How Not to Murder your ADHD Kid: Instead learn how to be your child's own ADHD coach

by Sarah Templeton

Desperate for help with your ADHD children Tearing your hair out trying to understand why they dont react or behave like other kids Wanting to do the right thing but not a clue what that is Help is at hand! Sarah Templeton, a therapist with ADHD herself, has written this book after working with 100s of ADHD parents from all over the UK, who have told her if only Id known all this stuff while they were growing up Well now all this information is in one place in an easy-to-read format. Skip straight to whatever issue youre struggling with right now. Space to make notes of what works and what doesnt (handy for when Grannys babysitting or they go to Dads for the weekend) and real-life examples of what worked, what didnt, and why. Recommended by ADHD psychiatrists, ADHD pediatricians, SEN teachers, ADHD parents and ADHD teenage clients. For anyone coming into contact with ADHD kids including mums, dads, brothers, sisters, nans, grandads, uncles and aunties and professionals. Find out where your Childs ADHD came from. Find out about the three different kinds of ADHD. Discover the 30+ ADHD traits nobody ever told you about. Learn how to best handle 30+ situations you may well find yourself in with your ADHD child. Read real-life examples where therapeutic strategies and different ways of doing things have turned ADHD houses of horror into oasis of calm and serenity. Sarah Templeton is an English Counsellor, CBT Therapist, and Coach, who has specialised in ADHD since her own shock diagnosis at the age of fifty-one Sarah has worked in four English prisons and been dismayed at the number of diagnosed, but more often undiagnosed ADHD kids who end up in prison. She witnessed for herself how unmanaged ADHD adolescents can fail catastrophically at school, often leading them to experiment with drugs or alcohol and fall so easily into a life of addiction, unemployment homelessness and crime.

Genres: Adhd, Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Audiobook, Mental Health

186 pages, Paperback

Published April 2, 2021

About the author

Sarah Templeton is a dedicated counselor with personal experience of ADHD, which has fueled her commitment to understanding and helping ADHD teens. With an extensive background working in both prison and private practice, she is a trusted voice in ADHD counseling and family support, known for her deep empathy and practical approach.

Reviews

[Nicky Mason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very informative, many lightbulb, aha moments and some good recommendations at the end. A realistic woman with ADHD herself which made her more relatable... some of the reward systems seemed a little overboard to me. But i liked how it helped me to recognise more of the traits of ADHD. I'm going to keep researching this subject and getting as much information as I can. I just wish we all had access to councillor's like her.

[Sara Tackett · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is easy to read but otherwise disappointing. If you have ADHD, live with someone with it, or have read any book ever on ADHD, you probably know most of what's in the book already. The rest is questionable. Generalizations and statements are made without any citations. The author is clearly anti-thc. A section is dedicated to boys and weed, and the book includes a line about weed leading to heroin. The author also makes comments on symptoms/experiences specific to boys with ADHD, but again never provides sources or explains that they are using generalizations. The information seems to be purely anecdotal.

[Betsy Smith · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book came so highly recommended, but really let me down…surface level, mostly anecdotal, and relying almost exclusively on bribing ADHD children to comply rather than equipping them with the tools necessary for success. The author’s heart is 100% in the right place, but overall I did not find this to be a helpful resource.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant, clear, helpful advice, non judgemental

[Louise Hammett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant.
My son was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago, it was very clear to me that that was what his condition was but I didn’t understand it, I knew about it, I knew what traits he had and what he was like but I couldn’t explain why he does the things he does.
Reading this book has given me unbelievable insight to my sons brain and how it works, which feels like a super power into helping him to get the help and understanding he needs to thrive.
I am so grateful for this book. My husband will read it next then my parents and any other people who come into regular contact with my son will be asked to read it or I will send them key pages from it!
100% recommend!

[Sharon Sparrow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for saving us! Now I’m going to get my family to read it too. Understanding is key, you can find and research lots of information but this book written by somebody with ADHD has just helped me completely understand my daughters brain and given me hope all is not lost. Thank you.

[Rose]

My notes/memory jogger

https://imgur.com/a/kJX6qs5

[Minnie . · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book out of pure curiosity.
These days, almost every family I speak to seems to be talking about ADHD, so I genuinely wanted to understand what it really means and how parents are expected to support their children.

One of the strengths of this book is that it is short, crisp, and straight to the point.
The author clearly reinforces that shouting, screaming, blaming, and constant complaining simply do not work with children — a message that is repeated often enough to make sure parents truly absorb it.
However, I couldn’t help but wonder: where are parents supposed to develop the patience, emotional regulation, and self-awareness required to consistently apply this approach?
The book highlights the “what,” but not enough of the “how” for parents themselves.

What disappointed me most was the strong narrative that ADHD brains are “just like that,” with medication positioned almost as the primary solution — despite its potentially extreme side effects.
There was little to no mention of alternative or complementary approaches such as meditation, breath-work or yoga.

Had I read this book four or six years ago, I might have labelled almost everyone around me — including myself — as ADHD. At times, it felt like many common and negatively perceived human behaviors could easily be placed under the ADHD umbrella. Take a few childhood behaviors that simply need co-regulation, guidance, and emotional support from parents, and you can easily diagnose the child as ADHD.

I am grateful to the author for offering a quick introduction and awareness around ADHD.
It certainly provides a starting point for understanding. At the same time, I felt it missed important dimensions — especially the role of lifestyle in shaping attention and behaviour.

The book also doesn’t explore enough about children and adults who develop ADHD-like symptoms due to learned patterns, over-stimulation, stress — areas where conscious parenting, self-awareness, and holistic approaches could play a powerful role.

Overall, this book offers a useful snapshot of ADHD and parenting strategies, but may leave some important questions unanswered.

[Gina Mallica · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5, rounding down.

What I like about this book: The author presents an exhaustive list of ADHD traits in an easy to understand way. There were many I had not heard of before, or at least I didn't consider to be a symptom of ADHD. Also, as an American I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the audiobook, read by the author.

What I do not like: You can tell the author is childless, because while she is talented & qualified in the field of ADHD, counseling children & spending time with nieces & nephews is not the same as raising children 24/7. A lot of the advice is just not practical in my opinion. Also, I do not like that by the end of the book medication is painted as the only real solution. The author herself was not diagnosed until later in life, meaning she was able to gain employment & successfully navigate relationships (& stay out of jail - which is a big theme in this book) without medication, even if she wishes in hindsight that her upbringing were different.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely adore this book! Sarah has an incredible ability to connect with readers through her unique and engaging writing style. She masterfully balances technical information with storytelling, making the text both lighthearted and captivating. Despite the entertaining tone, the book is packed with a wealth of scientific insights and practical advice that are easy to apply in real life.

After trying some of the techniques Sarah suggests with my own family, I was blown away by the almost instantaneous results. Her strategies are actionable, thoughtful, and empowering for parents navigating the challenges of raising a child with ADHD. I’ve already recommended this book to several other parents, and they’ve found it just as transformative.

Thank you, Sarah, for writing such a thoughtful and practical guide. I’m eagerly looking forward to your next book! Abigail

[Sara Shelley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very informative book. I think that it would be good for parents new to the ADHD diagnosis. I have don’t ALOT of research and really have tried reaching my child on his level. The main thing I took from the book was, I’m doing a pretty good job! It’s always good to read and re read and learn new points of view. I actually learned more about my husband and his behavior from this book. I could have added some things that I have discovered and that have helped my moderate to severe ADHD combined kiddo. But over all it was a good book with good ideas and suggestions.

[Iona Kroussoratsky · Rating 4 out of 5]

A large part of the book was a range of different ways of encouraging incentives for your ADHD child, and to ask more questions before jumping to rebuke. The last few chapters I found the most helpful where the author dipped into different ways the ADHD brain can be processing information and how CBT can help them reduce the frustration and communicate more clearly. The author was also very honest about medication and the pluses and minuses. Very helpful book for any parent navigating these things - take what is helpful, and leave what is not.

[Yalls Richards-Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought it was excellent. The book gives a great explanation on what to look for if you suspect your child has ADHD. As an ND parent I don't think it will help me manage my child's adhd. It may be a good guide for NT parents though. If someone were to ask how do you know you have adhd, I'd give them this book and say 90% of what's in here is me.

[Natelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Felt like learning a bit of English jargon while learning how to help a child cope with ADHD. She includes lots of tips and real life scenarios. She also ended each chapter with a quick recap for when you're trying to recall what you read about a certain attribute. Hopefully, we can put this good advice into action and help our child succeed.

[Lesa Hudak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to it. If you are not ADHD and are looking for something to help you understand your child(ren), this is a great read. Sarah is incredibly relatable as she shares about herself and what she has learned over the years of working with ADHD children.
Lots of great tips and suggestions in this book.

[Sara Cooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

A definite read

Great book and information that really helps you understand your child, highly recommend family members read this book. The information is very practical that you can use the same day.

[Karyn Tait · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mum of a child with ADHD, I can’t recommend this book highly enough!
The authors insights are amazing! She is a Counsellor who has combined type ADHD (moderate to severe) but was not diagnosed until she was 51!
I listened to the audiobook and it was like listening to someone who knew my 6 year old!
I have learned so much from this!
Everything is explained in easy to understand terminology!
A must read/listen for anyone involved with individuals who have ADHD - parents, care givers, family, teachers!!!
5 stars isn’t enough!

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book.
Super easy to read and completely engaging. Helping me to understand (myself!!) my son and his actions and approaches to things.

Read on kindle and have now bought a paper copy so that I can flick back and forwards, make notes etc.

[Tan Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fantastic!
So informative and really loaded me with alot of information to really help me understand and empathise with my ADHD child.
Has made a world of difference in the way I now parent.

[V J Walmsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so refreshing and a must read for any parent/carer of a child who may have, or has a diagnosis of ADHD.

I would also highly recommend it for any teachers who would like to get a better understanding of how the ADHD brain works, and how to support any pupil who may have ADHD.

[Ellie Fillbrook · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book and so helpful to support parents, carers and teachers with their ADHDers!

[Christine Marcelino · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great resource!

[Nikki Rome · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read and listened to a ton of books but this one really hit home and helped me better understand both of my children

[Kerri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Terrible title, but super useful little book both for mindset changes and interventions that parents can use with their kids with ADHD.

[Tracy Peters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots of helpful things to look out for but got fed up with author keep telling me 'don't even think about...'

[Fran Parr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Many lightbulb moments throughout thus book. I read it to help my daughter but realised it sounds very like me. Great read for any parent struggling with an ADHD child.

[Elisabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Completely recommend 100% if you or a child have ADHD. The author is hilarious and it was a very entertaining read as well as being very informative.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant day informative book

[Molly Gudger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot tell you how helpful I found this book. I think about it every single day.

[Stephanie Gust · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reassuring book for parents of adhd children. Easy to listen to. Very helpful for my husband who struggles with arguing with our adhd child.