The Zoo of Intelligent Animals

The Cleremont Conjectures #2

by D.A. Holdsworth

IF THE TICKET IS FREE, IT MEANS YOU'RE THE ATTRACTION

London, 1977.

Year of the Silver Jubilee, the Sex Pistols – and a spate of unexplained disappearances from across the academic world.

Elizabeth Belfort, a young agent with a stellar career and a stale marriage, is urgently dispatched to bring in an elusive government informant.

But she soon finds herself drawn into the mysterious world of this informant and his family as they embark on a rescue mission. New horizons and new loves start to overturn her well-ordered life. Before long, she is travelling across galaxies to confront an alien race, who’ve taken a special interest in planet Earth and its primary intelligent species. They’ve even made a special home for some of them.

In a zoo.

Fast-paced, thrilling and inventive, The Zoo of Intelligent Animals is the prequel to the bestselling How to Buy a Planet. Offering the same combination of satire and adventure, this novel is perfect for fans of Matt Haig, Neil Gaiman, or Erin Morgenstern.

Genres: Science Fiction, Humor, Fantasy, Fiction, Aliens, Science Fiction Fantasy, Ebooks

449 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 26, 2021

About the author

Scorpio - resident of Oxfordshire - writer of political satire. In my first two novels the satire happened to emerge in the form of sci-fi - but next time, who knows. Could be fantasy, could be something else.

Am feeling a bit pigeon-holed by Goodreads, because I actually come on here for other people's books, not my own. Reviews are my hobby - reading yours, writing mine. I spend a silly amount of time on them - thinking about what I'm going to say, saying it, and then reflecting on what I've said. It's pointless work, but someone's gotta do it.

I'm a slow reader, so still working my way through the classics. I take 'em one at a time and try to wring out every concealed meaning, spotting all nine out of three things the author's hidden. I branch out occasionally into areas of personal interest. Books on trauma have been a big thing for me lately. Before that it was books on bankers (Why you may ask. Indeed.) Not sure what'll be next. Maybe travel.

Feel free to friend me. I enjoy interaction on GR and absolutely guarantee I won't ask you to review any of my own books or nonsense like that. Friend requests from other slow readers particularly welcome. We're rare as rubies here, we need to stick together.

Oh, and my ratings system. It's a bit unconventional:
⭐ I never give stars out in singles, they give authors a turn (even the ones in their grave)
⭐⭐ Ditto
⭐⭐⭐ Hasn't really impressed me, but okay.
⭐⭐⭐⭐Works nicely.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Hell yeah. This'll be anything from pretty-damn-good to thank-you-for-changing-my-life.

Books do change lives, don't they? It's been happening to me quite a lot lately.

Reviews

[Baba · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was kindly given a copy of this book in exchange for a fair review, so big thank you. Successful upwardly careering Government agent Elizabeth Belfort is tasked with liaising with an informant looking into the disappearance of notable scientists, possibly from all around the world! This is just the beginning of what at times felt like a tongue-in-cheek adventure, that leads to the central story about a Zoo of intelligent animals! Also this all kicks off in the 1970s!

I found some of the world building and characters pretty pretty good, but not so much the main story plotting, although I did adore the first quarter (scene-setting) of the book. Overall, I found the protagonists too infallible and the antagonists too dumb, but that could be, and probably was, intentional. But what bothered me the most was the plastering of the 1970s all over the book blurbs and promos, when the 1970s were hardly touched in this book. Then again I can most certainly see my self getting the first book in the series, as I do kind of like this reality!

I always feel whole loads of bad when I give a low Star review for a gifted a book (it's why I mostly refuse their offers), but I have to stay honest and true; what I really should have done is read all the book blurb as it included the following: "this novel is perfect for fans of Matt Haig, Neil Gaiman, or Erin Morgenstern", because I am very much NOT a fan of Gaiman and Morgenstern's long form novels, so it could be easily argued that I am exactly the type of person that wouldn't like this book? Sorry... you may have to read this one yourself for a better inkling of it all!

[Lisa A. Burt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I chose this book strictly because of its intriguing title. It's a quirky, fun read and I really enjoyed it. Plan to read the next in this series. I noticed there are quite a few typos on the electronic version.

[Miles Row · Rating 1 out of 5]

I might have missed something but Christianity, polytheism and revolution bits jarred. Can't tell if it is just badly edited or intentional but felt like it reduced civilisations and epochs too much which can get problematic.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sci-fi, but make it comedy. I have not read the first in this series, but it's on my list now to read. I loved the quirky characters & enjoyed the premise of a sketchy alien race abducting humans for a zoo. All in all a fun read.

[Karen JH · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book! Prequel to How to Buy a Planet. I enjoyed it as much. Set in the 1970s and fills in the backstory of the key characters, introduces new ones and weaves its own unique interplanetary adventure. Would recommend.

[Steve Ware · Rating 5 out of 5]

A truly enjoyable read.

A wonderful backstory to the first book. D. A. Holdsworth is an amazing storyteller. Looking forward to the next story.

[Laszlo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was even better than the first volume.

[One Man Book Club · Rating 5 out of 5]

Check out my blog, One Man Book Club

The Value of a Star: Ratings Explained

How to Buy a Planet (The Cleremont Conjectures, Book 1)
The Zoo if Intelligent Animals (The Cleremont Conjectures, Book 2)
By: D.A. Holdsworth
My Rating: Four out of Five Stars
Best for: 16 and up

Ah, satire...

I read these books backwards.

The idea of reading book 2 before book 1 would normally cause my heart to beat faster and my palms to sweat, but I did it. I saw that book 2, The Zoo of Intelligent Animals, was actually a prequal to book 1, How to Buy a Planet, and I don't typically LIKE prequals. But in this case, the prequal was better reviewed and seemed to have a more interesting story, so…I read it first.

Did I make the right call? For me, yes. Book 1 was pretty okay, but I probably wouldn't have felt the need to read book 2. And that would have been sad.

So, let's talk about The Cleremont Conjectures. Beginning with Book 2.

These are highly original first contacts stories, and I was surprised at how fresh and fun they were. In The Zoo of Intelligent Animals, it's 1977, SETI has detected ET, and the British government is in a panic to figure out how to respond. As the key players begin to establish themselves, we learn first contact isn't actually first contact, and a small group has already been talking with THEM for years. Turns out THEY'VE been kidnapping and relocating us--to a Zoo on another planet.

Yep. Humans are the main attraction at the galaxy's number one tourist destination.

Clearly, an intergalactic rescue operation is the obvious course of action. Antics ensue. The unknown universe becomes known. Fun is had. (For the reader, not so much for the characters…)

How to Buy a Planet takes place in post-pandemic 2024. The governments of the world are deeply in debt due to the pandemic-that-must-not-be-named, and…we're all teetering on the edge of collapse. Luckily, our world leaders are united in obviously the best of all solutions: They've sold Earth.

Thanks to the irresistibly cute aliens, the whole planet agrees: selling the planet was a stroke of genius.

Luckily, three London college students with no money--but lots of all the other hero qualities--have a chance meeting with the one Professor on Earth who has prior experience with our knew extraterrestrial landlords (see the previously-mentioned prequal) who knows there's something fishy. They team up to figure out the truth, and end up with a crash course in space travel and intergalactic economics so they (hopefully) save us from ourselves before Earth is destroyed.

So, what'd I think? I loved book 2 and I liked book 1. How to Buy a Planet is intended to be satire, but the soapbox stance on responsible economics was a little too in-your-face for me. I don't love to be preached to without warning, regardless of if I agree or not. I expected some clever message, subtly told through a fun story. Instead I got a lesson on the foibles of modern economics delivered via sledge hammer.

Other than that, I was pleasantly surprised by the quality and originality of both stories, and I recommend both books. If I could go back in time and advise myself on reading book 1 or book 2 first, I'd say to go ahead and read them in publication order, but to not be jaded by the annoying parts of book 1. I think I actually might have enjoyed book 2 more knowing what happened with book 1. So, there you go. Advice you didn't ask for.

I write book reviews. It's what I do.

No content concerns. Mild language, no explicit sex or violence. The books are a bit dense and deal with the grown up world…I don't see young teens really getting into these. I'll say best for 16 and up.

Happy Reading!

[Robert Fontenot · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are those out there who will love this book, but unfortunately it was just not for me. I have not read the book to which this is a prequel, so I don’t know how many of the characters/situations are related. Perhaps that prequel status to why this book is se in the 1970s, a fact the author is careful to remind you of repeatedly. It might also be set in the 70s as an homage to that era’s Doctor Who, a program to which this novel is a great debt and to which it bears a strong resemblance in all the wrong ways. The pacing is glacial, the settings are generic and somehow seem low budget, even on the page, there is a plucky young woman to whom everything must be explained by an older much more knowledgeable man, usually in condescending ways, the aliens are mildly off putting in their design (a third nostril!), and the premise would make an interesting short story but is stretched to the breaking point.
Perhaps this is just a genre that I don’t have a high tolerance for. Again, some people will love this book and more power to them.

[Tom Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Noted academics are being mysteriously abducted, leading a government employees to a mysterious adventurer and his friends and on an adventure that would take them to other worlds.

This is apparently a prequel to the author's prior novel, which I had not read. It turns out not to be necessary as this book stands very much on its own. It's not a particularly groundbreaking novel, nor does it felt on high concepts. However, it is a solid sci-fi adventure story and, pleasantly for me, somewhat of a throwback to the type of genre adventure stories from the sixties and seventies, particularly ones from Great Britain. The protagonists are modern but carry themselves like characters from a bygone age, yet with a timeless quality, reminiscent of the lead characters from shows like "The Avengers" (John Steed's, not Tony Stark's) and "Doctor Who".And it follows a proven formula from those stories, introducing us to a seemingly established world through the eyes of an outsider.

The story moves along at just the right pace, allowing the reader to get to know the characters and follow them through the mystery of the abductions and the revelations and action that follows. I found the characters quite endearing, fitting into familiar character types, but each with just enough additional depth to make them relatable. The plot itself isn't overly original, but the characters ang the breezy writing are what really carry this book.

Ultimately, this is a ripping yarn, and has me interested in checking out the book which came before it.

Thanks to Goodreads and the publisher for the giveaway copy!

[Andy Coleman · Rating 3 out of 5]

A SIMPLE MAN'S REVIEW:

It's a fun read, not really related to the first book (How to Buy a Planet), other than the silly, English-style writing. There's not much depth but the zoo had some interesting aspects.

The one thing that made this less enjoyable than it could have been was the main character, Elizabeth. Granted, the story takes place in the '70s, but still, she was not written well. At times she's a feminist, coming up in a "man's world", but then she's a blubbering mess that is incapable of controlling her emotions. She falls in love with the first similarly-aged man, even though he's more child-like than man-like, and it's supposed to be romantic? That part was actually the worst, because none of the story needed that aspect to it, and she could have just been another member of the team.

If you enjoy this author's writing, then don't let that stop you from reading it. They can do better next time.

Read it!

[Coralee Hicks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Holdsworth offers another romp through the eyes of the agents of Claremont House. This novel is set in the year of Queen Elizabeth's Silver Juhilee. (1977) The Sex Pistols are rockin' and academics are disappearing. Elizabeth Belfort, a great agent for Claremont but one who has landed in a marred marriage must unravel the puzzle.

And we are off, the style is fast paced and laugh out loud funny for the lovers of the absurd. Douglas Adams would be pleased. Happily the plot is not just beer and skittles. It also contains a good helping of suspense along with a wry look at the political workings in academia. Highly recommended.
I hope Book 3 is in the works.

[F. C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Space aliens and Cerberus?

In this prequel to D.A. Holdsworth’s How to Buy a Planet, we meet the Professor and Mrs. B some 40 years before the first book’s events, and as they meet each other.

This is a less madcap tale, as Mr. Holdsworth takes on a darker theme, although it’s still told in a lighthearted manner, although I know, it’s hard to argue that kidnapping and holding humans in zoos is that much darker than planning to largely eradicate humanity altogether. It’s also the case that with this second book his writing has improved and his characters are better written. I’m looking forward to the next adventure of Mrs. B and the Professor.

Recommended.

[Luc Lefere · Rating 2 out of 5]

Actually DNF and gave up about halfway through. Just too formulaic. The baddies are just too unanimously evil, incompetent and generally no match for the good ones who make James Bond seem an incompetent fool and Mother Theresa like Genghis Khan. Also, if you read the first instalment of this series, you have more or less read this one. Finally, it is also quite repetitive in that the way Elizabeth for example feels about being on Ormilu (I think that how you spell it) is repeated several times over, to the point of making you feel 'I know, now get on with it'.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book much more than the first in the series: How to Buy a Planet
The author added more depth to the characaters, and seemed to have sharpeneed his writing style.

When I stop to think about it, this and the previous book have a lot of morality subtext about the greed.

[Daniel Abrams · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's "PLANET OF THE APES" meets Marvel's "THOR: RAGNAROK" with a bit of Vonnegut’s "SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE."
Set in the same universe but different prequel time(s) as his wildly inventive "HOW TO BUY A PLANET" sci-fi novel, this book is fun and entertaining but less madcap.
For me, it's more compelling and more sophisticated regarding philosophical themes and implications. As the cover art suggests, if you like "THE GREAT ESCAPE" and smart sci-fi, then this is for you. So fraking good!

[Mark Lucas-Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Zoo of Intelligent Animals

I very nearly gave this 5* but to be honest with myself there was something not totally there for me. Perhaps it was the feeling that it all played out to perfectly.
Having stated that I did enjoy the book and would definitely read more by the author.

[Jeffrey Hyler · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was an interesting concept. I remember watching a twilight zone or outer limits episode that involved a couple that landed on a planet and we’re putting a cage. It was similar, but in this everyone got saved. It was slow at times and and it took a while to get to the point. It was worth a read, but wasn’t one of my all-time favorite sci-fi books.

[C I KESZEI · Rating 5 out of 5]

An unusual and encapsulating read

I really enjoyed the first book and this one is no different. Other than being completely different but on the same level of quality - characters, storyline, just brilliant and warming.
Highly recommended reading.

[David Mcconnell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of fun

This was a fun read and I enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed “How to buy a planet”. This story takes place earlier than How to buy … but either can be read first. I await further books in this series.

[Nia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inventive story

I enjoyed the incentive stories in both of Goldsworthy books.
I did find it silent over descriptive, especially when rising a character's emotions of describing a scene.
The stories are very entertaining and fun.

[Marney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining. The first third of the book is a bit chaotic and confusing, but this works well because the main character is confused. The reader learns as Elizabeth learns. The book gets more absorbing as it goes on. Some minor editing errors. Overall I would recommend this book.

[Daniel Deitch · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Great Adventure

This is a great Science Fiction fantasy adventure. Characters are fun and interesting but it missed the fifth star by a little bit for reasons that are hard to explain by some of the style in the writing during the middle of the book

[Selden T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

terrific story & moral tale

Great plot & characters give the fantastic story a reality & warning about contact with vastly different cultures that may be very unfriendly dominating & cruel similar to ourselves.

[Beth Butler · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was quite confused on the beginning but once I got past the character introduction the book was great. I don't usually read sci fi but found the human zoo to be very interesting. The interaction between and various alien species was well done. And of course a happy ending.

[Beverly · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, I did not find this read as endearing as some. There were parts that I enjoyed but other parts where I lost all continuity and was really confused about what was going on. Just not my cup of tea, I guess.

[Michael McPherson · Rating 5 out of 5]

not your usual sci-fi, but a very gripping read
I also read How to Buy a Planet - another great read
I just hope there's more to come :)

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quite compelling

I thoroughly enjoyed the story. I was a little surprised to see Greek mythology passed off as Roman, but otherwise a very compelling story.

[Dr G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Its nice, but bit stretced and humour was missing unlike its sequel,

[Marite Bocchino · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unique adventure

This is an imaginative tale of adventure and friendship, aliens and differing points of view.
The descriptions paint vivid scenes.