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No Perfect Parents: Ditch Expectations, Embrace Reality, and Discover the One Secret That Will Change Your Parenting
Following the wildly popular Vertical Marriage with the same charming, relatable dialogue between mom and dad, bestselling authors and national hosts of FamilyLife Today Dave and Ann Wilson dive headlong into the monumental task of parenting in the 21st century.
Raising kids with hearts for Christ may be the hardest thing you ever try to do, but it's also the most important thing. Packed with funny and honest stories, compelling illustrations, biblical insight, and practical steps you can put into practice today, this hands-on parenting manual will encourage and equip every parent through any stage.
Founders of a multi-campus church and family coaches with 30 years of experience, Dave and Ann share the hard-earned but easy-to-apply principles that ensure a strong parent-to-child relationship and a strong foundation for your child. You'll get a front-row seat to the multidimensional nature of parenting through a conversational back and forth between Mom and Dad and even comments from their adult sons on what worked, what didn't work, and why. An inspiring and resourceful guide, Vertical Parenting will cover essential topics like learning to discipline without losing your mind or causing more chaos, the parenting guilt trip, the teen years, and the top five parenting mistakes.
For parents and couples preparing to have children, Dave and Ann offer hope and strategies that really work, and some that didn't. Vertical Parenting will let you into the real, even raw, struggles and joys of raising kids that can impact their generation in a powerful way.
To get the legacy that you've been praying for, start here. Your kids will thank you later.
Raising kids with hearts for Christ may be the hardest thing you ever try to do, but it's also the most important thing. Packed with funny and honest stories, compelling illustrations, biblical insight, and practical steps you can put into practice today, this hands-on parenting manual will encourage and equip every parent through any stage.
Founders of a multi-campus church and family coaches with 30 years of experience, Dave and Ann share the hard-earned but easy-to-apply principles that ensure a strong parent-to-child relationship and a strong foundation for your child. You'll get a front-row seat to the multidimensional nature of parenting through a conversational back and forth between Mom and Dad and even comments from their adult sons on what worked, what didn't work, and why. An inspiring and resourceful guide, Vertical Parenting will cover essential topics like learning to discipline without losing your mind or causing more chaos, the parenting guilt trip, the teen years, and the top five parenting mistakes.
For parents and couples preparing to have children, Dave and Ann offer hope and strategies that really work, and some that didn't. Vertical Parenting will let you into the real, even raw, struggles and joys of raising kids that can impact their generation in a powerful way.
To get the legacy that you've been praying for, start here. Your kids will thank you later.
Audiobook
Published April 13, 2021
44 people are currently reading
422 people want to read
About the author
Dave Wilson
2 books6 followersDave and Ann Wilson are co-founders at Kensington Church, a national, multi-campus church that hosts more than 14,000 attendees every weekend. For the past twenty-five years, they have been featured speakers at Family Life’s Weekend to Remember®, and have also hosted their own marriage conferences across the country. They live in the Detroit area, where Dave has served as the Detroit Lions Chaplain for thirty-three years. They have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody, three daughters-in-law, and four grandchildren.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
July 19, 2022
This was an incredibly helpful and relatable book. As a mom of four young children, I feel overwhelmed and like a failure on a daily basis. Dave and Ann wrote with such honesty and openness about their real-life struggles and helped me realize that parenting IS really hard and that it’s ok to be clueless and completely overwhelmed. They also reminded me that in Christ, I have the Holy Spirit as a constant helper and should go to Him in earnest prayer as often as needed - moment by moment. After reading this, I feel a renewed sense of excitement in my parenting and strengthened by the truth that the Holy Spirit dwells within me and fully equips me to parent my four children. I’ve made many mistakes already and will continue to do so, but it is never too late to beg for God’s help and watch Him work. I am excited to see how God uses this book in my parenting and in our family.
I also found the Wilson’s stages of parenting to be incredibly helpful. We have children ages 7 years to 10 months and the same discipline strategy does not work for all of them. This has been hard to navigate as our kids have grown from toddlers to actual kids. The stages suggested in this book helped me to see the different developmental phases of our kids’ lives as opportunities to help them grow, not something to be fearful of.
I also really enjoyed the end-of-chapter reflections written by each of the Wilson sons. They were honest and incredibly helpful to read their perspectives on their childhood.
I highly recommend this book to any and all parents! Thank you Dave and Ann for sharing your stories with us and for encouraging young parents!!
I also found the Wilson’s stages of parenting to be incredibly helpful. We have children ages 7 years to 10 months and the same discipline strategy does not work for all of them. This has been hard to navigate as our kids have grown from toddlers to actual kids. The stages suggested in this book helped me to see the different developmental phases of our kids’ lives as opportunities to help them grow, not something to be fearful of.
I also really enjoyed the end-of-chapter reflections written by each of the Wilson sons. They were honest and incredibly helpful to read their perspectives on their childhood.
I highly recommend this book to any and all parents! Thank you Dave and Ann for sharing your stories with us and for encouraging young parents!!
January 3, 2023
Call me biased but I absolutely love Dave and Ann Wilson. FamilyLife today, the podcast they host, is my favorite and over the 15+ years I’ve listed to it has changed my life in ways I may never realize.
No Perfect Parents is their second book. Their first, Vertical Marriage, is also fantastic. This book is raw and honest. They share what they did well and what they did poorly. They give advice. They share stories from their parenting journey! There is even a chapter where Dave lists the top 5 things he did poorly as a father. Whoa!
At the end of their chapters, their adults sons, who are now in their 30’s, chime in with their thoughts. I really appreciated this to have more of a hindsight perspective. Highly recommend this book!
I listened to this on scribd. Read by the authors.
No Perfect Parents is their second book. Their first, Vertical Marriage, is also fantastic. This book is raw and honest. They share what they did well and what they did poorly. They give advice. They share stories from their parenting journey! There is even a chapter where Dave lists the top 5 things he did poorly as a father. Whoa!
At the end of their chapters, their adults sons, who are now in their 30’s, chime in with their thoughts. I really appreciated this to have more of a hindsight perspective. Highly recommend this book!
I listened to this on scribd. Read by the authors.
September 28, 2023
A Community Group from our church started reading this book together last winter, but we only covered 2/3 of the chapters, leaving out the ones that dealt with older kids (teenagers and adult children). I finally went ahead and just finished this book. It will probably be one I go back to over the years. Dave and Ann are extremely open and vulnerable as they share all the ways they messed up and failed as parents, and how they are still learning and figuring things out now that their kids are adults. Parenting is a lifelong journey. It’s a hard work, but a worthwhile effort; and as Christians, we must rely on God for strength and humility.
June 10, 2022
Great Christian parenting book.
July 11, 2022
Fantastic Christian parenting book. I really enjoyed the book. Every day life applicable parenting advice for all ages. The book reads fast as the stories are interesting, funny and encouraging.
October 9, 2023
We read this book together in a study at church and although most of it was pretty vanilla, there were some real big takeaways for our family.
The basis of the book: When you discover God's bull's-eye for your children (mission) and combine it with who God created them to be (identity), you will have a road map for vour parenting journey.
We were able to discuss our target for our kids and our family and come up with two major goals we want:
1. To have a relationship with God that gives them purpose for everything we do
2. To be enjoyable to be around, which means they respect themselves, each other, and serve and love others with humility.
Then we sat down with the kids and explained what we were hoping to do, apologizing for our mistakes and telling them about our hopes for the future with them. It was a monumental moment for our family!
Four stages of parenting:
* discipline stage (ages one to five)
* training stage (ages five to twelve)
* coaching stage (ages twelve to eighteen)
* friendship stage (ages eighteen plus)
The basis of the book: When you discover God's bull's-eye for your children (mission) and combine it with who God created them to be (identity), you will have a road map for vour parenting journey.
We were able to discuss our target for our kids and our family and come up with two major goals we want:
1. To have a relationship with God that gives them purpose for everything we do
2. To be enjoyable to be around, which means they respect themselves, each other, and serve and love others with humility.
Then we sat down with the kids and explained what we were hoping to do, apologizing for our mistakes and telling them about our hopes for the future with them. It was a monumental moment for our family!
Four stages of parenting:
* discipline stage (ages one to five)
* training stage (ages five to twelve)
* coaching stage (ages twelve to eighteen)
* friendship stage (ages eighteen plus)
June 28, 2024
I am not a usual non-fiction /self-help reader but i loved this book.
Honest helpful and very relatable. I found myself nodding asI found some of my personal experiences similar to Dave and Ann’s.
Smooth writing style. There were topics discussed and narrated from the point of view of the Dad and point of view of the Mom. I didn’t get lost.
The book included reflections from the grown-up children at the end of some chapters. A third-party/ “young” point of view on the parenting style.
My take:
✅formulate a mission for your child so you don’t lose track and always go VERTICAL.
✅ Parents start as disciplinarians, then trainors, then coaches and finally friends with each child. Don’t mix it up.
✅ Be present in the first 10 years. Establish a bond. A relationship. Create a home they will be ready to come home to when things become unbearable. This will pay off in the teenage years.
Honest helpful and very relatable. I found myself nodding asI found some of my personal experiences similar to Dave and Ann’s.
Smooth writing style. There were topics discussed and narrated from the point of view of the Dad and point of view of the Mom. I didn’t get lost.
The book included reflections from the grown-up children at the end of some chapters. A third-party/ “young” point of view on the parenting style.
My take:
✅formulate a mission for your child so you don’t lose track and always go VERTICAL.
✅ Parents start as disciplinarians, then trainors, then coaches and finally friends with each child. Don’t mix it up.
✅ Be present in the first 10 years. Establish a bond. A relationship. Create a home they will be ready to come home to when things become unbearable. This will pay off in the teenage years.
January 14, 2023
This book was not personally life changing. It had some solid ideas and everything said was theologically sound.
However I felt like it sort of repeated itself and might have been better as a really stellar article instead of an entire book. I flew through it because I felt like there wasn’t a lot of meat to get from the words on the page.
Also, I felt at times the advice given to parents was only based on the authors own failures as if they were universal; I think this was the biggest reason I didn’t get a lot out of it.
However I felt like it sort of repeated itself and might have been better as a really stellar article instead of an entire book. I flew through it because I felt like there wasn’t a lot of meat to get from the words on the page.
Also, I felt at times the advice given to parents was only based on the authors own failures as if they were universal; I think this was the biggest reason I didn’t get a lot out of it.
August 29, 2023
I've been reading a ton of parenting books lately and this has been one of the only ones that actually had practical parenting advice instead of just talking about their own kids and problems. Written with humor and humility, No Perfect Parents made me feel like I could actually follow the advice or lessons learned by Dave and Ann instead of being unrealistic, unpractical advice. I really, really like the Vertical life message and will definitely be rereading this one.
November 2, 2023
Probably one of the simplest and easiest to read parenting books. It’s not filled with a ton of information but it’s filled with enough. I think what makes this book 5 stars is their kids writing at the the end of several chapters and providing their own insight looking back at growing up with these parents and just their own wisdom they’ve gained.
June 1, 2025
You can't parent away the brokenness within them. That's Jesus' job.
This one is worth taking your time reading through. There are so many nuggets of wisdom, relatable stories of failure, and great ideas to implement-- plus, the perspective of their own kids at the end of the chapters is a bonus.
This one is worth taking your time reading through. There are so many nuggets of wisdom, relatable stories of failure, and great ideas to implement-- plus, the perspective of their own kids at the end of the chapters is a bonus.
November 8, 2021
A solid Christian parenting read. Most helpful for me at this stage in the parenting adventure was the idea of the phases of parenting and how our goals and tactics need to change as our children grow up.
(Full disclosure: the agency I'm a part of represents the Wilsons)
(Full disclosure: the agency I'm a part of represents the Wilsons)
May 19, 2022
It was a good read of a couples perspective on family. There were stories mixed with lessons. It came across as lighthearted. Easy read. I enjoyed the kids additional commentary. Didn’t solve everything but it offers up some good advice.
October 20, 2022
My husband Brett and i did this as a study together! Yes it took us awhile to read and discuss but that is life with little ones! This book was incredible and we can’t wait to create our family mission statement! I will recommend this book to any parent!
November 27, 2022
This is the best parenting book I have ever read- you really need to read this book if you are a parent. Encouraging and insightful it came at just the right season in my journey of parenting. Highly highly recommend
February 13, 2025
I liked this book because it was funny and engaging. The authors don't pretend to have all the answers, but shared what worked for them. They also shared their failures and mistakes, which is refreshing for a parenting book.
March 5, 2025
A wonderfully honest book about raising children well. Plenty of personal experiences shared to learn from as well as practical advice and encouragement. One of the best parenting books I’ve read so far.
November 27, 2025
It was a good read... the last few summary-type chapters were better to me than the rest of the book.
A good book to read, but did not love it for a small group study/discussion. More of a narrative style... I enjoyed hearing the two of them on the audiobook version! Relatable and down to earth.
A good book to read, but did not love it for a small group study/discussion. More of a narrative style... I enjoyed hearing the two of them on the audiobook version! Relatable and down to earth.
August 20, 2021
Very honest and transparent authors. I appreciated how they took turns narrating the audio version!!
January 13, 2023
Super impactful
September 5, 2023
This was a great book and really helped me to learn how through scripture I can become the parent that guides teaches and raises kids with Gods amazing grace
December 24, 2023
Interesting parenting tips, minus spanking. A little too religious for my taste and was really hoping for more parenting tips and less scripture.
December 31, 2023
This book took me a while to get through only because I wanted it to. It gave some great insights on parenting and mainly validating that it’s ok I’m not perfect
January 20, 2025
If you are a parent or plan to be one, this is the book for you! Honest and life-giving, pointing always back to God. I felt less alone in my imperfection and mess as a parent.
October 23, 2025
A solid work with many honest, and sometimes funny, examples and good questions and applications. Worth a read for any parent or grandparent.
June 8, 2021
I enjoyed this book, and my kids are older (2 early adults & 1 late teen). On the day I cataloged it, I decided to see what it had to say. I was surprised it really eased a lot of the stress I have been feeling as a parent lately. Once they get older, parenting really does get harder, and you spend a lot of time wondering if you are doing the right thing. I am definitely not a perfect parent, but I love my kids with every fiber of my being. It's good to be reminded that God's got them and me.
October 2, 2021
This book was really positive and had some great messages. It is applicable for parents with newborns to adults, so all parents! The authors are very honest and vulnerable about their past struggles and experiences as well as what worked and some regrets they have. It was edifying to learn from parents who are further along in their journey than I am, who embrace God's power and grace to lead their parenting, as opposed to the guilt and comparison so prevalent today. I really enjoyed this book and I'm excited to check out their marriage book that they also co-authored.
July 19, 2022
1st time.
Lots of really helpful stuff that mirrors a lot of my personal goals of becoming a mother. I particularly loved that they had each of their sons write small letter esque passages that added their perspective on their childhoods. I also loved how they broke down the stages of childhood and childrearing and created specific goals for each stage.
Highly recommend.
Lots of really helpful stuff that mirrors a lot of my personal goals of becoming a mother. I particularly loved that they had each of their sons write small letter esque passages that added their perspective on their childhoods. I also loved how they broke down the stages of childhood and childrearing and created specific goals for each stage.
Highly recommend.
June 3, 2022
Excellent book! I love how honest and real they are!
Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews