Quilt on Fire

by Christie Watson

'A wildly entertaining and necessary book' ELIZABETH DAY'A must-read for every woman' JACQUELINE WILSON'Laugh-out-loud, haunting and beautifully crafted' DREDA SAY MITCHELL________In her early twenties, Christie Watson was convinced she'd found her soulmate, in a glowing flash of light that turned out to be a tealight setting her quilt on fire. Twenty years later, her bed is burning once again... as she wakes in a perimenopausal sweat, night after night.This is the story of her journey through of the joy of letting go and the pain of the morning after, of the unstoppable power of female friendship and the struggle to raise teenagers as a single parent. It lays bare the exhilaration, agony, wonder and fears of being a middle-aged woman with a wild heart, a changing body and a new set of challenges. And as her world takes on a different shape, there's something else she starts to the hot flush of possibility...'Wickedly funny, deliciously candid and deeply moving' RACHEL CLARKE, author of Dear Life'Give Quilt on Fire to your daughter, mother, sister, friends. A howlingly good midlife battle cry' JESS KIDD, author of Things in Jars'Brilliant... Like having an honest conversation with a smart and funny friend' CATHY RENTZENBRINK, author of Dear Reader

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Friendship

240 pages, Paperback

Published June 16, 2022

About the author

Christie Watson is a professor of medical humanities at UEA, and worked as an NHS nurse for over twenty years. She has written six books, including her first novel, Tiny Sunbirds Far Away, which won the Costa First Novel Award, and the memoir, The Language of Kindness, which was a number one Sunday Times bestseller. Christie is a contributor to the Times, the Sunday Times, the Guardian, the Telegraph, and TEDx, and her work has been translated into twenty-three languages and adapted for theatre. Moral Injuries, her latest novel, is publishing March 14th (UK) and June (US).

Reviews

[Beth Bonini · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars

Considering that Christie Watson is a nurse and an academic this is a surprisingly non-medical ‘guidebook’ to the ‘messy’ perimenopause build-up to menopause. If you are having a particularly bad time emotionally, and struggling with a sense of self (and self-worth) you may find this to be an empathetic and comforting read. I did not connect with it on many points and mostly found it a tiresome slog to read.

I heard Watson speak at the Cambridge Literary Festival and I have a dreadful weakness for buying author’s books at literary events. I think that some women (probably ones who are 40-47) will find this book useful - just as a good, open talk with a friend is useful - but I’m past the stage where I felt like it had anything to offer me. I personally didn’t find it funny, although I’m sure that other women will do. It was far too anecdotal and not nearly factual enough although she does make an attempt to intersperse her MANY personal anecdotes with some psychological and occasionally medical information about this volatile period in a women’s life.

I did find it fascinating to learn that women are most likely to commit suicide and ‘blow up their lives’ (divorce, changing careers, etc) during the peak perimenopause age of 47-50, but now I cannot remember if this information came solely from the talk or if it is cited in this book, too. I do think perimenopause is a profound shift in a woman’s life but Watson makes a stronger case for the maddening side of it than the ‘magical’ bit.

[TwoDrinks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Was bought this as a work leaving present, probably because I’m such an advocate (read Noisy Woman) for women being more aware of their bodies and peri menopause symptoms. This book gave an interesting perspective that sees menopause as a positive change where women, because of their symptoms, are forced to become more introspective and connected to their bodies and create balance to manage symptoms. I found the bits about NHS experience of the odd things that A&E staff find in orifices quite funny. This is a book for women of all ages to read; it would make me a bit sad if younger women didn’t think it relevant to them because forewarned it forearmed.

[Catriona Fyfe · Rating 3 out of 5]

PR-GIFTED

Thanks so much to @vintagebooks for sending over this new memoir in exchange for an honest review. This novel was only just realised on June 16th and is available in hardback and ebook

This novel follows the 40 something author as she navigates her mid life and the start of perimenopause. The novel highlights how she was unaware of the many changes that happen to women during this age and how it impacted many areas of her life. She also discusses her thoughts on love and relationships both when she was younger and also when she hit midlife.

I thought the book was so open and honest with a lot of discussion points that would be great for someone perhaps starting perimenopause themselves or someone in their later 30’s who wants to learn what is to come. As a female in her early 20’s, I struggled to connect with the novel to relate to the character and it felt like it was perhaps slightly for an older audience. Nonetheless, I still enjoyed hearing about her wild antics with her friends and how she attempted to date again in her midlife

[Felicity · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I found out about this book I had to buy it as I have really enjoyed Watson's other books.

This book is part memoir about Watson's rebellious teenage years but also about her discovering she was perimenopausal at an earlier age than she expected and how awful the perimenopause and menopause can be. She is upfront about symptoms and the problems of a correct diagnosis let alone finding the right medication to help and now getting hold of HRT thanks to Brexit.

I raced through this. I love the way she is so up front and how she started to discover that being middle aged isn't a bad thing. Parts of it made me laugh. Definitely a book I will keep to hand when I get to that stage.

[HelenA33 · Rating 1 out of 5]

I first heard about Christie Watson from a nurse friend, who pressed me to read her books; somehow I never got round to it and life moved on. When I heard about this one, about midlife (the very stage I’m at!) and peri menopause, I treated myself. Although slightly older than the author, I was pretty sure that there would be stuff I could relate to.

After a couple of promising first pages, the author started talking about having her vulva waxed, and I started to feel uncomfortable. I felt as if I was at the apex of a triangle. I was going up one trajectory, but the author was going up the other; I couldn’t join her and was out of my depth.

The more interesting parts of the book: nursing, death and facts about the menopause are scattered through the chapters, but they are almost lost in the oversharing of the author’s life (way too much detail about her sex life and the drunken escapades of her friends). Along with frequent and unnecessarily use of the ‘f’ word, there is an irreverency about her writing which made me feel really sad. Such as, “It was all going so well until he took his top off. He had Jesus Loves Me tattooed on his chest”, and, “Bible Ben, as the mean kids called him”, but the author carries on calling him that throughout the book, even though she doesn’t consider herself one of the mean kids; as if we the reader won’t remember his name without its prefix. Rather than a celebration of womanhood, this book was for me a huge disappointment, and not the uplifting encouragement I’d hoped for.

Forgive me if this all sounds harsh, but as I purchased the book, I feel free to give it an honest review. Please can I have my money back?

[Jenny Cooper · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book about the trials and tribulations of being a woman in midlife, focusing particularly on the perimenopause phase. It is written from the personal experience of the author and is punctuated with numerous anecdotal stories.

Personally I had never heard of the perimenopause but it seems to be an extended version of the menopause. Having read this book I now know quite a lot about it and the symptoms which accompany it. The jaunty writing style makes this book easy to read and it is very frank and candid.

Despite the engaging writing style, I found this book a bit of a hard slog. Possibly because it was so far away from my experience of the menopause that it seemed like a fairy tale, something I couldn’t relate to at all.
At times Christie is so brutally honest that I felt quite uncomfortable reading it and couldn’t imagine that her children would be happy with the level of exposure which she revealed about her personal life.

I’m not sure if I would recommend this book as it didn’t resonate with me personally. Other people may have different experiences of the perimenopausal time of life which may make the book more relevant to them.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Quilt of Fire Christie Watson manages to capture the experiences facing so many women in their 40s and 50s - trying to present to the world that everything is great while inside we're feeling a little bit broken.

As a single mum of 2 teenagers, Christie talks about her search for love, and the realisation that the love of family & really good friends is just as important as finding that one special person.

By sharing her own messy, imperfect & rich life, Christie encourages all to open up and talk honestly about our experiences – the good the bad & the ugly.

This would be perfect for book clubs - by admitting her failings she encourages to us to open up and share our own insecurities, and realise that we are not alone.

Christie is open, raw, brutally honest, caring & hilariously funny. Middle aged and behaving like a teenager. In Quilt on Fire Christie describes with honesty & affection the messiness of life in all its colour.

[Rosa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started well, with funny anecdotes that set up the theme of the book: a (peri) menopause memoir - a genre that seems to be growing in popularity. I enjoyed her style to start with, but as the chapters continued I found the continual metaphors a bit draining; life is a quilt, I am the whatever, etc. Then the pandemic gets mentioned and it got depressing as hell. I started to notice that sentences started to negate each other; this is this, but then also that. I get that this is meant to reflect the whole 'crisis of midlife' bit it felt a little hedgey, a bit safe, and ultimately not super-helpful if you were looking for guidance (I wasn't, and I wouldn't recommend this for such). It all ended rather neatly, too, which given all the stuff that happened felt a bit of a cop-out.

Easy read, not the worst if you want to know what sort of daft metaphorical thoughts are festering in the mind of the average forty-something woman. Men would hate this book, so there's also that.

[cotcom · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quilt on Fire follows this 40-something author into the dark and rarely headlined world of peri menopause; into the mystery of midlife, and the impact this has on women.
The first couple of chapters I found to be honest, grey, fearful and a little depressing. There was much discussion about how women change, how nobody talks it, and how nobody told the author about it. Or at least she wasn’t listening if they did.
I would have liked more information on being a nurse - mentioned numerous times - but only in the second half did the author delve a bit deeper into one of her professions, especially during Covid. This was fascinating.
The book is well written and as the story progresses it picks up pace and is very readable. I found myself enjoying the story and liking the main character - the author -much more as I read on. The story is full of entertaining bits about herself, her kids, mum, Grape Nan and her range of interesting and likeable friends.
Whilst the beginning isn’t particularly happy or uplifting, it is informative and insightful about the impact hormones and midlife can have on women. It sets the stage. As the story develops and the author opens up, with the help of her therapist, we see a much more content and accepting person.
I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone questioning midlife, wanting to know about peri menopause and the potential changes underway. As Watson says, peri menopause is a time for reflection, re-evaluation and a search for a new identity. Too true. 

[Sophie Lyman · Rating 4 out of 5]

GIFTED BY A PUBLISHER

My favourite genre of non-fiction is a memoir so I was very much looking forward to reading this one. It follows Christie Watson’s journey through mid life and being peri menopausal, as well as the joy of letting go, the power of female friendship and the struggle of raising teenagers as a single parent. And to top it off, all of this whilst the living through the pandemic. Considering the fact I’m neither middle aged nor perimenopausal, I found this book really easy to get into and whilst I didn’t relate to every aspect, there was plenty I did, particularly those bits around female friendship. What I really liked was how open and honest Watson was throughout, her life is by no means perfect and it was refreshing how she refused to shy away from that. In fact, it made her all the more relatable and encourages us as readers to open up and share both the good and the bad in our lives and know we’re not alone. I did really enjoy reading this one but I do think I was maybe a bit young for some of it, that’s not to say it wasn’t well worth reading and I would still definitely recommend.

[Tracy M]

“I’ve stopped trying to be perfect. I will never be perfect”

“My face is changing so fast I worry my iPhone face recognition won’t identify me”

Thank you Vintage books for sending me this wonderful memoir! I agree that every woman should read this. it’s an unfiltered insight into the messy midlife, of what’s to come and how to cope whilst not taking yourself to seriously but also about practising gratitude and changing perspectives.

I loved Christie’s friendship group and also the people she meets along the way and the lessons she learns from these ‘wise women’ especially Caroline and Joy
“I don’t need to wait for everything to be perfect to be happy. When everything looked perfect, I was unhappy. Now everything is a mess, I feel happier”
So many inspiring quotes!

[Grace Green · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book to read. I found enjoyment in reading Watson's stories, but I did not feel connected to her as the narrator. I liked individual tales, but overall did not feel sucked in to her message or learnings. I wonder if that is in part because her experience is so far from my own? Or perhaps it was a product of her written voice not aligning with what I prefer... Either way my outcome was the same - average.

That said I do think the stories of women, specifically middle aged women experiencing menopause, are important and need to be told. Perhaps one day I will revisit this book.

[Nihal Zaki · Rating 2 out of 5]

Being in your forties makes you fell messy, ugly, and even silly, that's what this book is about. If you are feeling good being forty, that book may help you feel less healthy, less beautiful, less confident, and that's why I actually read through just the half of it and and closed the book forever. Most of the issues discussed are IMO personal issues of the author, its not my problem that she relates that badly to her kids or feel that bad about her body or forgets important stuff or her car runs out of gas in the middle of high way or that she messes up any romantic relationship that may otherwise seem promising... those are not my problems, and certainly not the problem of experiencing the forties or going through midlife stage. So don't mess with me here I'm simple not interested or concerned enough

Merged review:

Being in your forties makes you fell messy, ugly, and even silly, that's what this book is about. If you are feeling good being forty, that book may help you feel less healthy, less beautiful, less confident, and that's why I actually read through just the half of it and and closed the book forever. Most of the issues discussed are IMO personal issues of the author, its not my problem that she relates that badly to her kids or feel that bad about her body or forgets important stuff or her car runs out of gas in the middle of high way or that she messes up any romantic relationship that may otherwise seem promising... those are not my problems, and certainly not the problem of experiencing the forties or going through midlife stage

[Mariaan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. Wish I read this in my early 40's. It's a fun, but extremely realistic take on peri menopause and menopause. Gosh not a single person ever told me what the hell was coming, and I had no clue what was happening. Still no one talks about it, and women in their 40's nervously laugh knowing that this will definitely not happen to them. Well strap in, it's like a bloody 10 ton truck hitting you, so you might as well laugh and read this book. And also get yourself a fan, you will need it 🤪

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

A pertinent and interesting read but nothing to blow my mind. I don't feel enlightened about the menopause, despite it's relevance to me and I didn't feel particularly moved or tickled, however I don't regret spending the time reading it.
It was well written but I think it possibly come across as slightly self indulgent.
Maybe this review sums up the menopausal issue with making much coherent, decisive sense!

[Matt Law · Rating 3 out of 5]

A vivid and honest recount of how the author navigates being a middle aged woman, the panic of having perimenopause, the physical and mental changes. Through her supportive friends and therapy sessions, the author slowly regains her hopes and understands what it means to be in mid life journey and challenges. Throughout the book, Watson drops some quotes from literary figures and scholars to highlight and validates her feelings, beliefs and the universal experiences around the world and through history. An eye-opening learning experience because I’m a man and in my 20s. I don’t think we all learnt about this in school.

[Sue · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author shares her experiences of the peri -menopause in this book. Wincingly open and honest, I both gasped and laughed out loud at several points in this book. No subject is off limits. I don't think I've ever read anything like this before. A book by a woman for women. Highly entertaining and informative.

[Catherine James · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a funny and insightful commentary on menopause and the lack of discussion surrounding it. And without any pointing the finger just a joyful celebration of women experiencing it together and not being afraid to share stories.

[Gill T · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book claimed that it was going to “lift the floorboards” on the menopause, but it didn’t! The first part of the book was a promising start , but the latter parts were more anecdotes that any women faces in life, rather than an examination of menopause.

[Rachel Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great book from Christie. Quilt on Fire invites you into Christie’s life and her personal journey. Elements of this book resonated with me so much touching on all emotions. Thank you 💫

[Miss NA · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant, as ever Christie writes openly with honestly. An essential read for everyone! Just brilliant.

[Kirsten Mackie · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded to 4*

[Shelley Lawson · Rating 1 out of 5]

A self indulgent set of autobiographical anecdotes that have little to do with the menopause. DNF

[Caroline Warren · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'd recommend absolutely everything written by Christie Watson. She writes from the heart, so beautifully, it feels like a personal letter from her to you.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny, with interesting observations, but densely packed.

[Jo Hurst · Rating 2 out of 5]

Part autobiography part essay and full scaremongering. If you are worried about menopause do not read this book. I am in the last stages of menopause and could not relate at all!

[Caroline · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a 42 year old woman questioning my own symptoms, I couldn’t put this book down (read in 2 days despite my life being chaotic right now!) So relatable and funny and heart warming.
Recommended read

[Alan Fricker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nicely framed with chapters. The elements that lean on experience around healthcare are beautiful

[M SReads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Couple of chapters very interesting and moving, struggled to finish it as is very inaccessible and can be hard to get into.

[Nicola Quinn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was kindly sent this one by the lovely @vintagebooks in exchange for an honest review. I found this book to honest, witty and very relevant to me. It is a book that all women will be able to relate to at some point in their lives. I spent a lot of time nodding away, saying “yes, that’s me!”
I switched between reading and listening to this one and it’s one i would definitely recommend.