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回归家庭?：家庭、事业与难以实现的平等
她们曾经是律师、会计师、教师、设计师、记者、医生、出版商、学者……有着高额的薪水和远大的职业前景，最终却有了一个共同的归宿：全职家庭主妇。
作者沙尼·奥加德对受过高等教育的伦敦女性及其伴侣进行了深入采访，这些女性为了照顾孩子回归家庭，而丈夫则继续从事高薪工作。媒体和政策鼓励职业女性维持工作和家庭的平衡、构建伙伴式的平等夫妻关系。而女性们面对的现实情况却截然相反：不友好的职场文化、对家庭妇女的污名化和对育儿事务的贬低……她们牺牲了事业，结果发现家庭也不是真正的避风港。
沙尼向我们揭示了性别平等口号和女性遭受的不公正待遇间的巨大落差：自主选择的背后是结构性的不平等，幸福的表象之下则是深深的愤怒和失望。《回归家庭》希望能够倾听这些女性的心声，并以此为起点，帮助她们在家庭生活和工作中，获得迟来的、真正的平等。
作者沙尼·奥加德对受过高等教育的伦敦女性及其伴侣进行了深入采访，这些女性为了照顾孩子回归家庭，而丈夫则继续从事高薪工作。媒体和政策鼓励职业女性维持工作和家庭的平衡、构建伙伴式的平等夫妻关系。而女性们面对的现实情况却截然相反：不友好的职场文化、对家庭妇女的污名化和对育儿事务的贬低……她们牺牲了事业，结果发现家庭也不是真正的避风港。
沙尼向我们揭示了性别平等口号和女性遭受的不公正待遇间的巨大落差：自主选择的背后是结构性的不平等，幸福的表象之下则是深深的愤怒和失望。《回归家庭》希望能够倾听这些女性的心声，并以此为起点，帮助她们在家庭生活和工作中，获得迟来的、真正的平等。
396 pages, Paperback
Published September 1, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
August 27, 2021
An excellent book about the conflict between the messages of contemporary feminism and the actual difficulties that working mothers face — that lead them leave the workforce.
Feminist messages today focus on keywords like choice, confidence and empowerment. To opt out of the workforce is presented largely as a personal choice, but leaves out a lot of the underlying dynamics that coerce women to do so: husbands who are unwilling to give up their careers, a gendered expectation that children develop better with motherly care than fatherly care, and toxic work cultures with long hours and an "always on" culture that make it extremely challenging to juggle parenthood and work.
By shifting the dialogue away from structural inequities and framing it as a personal choice, it leaves women to internalise the blame that they don't live up to the ideal balanced woman (who, by the way, is a projection and fantasy because women struggle to pinpoint a specific woman they personally knew who "had it all"). They view their decisions and their lives as a personal failing: yet another situation of women internalising blame and feeling bad about themselves.
The book also explores the downsides of the gig economy, which has otherwise been touted to help moms achieve a work life balance by being a "mompreneur". The truth is that gig economy work doesn't provide job security and benefits and is not something that can be neatly boxed away when the kids are at school.
Great and illuminating book showing how even the most well educated and successful women living in affluent homes still fall into a trap of "voluntarily" leaving paid employment to focus on motherhood. Made me think of way too many examples of Gen Xs falling into this category.
Feminist messages today focus on keywords like choice, confidence and empowerment. To opt out of the workforce is presented largely as a personal choice, but leaves out a lot of the underlying dynamics that coerce women to do so: husbands who are unwilling to give up their careers, a gendered expectation that children develop better with motherly care than fatherly care, and toxic work cultures with long hours and an "always on" culture that make it extremely challenging to juggle parenthood and work.
By shifting the dialogue away from structural inequities and framing it as a personal choice, it leaves women to internalise the blame that they don't live up to the ideal balanced woman (who, by the way, is a projection and fantasy because women struggle to pinpoint a specific woman they personally knew who "had it all"). They view their decisions and their lives as a personal failing: yet another situation of women internalising blame and feeling bad about themselves.
The book also explores the downsides of the gig economy, which has otherwise been touted to help moms achieve a work life balance by being a "mompreneur". The truth is that gig economy work doesn't provide job security and benefits and is not something that can be neatly boxed away when the kids are at school.
Great and illuminating book showing how even the most well educated and successful women living in affluent homes still fall into a trap of "voluntarily" leaving paid employment to focus on motherhood. Made me think of way too many examples of Gen Xs falling into this category.
March 9, 2020
Great strides have been made in the last 50 years when it comes to equality between the genders. So why is it that many highly-educated, career-driven women are still opting out of the workplace entirely to take care of their children? The prevailing societal answer is that this is entirely due to personal preference by the women and their families.
This book argues (convincingly, in my opinion) this idea of personal preference is not entirely the reality that these women face. Instead, the women who chose to leave their careers made the decision based on a variety of factors other than pure personal preference: work structures, work cultures, and social perceptions to name a few. "Presentism" in their own workplaces and the stress of their husband's high-powered careers are a couple examples of the factors that drove the choice to stay home, even when that wouldn't have been the woman's first choice.
There's a lot I can say on this topic, but I'll leave it at this: The ingrained assumption that employees should be at their employer's beck and call at such a level that is the reality for most working people harms everyone. It harms fathers who aren't there for their kids. It harms mothers who are usually the ones assumed to take on the role of "foundation parent" for their kids.
Unpaid work is still work and should be valued, whether it is done by men or women. It is absolutely a legitimate choice to leave paid work to take care of your family, but we as a society can do better to make it more of an actual choice instead of something that is necessary because of the expectations of the workplace.
This book argues (convincingly, in my opinion) this idea of personal preference is not entirely the reality that these women face. Instead, the women who chose to leave their careers made the decision based on a variety of factors other than pure personal preference: work structures, work cultures, and social perceptions to name a few. "Presentism" in their own workplaces and the stress of their husband's high-powered careers are a couple examples of the factors that drove the choice to stay home, even when that wouldn't have been the woman's first choice.
There's a lot I can say on this topic, but I'll leave it at this: The ingrained assumption that employees should be at their employer's beck and call at such a level that is the reality for most working people harms everyone. It harms fathers who aren't there for their kids. It harms mothers who are usually the ones assumed to take on the role of "foundation parent" for their kids.
Unpaid work is still work and should be valued, whether it is done by men or women. It is absolutely a legitimate choice to leave paid work to take care of your family, but we as a society can do better to make it more of an actual choice instead of something that is necessary because of the expectations of the workplace.
February 23, 2022
Heading Home interviewed a group of highly-educated and successful professional women in the US and UK who chose to opt out of the workplace to take care of their children. They comforted themselves that it was entirely a personal choice due to individual preference. But was it?
Granted, all of these women belong to a niche privileged group (white, upper-middle class, stellar education and professional track records, husbands with high-earning jobs), but the research still offers an insightful look into stay-at-home mothers' psyche. If these women who've got it all are not happy with their child-caring state, what about all the other less privileged ones? Throughout the book Orgad offers many interesting and provocative ideas that made me pause and think. And I finally got what's wrong with the "girl power" feminism. The key to achieve gender equality lies in dismantling patriarchal structures, not in telling women to be more confident, to "lean in", and to internalize external inequalities into self-blame.
3 stars because I find the writing all over the place and the author not good at summarizing her arguments and main points - it definitely felt like an essay stretched into a book. Still worth reading though.
Granted, all of these women belong to a niche privileged group (white, upper-middle class, stellar education and professional track records, husbands with high-earning jobs), but the research still offers an insightful look into stay-at-home mothers' psyche. If these women who've got it all are not happy with their child-caring state, what about all the other less privileged ones? Throughout the book Orgad offers many interesting and provocative ideas that made me pause and think. And I finally got what's wrong with the "girl power" feminism. The key to achieve gender equality lies in dismantling patriarchal structures, not in telling women to be more confident, to "lean in", and to internalize external inequalities into self-blame.
3 stars because I find the writing all over the place and the author not good at summarizing her arguments and main points - it definitely felt like an essay stretched into a book. Still worth reading though.
January 10, 2019
The author perfectly captured the guilt and other emotions experienced by women that have families and still want to have a fulfilling career and life.
January 13, 2022
I liked it primarily because it gave a sneak peak into sociologists work in an accessible way. The content/discoveries were not that insightful.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews