A Love-Stretched Life: Stories on Wrangling Hope, Embracing the Unexpected, and Discovering the Meaning of Family

by Jillana Goble

“With forthrightness and a sense of humor, the author crafts a poignant portrait of motherhood, replete with hard-earned wisdom. . . . This uplifting memoir exemplifies the power of faith, hope, and steadfast love.” ― Publisher’s Weekly

This life is real and complicated, messy, colorful, good, exhausting, and exhilarating―often simultaneously.
It’s easy to feel overburdened by life’s demands. Looking out into the world as well as under the roof of our home may cause us to question, “How did we get here? And how will we get through?”

Jillana Goble has been there. With honesty, faith, and a dose of humor, her debut memoir, A Love-Stretched Life , chronicles what she's continually learning on the suspension bridge between reality and hope. A mom via foster care, birth, and adoption―in that order―for nearly two decades, Jillana has experienced life’s curveballs. Her come-as-you-are posture amidst a daily reality far different than she ever imagined reassures you that you’re not alone if your life isn’t tidily wrapped in a bow.

These stories will stay with you as you strive to love and to love well, even when―and especially when―it’s hard. Whether you are widening your family circle or just trying to get through the day, Jillana welcomes you to her table, offering you an anchor of hope to hang on to as you navigate your own love-stretched life.

Genres: Adoption, Fostering, Nonfiction, Memoir

320 pages, Paperback

Published June 7, 2022

Reviews

[Mallory · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting book for me. I work for child welfare so I have met the author and have had families and myself and coworkers benefit from her organization. I liked how open and honest she was in telling her story about love and family. I will admit this book had a bit more talk about God and Christianity than I will usually choose, but I really liked seeing how Jillana’s family grew. It was nice to see foster care through such a caring and loving mother who genuinely saw the kids temporarily in her home as important as all the other kids.

[Kat Bonham · Rating 5 out of 5]

"surrounded by brokenness, i am extended a continual invitation to walk the suspension bridge between reality and hope."

Even if you're not a parent or involved in foster care/adoption, everyone can relate to some piece of Jillana Goble's story, as she shares it in her memoir. She recognizes that her life is not how she imagined it years ago, but instead it's filled with a richness that has been hard earned through much intention, tears, and a desire for others to experience the best life can offer for them.

I highly recommend!

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I saw this author speak. Her story and the lives she’s touched in the foster care community are inspiring. I skimmed the parts about God and the Bible, but that’s an important part of her life.

[Mary Elizabeth Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely beautiful - will destroy your heart then put it back together again

[Ali Maleski · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a lovely read! Jilana's humble and heartfelt approach to telling her story was inspiring. I found myself choked with tears many times throughout this book. Her model "doing the next right thing" played out in such a beautiful story of what love could do in a truly devastating situation (foster care). She didn't sugar-coat things, but she also gave a peak into the joy and redemption that can come from trusting God with difficult situations. I enjoyed reading about how she navigated her relationships with her foster/adoptive moms and the wide range of emotions she had. It's worth the read!

[Angela W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir is both poignant and funny because truth be told in the ups and downs of foster care at times you have to laugh to keep from crying. This book reaffirmed something I’ve long said regarding foster care… “broken system, sovereign God.” Juliana Goble truly loved in ambiguity, the uncertainty of each day. She loved like Jesus those in her home and life whether it be for moments, a season, or a lifetime. The author doesn’t shy away from the difficult aspects of foster care, but she definitely leaves the reader with hope.

[Lexi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me cry and rejoice. What a wonderful memoir of foster care and adoption and navigating all the nuances of loving a child. If you are at all interested in foster care, this book is raw and real and also really helpful in understanding where your heart will be stretched and grow. Highly recommend!

[Annie Webb · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated this look into a family built from marriage, foster care, bio kids, adoption—in that order. It was honest and raw and showed how messy yet beautiful the connections with bio families can be in the foster care system.

[Bethany Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐

[Stephanie Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

The GOOD:
Being a Bible-believing Christian and a foster parent, I thought the overall narrative was very thought-provoking, heart-wrenching, and relatable. Her heart for hurting kids is easily picked up.

 She added some very insightful thoughts and quotes. For example, in answering the typical question, "How do you protect your heart in fostering?" Jillana Goble wisely answers:  "[A child] deserves healthy attachment more than I need to keep my heart protected from shattering. Love is a risk, a vulnerable heart move. There is no risk-free path in parenting no matter how our children come to us. We know that at any moment our hearts could be scraped by tragedy, trauma, or rebellion. This doesn't stop us, however, from loving our children and continually being shaped by them."  

The BAD:
 The author claims to be non-judgmental and spends considerable time assuming that the judgments of others are based on skin color. Yet, in many interactions Goble recalls with the police, she suspects evil motives (racism or some other character flaw) based on a uniform. 
" 'Ma'am I'm gonna let you go with the warning. Just be mindful of your speed.' the officer said. I thanked him and was on my way. I suspected the reason I didn't get a ticket that day (other than my skin color not working against me) was that the officer couldn't stand the noise emanating from my car long enough to write me one." 
Scripture teaches that we can not know the motives of others unless they disclose them to us. “For who among people knows the thoughts of a person except the spirit of the person that is in him?” 1 Corinthians 2:11. Rather, love should believe the best about everyone whenever possible. (1 Corinthians 13:7). It is disappointing that she did not apply the non-judgemental standard universally.

Overall, she had a low view of the Church. :( I am heartbroken if her experiences lead her to this conclusion.

The author shares this from a trauma-informed (circumstance-centered) perspective. She asserts that sinful behavior is the "vocabulary of the deeply wounded." I agree, that is helpful to look on others with mercy, understanding that they are shaped by trauma… by brokenness. But that perspective can’t be the focus of our counseling. No, encouraging others to view life from a victimhood mentality is hopeless.  The most merciful course is to help others understand their sinfulness and need for a savior.  Hope is found in fixing our eyes on the Savior, not on our circumstances. Hebrews 12:2  “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” This book just needed more of Jesus.

[Peter Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderfully written, challenging, and inspiring.

Jillana beautifully captures the raw realities of life, unforeseen twists, along with humor sprinkled throughout this book. I loved how I felt completely drawn in to her story as I was invited to create a story worth telling of my own.

I found myself up late at night, way past my bed time having the hardest time putting this book down, eager to read the next page. Though our stories and backgrounds are quite different, Jillana shares multiple forks in the road, where many of us find ourselves wondering which path to take. I'm completely in awe of how her story has unfolded, the ways Jillana and her family have demonstrated selfless love in the midst of incredibly trying times.

This truly is a great read, one I'd highly recommend to anyone. Despite our differences, we all have an opportunity before us to decide to do the next right thing, and that will make all the difference in the one life (or lives) that only we can leave a lasting impact on, which can change history and generations to come. This book provides a glimmer of hope paired with the real examples of choices that can make a whole world of difference, while completely shifting the trajectory and velocity of this wild adventure we call life.

Well done Jillana and team!

[Christy Postma · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just purchased my 9th copy of Jillana's book, A Love Stretched Life, because I just keep thinking of people who would be blessed by and enjoy reading it. Jillana packages her powerful messages of love and hope and finding joy in the beautiful and the messy in a way that is approachable and engaging, uplifting and funny. Whereas her story of parenting is vastly different than my own she manages to make the lessons her journey has taught her approachable and applicable. Her story is one of self-sacrificial love and the way that kind of love transforms the individual, the family and the world. I was blown away by her story, and yet not left behind, which is I think, one of the marks of a truly great storyteller. On p. 6 she writes: “When life and family and relationships proceed less like a nice, neat line and more like something that closely resembles a scribble, I am shored up by this truth: Difficult and worthy are not mutually exclusive – they are often intertwined.” Such an un-popular and powerful truth. The world needs more people with grit - people like Jillana who do not quit when the going gets incredibly tough- because the work (of loving well), though costly, is worthy. Thank you Jillana, for your life, your work, and for sharing it so beautifully, humbly and graciously with the rest of us.

[LAMONT D · Rating 5 out of 5]

AN AMAZING STORY OF A COUPLE DEVOTED TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIVES OF CHILDREN, ONE DAY AT A TIME NO MATTER WHAT THE COST. THE STORY OF A FOSTER CHILD IS COMPLICATED, MIXED WITH A SPECTRUM OF EMOTIONS. JILLANA AAND HER HUSBAND HAVE LIVED SUCH A CHAOTIC LIFE AS THEY DEDICATED THEMSELVES TO BE FOSTER PARENTS, FIRST IN THE STATE OF NEW YORK AND THEN LATER ACROSS THE COUNTRY IN PORTLAND, OREGON. IN THE MIDST OF THIS JOURNEY, SHE BECAME AN ADVOCATE FOR THE FAMILIES OF THE FOSTER CHILD ALONG WITH THE CHILDREN THEMSELVES AND HAD A VISION TO MAKE A BROKEN SYSTEM A LITTLE BIT BETTER, ONE CHILD AND FAMILY AT A TIME. LIVING OUT A SURPRISING AND AT TIMES STRESSFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BIRTH MOTHER OF ONE OF THEIR "KIDS" SHE HAS BECOME AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT THINGS MAY LOOK LIKE IF A PERSON CHOOSES LOVE EACH TIME, NO MATTER WHAT THE SACRIFICE OR CONSEQUENCE. WHAT A THOUGHT-PROVOKING, HEARTBREAKING AND YET ENCOURAGING BOOK TO READ.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jillana Goble pulled me in right away. This amazing memoir is heartbreaking and funny, but mostly a major insight to the world of foster care and adoption. Jillana shares openly and honestly about her family’s situation, struggles & successes alike. The audiobook made me feel like I was sitting at her dining room table, having a long conversation with a friend. And in the end I realized it’s more than her family’s story; it’s a reminder to give grace, have hope, and lean on faith no matter what you’re going through.

Thank you, Jillana, for a beautiful ray of light in a world that projects a lot of negativity & darkness at times.

[heather brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a new foster parent what a gift this book was!! I cannot believe how in relatively short amount of words Jillana was able to write something so relatable, raw, heartbreaking as well as funny. Jillana Goble is a fantastic writer that had my attention from page one. I could not put this book down. This book has opened my eyes to a whole new level of loving people. This will be a book I constantly go back to and reference for not only encouragement but resources and ideas.

[Maureen Russell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t read tons of books written by moms talking about their journeys because I think “I can’t even find clean underwear most days let alone write a book!” But as a new foster mom, I was interested in this particular author because she has done much to improve child welfare in our state of Oregon, and I find stories of foster care and adoption interesting. She wrote with such candor and relatability, I wasn’t left feeling alienated like so many other parenting books can make me feel. I felt like I was getting a glimpse into her very real life - the good, the beautiful, and the ugly and hard. She speaks of her work with vulnerable kids as her way of offering the world a small, sacrificial gift from something she has named Divine Love. Divine Love that created this good world and has good plans for it. She weaved this theme in and out of all her stories and it was stunning.
I highly recommend this engaging memoir to anyone interested in themes of parenting, fostering and adoption, and works of justice.

[Heather Christenson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a former foster parent, of nearly a decade, and an adoptive mother, this story had so many similarities to our experience. The experiences and relationships that I share with my children’s biological family are not easily explained or understood by many. But, this author gets it. She explains it all in a way that I can’t (and wouldn’t…I make efforts to allow my children privacy by not over sharing since this is THEIR life story). The author did this in such a beautiful way. So many similarities to our story…from supervising visits, to difficult conversations with bio parents, to providing all of the transportation for visits, to becoming a friend/mentor to bio parents, to the feelings she expressed about walking into the court room for each court date, to the disruption and joy that this service brings to your home and biological children…all of it. This is a 100% authentic look into the experience of a foster parent in Oregon. I highly recommend.

[Erin Oeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and I have been considering fostering and/or adoption, and this book was such a gift of insight into the challenges, joy, and significance of this calling. Thank you! It is a must-read for anyone considering this path, with raw honesty, vulnerability, and tremendous courage, Jillian and her family share their inspiring stories and the hope that keeps them going on this beautiful messy journey together as a family, sharing life together when there is no script to guide the way. I’ll be revisiting this book for years to come, mining the wisdom, grace, and hope that emanate from its pages.

[Heidi Donahue · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the first chapter until the last my heart was held captive, I couldn't put it down! I read it in a couple days and was crying and laughing out loud as I went. Jillana writes in a way any woman and mother can relate to, so candidly real about all aspects of her journey in this world where life gets bumpy. I learned a lot about the foster care system and felt very inspired and grateful for all foster parents do for the children who need caring adults in their life. If you're looking for a book that moves your heart, look no more. Pick this one up and make sure you have a little time because you will not want to put it down!

[Megan Hickman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jilanna has a gift for bringing you into her story. She is relatable and paints a real yet hopeful picture of her foster care and adoption journey through this book. If you're a foster or adoptive parent, you will come away with an overarching view of what your commitment to these kids and their families is about. If you are not, you will have a better picture of how to be a part of your community and support those who care for children from hard places. It's a captivating read and well worth your time.

[Caitlin Asher · Rating 5 out of 5]

An honest portrayal of the world of foster parenting, adoptive parenting, and revolving your life around the large and often impersonal child welfare system. As a foster and adoptive parent I laughed out loud at parts, and was crying through others. This life is as brutal as it is beautiful, and this book captures the both/and of it well. A must read for anyone walking or preparing to walk this road.

[Catlin Kramka · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of listening to the audiobook version. Hearing it read by the author and knowing this story was hers made it very engaging. The foster care system has been on my heart for years. The depth, honesty, and reality of this journey in foster care, motherhood, relationships, and adoption was captivating.
It encouraged me to love deeper, forgive more and get up and do the next thing. Thanks for this work of love and for sharing it.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was looking hard for a book that really gives a great story of foster care being a range of emotions and Jillana did just that. I also struggle with religion being extremely engrossed in foster parenting and while the author is faith-based, she doesn't use that in her story to be above others. She uses it as a way to get through her day, her life, and how it gives her strength. I really appreciated being able to read her story.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

A dear friend gifted this book to me for Christmas, saying it was a must-read! And she was right! Highly recommended, especially for foster and/or adoptive moms. I feel like this was the book I was looking for these past five years of our foster journey. We need more memiors of this subject! I appreciated Jillana's storytelling, especially getting into the hard and the messy that this lifestyle includes.

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was perfect for me to read both to learn about foster care but ultimately to lean into loving people and loving children and really seeing them as good humans. I look up to Jilana immensely. However, she gives too much of herself and I think that is unhealthy and doesn't give time to herself. Also I do not like the word intentionality or intentional as it was used 5 million times.

I do love and appreciate that this book was written and that I got to read it!

[Ashley Shackelford · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hardly ever rate books or write reviews on here, wow, I just had to with this one. The author conveyed her story so poignantly. Such an insightful and wise woman with a tremendous heart. My mother was a foster child raised by one family from the time she was 4-18 years old, so I am so thankful to families who so selflessly open their homes and give their time, money, devotion, and love.

[Natalie Brenner · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is the book WE WERE WAITING FOR! Adoptive & foster families have craved a truthful, honest, real life peek into feeling SEEN and understood. A Love Stretched Life is a must read for anyone within the adoptive or foster community OR anyone preparing to enter OR if you have someone in your life part of the adoptive or foster community. This is a read you won’t want to put down.

[Myra Loy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I expected this to be a story of foster care and adoption, which it is, but was pleasantly surprised by her realness about journeying through becoming a special needs parent via adoption. Deeply heartfelt, well written, and poignantly vulnerable. I felt connected to the author and her story in a way that I have not with many of these memoirs I've read.

[Elizabeth Eckmeyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciated this book. It gave me an inside look at one family's story being a foster family. I know that everyone has a different story. I appreciated her personal narrative. Not only did it include some messy that happens in foster care but she included the positive. I'm thankful I read this story.

[Beth Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was an interesting look at how foster care, adoption, and special needs can shape families and communities, with an emphasis on love, attention and genuine connection. The author shares snippets of her faith in this memoir, but it is not a religious book and would therefore appeal to a wider audience.