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Devenir un leader émotionnellement sain
Le leadership aujourd’hui est généralement défini comme la capacité d’une personne à influencer, à diriger ou à fédérer un groupe, pour atteindre un but commun, dans une relation de confiance mutuelle. Les enjeux sont tels que la maturité émotionnelle du leader – ce que les spécialistes appellent « l’intelligence émotionnelle » – ne peut être facultative.
Selon Peter Scazzero, les changements durables dans les Églises et les organisations requièrent des hommes et des femmes engagés à diriger sur les fondements d’une vie intérieure profonde et transformée, enracinée dans une communion d’amour avec Dieu. Notre façon de diriger dépend davantage de qui nous sommes que des stratégies et des techniques que nous mettons en oeuvre. Si nous échouons à reconnaître que ce que nous sommes intérieurement façonne chaque aspect de notre leadership, nous causerons des dommages, à nous-mêmes et à ceux que nous dirigeons.
Selon Peter Scazzero, les changements durables dans les Églises et les organisations requièrent des hommes et des femmes engagés à diriger sur les fondements d’une vie intérieure profonde et transformée, enracinée dans une communion d’amour avec Dieu. Notre façon de diriger dépend davantage de qui nous sommes que des stratégies et des techniques que nous mettons en oeuvre. Si nous échouons à reconnaître que ce que nous sommes intérieurement façonne chaque aspect de notre leadership, nous causerons des dommages, à nous-mêmes et à ceux que nous dirigeons.
360 pages, Paperback
First published June 23, 2015
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 426 reviews
August 2, 2018
Really 3 and 3/4 stars. A very good book, the 2nd half especially. A lot that would be helpful for most pastors. I fear it won't appeal to many given the author's frequent reliance on contemplative spirituality, quoting of theologians along those lines, and evident egalitarianism. This doesn't make it a bad book, but a spotty one. Still, I'm glad I read it. Just wish maybe someone could write a comparable treatment of this important subject from a more solid theological vantage point using more solid theologians for reference. I was also a little concerned about his frequent willingness to tell personal stories that paint friends and colleagues in fairly negative light. I suppose he has secured their permission but I found myself often thinking, "I wouldn't have shared that about people I've worked with." (shrug)
June 23, 2015
Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and the World (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2015). Hardcover | Kindle
In 1993, I quit my job as an associate pastor before my senior pastor could fire me. I hadn’t begun teaching heterodox doctrine or engaged in a sexual affair or some other moral failure. No, I had vociferously challenged the “seeker-sensitive” direction he was taking the church. As a 24-year-old seminary student, I felt I knew a lot more about ministry than my pastor did, and I wasn’t hesitant to download my “knowledge” on him. Needless to say, this frustrated him personally and hampered the church’s evangelistic ministry. At a tense lunch meeting, my pastor told me I needed to shape up or ship out, so I tendered my resignation and left.
At the time, I thought my quitting was a matter of principle. I realized later, however, that it was really a manifestation of emotionally unhealthiness. I was young and immature but working in a missional environment that required a spiritual grownup. Several years of apprenticeship at a more traditional church, combined with two years’ work in corporate America, wised me up and mellowed me out. In 1999, I’m happy to say, I returned to work for the pastor who had wanted to fire me, and I count those years as some of the best of my career.
“The emotionally unhealthy leader,” Peter Scazzero writes in his new book, “is someone who operates in a continuous state of emotional and spiritual deficit, lacking emotional maturity and a ‘being with God’ sufficient to sustain their ‘doing for God.’” That described me to a tee back then. I was thinking too much and feeling too little, reading too much and praying too little, reflecting on “big ideas” too much and relating to others too little. My life was out of balance, which meant my ministry was out of balance too.
In The Emotionally Healthy Leader, Scazzero encourages pastors and other ministry leaders to take inventory of their inner and outer lives, to make sure they are operating in both areas out of a spiritual and emotional surplus. Jesus said, “the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Matt. 6:45), and that lesson is true for more than what we say. Our heart determines everything. What we do reflects who we are.
The Inner Life
The first half of Scazzero’s book focuses on four practices that shape a person’s ability “to lead from a deep and transformed inner life”:
Face your shadow.
Lead out of your marriage/singleness.
Slow down for loving union.
Practice Sabbath delight.
Scazzero concedes that there are more practices than these, but they are the ones that “emerged as foundational, both in [his] own life and in two decades of mentoring other leaders.”
Your “shadow” is “the accumulation of untamed emotions, less-than-pure motives and thoughts that, while largely unconscious, strongly influence and shape your behaviors. It is the damaged but mostly hidden version of who you are.” Until your shadow is exposed to the light, it will undermine you, limit your service, and blind you to the shadow-side of others.
Ministry and marital status present a unique set of challenges for Christian leaders. Married leaders often prioritize ministry over their spouses, sacrificing them on the altar of service. Single leaders do the same, though what gets sacrificed in their case is any sense of the value and importance of their personal lives and friendships. “Our whole life as a leader is to bear witness for God’s love for the world,” Scazzero writes. “But we do so in different ways as marrieds or singles.”
“Slow down for loving union” means tending to our own spiritual wellbeing. Doing so reveals a dilemma faced by many Christian leaders. Scazzero writes: “Doing our part to cultivate a relationship of loving union with God requires time—time that, paradoxically, we don’t have because we are too busy serving him.”
That brings us to “Sabbath delight.” “Biblical Sabbath is a twenty-four-hour block of time in which we stop work, take rest, practice delight, and contemplate God.” I know of many pastors who preach about Sabbath rest—myself included. I know fewer who actually practice it, scheduling a regular weekly time of rest their ministerial labors. Is it any wonder that unrested ministers experience so much burnout?
The Outer Life
The cultivation of our inner lives transforms the ways we do ministry. The second half of Scazzero’s book focuses on four tasks common to leaders:
Planning and decision making
Culture and team building
Power and wise boundaries
Endings and new beginnings
For each task, Scazzero shows how the four practices described in the first half of the book change—sometimes radically—the way we do things as Christian leaders. “There is a disconnect,” he writes, “when we fail to apply our spirituality with Jesus to such leadership tasks as planning, team building, boundaries, endings, and new beginnings. Too often, we rely instead on unmodified business practices to navigate those tasks, grafting secular branches onto our spiritual root system. This tends to bear the wrong kind of fruit… The life from our root system with Jesus must flow upward and outward into every aspect of our outer leadership tasks if we are to bear good fruit.”
I benefited from reading The Emotionally Healthy Leader and recommend it to other Christian leaders, whether they serve as pastors, board members, or leading volunteers. It is well and winsomely written. It does not discuss everything that could to be said about the topic, as Scazzero himself concedes, but it tries to address the most important things with advice shaped by biblical wisdom, personal and pastoral experience, and psychological insight.
_____
P.S. If you found my review helpful, please vote “Yes” on my Amazon.com review page.
In 1993, I quit my job as an associate pastor before my senior pastor could fire me. I hadn’t begun teaching heterodox doctrine or engaged in a sexual affair or some other moral failure. No, I had vociferously challenged the “seeker-sensitive” direction he was taking the church. As a 24-year-old seminary student, I felt I knew a lot more about ministry than my pastor did, and I wasn’t hesitant to download my “knowledge” on him. Needless to say, this frustrated him personally and hampered the church’s evangelistic ministry. At a tense lunch meeting, my pastor told me I needed to shape up or ship out, so I tendered my resignation and left.
At the time, I thought my quitting was a matter of principle. I realized later, however, that it was really a manifestation of emotionally unhealthiness. I was young and immature but working in a missional environment that required a spiritual grownup. Several years of apprenticeship at a more traditional church, combined with two years’ work in corporate America, wised me up and mellowed me out. In 1999, I’m happy to say, I returned to work for the pastor who had wanted to fire me, and I count those years as some of the best of my career.
“The emotionally unhealthy leader,” Peter Scazzero writes in his new book, “is someone who operates in a continuous state of emotional and spiritual deficit, lacking emotional maturity and a ‘being with God’ sufficient to sustain their ‘doing for God.’” That described me to a tee back then. I was thinking too much and feeling too little, reading too much and praying too little, reflecting on “big ideas” too much and relating to others too little. My life was out of balance, which meant my ministry was out of balance too.
In The Emotionally Healthy Leader, Scazzero encourages pastors and other ministry leaders to take inventory of their inner and outer lives, to make sure they are operating in both areas out of a spiritual and emotional surplus. Jesus said, “the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Matt. 6:45), and that lesson is true for more than what we say. Our heart determines everything. What we do reflects who we are.
The Inner Life
The first half of Scazzero’s book focuses on four practices that shape a person’s ability “to lead from a deep and transformed inner life”:
Face your shadow.
Lead out of your marriage/singleness.
Slow down for loving union.
Practice Sabbath delight.
Scazzero concedes that there are more practices than these, but they are the ones that “emerged as foundational, both in [his] own life and in two decades of mentoring other leaders.”
Your “shadow” is “the accumulation of untamed emotions, less-than-pure motives and thoughts that, while largely unconscious, strongly influence and shape your behaviors. It is the damaged but mostly hidden version of who you are.” Until your shadow is exposed to the light, it will undermine you, limit your service, and blind you to the shadow-side of others.
Ministry and marital status present a unique set of challenges for Christian leaders. Married leaders often prioritize ministry over their spouses, sacrificing them on the altar of service. Single leaders do the same, though what gets sacrificed in their case is any sense of the value and importance of their personal lives and friendships. “Our whole life as a leader is to bear witness for God’s love for the world,” Scazzero writes. “But we do so in different ways as marrieds or singles.”
“Slow down for loving union” means tending to our own spiritual wellbeing. Doing so reveals a dilemma faced by many Christian leaders. Scazzero writes: “Doing our part to cultivate a relationship of loving union with God requires time—time that, paradoxically, we don’t have because we are too busy serving him.”
That brings us to “Sabbath delight.” “Biblical Sabbath is a twenty-four-hour block of time in which we stop work, take rest, practice delight, and contemplate God.” I know of many pastors who preach about Sabbath rest—myself included. I know fewer who actually practice it, scheduling a regular weekly time of rest their ministerial labors. Is it any wonder that unrested ministers experience so much burnout?
The Outer Life
The cultivation of our inner lives transforms the ways we do ministry. The second half of Scazzero’s book focuses on four tasks common to leaders:
Planning and decision making
Culture and team building
Power and wise boundaries
Endings and new beginnings
For each task, Scazzero shows how the four practices described in the first half of the book change—sometimes radically—the way we do things as Christian leaders. “There is a disconnect,” he writes, “when we fail to apply our spirituality with Jesus to such leadership tasks as planning, team building, boundaries, endings, and new beginnings. Too often, we rely instead on unmodified business practices to navigate those tasks, grafting secular branches onto our spiritual root system. This tends to bear the wrong kind of fruit… The life from our root system with Jesus must flow upward and outward into every aspect of our outer leadership tasks if we are to bear good fruit.”
* * * * *
I benefited from reading The Emotionally Healthy Leader and recommend it to other Christian leaders, whether they serve as pastors, board members, or leading volunteers. It is well and winsomely written. It does not discuss everything that could to be said about the topic, as Scazzero himself concedes, but it tries to address the most important things with advice shaped by biblical wisdom, personal and pastoral experience, and psychological insight.
_____
P.S. If you found my review helpful, please vote “Yes” on my Amazon.com review page.
July 25, 2016
I found the framework and the evaluation questions incredibly helpful. I especially appreciated his writing on Sabbath. The only part that hugged me down were the endless stories as examples. Some readers may love these. I found them tedious. Over all this is a super helpful book.
June 23, 2017
Peter Scazzero is the founder of New Life Fellowship Church in Queens, New York. He is also the founder of the Centre for Emotional Health and Spirituality, an initiative born from over 25 years of ministry experience. He is the bestselling author of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality and The Emotionally Healthy Church, books which develop his focus on emotional health in the Christian life and the Church. In this his third instalment, he turns his attention to how the principles of emotional health apply to church leadership.
The thesis behind Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy series is that a Christian cannot be spiritually mature without also being emotionally mature. The two are inseparable. Scazzero wants the reader to follow the principles he lays out for emotional health, not only so as to be transformed from within, but particular to this book’s aim, to be able to lead with an integrity and power that transforms the health of your church team and culture.
The opening two chapters describe what Scazzero is reacting against. First, his own personal and painful experience of leading his church as an emotional infant and the “conversions” he underwent to shape him into the living prototype of the book. Second, the unspoken and unholy “commandments” of the Church Growth Movement which sacrifice personal character and development in order to achieve greater external success. In both chapters Scazzero is working on the reader with probing questions and statements that seek to detect and diagnose emotional and spiritual malnutrition. If you “feel powerless” or are “not having an impact” or “too overwhelmed by work to enjoy life”, then this is the journey Scazzero says you need to take.
The “road map” Scazzero offers to help us in our journey to emotionally healthy leadership comes in two parts. He uses the image of a skyscraper to help us visualize these two parts of the book. Part One, representing the inner life, is the foundation of the skyscraper. It consists of four principles which are necessary to bear the weight of the activities of ministry: “face your shadow, lead out of your marriage/singleness, slow down for loving union [with Jesus], and practice sabbath delight.” Only when these principles become a regular and prolonged part of your inner life, will you experience emotional and spiritual transformation. We will consider Scazzero’s explanation of each of these principles in turn.
To ‘face your shadow’ means having a self-awareness of the unconscious emotions, thoughts and motives that drive your present destructive behaviours. This is achieved by acknowledging the negative “internalized message[s] from the past” in our family-of-origin which we are believing, as well as inviting constant feedback from close and trustworthy sources. In the next chapter Scazzero challenges the implied expectation from many within the church that ministry comes first and marriage or singleness is to run at its lowest functional level without causing major problems. Instead he says that our marriage or singleness is our first passion and ambition, and our loudest gospel message. Therefore, it is to be at the core of our ministry, not an added extra. The third principle, ‘slow down for loving union’ is about taking time away from the doing of ministry for more being with Jesus. In order to grow in union, that is, to “allow God to have full access to your life,” we are to engage in various practices which allow us to receive and give the love of God and discern his will. One which he recommends is the “four primary categories of Benedictine spiritual life”, namely, prayer, rest, relationships and work which divide up your time each week. In the last chapter of Part One, Scazzero encourages the reader to take a twenty-four hour period to cease labour, enjoy rest, practice delighting in creation, and contemplate God. He claims that when we do this we are taking part in a “core spiritual formation discipline” which helps us mature in Christ and resist the spiritual and secular powers that enslave us to work.
Part Two is concerned with applying the practices in Part One to the outer life of leadership because “too often we rely instead on unmodified business practices to navigate these tasks.” The four tasks of leadership which form the upward construction of the skyscraper include: “planning and decision making, culture and team building, power and wise boundaries, and endings and new beginnings.”
These headings are self-explanatory and the chapters consist of numerous maxims that prove difficult to condense into a main thought for this review.
I believe that The Emotionally Healthy Leader exhibited two particular strengths. First, Scazzero is rightly and helpfully pushing back on several tacit assumptions that characterize the dark underbelly of the Church Growth Movement. He calls out the modern obsession with quantifying growth at the expense of valuing “internal markers.” He encourages leaders to slow down their pace and prioritize relationships because our ‘being’ is more important than our ‘doing’. The people we lead are not parts in a production line, but loved members of God’s household.
Second, the book is full of practical wisdom and freestanding ideas born from many years of experience which can be plundered without necessary agreement with its general approach or some of its overriding conclusions. For example, Scazzero’s wisdom concerning a ministry succession plan is acutely aware of the dangers and gives detailed steps to prevent them. Or his insistence on openness and accountability within a staff team, so that the elephants in the room are not left unacknowledged to fester.
I believe that the biggest weakness is Scazzero’s thesis. I want to address the three parts to it in turn.
First, Scazzero’s premise that emotional wellness is indispensable to spiritual transformation. He has not proved why emotional health, more than any other faculty of our human nature, is so essential as to be inseparably bound to progress in spirituality. Still of greater concern is the subtle sidelining of Scripture in general and the gospel in particular for making his argument. I am not denying that modern psychology lacks scientific insight into human nature or that personal experience lacks credibility, but when the diagnosis and remedy make the gospel irrelevant in the area of sanctification, we should rightly be suspicious. By diagnosis I mean the shadow of unconsciously negative behaviour which Scazzero says should not be confused with sin. By remedy I am referring to Scazzero’s call for us to do introspection and past reflection on our family-of-origin. While this may be a beneficial process to commit to, Scazzero claims, using salvific language, that it will result in nothing short of a ‘transformation’, second ‘conversion’ and conformation into the image of Christ. But this is to come dangerously close to the territory and prerogative of the gospel. Paul says that it is the gospel which brings about the renewal of our mind and, therefore, transformation (Rom. 12:1-2). To look back to our childhood and within at our emotions, is a tactic of value if incorporated within the upward and outward call of the transforming nature of the gospel. But if not, as with this work, then it is profoundly man-centered. And therefore, with very little adaption, most of what Scazzero says in Part One can be practised by almost anyone. In fact, at one point in the book he even alludes to the growing trend within the corporate world of the importance of EQ as an indicator of performance. Is Scazzero in danger of unwittingly shifting our focus away from the gospel and toward the self-help “how-to’s” of pragmatism? And if so, might this not be counterintuitive to one of his main concerns that we spend less time in doing and more time in being with Jesus?
Second, Scazzero’s premise that his form of spirituality will bring about deep, Christlike change. Here I am referring mainly to the chapter ‘Slow down for loving union’, by far the most theologically troubling in the book. Scazzero is operating under a mystical understanding of spirituality. This is exhibited not just in the authors he quotes and the terminology he uses, but especially in the practices which he recommends to achieve greater union with God.
For brevity sake we will take Scazzero’s view of prayer as an example. One form is ‘silence’ by which he says “we are still before the Lord in wordless prayer.” Another is the ‘Prayer of Examen’ where we look back on our day in contemplation of “the movements of God’s Spirit within us.” We do this specifically when we “pay attention to…emotions in order to listen to God.” This is because those emotions which give us energy, peace and solace are those that “connect us more deeply with God.” And those which drain us such as sorrow and apathy do the opposite. Scazzero calls this ability to listen for God in our emotions the “cornerstone for…discernment of God’s will.”
Not only does this approach to prayer twist Scriptures parameters to prayer as a worded response to God’s revelation in the Bible, but it undermines the sufficiency of the Bible to reveal God. It shifts the location of revelation from the Word incarnate revealed in the written Word, to the inner life of the believer. We should not put a premium on positive feelings for the assurance of God’s presence, not only because we live by faith in the more certain promises of God’s abiding presence, but also because we will despise God in our sorrows and be left vulnerable to the vicissitudes of life. Contrary to Scazzero, we are spiritually mature when we remain anchored by faith to God’s promises in the face of fluctuating feelings.
But most troubling of all is the order of practices first, union with God second, and discerning God’s will as the end result. True gospel spirituality reverses the direction. It is God's will that we are united to Christ (Rom. 6:1-13) and out of that union we exercise practices that are Word-commissioned and Word-centered in order to enjoy greater communion with God as an end in itself (Phil. 3:9-10; Jn. 17:3). The end is never a pragmatic spin-off, as noble as better discerning God’s will sounds.
Third, Scazzero’s final stage in the thesis is dependent on the first two being true. Scazzero insists that “emotionally healthy spiritually” is “the key way we [his church] would reach the world for Christ.” This is Scazzero’s Great Commission. Given what we’ve observed above, it is questionable as to whether the outer life of the church, staff team and world can really be deeply and permanently changed by this approach. If the gospel is the driving force behind all real change, and this has been at best assumed and at worst replaced, then whatever impact is felt in the leader or the church, it is on a more superficial level of technique and practice.
There are two other more minor weaknesses. First, the majority of Scazzero’s use of Scripture was by example. He operated under the assumption that the descriptions were always prescriptive, so that every experience a biblical character underwent is automatically a binding instruction or expectation for Christians today. Second, at 328 pages the book was far longer than it needed to be, especially because of the copious hypothetical and real life examples that accompanied every principle.
Nevertheless, I believe the book has pragmatic wisdom for the discerning reader to benefit from, particularly in the second half of the book. Scazzero’s style is simple and clear, his structure is easy to follow and his chapters are logically and uniformly arranged.
The thesis behind Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy series is that a Christian cannot be spiritually mature without also being emotionally mature. The two are inseparable. Scazzero wants the reader to follow the principles he lays out for emotional health, not only so as to be transformed from within, but particular to this book’s aim, to be able to lead with an integrity and power that transforms the health of your church team and culture.
The opening two chapters describe what Scazzero is reacting against. First, his own personal and painful experience of leading his church as an emotional infant and the “conversions” he underwent to shape him into the living prototype of the book. Second, the unspoken and unholy “commandments” of the Church Growth Movement which sacrifice personal character and development in order to achieve greater external success. In both chapters Scazzero is working on the reader with probing questions and statements that seek to detect and diagnose emotional and spiritual malnutrition. If you “feel powerless” or are “not having an impact” or “too overwhelmed by work to enjoy life”, then this is the journey Scazzero says you need to take.
The “road map” Scazzero offers to help us in our journey to emotionally healthy leadership comes in two parts. He uses the image of a skyscraper to help us visualize these two parts of the book. Part One, representing the inner life, is the foundation of the skyscraper. It consists of four principles which are necessary to bear the weight of the activities of ministry: “face your shadow, lead out of your marriage/singleness, slow down for loving union [with Jesus], and practice sabbath delight.” Only when these principles become a regular and prolonged part of your inner life, will you experience emotional and spiritual transformation. We will consider Scazzero’s explanation of each of these principles in turn.
To ‘face your shadow’ means having a self-awareness of the unconscious emotions, thoughts and motives that drive your present destructive behaviours. This is achieved by acknowledging the negative “internalized message[s] from the past” in our family-of-origin which we are believing, as well as inviting constant feedback from close and trustworthy sources. In the next chapter Scazzero challenges the implied expectation from many within the church that ministry comes first and marriage or singleness is to run at its lowest functional level without causing major problems. Instead he says that our marriage or singleness is our first passion and ambition, and our loudest gospel message. Therefore, it is to be at the core of our ministry, not an added extra. The third principle, ‘slow down for loving union’ is about taking time away from the doing of ministry for more being with Jesus. In order to grow in union, that is, to “allow God to have full access to your life,” we are to engage in various practices which allow us to receive and give the love of God and discern his will. One which he recommends is the “four primary categories of Benedictine spiritual life”, namely, prayer, rest, relationships and work which divide up your time each week. In the last chapter of Part One, Scazzero encourages the reader to take a twenty-four hour period to cease labour, enjoy rest, practice delighting in creation, and contemplate God. He claims that when we do this we are taking part in a “core spiritual formation discipline” which helps us mature in Christ and resist the spiritual and secular powers that enslave us to work.
Part Two is concerned with applying the practices in Part One to the outer life of leadership because “too often we rely instead on unmodified business practices to navigate these tasks.” The four tasks of leadership which form the upward construction of the skyscraper include: “planning and decision making, culture and team building, power and wise boundaries, and endings and new beginnings.”
These headings are self-explanatory and the chapters consist of numerous maxims that prove difficult to condense into a main thought for this review.
I believe that The Emotionally Healthy Leader exhibited two particular strengths. First, Scazzero is rightly and helpfully pushing back on several tacit assumptions that characterize the dark underbelly of the Church Growth Movement. He calls out the modern obsession with quantifying growth at the expense of valuing “internal markers.” He encourages leaders to slow down their pace and prioritize relationships because our ‘being’ is more important than our ‘doing’. The people we lead are not parts in a production line, but loved members of God’s household.
Second, the book is full of practical wisdom and freestanding ideas born from many years of experience which can be plundered without necessary agreement with its general approach or some of its overriding conclusions. For example, Scazzero’s wisdom concerning a ministry succession plan is acutely aware of the dangers and gives detailed steps to prevent them. Or his insistence on openness and accountability within a staff team, so that the elephants in the room are not left unacknowledged to fester.
I believe that the biggest weakness is Scazzero’s thesis. I want to address the three parts to it in turn.
First, Scazzero’s premise that emotional wellness is indispensable to spiritual transformation. He has not proved why emotional health, more than any other faculty of our human nature, is so essential as to be inseparably bound to progress in spirituality. Still of greater concern is the subtle sidelining of Scripture in general and the gospel in particular for making his argument. I am not denying that modern psychology lacks scientific insight into human nature or that personal experience lacks credibility, but when the diagnosis and remedy make the gospel irrelevant in the area of sanctification, we should rightly be suspicious. By diagnosis I mean the shadow of unconsciously negative behaviour which Scazzero says should not be confused with sin. By remedy I am referring to Scazzero’s call for us to do introspection and past reflection on our family-of-origin. While this may be a beneficial process to commit to, Scazzero claims, using salvific language, that it will result in nothing short of a ‘transformation’, second ‘conversion’ and conformation into the image of Christ. But this is to come dangerously close to the territory and prerogative of the gospel. Paul says that it is the gospel which brings about the renewal of our mind and, therefore, transformation (Rom. 12:1-2). To look back to our childhood and within at our emotions, is a tactic of value if incorporated within the upward and outward call of the transforming nature of the gospel. But if not, as with this work, then it is profoundly man-centered. And therefore, with very little adaption, most of what Scazzero says in Part One can be practised by almost anyone. In fact, at one point in the book he even alludes to the growing trend within the corporate world of the importance of EQ as an indicator of performance. Is Scazzero in danger of unwittingly shifting our focus away from the gospel and toward the self-help “how-to’s” of pragmatism? And if so, might this not be counterintuitive to one of his main concerns that we spend less time in doing and more time in being with Jesus?
Second, Scazzero’s premise that his form of spirituality will bring about deep, Christlike change. Here I am referring mainly to the chapter ‘Slow down for loving union’, by far the most theologically troubling in the book. Scazzero is operating under a mystical understanding of spirituality. This is exhibited not just in the authors he quotes and the terminology he uses, but especially in the practices which he recommends to achieve greater union with God.
For brevity sake we will take Scazzero’s view of prayer as an example. One form is ‘silence’ by which he says “we are still before the Lord in wordless prayer.” Another is the ‘Prayer of Examen’ where we look back on our day in contemplation of “the movements of God’s Spirit within us.” We do this specifically when we “pay attention to…emotions in order to listen to God.” This is because those emotions which give us energy, peace and solace are those that “connect us more deeply with God.” And those which drain us such as sorrow and apathy do the opposite. Scazzero calls this ability to listen for God in our emotions the “cornerstone for…discernment of God’s will.”
Not only does this approach to prayer twist Scriptures parameters to prayer as a worded response to God’s revelation in the Bible, but it undermines the sufficiency of the Bible to reveal God. It shifts the location of revelation from the Word incarnate revealed in the written Word, to the inner life of the believer. We should not put a premium on positive feelings for the assurance of God’s presence, not only because we live by faith in the more certain promises of God’s abiding presence, but also because we will despise God in our sorrows and be left vulnerable to the vicissitudes of life. Contrary to Scazzero, we are spiritually mature when we remain anchored by faith to God’s promises in the face of fluctuating feelings.
But most troubling of all is the order of practices first, union with God second, and discerning God’s will as the end result. True gospel spirituality reverses the direction. It is God's will that we are united to Christ (Rom. 6:1-13) and out of that union we exercise practices that are Word-commissioned and Word-centered in order to enjoy greater communion with God as an end in itself (Phil. 3:9-10; Jn. 17:3). The end is never a pragmatic spin-off, as noble as better discerning God’s will sounds.
Third, Scazzero’s final stage in the thesis is dependent on the first two being true. Scazzero insists that “emotionally healthy spiritually” is “the key way we [his church] would reach the world for Christ.” This is Scazzero’s Great Commission. Given what we’ve observed above, it is questionable as to whether the outer life of the church, staff team and world can really be deeply and permanently changed by this approach. If the gospel is the driving force behind all real change, and this has been at best assumed and at worst replaced, then whatever impact is felt in the leader or the church, it is on a more superficial level of technique and practice.
There are two other more minor weaknesses. First, the majority of Scazzero’s use of Scripture was by example. He operated under the assumption that the descriptions were always prescriptive, so that every experience a biblical character underwent is automatically a binding instruction or expectation for Christians today. Second, at 328 pages the book was far longer than it needed to be, especially because of the copious hypothetical and real life examples that accompanied every principle.
Nevertheless, I believe the book has pragmatic wisdom for the discerning reader to benefit from, particularly in the second half of the book. Scazzero’s style is simple and clear, his structure is easy to follow and his chapters are logically and uniformly arranged.
June 7, 2023
This is a really helpful resource for leaders in the church! I found the most applicable content in part one “the inner life” which focused a lot of the spiritual and emotional health of our private lives while part two extended this out to more practical ministry context. Much of this section didn’t apply to my ministry or personal experiences but were still interesting. While I don’t agree with everything he says it is certainly worth a read!
November 28, 2025
It was 6:30am as I gazed at the moon, praying as I floated in the warm, outdoor pool. I had flown to Orlando for Exponential '25; I was looking to be equipped for ministry and empowered in my faith. Yet my heart was elsewhere. After a workshop with Will Chung, I really felt like God was telling me to chill out and stop grinding so much. I was burnt out with Barak Project, which led to lower quality output. It also made me (in my POV) emotionally unavailable for my girlfriend whom I really desired to be with. So I prayed a lot, purchased this book, flew home, and spent the next few months learning about emotionally healthy spirituality (EHS)... My spiritual formation was altered! I did a lot of deep inner work and introspection with God. Chapter after chapter felt like direct responses to the spiritual, leadership, and life questions I was asking! Looking back at this year, I'm grateful I loosened up; slowed down; prayed more and invited God into Barak Project and important life decisions; and spent more time with my girl.
However, recently I've been tarrying in the secret place again. In this process of slowing down all year, only now have I realized that I may have went too far in "enjoying myself." I think that's ok, cause I learned and experienced a lot. It just goes to show this book's deeply layered principles, that I continue to reflect on and apply these ideas in increasingly complex and relevant ways. And shoutout to my boys at Society and what God's been doing in our hearts. My fire and discipline is returning after a spiritually muddy season, and I'm excited to continue to apply EHS in new ways for the coming year.
Highly recommend this book to any leaders, 10/10, this will change a lot of things and answer almost every question you're probably wondering about like: "I'm doing my best, why am I not making an impact? How do I manage everything? I feel so overwhelmed that I can't even enjoy life." Scazzero covers topics like: shadow work, leading out of your singleness/marriage, slowing down for loving union with Jesus, practicing Sabbath, planning, decision making, team building, setting boundaries, navigating dual relationships, exercising power, and embracing endings for new beginnings.
However, recently I've been tarrying in the secret place again. In this process of slowing down all year, only now have I realized that I may have went too far in "enjoying myself." I think that's ok, cause I learned and experienced a lot. It just goes to show this book's deeply layered principles, that I continue to reflect on and apply these ideas in increasingly complex and relevant ways. And shoutout to my boys at Society and what God's been doing in our hearts. My fire and discipline is returning after a spiritually muddy season, and I'm excited to continue to apply EHS in new ways for the coming year.
Highly recommend this book to any leaders, 10/10, this will change a lot of things and answer almost every question you're probably wondering about like: "I'm doing my best, why am I not making an impact? How do I manage everything? I feel so overwhelmed that I can't even enjoy life." Scazzero covers topics like: shadow work, leading out of your singleness/marriage, slowing down for loving union with Jesus, practicing Sabbath, planning, decision making, team building, setting boundaries, navigating dual relationships, exercising power, and embracing endings for new beginnings.
July 11, 2023
No words can express the power and freedom this book holds. It was borrowed from me for awhile so I couldn’t finish it in a timely fashion, but it is definitely a book I will come back to time and time again. It is relevant for seasons of change, growth, grief, and anticipation.
May 23, 2024
3.5 stars only because of the context I was reading. Read this with my KLIFE coworker and it brought up tons of good and healthy convictions and conversations about leadership! Each chapter seemed very timely in the season we are in too and that is all the Lord.
I gave it 3.5 because there are a lot of church applications and contexts that dont necessarily apply to a para-church ministry, however we still gleaned a ton of wisdom from this book! I recommend for young leaders in ministry!!!
I gave it 3.5 because there are a lot of church applications and contexts that dont necessarily apply to a para-church ministry, however we still gleaned a ton of wisdom from this book! I recommend for young leaders in ministry!!!
October 25, 2021
Excellent read and should be required reading for all leaders especially in the church!!!
My husband bought a hard copy and I’m excited to study and have more discussion on this!
How I respond in situations says so much about my inner health as a person. How I interact with others and push myself to do it all speaks volumes about where I’m at! So many tools for being a healthier person and making it sustainable for life.
We are doing kingdom and eternal work, so why not learn how to make it the most effective that will last my entire life?!?!
Definitely going to study this book more, but I want to learn to lead out of my marriage, be able to identify weaknesses with humility, practice true Sabbath, and work with others in such a way that leads us all to Jesus in true relationship!
I don’t agree with all his illustrations or ministry philosophies as he is nondenominational, etc.
But SO. MUCH. WISDOM. is shared through all his experience. ❤️
My husband bought a hard copy and I’m excited to study and have more discussion on this!
How I respond in situations says so much about my inner health as a person. How I interact with others and push myself to do it all speaks volumes about where I’m at! So many tools for being a healthier person and making it sustainable for life.
We are doing kingdom and eternal work, so why not learn how to make it the most effective that will last my entire life?!?!
Definitely going to study this book more, but I want to learn to lead out of my marriage, be able to identify weaknesses with humility, practice true Sabbath, and work with others in such a way that leads us all to Jesus in true relationship!
I don’t agree with all his illustrations or ministry philosophies as he is nondenominational, etc.
But SO. MUCH. WISDOM. is shared through all his experience. ❤️
June 10, 2020
I read Scazzero's "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" about 8 years ago, near the beginning of my transition into vocational ministry. I liked it, but for some reason (probably inexperience/immaturity) it did not resonate with me on a deep level. When I was encouraged to read the "Emotionally Healthy Leader," I wondered if I would have the same experience.
This book blew me away. I loved, loved, loved it.
Perhaps this is because I'm in a radically different life stage - I've been through significant leadership failures and emotional crises in ministry. Or perhaps it's a better, more reflective book? Or, most likely, some combination of those two factors. In any case, I now consider this book 'essential reading' for anyone who wants to be a healthy ministry leader.
First, the book is extremely enjoyable to read, in terms of style. Scazzero distills much wisdom and research into approachable syntheses, and the book is full of gripping anecdotes and illustrations. Many of them, in fact, are so relatable that I was either cringing or emotionally reacting while reading them, because they are so relatable.
Second, the book is a treasure chest of practical resources. Most chapters include an extremely thoughtful and simple self-assessment. I usually skip those types of resources in books like this, but instead I found myself slowly pondering each of them - I intentionally didn't fill them out because I intend to use them as ongoing, regular tools for examining my own growth and weak spots as a leader. They're that helpful!
Third, Scazzero truly draws from a deep well of spiritual, organizational, psychological and therapeutic sources. If you are familiar with things like "family systems theory," you can see it all over his writing, but he doesn't employ technical terms and jargon. Instead, Scazzero pulls out and synthesizes the fundamental and simplest insights for the reader, so they can be applied to his/her context without getting tripped up on becoming an expert. It's refreshing, practical, and helpful.
I deeply loved this book, and will be returning to it in the upcoming years as I lean into my development and growth as a minister. I highly, highly recommend it for anyone in Christian ministry leadership.
This book blew me away. I loved, loved, loved it.
Perhaps this is because I'm in a radically different life stage - I've been through significant leadership failures and emotional crises in ministry. Or perhaps it's a better, more reflective book? Or, most likely, some combination of those two factors. In any case, I now consider this book 'essential reading' for anyone who wants to be a healthy ministry leader.
First, the book is extremely enjoyable to read, in terms of style. Scazzero distills much wisdom and research into approachable syntheses, and the book is full of gripping anecdotes and illustrations. Many of them, in fact, are so relatable that I was either cringing or emotionally reacting while reading them, because they are so relatable.
Second, the book is a treasure chest of practical resources. Most chapters include an extremely thoughtful and simple self-assessment. I usually skip those types of resources in books like this, but instead I found myself slowly pondering each of them - I intentionally didn't fill them out because I intend to use them as ongoing, regular tools for examining my own growth and weak spots as a leader. They're that helpful!
Third, Scazzero truly draws from a deep well of spiritual, organizational, psychological and therapeutic sources. If you are familiar with things like "family systems theory," you can see it all over his writing, but he doesn't employ technical terms and jargon. Instead, Scazzero pulls out and synthesizes the fundamental and simplest insights for the reader, so they can be applied to his/her context without getting tripped up on becoming an expert. It's refreshing, practical, and helpful.
I deeply loved this book, and will be returning to it in the upcoming years as I lean into my development and growth as a minister. I highly, highly recommend it for anyone in Christian ministry leadership.
March 22, 2024
I liked this book overall. It wasn't life-changing or anything, but there are a lot of good insights. I think this will be a helpful book to have on the shelf as a resource for reflection in life and especially in the various components of ministry.
And: perhaps it would be life-changing if you take the time to reflect and journal on alllllll the questions and evaluations presented by this book. I was just tryna read it and reflect a little bit, not pore over my entire soul LOL but I could see how doing that might be beneficial.
Worth the read!
And: perhaps it would be life-changing if you take the time to reflect and journal on alllllll the questions and evaluations presented by this book. I was just tryna read it and reflect a little bit, not pore over my entire soul LOL but I could see how doing that might be beneficial.
Worth the read!
December 9, 2025
Did not realize this was kind of written to pastors, so please feel free to come to me for all your church leadership needs 😎
God is not in a rush. He often moves more slowly than the timetable I have for my goals. In fact, I often discover He has different goals.
For example, Jesus’ stunning success in teaching and feeding the 5,000 at the beginning of John 6 is followed just a few paragraphs later by a corresponding numerical failure: “At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him” (John 6:66). Jesus didn’t wring his hands and question his preaching strategy; he remained content, knowing he was in the Father’s will. He had a larger perspective on what God was doing. Success isn’t always bigger and better.
We lead more out of who we are than out of what we do, strategic or otherwise. If we fail to recognize that who we are on the inside informs every aspect of our leadership, we will do damage to ourselves and to those we lead.
God is not in a rush. He often moves more slowly than the timetable I have for my goals. In fact, I often discover He has different goals.
For example, Jesus’ stunning success in teaching and feeding the 5,000 at the beginning of John 6 is followed just a few paragraphs later by a corresponding numerical failure: “At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him” (John 6:66). Jesus didn’t wring his hands and question his preaching strategy; he remained content, knowing he was in the Father’s will. He had a larger perspective on what God was doing. Success isn’t always bigger and better.
We lead more out of who we are than out of what we do, strategic or otherwise. If we fail to recognize that who we are on the inside informs every aspect of our leadership, we will do damage to ourselves and to those we lead.
January 16, 2025
This was my second read, and I loved it even more than the first time! I have done a lot of work in spiritual formation since I first read this book, so coming back to it was a beautiful testimony of God‘s growth in my life over the past six or seven years. The structure of the inner and outer life as a leader was great, and I will definitely pull this book off the shelf again sooner rather than later!
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July 19, 2023This is my second time to read this book. What a journey it allowed me to go on. Lots of reflection, contemplation, and evaluation at both my inner-life and outer-life.
I’ll be reading this again this Fall for one of my seminary classes. I can’t wait to see what will be new for me during the third read!
I’ll be reading this again this Fall for one of my seminary classes. I can’t wait to see what will be new for me during the third read!
August 17, 2024
Really great. Four stars probs just cause the chapters were so long it felt never ending. Also wish I would’ve read it alongside others & gone through the extra activities together, I think that would’ve made the book much more transformative.
April 25, 2021
Buen libro con excelentes aplicaciones y puntos para pensar dirigido a líderes en cualquier nivel. Explica el sistema que usa el autor; saca principios, algunos ejemplos no son aplicables para todas las personas pero te pueden dar ideas. Excelente para estudiar y conversar con tu equipo.
March 18, 2021
An excellent book, better than Scazzero's earlier Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. This book, written much later, is better written, more grounded in Scripture, and reflects deep, hard won wisdom and spiritual maturity.
December 4, 2024
I recommend this to anyone who’s a Christian and think this is a must for anyone going into ministry. There’s so much gold in here. I definitely feel like I understand the good and bad parts of myself better and how those things play into how I interact with people. The Lord used this book to convict me of so many ways I seek to build my kingdom of one instead of pointing people to Christ. If you’re honest while reading this, you’ll see how unhealthy you are in life, but we have hope in the one who can change and grow us.
January 16, 2022
A refreshing book on leadership. Not a lot of entirely new things, but I liked how the author kept the first things first, and focused on heart things throughout. The use of personal examples throughout helped a lot, as well as the questionnaires.
Leadership is less about us than we’d like to think, as God doesn’t really need us—but chooses to use us. So it’s really a lot about focusing on quality vs quantity—something I’m not very good at.
Leadership is less about us than we’d like to think, as God doesn’t really need us—but chooses to use us. So it’s really a lot about focusing on quality vs quantity—something I’m not very good at.
June 30, 2023
Such a timely resource for me. Despite our leadership and personal mistakes, God is loving, good, and showers his grace on those who love him. So thankful for Pete’s vulnerability through his ministry fails, successes, stories. I always tell my disciples that we are “scrubs that serve a good God,” and Pete filled that definition. (😁)
March 21, 2020
This book will take you into the Cave, and help you understand why you keep doing some of the stpid stuff you do, and help you find a way out. It is really strong on personal spiritual care. I love his priorities regarding spiritual leaders in his church.
Probably a reread, and with a print copy, and not Audible (which is how I read it).
Probably a reread, and with a print copy, and not Audible (which is how I read it).
June 22, 2023
Picked up the book and then immediately put it down for 3 weeks because it resonated and I wasn't ready to hear it. Finally finished it.
Bought the print so I can truly work through it.
This will take me a few years to get it right but man--eye opening.
Bought the print so I can truly work through it.
This will take me a few years to get it right but man--eye opening.
August 24, 2022
This book challenged, encouraged and convicted me on every page. Peter Scazzero is such a gift to the global church. I’ll be pondering this book and reviewing it regularly.
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September 21, 2025So so helpful. I love looking at life as one long ministry. I am a big fan of Peter Scazzero
December 4, 2025
A must read!
February 27, 2025
can’t cap about this…never have i ever felt more like a punching bag - but a good kind of punching bag??
wow. couldn’t read more than 5 pages at a time because the content is so eye-opening/thought-provoking/convicting. leaving with a new understanding of God and plentyyyy of deep-rooted action items. highly recommend, but don’t forget your seatbelt
wow. couldn’t read more than 5 pages at a time because the content is so eye-opening/thought-provoking/convicting. leaving with a new understanding of God and plentyyyy of deep-rooted action items. highly recommend, but don’t forget your seatbelt
September 29, 2025
This is an amazing book. Everyone in leadership at any level should read this. I also loved that he includes women as leaders and that he devotes time to talk about singleness and leadership.
October 19, 2024
I can’t think of many church leadership books as helpful as this one.
May 3, 2024
A really great insight in to a lot of great leadership areas.
I'd say it's a must read for any leader if for no other reason than the sections on conflict management and the impact poor leadership and course Correction can have on an entire group.
I'd say it's a must read for any leader if for no other reason than the sections on conflict management and the impact poor leadership and course Correction can have on an entire group.
November 24, 2019
There is a spectrum for how I read books ranging from a fast read to a slow intermittent read. Some reasons for fast reads include easy to digest fiction, less pages, or easy to skim and still get its ideas. Some reasons for slow reads include a totally new concept, highly technical, or requires a lot of meditation. The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Peter Scazzero was a slow read for me because it required a lot of meditation. It covers both theology and practice with a lot of illustration. Typically I could read a book like this much faster; however, I think it touched on many areas that I need to consider.
The Emotionally Healthy Leader is unlike any book on leadership I have read. I am still considering the reasons that set it apart from others. I think perhaps the biggest overall reason is that it starts with relationships as the core from which everything else flows out of. Almost any good leadership book is going to deal with relationships in some form. Yet, I think most other books treat relationship as an aspect along with many other aspects.
Scazzero looks at your core relationships with God and with your spouse or your key relationships as a single person. He uses these core relationships to define a life rhythm. I don't think I have read another book that deals with this extensively. Instead a few words, paragraphs, and maybe even a chapter are given to this. Yet, the leadership culture that we step into these days will quickly put the squeeze on these foundational relationships. This is expected and "goes along with the territory" in our minds. We think part of leading is to learn balance and tradeoffs without sacrificing our families. There is truth to this thinking, but it seems it doesn't quite give us the answers we need. Peter Scazzero extensively lays out a healthier way of leading by explaining how our core relationships are our starting point that define what we can do as a leader.
Several others have pointed out some of the theological concerns with this book. I do not mean to give it a total endorsement; however, I am very thankful for the major themes.
The Emotionally Healthy Leader is unlike any book on leadership I have read. I am still considering the reasons that set it apart from others. I think perhaps the biggest overall reason is that it starts with relationships as the core from which everything else flows out of. Almost any good leadership book is going to deal with relationships in some form. Yet, I think most other books treat relationship as an aspect along with many other aspects.
Scazzero looks at your core relationships with God and with your spouse or your key relationships as a single person. He uses these core relationships to define a life rhythm. I don't think I have read another book that deals with this extensively. Instead a few words, paragraphs, and maybe even a chapter are given to this. Yet, the leadership culture that we step into these days will quickly put the squeeze on these foundational relationships. This is expected and "goes along with the territory" in our minds. We think part of leading is to learn balance and tradeoffs without sacrificing our families. There is truth to this thinking, but it seems it doesn't quite give us the answers we need. Peter Scazzero extensively lays out a healthier way of leading by explaining how our core relationships are our starting point that define what we can do as a leader.
Several others have pointed out some of the theological concerns with this book. I do not mean to give it a total endorsement; however, I am very thankful for the major themes.
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