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Unfollow Your Passion: How to Create a Life that Matters to You
One of the Best Feel-Good Books of 2021 by The Washington Post A hilarious and honest not-quite-self-help book in the vein of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies and I Used to Have a Plan.Every person on the planet wants their life to mean something. The problem is that you’ve been told there’s only one way to find that meaning. In Unfollow Your Passion, Terri Trespicio—whose TEDx talk has more than six million views—questions everything you think you passion (fun, but fleeting), plans (flimsy at best), and a bucket list (eye roll), to name a few. Instead, she shows you how (and why) to flip society, culture, and the #patriarchy the bird so you can live life on your terms. Trespicio effortlessly guides you through her method of unhooking yourself from other people’s agendas, boning up on the skills to move you forward, and exploring your own creativity, memory, and intuition to unlock your unique path to meaning—while also confronting the challenges that stop you in your tracks, like boredom, loss, and fear. Unfollow Your Passion is a fresh and fearless “must-read for anyone looking for a more meaningful life” (Mel Robbins, author of The 5 Second Rule).
288 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2021
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2149 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 64 reviews
December 28, 2021
I bought this after connecting emotionally with the first couple of pages of the introduction, which spoke to my lost, fresh-out-of-college self. If only I'd had this book when I was 22, how much heartache I might have been spared! But I'm 39, and much of what she writes about I'd come to realize, too, after much trial and error over almost 20 years, so I skimmed through some parts that already felt familiar. But overall I believe very strongly in her message—the whole "find your passion and never work a day in your life" b.s. is dangerous and sets many of us up with unrealistic expectations. She does a good job bringing things back down to earth (in a somewhat wordy 260 pages; she shares a lot of her own personal narrative). I've jotted down the parts that stood out the most to me:
- "There's a critical difference between 'planning' and 'plans.' Planning is something we must do here in the matrix to avoid a nonstop logistical nightmare. But plans? Plans are different. Plans are flimsy. They change. They collapse under the weight of nearly anything, from a twisted ankle to a global pandemic. Think you're meeting Savannah for brunch on Sunday? You are, in theory. Until Savannah wakes up with hangover that scores a seven on the Richter scale and brunch is not happening. The problem isn't planning per se—it's an attachment to the outcome of said plans, to the idea that plans must align precisely with reality in order for you to be happy. And the more attached you are to your plans, well, the more disappointed you will undoubtedly be. ... I'm sure you have plans. Plans for next Tuesday, plans for next year. For your career. Plans buoy us, give us something to aim for. The point here is to understand our relationship to plans and allow the functionality and usefulness of plans to keep us moving, but not keep us bound. ... 'There's an emotional lie to overplanning... It creates a security blanket that lets you assume you have things under control, that you are further along than you really are, that you're home free when you haven't even walked out the door yet.' ... Show me someone who lives and dies by plans, who clings white-knuckled to How Things Are Supposed to Go, and I'll show you someone who does not trust—situations, or other people, or, more important, themselves. And if you cannot trust, it's hard to move forward with the confidence and ease we most want to feel and broadcast to the world." (p. 184-185)
- "Plan your actions, not your outcomes. Because you can't plan an outcome anyways, you can only hope for one." (p. 186)
- "Plans don't give our life meaning; they give it structure." (p. 189) Planning helps with preparation, so if you're not too attached to your plans, you can be prepared and respond to something fully in the moment. "Hold your plans like a butterfly." (p. 191)
- Commitment is an act, not an inherent trait about you. "I believe in worthy effort, I do not believe in going down with the ship." (p. 209) "Commitment isn't the same as compliance, or dependence, or need. No one else can commit for you or 'make' you do it, especially if you don't want to; if they do, you can call it many things, but you can't call it commitment. And just as choosing what to commit to is critical, so is choosing when that commitment has run its course." (p. 210) "If you're not allowed to end a commitment, you're being kept against your own will and someone needs to call the authorities." (p. 213) "Commitment is the energy and attention you give to one thing at the expense of the others. And it stops when you stop. You are not the promise you made two, ten, twenty years ago, whatever that promise was. ... You're capable of commitment and can plug it into whatever you do—but more important, you can change it, because your commitment begins and ends with you." (p. 214)
- "Everything worth doing is hard. Building a business is hard. Ending a relationship is hard. Raising kids is hard. Getting out of bed is pretty damn hard. ... When you look back over your life, the things that were hard to do were also worth it. And you did them for a reason. What we have to be careful of, myself included, is falling into the trap of telling ourselves that things are hard, even too hard, and use that as a reason not to do them. ... What if, instead of talking about how hard things are, we talked about why they're worth it?" (p. 223)
- "Not only do we sometimes end up trying to fix the wrong things—the fixes don't even work. ... Whatever pain we feel ... the cause may not be what we think it is. ... If you believe there's a hole in your life because you haven't found X (a man, a woman, your dream job, your ultimate purpose), how sure are you that that's the answer? You're not, of course. I'm not trying to tell you not to want what you want. But to pin everything onto one goal, to believe that one thing would 'fix' your life? Do you believe that's true? What are the odds? Ten to forty percent, would you say? ... Believing things are fixed or need to be fixed is the problem. Everything is in flux and in flow." (p. 230)
- "What if there was nothing was fix? ... Unfix yourself. ... When you're not fixed, or fixated, on one part of one idea of yourself, you're free to shift and change, and to discover new things about the world and yourself, which is one of the most exciting things about being alive. Recognize that nothing is a foregone conclusion—not your job, your genetics, not your address, not even whatever it is you're doing right now." (p. 236-237)
- "The future is never what we expect, because we don't have the tools to imagine it with. ... We're not only not supposed to know or plan everything; we also literally can't imagine what's possible." (p. 237-238)
- "Things that don't end are terrifying. The things that never close—casinos, all-night diners, twenty-four-hour convenience stores, the New York City subway—aren't marked by joy and thriving. ... When and if you find yourself in such a place, get in, get what you need, and get the fuck out. ... If we can't learn to appreciate an ending when it comes, we risk being stuck... While we don't have to obsess over or focus on endings, we can anticipate and expect that they will come. ... The ending isn't the failing of an effort... It is the punctuation on a sentence you care about, and the punctuation matters. It doesn't just need a place to end; it deserves it." (p. 243-245)
- "The end of a friendship is perhaps even more heartbreaking, because the only reason to really end it is that you simply don't want that person in your life anymore. We don't have an infinite capacity for friendships, but you have room for more than one. So when you end it, it's not sexual or circumstantial; it's, No, really, I'm done. I had a close friend for years; we talked every day. ... I still don't know what happened. We never even fought. One by one, my invitations were declined, my texts fell down a well. ... I didn't tell her We Need to Talk. ... You kind of get the hint. And, given the chill and finality with which she'd so completely departed my life, I didn't think anything I said would matter. ... For reasons I may never know, she decided that a life without me suited her better than one with me. She doesn't actually need another reason than that. No one does." (p. 244-245)
- We're not completely free but we do have choices. (p. 251)
- "What else is the point, really—what's the point of anything we might do—if we cannot and will not wring ourselves out for the few things we can do, make, contribute, no matter what they are? We can control where we put our attention and effort, even if we cannot control where those efforts take us, or how they will succeed. You live it out, give it what you have, all of what you have, knowing that they're always a chance that one egg [octopus metaphor] could beat the odds, sure, maybe five if you're lucky, but that that was never the point." (p. 259)
- "There's a critical difference between 'planning' and 'plans.' Planning is something we must do here in the matrix to avoid a nonstop logistical nightmare. But plans? Plans are different. Plans are flimsy. They change. They collapse under the weight of nearly anything, from a twisted ankle to a global pandemic. Think you're meeting Savannah for brunch on Sunday? You are, in theory. Until Savannah wakes up with hangover that scores a seven on the Richter scale and brunch is not happening. The problem isn't planning per se—it's an attachment to the outcome of said plans, to the idea that plans must align precisely with reality in order for you to be happy. And the more attached you are to your plans, well, the more disappointed you will undoubtedly be. ... I'm sure you have plans. Plans for next Tuesday, plans for next year. For your career. Plans buoy us, give us something to aim for. The point here is to understand our relationship to plans and allow the functionality and usefulness of plans to keep us moving, but not keep us bound. ... 'There's an emotional lie to overplanning... It creates a security blanket that lets you assume you have things under control, that you are further along than you really are, that you're home free when you haven't even walked out the door yet.' ... Show me someone who lives and dies by plans, who clings white-knuckled to How Things Are Supposed to Go, and I'll show you someone who does not trust—situations, or other people, or, more important, themselves. And if you cannot trust, it's hard to move forward with the confidence and ease we most want to feel and broadcast to the world." (p. 184-185)
- "Plan your actions, not your outcomes. Because you can't plan an outcome anyways, you can only hope for one." (p. 186)
- "Plans don't give our life meaning; they give it structure." (p. 189) Planning helps with preparation, so if you're not too attached to your plans, you can be prepared and respond to something fully in the moment. "Hold your plans like a butterfly." (p. 191)
- Commitment is an act, not an inherent trait about you. "I believe in worthy effort, I do not believe in going down with the ship." (p. 209) "Commitment isn't the same as compliance, or dependence, or need. No one else can commit for you or 'make' you do it, especially if you don't want to; if they do, you can call it many things, but you can't call it commitment. And just as choosing what to commit to is critical, so is choosing when that commitment has run its course." (p. 210) "If you're not allowed to end a commitment, you're being kept against your own will and someone needs to call the authorities." (p. 213) "Commitment is the energy and attention you give to one thing at the expense of the others. And it stops when you stop. You are not the promise you made two, ten, twenty years ago, whatever that promise was. ... You're capable of commitment and can plug it into whatever you do—but more important, you can change it, because your commitment begins and ends with you." (p. 214)
- "Everything worth doing is hard. Building a business is hard. Ending a relationship is hard. Raising kids is hard. Getting out of bed is pretty damn hard. ... When you look back over your life, the things that were hard to do were also worth it. And you did them for a reason. What we have to be careful of, myself included, is falling into the trap of telling ourselves that things are hard, even too hard, and use that as a reason not to do them. ... What if, instead of talking about how hard things are, we talked about why they're worth it?" (p. 223)
- "Not only do we sometimes end up trying to fix the wrong things—the fixes don't even work. ... Whatever pain we feel ... the cause may not be what we think it is. ... If you believe there's a hole in your life because you haven't found X (a man, a woman, your dream job, your ultimate purpose), how sure are you that that's the answer? You're not, of course. I'm not trying to tell you not to want what you want. But to pin everything onto one goal, to believe that one thing would 'fix' your life? Do you believe that's true? What are the odds? Ten to forty percent, would you say? ... Believing things are fixed or need to be fixed is the problem. Everything is in flux and in flow." (p. 230)
- "What if there was nothing was fix? ... Unfix yourself. ... When you're not fixed, or fixated, on one part of one idea of yourself, you're free to shift and change, and to discover new things about the world and yourself, which is one of the most exciting things about being alive. Recognize that nothing is a foregone conclusion—not your job, your genetics, not your address, not even whatever it is you're doing right now." (p. 236-237)
- "The future is never what we expect, because we don't have the tools to imagine it with. ... We're not only not supposed to know or plan everything; we also literally can't imagine what's possible." (p. 237-238)
- "Things that don't end are terrifying. The things that never close—casinos, all-night diners, twenty-four-hour convenience stores, the New York City subway—aren't marked by joy and thriving. ... When and if you find yourself in such a place, get in, get what you need, and get the fuck out. ... If we can't learn to appreciate an ending when it comes, we risk being stuck... While we don't have to obsess over or focus on endings, we can anticipate and expect that they will come. ... The ending isn't the failing of an effort... It is the punctuation on a sentence you care about, and the punctuation matters. It doesn't just need a place to end; it deserves it." (p. 243-245)
- "The end of a friendship is perhaps even more heartbreaking, because the only reason to really end it is that you simply don't want that person in your life anymore. We don't have an infinite capacity for friendships, but you have room for more than one. So when you end it, it's not sexual or circumstantial; it's, No, really, I'm done. I had a close friend for years; we talked every day. ... I still don't know what happened. We never even fought. One by one, my invitations were declined, my texts fell down a well. ... I didn't tell her We Need to Talk. ... You kind of get the hint. And, given the chill and finality with which she'd so completely departed my life, I didn't think anything I said would matter. ... For reasons I may never know, she decided that a life without me suited her better than one with me. She doesn't actually need another reason than that. No one does." (p. 244-245)
- We're not completely free but we do have choices. (p. 251)
- "What else is the point, really—what's the point of anything we might do—if we cannot and will not wring ourselves out for the few things we can do, make, contribute, no matter what they are? We can control where we put our attention and effort, even if we cannot control where those efforts take us, or how they will succeed. You live it out, give it what you have, all of what you have, knowing that they're always a chance that one egg [octopus metaphor] could beat the odds, sure, maybe five if you're lucky, but that that was never the point." (p. 259)
October 20, 2021
4.5 stars. There is a lot to ruminate on here, but what is especially valuable is that there is also a lot to DO. Each chapter includes exercises for the reader to help them apply the concepts to their lives and work through new ways of thinking.
I appreciated the message that action--almost any action--is better than any of the "shoulds" we all carry around. Readers are encouraged to examine their lives and really consider whether assigned roles, commitments, and ideas about what they're good at or are interested are serving them and their growth, or hemming them in.
This is of special use to women, who, as the author notes, often have roles and expectations imposed upon them that serve to benefit other people. This book serves as a great call challenge the status quo in order to grow.
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!
I appreciated the message that action--almost any action--is better than any of the "shoulds" we all carry around. Readers are encouraged to examine their lives and really consider whether assigned roles, commitments, and ideas about what they're good at or are interested are serving them and their growth, or hemming them in.
This is of special use to women, who, as the author notes, often have roles and expectations imposed upon them that serve to benefit other people. This book serves as a great call challenge the status quo in order to grow.
Many thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review!
January 25, 2022
As someone who's a big fan of and consumes a lot of self-development books, I am incredibly impressed by Terri Trespecio's Unfollow Your Passion. Trespecio offers sound advice and insights into human nature -- discussing such topics as why it's important to examine the beliefs we've swallowed throughout life, why one's comfort zone is something to cherish and cultivate, and why it's not necessary to follow a singular passion (or even to start out with passion. What's important is to start). In addition, Trespecio gifts her readers with a number of writing prompts at the end of each chapter which unearth awareness, connections, and ways for us to move forward.
One of those writing prompts was invaluable in helping me to put my inner critic (a stoggy, white, middle-age male) in his place, something I've been struuggling to do for many years as an artist, freeing me to explore new ideas and ventures.
The lessons, wisdom, and insights I gleaned from Unfollow Your Passion are reasons enough to recommend this book, but their value is also on par with the book's beautiful language and story telling prowess. At various points, this easy-to-read book feels as if it's equal parts novel, memoir, and poetry. Moreover, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that Unfollow Your Passion had me laughing, crying, and thinking over and over 'right on!'
I anticipate that this impressive book is one that I will reach for many times over in the years to come.
One of those writing prompts was invaluable in helping me to put my inner critic (a stoggy, white, middle-age male) in his place, something I've been struuggling to do for many years as an artist, freeing me to explore new ideas and ventures.
The lessons, wisdom, and insights I gleaned from Unfollow Your Passion are reasons enough to recommend this book, but their value is also on par with the book's beautiful language and story telling prowess. At various points, this easy-to-read book feels as if it's equal parts novel, memoir, and poetry. Moreover, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that Unfollow Your Passion had me laughing, crying, and thinking over and over 'right on!'
I anticipate that this impressive book is one that I will reach for many times over in the years to come.
January 9, 2023
Had some really strong points at times and I highly recommend reading the audiobook because the author narrates it and she’s fantastic! I didn’t have that “I can’t put this book down!” Feeling or “I want to savor this for as long as possible!” Feeling that I hope for with personal growth and nonfiction but it’s okay. I definitely recommend if you’ve been told “follow your passion” and felt any type of way about it. This is a fun counter argument to that.
February 17, 2022
Things do not need be hard to be worth it. Questioning commitments do not make you non committal. Live life instead of trying to make a living out of it. The book is a concentration of tilted perceptions of the society, how to overcome common beliefs to get to where you truly want to be.
At what point does seeking out new challenges become a convenient way to hide from the actual hard things? My bigger concern is that the discomfort as growth strategy is not only a waste of time but also a slippery slope. Because if you must target discomfort to grow, you may also think you must suffer to work, or struggle to find love. Why would we agree to that equation?
February 17, 2022
Did a fair amount of skimming. Engaging anecdotes that often seemed to obscure the point rather than illuminate it. Disingenuous claims to be offering the opposite of the “usual” advice while actually just repackaging it. (Don’t get out of your comfort zone - Expand your comfort zone instead! This distinction only works if you pretend, as the author does, that people who are advising leaving your comfort zone are telling you to seek perpetual discomfort for its own sake.)
March 24, 2023
I think this book should be getting more attention! I listened to the audiobook after flipping through it at Chapters. She is hilarious to listen to! Her examples are plentiful. There are many questions for you to reflect on at the end of each chapter. In the end, it really made me think.
Success finds passion. Not the other way around.
You didn’t miss your calling - waiting for a calling will have you missing everything else that comes along the way that you can learn from.
You don’t need to make a living off of everything you know how to do.
If you’re getting paid for something it’s not a gift anymore. It’s a job.
You don’t have to earn your living from just one thing.
Who you are is not dependent on who you get your one big cheque from. In the end, your life will become what you spend your time on. Not who paid you. What matters is that you choose what you are doing.
Everything has a beginning, a middle and an end.
The idea is not to do something forever. But to do your best for the right people at the right time and to know when that time has passed.
Choice is an action. Choosing the wrong things can take your life down.
Commitment is not the same as compliance, dependence, or need. Just as choosing what to commit to is critical. So is deciding when that commitment has run its course.
We all have to say no to many opportunities to get even one thing done. Everything worth doing is hard. But don’t fall into the trap of calling something hard and then not doing it. Talk about why it’s worth it instead.
When you decide to see what’s working it’s easier to let go of what’s not.
Look at what’s working in everything you do. If you can’t see what’s working how can you expect to do more of it?
Success finds passion. Not the other way around.
You didn’t miss your calling - waiting for a calling will have you missing everything else that comes along the way that you can learn from.
You don’t need to make a living off of everything you know how to do.
If you’re getting paid for something it’s not a gift anymore. It’s a job.
You don’t have to earn your living from just one thing.
Who you are is not dependent on who you get your one big cheque from. In the end, your life will become what you spend your time on. Not who paid you. What matters is that you choose what you are doing.
Everything has a beginning, a middle and an end.
The idea is not to do something forever. But to do your best for the right people at the right time and to know when that time has passed.
Choice is an action. Choosing the wrong things can take your life down.
Commitment is not the same as compliance, dependence, or need. Just as choosing what to commit to is critical. So is deciding when that commitment has run its course.
We all have to say no to many opportunities to get even one thing done. Everything worth doing is hard. But don’t fall into the trap of calling something hard and then not doing it. Talk about why it’s worth it instead.
When you decide to see what’s working it’s easier to let go of what’s not.
Look at what’s working in everything you do. If you can’t see what’s working how can you expect to do more of it?
May 18, 2022
Terri Trespicio must be a lovely individual, because unlike so many people who try to be funny through text, she actually accomplishes it. I was surprised by how many times she turned a phrase and made me chuckle, all while giving mostly solid advice. Good place for anyone skeptical of personal development books but interested in seeing what the genre has to offer.
December 23, 2021
Very good helpful things that I really needed to know. Also will try in my life. A very good read!!
July 1, 2022
Your life is not one big leap, but a series of steps.
Ideas about your life and what you should do and who should be come from other people and are
not rules that you need to follow. Do not let other people make your choices and live your life.
Everything is practice.
Ideas about your life and what you should do and who should be come from other people and are
not rules that you need to follow. Do not let other people make your choices and live your life.
Everything is practice.
June 30, 2022
This book was heading for a 5* right up to the chapter where the author praises MLMs and claims people who get sucked in and lose money just aren’t trying hard enough. And then the rest of the book felt a bit tainted.
Read the beginning. Skip the rest.
Read the beginning. Skip the rest.
June 28, 2024
Really didn't resonate with the author's story or her advice.
September 27, 2022
Turning the familiar phrase "follow your passion" on its head, Terri continues that theme with the content: unsubscribe, uncover, and unleash. I was privileged enough to hear Terri's TEDx talk in person, so, delightfully, I hear her voice in my head as I read it. This book is very much HER, and represents what her life experiences have been so far, shared with authenticity and vulnerability rarely seen from people who have "made it." The last few chapters—chapter 20 especially—showcase Terri's powerful skills as a writer, a communicator, a loving human being, and an educator. She asks, "What can you do, right now, to set yourself free?" No one can answer that, or any of the other questions she poses in the book.
I have dog-eared many pages and underlined many passages as brilliant and worthy of sharing. This is a recommended read for anyone fed up with feeling guilt about (and other people telling you) what you "should" and "should not" be pursuing in your life. The through-line of this book is: live your life the way you damn well want to!
I have dog-eared many pages and underlined many passages as brilliant and worthy of sharing. This is a recommended read for anyone fed up with feeling guilt about (and other people telling you) what you "should" and "should not" be pursuing in your life. The through-line of this book is: live your life the way you damn well want to!
January 30, 2025
Not my cup of tea, although it’s nice to see someone offering contrary advice to the usual positive thought tribe. I think theres dome terrible book may be of use to people who are drifting through life and need meaning or guidance but this is not me.
January 15, 2022
Just finished reading Unfollow your passion… and, for once, I actually agree with how the book was described : “A hilarious and honest not quite a self-help book…” Trespicio’s book is entertaining, frank, and a self-help/help yourself kind of book. Even though I quickly realized I was way over the age of the target audience for parts of the book, the entertaining style kept me going until I got back on track. Chapters dealing with topics such as plans and planning, boredom, commitments, endings… speak to a broad spectrum of readers. The number of references and examples that peppered each chapter more than demonstrated that the author had done her homework. Besides hearing from the “experts,” each chapter contains a lot that just makes sense. To take exploring each topic a step further, each chapter closes with a guided writing exercise – useful for deeper reflection and personalization.
A refreshing and readable addition to the self-help shelf.
FYI - I received a copy of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
A refreshing and readable addition to the self-help shelf.
FYI - I received a copy of this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
April 15, 2022
I didn't do all the writing prompts, but agree with all or most of the philosophies. Lots of inspirational and funny anecdotes, as is typical for this type of book. Overall well-done and well-read in the audio version by the author. I particularly resonated with the chapter on boredom.
April 5, 2024
I went into this with an open mind and ended up more and more disappointed as the book went on. It is a boss babe motivational speaker kind of book.
The general premise is good- people aren’t really called or have a purpose. We just find something we’re good at and don’t hate and do that and will find better success and happiness than if we searched for the perfect job. For someone that hasn’t tackled deconstructing these cultural beliefs, this book could be very helpful.
The trouble is this message is wrapped in a very white, middle class, privileged perspective while not considering that some of the problems we’re experiencing is the exploitive nature of capitalism and the exceptionally awful situation we find ourselves in with post capitalism.
I don’t fit the mold for the kind of person the author was speaking to, but she was making good points so I was pushing through. I kept catching myself getting distracted and tuning the audio book out (not a problem I normally have) and then she launched into how an mlm had been key to some of her life successes and at that point I just called it quits. A reference to dating a NYPD officer didn’t help. The book was written in 2020/2021 so that timing felt exceptionally off considering the awareness brought during the George Floyd’s protests.)
I gave it the extra star for the books willingness to declare that having a purpose or calling for a career is not healthy, beneficial, or the reality of life. For those that haven’t tackled that subject, this book would be perfect.
If you want a very politically correct, “capitalism is good, you’re just doing it wrong” book- you might enjoy this. I never did find the humor the book was supposed to have and am well enough disillusioned to know these aren’t the solutions and advice I’m looking for in my life.
I DNF at 59%
The general premise is good- people aren’t really called or have a purpose. We just find something we’re good at and don’t hate and do that and will find better success and happiness than if we searched for the perfect job. For someone that hasn’t tackled deconstructing these cultural beliefs, this book could be very helpful.
The trouble is this message is wrapped in a very white, middle class, privileged perspective while not considering that some of the problems we’re experiencing is the exploitive nature of capitalism and the exceptionally awful situation we find ourselves in with post capitalism.
I don’t fit the mold for the kind of person the author was speaking to, but she was making good points so I was pushing through. I kept catching myself getting distracted and tuning the audio book out (not a problem I normally have) and then she launched into how an mlm had been key to some of her life successes and at that point I just called it quits. A reference to dating a NYPD officer didn’t help. The book was written in 2020/2021 so that timing felt exceptionally off considering the awareness brought during the George Floyd’s protests.)
I gave it the extra star for the books willingness to declare that having a purpose or calling for a career is not healthy, beneficial, or the reality of life. For those that haven’t tackled that subject, this book would be perfect.
If you want a very politically correct, “capitalism is good, you’re just doing it wrong” book- you might enjoy this. I never did find the humor the book was supposed to have and am well enough disillusioned to know these aren’t the solutions and advice I’m looking for in my life.
I DNF at 59%
December 15, 2021
Overall, I enjoyed this! I'm not a huge fan of self-help books, but I do appreciate topics/content that focus on asking the reader to take a step back and analyze their lives to see if they're getting the most out of it and/or living it every day to the fullest.
I also thought the exercises included was a nice touch.
Thank you, Atria and NetGalley for a copy of this eARC in exchange for my review!
I also thought the exercises included was a nice touch.
Thank you, Atria and NetGalley for a copy of this eARC in exchange for my review!
July 16, 2022
A self-help / improvement book that does have some good points, but maybe didn't feel like it fully pulls together into a consistent message or style.
What is great about this book is its challenge of the idea that things need to be hard to be worth it.
I personally didn't like the structure of the book as a workbook - with time at the end of each chapter for you as a read to stop, write and reflect. I think the best books are those that are filled with such insight that you go "mmmm" in a positive way... and then pause because you need time to think about what you've just realised for the first time in your life. The structured pausing to reflect felt too forced for it, but I could see it would be useful for some.
What is great about this book is its challenge of the idea that things need to be hard to be worth it.
I personally didn't like the structure of the book as a workbook - with time at the end of each chapter for you as a read to stop, write and reflect. I think the best books are those that are filled with such insight that you go "mmmm" in a positive way... and then pause because you need time to think about what you've just realised for the first time in your life. The structured pausing to reflect felt too forced for it, but I could see it would be useful for some.
February 1, 2023
Overall there were some great takeaways from the book that others have already covered in their reviews. I appreciated those and as an overall package, I liked the book.
With that said, the author gets a bit overly personal IMO in multiple occasions regarding details of her sex life. While they were tied to points she was trying to make, I feel those could've easily been covered with other examples. These alone took this book from being one I'd easily recommend to one that I'd definitely hesitate to share. 🤷🏼♀️
With that said, the author gets a bit overly personal IMO in multiple occasions regarding details of her sex life. While they were tied to points she was trying to make, I feel those could've easily been covered with other examples. These alone took this book from being one I'd easily recommend to one that I'd definitely hesitate to share. 🤷🏼♀️
June 22, 2022
Not really what I expected
This book was really about the author and her trek through her life. Lots of f-bombs and other foul language, which seemed to be used to prove something to the reader about how free the author is.
The exercises were good, however, and the reader will get some self-knowledge out of doing them.
This book was really about the author and her trek through her life. Lots of f-bombs and other foul language, which seemed to be used to prove something to the reader about how free the author is.
The exercises were good, however, and the reader will get some self-knowledge out of doing them.
December 24, 2022
Chapter about the author's virginity was definitely not what I expected to find in a book. Really don't want to know nothing about sex life or random strangers..
The book has nothing new from similar books, so if you read some on topic before I wouldn't bother with this one.
Also, I could be so much shorter. Too much water... But I guess it's topical for this type of books.
The book has nothing new from similar books, so if you read some on topic before I wouldn't bother with this one.
Also, I could be so much shorter. Too much water... But I guess it's topical for this type of books.
May 29, 2022
Hmm. It's gonna take me a few days to write a review for this. I think the author believes that she has hit on a singular approach for building a life/career on your terms, but I am unclear on what she perceives as "conventional" wisdom.
December 28, 2023
The gist: get out of the mindset of thinking that you should find your passion and then figure out how to get paid for it... by figuring out what you're really good at and getting people to pay you for it. Which will just happen if you decide it will.
Not what I wanted out of it.
Not what I wanted out of it.
January 23, 2022
While there were a few thought provoking exercise, I felt she rambled on and didn't really tie any of it together
December 24, 2021
WOW. In reading a book, I attempt to determine who is the 'audience' for the book . OH my: high schoolers, college grads, those returning to school at 40 plus, anybody who feels 'lost' when they followed the cliched paths. I so wanted to sit and talk with Terri Trespicio. Her book resonates so much with what I found in being a Psych. Professor, a Psychotherapist, an auntie, a mom, a friend. Terri advocates 'sorting' your life , finding what factors in a job make you feel fulfilled... NOT the cliche of "when you - get married/have kids/gotocollege/graduate/make $200k a year , etc, ' you will be happy, content fulfilled. I absolutely encourage a reader of her book to read it through and THEN re-read, doing the exercises. It's what I had to do, to get a complete insight into the complex thing of 'sorting' the SELF. I had a young person in therapy who had been married 3 times. Under 30!!! Something I ask people to do is to identify what they want in a spouse. The list for this person truncated at 'good looking'. We worked so hard on sorting what they gained from each marriage, what factors they found desirable and which not. Trespicio has you look at your job, career choices in the same way: As you find successes and disappointments, sort what you liked/valued, what you disliked/hurt/demeaned. You don't HAVE to have that degree/be a career woman./follow what your good at ..Even if it's something you excel at. The exercises in the book are so important..perhaps what educators are calling Mindfulness. Her message of DO something, use it as a life lesson reminds me of The Cheshire Cat in Alice In Wonderland:
" If you don't know where You're going, any road will get you there". Her message is to start on that road. I got this book from Goodreads for an honest review.
" If you don't know where You're going, any road will get you there". Her message is to start on that road. I got this book from Goodreads for an honest review.
October 7, 2022
The book has three parts: unsubscribe, uncover, and unleash. In part one, the reader is encouraged to unsubscribe from limiting beliefs, biases, and expectations, both real and imagined. Uncover your skills, perspective, and talents in part two. Then, in part three, unleash—figure out how to have fun and fulfillment without control and learn to let go. The author provides insights into human nature, lessons she has learned, and exercises at the end of each chapter to prompt you to explore, connect, and move forward toward your own self-actualization and contentment. I would recommend this book to someone in their 20s or 30s or if you are soul searching about your own career choices.
Favorite bits:
Tips for Staying in Your Comfort Zone pp.29-30
• Define it
• Be unapologetic about it
• Process in the comfort zone
• Lean into what you’re good at
• Prevent hunger, nausea, and exhaustion
• Make your zone invite-only
How to Think like an Indispensable Person pp. 170-174
• Question what’s been done
• Have an opinion
• Explore your off-label uses
• Don’t apologize for not being a standard poodle
• Don’t be grabby
• Keep your options open
• Change how someone sees themselves or their work
The author shares her personal stories and opinions frankly and unapologetically. There are many practical takeaways—for someone of any age or time in their life—to ponder and act upon. At the end of each chapter are exercises and prompts to get the reader thinking. The way she flips conventions upside down, e.g., the bucket list mindset, is refreshing and thought-provoking.
Some parts of the book seemed too long, and I skimmed over some stories that were unrelatable to me. But overall, I liked the book.
Favorite bits:
Tips for Staying in Your Comfort Zone pp.29-30
• Define it
• Be unapologetic about it
• Process in the comfort zone
• Lean into what you’re good at
• Prevent hunger, nausea, and exhaustion
• Make your zone invite-only
How to Think like an Indispensable Person pp. 170-174
• Question what’s been done
• Have an opinion
• Explore your off-label uses
• Don’t apologize for not being a standard poodle
• Don’t be grabby
• Keep your options open
• Change how someone sees themselves or their work
The author shares her personal stories and opinions frankly and unapologetically. There are many practical takeaways—for someone of any age or time in their life—to ponder and act upon. At the end of each chapter are exercises and prompts to get the reader thinking. The way she flips conventions upside down, e.g., the bucket list mindset, is refreshing and thought-provoking.
Some parts of the book seemed too long, and I skimmed over some stories that were unrelatable to me. But overall, I liked the book.
September 27, 2023
Trspicio flips the adage of "follow your passion" on its head with a frank and direct book arguing against connecting your interests and your career. Unfollowing passions is something everyone does as they grow and reshape their identity. The career title you told everyone you wanted as a child is rarely what you grew up to become. This comes in part with a change in identity as we age. In this book, the author encourages the reader to examine themselves in order to change their mindset about who they are be open to the ideas of who they could become.
Throughout the book, the author tells her story of stumbling or failing in a variety of roles in various industries. Her sense of identity was the main obstacle that prevented her from pivoting to opportunities that presented themselves. With each career change came a reflection point where Trespicio asked herself if she had the basic skills to take on a new challenge and a new role.
This book reads like a journaling exercise, asking you to participate in the messages presented in each chapter by writing your own feelings or experiences on specific subjects. This can be a helpful experience, as many of the chapters evoke memories and personal reflection which can distract from finishing the book.
It is difficult to recommend who should read this book, as any self-help work is best read by someone at a crossroads. If you're tired of your job, or finding your post-graduate career a little boring, "Unfollow Your Passion," can be a good read to change your perspective and reflect on your thoughts.
Throughout the book, the author tells her story of stumbling or failing in a variety of roles in various industries. Her sense of identity was the main obstacle that prevented her from pivoting to opportunities that presented themselves. With each career change came a reflection point where Trespicio asked herself if she had the basic skills to take on a new challenge and a new role.
This book reads like a journaling exercise, asking you to participate in the messages presented in each chapter by writing your own feelings or experiences on specific subjects. This can be a helpful experience, as many of the chapters evoke memories and personal reflection which can distract from finishing the book.
It is difficult to recommend who should read this book, as any self-help work is best read by someone at a crossroads. If you're tired of your job, or finding your post-graduate career a little boring, "Unfollow Your Passion," can be a good read to change your perspective and reflect on your thoughts.
May 12, 2023
Unfollow Your Passion by Terry Trespicio is a thought-provoking and refreshing take on the modern-day mantra of "finding your passion" and turning it into a career. Trespicio argues that this popular idea is overrated and often leads to unnecessary pressure and disappointment. Instead, she encourages readers to focus on their skills and talents, and to recognize that their passions may not necessarily translate into a fulfilling career.
The book is peppered with Trespicio's own personal experiences, making it relatable and authentic. She writes with clarity and candor, and her advice is practical and actionable. Her message is clear: it's not about following your passions, but rather about finding what you're good at and what brings you joy, which doesn't necessarily coincide with your passions.
This book is a must-read for anyone who is feeling lost or stuck in their career, or who is tired of chasing after their passions with little success. Trespicio's perspective is refreshing and empowering, and it offers readers a different way of thinking about their professional and personal lives.
Overall, Unfollow Your Passion is a solid and accessible self-help book that is sure to resonate with anyone looking for a new direction in life. Highly recommended!
*******Many thanks to Netgalley and Atria Books for providing an egalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.
The book is peppered with Trespicio's own personal experiences, making it relatable and authentic. She writes with clarity and candor, and her advice is practical and actionable. Her message is clear: it's not about following your passions, but rather about finding what you're good at and what brings you joy, which doesn't necessarily coincide with your passions.
This book is a must-read for anyone who is feeling lost or stuck in their career, or who is tired of chasing after their passions with little success. Trespicio's perspective is refreshing and empowering, and it offers readers a different way of thinking about their professional and personal lives.
Overall, Unfollow Your Passion is a solid and accessible self-help book that is sure to resonate with anyone looking for a new direction in life. Highly recommended!
*******Many thanks to Netgalley and Atria Books for providing an egalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.
February 7, 2023
When I first heard the title, 'Unfollow Your Passion,' I was curious as to how such a premise would unfold. But it wasn’t until it was highly recommended by someone I respected, that I decided to check it out. I was pleasantly surprised to find a synergy of fun wisdom and power that left me with many gifts. Not the least of which is a new affection for this writer, who so endeared me to her with the sheer fun and organic wit and wisdom she brings to the written word. She unpacks her beliefs and concepts deftly, through sweet stories, and as lovingly as from a suitcase placed on the bed of a well needed vacation spot. I didn’t think I had anything to learn about my longings and passions, as they are alive and well within me, with lots of well beaten baths for their expressions. So I was delighted to experience a truly fresh reframing of so much about how to live our best life. I want to hear more, I want her as a sister, and I hope this review inspires others to come away with at least as much as I did, having experienced Terri! This is the kind of book I want to share and gift my loved ones, up there with the likes of Glennon Doyle, Cheryl Strayed and Elizabeth Lesser, to name a few. Beautiful beautiful book in so many ways!
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