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Healing Out Loud: How to Embrace God's Love When You Don't Like Yourself
In this unique look at a one-year journey through counseling told from both sides of the couch, Sandi Brown―the founder of St. Louis’s largest Christian radio ministry, JOY FM―and her counselor, Dr. Michelle Caulk, walk through Sandi’s therapy journey, answering the question, “What do I do when I know God loves me, but I don’t like myself?” Shame, embarrassment, negativity. The struggle to love ourselves as the joyfully-made women we are has never been more difficult. When Sandi began her journey towards healing and freedom, she thought she was alone in her struggles. By working with Michelle, the two found that scores of women experience a disconnect between how they see themselves and God’s image. Healing Out Loud captures many of the insecurities the modern woman faces in her walk with Christ. Written in conversational prose, Brown and Caulk’s combined voice creates an accessible path for readers to face their vulnerabilities with biblical insight. In these pages you’ll At the intersection of faith and humanness, Healing Out Loud provides a guiding hand to overcome the negative thoughts that keep you from living fully in God’s light.
PRAISE FOR HEALING OUT LOUD " Healing Out Loud is a book that beautifully takes you to a place where faith and healing collide. It is a journey through healing from trauma and confronting shame. But also offers hope and insightful tools for you to do some inner work. You will relate to Sandi's vulnerability and you will feel like Michelle is your personal therapist. Ha! It can feel scary to peel back the layers of trauma and shame. But this book shows how necessary it is to dive into those parts of your story and how truly, God is right there with you."
―Blanca, Billboard chart-topping Christian recording artist "It takes tremendous courage for a public figure in a Christian organization to step forward and share a personal story filled with trauma and shame. This is one of those leaders and one of those stories. Sandi Brown takes vulnerability to a new level when she boldly & humbly exposes her past and her healing journey. I’ve lost count how many people I’ve encouraged to read Healing Out Loud . Consider this another personal invite from me. Please read the book. You will experience grace on every page."
―Judy West, Pastor/Staff & Leadership Development at The Crossing and Leader of WXP "Rarely are we given a glimpse inside the process of therapy. Healing Out Loud gives us just that―a view of the healing, transformative journey between client and therapist. Whether you’re someone who is simply aware that, like all of us, you long for growth and healing in your own life, or whether you’re a therapist yourself and interested in learning more about the power of the therapeutic relationship, this is an important read. Healing Out Loud will be a book I return to over and over and will be recommended reading for all my clients!"
―Dr. Brian Fidler, LPC, LMFT, Executive Director, Restoration Counseling and Assistant Professor, Colorado Christian University
PRAISE FOR HEALING OUT LOUD " Healing Out Loud is a book that beautifully takes you to a place where faith and healing collide. It is a journey through healing from trauma and confronting shame. But also offers hope and insightful tools for you to do some inner work. You will relate to Sandi's vulnerability and you will feel like Michelle is your personal therapist. Ha! It can feel scary to peel back the layers of trauma and shame. But this book shows how necessary it is to dive into those parts of your story and how truly, God is right there with you."
―Blanca, Billboard chart-topping Christian recording artist "It takes tremendous courage for a public figure in a Christian organization to step forward and share a personal story filled with trauma and shame. This is one of those leaders and one of those stories. Sandi Brown takes vulnerability to a new level when she boldly & humbly exposes her past and her healing journey. I’ve lost count how many people I’ve encouraged to read Healing Out Loud . Consider this another personal invite from me. Please read the book. You will experience grace on every page."
―Judy West, Pastor/Staff & Leadership Development at The Crossing and Leader of WXP "Rarely are we given a glimpse inside the process of therapy. Healing Out Loud gives us just that―a view of the healing, transformative journey between client and therapist. Whether you’re someone who is simply aware that, like all of us, you long for growth and healing in your own life, or whether you’re a therapist yourself and interested in learning more about the power of the therapeutic relationship, this is an important read. Healing Out Loud will be a book I return to over and over and will be recommended reading for all my clients!"
―Dr. Brian Fidler, LPC, LMFT, Executive Director, Restoration Counseling and Assistant Professor, Colorado Christian University
240 pages, Hardcover
Published December 29, 2020
7 people are currently reading
105 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
November 8, 2024
I will admit, at times the writing felt cliche, but overall, it was a breath of fresh air. The reality of knowing what God says about you, but not being able to fully grasp it and being confused about that disconnection, is frequently overlooked in Christian culture with mental health generally having a negative connotation.
I appreciated the balance of patient & counselor discord, with encouragement for the reader to dig into the same topics. The conversation rooting back to listening to your emotions and what they’re trying to tell you, instead of trying to figure out if they’re good or bad, was overwhelming helpful for me personally.
Each chapter covered different but important ideas of healing your emotions and strengthening your faith. Some of my most impactful notes are:
* What if God’s plan for you is the journey THROUGH the emotions, instead of a “one stop” emotional cleanup?
* We can only walk in truth when we acknowledge where we’ve been and where we are.
* While our identity in Christ never changes, the seasons we go through as we grow up can be confusing as we hold onto the past as well as change over the years!
* The lies we tell ourselves are often shallow and not representative of who we are as a whole.
* Often times we challenge God’s “like” for us - not His love!
* “God created us to be human beings, rather than human doings.” !!!!!!
I see myself coming back to this book often as I need to sort through emotions & life circumstances!
I appreciated the balance of patient & counselor discord, with encouragement for the reader to dig into the same topics. The conversation rooting back to listening to your emotions and what they’re trying to tell you, instead of trying to figure out if they’re good or bad, was overwhelming helpful for me personally.
Each chapter covered different but important ideas of healing your emotions and strengthening your faith. Some of my most impactful notes are:
* What if God’s plan for you is the journey THROUGH the emotions, instead of a “one stop” emotional cleanup?
* We can only walk in truth when we acknowledge where we’ve been and where we are.
* While our identity in Christ never changes, the seasons we go through as we grow up can be confusing as we hold onto the past as well as change over the years!
* The lies we tell ourselves are often shallow and not representative of who we are as a whole.
* Often times we challenge God’s “like” for us - not His love!
* “God created us to be human beings, rather than human doings.” !!!!!!
I see myself coming back to this book often as I need to sort through emotions & life circumstances!
June 25, 2022
I think this is a really helpful book. It highlights the connection between our emotional, relational, and spiritual health. I think it also alludes to the complexity of the therapy process. I think the reflection questions are great. My only caveat is that I feel like the road map gives the impression that therapy/growth happens in a particular pattern and timeframe. To be fair, the book notes that this is not the case, but I feel like the healing map and the "where are we now" sections still leave that impression. Similarly, I found myself wishing for a bit more rawness. To me, the book felt a little too polished, although I acknowledge and appreciate the courage I'm sure it took to write it.
September 30, 2022
Awesome book! A definite read for anyone with a hurt and broken past. Off to buy this one and re read as needed.💝
August 28, 2023
This was a brave book to write, both for the client (Sandi Brown) and the therapist (Dr. Michelle Caulk), as it endeavored to help the reader learn “How to Embrace God’s Love When You Don’t Like Yourself” (the subtitle of the book). Sandi is an accomplished Christian radio professional who, to all appearances, had “herself together” but inwardly was dealing with years of negative life experiences, including abandonment by her biological father, abuse by her stepfather, and a history of denial of her difficult childhood and beyond. Her words emphasized her plight: “A constant undercurrent of negative thoughts and emotions flowed through my mind, mostly directed at myself” (. 3). Sandi began her story with this introductory sentence, a sentence she said “out loud, in the counseling room” ‘I love God, but I don’t like myself’” (p. xi).
Introducing the yearlong counseling process with what Dr. Caulk described as a “Healing Map,” a visual representation of the non-linear, back-and-forth, a labyrinthine journey of healing that is represented in eleven sequential chapters that chronicled the counseling journey. Each step of the process is presented in the same format. First, Sandi’s exact words were quoted along with her thoughts on the experience of each step. Then, Dr. Caulk invested time in unpacking the process for each part of the process, discussing the how and why of the counseling for each part of the journey. Each step was followed with a guided reflection on the content of the chapter, challenging the reader to engage with the process. Pertinent biblical references were offered, and a specific prayer to God for guidance and insight closed each step. Following is a brief review of each landmark on the Map.
Chapter One, “Warning Lights,” is described on the Map as “Recognizing Your Emotions,” encouraging the individual to recognize and name the feelings that have been denied for so long. Chapter Two, “What Shame?” is titled on the Map as “Uncover and Confront Your Shame.” Chapter Three, “Hiding Place,” is described as the “Impact of Your Pain.” Chapter Four, “Secret Keeper,” asks the reader to “Look at Your Pain with Compassion and Truth.” The fifth chapter, “Memory Bag,” challenges the individual to “Make Choices about Your Memories.” Chapter Six, “Lost and Found,” encourages the reader to “Acknowledge, Grieve, and Lament.” I found this chapter exceptionally powerful. Moving on, the authors titled Chapter Seven “At a Boil,” where one is to “Feel and Release Anger.” Chapter Eight, “Perception is Reality,” presses the individual to “Embrace Your identity.” The reader is confronted with the need to be “Naked in the Street” in Chapter Nine, to “Share Your Story” with someone safe. The insights provided here demonstrate the extraordinary power in opening up to another to make these experiences real. Chapter Ten, “Less Yuck,” is described on the Healing Map as the action to “Define Your ‘Better,’” Finally, Chapter Eleven is titled “Healing out Loud, described as “Seeing the New.” Portions of the Map were offered at each step of the process to track the journey. In addition, the unpacking insights offered by Dr. Caulk (introduced with a line drawing of a couch) were rich with information to describe and inform the counseling taking place at each of the eleven points on the Map.
The epilogue of this insightful book began with the very words of Sandi written when she and her boyfriend (now her husband) broke up, closing with her followup thoughts using the metaphor of a kite to enrich her description of the experience with Dr. Caulk. Sandi closed with the words from Psalm 18:19: “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me” (p. 209).
Additional sources included books for further reading as well as Web resources for finding an appropriate therapist as well as information to help the Christian in the journey to wellness.
One minor caveat from this book was the inclusion of Sarah Young’s book, "Jesus Calling," a devotional book that seems to present content as something beyond Scripture. Nonetheless, Healing Out Loud is an exceptional resource for both the individual struggling with unresolved sadness and the counselor who seeks to help them through the journey. Dr. Caulk’s dedication emphasizes this: “To all those who are on the courageous path toward healing and wholeness. God sees you, and He walks behind beside, and ahead of you” (n.p.).
Introducing the yearlong counseling process with what Dr. Caulk described as a “Healing Map,” a visual representation of the non-linear, back-and-forth, a labyrinthine journey of healing that is represented in eleven sequential chapters that chronicled the counseling journey. Each step of the process is presented in the same format. First, Sandi’s exact words were quoted along with her thoughts on the experience of each step. Then, Dr. Caulk invested time in unpacking the process for each part of the process, discussing the how and why of the counseling for each part of the journey. Each step was followed with a guided reflection on the content of the chapter, challenging the reader to engage with the process. Pertinent biblical references were offered, and a specific prayer to God for guidance and insight closed each step. Following is a brief review of each landmark on the Map.
Chapter One, “Warning Lights,” is described on the Map as “Recognizing Your Emotions,” encouraging the individual to recognize and name the feelings that have been denied for so long. Chapter Two, “What Shame?” is titled on the Map as “Uncover and Confront Your Shame.” Chapter Three, “Hiding Place,” is described as the “Impact of Your Pain.” Chapter Four, “Secret Keeper,” asks the reader to “Look at Your Pain with Compassion and Truth.” The fifth chapter, “Memory Bag,” challenges the individual to “Make Choices about Your Memories.” Chapter Six, “Lost and Found,” encourages the reader to “Acknowledge, Grieve, and Lament.” I found this chapter exceptionally powerful. Moving on, the authors titled Chapter Seven “At a Boil,” where one is to “Feel and Release Anger.” Chapter Eight, “Perception is Reality,” presses the individual to “Embrace Your identity.” The reader is confronted with the need to be “Naked in the Street” in Chapter Nine, to “Share Your Story” with someone safe. The insights provided here demonstrate the extraordinary power in opening up to another to make these experiences real. Chapter Ten, “Less Yuck,” is described on the Healing Map as the action to “Define Your ‘Better,’” Finally, Chapter Eleven is titled “Healing out Loud, described as “Seeing the New.” Portions of the Map were offered at each step of the process to track the journey. In addition, the unpacking insights offered by Dr. Caulk (introduced with a line drawing of a couch) were rich with information to describe and inform the counseling taking place at each of the eleven points on the Map.
The epilogue of this insightful book began with the very words of Sandi written when she and her boyfriend (now her husband) broke up, closing with her followup thoughts using the metaphor of a kite to enrich her description of the experience with Dr. Caulk. Sandi closed with the words from Psalm 18:19: “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me” (p. 209).
Additional sources included books for further reading as well as Web resources for finding an appropriate therapist as well as information to help the Christian in the journey to wellness.
One minor caveat from this book was the inclusion of Sarah Young’s book, "Jesus Calling," a devotional book that seems to present content as something beyond Scripture. Nonetheless, Healing Out Loud is an exceptional resource for both the individual struggling with unresolved sadness and the counselor who seeks to help them through the journey. Dr. Caulk’s dedication emphasizes this: “To all those who are on the courageous path toward healing and wholeness. God sees you, and He walks behind beside, and ahead of you” (n.p.).
January 21, 2022
Healing Out Loud
How to Embrace God’s Love When You Don’t Like Yourself
by Sandi Brown; Michelle Caulk
Pub Date 04 Jan 2022 |
Dexterity
Christian | Health, Mind & Body | Self-Help
I am reviewing a copy of Healing Out Loud through Dexterity and Netgalley:
Healing out Loud is a unique look at counseling from both patients and counselor. Sandi Brown the founder of St. Louis’s largest Christian radio ministry, JOY FM—and her counselor, Dr. Michelle Caulk, walk through Sandi’s therapy journey, answering the question, “What do I do when I know God loves me, but I don’t like myself?”
Shame, embarrassment, negativity. The struggle to love ourselves as the joyfully-made women we are has never been more difficult. When Sandi began her journey towards healing and freedom, she thought she was alone in her struggles. By working with Michelle, the two found that scores of women experience a disconnect between how they see themselves and God’s image.
Healing Out Loud captures many of the insecurities the modern woman faces in her walk with Christ. The conversational prose it is written in makes for easy reading, and allows you to face the struggles with Biblical insight.
I give Healing Out Loud five out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
How to Embrace God’s Love When You Don’t Like Yourself
by Sandi Brown; Michelle Caulk
Pub Date 04 Jan 2022 |
Dexterity
Christian | Health, Mind & Body | Self-Help
I am reviewing a copy of Healing Out Loud through Dexterity and Netgalley:
Healing out Loud is a unique look at counseling from both patients and counselor. Sandi Brown the founder of St. Louis’s largest Christian radio ministry, JOY FM—and her counselor, Dr. Michelle Caulk, walk through Sandi’s therapy journey, answering the question, “What do I do when I know God loves me, but I don’t like myself?”
Shame, embarrassment, negativity. The struggle to love ourselves as the joyfully-made women we are has never been more difficult. When Sandi began her journey towards healing and freedom, she thought she was alone in her struggles. By working with Michelle, the two found that scores of women experience a disconnect between how they see themselves and God’s image.
Healing Out Loud captures many of the insecurities the modern woman faces in her walk with Christ. The conversational prose it is written in makes for easy reading, and allows you to face the struggles with Biblical insight.
I give Healing Out Loud five out of five stars!
Happy Reading!
May 30, 2022
This book took a lot of courage and vulnerability to write. I am amazed by the author, and her ability to cohesively put words and a timeline down on paper to her healing journey. Healing Out Loud is exactly that, a story about her process through therapy from pain to health.
If you are going through therapy yourself, this book is very helpful. There are times when you wonder, “is this working?” This book helps the reader believe in the therapy journey, see the guideposts along the way and it offers hope. I am so glad I requested it. In order to fully digest all of the nuggets in each chapter, I had to read it slowly.
Trigger warning: it may trigger trauma related to sexual abuse.
I would recommend this book to any mature reader. I was given a copy in exchange of this review.
If you are going through therapy yourself, this book is very helpful. There are times when you wonder, “is this working?” This book helps the reader believe in the therapy journey, see the guideposts along the way and it offers hope. I am so glad I requested it. In order to fully digest all of the nuggets in each chapter, I had to read it slowly.
Trigger warning: it may trigger trauma related to sexual abuse.
I would recommend this book to any mature reader. I was given a copy in exchange of this review.
August 4, 2023
We can change how we think and choose how we react! Healing Out Loud provides practical help for healing from trauma, intrusive thoughts, overwhelming emotions and painful triggers. Written jointly by counselor and client, this book is easy to read and can be used as a workbook. Although each person's struggle is unique, the tools shared in this book can be useful to anyone who is willing to apply them. Faith in Jesus and the written Word of God are a significant part of the conversation between this counselor and client. Even if Christian faith is not a part of your life, this book is still useful as a guide to healing.
January 3, 2022
Fantastic book with both the perspective of a counselor and client/patient. It has some great questions for reflection and resources.
February 23, 2022
Easy to read, well written on difficult subject matter. Refreshing honesty & insights
February 25, 2022
Honest. Easy to read healing journey. Real life examples we can all understand and be uplifted by!
June 5, 2025
It was a very helpful book in the healing process that I am working on.
May 3, 2024
🎧: I so appreciated this one. I’ll be going through it again more slowly next time. Really valuable and insightful. This would benefit anyone who has suffered trauma, abuse, or bullying and experienced it affect their self-worth/confidence.
May 8, 2022
Wow! This book beautifully connected the importance of mental health and relationship with God. I have never read something that so clearly provided a guide to healing by uniting the power of therapy and prayer. Highly recommend!
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews