How Not To Be A Vampire Slayer

by Katy Birchall

When Maggie Helsby moves to Goreway, she isn't afraid of the spooky legends. But then she uncovers Skeleton Manor and meets a young vampire called Sharptooth Shadow. Can she change her destiny and find a way to keep the peace between humans and vampires

Genres: Middle Grade, Fantasy, Vampires, Young Adult, Horror, Fiction, Science Fiction Fantasy

195 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2021

About the author

Katy is the author of several young adult novels including The It Girl series, the Hotel Royale series and Morgan Charmley: Teen Witch. She is the co-author of the middle grade Lightning Girl series and Star Switch with Alesha Dixon, and the Find the Girl teen series with YouTube stars Lucy and Lydia Connell. Katy was proud to be the author of a retelling of Jane Austen's Emma for the Awesomely Austen series, a collection of Austen's novels retold for younger readers. She has also written a non-fiction book, How to be a Princess: Real-Life Fairy Tales for Modern Heroines.

Katy lives in London with her partner, Ben, and her rescue dog, Bono.

The Secret Bridesmaid is her adult fiction debut.

Reviews

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

This had a lot of potential. Maggie Helsby loves all things scary, and she's delighted when she discovers her new town has a lot of spooky legends. One of them is about Skeleton Woods, where it's believed a vampire resides in a crumbling castle. Following a date from her new friends,she decides to explore the woods. However, she wasn't expecting to find a vegetarian vampire, who turns out to be an invaluable friend.

I had a couple of issues with this. The main one is that the plot is pretty much non existent, and what little we do eventually get is ruined in the title of the book. 180 pages into a 250 page book and the story still hadn't got to the point where Maggie finds out about being a vampire slayer or found the 'ancient book' described in the synopsis. So for most of the story we don't even see the events described in the back of the book, and any potential reveals are spoiled by the title. I mean, I know I'm not the target audience here but it still seems kind of silly to give everything away in the title and synopsis of your story. Because of this I also felt it was misleading. I wanted Maggie to be this amazing, all fighting powerful 'Buffy' type character who knows all the secrets to the underworld. I got none of that.

My second main issue is the writing style. It feels very young in its execution and a lot of time we are told exactly how characters feel and act. It's very formulaic and stilted and I found I just couldn't gel very well with it. Again, I know this is aimed at a younger reading age than myself but I never take that as an excuse for poor writing, and I've read some beautifully written middle grades. The ending is also incredibly simplistic and wrapped up in 2 pages.

I did like the friendship group however. Maggie, Ari, Sharptooth and Miles make a good team and really highlight the benefits of being a good friend, regardless of differences. However I did think it was a bit heavy handed with Sharptooth and her lack of knowledge about the modern world. I find it hard to believe that she doesn't know what music is, in any capacity - but then again, she's a vampire, who am I to say it's unrealistic?!

I'll still pass this on to my daughter, who I think will really love Maggie and co. It's certainly a different read from the average stuff she gravitates towards (mermaids and unicorns), and for that I'm really pleased to have found this.

[Книжни Криле · Rating 4 out of 5]

Изд. „Orange Books“ сменя нюанса с по-тъмен и… се обагря в червено! Но вие не се бойте, защото страховитите кръвопийци от готическите романи на ужаса са претърпели известна метаморфоза в това сладурско и адски забавно младежко фентъзи. „Как да НЕ бъдеш убиец на вампири“ на Кейти Бърчъл ще накара подрастващите читатели да будуват до късно, но не завити през глава от страх, а нетърпеливи да научат финала на не-прекалено-зловещия сюжет! Прочетете ревюто на „Книжни Криле“: https://knijnikrile.wordpress.com/202...

[Annette · Rating 4 out of 5]

So, I was at the Waterstones in Amsterdam last weekend and on the 1+1 table there was a book from my wishlist. However, there was only one book of my wishlist on said table, which meant I had to find another book to buy with it. And then I saw this book. The title already spoke to me, the cover sealed the deal. I didn't even bother to read the back of the book. I just assumed I was gonna like it. And today I was ready to discover if I was right.

I think, if you're into vampire stories, it's almost impossible not to like this middle grade. Mostly because it's a cute take on the vampire lore without making it TOO cute. It has the right kind of scary vibes to get kids to grow familiar with the horror and thriller genre, but it never gets that scary that it will cause nightmares (for most kids). It also has the right kind of drama to be interesting, while also having the right kind of humor to be funny.

That's mostly because the characters in this story are just amazing. Our leading lady is a little bit weird, but it's explained why at the end and considering the title of the book the why is also not that hard to guess while reading. Yet, it's easy to understand her and it's even easier to root for her and to like her, because despite who and what she is, she has a very big heart and is very willing to fight for the right things.

The true star of the story however is the little vampire we meet. At some point the characters compare her reactions to the human world to an alien visiting earth for the first time and it's exactly that. However, her joy and her surprise always felt very genuine. She had a bubbly attitude and a positive way of looking at life and I love how she's willing to change the entire world if it means she can find her happiness.

I will happily read more books by this author, because this one surely didn't disappoint at all!

[Mimi · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 🌟

[Eti · Rating 3 out of 5]

Сладурска и идеална за младите читатели. Аз просто не попадам в целевата група на книгата 🧡

[Krasi Karaivanov · Rating 3 out of 5]

Приятна, много наивна и бърза за четене книга, но определено е от типа детски книги, които са си типично детски и когато ги прочете възрастен ще си каже „е можеше и повече“. Персонажите ми бяха забавни и много хубаво изпълняват ролите си, а именно да покажат на децата, че приятелството не зависи от цвят на коса, кожа, очи, дали се храним еднакво и т.н.
Искаше ми се авторката да наблегне на няколко момента и един персонаж малко повече, но и така беше приятно преживяване.

[Elena Toncheva · Rating 3 out of 5]

Сладка и поучителна вампирска история!
Перфектното четиво ако си на 11 и тепърва откриваш магията на книгите.

Стегнато написана история, динамично действие, хумор изпъстрил страничките, четеш и се сещаш за онези умилителни дни, когато си малък, всичко е ново, интересно и гледаш на света толкова… простичко.

Умилителна книга, която ще накара порасналите приключенци да се върнат към детските си години.

[Tegan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Super cute, and something I would’ve loved as a kid, but could have focused more on storyline and actual plot.

[Irena Georgieva · Rating 1 out of 5]

Със сигурност бих харесала книгата ако я бях прочела преди 15-20 години. Cute,but definitely written for the younger audience.

[Han · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a 22 year old, I mainly read middle-grade books for the sole purpose of preparation for when I write my first children’s novel.

However, I really loved this book. It was heartwarming and funny. And as someone from Yorkshire that grew up with tales of Dracula. This is exactly the kind of book I would have devoured as a child.

So get your fries with ketchup, a blanket cape, and your fake vampire teeth, and curl up on an October evening with this adorable read.

[V · Rating 5 out of 5]

Лека, но в същото време смешна книга! Както се казва на корицата,, ще ви се прииска да виете от смях....

[(Katie) Paperbacks · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like the Hotel Transylvania movies, you'll like this book. I enjoyed the sweet "vegetarian" vampire and her friendship with the humans. A middle grade book that is more funny and friendly than scary, which I was glad about. 😄

I am not normally a fan of books like this, and the only parts I didn't like were when witches were mentioned, but the rest of the book I did enjoy.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5

I actually really liked this. Yes, I borrowed this from my son’s bookshelf. Yes, I bought it for him, but I was curious to see how it would go. I didn’t expect it to be adult fiction, I went into it keeping in mind what the targeted audience would be. I think it is a great book for mid-upper elementary age. It was cute, fun, Halloween-ish in vibe and had some great messages.

[Gabriela Kozhuharova · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was absolutely LOVING this book until the last few chapters when it became somewhat messy. It was a loveable mess, but still. The idea is great and will definitely appeal to kids who are into scary stuff, but it could've been a little more fleshed out.

[Logan R · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very fun. From the beginning when Maggie and Sharptooth meet, to the end with the human/vampire party, it had me hooked. i especially enjoyed the parts where they were teaching Sharptooth about the human world. And I loved bat-wings, who is Sharptooth's pet bat.

[Maik · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute

[Ivanski02 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Не знам защо все ми изникваха образите на героите от "Хотел Трансилвания". Имаше забавани моменти, но определено си е детска книга. 🤷

[Hannah Baldwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

THE WHOLESOME VIBES WERE TOO MUCH FOR MY WEAK HEART!

[Kristina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Хареса ми, но не ме впечатли чак толкова.

[Kortni · Rating 3 out of 5]

3⭐️

Nothing groundbreaking here.
Super cute but towards the end it started to feel like the author had no idea what to do with the story anymore.
It became a bit of a mess. A lovable mess though. The friend group dynamics were adorable but the ending definitely needed some work.
This would definitely appeal to kiddos who are into spooky stuff, fans of Monster High, Goosebumps, etc. would love this 💀

[Bookish · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so glad I stumbled across this book the other day. It was such a fun read.

I picked this up as something to read with my kids in school, but I absolutely fell in love with the book as well.

Maggie Helsby moves to a new town, into an old wonky house that an unknown relative has left her family. She loves horror (girl after my own heart there) and she is actually so excited when she gets to the house and sees how creepy the town is and all the stories that go with it.

STAY OUT OF THE WOODS

is the only rule she is given. But the woods seem fine to her, she cannot stop staring at them though.

The adventures that comes next is so good. I loved Maggie and thoroughly enjoyed her new life. Definitely a read if you love horror, and it is definitely a book I am excited to read with my class. Here's hoping there is a book 2🤞

[Brandon Meacham · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story was just Delightful.
Its more a child friendly take of Vampires including the traditioned clichés you heard associated with them (Garlic being their Achilles Heel, their fear of Sunlight etc.) they do also acknowledge other "Mythical" persons like Werewolves and Witches DO exist and the witches have or had a pact with with the Vampires, but the Witches live amongst Humans.
The moral message is pretty apparent (Imagine that for a children's story!)
Its a theme of Preconceived prejudices based on information that may have an invoke of fear.
Its humans against Vampires.
but prejudices are overcome and I thought it was sweet how Maggie, Ari and Miles shared a love with music and stories with Sharptooth Shadow. Also shout out to Maggie being a Bonafide Horror fan and loaning a Goosebumps book to Miles to open him to the world of horror.
I'm glad she Didn't need to change what she loved just to fit in with others who deemed her a FREAK for liking something different.

[Ms. Yingling · Rating 4 out of 5]

E ARC provided by Edelweiss Plus

When Maggie Helsby's Great Uncle Bram leaves his run down house to her dentist parents, they decide to move to the small town of Goreway to take over the practice there. The house is right next to Skeleton Woods, a shadowy and dangerous looking place that now one in town enters. Luckily, she is befriended at school by Ari and Miles, who share her fascination with the woods. Mayor Collyfleur, however, thinks that the woods should be razed and a golf course built there. He had even had his eyes on the Helsby's house. Ari and Miles are up for exploring, but when the three enter the woods, Maggie is oddly drawn further and further in, where she finds Skeleton Castle and meets Sharptooth Shadow, a young vampire who manages to save her from the evil head of the school there, Count Bloodthirst. Sharptooth is the first vegetarian vampire, and she subsists on beet juice instead of blood. Maggie warms to her, shares human books and music with her, and even invites her to have dinner at her house on Halloween. Of course, her mother uses the plentiful garlic that Uncle Bram has planted around the house, but Sharptooth remains calm. Sharptooth is the Chosen Leader of the group, but thinks that the vampires need to change with the times a bit. Maggie, on the other hand, learns some interesting facts about her own family background. When the future of Skeleton Woods is in question, the girls work together to save the vampires' environment, creating a new culture of collaboration along the way.
Strengths: Maggie wasn't thrilled to be moving, but took to her new environment, and Air and Miles were welcoming right away. She does some research in the school library, and goes about her exploration of the woods in a fairly mindful way. I was tickled by the fact that there Skeleton Castle was a home for vampires in the woods, and that the townspeople just... stayed away for all those years. I loved the family secrets that Maggie uncovered, although they were hinted at pretty broadly. (All those mirrors Uncle Bram had were NOT coincidental!) Sharptooth was an intriguing character, and the way that the two very different girls bonded and then extended that cooperation to all of the residents just made me happy. I would have adored this when I was in middle school even though I didn't really read any paranormal or horror books. Oh! This author also wrote the It Girl series.
Weaknesses: I know that even young adult books are using the more cartoon style of cover illustrations, but it's just not my favorite. This could have had a much more serious cover, especially if the role of Mayor Collyfleur had been downplayed. (He was okay, but a bit Scooby-doo-ish.)
What I really think: There are some middle grade novels that are just pleasantly easy to read. They are well developed but not confusing stories, characters who try to do good but run into surmountable challenges, and both make sense and are fun. This is one of those. Perfect for fans of Scholastic's Poison Apple Series or the P.J. Night Creepover series, and a bit reminiscent of the undersappreciated Castle Hangnail by Ursula Vernon. Order extra copies of this if you are hosting a Scholastic bookfair.

[Kate Morgan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Katy Birchall’s How Not to be a Vampire Slayer is a lighthearted children’s book about friendship and trust displayed through an unlikely friendship between Maggie – a vampire slayer and Sharptooth – a local vampire. I was excited to read this book with my preteen book club, however I feel we all felt disappointed from the novel. This book would be better suited to a much younger reading age than Google, Waterstones etc suggests, we all felt that the subject matter and plot was better suited to younger children, and that they wanted to read a spookier version of this novel. For example, even the vampire’s names were cringeworthy, Sharptooth Shadow and Count Bloodthirst are pretty uninspiring,

In an attempt to stop the mayor from destroying the vampire’s home in Skeleton Woods, Maggie and Sharptooth team up to show the town that friendship is more important than a golf course. There is a nice happy ending, but the overall book wasn’t a great read. The title gives away the one small bit of suspense the novel had, we know from the beginning that Maggie is a Vampire Slayer, but she doesn’t find out until the novel’s conclusion which is way past the opportunity for her to explore this. When this information is revealed to her, along with the ancient magic book, the novel is so close to over that it doesn’t have much effect. I would have enjoyed the story more if Maggie knew she was Vampire Slayer, and this was why they weren’t supposed to be friends. Sharptooth could have shown her that not all vampires are from horror films, and it could have had a great message about acceptance and friendship. Mile’s character was the best and he deserved more screen time.

[Amaia is da best · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maggie Helsby loves scary things. In fact, she’s not scared of anything haunting. One day, they moved to a small town named Gorway that apparently had a haunted woods called skeleton woods. The worst part was that Maggie was going to move into her uncle brams (who died) house that lived right next to the woods. You may be wondering what’s so scary about skeleton woods? Well legend has it that vampires live inside a huge old stone castle inside the woods and no one can get into the castle because it has and enchantment that dosent let humans in. That’s why the woods are forbidden and no one is allowed in. One day, Maggie and her new friends,Ari and Mileswent to the woods to find out if the legend was true. But when Maggie entered, ari and miles ran away because it was to scary for them. When Maggie reaches the castle, she manages to get in with the enchaments not working on her. Then she finds a vampire same age as her who is a vegetarian vampire??? Soon they become friends and Maggie teaches her about things that humans like and sharptooth, who is the vampire, teaches who some stuff they do. In the end, miles and ari meet sharptooth and become friends until Maggie’s parents find out that they have been hanging out with a vampire and the mayor tries to tear down the woods but people start agreeing that they shouldn’t hurt the vampires and they all live in harmony :)

Why I rate this a 3? It wasn’t has exciting as I thought. All it was about is a girl moves and meets a vampire. Not the best book but it was a good book. Recommend if u like vampires :D

[Yasmine · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars, rounded to 4.

I really liked this book except the blurb that gives absolutely everything away. Why???

Things I liked:
- cute, fun characters
- instantly engaging and easy to read
- sweet and silly and fun, just a wholesome read
- reminds me of the little vampire if you’ve seen that film (not sure if it’s a book)
- also Sharptooth is an amazing character and super funny

Things I didn’t like:
- why does the blurb give away legit all of the plot?? And the title for that matter. You don’t even get to the slaying part of the book until over 180 pages in - that’s over 2/3 of the way through??! Absolutely bonkers. I get you want that to be be hook to read but literally takes any and all suspense out of what would have been an interesting twist/surprise. This really reduces the dramatic tension of the book. This absolutely boggles me and I’ve no clue why this decision was made.
- also the ‘villain’ is so one-dimensional he was as flat as a pancake

Fave quote: ‘sorry about that… had a moment there where I almost died, but I’m ok now’

Fave character: Sharptooth, duh!

Ratings
Worldbuilding: 3.5/5
Plot: 4/5
Characters: 4.5/5 (only for Sharptooth)
Writing style: 4/5

[K.E. Barden · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars.

This book only took a few hours to read and I was keen to read something easy with some vampire vibes. The book was given to me by a friend so I was eager to get into it.

This book was like a mix of goosebumps meets the babysitters club, except there’s vampires. It was cute watching the friendship grow between sharp tooth and the FMC and I liked the take on NOT being a vampire hunter which was a nice quirk. I wouldn’t call this a YA book though. The plot is simplistic as is the writing and from the way it shaped out, id definitely pop it in the children’s book category.

It was definitely cute. But I think a lot more could have been done with it. Like more on the school for vamps, or the character development of the main count or more of the town. It seemed like everything was a little too easy and I really like a struggle or a challenge for my characters. So that lacked for me.

If you’ve got younger kids into vamps then this book would be great!

[A. L. · Rating 4 out of 5]

An enjoyable read! Not exactly deep or complicated, but not everything has to be. Sometimes, it's fun to relax with a cheesy story about a modern-day, teenage "Van Helsing" trying to be friends with a vampire instead of following prophecies and birthrights.

The plot does wander a bit, lending itself to a "Slice-of-life" style of barely any plot, but I enjoyed being able to sit with the characters and get to know them instead of constantly rushing through to see what happens next in the plot. There are a lot of over-the-top, goofy, truly enjoyable characters.

The one thing I didn't really like - and this is a humorous complaint to have about a book with a vampire named "Sharptooth" - the Vilinous Mayer of the town is over-the-top to the point of being completely ridiculous. Somewhat amusing, but it's like having Woody Woodpecker in a Scooby-Doo cartoon. The level of humor just doesn't mesh. At least, it didn't for me.

Overall, a sweet, inoffensive, enjoyable story.

[Emily Basford · Rating 4 out of 5]

So I did read this series in the wrong order by it didn’t matter and I’m so glad I’ve read both 🙂 whilst this is meant for a younger demographic, this is such a fun read.

Maggie Helsby loves all things scary, and she's delighted when she discovers her new town has a lot of spooky legends. One of them is about Skeleton Woods, where it's believed a vampire resides in a crumbling castle. Following a date from her new friends, she decides to explore the woods. However, she wasn't expecting to find a vegetarian vampire, who turns out to be an invaluable friend.

This is such a cute telling on vampire lore so! I will happily ready more books by the author and I hope there will be a 3rd installment of Maggie Helsby!

🧡🫶🏻📚

[Kelsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in just under a week, which is quite quick for me. The plot moved very slowly. But honestly, it was just a cute little story, and I was enjoying the slow pace. I do think the plot goes from very slow to suddenly super quick. Other than that, I absolutely loved it.

Maggie was a very likeable character who I think child me would relate to massively. Sharptooth was also a very likeable character, and it was fun reading about her reaction to human things. Even count bloodthirst was an interesting character to read about. His character development was very sudden but also enjoyable.

The book did an amazing job at making goreway seem like a cosy little spooky town; the vibes throughout were great.