living “the good ol’ days” right now, and don’t let the past or future hijack your experience.”
Page 75 · Location 1112
“A good exercise if you’re feeling anxious is to focus on five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste in your environment (those last two may be dicey in a veterinary clinic). This will bring your mind to the present, so it has something to anchor to other than its usual hamster wheel worry loop.”
Page 82 · Location 1223
“What is to give light must endure burning.” (Viktor Frankl)
Page 85 · Location 1268
“I hate to break the news, but the person complaining is usually just a scapegoat for a far greater culture issue. They’re like the canary in the coal mine, and getting rid of every canary won’t fix what’s making them sick. Get rid of the loudest canary before it dies on your watch, and there’s soon another to take its place, because it’s the toxic air that’s killing them, not the loudness of their voice desperately seeking help. We need leaders who hear us and take action on our behalf.”
Page 85 · Location 1272
“Some of you may no longer enjoy your day off because you know you’ll have anxiety and worrisome thoughts about going back to work and the uncertainty of what you might face.”
Page 95 · Location 1429
“There is a gap, a small, sacred space of stillness, between your thoughts and your emotions. How you feel about things will then determine how you act. That small space gives you time to choose your behavior by consciously controlling what you’re thinking. You don’t have to react to every perceived slight—you don’t have to attend every party you’re invited to. No matter the subject, there are always those who try to remind you of how they are right and you are wrong. Remember what we learned about narcissists? These people are always looking for a reaction from you to engage their ego drama, and if you stop feeding into it, they will eventually go find other prey. You won’t be fun to harass anymore. Which is fine, because you have better things to do with your time, like concentrating on creating your best possible life—living the highest version of your dreams.”
Page 97 · Location 1460
“No matter how dire the situation, suffering comes from wanting things to be different than they are. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”
Page 98 · Location 1473
“Don’t let yourself get so entangled in the story inside your head that it consumes you, and you become one of the unconscious ones. Focus on the facts. Be in the now, which is all there is.”
July 13, 2023
Tracy Bittner writes with hard-won wisdom gained over the course of her career as a Licensed Veterinary Technician about achieving wholeness and happiness using the practices of awareness, meditation, and self-care. While Bittner writes about experiences in the world of administering veterinary care, she makes her experiences accessible to anybody who picks up her book. The range of experiences she describes–losing her horse in a barn fire, euthanizing her own dog at the end of a long day of euthanizing six other companion pets, being sabotaged by managers driven by their love of power–are relatable. Her experiences establish her authority as someone who knows what it takes to overcome toxic people through consistent effort from day to day. Each chapter ends with key takeaways and useful resources for further investigation. Read this book, and you will find yourself equipped to deal with the people around you without succumbing to their negativity and to find happiness that will run deep after a some practical effort.
#bekindtoveterinarycaregivers
#justbe kind
#bekindtoveterinarycaregivers
#justbe kind
August 27, 2023
This was a lovely little read and I would highly recommend it to any of my veterinary medicine colleagues. Don't get me wrong, I would have to say there's nothing super ground-breaking about this book. It didn't drastically change my life or anything. But it is a very COMFORTING read for those in the field. It's an incredibly validating book that offers a real morale boost to an industry that is silently screaming for help. The author tackles all sorts of issues that almost all of us in the field have dealt with, and honestly, just seeing your feelings and experiences mirrored back at you helps some of the isolated feelings that come along with what we do.
There's also quite a bit of spiritually and experimental medical practices in here that are intriguing and require a very open mind. The last few chapters will certainly turn a few people off, but they're a super fascinating look at a completely different side of wholistic medicine.
A quick, must read for vet med professionals. This book is a total spirit-lifter.
There's also quite a bit of spiritually and experimental medical practices in here that are intriguing and require a very open mind. The last few chapters will certainly turn a few people off, but they're a super fascinating look at a completely different side of wholistic medicine.
A quick, must read for vet med professionals. This book is a total spirit-lifter.
August 30, 2023
Definitely not what I was expecting to read based on recommendations from other vet techs. While there is a lot of great information, I was not expecting so much about holistic medicine and meditation recommendations. It's not really anything that I'm interested in or have previously found helpful, but it may absolutely help others struggling in the field. I will still recommend this book to any fellow coworkers or friends I have who are in the field and are having a hard time, even if I didn't take a lot from it.
August 6, 2023
This book makes me sad for our profession, yet inspired at the same time. I know that doesn’t make sense. Knowing that there are other people out there that want to improve the quality of life Vet Professionals have (in all job titles) makes you hopeful. Reading and hearing the ugliest stories of what people have lived through is sad, however how do we change and do better for the humans so in return the animals will benefit? We can do this, we have to do this.
December 27, 2021
This book was so relatable as someone working in veterinary medicine. Great tips on keeping one’s sanity in check, recognizing when you need to take a step back, handling the chaos and emotional rollercoaster that is an every day occurrence. Journaling prompts and resources at the end of every chapter!
August 22, 2023
Was hoping this was going to be a book to pass along to friends and family to better understand what a technician goes through, but it was more of a “how to” book in regards to dealing with certain aspects of the industry. I agree with many points made in the book and think it would be helpful for those who enjoy self help books. However it did not live up to the hype for me.
August 2, 2024
Alright
This wasn’t what I expected. It didn’t tell much that isn’t involved in any other job setting. It is common sense that unfortunately these circumstances do happen, but there is nothing new here that cannot be experienced anywhere else (Regardless of work or not). Save your $, unless you’re super curious to read this… then it is worth it.
This wasn’t what I expected. It didn’t tell much that isn’t involved in any other job setting. It is common sense that unfortunately these circumstances do happen, but there is nothing new here that cannot be experienced anywhere else (Regardless of work or not). Save your $, unless you’re super curious to read this… then it is worth it.
August 4, 2024
I've been in vet med for almost three years now and felt deeply so much of what Tracy mentioned throughout the book. I actually took comfort in the familiarity of her stories, because sometimes you question if your clinic is the only one going through these experiences.
And the part about RVT/LVT/CVT?! THANK YOU!!!!
I wish this was required reading for any pet owner.
And the part about RVT/LVT/CVT?! THANK YOU!!!!
I wish this was required reading for any pet owner.
October 13, 2025
This book highlights the unique struggles of veterinary medicine and provides coping mechanisms. Personally, it didn't end up resonating with me, but I can think of a few colleagues who would benefit from reading this book. I think it would make many people feel less alone with their struggles in this challenging career.
January 7, 2024
There is a lot of points within this book that I can relate too and make connections with but also while reading it felt like a chore to do so. I enjoyed parts of the book. It just wasn’t what I thought it was going to be.
January 13, 2024
Such a good book! Definitely one to keep on the shelf for when work gets hard! Highly recommend that spouses of vet employees read as well. There are prompts at the end that make you think and I really enjoyed them!
December 24, 2024
vet tech must read
Definitely worth reading if you are a vet tech. This job is very under appreciated, the book def made me realize I’m not crazy feeling the way I feel sometimes in this field.
Definitely worth reading if you are a vet tech. This job is very under appreciated, the book def made me realize I’m not crazy feeling the way I feel sometimes in this field.
October 20, 2021
A brave story with valuable life lessons
In this book, anger turned to hope with a bounty of real life experiences, resources and life lessons to help us all.
In this book, anger turned to hope with a bounty of real life experiences, resources and life lessons to help us all.
February 21, 2023
The beginning was strong but lost me in the spiritual and mental methods in dealing with stressful work conditions.
February 28, 2023
⭐️⭐️⭐️.5
"A friend of mine described her relationship with veterinary medicine as "abusive-it beats the crap out of you physically and emotionally, but you can't stop coming back to it "
"A friend of mine described her relationship with veterinary medicine as "abusive-it beats the crap out of you physically and emotionally, but you can't stop coming back to it "
August 17, 2023
Should be required reading for Veterinarians, Vet Techs and Hospital Managers. Very insightful and eye opening.
November 8, 2023
3.75 ⭐️
February 25, 2024
I feel like me and the author have a lot in common... she gives some great tips to help cope with the mental and physical stress of working in the vet field!
October 21, 2025
Interesting
This was a very interesting read. It was nice to be seen and be able to relate. I recommend to all vet techs.
This was a very interesting read. It was nice to be seen and be able to relate. I recommend to all vet techs.
September 3, 2024
Fantastic book all about being a Veterinary Technician. 🐶🐱🩺
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