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The Smooth River: Finding Inspiration and Exquisite Beauty during Terminal Illness. Lessons from the Front Line.
KIrkus Reviews has selected The Smooth River as one of the Best Indie Books of 2021, giving it a coveted Starred Review.The Smooth River is the remarkable story of how a well-known public relations expert and her husband met her stage 4 pancreatic cancer head-on. With vigor and strength, they deployed all they and medicine had to offer. But, in contrast to narrow conventional approaches, the couple developed a far more expansive view of what strength means in response to a crisis for which there are no medical cures. They called this the Smooth River.This clear-eyed transcendent perspective was so vital that they wouldn’t let anything disrupt it—not cancer’s lethal march, not the strongest chemos and their failures to work, not the frequent episodes of severe pain, not how society expected them to think or act, not the process of dying itself.The Smooth River demonstrates how to treat one’s life as bigger—and far more important—than any medical condition, any tragedy, any setback of any kind. With effusive warmth, refreshing candor and practical detail, it describes how to personalize Medical and Life Plans that affirm the value of a patient's entire being and guide their loved ones. Its invaluable lessons show how to face life's end—whenever that might be—with sanctity and comfort, to view it as an opportunity for personal growth, finding inspiration and intense beauty in the experience—in life itself. There are lessons in the Smooth River approach for everyone.
The Smooth River amplifies the important messages of Dr. Atul Gawande in Being Mortal, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in On Death and Dying, Paul Kalanithi in When Breath Becomes Air, Julie Yip-Williams in The Unwinding of the A Memoir of Life, Death, and Everything That Comes After.
The Smooth River amplifies the important messages of Dr. Atul Gawande in Being Mortal, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in On Death and Dying, Paul Kalanithi in When Breath Becomes Air, Julie Yip-Williams in The Unwinding of the A Memoir of Life, Death, and Everything That Comes After.
- GenresNonfiction
290 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 26, 2021
21 people are currently reading
31 people want to read
About the author
Richard S. Cohen
2 books1 followerRichard S. Cohen was by his wife Marcia’s side when she was diagnosed on September 3, 2019, with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and woke up in her hospital room after she had exhaled her last breath 160 days later on February 10, 2020. Carrying out Marcia’s wishes, he coordinated every step of her care, navigating medical resources at four different hospitals while also conferring with leading pancreatic oncologists elsewhere. Rooted in his love for his wife and bringing to bear decades of professional organizational skills, he exhaustively networked with leading professionals and researched the pancreatic cancer field, examining key resources, therapies, clinical trials, and data. He organized all aspects of Marcia’s Medical Plan with her, her physicians and nurses, and an array of other personnel.
More importantly, he collaborated with Marcia in setting their Life Plan, the Smooth River, given her wishes for clarity, practicality, and relief from pain so that her final days could be filled with peace, dignity, and love. With Marcia’s aggressive cancer weakening her physical abilities and accelerating her end, Richard helped invest every day with meaning, being a gentle coach and giving texture and perspective to Marcia’s cancer treatments and the associated pain, nausea, and other debilitations.
Trained as a corporate lawyer, Richard arranges mergers and acquisitions for medical technology companies. He is an expert in navigating complex transactions, developing grounded creative solutions, and managing many professionals and personalities during stressful conditions. All of these skills were put to work in finding sanctuary, beauty, humor, and spirituality within cancer’s decay. Unencumbered by medical convention but having a deep respect for it and the clinicians who cared for her, Richard has translated Marcia’s ethos into a creative, personalized, and inspiring approach for dealing with terminal illness.
Richard wrote The Smooth River not as a medical or “art of dying well” expert, but as a peer of the reader, a peer of those touched by serious illness or other major problem. The book's purpose is to help other people.
More importantly, he collaborated with Marcia in setting their Life Plan, the Smooth River, given her wishes for clarity, practicality, and relief from pain so that her final days could be filled with peace, dignity, and love. With Marcia’s aggressive cancer weakening her physical abilities and accelerating her end, Richard helped invest every day with meaning, being a gentle coach and giving texture and perspective to Marcia’s cancer treatments and the associated pain, nausea, and other debilitations.
Trained as a corporate lawyer, Richard arranges mergers and acquisitions for medical technology companies. He is an expert in navigating complex transactions, developing grounded creative solutions, and managing many professionals and personalities during stressful conditions. All of these skills were put to work in finding sanctuary, beauty, humor, and spirituality within cancer’s decay. Unencumbered by medical convention but having a deep respect for it and the clinicians who cared for her, Richard has translated Marcia’s ethos into a creative, personalized, and inspiring approach for dealing with terminal illness.
Richard wrote The Smooth River not as a medical or “art of dying well” expert, but as a peer of the reader, a peer of those touched by serious illness or other major problem. The book's purpose is to help other people.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
November 1, 2021
While I did find the book beautiful, sad, and somewhat helpful, I also couldn’t help but notice a worldview made possible by remarkable privilege. This might not be the book for you if you find yourself shopping in the dollar store not from curiosity or convenience but due to abject necessity. Elite cancer centers, wills and trusts, beachfront vacation homes, and pricey memorial benches are not even within the realm of possibility for most of us.
I also questioned sometimes the smoothness of the river. How do you make it smooth? What elements are yours to control, and what controls you? I was reminded of this quote from Tommy Orange’s “There There,” which I also read recently: “We don’t have time…time has us. It holds us in its mouth like an owl holds a field mouse. We shiver, we struggle for release, and then it pecks out our eyes and intestines for sustenance, and we die the death of field mice.” This helplessness and horror are, I think, more true to my experience with a terminally ill loved one.
As for rivers, I live in a city of rivers. A confluence. I love the river, but it is icy, turbulent, deadly, dirty, full of rotting carcasses and ravenous leeches. Its wild will is its own.
I wish things could be so prescribed, so neat and tranquil and zen as described in the Smooth River. Yet, there is also a beauty in this savage chaos. Can I rip off pieces of its living flesh and squeeze them into spreadsheets? In some ways, if I wear my perceptual framework on my person everywhere I go, it is a suit of armor, keeping the world as it is locked out from my lived experience. When it comes to trauma, I guess that’s a good thing? Or is it?
I also questioned sometimes the smoothness of the river. How do you make it smooth? What elements are yours to control, and what controls you? I was reminded of this quote from Tommy Orange’s “There There,” which I also read recently: “We don’t have time…time has us. It holds us in its mouth like an owl holds a field mouse. We shiver, we struggle for release, and then it pecks out our eyes and intestines for sustenance, and we die the death of field mice.” This helplessness and horror are, I think, more true to my experience with a terminally ill loved one.
As for rivers, I live in a city of rivers. A confluence. I love the river, but it is icy, turbulent, deadly, dirty, full of rotting carcasses and ravenous leeches. Its wild will is its own.
I wish things could be so prescribed, so neat and tranquil and zen as described in the Smooth River. Yet, there is also a beauty in this savage chaos. Can I rip off pieces of its living flesh and squeeze them into spreadsheets? In some ways, if I wear my perceptual framework on my person everywhere I go, it is a suit of armor, keeping the world as it is locked out from my lived experience. When it comes to trauma, I guess that’s a good thing? Or is it?
February 1, 2022
"Lessons from the Front Line" caught my eye when I saw this long book title, "The Smooth River: Finding Inspiration and Exquisite Beauty during Terminal Illness. Lessons from the Front Line."
So many insights in this book are relatable and worthwhile. One of the biggest is how cancer has us playing the woulda-coulda-shoulda game. As Cohen writes,
"...the diagnosis turned us, for a short period, into detectives seeking clues or warning signs that we might have overlooked: 'If only Marcia saw a doctor months earlier when she was sleeping more than eight hours a day,” or “If only she took more notice of increasing fatigue.' It didn’t take long for us to realize that this woulda-coulda-shoulda syndrome is distracting and dangerous. It can draw you into a continuous cycle of self-rebuke and set a slippery slope descending the depressive scale. The fact is what is done is done, and we can only go forward."
"The Smooth River" is a good way of life for anyone. It's a lovely book. Marcia's final wishes include a desire to be forgiven for any offenses she commtitted, and assurances that she forgives all who might have done her wrong. Of course this is wise and wonderful and we should all be like this! Trouble is, millions of us are not--not even on our deathbeds. I've known people who carry anger and grudges to the grave, so this, too, is a line I would highlight and put on billboards--or to be more 21st Century, in a meme on social media:
"....the actualities of terminal illness reveal how superficial it is to center on anything except the patient’s well-being. There is no room for blame, no right to judge, no point in being critical. This is a time for love and personal growth. Period."
As Cohen notes, so many arguments among people seem based on an injury to our sense of honor. We need to "rise above family conflict and find a calmer altitude, to settle issues, or just let them pass and evaporate." Most of all, we all would do well to remember "The point: hug your kids, cuddle your spouse, embrace your relatives and friends, accept yourself. It will all vanish someday."
Some people find it harder than others to be kind and patient. I've witnessed this in grouchy cancer patients yelling at the staff or their family members: "It is nearly impossible to maintain a good quality of life when besieged by pain." Cohen's wife, Marcia, a well-known public relations expert, managed to be kind, compassionate, even upbeat and inspirational to the very end. "Showing appreciation for everyone in the chain of command, at every level, in every function, not only pays dividends, it’s the right thing to do... we always looked for ways to express our appreciation. We often brought donuts, bagels, or other gifts for the nurses, the security staff, and other personnel."
Lovely. Too many families are too distraught to think of this, or too deep in debt. Cancer is expensive. That's one angle not addressed in this book. We may think it was only fiction, but the high school teacher in "Breaking Bad" who sells meth to pay for his treatment does represent the lack of options for so many, especially when it comes to shopping around for a doctor who's a good fit. Not in America, not even in Germany, where my sister is battling Stage 4 Stomach Cancer.
The horror of medical malpractice is not in the scope of this book, so I will highlight its other strength, the part I liked best: Not everyone "beats" cancer, no matter how valiant their fight and their sheer willpower and determination. Putting too much stock in a "winning attitude" can create stigma or a sense of blame for the patient who contracted cancer, couldn't defeat it, and failed to deliver a Hollywood happy ending. one of the first things I noticed on social media is the new cliche, "You've got this."
Richard S. Cohen nails it in Chapter 2, counteracting the conventional wisdom that Attitude Is Everything. "While positive messaging can encourage patients to take an active role in their care, maintain a positive outlook, and partake in reasonable treatments, it's not the full picture," he writes. If you don't represent a cancer 'victory,' you may feel shunned, shamed, and alone.
"I really despise the metaphor of fighting a battle because I see people every day who are trying as hard as they can," oncology surgeon Mary Dilhoff relates. "I don't like people to think that if they just fight hard enough, this is something they can beat. This is an evil cancer, and it's going to do what it does."
People mean well, and want to send positive messages. All over social media, "Be strong" and "You can do it!" messages poured in for my sister. She wants to make a t-shirt saying "Yes, cancer sucks, but no, I don't GOT this."
Cohen and his wife Marcia "wanted to avoid running through a path of well-meaning cheerleaders, both medical and personal, telling us, "you can beat this,' only to find a cliff on the other side... We did not buy into the 'gotta have a good attitude' mantra. We did have a good attitude, but it was based on a deep reverence of the value of Marcia's life, not a mechanical act of fighting and ignoring ominous data."
One problem Cohen addresses is that even doctors tend to be guilty of avoidance and offering hope when there is none. Hope and positivity are great, but the downside is that your loved ones may undergo unnecessary, expensive, awful procedures in hopes of "beating" cancer.
We can put on blinders and keep trying to offer hope and encouragement while avoiding the prospect of death, or we can accept hard realities and take constructive action within the confines of what is feasible.
So many have survived cancer, it's almost expected that anyone 'with the right attitude' can beat it.
The first chapters really nail the suddenness of it all, the conventional sayings, platitudes, and attitudes. In all, 23 chapters deliver advice on choosing a doctor carefully, making spreadsheets to keep track of each day's meds and reactions, using a "portal" to communicate online with the medical team, writing a will and list of wishes as we prepare for the end, planning a funeral, with a lot of personal details about Marcia and her humanitarian legacy.
Lots of useful information and tips here, and yet, for the average reader, much of it is pie in the sky. Not everyone has a devoted spouse and supportive family, nor the means to put up park benches in pretty places with "In Memory of -" plaques to commemorate our lost loved one.
Also, most of us do not have the luxury of knowing, months ahead of time, that we are going to die. We do not get to say goodbye, nor tend to unfinished business, nor leave messages. In a way, people with a terminal illness are lucky, because they do get to tie up loose ends and say goodbye. Too many people I've known were alive one moment and gone the next: murder, car wrecks, heart attacks, a tree falling on a tent; crazy, unpredictable, unthinkable things; here one moment, then gone.
The "Smooth River" metaphor is great, but unlike Richard and Marcia, most of us do not have years of international business experience and negotiating skills and the financial means to pay for scenic walks on Florida beaches. Much less to build a vacation home on the beach.
The audience for this book is not as wide (dare I say inclusive?) as one might wish, and the focus is so much on the loveliness of Marcia, I found it increasingly difficult to relate. Among my extended family, we have a lung cancer patient who'd rather live alone in a cockroach infested Section 8 apartment than under the auspices of his children, who will not allow his smoking habit. We had a dialysis patient who couldn't quit drinking or smoking and finally died a terrible death, yanking out her breathing tube, not the peaceful passing you see in movies (and read of in this book).
Richard S. Cohen offers insights and consolations and wisdom, practical tips, and sound advice, but most Americans do not have the advantages and means (dare I say privilege?) that this very accomplished, successful, exemplary, and well-educated couple enjoyed.
I only wish the "Smooth River" were a mindset, attitude, or way of life that more people could readily adopt.
So many insights in this book are relatable and worthwhile. One of the biggest is how cancer has us playing the woulda-coulda-shoulda game. As Cohen writes,
"...the diagnosis turned us, for a short period, into detectives seeking clues or warning signs that we might have overlooked: 'If only Marcia saw a doctor months earlier when she was sleeping more than eight hours a day,” or “If only she took more notice of increasing fatigue.' It didn’t take long for us to realize that this woulda-coulda-shoulda syndrome is distracting and dangerous. It can draw you into a continuous cycle of self-rebuke and set a slippery slope descending the depressive scale. The fact is what is done is done, and we can only go forward."
"The Smooth River" is a good way of life for anyone. It's a lovely book. Marcia's final wishes include a desire to be forgiven for any offenses she commtitted, and assurances that she forgives all who might have done her wrong. Of course this is wise and wonderful and we should all be like this! Trouble is, millions of us are not--not even on our deathbeds. I've known people who carry anger and grudges to the grave, so this, too, is a line I would highlight and put on billboards--or to be more 21st Century, in a meme on social media:
"....the actualities of terminal illness reveal how superficial it is to center on anything except the patient’s well-being. There is no room for blame, no right to judge, no point in being critical. This is a time for love and personal growth. Period."
As Cohen notes, so many arguments among people seem based on an injury to our sense of honor. We need to "rise above family conflict and find a calmer altitude, to settle issues, or just let them pass and evaporate." Most of all, we all would do well to remember "The point: hug your kids, cuddle your spouse, embrace your relatives and friends, accept yourself. It will all vanish someday."
Some people find it harder than others to be kind and patient. I've witnessed this in grouchy cancer patients yelling at the staff or their family members: "It is nearly impossible to maintain a good quality of life when besieged by pain." Cohen's wife, Marcia, a well-known public relations expert, managed to be kind, compassionate, even upbeat and inspirational to the very end. "Showing appreciation for everyone in the chain of command, at every level, in every function, not only pays dividends, it’s the right thing to do... we always looked for ways to express our appreciation. We often brought donuts, bagels, or other gifts for the nurses, the security staff, and other personnel."
Lovely. Too many families are too distraught to think of this, or too deep in debt. Cancer is expensive. That's one angle not addressed in this book. We may think it was only fiction, but the high school teacher in "Breaking Bad" who sells meth to pay for his treatment does represent the lack of options for so many, especially when it comes to shopping around for a doctor who's a good fit. Not in America, not even in Germany, where my sister is battling Stage 4 Stomach Cancer.
The horror of medical malpractice is not in the scope of this book, so I will highlight its other strength, the part I liked best: Not everyone "beats" cancer, no matter how valiant their fight and their sheer willpower and determination. Putting too much stock in a "winning attitude" can create stigma or a sense of blame for the patient who contracted cancer, couldn't defeat it, and failed to deliver a Hollywood happy ending. one of the first things I noticed on social media is the new cliche, "You've got this."
Richard S. Cohen nails it in Chapter 2, counteracting the conventional wisdom that Attitude Is Everything. "While positive messaging can encourage patients to take an active role in their care, maintain a positive outlook, and partake in reasonable treatments, it's not the full picture," he writes. If you don't represent a cancer 'victory,' you may feel shunned, shamed, and alone.
"I really despise the metaphor of fighting a battle because I see people every day who are trying as hard as they can," oncology surgeon Mary Dilhoff relates. "I don't like people to think that if they just fight hard enough, this is something they can beat. This is an evil cancer, and it's going to do what it does."
People mean well, and want to send positive messages. All over social media, "Be strong" and "You can do it!" messages poured in for my sister. She wants to make a t-shirt saying "Yes, cancer sucks, but no, I don't GOT this."
Cohen and his wife Marcia "wanted to avoid running through a path of well-meaning cheerleaders, both medical and personal, telling us, "you can beat this,' only to find a cliff on the other side... We did not buy into the 'gotta have a good attitude' mantra. We did have a good attitude, but it was based on a deep reverence of the value of Marcia's life, not a mechanical act of fighting and ignoring ominous data."
One problem Cohen addresses is that even doctors tend to be guilty of avoidance and offering hope when there is none. Hope and positivity are great, but the downside is that your loved ones may undergo unnecessary, expensive, awful procedures in hopes of "beating" cancer.
We can put on blinders and keep trying to offer hope and encouragement while avoiding the prospect of death, or we can accept hard realities and take constructive action within the confines of what is feasible.
So many have survived cancer, it's almost expected that anyone 'with the right attitude' can beat it.
The first chapters really nail the suddenness of it all, the conventional sayings, platitudes, and attitudes. In all, 23 chapters deliver advice on choosing a doctor carefully, making spreadsheets to keep track of each day's meds and reactions, using a "portal" to communicate online with the medical team, writing a will and list of wishes as we prepare for the end, planning a funeral, with a lot of personal details about Marcia and her humanitarian legacy.
Lots of useful information and tips here, and yet, for the average reader, much of it is pie in the sky. Not everyone has a devoted spouse and supportive family, nor the means to put up park benches in pretty places with "In Memory of -" plaques to commemorate our lost loved one.
Also, most of us do not have the luxury of knowing, months ahead of time, that we are going to die. We do not get to say goodbye, nor tend to unfinished business, nor leave messages. In a way, people with a terminal illness are lucky, because they do get to tie up loose ends and say goodbye. Too many people I've known were alive one moment and gone the next: murder, car wrecks, heart attacks, a tree falling on a tent; crazy, unpredictable, unthinkable things; here one moment, then gone.
The "Smooth River" metaphor is great, but unlike Richard and Marcia, most of us do not have years of international business experience and negotiating skills and the financial means to pay for scenic walks on Florida beaches. Much less to build a vacation home on the beach.
The audience for this book is not as wide (dare I say inclusive?) as one might wish, and the focus is so much on the loveliness of Marcia, I found it increasingly difficult to relate. Among my extended family, we have a lung cancer patient who'd rather live alone in a cockroach infested Section 8 apartment than under the auspices of his children, who will not allow his smoking habit. We had a dialysis patient who couldn't quit drinking or smoking and finally died a terrible death, yanking out her breathing tube, not the peaceful passing you see in movies (and read of in this book).
Richard S. Cohen offers insights and consolations and wisdom, practical tips, and sound advice, but most Americans do not have the advantages and means (dare I say privilege?) that this very accomplished, successful, exemplary, and well-educated couple enjoyed.
I only wish the "Smooth River" were a mindset, attitude, or way of life that more people could readily adopt.
March 4, 2022
Another fitting memorial for Marcia.
It took longer to read this book because so often I could not read on through my tears. Intensely personal and moving, it also has universal messages of humanity, love and caring for others. The deep and enduring love between Marcia and Richard (her husband and author) is evident and the source of the "smooth river" that flows into the sea of possibilities. From the descriptions of her character, approach to people and problems, Marcia is a person I would like to have met. What you know of her through this book is inspiring and her ethos and influence clearly live on whilst her body is buried in the dark underground, her light continues to shine as her legacies are legion.
My only caveat is that this text and related resources are solely centred (out of necessity of location) on the USA and I wonder if the philosophy of the smooth river would be as easy to achieve for those with fewer financial resources and professional connections.
The smooth river philosophy in principle is transferrable as it advocates addressing the needs and wishes of the whole person in their body, mind and spirit where all too often the medical approach caters only for the body. Thinking and planning ahead with information, support and understanding options is part of the process, but it also requires a strong, resilient advocate as Richard proved to be. The mindset shift from fighting cancer (or whatever life-threatening diagnosis is given) with death being the determinant that you lost, to affirming and celebrating your achievements and the totality of your life being brought into savouring quality and positivity as the priorities is also part of the process.
The book is a reminder that our time on earth is a limited span, but it is inspiring to also gently prompt us to make the most of every day. I will make Marcia's eight wishes part of my own smooth river. Thank you, Marcia and Richard.
I received a free advance review copy , and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
It took longer to read this book because so often I could not read on through my tears. Intensely personal and moving, it also has universal messages of humanity, love and caring for others. The deep and enduring love between Marcia and Richard (her husband and author) is evident and the source of the "smooth river" that flows into the sea of possibilities. From the descriptions of her character, approach to people and problems, Marcia is a person I would like to have met. What you know of her through this book is inspiring and her ethos and influence clearly live on whilst her body is buried in the dark underground, her light continues to shine as her legacies are legion.
My only caveat is that this text and related resources are solely centred (out of necessity of location) on the USA and I wonder if the philosophy of the smooth river would be as easy to achieve for those with fewer financial resources and professional connections.
The smooth river philosophy in principle is transferrable as it advocates addressing the needs and wishes of the whole person in their body, mind and spirit where all too often the medical approach caters only for the body. Thinking and planning ahead with information, support and understanding options is part of the process, but it also requires a strong, resilient advocate as Richard proved to be. The mindset shift from fighting cancer (or whatever life-threatening diagnosis is given) with death being the determinant that you lost, to affirming and celebrating your achievements and the totality of your life being brought into savouring quality and positivity as the priorities is also part of the process.
The book is a reminder that our time on earth is a limited span, but it is inspiring to also gently prompt us to make the most of every day. I will make Marcia's eight wishes part of my own smooth river. Thank you, Marcia and Richard.
I received a free advance review copy , and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
October 25, 2021
Smooth River is a beautiful book about a man and his wife and how they managed to weather the storm through her stage 4 pancreatic cancer diagnosis. As they go through her cancer treatment, they adopt the idea of Smooth River; a type of thinking that allows peace, dignity and safe-harbor guidance. It talks about destigmatizing death and allowing for all to have mindful and normalizing end of life talks, education and considerations.
One thing that I really enjoyed about this book is that it talks about how even medical professionals are afraid to talk about the after-life or end of life. The facts he gives in chapter two are very gripping in detailing how many cancer patients or terminally ill patients don't have an actual understanding of their care or their life expectancy. The author stresses the need to have medical professionals practice empathy and care about the patients. Don't just care for them. I also enjoyed how he talks about the usage of words such as "win", "lose", "fight", to talk about defeating cancer. He discusses that him and his wife did fight, but even though she died of cancer, she didn't "lose to" cancer. She had a good life and that is a win. In the end, his wife's death was peaceful, calm and loving like a smooth river. Even after her death, they were able to mindfully practice smooth river.
Overall I gave this book a 5. The writing was excellent and I think this is a great book that anyone can read. The journey of Richard and Marcia over 160 days is very profound and gives peace to the reader on accepting death while also trying to treat the malady. Instead of avoidance or fear, there is acceptance. Honestly this book made me cry and makes me want to create my own life plan. Smooth River also has a great list of resources. It truly is a great book that I would expect to be at oncology centers, in hospice, and good for anyone to read.
One thing that I really enjoyed about this book is that it talks about how even medical professionals are afraid to talk about the after-life or end of life. The facts he gives in chapter two are very gripping in detailing how many cancer patients or terminally ill patients don't have an actual understanding of their care or their life expectancy. The author stresses the need to have medical professionals practice empathy and care about the patients. Don't just care for them. I also enjoyed how he talks about the usage of words such as "win", "lose", "fight", to talk about defeating cancer. He discusses that him and his wife did fight, but even though she died of cancer, she didn't "lose to" cancer. She had a good life and that is a win. In the end, his wife's death was peaceful, calm and loving like a smooth river. Even after her death, they were able to mindfully practice smooth river.
Overall I gave this book a 5. The writing was excellent and I think this is a great book that anyone can read. The journey of Richard and Marcia over 160 days is very profound and gives peace to the reader on accepting death while also trying to treat the malady. Instead of avoidance or fear, there is acceptance. Honestly this book made me cry and makes me want to create my own life plan. Smooth River also has a great list of resources. It truly is a great book that I would expect to be at oncology centers, in hospice, and good for anyone to read.
October 28, 2021
As the wife of a Stage 3 Pancreatic patient and a Nurse Practitioner with 20 years practicing in long term care & Hospice, I found this book both supportive and eye opening. We have done most of the detail work of organizing, researching and being a managing partner in this disease journey. This book (we both are reading) has brought us to realizing we have more work to do in the realm of communication and identifying his personal goals moving along this path. Even as a seasoned medical professional, it can be hard work opening difficult topics and have meaningful dialog so close to home. I know there are many parts I will reread and refer back to as we go forward.
November 2, 2021
Worth reading! A compelling personal journey with practical insightful advice.
Richard Cohen writes clearly and coherently about his wife Marcia’s experience with terminal pancreatic cancer. It is a moving, gripping story. Woven into this story, Richard shares in clear, helpful terms their distinctive approach towards how to deal with the challenges of that short period…. how they had a “Life Plan” in addition to a “Medical Plan.” There are lessons for all of us in what he shares.
Richard Cohen writes clearly and coherently about his wife Marcia’s experience with terminal pancreatic cancer. It is a moving, gripping story. Woven into this story, Richard shares in clear, helpful terms their distinctive approach towards how to deal with the challenges of that short period…. how they had a “Life Plan” in addition to a “Medical Plan.” There are lessons for all of us in what he shares.
October 12, 2024
The author tells the story of losing his wife to cancer and offers tips for others dealing with terminal illness. I wanted to love this more than I did. It's really more of a memoir and tribute to the author's wife than it is a book with tips for dealing with illness. It is obvious that the author loved his wife beyond measure and that he was very proud of her accomplishments. It does highlight some of the difficulties involved in navigating the US medical system.
January 24, 2022
necessary read
Sad but true. The events in this writing are necessary to hear but difficult to read. Life happens. This was an excellent way to show how to cope through a difficult situation. Cancer is a scary disease and I will be using the website provided for my own family. The author did a great job. I am sadden they had this experience
Sad but true. The events in this writing are necessary to hear but difficult to read. Life happens. This was an excellent way to show how to cope through a difficult situation. Cancer is a scary disease and I will be using the website provided for my own family. The author did a great job. I am sadden they had this experience
December 21, 2024
Beautiful book
I was recently diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. This book helped me gain perspective. It's beautifully written. I recommend this book to anyone dealing with terminal illness.
I was recently diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. This book helped me gain perspective. It's beautifully written. I recommend this book to anyone dealing with terminal illness.
November 7, 2021
Powerful
Very touching story, any time this terminal disease is mentioned it send shiver to many coz we have been directly or indirectly been affected by it.
Very touching story, any time this terminal disease is mentioned it send shiver to many coz we have been directly or indirectly been affected by it.
November 15, 2021
I recommend this book whether or not you have a medical crisis in your family. It is thought provoking and held my attention throughout. The writing is excellent.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews