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ทฤษฎีของความอ่อนไหว
คุณรู้สึกกับทุกสิ่งทุกอย่างแบบลึกซึ้งจนโกรธตัวเองหรือเปล่า ความรู้สึกที่ท่วมท้นเมื่อเจอคนเยอะๆ แสงไฟจ้าๆ หรือเสียงที่ดังเกินไป ความเจ็บปวดจากคำพูดหรือการกระทำเพียงเล็กน้อยของคนอื่น ก็สามารถติดค้างอยู่ในใจคุณได้นานแสนนาน
หากคำตอบคือใช่ คุณไม่ได้คิดไปเอง เพราะที่จริงแล้วคุณอาจเป็นบุคคลกลุ่มเอชเอสพี Highly Sensitive People หรือ HSP คือคนที่มีความรู้สึกไวและ/หรืออ่อนไหวมากเป็นพิเศษ ถือเป็นคนอีกหนึ่งประเภท ไม่ใช่แค่คนอ่อนแออย่างที่คนอื่นคิด
นี่คือเรื่องราวของคนอ่อนไหวง่ายเป็นพิเศษประเภทต่างๆ ที่มาที่ไป ลักษณะอาการ การทำความเข้าใจตัวเอง และการใช้มันให้เป็นประโยชน์ หนังสือเล่มนี้อาจทำให้คุณเห็นรากเหง้าของปัญหาต่างๆ ในชีวิต และอาจทำให้คุณเข้าใจความสัมพันธ์ที่สูญเสียไป เพราะการแก้ไขความรู้สึกเจ็บปวดในชีวิตนั้น ต้องเริ่มจากความเข้าใจก่อนเสมอ
อาจมีคนที่ไม่มีวันเข้าใจสิ่งที่คุณเป็น แต่อย่างน้อย ถ้าคุณเข้าใจตัวเอง คุณก็จะเติบโตอย่างงดงามและมีความสุขได้ไม่แพ้คนอื่นเลย
หากคำตอบคือใช่ คุณไม่ได้คิดไปเอง เพราะที่จริงแล้วคุณอาจเป็นบุคคลกลุ่มเอชเอสพี Highly Sensitive People หรือ HSP คือคนที่มีความรู้สึกไวและ/หรืออ่อนไหวมากเป็นพิเศษ ถือเป็นคนอีกหนึ่งประเภท ไม่ใช่แค่คนอ่อนแออย่างที่คนอื่นคิด
นี่คือเรื่องราวของคนอ่อนไหวง่ายเป็นพิเศษประเภทต่างๆ ที่มาที่ไป ลักษณะอาการ การทำความเข้าใจตัวเอง และการใช้มันให้เป็นประโยชน์ หนังสือเล่มนี้อาจทำให้คุณเห็นรากเหง้าของปัญหาต่างๆ ในชีวิต และอาจทำให้คุณเข้าใจความสัมพันธ์ที่สูญเสียไป เพราะการแก้ไขความรู้สึกเจ็บปวดในชีวิตนั้น ต้องเริ่มจากความเข้าใจก่อนเสมอ
อาจมีคนที่ไม่มีวันเข้าใจสิ่งที่คุณเป็น แต่อย่างน้อย ถ้าคุณเข้าใจตัวเอง คุณก็จะเติบโตอย่างงดงามและมีความสุขได้ไม่แพ้คนอื่นเลย
237 pages, Paperback
Published September 1, 2021
192 people are currently reading
1012 people want to read
About the author
Mel Collins
7 books8 followersMEL COLLINS is a bestselling author, qualified psychotherapeutic counsellor, spiritual life coach, healer, regression therapist – and highly sensitive person (HSP). She has run her own therapeutic and complementary healing practice for 18 years, specializing in working with HSPs and empaths.
Prior to that she worked in Her Majesty's Prison Service for ten years, eight of those as a prison governor managing the Drug & Alcohol Services and Strategy. She is now a full-time author and spiritual teacher.
Prior to that she worked in Her Majesty's Prison Service for ten years, eight of those as a prison governor managing the Drug & Alcohol Services and Strategy. She is now a full-time author and spiritual teacher.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 131 reviews
July 26, 2020
This was a great starting point for me. Some parts resonated with me and others I felt no inclination towards but appreciated it all the same.
My annoying, too sensing and sensitive self is learning to accept these parts of myself and finding a better, healthier balance overall.
My annoying, too sensing and sensitive self is learning to accept these parts of myself and finding a better, healthier balance overall.
November 27, 2018
I always knew that I was sensitive and in tune to other people’s emotions. Reading this book was an AH-HA moment for me, as I could finally put a name to this character trait that runs my life. I am proud to say that I am a highly sensitive person (HSP) and this book has helped me see it as a gift, not a flaw. The first section of the book defines HSP, gives character traits, and explains the challenges we face. The second section details the impact that being an HSP can have in a persons life and in their relationships with others. The third section goes into strategies to help an HSP thrive in their life instead of merely surviving it. The fourth section is new age spiritual practices- not for me and the author disclosed at the beginning of the book that the reader is welcome to skip that portion if they aren’t into it. The author is a fellow HSP and works in a prison, giving the reader tried-and-true effective strategies for surviving the noise, chaos, and negativity that can have such a big impact on HSPs. While I work in a middle school, not a prison, these are hazards of the job and I’ve been struggling this year and feeling overwhelmed and frazzled. Over the last week I’ve been putting these strategies into play and have seen a marked improvement in my ability to function in a positive way and come home to my family without feeling the need to retreat or being overwhelmed and cranky by noise. If you, or someone you know, is an HSP then I highly recommend this book! For me, The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People was ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 stars. Thank you @watkinswisdom for this advance reader in exchange for my honest review.
December 7, 2020
4 Stars
Inspired by Dr Elaine Aron’s bestseller The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, Mel Collins handbook for HSP’s is definitely an interesting and helpful read for those, like myself, who strongly self-relate to the HSP personality trait.
I’ll admit I’ve talked this topic to death in the past few months—at least in my everyday life—having many light-bulb moments of personal clarity and understanding, that have, quite frankly, changed the way I see myself and others, and the way I relate to the world.
For those not in the know, the term HSP (or Highly Sensitive Person) is a scientifically recognised personality trait, first coined by Dr Elaine Aron in her research in the nineties. Essentially, HSP’s are individuals who have a more sensitive nervous system, and as such, a deeper reaction to physical, emotional or social stimuli. For a bit more on this, without me having to prattle on here, I suggest checking out this page for a list of some of the HSP attributes and even a self-test for those interested.
As Mel Collins explains in this handbook, being a HSP means many different things for different people, and manifests itself in many different ways. As a HSP herself, Collins shares her person story and provides insights into strategies and tools she (and other HSP’s she’s worked with over the years) have implemented successfully in their lives to, as I like to think of it, manage the overwhelm.
For me personally, this handbook was thought-provoking in how it made me examine the root of my lifetime of anxiety—I was diagnosed with GAD at a young age—and how having a trait such as HSP has played a crucial role in my long-term health problems with fibromyalgia (a chronic pain disorder). Seeing as how I believe that which impacts the mind impacts the body, I have no doubt aspects of my core personality—specifically those that fall under the HSP umbrella—have played a major role in the onset of my chronic pain.
Although some of the chapters and themes covered herein were a bit incongruous with my own personal beliefs—namely, chapters on spirituality, angels and past-life regressions—I still found a lot of the information Collins’ has shared here to be beneficial to my growing knowledge of the HSP trait, and handy in terms of supplying new strategies to try to balance my own health and wellness.
This is definitely a recommended read for likeminded souls.
Inspired by Dr Elaine Aron’s bestseller The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, Mel Collins handbook for HSP’s is definitely an interesting and helpful read for those, like myself, who strongly self-relate to the HSP personality trait.
I’ll admit I’ve talked this topic to death in the past few months—at least in my everyday life—having many light-bulb moments of personal clarity and understanding, that have, quite frankly, changed the way I see myself and others, and the way I relate to the world.
For those not in the know, the term HSP (or Highly Sensitive Person) is a scientifically recognised personality trait, first coined by Dr Elaine Aron in her research in the nineties. Essentially, HSP’s are individuals who have a more sensitive nervous system, and as such, a deeper reaction to physical, emotional or social stimuli. For a bit more on this, without me having to prattle on here, I suggest checking out this page for a list of some of the HSP attributes and even a self-test for those interested.
As Mel Collins explains in this handbook, being a HSP means many different things for different people, and manifests itself in many different ways. As a HSP herself, Collins shares her person story and provides insights into strategies and tools she (and other HSP’s she’s worked with over the years) have implemented successfully in their lives to, as I like to think of it, manage the overwhelm.
For me personally, this handbook was thought-provoking in how it made me examine the root of my lifetime of anxiety—I was diagnosed with GAD at a young age—and how having a trait such as HSP has played a crucial role in my long-term health problems with fibromyalgia (a chronic pain disorder). Seeing as how I believe that which impacts the mind impacts the body, I have no doubt aspects of my core personality—specifically those that fall under the HSP umbrella—have played a major role in the onset of my chronic pain.
Although some of the chapters and themes covered herein were a bit incongruous with my own personal beliefs—namely, chapters on spirituality, angels and past-life regressions—I still found a lot of the information Collins’ has shared here to be beneficial to my growing knowledge of the HSP trait, and handy in terms of supplying new strategies to try to balance my own health and wellness.
This is definitely a recommended read for likeminded souls.
February 9, 2019
Many thanks to NetGalley, Watkins Publishing and Mel Collins for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are 100% my own and independent of receiving an advance copy.
What is a highly sensitive person? Well, Mel Collins claims that almost 20% of the population are HSPs. They include people who process emotions more deeply than others, often being told they are too sensitive, or shouldn’t take things too personally. They are more reaction to the positive and negative emotions of others and can have a heightened response to environmental stimuli. Collins is a UK psychotherapeutic counsellor, spiritual healer and reiki master. She makes It clear that she doesn’t come from a scientific background and has gathered this data by working with people (including the prison system) over the past 15 years.
When I first started reading about what an HSP was, I started to relate to a number of things. I have been told my whole life that I am too sensitive, that I should toughen up, have high levels of empathy and have a feeling of not belonging, including in my own family. I don’t have all the qualifiers, like the environmental issues, but enough that I certainly fell into this category. As I continued to read on about how this manifests in your life, how it shapes your personality, etc. I really began to get excited and thought “Wow! This sort of explains my whole life”. It certainly spoke to a lot of my childhood, career choices and decisions that I have made along the way. It was viewed as a negative and I really felt like it was just me. There was something wrong with me, that I heard things differently than other people and took things too personally and got too defensive. That other, “normal”, people didn’t behave like this. So, naturally, you start to feel some validation when you realize there is a whole group of people who are like that and that it can be viewed as a strength and not a weakness.
Collins does an excellent job at identifying and explaining what an HSP is and what the challenges you might have faced during your life. She walks you through an extensive number of self-help strategies to help reshape your thinking into finding the positive. There is a third section on spirituality that goes more into the “woo-woo” aspects of crystal healing, spiritual guides (angels), earthbound should (ghosts) and other such stuff that she says in the beginning, if that’s not your cup of tea, skip it.
What I found, as I started to go through the self-help solutions, was that I had heard all of this before. Collins talks about self-love and softening your inner critic. Forgiveness and not comparing yourself to others is something that can help everyone. Setting boundaries and using things like meditation and positive affirmations to help keep doubt and worry at bay. She also talks about tapping as another strategy to help you in real life situations where you need to get control over how you are feeling. I began to wonder, if these were the solutions, then what is so special about being an HSP. Everyone uses these solutions if you are trying to live a more peaceful life. Be in nature, be in the moment, don’t focus on the past, are all messages I have heard from many other experts.
These self help strategies, echoes of what others have said, are sound and it is nice to have them in a step by step format, in one place. You can easily skip those sections that you don’t personally have an issue with so I found the book easy to use. To me, however, it just undermined the whole notion of being a highly sensitive person. Worthwhile read, just not sure I buy into the premise.
What is a highly sensitive person? Well, Mel Collins claims that almost 20% of the population are HSPs. They include people who process emotions more deeply than others, often being told they are too sensitive, or shouldn’t take things too personally. They are more reaction to the positive and negative emotions of others and can have a heightened response to environmental stimuli. Collins is a UK psychotherapeutic counsellor, spiritual healer and reiki master. She makes It clear that she doesn’t come from a scientific background and has gathered this data by working with people (including the prison system) over the past 15 years.
When I first started reading about what an HSP was, I started to relate to a number of things. I have been told my whole life that I am too sensitive, that I should toughen up, have high levels of empathy and have a feeling of not belonging, including in my own family. I don’t have all the qualifiers, like the environmental issues, but enough that I certainly fell into this category. As I continued to read on about how this manifests in your life, how it shapes your personality, etc. I really began to get excited and thought “Wow! This sort of explains my whole life”. It certainly spoke to a lot of my childhood, career choices and decisions that I have made along the way. It was viewed as a negative and I really felt like it was just me. There was something wrong with me, that I heard things differently than other people and took things too personally and got too defensive. That other, “normal”, people didn’t behave like this. So, naturally, you start to feel some validation when you realize there is a whole group of people who are like that and that it can be viewed as a strength and not a weakness.
Collins does an excellent job at identifying and explaining what an HSP is and what the challenges you might have faced during your life. She walks you through an extensive number of self-help strategies to help reshape your thinking into finding the positive. There is a third section on spirituality that goes more into the “woo-woo” aspects of crystal healing, spiritual guides (angels), earthbound should (ghosts) and other such stuff that she says in the beginning, if that’s not your cup of tea, skip it.
What I found, as I started to go through the self-help solutions, was that I had heard all of this before. Collins talks about self-love and softening your inner critic. Forgiveness and not comparing yourself to others is something that can help everyone. Setting boundaries and using things like meditation and positive affirmations to help keep doubt and worry at bay. She also talks about tapping as another strategy to help you in real life situations where you need to get control over how you are feeling. I began to wonder, if these were the solutions, then what is so special about being an HSP. Everyone uses these solutions if you are trying to live a more peaceful life. Be in nature, be in the moment, don’t focus on the past, are all messages I have heard from many other experts.
These self help strategies, echoes of what others have said, are sound and it is nice to have them in a step by step format, in one place. You can easily skip those sections that you don’t personally have an issue with so I found the book easy to use. To me, however, it just undermined the whole notion of being a highly sensitive person. Worthwhile read, just not sure I buy into the premise.
March 10, 2021
I borrowed this book initially hoping it would be more like this, the famous Dr Aron: The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You.
It was not to be, but that is ok. It did discuss traits and aspects of being a highly sensitive person (HSP), with good suggestions and breakdowns on how to deal with the plethora of issues that we HSP's face.
On to the part that did not at all suit me was the discussion of angels and spiritual aspects. I didn't relate to this at all and found I didn't listen properly here. The author described her personal experience honestly and wrote very well, but those parts weren't for me.
I own the aforementioned book and really do need to read it soon, she is definitely the guru I'd like to get to asap.
This book would be suitable to those who'd like to skim and read the parts that pertain to them, but most of those parts didn't, to me.
It was not to be, but that is ok. It did discuss traits and aspects of being a highly sensitive person (HSP), with good suggestions and breakdowns on how to deal with the plethora of issues that we HSP's face.
On to the part that did not at all suit me was the discussion of angels and spiritual aspects. I didn't relate to this at all and found I didn't listen properly here. The author described her personal experience honestly and wrote very well, but those parts weren't for me.
I own the aforementioned book and really do need to read it soon, she is definitely the guru I'd like to get to asap.
This book would be suitable to those who'd like to skim and read the parts that pertain to them, but most of those parts didn't, to me.
December 28, 2024
"إن فرط الحساسية نعمة وليس نقمة"
تُبين البحوث أن فرط الحساسية سمة شخصية فطرية وليست علة أو اضطراب. وأوضحت نتائج تلك الدراسات أن الأفراد مفرطي الحساسية يتمتعون بنشاط أقوى في مناطق المخ المسؤولة عن الوعي والتعاطف وفهم الذات والآخر مقارنة بمن يفتقدون تلك السمة.
(حس التعاطف الزائد عندنا يجعلنا نحس بمشاعر وانفعالات الآخرين كما لو كانت مشاعرنا وانفعالاتنا نحن، وغالباً ما نستغرق وقتاً طويلاً في هضم المواقف والأحداث العصيبة، والتمييز بين مشاكلنا ومشاعرنا الخاصة وبين تلك التي تخص الآخرين)
♡ الإيجابيات التى يتمتع بها مفرطو الحساسية:
▪︎حدة الذهن.
▪︎امتلاك مهارات جيدة في حل المشكلات.
▪︎التمتع بمستويات عالية من الحدس.
▪︎التعاطف والاشفاق على الآخرين.
▪︎العطف والرحمة النابعان من مشاعر الود.
▪︎قدرات رائعة على الاستماع.
▪︎أصحاب ضمير حي ويقظ في طبيعتهم.
▪︎شدة الولاء والأمانة.
▪︎الإهتمام بدقائق الأمور التي لا ينتبه لها الآخرون.
♡ التحديات الأساسية التي تعتري مفرطي الحساسية هي:
١) سرعة التأثر والتعاطف..
"فالنشاط المخي الخاص بإبداء التعاطف يكون أقوى لدى مفرطي الحساسية مقارنة بغيرهم"
٢) الحساسية الانفعالية العميقة..
"يمر أي فرد مفرط الحساسية بمشاعر أقوى وأعمق ولمدة أطول غالباً من الفرد الذي لا يتمتع بتلك السمة"
٣) الشعور بعدم الانتماء والوحدة والعزلة.
"يشعرون غالباً بعدم الانتماء في أسرهم، حيث يختلفون عن أفرادها في نمط التفكير والتصرف ونظرتهم للعالم"
٤) مشكلات خاصة باحترام الذات وتقديرها..
فيعانون من ضعف في احترام الذات وتقديرها أو افتقاد الثقة في النفس أو عدم حب الذات أو الشعور بعدم الرضا عن النفس
٥) المعاناة في العلاقات..
حيث يجدون صعوبة في بناء علاقات متوازنة، وغالباً ما يجدون أنفسهم في علاقات اعتمادية.
٦) يعانون من مجموعة من المشكلات الصحية مثل: الإرهاق المزمن، الألم العضلي، الأرق، اضطرابات الجهاز الهضمي، وصعوبة في إدارة التوتر والقلق.
(يفتقر العديد من الأفراد مفرطي الحساسية إلى تقدير الذات واحترامها، ويرجع ذلك غالباً إلى شعورهم بالنقص أو الاختلاف، فضلاً عن الانتقادات والأحكام التي توجه سهامها إلى كثير منهم لا سيما إذا تعرضوا للتنمر أو سوء المعاملة بسبب حساسيتهم المفرطة خلال طفولتهم. ومن هنا يمكننا أن نفهم لماذا يجد كثير من الأفراد مفرطي الحساسية صعوبة في حب أنفسهم)
♡ كيف تدعم حب الذات؟
١) توقف عن مقارنة نفسك بالآخرين.
٢) توقف عن النقد الذاتي.
٣) تطوير التعاطف الذاتي.
"يُبدي كثير من مفرطي الحساسية قدراً هائلاً من التعاطف تجاه الآخرين رغم عجزهم عن القيام بالمثل تجاه أنفسهم"
فإلقاء اللوم على نفسك، وكَيل الاتهامات لها ونقدها، أمور تُفضي في نهاية المطاف إلى نخر ذاتك وكراهية نفسك، فلا مناص أمام مفرطي الحساسية للقضاء على هذا الوضع من ابداء التعاطف والحب والتفهم والحنان تجاه أنفسهم.
٤) سامح الآخرين ليس من أجلهم بل من أجلك، لتحرر نفسك من أسر المشاعر السلبية.
٥) تعلم الرفض دون الشعور بالذنب
٦) التعبير عن مشاعرك الحقيقية بصدق ووضوح، دون خوف من الحكم.
٧) عيّن حدوداً لحماية نفسك من الاستغلال
٨) تخلص من إدمانك مهما كان نوعه، فهو يعيق تقدمك نحو حب الذات.
٩) ارعَ نفسك واعتني بجميع احتياجاتك الجسدية والعاطفية والعقلية والروحية.
١٠) ابحث عن التوازن والانسجام في جميع جوانب حياتك.
١١) كرر العبارات التأكيدية الإيجابية يومياً لتعزيز ثقتك بنفسك..
"فعندما يلقي المرء هذه التأكيدات الإيجابية على نفسه، قد يشعر في البداية بأنه يخدع نفسه، إلا أن هذا هو صوت "الأنا" الذي يريد إفساد جهوده الرامية إلى التغيير. فإذا ما واصل إلقاء عبارات إيجابية مراراً وتكراراً، سيصل إلى لحظة يشعر فيها بأنه على طبيعته"
(نتأثر كذلك بأي مثير بيئي وشعوري، ونفتقد إلى قوة التحمل في المواقف شديدة الوطأة على مشاعرنا، فإذا واجهنا كثيراً من تلك المواقف، تنتاب جهازنا العصبي الشعوري حالة من فرط الانفعال تؤدي إلى الشعور بالضغط الشديد)
يتمتع مفرطي الحساسية بمستويات إثارة أعلى ونظام عصبي أكثر حساسية مقارنة بغيرهم، لذا تجدهم يتعاملون مع المحفزات الحسية والعاطفية بشكل أكثر حدة، مما يجعلهم عرضة للشعور بالتوتر والضغط العصبي بسهولة أكبر من غيرهم.
♡ النصائح التي ذكرتها المؤلفة للتعامل مع الضغط العصبي:
▪︎الابتعاد عن المحفزات الحسية المفرطة من خلال تجنب الزحام والضوضاء وإيجاد مكان هادئ ومريح.
▪︎استخدام تقنيات التنفس العميق والاسترخاء مثل اليوغا والتأمل.
▪︎إعادة شحن الطاقة بالعزلة.
"من الضروري أن يأخذ الأفراد مفرطو الحساسية وقتاً للعزلة لإعادة شحن طاقاتهم، خاصة بعد التعرض لمحفزات عالية أو مواقف اجتماعية مرهقة".
▪︎تجنب الانخراط في أنشطة اجتماعية مفرطة.
▪︎التركيز على الأنشطة التي تمنح الاسترخاء والراحة مثل: المشي في الطبيعة، القراءة، الاستماع للموسيقى الهادئة، الرسم، والكتابة.
▪︎وضع حدود للأعباء اليومية وعدم تحميل أنفسهم أكثر مما يمكنهم تحمله.
وفي النهاية......
"لا يُدرك معظم مفرطي الحساسية أن جرعاتهم المتواصلة من العطف والرحمة والتعاطف والحب والابداع قد أشبعت غيرهم من الناس، واتاحت لهم النمو والازدهار.
وبناء على ذلك يستلزم علينا أن نضع تصوراً جديداً للحساسية، والنظر إلى تشققاتنا باعتبارها مواطن قوة، وأن نُدرك أن هذه التشققات قادرة على اتحاف هذا العالم بشيء جميل"
تُبين البحوث أن فرط الحساسية سمة شخصية فطرية وليست علة أو اضطراب. وأوضحت نتائج تلك الدراسات أن الأفراد مفرطي الحساسية يتمتعون بنشاط أقوى في مناطق المخ المسؤولة عن الوعي والتعاطف وفهم الذات والآخر مقارنة بمن يفتقدون تلك السمة.
(حس التعاطف الزائد عندنا يجعلنا نحس بمشاعر وانفعالات الآخرين كما لو كانت مشاعرنا وانفعالاتنا نحن، وغالباً ما نستغرق وقتاً طويلاً في هضم المواقف والأحداث العصيبة، والتمييز بين مشاكلنا ومشاعرنا الخاصة وبين تلك التي تخص الآخرين)
♡ الإيجابيات التى يتمتع بها مفرطو الحساسية:
▪︎حدة الذهن.
▪︎امتلاك مهارات جيدة في حل المشكلات.
▪︎التمتع بمستويات عالية من الحدس.
▪︎التعاطف والاشفاق على الآخرين.
▪︎العطف والرحمة النابعان من مشاعر الود.
▪︎قدرات رائعة على الاستماع.
▪︎أصحاب ضمير حي ويقظ في طبيعتهم.
▪︎شدة الولاء والأمانة.
▪︎الإهتمام بدقائق الأمور التي لا ينتبه لها الآخرون.
♡ التحديات الأساسية التي تعتري مفرطي الحساسية هي:
١) سرعة التأثر والتعاطف..
"فالنشاط المخي الخاص بإبداء التعاطف يكون أقوى لدى مفرطي الحساسية مقارنة بغيرهم"
٢) الحساسية الانفعالية العميقة..
"يمر أي فرد مفرط الحساسية بمشاعر أقوى وأعمق ولمدة أطول غالباً من الفرد الذي لا يتمتع بتلك السمة"
٣) الشعور بعدم الانتماء والوحدة والعزلة.
"يشعرون غالباً بعدم الانتماء في أسرهم، حيث يختلفون عن أفرادها في نمط التفكير والتصرف ونظرتهم للعالم"
٤) مشكلات خاصة باحترام الذات وتقديرها..
فيعانون من ضعف في احترام الذات وتقديرها أو افتقاد الثقة في النفس أو عدم حب الذات أو الشعور بعدم الرضا عن النفس
٥) المعاناة في العلاقات..
حيث يجدون صعوبة في بناء علاقات متوازنة، وغالباً ما يجدون أنفسهم في علاقات اعتمادية.
٦) يعانون من مجموعة من المشكلات الصحية مثل: الإرهاق المزمن، الألم العضلي، الأرق، اضطرابات الجهاز الهضمي، وصعوبة في إدارة التوتر والقلق.
(يفتقر العديد من الأفراد مفرطي الحساسية إلى تقدير الذات واحترامها، ويرجع ذلك غالباً إلى شعورهم بالنقص أو الاختلاف، فضلاً عن الانتقادات والأحكام التي توجه سهامها إلى كثير منهم لا سيما إذا تعرضوا للتنمر أو سوء المعاملة بسبب حساسيتهم المفرطة خلال طفولتهم. ومن هنا يمكننا أن نفهم لماذا يجد كثير من الأفراد مفرطي الحساسية صعوبة في حب أنفسهم)
♡ كيف تدعم حب الذات؟
١) توقف عن مقارنة نفسك بالآخرين.
٢) توقف عن النقد الذاتي.
٣) تطوير التعاطف الذاتي.
"يُبدي كثير من مفرطي الحساسية قدراً هائلاً من التعاطف تجاه الآخرين رغم عجزهم عن القيام بالمثل تجاه أنفسهم"
فإلقاء اللوم على نفسك، وكَيل الاتهامات لها ونقدها، أمور تُفضي في نهاية المطاف إلى نخر ذاتك وكراهية نفسك، فلا مناص أمام مفرطي الحساسية للقضاء على هذا الوضع من ابداء التعاطف والحب والتفهم والحنان تجاه أنفسهم.
٤) سامح الآخرين ليس من أجلهم بل من أجلك، لتحرر نفسك من أسر المشاعر السلبية.
٥) تعلم الرفض دون الشعور بالذنب
٦) التعبير عن مشاعرك الحقيقية بصدق ووضوح، دون خوف من الحكم.
٧) عيّن حدوداً لحماية نفسك من الاستغلال
٨) تخلص من إدمانك مهما كان نوعه، فهو يعيق تقدمك نحو حب الذات.
٩) ارعَ نفسك واعتني بجميع احتياجاتك الجسدية والعاطفية والعقلية والروحية.
١٠) ابحث عن التوازن والانسجام في جميع جوانب حياتك.
١١) كرر العبارات التأكيدية الإيجابية يومياً لتعزيز ثقتك بنفسك..
"فعندما يلقي المرء هذه التأكيدات الإيجابية على نفسه، قد يشعر في البداية بأنه يخدع نفسه، إلا أن هذا هو صوت "الأنا" الذي يريد إفساد جهوده الرامية إلى التغيير. فإذا ما واصل إلقاء عبارات إيجابية مراراً وتكراراً، سيصل إلى لحظة يشعر فيها بأنه على طبيعته"
(نتأثر كذلك بأي مثير بيئي وشعوري، ونفتقد إلى قوة التحمل في المواقف شديدة الوطأة على مشاعرنا، فإذا واجهنا كثيراً من تلك المواقف، تنتاب جهازنا العصبي الشعوري حالة من فرط الانفعال تؤدي إلى الشعور بالضغط الشديد)
يتمتع مفرطي الحساسية بمستويات إثارة أعلى ونظام عصبي أكثر حساسية مقارنة بغيرهم، لذا تجدهم يتعاملون مع المحفزات الحسية والعاطفية بشكل أكثر حدة، مما يجعلهم عرضة للشعور بالتوتر والضغط العصبي بسهولة أكبر من غيرهم.
♡ النصائح التي ذكرتها المؤلفة للتعامل مع الضغط العصبي:
▪︎الابتعاد عن المحفزات الحسية المفرطة من خلال تجنب الزحام والضوضاء وإيجاد مكان هادئ ومريح.
▪︎استخدام تقنيات التنفس العميق والاسترخاء مثل اليوغا والتأمل.
▪︎إعادة شحن الطاقة بالعزلة.
"من الضروري أن يأخذ الأفراد مفرطو الحساسية وقتاً للعزلة لإعادة شحن طاقاتهم، خاصة بعد التعرض لمحفزات عالية أو مواقف اجتماعية مرهقة".
▪︎تجنب الانخراط في أنشطة اجتماعية مفرطة.
▪︎التركيز على الأنشطة التي تمنح الاسترخاء والراحة مثل: المشي في الطبيعة، القراءة، الاستماع للموسيقى الهادئة، الرسم، والكتابة.
▪︎وضع حدود للأعباء اليومية وعدم تحميل أنفسهم أكثر مما يمكنهم تحمله.
وفي النهاية......
"لا يُدرك معظم مفرطي الحساسية أن جرعاتهم المتواصلة من العطف والرحمة والتعاطف والحب والابداع قد أشبعت غيرهم من الناس، واتاحت لهم النمو والازدهار.
وبناء على ذلك يستلزم علينا أن نضع تصوراً جديداً للحساسية، والنظر إلى تشققاتنا باعتبارها مواطن قوة، وأن نُدرك أن هذه التشققات قادرة على اتحاف هذا العالم بشيء جميل"
September 11, 2021
Mel got in touch with me on Twitter after I’d been tweeting about being stressed & feeling anxious. She offered to send me a copy of her book & prior to this I’d genuinely never been aware that high sensitivity is a recognised trait, not just that I’m “overly emotional”.
I recognised myself in lots of its pages & even went through it with a highlighter! I’m going through a really difficult time right now & I genuinely cried whilst reading, it made me feel less alone.
I didn’t find the spiritual chapters were useful to me, and Mel explains at the beginning of the book that this is ok. A spiritual focus is not for everyone. However, I have accepted the part of me that needs space - that it’s ok for me to have time to myself to deal with my emotions & process what I’m going through. The sea is my true healer but I don’t live close enough to it, so nature becomes my second choice for healing. I’ve also followed some of the “tapping” techniques & find the hand one especially helps me to release some emotions (& I’ll admit I was sceptical, I really didn’t think it would work!).
Overall, I found this book extremely useful, if only in recognising that it’s ok to be the sensitive person that I am. I went through thinking “I only thought it was me who felt like that, I thought I was weird”! Clearly, I’m not! I highly recommend it for HSPs - even reading the book will help you release some emotions!
I recognised myself in lots of its pages & even went through it with a highlighter! I’m going through a really difficult time right now & I genuinely cried whilst reading, it made me feel less alone.
I didn’t find the spiritual chapters were useful to me, and Mel explains at the beginning of the book that this is ok. A spiritual focus is not for everyone. However, I have accepted the part of me that needs space - that it’s ok for me to have time to myself to deal with my emotions & process what I’m going through. The sea is my true healer but I don’t live close enough to it, so nature becomes my second choice for healing. I’ve also followed some of the “tapping” techniques & find the hand one especially helps me to release some emotions (& I’ll admit I was sceptical, I really didn’t think it would work!).
Overall, I found this book extremely useful, if only in recognising that it’s ok to be the sensitive person that I am. I went through thinking “I only thought it was me who felt like that, I thought I was weird”! Clearly, I’m not! I highly recommend it for HSPs - even reading the book will help you release some emotions!
May 30, 2019
I have read several books about HSP and the advice in this one matches up in some ways with my previous readings. The difference is that this one links HSP with some questionable spiritual beliefs--not so sure this is very practical for those looking to deal with this condition on a day to day basis. Being told that you may have a low level spirit attached to you that is draining your energy is probably not the best for people who deal with an a sensitive nervous system every day.
Full Disclosure--NetGalley and the publisher provided me with a digital ARC of this book. This is my honest review.
Full Disclosure--NetGalley and the publisher provided me with a digital ARC of this book. This is my honest review.
May 13, 2022
This is an interesting book in that the thing that bothers me most is that "Handbook" is in the title.
This is not a handbook which would have activities and structures set to diagnose, evaluate, and grow. This is an unending list of potential reasons you might be an HSP. To be honest it feels like the goal is for ANYONE reading the book to believe they are a highly sensitive person.
I love learning more about myself, about why I am the way I am, why I feel things so deeply and personally. The first half of this book really did a great job in this regard. It talks through birth order and different environmental factors growing up that may have lead to a person developing the HSP trait.
However the book doesn't really do much more. Once it passes explaining HSP through psychology, it begins to dip into different aspects of spirituality. I'm non religious but usually open to spirituality, however it really only deals with the "Why" with the only real tangible actions to assimilate into "The Real World" are aura cleansing and a multi chapter dive into how our attitude is affected by events in a past life.
I guess the goal of the handbook is to get you to accept that you ARE a highly sensitive person whether by psychological or spiritual evaluation. But the book lacks really any truly applicable workflows, systems and overall structure to deal with being an HSP in an extremely inconsiderate world.
I just don't know how "You're depressed cause you committed suicide in a past life" really helps me deal with asshole coworkers not ruining my day in THIS life.
This is not a handbook which would have activities and structures set to diagnose, evaluate, and grow. This is an unending list of potential reasons you might be an HSP. To be honest it feels like the goal is for ANYONE reading the book to believe they are a highly sensitive person.
I love learning more about myself, about why I am the way I am, why I feel things so deeply and personally. The first half of this book really did a great job in this regard. It talks through birth order and different environmental factors growing up that may have lead to a person developing the HSP trait.
However the book doesn't really do much more. Once it passes explaining HSP through psychology, it begins to dip into different aspects of spirituality. I'm non religious but usually open to spirituality, however it really only deals with the "Why" with the only real tangible actions to assimilate into "The Real World" are aura cleansing and a multi chapter dive into how our attitude is affected by events in a past life.
I guess the goal of the handbook is to get you to accept that you ARE a highly sensitive person whether by psychological or spiritual evaluation. But the book lacks really any truly applicable workflows, systems and overall structure to deal with being an HSP in an extremely inconsiderate world.
I just don't know how "You're depressed cause you committed suicide in a past life" really helps me deal with asshole coworkers not ruining my day in THIS life.
February 1, 2022
Right book, right time.
March 30, 2022
เป็นโรคไม่ถูกกับหนังสือฮาวทู อันนี้ซื้อเพราะคิดว่าตัวเองน่าจะเข้าข่ายเดียวกับชื่อเรื่อง
แล้วก็คิดถูกทั้งสองอย่าง คือ เป็นคนแบบนั้นจริง และ เป็นหนังสือฮาวทูจริง
ดังนั้น นี่อาจเป็นหนังสือที่ดีสำหรับหลายๆคนถ้าได้อ่านในจังหวะเวลาที่เหมาะ
สำหรับเรา มันก็โอเคในบางจุด และอีกหลายๆจุดที่ไม่อาจทำใจให้ชอบได้
แล้วก็คิดถูกทั้งสองอย่าง คือ เป็นคนแบบนั้นจริง และ เป็นหนังสือฮาวทูจริง
ดังนั้น นี่อาจเป็นหนังสือที่ดีสำหรับหลายๆคนถ้าได้อ่านในจังหวะเวลาที่เหมาะ
สำหรับเรา มันก็โอเคในบางจุด และอีกหลายๆจุดที่ไม่อาจทำใจให้ชอบได้
Read
November 5, 2018I was very attracted to this book as it explains what is a HSP (highly sensitive person) and has strategies to help HSPs to survive and thrive on nowadays world. I was very excited to read and learn, but was a bit put off because the book, while being full of examples and such, seems very basic, and sometimes all the long explanations about different types of things made me lose interest on the lecture, as sometimes I felt there was more detail than warranted in those cases.
November 23, 2023
Very informative! I picked up quite a lot of information I am eager to apply to my life.
December 12, 2020
I'd read a blog from Mel Collins on the Highly Sensitive Refuge instagram page and had really enjoyed it, so was looking forward to her book. Sadly, it didn't really deliver for me.
The book is divided into three sections - what is it to be an HSP, how can you help yourself, and more 'spiritual' perspectives on HSPs. Unfortunately, in a book of only 180 pages, that's a lot to deliver! While Collins does give some tips about how to manage sensitivity (and interestingly, hand tapping is one of them) a lot of the chapters simply seem to say 'and get therapy' - which is fine, but a little more 'self' help would be appreciated!
I did also find the spirituality section quite woolly at the end - lots of stuff on past lives, freeing yourself from 'earthbound souls' and so on. For a 'handbook', I would think that you should either dedicate an entire book to this kind of stuff and do it properly, or leave it alone - it just came across as 'Mel's views on spirituality', which is just one small set of views and beliefs in a huge spectrum of possibilities. Alternatively, if you're going to leave it in, substantiate what you're putting in.
Overall, I found it a bit of a lightweight read.
The book is divided into three sections - what is it to be an HSP, how can you help yourself, and more 'spiritual' perspectives on HSPs. Unfortunately, in a book of only 180 pages, that's a lot to deliver! While Collins does give some tips about how to manage sensitivity (and interestingly, hand tapping is one of them) a lot of the chapters simply seem to say 'and get therapy' - which is fine, but a little more 'self' help would be appreciated!
I did also find the spirituality section quite woolly at the end - lots of stuff on past lives, freeing yourself from 'earthbound souls' and so on. For a 'handbook', I would think that you should either dedicate an entire book to this kind of stuff and do it properly, or leave it alone - it just came across as 'Mel's views on spirituality', which is just one small set of views and beliefs in a huge spectrum of possibilities. Alternatively, if you're going to leave it in, substantiate what you're putting in.
Overall, I found it a bit of a lightweight read.
March 1, 2024
(2.5) sooo she kind of lost me when there started to be typos and also when she said she once had déjà vu while dating a German guy and found out that she was a German soldier in her past life who died in a gas chamber?? which also was the reason she kept randomly choking at night?? idk.. the spiritual part of this book definitely was not for me,, but the other stuff was mega valid👍
December 30, 2019
A great book. Straightforward approach, and easy read. Enjoyed the spiritual aspect, but still helpful for people who aren't very spiritual. The author has an open minded approach take what you want or works for you.
January 30, 2025
I scored 20 out of 22 on the initial checklist of traits. You needed over 14 to be highly sensitive. It was nice to feel someone acknowledge me as normal when I spend a lot of time feeling very distressed that I’m not like other people and therefore not ‘normal’. In terms of the book giving advice and being helpful…. It was to an extent. Say no to things you don’t want to do and spend time with people who are like you is good advice, but life doesn’t work like that. I would have preferred advice for how to cope in forced situations with people who are not like you doing things you don’t want to do! I do recommend the book overall for anyone similarly minded, but it’s not for everyone. There was a lot of new age / holistic / spiritual insight towards the end that a lot of people wouldn’t like. I appreciated it though because I’m naturally that way inclined. 3.5.
Read
January 5, 2023I’ll definitely be coming back to this. It’s very useful if you’re someone who is a highly sensitive person as well as a spiritual person. I am not a spiritual person, but I am interested in looking more into those spiritual aspects to see if they could help me at all! She talks a lot about protecting your mental and physical health from your environment in a bunch of ways, like using crystals or meditation.
March 2, 2025
Good summary of a lot of concepts and link to many further readings. I feel the book is written from a point where the author really wants to help, and not necessarily promote herself or her business. Approach to not only identifying yourself, but also useful tips to overcome some of the challenges.
The downside is that this is indeed a handbook, meaning that it doesn’t go into the adequate depths I expect a regular book would go. I am a firm believer that once you understand the mechanisms well, you can then try to address the problem, as opposed to just follow a list of practical steps.
The downside is that this is indeed a handbook, meaning that it doesn’t go into the adequate depths I expect a regular book would go. I am a firm believer that once you understand the mechanisms well, you can then try to address the problem, as opposed to just follow a list of practical steps.
April 8, 2022
เป็น Handbook ของจริง อธิบายตั้งแต่ลักษณะของ HSP แนวโน้มของคนเป็น HSP ปัญหาที่ HSP มักจะเจอ วิธีการป้องกันไม่ให้ตัวเองรู้สึก overwhelmed จนไปถึงด้าน spiritual ที่เป็นวิญญาณจริงๆ
เราเองก็เป็น HSP คนหนึ่งที่ต่อสู้กับความอ่อนไหวของตัวเองในทุกวัน พอมาเจอเล่มนี้ก็รู้สึกว่าแบ่งเป็นหมวดหมู่ดีนะ ดูครอบคลุม (แต่ไม่ได้เจาะลึกขนาดนั้น) เน้นให้ทำความเข้าใจตัวเองกับเสนอแนวทางการรับมือกับสถานการณ์ต่างๆ มากกว่า
แต่ก็มีพาร์ทที่ไม่ค่อยอินอย่างพาร์ทสุดท้ายที่เล่าเรื่องวิญญาณ การยืดติด ความจริงแล้งเราใช้ชีวิตตาม Blueprint เกิดมาบนโลกเพื่อสะสาง trauma หรือเรียนรู้สิ่งที่วิญญาณเราในครั้งก่อน (อารมณ์แบบชาติที่แล้ว) ยังเรียนรู้ได้ไม่หมด มันดู off topic ยังไงไม่รู้อะ แต่ถ้าเป็นคนที่เชื่อเรื่องนี้เป็นทุนเดิมก็ถือว่าเล่มนี้เก็บภาพใหญ่ครบในด้านจิตวิทยา-วิญญาณ/ความเชื่ออยู่นะ
เราเองก็เป็น HSP คนหนึ่งที่ต่อสู้กับความอ่อนไหวของตัวเองในทุกวัน พอมาเจอเล่มนี้ก็รู้สึกว่าแบ่งเป็นหมวดหมู่ดีนะ ดูครอบคลุม (แต่ไม่ได้เจาะลึกขนาดนั้น) เน้นให้ทำความเข้าใจตัวเองกับเสนอแนวทางการรับมือกับสถานการณ์ต่างๆ มากกว่า
แต่ก็มีพาร์ทที่ไม่ค่อยอินอย่างพาร์ทสุดท้ายที่เล่าเรื่องวิญญาณ การยืดติด ความจริงแล้งเราใช้ชีวิตตาม Blueprint เกิดมาบนโลกเพื่อสะสาง trauma หรือเรียนรู้สิ่งที่วิญญาณเราในครั้งก่อน (อารมณ์แบบชาติที่แล้ว) ยังเรียนรู้ได้ไม่หมด มันดู off topic ยังไงไม่รู้อะ แต่ถ้าเป็นคนที่เชื่อเรื่องนี้เป็นทุนเดิมก็ถือว่าเล่มนี้เก็บภาพใหญ่ครบในด้านจิตวิทยา-วิญญาณ/ความเชื่ออยู่นะ
January 2, 2019
Disclaimer: I obtained my copy of The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People from NetGalley as a preview PDF ebook (which failed to display usably on my Kobo ereader; I read it using the Kindle app on iPad). I'm presuming the text won't change much between that and its final release.
First, be aware that this is not a citation- and study-laden analysis of the high-sensitivity trait, but more the author's life experiences in relation to her realization and sense of her own high sensitivity and a compilation of her strategies for navigating her world as an HSP. So if you're looking for a in-depth study of HSPness, this isn't it; try Elaine Aron's solid and accessible work. But if you're interested in one HSPs long-reflected perspective and "handbook" approach to life as an HSP, or even just a sympathetic validation that HSP is a thing and that it's Not Just You, this might work for you.
The first two chapters—basically Collins's introduction of herself and her perspective on HSP—desperately need extensive proofreading. I lost count of how many times I had to reread a sentence multiple times to tease out its likely meaning, or stumbled across odd word or grammar choices. Bits of this crop up as occasional reading speed-bumps throughout the book, although not nearly as much. Perhaps some of that will have smoothed out between my preview copy and the final.
OTOH, for anyone unsure after the first chapter or two, give Chapter 4 a chance. Collins's "Top Ten Challenges Faced by HSPs" may be her own unscientifically compiled observations, but they are well described and likely to resonate with any HSP, should serve as a fair description of HSP life to non-HSPs, and provide brief hints of where and how other parts of the book will relate to each challenge. This chapter may be the best sampler for toe-in-the-water gauging the value of book as a whole.
The next few chapters explore the types of roles that people, especially HSPs, tend to present in order to more safely interface with the world, six core human needs that tend to drive human behaviors and decisions, etc.
Section Two (Chapters 9-14) covers Collins's "self-help strategies" for HSPs. Her description of emotional filtering and processing is pretty good; not necessarily specific to HSPs, but may be experienced more commonly or deeply by HSPs than by others. And her coverage of strategies for coping with over-arousal include a wide range of options. Not everyone will necessarily buy into some of these options (such as acupressure "tapping" or chakra-based techniques), but think of it more as a menu of potential available tools than a single instruction guide, and it mostly works.
Section 3 (Chap 15-22) explores a more "spiritual" interpretation of HSPness, with connections to reincarnating souls and past lives and the like. This is where I started to skim more, as much of this I found difficult to swallow, especially as it presumes a lot of detailed "knowledge" about how divine structures supporting reincarnation work and feed into successive lives, a degree of trust in Divine Providence to place each of us into the lives that we need to learn and resolve and complete our soul selves, etc. If this doesn't interest you, the good news is that it's concentrated into the back third of the book where it can be skimmed or skipped without interfering much with the rest.
Overall, if you're looking for some life-perspective from an HSP and a broadly inclusive review of potential "handbook" strategies for navigating life as an HSP, this might fit that bill. Personally, I might suggest starting with some foundational understandings of HSPness itself from Elaine Aron's works before reading this for the added "handbook" perspective, but... that's me; even amongst HSPs, not everyone is the same.
First, be aware that this is not a citation- and study-laden analysis of the high-sensitivity trait, but more the author's life experiences in relation to her realization and sense of her own high sensitivity and a compilation of her strategies for navigating her world as an HSP. So if you're looking for a in-depth study of HSPness, this isn't it; try Elaine Aron's solid and accessible work. But if you're interested in one HSPs long-reflected perspective and "handbook" approach to life as an HSP, or even just a sympathetic validation that HSP is a thing and that it's Not Just You, this might work for you.
The first two chapters—basically Collins's introduction of herself and her perspective on HSP—desperately need extensive proofreading. I lost count of how many times I had to reread a sentence multiple times to tease out its likely meaning, or stumbled across odd word or grammar choices. Bits of this crop up as occasional reading speed-bumps throughout the book, although not nearly as much. Perhaps some of that will have smoothed out between my preview copy and the final.
OTOH, for anyone unsure after the first chapter or two, give Chapter 4 a chance. Collins's "Top Ten Challenges Faced by HSPs" may be her own unscientifically compiled observations, but they are well described and likely to resonate with any HSP, should serve as a fair description of HSP life to non-HSPs, and provide brief hints of where and how other parts of the book will relate to each challenge. This chapter may be the best sampler for toe-in-the-water gauging the value of book as a whole.
The next few chapters explore the types of roles that people, especially HSPs, tend to present in order to more safely interface with the world, six core human needs that tend to drive human behaviors and decisions, etc.
Section Two (Chapters 9-14) covers Collins's "self-help strategies" for HSPs. Her description of emotional filtering and processing is pretty good; not necessarily specific to HSPs, but may be experienced more commonly or deeply by HSPs than by others. And her coverage of strategies for coping with over-arousal include a wide range of options. Not everyone will necessarily buy into some of these options (such as acupressure "tapping" or chakra-based techniques), but think of it more as a menu of potential available tools than a single instruction guide, and it mostly works.
Section 3 (Chap 15-22) explores a more "spiritual" interpretation of HSPness, with connections to reincarnating souls and past lives and the like. This is where I started to skim more, as much of this I found difficult to swallow, especially as it presumes a lot of detailed "knowledge" about how divine structures supporting reincarnation work and feed into successive lives, a degree of trust in Divine Providence to place each of us into the lives that we need to learn and resolve and complete our soul selves, etc. If this doesn't interest you, the good news is that it's concentrated into the back third of the book where it can be skimmed or skipped without interfering much with the rest.
Overall, if you're looking for some life-perspective from an HSP and a broadly inclusive review of potential "handbook" strategies for navigating life as an HSP, this might fit that bill. Personally, I might suggest starting with some foundational understandings of HSPness itself from Elaine Aron's works before reading this for the added "handbook" perspective, but... that's me; even amongst HSPs, not everyone is the same.
December 4, 2021
Tengo que confesar que no esperaba el enfoque de este libro. Lo compré esperando que la autora nos hablase de las personas con alta sensiblidad desde un punto de vista más psicológica, las razones por las que esto sucede y aquellas herramientas que pueden ayudarnos a las PAS. Y, si bien la autora sí que nos habla de su vida personal y de su experiencia como personal altamente sensible, gran parte de las herramientas que nos entrega tienen una perspectiva muy espiritual y, aunque me resultó muy interesante, no era lo que esperaba del libro y siento que no me resolvió las dudas que tenía antes de tener este libro.
Me sentí muy identificada con muchas de las cosas que se nos relata en estas páginas, aunque yo ya me identificaba como personal altamente sensible antes de leer este libro y fue la razón por la que decidí comprarlo, me gustó ver que hay más personas que sienten parecido a mí y que no soy "exagerada".
Se nos ofrecen algunas actividades y meditaciones que pueden resultar de ayuda para las personas que se sientan perdidas después de descubrir su "nueva naturaleza".
Aunque no haya cumplido mis expectativas ha sido una lectura interesante que guardaré en mi biblioteca personal ya que contiene ideas y reflexiones que pueden resultar interesantes en diferentes momentos vitales de una PAS.
Me sentí muy identificada con muchas de las cosas que se nos relata en estas páginas, aunque yo ya me identificaba como personal altamente sensible antes de leer este libro y fue la razón por la que decidí comprarlo, me gustó ver que hay más personas que sienten parecido a mí y que no soy "exagerada".
Se nos ofrecen algunas actividades y meditaciones que pueden resultar de ayuda para las personas que se sientan perdidas después de descubrir su "nueva naturaleza".
Aunque no haya cumplido mis expectativas ha sido una lectura interesante que guardaré en mi biblioteca personal ya que contiene ideas y reflexiones que pueden resultar interesantes en diferentes momentos vitales de una PAS.
October 3, 2025
About 10% of this is really purposeful and useful, and complimentary to the work of Elaine Aron in a way I deeply appreciated. That said, I felt like a kid wandering through a haunted house when reading this: the further I went, the weirder it got, until by the end every corner had the leering pseudo-scientific monsters of the Law of Attraction, angels, spirits, past lives, reiki, chakras and crystal recommendations jumping out at me and yelling.
To her credit, Collins continues to remind you that you don’t need to believe in this stuff for other parts of the book to be useful, but the whole thing feels like a rug pull on something really valuable that leaves you instead in a tangled pit of nonsense. I’m worried it could confuse or put off people who really just need simple, practical help.
Think you’re a highly sensitive person? The best technique I’ve found (not from this book) is to say to yourself quietly before you go to sleep: “I did the best I could today. There is nothing I can change now. What I need to do now is to rest, so that I can do it all again tomorrow.”
No angels or crystals required. You can have that one for free. 👼
To her credit, Collins continues to remind you that you don’t need to believe in this stuff for other parts of the book to be useful, but the whole thing feels like a rug pull on something really valuable that leaves you instead in a tangled pit of nonsense. I’m worried it could confuse or put off people who really just need simple, practical help.
Think you’re a highly sensitive person? The best technique I’ve found (not from this book) is to say to yourself quietly before you go to sleep: “I did the best I could today. There is nothing I can change now. What I need to do now is to rest, so that I can do it all again tomorrow.”
No angels or crystals required. You can have that one for free. 👼
November 7, 2018
This book was very much a Tale of Two Cities, to me. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” I enjoyed the first two-thirds of this book very much. In fact, I thought it was great. It’s well written, insightful and contains practical suggestions for the highly sensitive person. The last one-third of this book sadly has little to offer me. Why? Because I personally do not believe in chakras, tapping and other “spiritual” topics of which the entire last one-third of the book is devoted to. I do appreciate the fact that the author devoted a section to the “new age” concepts and practices rather than mixing it in throughout the book. This format allows people like myself to fully engage in the first part of the book and provides for the more “new age-centered” to enjoy the book as well. Neither audience is ignored and this was clever on the author’s part, in my opinion. Thus, my four-star rating.
July 23, 2022
เล่มนี้ เป็นเล่มที่ดีเล่มหนึ่งเลย คือบอกว่าคนที่อ่อนไหวมากๆแบ่งเป็นกี่ประเภท อาการจะเป็นยังไง รวมไปถึงมีแนะนำแนวทางในการแก้ไขปัญหาต่างๆ ซึ่งต่อให้คนที่ไม่เป็นแบบนี้ แต่มีความรู้สึกกังวล หรือคิดมากกับเรื่องต่างๆในชีวิต หรือในเหตุการณ์นั้นๆแล้วหลุดออกมาไม่ได้ เล่มนี้จะมีบางหัวข้อมาช่วยแนะนำเพื่อหาทางเยียวยาจิตใจให้ได้
September 6, 2023
This book lost me as soon as it mentioned reiki, psychic abilities, and past lives. I’ll pass on the nonsense, thanks.
January 8, 2019
The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People: How to Transform Feeling Overwhelmed and Frazzled to Empowered and Fulfilled is written by Mel Collins, who describes herself as a counsellor, spiritual healer, and reiki master, as well as a highly sensitive person (HSP).
The book begins with a description of the characteristics of HSPs. The author explains that they process emotions on a deeper level than others, and tend to be highly empathic and intuitive. They also have difficulty tolerating high levels of sensory stimulation. She also says that HSPs are more intuitive. The author writes that HSPs "are some of the strongest people I know and can be assets in any environment, personal or professional, if understood and respected for who they are."
There is a top ten list of challenges faced by HSPs, along with tips to help address them. They include being empathic sponges, deep emotional sensitivity, and a feeling of not belonging. The author also observes that HSPs appear to dissociate more easily. They also tend to be susceptible to chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, and digestive issues, which she says may "represent problems with HSPs 'digesting' other peoples' issues and processing them". Whether or not that's true in a literal sense, it's an interesting idea. There is also a helpful discussion of the masks that people may construct to hide their real selves, and explains how HSPs tend to identify with certain types of masks.
A number of strategies are laid out to boost self-love. These would be useful to anyone, but the focus is on how they relate to HSPs. There is also a chapter focused on strategies to keep from being over-stimulated and overwhelmed. Some of these are fairly obvious, such as focusing on the breath and spending time in nature, while others are less mainstream, such as emotional freedom technique (also known as tapping), progesterone skin cream for females, and various vitamin, mineral, and herbal supplements.
There is a significant amount of non-mainstream alternative material in the book. My biggest concern was statements that were presented as scientific fact without anything to back them up. A few examples of things that struck me as dubious:
HSPs can be more sensitive to the effects of electromagnetic fields.
For HSPs working in stressful environments, "it has been scientifically proven that the challenges are amplified on so many levels due to increased brain activity in the areas that react to such stimuli."
In the chapter devoted to the Law of Attraction, thoughts are likened to magnets that "give off a vibrational frequency and will draw to us that of the same frequency".
The book recommends walking barefoot for the purpose of "earthing", which "allows electrons to flow between your body and the Earth and infuses the body with negatively charged ions, which the body needs. Grounding or earthing in this way also discharges electromagnetic fields... This was named the 'umbrella effect' by Nobel prizewinner, Richard Feynman in his lectures on electromagnetism." Being the skeptical person that I am, I felt compelled to look this up, and it turns out no one except proponents of grounding seem to be talking about this umbrella effect attributed to a Nobel physicist.
I'll pause here for a brief detour. Pseudo-science talk about "ions" annoys me, because I suspect that these people have never taken a chemistry class or looked at a periodic table of the elements. We've all heard of electrolytes, and another term for electrolytes is ions. Chloride (Cl-) and bicarbonate (HCO3-) are negatively charged ions and sodium (Na+) and potassium (K+) are positively charged ions. Both types are necessary, and normally our kidneys are rockstars at helping us keep them in balance.
The third section of the book is devoted to spiritual healing, which the author does acknowledge that not everyone will connect with. It includes topics such as reincarnation of the souls, spirit guides and guardian angels, and the creation of blueprints for our next lifetime. The author writes that "HSPs are often more aware of their spiritual helpers [guardian angels and spirit guides] than non-HSPs, mostly because they are sensitive to feeling subtle energies due to their high sensory processing sensitivity, but also because they are gifted with natural healing or psychic abilities."
The author writes about past life regression, and common unresolved past life issues for HSPs, including abandonment and guilt. She also touches on "earthbound spirits", spirits of the dead that remained on earth and attached themselves to the living. She suggests that HSPs can be vulnerable to having these earthbound souls attach to them, and recommends "energy protection" strategies and aura and chakra cleansing to avoid attracting these spirits.
The biggest positive about this book is that it encourages HSPs to recognize their strengths rather than look at themselves as flawed. However, it isn't as broadly suitable as the title (The Handbook For Highly Sensitive People) would suggest. The cover gives no indication of the heavy focus on alternative concepts, which is unfortunate because this can be potentially misleading to some readers but also fail to attract some of the potential readers who might be most interested in these topics. For science-minded me this book wasn't a good fit, but I think it could be an interesting read for people who are interested in some of these non-mainstream ideas.
The book begins with a description of the characteristics of HSPs. The author explains that they process emotions on a deeper level than others, and tend to be highly empathic and intuitive. They also have difficulty tolerating high levels of sensory stimulation. She also says that HSPs are more intuitive. The author writes that HSPs "are some of the strongest people I know and can be assets in any environment, personal or professional, if understood and respected for who they are."
There is a top ten list of challenges faced by HSPs, along with tips to help address them. They include being empathic sponges, deep emotional sensitivity, and a feeling of not belonging. The author also observes that HSPs appear to dissociate more easily. They also tend to be susceptible to chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, and digestive issues, which she says may "represent problems with HSPs 'digesting' other peoples' issues and processing them". Whether or not that's true in a literal sense, it's an interesting idea. There is also a helpful discussion of the masks that people may construct to hide their real selves, and explains how HSPs tend to identify with certain types of masks.
A number of strategies are laid out to boost self-love. These would be useful to anyone, but the focus is on how they relate to HSPs. There is also a chapter focused on strategies to keep from being over-stimulated and overwhelmed. Some of these are fairly obvious, such as focusing on the breath and spending time in nature, while others are less mainstream, such as emotional freedom technique (also known as tapping), progesterone skin cream for females, and various vitamin, mineral, and herbal supplements.
There is a significant amount of non-mainstream alternative material in the book. My biggest concern was statements that were presented as scientific fact without anything to back them up. A few examples of things that struck me as dubious:
HSPs can be more sensitive to the effects of electromagnetic fields.
For HSPs working in stressful environments, "it has been scientifically proven that the challenges are amplified on so many levels due to increased brain activity in the areas that react to such stimuli."
In the chapter devoted to the Law of Attraction, thoughts are likened to magnets that "give off a vibrational frequency and will draw to us that of the same frequency".
The book recommends walking barefoot for the purpose of "earthing", which "allows electrons to flow between your body and the Earth and infuses the body with negatively charged ions, which the body needs. Grounding or earthing in this way also discharges electromagnetic fields... This was named the 'umbrella effect' by Nobel prizewinner, Richard Feynman in his lectures on electromagnetism." Being the skeptical person that I am, I felt compelled to look this up, and it turns out no one except proponents of grounding seem to be talking about this umbrella effect attributed to a Nobel physicist.
I'll pause here for a brief detour. Pseudo-science talk about "ions" annoys me, because I suspect that these people have never taken a chemistry class or looked at a periodic table of the elements. We've all heard of electrolytes, and another term for electrolytes is ions. Chloride (Cl-) and bicarbonate (HCO3-) are negatively charged ions and sodium (Na+) and potassium (K+) are positively charged ions. Both types are necessary, and normally our kidneys are rockstars at helping us keep them in balance.
The third section of the book is devoted to spiritual healing, which the author does acknowledge that not everyone will connect with. It includes topics such as reincarnation of the souls, spirit guides and guardian angels, and the creation of blueprints for our next lifetime. The author writes that "HSPs are often more aware of their spiritual helpers [guardian angels and spirit guides] than non-HSPs, mostly because they are sensitive to feeling subtle energies due to their high sensory processing sensitivity, but also because they are gifted with natural healing or psychic abilities."
The author writes about past life regression, and common unresolved past life issues for HSPs, including abandonment and guilt. She also touches on "earthbound spirits", spirits of the dead that remained on earth and attached themselves to the living. She suggests that HSPs can be vulnerable to having these earthbound souls attach to them, and recommends "energy protection" strategies and aura and chakra cleansing to avoid attracting these spirits.
The biggest positive about this book is that it encourages HSPs to recognize their strengths rather than look at themselves as flawed. However, it isn't as broadly suitable as the title (The Handbook For Highly Sensitive People) would suggest. The cover gives no indication of the heavy focus on alternative concepts, which is unfortunate because this can be potentially misleading to some readers but also fail to attract some of the potential readers who might be most interested in these topics. For science-minded me this book wasn't a good fit, but I think it could be an interesting read for people who are interested in some of these non-mainstream ideas.
February 20, 2025
Really really enjoyed this!!
A nice reminder that my empath characteristics are nothing to be ashamed of and how to use them for positive in my life and others :) I also was able to dip my toe into shadow work and how to work on my people pleasing tendencies.
Takeaways:
-You can not change anyone, you can only change your reaction to their behavior
-"To heal, you must accept who you are in your essence is more important than what you achieve."
-if everything was certain, we would be so bored. we need variety to be happy
-turn inward, not outward for answers. sit with the uncomfortable (depending on circumstance of course seek support) and give yourself compassion and forgiveness.
-the coping strategies you used as a child need to be reevaluated in adulthood to grow and move on
-all comes back to self love (realizing this in my inner work research). if you constantly break promises to yourself, you are self sabotaging your own personal self confidence
-forgiving someone doesn't mean that its okay, it means YOU are no longer willing to carry around the pain
-state your needs without the expectation of others meeting them
-listen to gut feelings, literally your body telling you
-like the thought of spiritual beings having a human experience
-home is within us not something we search for
also- love any reminder of the law of attraction, she also explained it beautifully. whatever vibration frequency you are on-is what you will also attract. also love any text that states how amazing EFT tapping is.
A nice reminder that my empath characteristics are nothing to be ashamed of and how to use them for positive in my life and others :) I also was able to dip my toe into shadow work and how to work on my people pleasing tendencies.
Takeaways:
-You can not change anyone, you can only change your reaction to their behavior
-"To heal, you must accept who you are in your essence is more important than what you achieve."
-if everything was certain, we would be so bored. we need variety to be happy
-turn inward, not outward for answers. sit with the uncomfortable (depending on circumstance of course seek support) and give yourself compassion and forgiveness.
-the coping strategies you used as a child need to be reevaluated in adulthood to grow and move on
-all comes back to self love (realizing this in my inner work research). if you constantly break promises to yourself, you are self sabotaging your own personal self confidence
-forgiving someone doesn't mean that its okay, it means YOU are no longer willing to carry around the pain
-state your needs without the expectation of others meeting them
-listen to gut feelings, literally your body telling you
-like the thought of spiritual beings having a human experience
-home is within us not something we search for
also- love any reminder of the law of attraction, she also explained it beautifully. whatever vibration frequency you are on-is what you will also attract. also love any text that states how amazing EFT tapping is.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 8, 2025
-بدأت قراءة الكتاب في شهر يوليو الفائت وأُنهيه الآن في 8 مارس واليوم الثامن (من رمضان)
احتجت لكل هذه الشهور لأني قرأت الكتاب على فترات أحيانا لأن المكتوب كان ملامسا لي جدا فاحتجت أن أستوعبه وأحيانا لانشغالي بقراءة أخرى أو كسلي عن قراءة أي شي...
-الكتاب جيد. ليس جيدا جدا وليس مقبولا. هو جيد.
-لمستني كل الفصول التي تكلمت فيها عن سمات (فرط الحساسية) في أكثر من جانب وكان هذا نقطة قوة الكتاب خصوصا أن المؤلفة نفسها من ذوي فرط الحساسية كما أوضحت.
-لم يعجبني الأربعة فصول الأخيرة لضعف ارتباط ما ورد فيها بالعلم وإنما الأمر كان أقرب لعلم شعبي ووصفات العطارين.
-الكتاب ليس قويا أيضا في مناقشة الطرق الأنسب للتعامل مع فرط الحساسية وإن كان أشار لها بالطبع.
*الملخص هذا الكتاب جيدا جدا في عرض سمات فرط الحساسية وشرحها وهذا ألطف ما فيه والذي لمسني جدا جدا أما باقي الكتاب فليس جيدا بما يكفي
::)
يُتبع بقراءات أخرى وكثيرة عن فرط الحساسية 💚
احتجت لكل هذه الشهور لأني قرأت الكتاب على فترات أحيانا لأن المكتوب كان ملامسا لي جدا فاحتجت أن أستوعبه وأحيانا لانشغالي بقراءة أخرى أو كسلي عن قراءة أي شي...
-الكتاب جيد. ليس جيدا جدا وليس مقبولا. هو جيد.
-لمستني كل الفصول التي تكلمت فيها عن سمات (فرط الحساسية) في أكثر من جانب وكان هذا نقطة قوة الكتاب خصوصا أن المؤلفة نفسها من ذوي فرط الحساسية كما أوضحت.
-لم يعجبني الأربعة فصول الأخيرة لضعف ارتباط ما ورد فيها بالعلم وإنما الأمر كان أقرب لعلم شعبي ووصفات العطارين.
-الكتاب ليس قويا أيضا في مناقشة الطرق الأنسب للتعامل مع فرط الحساسية وإن كان أشار لها بالطبع.
*الملخص هذا الكتاب جيدا جدا في عرض سمات فرط الحساسية وشرحها وهذا ألطف ما فيه والذي لمسني جدا جدا أما باقي الكتاب فليس جيدا بما يكفي
::)
يُتبع بقراءات أخرى وكثيرة عن فرط الحساسية 💚
August 17, 2024
I believe my therapist informed me about this book. She hasn't read it so she couldn't recommend it. I listened to the audiobook on Spotify. There were a few aha, "lightbulb" moments. I've learned quite a bit especially about my social and energy retention habits. It didn't fully keep my attention, but I've been preoccupied. The survey in the beginning helped me self-diagnose. I supplementally talked about the survey results with my therapist even saying things like "I thought this was normal" or "doesn't everyone do this/feel this way" and she would assure me that that's not the case. In the end, this book was helpful.
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