My son is probably gay, Vol. 3

うちの息子はたぶんゲイ [Uchi no Musuko wa Tabun Gay] #3

by Okura, Alice Settembrini (Translator)

Il signor Aoyama è tornato a casa e, parlando del più e del meno con i familiari, se ne esce con frasi “ingenuamente” poco delicate verso le persone omosessuali. Sua moglie cerca di mediare come può, aspettando pazientemente il momento in cui Hiroki e suo padre saranno pronti a confrontarsi apertamente sul tema...

Genres: Manga, LGBT, Queer, Graphic Novels, Comics, Young Adult, Contemporary

136 pages, Paperback

First published November 21, 2020

About the author

Okura (おくら) is a Japanese mangaka.

Reviews

[Hugo #freepalestine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This one made me realize something-
Being gay in a less progressive country is more acceptable if both men are handsome so they can fethisize you...
I don't like how one of the gay characters being treated as some kind of anomaly by his coworkers they keep asking him some unruly questions, that personally made me uncomfortable but I guess that's the realistic part of it, people are being ignorant without knowing it's bad they just assumed things.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciate the real-capture of this true gay son - his own inner denial yet still an outgoing, highly trustworthy nice guy that absolutely everyone likes having around.

Parents spot these obvious signs:
- Seeing him like songs with gay lyrics in them
- Swiveling his head toward a boy walking not too far away
- Joining the same club as his friend (boy)
- Jealous when that friend is liked by others
- Overreacting when some of these gaydar hits are pointed out by his Mom
- Getting his (boy) friend to help with music, when neighbor daughter offered (and even your Mom can tell she is crushing on you)
- Suggesting his younger bro get his hair cut like his (boy) friend, and even his younger bro calls him out on this suggestion
- He believes his (boy) friend's 'off' opinion of his singing, over his girl neighbor's 'positive' judgement

It is good to see how Mom is spotting everything (don't they always!).

Dad is cool, but has some stereotype ideas (gay = fairy or feminine) since he doesn't think he knows anyone gay (including his own son).

Once a gay friend/co-worker is discovered, it is amazing how nicely they can help answer respectful questions about their lifestyle.

It is good to see Mom gently explain Dad's accidental bully-language and points him in a direction to help him see his son's liking of boys is fine and normal. (But Dad is still fumbling...)

This is a GREAT positive series.

Onward to Vol 4!

5*

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the mom so much! I can't wait to read more of this and see more of this awesome mom and her cute kids who deserve the whole world!

[Maia · Rating 4 out of 5]

The cast of characters is slowly expanding! A neighbor, who probably has a crush on her gay son Hiroki, starts at Hiroki's high school. I like that we are starting to learn more about Hiroki's younger brother Yuri, who at the moment reads like a very aro-ace character. The main tension point is Tomoko's husband, who has some really basic homophobic beliefs and occasionally says shitty things without seeming to realize they might be hurtful. Tomoko is more patient with him that I would be.

[Grapie Deltaco · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish the mom knew that she can make statements showing support for gay people (especially after establishing that she’s cool with her gay coworker) instead of leaving the husband to undo all of his homophobia by himself with zero guidance. You can say it’s wrong to call gay people favorites or to stereotype them and there would be no way that that risks outing your son.

I understand she’s still learning herself but this installment has to be the most frustrating so far.

CW: homophobia, bullying

[Remxo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hiroki's mum is a saint!

[ryan wilkey · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a third volume in the series, it continues in the same format as the previous two with anecdotal moments where Hiroki’s sexuality comes into question. I love seeing his journey (heck, I’m quite envious of it). However…

Hiroki’s father, Akiyoshi, infuriates me sometimes! I’m also really upset with how Hiroki’s mom, Tomoko, handles a particular situation. I like how she calls Akiyoshi’s name when he steps out of line, but she needs to have a deeper conversation with her husband!

MOST DISLIKED QUESTIONS: “Is there a girl you like?” “Do you have a girlfriend yet?”

PARENTS—NEVER DO THIS!

I really think Akiyoshi will be fine when Hiroki comes out, and we know Tomoko will be.

But for the love of god, to all human beings that want to have kids: don’t have kids unless you are prepared for them to live their lives in any way, shape, or form that they choose in life.

On a side-note, Yuri is my favorite in this volume! I love this kid!

[Rod Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another gentle slice-of-life volume with the mother who thinks her son is gay. Her son joins a school choir to be close to the boy he has a crush on unaware that the girl next door has done the same to be close to him. Super low-key hijinks ensue. It's cute and amusing.

As always, the shadow looming over this series is the father with his casual homophobia. Fortunately, the mom is pushing back against that crap harder every volume.

[Met · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ogni volume mi commuove e mi fa ridere. Troppo vero, troppo realistico che quasi non ci credo esista come manga! E devo anche iniziare ad accettare che il 4 sarà l'ultimo numero. Ma si può?!

[Elizabeth A · Rating 4 out of 5]

Translated from the Japanese by Leighann Harvey.

This is my fave of this YA Manga series to date. New characters have been added to the mix, and we get more insight into Yuri's experiences. The tension in the house introduced when Dad comes home is counter-balanced by Mom. Plan on reading the rest of this Manga as soon as my library holds arrive.

Ratings for Okura books
I Think Our Son Is Gay, Vol. 1 = 3
I Think Our Son Is Gay, Vol. 2 = 3
I Think Our Son Is Gay, Vol. 3 = 4
I Think Our Son Is Gay, Vol. 4 = TBD
I Think Our Son Is Gay, Vol. 5 = TBD

[Parris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartwarming as always. I really resonated with the talk about how when boys hang around too many girls in school, they're called gay, but then when they hang around too many boys later on, they're... called gay. There is so much gendered language and gendered expectations in everyday life, and it's so important to be able to realize how careless words can really affect someone. This book/series, through the perspective of the mother, just points out these things so naturally and earnestly, it's really nice.

[Marte · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actual rating: 3.75 ★

[Niki.reads.rainbow · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a heartwarming story. The mum is the best. Yuri, the little brother, is always watching out for his brother.

The dad is kind of a typical jock, but I like how the mum is always making him rethink about his opinions about gays, and what is, and is not manly stuff. He loves his kids, but he has stereotypical opinions, but I like that his family is making him question them.

I can't wait for the next volume.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the first half of this is same old, same old (which is still pretty darn good), the latter begins to dig into homophobia and Mrs. Aoyama's concerns about how her son will be treated by the world at large and his own father when and if he comes out. It's an important conversation, and Okura does an excellent job between Mr. Aoyama's casually cruel comments and the way coworkers react to learning that one of their own is gay.

[Guilherme Smee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Continuando a leitura deste mangá divertido, que faz pensar, que toca bastante pessoas que se identificam como homens gays. Dizem que "toda mãe sabe" quando o sei filho é gay. Esta série se passa, em grande parte, dentro da mente da mãe do protagonista, que desconfia que ele é homossexual. Em todo o quadrinho, pelo menos até este terceiro volume, temos pequenas historinhas, de no máximo dez páginas cada, contando situações cotidianas que levam a mãe a se questionar sobre a sexualidade de seu filho. Enquanto que o pai se revela um belo homofóbico. Uma passagem interessante deste volume é uma fala da colega da mãe, uma que gosta de mangás boys love. Para ela, o que quer ver nesses trabalhos não são homens gays se pegando, mas homens heteros que sentem atração por outros homens heterossexuais se pegando. Entendeu? Pois é. Uma linha tênue entre mangás boy love feitos para mulheres o mangás gays, como este, que tem a realidade como tema principal e não uma fantasia sexual. Por isso este mangá é muito melhor que os boys love.

[orihime · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this series so damn much. It has the perfect balance of light hearted slice of life everyday shenanigans while simultaneously digging into gender norms, homophobia, fetishization of queer people.
Anyways, I absolutely adore the mother and the little brother and ngl I'm green with envy of our mc.

[Paulette · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is ultimately a lighthearted and family-friendly LGBTQIAP series, but it’s still radical in its own way. I’m glad it doesn’t stray away from Akiyoshi’s internalized homophobia, because that’s a reality in Japan, which, once again, is a very conservative country. I’m glad it even called out Tomoko’s coworker, who loves BL, but was slightly disappointed with the reality of real life gays who are (surprise) extremely normals.

I adore this series, and I can’t wait for the next volume!

[Fny · Rating 5 out of 5]

The this whole series is like a warm cozy blanket on a cold autumn day. It’s so wholesome & sweet. I can’t wait to read more of it. The format with its episode anecdotes really works for this story and I’m here for it. I’m kinda irritated about the dad but I hope he’ll learn with time. Mu fave character apart from the mum, Tomoko and the son Hiroki, is Yulri the little brother. He’s such a insightful and well rounded character.

[Tiny Elf Arcanist · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love how it defies gender roles. It portrays homophobia while tackling the romanticization of gay relationships and stereotypes of gay men.

Still, the general vibes are super wholesome. I just wish Mom wasn't as soft and intervened on her husband's homophobic remarks.

If people are quick to make a joke of being gay then I think I can understand why our son always does everything he can to hide it.

It's probably anything but a joke to him.

[Austin Shay · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this mother! She literally had a meltdown that she might not be a good mom to her possible gay son. I can’t wait to see how this journey ends and can honestly say that this is completely wholesome.

[Brandee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Continuing the series very well! Love Okura's writing and the art work in this series. I will say that there is a lot of discussion in this book about what it means to be "normal" or appear normal. At one point Hiroki says something like "so if I hang around girls, I am a homo but if I don't have a girl friend, I'm a fairy?" And I felt that this really hit home and explained the double standard that many children are feeling in this world today. For those who are concerned with how society is judging them, this double standard is so hard to navigate. Curious to see what the next two books bring :)


uly 27, 2024 – page 13
10.16% "The mom is so wise and I wish she would share some of these little life lessons with her son."
July 27, 2024 – page 21
16.41% "Asumi is so adorable. And I have totally been there, crushing on guy who had a crush on another boy in our grade. I love that the mom just wants them to be happy."
July 27, 2024 – page 41
32.03% "Wow. The younger brother really knows his stuff. And he really seems to want his brother to be happy . I just wish they could sit down the three of them and just let it all out so he knows just how amazing his family is and how much they believe and love him."
July 27, 2024 – page 60
46.88% "Maybe Hiroki needs to spend some time with Mr. Toro. Maybe that is a role model that would be good for him to have..."
July 27, 2024 – page 68
53.13% "I hate this father!! So clear why his son is afraid to be who he is. He knows his father will disapprove. Never wanted to slap a character more!"
July 27, 2024 – page 84
65.63% "They are such a cute couple. They should just make it official. Hiroki knows how to make others feel good and positive but he puts himself down. But Daigo always speaks the truth and holds Hiroki back up. Just so adorable and genuine!"
July 27, 2024 – page 88
68.75% "Again! Say it out loud to him!! "If Hiroki happens to think that being gay might be one of his bad qualities, I really want to tell him that I'd have to disagree""
July 28, 2024 – page 98
76.56% "Awww...so horrible to see Yuri bullied but interesting that Hiroki came to his aid even though he was probably dealing with confusing feelings of his own and these bullies were making it worse. And honestly the Dad is no better than these bullies!"
July 28, 2024 – page 105
82.03% "That's it!!! I wish I could give this dad a piece of my mind!! And it looks like Mom does too."
July 28, 2024 – page 109
85.16% "Yes mom!! Call Dad out! How is he any different from the bullies even if he sees his words as just joking around??"
July 28, 2024 – page 126
98.44% "Again such a beautiful quote from Mom: "our son has lots of friends in his life and they love him. The reason I can be sure about this is that happy, genuine smile I see on the face of that boy who can't lie to save his life. Instead of worrying about him, I should just trust that smile." 😀"

[Debo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this series SO MUCH, it is literally the softest thing and I just read it while being out cold with a cold (hah) and it made me feel the slightest bit warmer. Hiroki's mom is going to get his dad in line, I am starting to believe it, and besides this illustrates so beautifully how support systems are wonderful and so very important, how labelling kids too early can be harmful, how this world assumes heterosexuality so much (greetings Adrienne Rich) and how representation and role models are EVERYTHING. Another shout-out to Hiroki's lil brother who OWNS MY HEART.

CW: homophobic language and bullying

[⋆ ࣪˖ ִֶָ sel ་༘࿐ · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you don't know how to think or what to do when you've only been exposed to stereotypical standards when it comes to gender and people, pick this book. This volume is pure tenderness. It talks about things in a simple but profound way.

[Andrew Eder · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s not getting any better. Silly and cute but it was exactly like the first two. Like nearly nothing unique at all.

[Meg · Rating 4 out of 5]

again still more of the same but still good, im hoping for some more progress in the next volume

[Sif · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this one ! it was short and sweet and focused a lot on choir

the dad is definitely making me nervous with his homophobia ):

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sometimes I'm a bit thrown off by the culture shock. The mother Tomoko feels so completely alien in many respects. She's supportive of her presumably gay son, and even almost stands up for him when his father casually throws a gay slur around. But then she's completely shocked to learn a co-worker is openly gay. Like it rocks the foundation of her workplace.

It all feels so antiquated, so my heart goes out to the LGBT community in Japan if that's what it's still like.

As for the story it's still pretty cute, but also feels like it's treading water. Everything is happening so slowly. I'm hoping volume four will feel like there's more to this than a kind of rinse and repeat.

[Peace Love Plan & Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was still an enjoyable entry into this series but not very much happens - the books follow a similar formula and kind of all feel like filler novels. However we do get some advancement with the situation with Hiroki’s dad in this one, my goodness I want someone to tell this man to shut up.

This one is a harder read for bullying, homophobic language and just general outdated thinking.

As always, Yuri was a true delight.

[Frankie Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the cutest things I've ever read. This series is amazing. Its a wonderful mix of cute stories with a wonderful truth behind it. The mom is a wonderful character and I feel like it tackles real problems but in a peaceful, educating kind of way. I can't wait for the next.

[Lauren Stoolfire · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a relatable story. It's good to get to know the family more and more, but I'd like to get to know Mr. Tono a little more.