Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma

by Galit Atlas

Award-winning psychoanalyst Dr. Galit Atlas draws on her patients' stories—and her own life experiences—to shed light on how generational trauma affects our lives in this "intimate, textured, compassionate" book (Jon Kabat-Zinn, author of The Healing Power of Mindfulness).

The people we love and those who raised us live inside us; we experience their emotional pain, we dream their memories, and these things shape our lives in ways we don’t always recognize. Emotional Inheritance is about family secrets that keep us from living to our full potential, create gaps between what we want for ourselves and what we are able to have, and haunt us like ghosts.    In this transformative book, Galit Atlas entwines the stories of her patients, her own stories, and decades of research to help us identify the links between our life struggles and the “emotional inheritance” we all carry. For it is only by following the traces those ghosts leave that we can truly change our destiny.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Memoir, Health, Science

212 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 25, 2022

Reviews

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book an insightful and sometimes deeply moving look at how generational trauma affects people’s mental health and relationships. Galit Atlas a psychoanalytic therapist, describes several of her therapy cases and how people’s family histories affected the course of their treatment with her. I appreciated her consistent empathy for her clients as well as her accessible writing style. I felt really emotional in a couple of instances while reading this book, such as when she described a woman having an extramarital affair and the deeper reasons underlying her cheating (e.g., avoiding agency, wanting someone to take care of her) and how this woman grew and healed, as well as the man who tried to distance himself from Atlas (e.g., saying things like “it’s okay if you don’t want to see me, you’re my therapist not my mother) because of how his own mother rejected him. Compelling content!

A couple of things I didn’t love: first, I found the stories a little too neat at times? While Atlas definitely includes nuanced cases, I felt like they followed a format of, client experiences some angst, Atlas helps the client draw an insight to their family of origin, and then this insight pretty much does all the work of aiding the client’s recovery. I know insight is a cornerstone of psychoanalytic and dynamic approaches though this portrayal almost felt a bit too convenient for me at times. I also felt iffy about a couple of things Atlas wrote about in relation to sociocultural issues. While generally I thought she did a nice job of addressing issues like the restrictive norms of masculinity, there was one comment for example she made about a certain sexual act between a man and a woman meaning X thing, which I found a kind of odd, heteronormative, and somewhat gender-stereotypical/binary statement.

Anyway, despite my constructive critiques I think fans of What My Bones Know and Maybe You Should Talk to Someone may enjoy this book.

[Roe · Rating 1 out of 5]

PhD of anecdotes, no scientific backing and is extremely biased. Definitely focused on introspection which I personally don’t care for and it’s something that has been debunked in the field long ago. I thought I could get some insight on psychoanalysts from this book but not really, all just anecdotes. Absolutely no scientific backing, which is what I was hoping to read at least something that backs her field of study. But no, stories of her own experiences and patients. Lol and her sources seem to be Freud… which is so wrong on so many levels, I was under the impression the field expanded a bit farther than him but maybe not? Idk, do you see how uninformative it is?

She briefly mentioned epigenetic’s at the beginning which is cool, but she failed to touch up on the science aspect of it and it’s relation with the book (hence the title) and her research. She would offhandedly mention how everything was inheritable but nothing deep, super super brief.

With the anecdotes with her patients, she seems to stick with her own paradigm and doesn’t expand into others, which I question (I find that to be quite dangerous actually). How does she know how her patients are feeling 100% just be analyzing their current circumstances? She is quite conclusive on all of assumptions and I find it quite criticizable. All of the puzzle pieces seem to fall right into the missing puzzle frames which is just sooooo wrong, psychology is not a simple field. The author is self-promoting herself so hard it’s actually wrong.

She promoted the book by saying she had a PhD but idk, absolutely no research in it. Nothing too informative, just a biography which is cool but it’s definitely click bait which I don’t appreciate. Her conclusions and analysis on peoples experience seems to stem from her own experiences.

I don’t know why this book got such high reviews, it’s actually questionable. Is highly biased, not good, and lacks all scientific evidence. I guess this is the distinction between a clinical doctor and a therapist, which is alright. My biggest issue is her conclusive statements from this, she doesn’t explain any other paradigm, she frames the most pseudoscience paradigm in psychology as a science in this book, which is definitely isn’t. She seems to be a good storyteller and that’s it, I question the integrity of this author. She seems to romanticize a lot of these anecdotes and traumas and turns them into stories, also I questioned it at the beginning but by the end I felt sure, she feels to be promoting propaganda for Israel which I have a problem with because she’s doing it in a psychology self-help book.

Science should be taken off the genre tag for this.

[Mehrsa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly insightful. One of the best books I’ve read about psychotherapy and generational trauma. fans of Irvin Yalom should read this

[Alicia Bayer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite reads of 2021, and that's saying a lot as I've logged over 300 books this year.

Dr. Atlas shows us how we pass on our trauma through generations just as we pass on our biological genes, even when our stories are never discussed between generations. She uses a different case history of one of her patients for each chapter, along with weaving in her own history. She is the perfect blend of brilliant and caring, and makes a fascinating author. Highly recommended.

Expected publication: January 25th 2022

I read a digital ARC of this book via Net Galley.

[Leona · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book advocates for therapy but doesn’t really give readers any tools besides anecdotes. I agree we inherit emotions from our parents but it’s difficult to analyze if they have passed on. I also don’t think understanding the source of a behavior is enough to release it. We all have emotional baggage and for some it’s very heavy. The profiles in this book weren’t relevant to me but I appreciated the honesty and the process each patient went through. If you’re interested in anecdotes, I recommend this - if not, I didn’t find it helpful.

[Tanja Berg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't really know if I believe in the concept of psychologically inherited trauma quite as the anecdotes delivered in this book. However, I do think that family trauma and family secrets can influence future generations. It's in the silences, the violence, the hints. That it would really somehow subconsciously cross generational gaps, I'm not convinced. Still, it's a good book, interesting concept, lots of interesting stories from different people.

Personal musings that are not really part of the review:
The book got me thinking about my family's trauma. My father's brother closest to him in age, Seth, died when he was just 4 years old. My paternal grandmother had my father at 45. Maybe she wouldn't have, if she hadn't lost her youngest. My paternal grandfather was born in 1898, the generation gap is huge - my little brother was born in 1990, ninety-to years later than his grandfather. On my mother's side, I think I have inherited more trauma, because her parents still lived when I was born and I knew them. Knew that my mother's mother was educated, didn't really want to get married (but it was 1939 and there was a war starting) and certainly did not want to have 5 children or the life of a farmer's wife. Although she loved her grandchildren, I still wonder if her inherit bitterness has influenced me to give up on husbands easily and to never have children. Her husband was in the war. That was a huge trauma, he couldn't speak of anything else. I wish that I had listened, really listened, to what he said when he talked about it. For me, it was so far away. But when he first started talking to me about it, it was just 50 years ago. My first memories are more than 40 years now. It doesn't feel like all that long ago.

[Noga Ariel-Galor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Galit Atlas's book is a "must-read" for everyone who feels like their efforts of understanding themselves and/or their patients has reached a certain impasse, one that can only be broken by digging in deeper into what has been passed on to us by previous generations. By doing that, this book does not only connect us with the understanding of the elusive and transgenerational aspects of trauma, but it also further connects between generations: It leads us to curiosity regarding our ancestors and relatives, and truly reveals the meaning of what "family history" really is - a window not only to the past but rather to our own present and future.

Reading this book is not only insightful, but also very evocative and at times mesmerising. It's a great read all on its own, but it's also "the textbook we always wanted to read": one that teaches us not only through knowledge but through the deeply visceral experience that only a great book can give us. I love this book and will recommend it to all of my students and patients!

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Revolves around epigenetics and inherited intergenerational trauma.

I found this an easy read, as in, it went quickly.
But it was also a hard read, content-wise.
I had to put the brakes on and read one chapter at a time. Then take some time to mull over it before picking it up again on a different day.
A lot of these stories moved me to tears. It's hard to see echoes of one's own generational trauma in the lives of others.
Not a self-help book. Rather a deeper look at intergenerational trauma and how it will come out and impact our lives, knowingly or unknowingly.

•Content warning: frank discussions about sex and abuse of all sorts, traumatic instances that come up in client stories, and a few instances of the F word.

[Sneha · Rating 3 out of 5]

A thought-provoking exploration of generational trauma and the ways in which we are knowingly or unknowingly shaped by it. The idea that the effects of trauma can be genetically inherited and felt by future generations (even in cases where it’s kept a secret) is an interesting concept. The author includes anecdotes about her patients as well as her own experiences to illustrate how this “emotional inheritance” of trauma limits us (often subconsciously) from living our lives to our full potential. Through these stories she demonstrates that the path to healing involves bridging the gap between the past and the present.

Although this is an interesting concept, and worth reading because I agree with the basic ideas she presents (such as the negative effects of repressed trauma) I’m not sure I was 100% convinced by some of the connections she makes in her patients’ cases. For example there were a couple of dream interpretations which seemed like a bit of a reach. She briefly mentions epigenetics but does not provide any real scientific links.

[Madeline Van Husen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a pretty good overview of intergenerational trauma. I thought the vignettes were well-written, but nothing groundbreaking. My biggest issue with the book was the discussion of trauma for people in Israel, Israelis now living in the U.S., and Arabic-speaking Jews without any discussion of Palestine/Palestinians. Seems pretty important if we're going to talk about trauma in the Middle East. Also at one point the author discussed her time in the IDF and said she was against killing people because of "bad karma". I know this isn't the point of the book, but she discussed Israel in almost every other vignette - usually to emphasize the intergenerational trauma from the Holocaust, which is very well studied and valid, but sometimes her comments seemed insensitive to other groups (e.g. Palestinians).

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting selection of case studies that explores how childhood circumstances and observations, parental and grandparental interactions influence subconsciously future outcomes.
Ancestral patterns, events, perceptions and experiences even when unknown can create consequences in present and future generations. Going forward to seek out, uncover and understand them opens the way to release and heal from them, diminishing negative effects and or emotional blockages, bringing the freedom to create anew healthy functional patterns.

[Haylee · Rating 5 out of 5]

With the study of epigenetics as her anchor, the author explores generational trauma and healing through clinical work with her patients. The stories were simple, and when told through her research lens, seem obvious! But in reality it’s hard to know what’s been passed down. The beauty is that we have the chance to finish our ancestors, grandparents, or parents stories, and move into our own. I just loved this.

[Isidora Stanković · Rating 2 out of 5]

1.5 it starts off really strong. Then it just morphs into storytelling with no deeper analysis weaving patient stories together. Lastly, it morphs into extreme marketing of zionism and displacement. Overall written in an extremely biased, insensitive, tone deaf, “no Palestine” way - minus 23 stars for that.

[Magda]

Anscheinend habe ich meiner Mutter Mal gesagt, dass ich dieses Buch lesen möchte und die hat es mir über Weihnachten aus der Bücherei ausgeliehen. Und auf einmal lese ich statt einem schlechten Krimi über die Feiertage ein Buch über Trauma und wie sich dieses über Generationen weitervererbt. Genau richtig, wenn man gleichzeitig ganz viel Verwandtschaftsbesuch bekommt...
Das Buch ist in verschiedenen Kapitel/Generationen aufgeteilt, die sich alle mit verschiedenen Formen von Trauma (Flucht, sexueller Missbrauch, Verlust, ...) auseinandersetzen, in dem Geschichten von Patient*innen wiedergegeben werden. Spannend, aber gleichzeitig sehr dicht. Ich hätte gerne mehr Zeit gehabt mir über die einzelnen Themen in Bezug auf meine Familie mehr Gedanken zu machen, aber dad war im Feiertagstrubel schwer möglich. Stattdessen nehme ich als Quintessenz mit, dass es möglich ist vererbtes Trauma aufzuarbeiten, zu verstehen, Resilienz aufzubauen und hoffnungsvoll zu sein. Das ist ja was...

[Nevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each chapter is the personal story of clients.

Each client brings to the table their own traumas, childhood memories, past and present relationships. It’s fascinating to get that close to another human being without really knowing them.

The authors writing style is flawless and very honest. She puts all the cards on the table, therefore you are never left wondering what happened to that particular person. Each story ends with a satisfying conclusion.

I have been through classic psychotherapy in the past. It’s hard to find the right therapist that fits one’s needs. In general the author did a great job in conveying the relationship between the therapist and the client.

Enjoy!

[Vini · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sehr spannendes Buch, welches einen Einblick in die Psyche von verschiedenen Patienten geben konnte. Es war angenehm beschrieben worden, sodass man sich auch schnell in die Situation der einzelnen Personen hineinversetzen konnte. Es war allgemein ein Buch, welches zu empfehlen ist, wenn man sich mit der Historie der eigenen Familientraumata auseinandersetzt möchte.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it. This is a book for me. MANY times I read a sentence and was like...is she talking to me?! A lot of these stories will stick with me. Structuring the book in rings of generations was really illuminating. I did think the end didn't feel quite final enough to me, but overall such a gripping, quick, impactful read.

[Mandy Emery · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! It had the same format as Good Morning Monster, which is one of my favorite therapy books. Galit definitely has a different approach to therapy than me, and listening to how she practices broadened my perspective on how to help my clients! Overall, it was a different type of therapy book but I really enjoyed it.

[Kayla Randolph · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to win this book in a Goodreads Giveaway!

I honestly wish this book was longer! I could’ve even gone for more research discussions, which is something I never thought I’d say.

As for the patient stories Atlas chose to include, they were obviously more buttoned-up compared to your everyday person’s therapeutic journey, but credit where credit is due—they were extraordinary. (Perhaps I just wish I could see my own journey more in these pages.)

I feel as though the examples taught me the extraordinary way these individuals inherited trauma, but I wanted more of the general to perhaps better apply it to my own life.

[Karen Ng · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, I mean wow. This is a must read for everyone. It's in the same category as "Good Morning, Monster" by Catherine Gildiner and "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone" by Lori Gottlieb, where a therapist shared stories of her patients. However, reading this book really opened my eyes to intergenerational trauma; not only those we already knew about but also buried things that we don't because older family members never talked to us about them. These known facts and unknown secrets in our family history affect both our physical and/or mental health subconciously. We need to understand and process everything in order to heal ourselves and move on with our life.The book revealed so many strange ways that past family traumatic events creeped upon/caught up with us. It was kind of scary yet it also opened my eyes so much with researches and facts that I only heard about for the first time. After reading the book, lots of behaviors and emotions I observed of people around me suddenly make sense, even my own.

"When our minds remember, our bodies are free to forget."

"It's hard not to feel alone when it comes to pain. To some extent all feelings are isolated, enigmatic, and we transform them, through words, into a form that we can share with others. But words do not always capture the essence of our feelings, and in that sense, we are always alone."

"This is especially true when it comes to trauma and loss. In order to survive, we disconnect not only from others but also from ourselves, And we cry for the losses- of the people we love, of the life we used to have, of our old self."

[Vanessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Emotional Inheritance, Galit Atlas explores the insidious nature of generational trauma through stories from her clients and those from her own life. Note that Atlas practices psychoanalytic therapy.

One thing this book does really well is showing that therapists aren’t a tabula rasa—the questions or confessions that clients bring to therapy and the therapeutic relationship can have an impact on therapists. Therapy isn’t just the journey of the client, it’s the journey of the client and their therapist.

Although this is an interesting book about a topic that’s gained popularity in the past few years and a very easy read (in terms of writing, not themes), I gave it 3/5 stars because I wanted more from it.

I didn’t really learn that much new knowledge about psychology as I’ve done with other books of a similar style (think Esther Perel) because Atlas doesn’t spend as much time explaining psychoanalytic theories or concepts. I also didn’t get that satisfying feeling of journeying with her clients through therapy and witnessing their character development (think Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb) because each chapter is dedicated to one client and their stories are fairly summarized. Because their stories are so short, sometimes I’m left wondering how the client managed to gain insight or turn that insight into action.

[Книжкові історії · Rating 4 out of 5]

Непогана книжка від психоаналітикині про травму поколінь і як вона впливає на життя дітей і внуків. Я прочитала за день, ідеально підійде для тих, хто хоче почати досліджувати свої родинні травми і розірвати коло страждань.

[Holly D · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book, but not what I was expecting. Explains how generational trauma can effect a person which is shown by the author telling a few different stories based on some her patients lives.

[Halyna Lutsenko · Rating 3 out of 5]

Загалом ок, але мені не вистачило теоретичної частини: досліджень і глибшого аналізу теми. Авторка зосередилася здебільшого на конкретних історіях своїх пацієнтів.

[Rebecca Gerstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an excellent book. A must read for any therapist or person interested in generational trauma. Really fascinating!

[Chiara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Il tema di questo libro colpisce fin troppo vicino a casa e, proprio per questo motivo, non riesco a scrivere pensieri che non siano troppo emotivi e scollegati.
A ragion di questo, l’unica cosa che posso fare è citare alcuni spezzoni, che sicuramente sapranno spiegare (un minimo) questo libro meglio di quanto io possa provare a fare in questo momento:

“Ogni trauma è conservato all’interno di una famiglia in maniera unica e lascia il proprio marchio emotivo su quelli che ancora non sono nati. Questi segreti, che spesso ci impediscono di esprimere tutte le nostre potenzialità, condizionano la nostra salute fisica e mentale, creando una discontinuità tra ciò che desideriamo per noi stessi e quello che siamo in grado di ottenere, perseguitandoci come fantasmi”.

“Un cambiamento è un congedo lieve dal nostro passato: dalla nostra infanzia, dai nostri ruoli familiari, dai nostri Sé conosciuti. Per evolvere ed essere creativi è necessario separarsi e vivere il futuro, anziché cullarsi nel passato. Un passato non elaborato non ci consente di progredire, bensì ci trattiene nel ruolo di guardiani della nostra storia”.

“Il campo dell’epigenetica ci offre una cornice diversa per comprendere come natura e cultura si compenetrino e come gli esseri umani reagiscano all’ambiente a livello molecolare, sottolineando come i geni abbiano una memoria che può essere trasmessa da una generazione all’altra.
L’implicazione di queste nuove ricerche è duplice: il trauma può essere trasmesso alla generazione successiva, ma il lavoro psicologico può cambiare e modificare gli effetti biologici del trauma”

Un viaggio emotivo che fa luce sulla genesi del dolore nascosto nelle persone.
5 stelle a mani basse, scrittura scorrevole, tema molto interessante e relativamente nuovo nel campo della psicoterapia. Non ho mai pianto per un libro ma a questo giro ci sono cascata anche io. Ho provato rabbia, disperazione, rassegnazione e speranza nel giro di quasi 300 pagine.

[Sonia Di Pietra · Rating 5 out of 5]

“«Mi sento così sola », dice, e io condivido con lei il convincimento che tutti abbiamo bisogno di un essere umano che ci accompagni nel viaggio emotivo della vita: di una persona che possa accettare i nostri sentimenti, elaborandoli con noi. Abbiamo bisogno di essere conosciuti.”
Nell’attesa di ritornare dalla psicologa, questo libro fa sentire il dolore e il sollievo di certe sedute.

[Shadan Khatib · Rating 1 out of 5]

My overall rating for this book is 1.5 out of 5.

The book began very strong and engaging, but as I continued reading, I started to sense the author’s clear bias. It felt as though she was writing solely about one group of people ; as if the entire book revolved around Zionists and their suffering while completely marginalizing and ignoring the other side.

What stood out most to me was the author’s hypocrisy and her evident bias toward a particular group something impossible to ignore while reading

What disappointed me even more was the fact that the author is a psychoanalyst with multiple advanced degrees and a well-established career. Yet, her bias toward the group she personally identifies with made me question her professionalism especially given that her field and the main theme of her book revolve around embracing others and understanding all sides. Unfortunately, I did not feel that from either the author or the book.
This diminished the credibility of both the author and the book, making it difficult for me to view the work as successful, professional, or academic.

[Jessika Cobb · Rating 2 out of 5]

My first DNF of the year. I made it to about 80% on the audiobook and realized I was really putting off listening to the rest because I wasn’t enjoying it anymore.

While the concept of inherited trauma is interesting, I think I was hoping for more scientific research and data. While I like the personal stories, I didn’t want to ONLY read the personal stories.

[Matangi · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book gave me some things to think about, but i read it with a huge skepticism. too many things felt a little too coincidental to the point of cuteness. also, i think the author should have talked about Palestine when she was speaking about racism and the IDF.