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The 6 Pillars of Intimacy: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage
The #1 International Bestseller and Award Winner!"REFRESHING... [Dilorenzo] doesn't shy away from controversy... In the inviting tone of a friend she urges readers toward being 'intentional' in intimacy and never taking it for granted. A compact, EASILY READABLE compilation of relationship advice with bursts of playful style." — Booklife by Publishers Weekly
Is it really possible to rekindle the spark and restore the “like-new” connection in your marriage?
Can you strengthen your bond, grow together, and enjoy deeper levels of love and intimacy that rival your newlywed days? And can you do any or all of that without having to digest mountains of self-help books, or pouring your hearts out to a total stranger in endless counseling sessions?
Yes, it is possible—and as you read, you’ll see how easy it can be!
Authors Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo are passionate about helping Christian couples create their own extraordinary marriage. They do this through books, coaching, and through their #1 marriage podcast, “The ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show” where they connect with an audience of over 50,000 listeners around the world.
Their newest book, The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage, is based on their personal experience and from seeing the marriages of countless people they have worked with improve. They have learned some hard knock life lessons and discovered key principles that have kept their marriage (and sex life) alive and flourishing… and they did it together. Let them do the same for you!
Inside, you’ll
The six intimacies (pillars), and how to use them. That, if the pillars are solid and straight, they will keep your marriage thriving and ensure everything goes along smoothly, and how to do this. How, if the pillars become damaged, your marriage can start to collapse. The author’s real-life story, experience, and relationship struggles. And more. Even the best marriages can have cracks in their relationships. The difference is that extraordinary couples take action when they see those cracks happening.
Get The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® today to experience the extraordinary marriage you desire and deserve.
------------------------------⭐2023 Christian Indie Awards
Is it really possible to rekindle the spark and restore the “like-new” connection in your marriage?
Can you strengthen your bond, grow together, and enjoy deeper levels of love and intimacy that rival your newlywed days? And can you do any or all of that without having to digest mountains of self-help books, or pouring your hearts out to a total stranger in endless counseling sessions?
Yes, it is possible—and as you read, you’ll see how easy it can be!
Authors Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo are passionate about helping Christian couples create their own extraordinary marriage. They do this through books, coaching, and through their #1 marriage podcast, “The ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show” where they connect with an audience of over 50,000 listeners around the world.
Their newest book, The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage, is based on their personal experience and from seeing the marriages of countless people they have worked with improve. They have learned some hard knock life lessons and discovered key principles that have kept their marriage (and sex life) alive and flourishing… and they did it together. Let them do the same for you!
Inside, you’ll
The six intimacies (pillars), and how to use them. That, if the pillars are solid and straight, they will keep your marriage thriving and ensure everything goes along smoothly, and how to do this. How, if the pillars become damaged, your marriage can start to collapse. The author’s real-life story, experience, and relationship struggles. And more. Even the best marriages can have cracks in their relationships. The difference is that extraordinary couples take action when they see those cracks happening.
Get The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® today to experience the extraordinary marriage you desire and deserve.
------------------------------⭐2023 Christian Indie Awards
174 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 24, 2021
299 people are currently reading
666 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
March 30, 2024
This was a quick, easy read that sets readers up for success if they are willing to put in a little work. While I have a strong marriage, I do feel that it’s changing as we move into a new season. As the book says it’s easy to get caught up in the “busyness” of life and for our connection with our partner to fade or change.
I appreciate the analogy of the pillars as well as the reminder that we can (& should) be the one to take action if we want to change. Reading through this I found pillars that I think my husband and I are foundationally strong in and took encouragement in that. Likewise, I see areas where we can improve.
January 8, 2024
Short, but powerful book about improving intimacy; not a sex book, as much as a connection book. I loved how much emphasis is put on the multiple connection points in marriage: physical, sexual, emotional, spiritual, recreation, and financial intimacy. Many practical tips are given, especially for those "seasoned" marriages where connection looks different than it did on their wedding day. A great book to read separately, then come together to discuss.
March 19, 2022
This was truly such an eye opening book. Every single word and page seemed to be covered in encouragement and love. I have already recommended this book to many people in different seasons of marriage.
I don’t think this book is just for the “hail Mary” season of marriage. It can be for any season of it, good, bad and ugly. I think a lot of people don’t understand just how much life tries to attack a marriage all the time. This book was so encouraging. Loved it.
I don’t think this book is just for the “hail Mary” season of marriage. It can be for any season of it, good, bad and ugly. I think a lot of people don’t understand just how much life tries to attack a marriage all the time. This book was so encouraging. Loved it.
April 2, 2024
After almost thirty years of marriage, Alisa DiLorenzo and Tony DiLorenzo wrote The 6 Pillars of Intimacy to help couples maintain successful marriages. Using their religion as a foundation, Alisa DiLorenzo presents six intimacies translated into six pillars of marriage. She defines intimacy, outlines challenges in marriage, mentions marriage mentors, and assists readers in recognizing the "cracks" in particular pillars so you may address them. Mrs. DiLorenzo explains emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual intimacies and how each of them plays a role in a thriving marriage. At the end of each section discussing the pillars of marriage, Tony DiLorenzo discusses his feelings during difficult times in his marriage and what he felt improved their relationship.
No matter your season of marriage, Alisa DiLorenzo and Tony DiLorenzo have great suggestions for approaching your partner when you need to strengthen a particular intimacy. The authors erase stereotypes between genders in relation to their needs or preferences while providing confessions about their marriage and written results from people who have applied their methods and discovered a fruitful relationship. I recommend taking the intimacy quiz the authors have created and reference in the book, as it helps you determine strong and weak areas in your relationship. Things you may not have thought about elevating your connection with your partner before you read the book will become clearer as you move through the pages. The 6 Pillars of Intimacy is a great selection for readers who are ready to fortify their bond with their partner with a direct and loving approach.
No matter your season of marriage, Alisa DiLorenzo and Tony DiLorenzo have great suggestions for approaching your partner when you need to strengthen a particular intimacy. The authors erase stereotypes between genders in relation to their needs or preferences while providing confessions about their marriage and written results from people who have applied their methods and discovered a fruitful relationship. I recommend taking the intimacy quiz the authors have created and reference in the book, as it helps you determine strong and weak areas in your relationship. Things you may not have thought about elevating your connection with your partner before you read the book will become clearer as you move through the pages. The 6 Pillars of Intimacy is a great selection for readers who are ready to fortify their bond with their partner with a direct and loving approach.
June 6, 2024
Helpful!
Forget everything you thought you knew about intimacy in marriage. This throws out the "just sex" stereotype and offers a refreshing, holistic approach to building a truly extraordinary marriage.
This book is more than just another self-help tome. Alisa, a marriage podcast host with a warm, relatable voice, guides you through the six pillars that create a strong and vibrant relationship. It's not about lofty ideals; it's about practical tools and exercises you can use right away.
What truly sets this book apart is its focus on the why behind the pillars. Understanding how emotional intimacy, financial intimacy, and even recreational intimacy are all connected creates a powerful framework for building a strong foundation.
The authors' honesty about their own struggles is another highlight. They don't shy away from the messy realities of marriage, but instead offer hope and encouragement.
Whether your marriage is sailing smoothly or hitting some rough patches, thia book is a valuable resource. It's a wake-up call to invest in your relationship and create the extraordinary marriage you deserve. If you're ready to put in the work, this book is an excellent guide.
Forget everything you thought you knew about intimacy in marriage. This throws out the "just sex" stereotype and offers a refreshing, holistic approach to building a truly extraordinary marriage.
This book is more than just another self-help tome. Alisa, a marriage podcast host with a warm, relatable voice, guides you through the six pillars that create a strong and vibrant relationship. It's not about lofty ideals; it's about practical tools and exercises you can use right away.
What truly sets this book apart is its focus on the why behind the pillars. Understanding how emotional intimacy, financial intimacy, and even recreational intimacy are all connected creates a powerful framework for building a strong foundation.
The authors' honesty about their own struggles is another highlight. They don't shy away from the messy realities of marriage, but instead offer hope and encouragement.
Whether your marriage is sailing smoothly or hitting some rough patches, thia book is a valuable resource. It's a wake-up call to invest in your relationship and create the extraordinary marriage you deserve. If you're ready to put in the work, this book is an excellent guide.
February 18, 2023
𝐀𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞.
The book sheds light on marriage. Starting from the first chapter, "What No One Told You About Marriage," and discussing in detail what intimacy is and why each type of intimacy matters, this book has all you need to make your marriage work.
📖 This book thoroughly discusses :
▪️Why do marriages fail.
▪️Ways to identify the initial cracks in marriage.
▪️How you can strengthen your marriage.
▪️How to emotionally connect with your spouse.
▪️Why are other types of intimacy as important as physical ones.
With the help of various hows and whys, the author discusses various problems in a lucid manner. The baby steps at the end are wonderful. What I liked most about this book is the way it breaks down marriage myths and talks freely about everything, from the real meaning of marriage to being financially free.
Overall, I think every couple must read this book. It's really very helpful.
The book sheds light on marriage. Starting from the first chapter, "What No One Told You About Marriage," and discussing in detail what intimacy is and why each type of intimacy matters, this book has all you need to make your marriage work.
📖 This book thoroughly discusses :
▪️Why do marriages fail.
▪️Ways to identify the initial cracks in marriage.
▪️How you can strengthen your marriage.
▪️How to emotionally connect with your spouse.
▪️Why are other types of intimacy as important as physical ones.
With the help of various hows and whys, the author discusses various problems in a lucid manner. The baby steps at the end are wonderful. What I liked most about this book is the way it breaks down marriage myths and talks freely about everything, from the real meaning of marriage to being financially free.
Overall, I think every couple must read this book. It's really very helpful.
March 27, 2024
Good book tainted by religion
I picked this book up because I needed it. My wife and I are struggling, but we want our marriage to work. So I read this book with an open mind. The six pillars are well thought out, and for me, five of the six pillars spoke to me. The Spiritual Intimacy chapter was the exception. It is attacked from a Christian perspective for people who share that perspective to some degree. I share 0% of that perspective and feel that the Christian thing to do is help all people, not a subset of the population. I think the Spiritual Pillar is important, but there are multiple ways to be spiritual, and this book did not bother exploring that, leaving a void in the promised narrative. This put a black mark on the book for me, but I must say that the checklists for each pillar was revealing for me, and I enjoyed the stories of her clients. Recommended for Christian couples whose marriage is in peril.
I picked this book up because I needed it. My wife and I are struggling, but we want our marriage to work. So I read this book with an open mind. The six pillars are well thought out, and for me, five of the six pillars spoke to me. The Spiritual Intimacy chapter was the exception. It is attacked from a Christian perspective for people who share that perspective to some degree. I share 0% of that perspective and feel that the Christian thing to do is help all people, not a subset of the population. I think the Spiritual Pillar is important, but there are multiple ways to be spiritual, and this book did not bother exploring that, leaving a void in the promised narrative. This put a black mark on the book for me, but I must say that the checklists for each pillar was revealing for me, and I enjoyed the stories of her clients. Recommended for Christian couples whose marriage is in peril.
May 13, 2024
unbelievably fantastic resource
For anyone who follows my reviews, you know it is difficult to get a five star rating out of me.
This book not only did that, but I would’ve given it more if it were an option. I’m so impressed by this couples journey and their ability to share the story with the world. This is a fantastically professional addition to the genre. The book is well done, well explained, practical, concise, and very well researched. It is immaculately edited, and very professionally formatted.
You can tell this wasn’t just some random life coach who wanted to put out a book to enhance their brand, this book was done by true professionals who genuinely want to help the world. Absolutely five stars.
For anyone who follows my reviews, you know it is difficult to get a five star rating out of me.
This book not only did that, but I would’ve given it more if it were an option. I’m so impressed by this couples journey and their ability to share the story with the world. This is a fantastically professional addition to the genre. The book is well done, well explained, practical, concise, and very well researched. It is immaculately edited, and very professionally formatted.
You can tell this wasn’t just some random life coach who wanted to put out a book to enhance their brand, this book was done by true professionals who genuinely want to help the world. Absolutely five stars.
April 27, 2025
Read this for a marriage small group during our spring semester. It certainly gave me a fresh perspective on intimacy. Concerning my marriage (which is good); I learned some things about my spouse I didn’t know before and opening up these communication barriers together, I have certainty that we can work together to make it a great marriage as we grow old together. The most important ingredient is the willingness to grow through each season and make each other a priority. We excel at certain pillars individually and as a couple which is to be expected. I believe that We have a bright future ahead.
May 16, 2024
I've had this on my to-read for a while and I recently started listening to the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Podcast, then my husband bought it for me as a surprise gift so it made it's way to the top of the pile.
I didn't feel there was anything new or groundbreaking in it but it will definitely spark some conversations, particularly around financial intimacy. I just didn't feel that each chapter was unpacked enough, I wanted more from each one but I also appreciated that it was kept short and the pages didn't go on and on repeating the same point in 10 different ways.
I didn't feel there was anything new or groundbreaking in it but it will definitely spark some conversations, particularly around financial intimacy. I just didn't feel that each chapter was unpacked enough, I wanted more from each one but I also appreciated that it was kept short and the pages didn't go on and on repeating the same point in 10 different ways.
May 25, 2024
Highly recommended
This book covers essential aspects of intimacy, breaking them down into manageable and relatable concepts. One of my favorite parts is the emphasis on fun within a marriage. The idea that "having fun is one of the healthiest things you can do in a marriage" resonated deeply with me. It's a reminder that joy and playfulness are crucial to nurturing a romantic connection.
Overall, this book is a gem for anyone looking to deepen their bond with their partner. Highly recommended!
This book covers essential aspects of intimacy, breaking them down into manageable and relatable concepts. One of my favorite parts is the emphasis on fun within a marriage. The idea that "having fun is one of the healthiest things you can do in a marriage" resonated deeply with me. It's a reminder that joy and playfulness are crucial to nurturing a romantic connection.
Overall, this book is a gem for anyone looking to deepen their bond with their partner. Highly recommended!
July 28, 2024
Fantastically thorough!
I love that this book comes from a Christian perspective and still talks intimacy and sex. But that intimacy isn’t just sex!
As my adult kids begin to think about, anticipate and navigate “happily ever after” I began asking myself what has made my marriage so successful. That led me to this book.
I was happy to find my marriage aligned with a lot of this content but also found some gems to takeaway and implement in my own marriage.
What a great resource!
Outstanding book. Highly recommend.
I love that this book comes from a Christian perspective and still talks intimacy and sex. But that intimacy isn’t just sex!
As my adult kids begin to think about, anticipate and navigate “happily ever after” I began asking myself what has made my marriage so successful. That led me to this book.
I was happy to find my marriage aligned with a lot of this content but also found some gems to takeaway and implement in my own marriage.
What a great resource!
Outstanding book. Highly recommend.
November 23, 2021
Wow. For anyone wishing their marriage was better, this book is for you!
I was recommended this book and came into it with expectations. However, after seeing the six pillars laid out and reading the first few chapters, I couldn’t put it down! Alisa and Tony do an amazing job of describing each pillar and laying out a framework to understand and strengthen it. Their wisdom is excellent, and the writing style is to the point. Highly recommended!
I was recommended this book and came into it with expectations. However, after seeing the six pillars laid out and reading the first few chapters, I couldn’t put it down! Alisa and Tony do an amazing job of describing each pillar and laying out a framework to understand and strengthen it. Their wisdom is excellent, and the writing style is to the point. Highly recommended!
Read
November 22, 2022Audio, read by the authors.
Not giving a rating because I finished this book to recommend to clients, and I would rate it differently for myself than I would for others. I was recommended this book by a fellow therapist.
If you practice Christianity and are struggling in your romantic partnership, this is probably a good pick for you. The basic premise of different areas of intimacy is sound. However, anyone of different faiths or no faith might be turned off by its presentation.
Not giving a rating because I finished this book to recommend to clients, and I would rate it differently for myself than I would for others. I was recommended this book by a fellow therapist.
If you practice Christianity and are struggling in your romantic partnership, this is probably a good pick for you. The basic premise of different areas of intimacy is sound. However, anyone of different faiths or no faith might be turned off by its presentation.
March 1, 2024
very helpful information
Let me first start by saying I am not married. But I was curious about what the six pillars were and so I read this book anyway. I found it very interesting and will keep this information stored so if the time does come, but I get married I will have some very useful pillars to lean upon. I can only imagine how useful unhelpful this book could be in sight of a marriage relationship. I would recommend recommend this book to all of my marriage friends.
Let me first start by saying I am not married. But I was curious about what the six pillars were and so I read this book anyway. I found it very interesting and will keep this information stored so if the time does come, but I get married I will have some very useful pillars to lean upon. I can only imagine how useful unhelpful this book could be in sight of a marriage relationship. I would recommend recommend this book to all of my marriage friends.
April 14, 2024
amazing
"The 6 Pillars of Intimacy: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage" presents a comprehensive approach to fostering deeper connection and understanding in relationships. Through its exploration of six key pillars, the book offers valuable insights and practical strategies for couples looking to enhance their intimacy and strengthen their bond. Readers can expect to gain valuable tools and perspectives for building a fulfilling and lasting partnership.
"The 6 Pillars of Intimacy: The Secret to an Extraordinary Marriage" presents a comprehensive approach to fostering deeper connection and understanding in relationships. Through its exploration of six key pillars, the book offers valuable insights and practical strategies for couples looking to enhance their intimacy and strengthen their bond. Readers can expect to gain valuable tools and perspectives for building a fulfilling and lasting partnership.
April 19, 2024
a must have for married couples
This book is a valuable resource for creating an extraordinary marriage, pairing well with works like "5 Love Languages" and "Marriage on the Rock." Whether you're newlyweds or long-time partners, its holistic take on intimacy can shift the dynamics of your relationship, offering fresh perspectives and practical advice to foster a deeper, more fulfilling connection.
This book is a valuable resource for creating an extraordinary marriage, pairing well with works like "5 Love Languages" and "Marriage on the Rock." Whether you're newlyweds or long-time partners, its holistic take on intimacy can shift the dynamics of your relationship, offering fresh perspectives and practical advice to foster a deeper, more fulfilling connection.
May 29, 2024
Marriage counselling in a book
This is one of those realistic books, easy to read and a very important subject. Marriage can easily become a roommate setup with nothing joyful or exciting. I have learnt so much and will use the lessons in my marriage.
The 6 pillars are all true and very important for a healthy marriage. It is easy to think the sexual intimacy is the most important whereas it can easily be affected by the other pillars.
Well done to the author and spouse.
This is one of those realistic books, easy to read and a very important subject. Marriage can easily become a roommate setup with nothing joyful or exciting. I have learnt so much and will use the lessons in my marriage.
The 6 pillars are all true and very important for a healthy marriage. It is easy to think the sexual intimacy is the most important whereas it can easily be affected by the other pillars.
Well done to the author and spouse.
October 19, 2022
A well written easy to apply marriage book
Tons of information that you need to think about for your marriage. In just three days of implementing some of these strategies, our marriage is even better. So excited to see where this takes us. We have a good marriage, but now it can be extraordinary!
Tons of information that you need to think about for your marriage. In just three days of implementing some of these strategies, our marriage is even better. So excited to see where this takes us. We have a good marriage, but now it can be extraordinary!
February 16, 2023
Good conversation starter and helpful to dialogue. I appreciated the ending about how if you think about the 6 pillars, what is strong now can become a weak spot in other stretches of life so the awareness and willingness to put in work and mending in different areas was really helpful as a go forward
February 17, 2024
I really like their podcast, this summarized a lot of what they talk about there in one place. It was a quick read. Good tips and a great summary of ways to prioritize different parts of your relationship. I really like the pillar analogy. It is easy for me to relate to. Good starting point for anyone working to make their marriage stronger.
June 7, 2024
An Honest And Practical Guide
Marriage counselling from a couple who have taken the pains to research the experiences of many other couples. This covers all the main issues marriages encounter, from finance to intimacy, and it provides helpful suggestions on how to take small steps to start improving things.
Marriage counselling from a couple who have taken the pains to research the experiences of many other couples. This covers all the main issues marriages encounter, from finance to intimacy, and it provides helpful suggestions on how to take small steps to start improving things.
July 14, 2024
Excellent resource for getting your marriage back on track
This book is very well written and offers step-by-step instructions, along with stories and examples of how to better understand the six pillars of intimacy. I liked the easy to follow steps for each chapter and the personal stories from the authors during each of the chapters.
This book is very well written and offers step-by-step instructions, along with stories and examples of how to better understand the six pillars of intimacy. I liked the easy to follow steps for each chapter and the personal stories from the authors during each of the chapters.
August 24, 2024
wonderful book full of insight
I really learned a lot while reading this book. My marriage is not as strong as I want it to be, so i grabbed this book in the hopes of beginning to build something new with my spouse. I feel like it gave me a good set of tools to work on my marriage and understand what actually needed work. It’s nice to read that it’s common (almost normal) to have the issues we are having, I’m thankful this book offers a framework for couples to strengthen their marriage and build something extraordinary.
I really learned a lot while reading this book. My marriage is not as strong as I want it to be, so i grabbed this book in the hopes of beginning to build something new with my spouse. I feel like it gave me a good set of tools to work on my marriage and understand what actually needed work. It’s nice to read that it’s common (almost normal) to have the issues we are having, I’m thankful this book offers a framework for couples to strengthen their marriage and build something extraordinary.
August 21, 2022
I love the book. I loved how it shows how there's more to a relationship than being physical and how to exactly tackle certain challenge in a marriage. Would recommend to anyone married or wanting to get married
June 22, 2023
what I didn’t know
I have been praying for God to increase our intimacy thinking there was only one type…turns out HE was already answering my prayers by strengthening the other types first!!
I have been praying for God to increase our intimacy thinking there was only one type…turns out HE was already answering my prayers by strengthening the other types first!!
February 6, 2024
A must read!
I highly recommend this book to married couples at any stage of life. Even if your marriage is rock solid, you can learn something new to spice things up or grow closer to your spouse. Very well done!
I highly recommend this book to married couples at any stage of life. Even if your marriage is rock solid, you can learn something new to spice things up or grow closer to your spouse. Very well done!
March 12, 2024
Great relationship book
I really liked this book. It was written with a personal touch, which really worked for me. This book is great for couples that want to save and make their relationship better than ever. The issues resonated for me. I definitely recommend it.
I really liked this book. It was written with a personal touch, which really worked for me. This book is great for couples that want to save and make their relationship better than ever. The issues resonated for me. I definitely recommend it.
March 24, 2024
Good information
The book has really good information but quite basic, the concept of pillars is good but I think some of them, like the intimacy pillar, should have a neutral approach instead of a religious one.
The book has really good information but quite basic, the concept of pillars is good but I think some of them, like the intimacy pillar, should have a neutral approach instead of a religious one.
March 29, 2024
One of the healthiest things you can do
Excellent book. I really appreciated the honest and straightforward talking. No fluff here but really sound advice. My favourite part was ‘having fun is one of the healthiest things you can do in a marriage’.
Excellent book. I really appreciated the honest and straightforward talking. No fluff here but really sound advice. My favourite part was ‘having fun is one of the healthiest things you can do in a marriage’.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews