The Ones Who Remember: Second-Generation Voices of the Holocaust

by Rita Benn (Editor), Julie Goldstein Ellis (Editor), Joy Wolfe Ensor PhD (Editor)

How do you talk about and make sense of your life when you grew up with parents who survived the most unimaginable horrors of family separation, systematic murder and unending encounters of inhumanity? Sixteen authors reveal the challenges and gifts of living with the aftermath of their parents’ inconceivable experiences during the Holocaust.

The Ones Who Second-Generation Voices of the Holocaust provides a window into the lived experience of sixteen different families grappling with the legacy of genocide. Each author reveals the many ways their parents’ Holocaust traumas and survival seeped into their souls and then affected their subsequent family lives – whether they knew the bulk of their parents’ stories or nothing at all.

Several of the contributors’ children share interpretations of the continuing effects of this legacy with their own poems and creative prose. Despite the diversity of each family's history and journey of discovery, the intimacy of the collective narratives reveals a common arc from suffering to resilience, across the three generations. This book offers a vision of a shared humanity against the background of inherited trauma that is relatable to anyone who grew up in the shadow of their parents’ pain.

Foreword Indies Gold Award for Anthologies, 2022 and Nautilus Silver Award for Heroic Journeys, 2023

Genres: Holocaust, Nonfiction

352 pages, Paperback

Published April 12, 2022

Reviews

[rach · Rating 5 out of 5]

everyone should read this.

[Michelle Adamo #EmptyNestReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The parents' suffering seeped into our souls.”

Sixteen authors each contribute an essay on their parents experiences during the holocaust and how it affected them, the survivors. One generation removed from the horrors, these second-generation authors also examine how the holocaust effected them, the children of the survivors, and how bering the child of a survivor influenced the raising of their own children (the third-generation).

Holocaust survivors were suffering the mental and behavioral effects of PTSD long before we had a name for it. They experienced on-going fears and anxieties, mental illness, nightmares, depression and anger. Second-generation survivors witnessed their parents suffering. “To protect them from further sadness and pain...we never made trouble ourselves.”

Trauma affected the entire family and that, in turn, influenced how these authors were raised and how they raised their own children as the following quotes demonstrate. “My parents’ neediness and fear were stifling me.” “I was attributing something that I imagined happened to Mom, physically in the concentration camp, to my own, tainted condition.” “After all that our parents had endured, how dare we portray them as in any way flawed?” “I felt frustrated and sad that I couldn’t tell my mommy I got a cut.” “By carrying Juliska’s name, am I obligated to make up for a lost life in whatever I do in my own life?” ”I tend to worry. Is it any surprise that I worry, with a family history full of horrible suffering?” "My situation paled in comparison.” “We are the link to our parents’ ongoing, lifelong trauma’”

The Ones Who Remember is a collection of powerful and heartbreaking essays that provide an honest look at the effect of the Holocaust on generations. Well-written, insightful, informative. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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[Ann Epstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inescapable and Unforgettable – We are all admonished to “Never Forget” the Holocaust, but for the children of survivors, remembering has a special significance. It requires bearing witness to the horrors their parents suffered. It pits a burning desire to know against a paralyzing dread of the anguish that probing for details will unleash. Remembering also means confronting the multi-generational trauma that children of survivors carry within themselves. The heartbreakingly honest collection of essays in The Ones Who Remember delves deeply into the scars carved into survivors and, in a unique contribution to Holocaust literature, the emotional and physical stamp left on the next generation. It is an inheritance these sixteen writers bear with pain and pride: the pain born of anxiety, depression, and the fear that one can never live up to their parents’ expectations or replace their inconceivable losses; the pride that swells for ancestors with the strength, wits, and determination to survive and begin anew. As a fiction and memoir writer myself (see my Goodreads author page https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...), I’m in awe of the complex portraits these authors paint of their parents, whose behavior ranges from smothering love to emotional numbness to fits of rage, and of themselves, whose reactions range from childhood puzzlement and resentment to adult empathy and forgiveness. This richly populated book is a tribute to the past and a testament to the future. The Holocaust’s casualties exceed the 6 million Jews and 5 million others murdered by the Nazis. A full count also includes the offspring who carry the memory in their DNA, marked as indelibly as their parents’ tattooed forearms.

[Leah Kessler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this. Seriously.

[Isabel Ratner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful stories from the perspective of the second-generation Holocaust survivors. I was deeply moved by these stunning tales of human survival, courage and love while simultaneously saddened and changed by the impact the trauma and grief had on the next generation. A beautiful read for anyone wanting to more deeply understand the human condition and how we move through life with those we love but struggle to understand.

xx, a member of the third generation

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very well written and organized. Sixteen authors share very personal memories of growing up with parents who survived the Holocaust. Two of these authors, Phil Barr and Cilla Tomas, recently held a book talk at my library to share their stories. Each sharing was insightful and compelling, making this book a truly great read. Thank you to Phil Barr who reached out to me for the opportunity to bring this work into our community.
Highly recommend!

[Allyson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I heard about this book after watching a zoom presentation organized by the Museum of Jewish Heritage in NYC which was incredible as it involved three of the authors speaking more explicitly about their parents and own experiences and moderated by a dynamic, also 2G person.
The book was even more incredible although tragic, depressing, and life-affirming all at the same time.
I would highly recommend it to anyone and everyone, interested in the Holocaust or not.

[Joel Ungar · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book after seeing three of the contributors at our local bookstore. I've always said I grew up around the Holocaust. But not like these women and their fellow contributors. They grew up with parents dealing with severe trauma, in a day when PTSD was unknown. They grew up without grandparents and aunts and uncles, as they'd been murdered in the Holocaust.

Very emotional reading and highly recommended.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those rare books that I bought (from an independent bookstore instead of checking out from the library) and plan to keep, loan to friends, and read again. The 2G survivors were so brave to tell their stories. I will never forget them.

[Michelle Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! It was a great follow-up to We Were the Lucky Ones by Georgia Hunter, the fictional account of a family that mostly survived the Holocaust. This book is a series of essays on growing up the child of Holocaust survivor(s).

[Merrily · Rating 4 out of 5]

From our local community.

[Lynn Gonzalez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an enlightening and tough read. I hope those who contributed their stories found it as somewhat of a cathartic journey.