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The Year of the Horses
As seen on The Today Show A Good Morning America, Vanity Fair , TODAY , NYLON and PureWow Best Book of May and a Publishers Weekly and Boston.com Best Book of Summer An Amazon Best Book of 2022 So Far (Biography & Memoir Category) Sharp, heartfelt, and cathartic, The Year of the Horses captures a woman’s journey out of depression and the horses that guide her, physically and emotionally, on a new path forward. At the age of thirty-seven, Courtney Maum finds herself in an indoor arena in Connecticut, moments away from stepping back into the saddle. For her, this is not just a riding lesson, but a last-ditch attempt to pull herself back from the brink even though riding is a relic from the past she walked away from. She hasn’t been on or near a horse in over thirty years. Although Maum does know what depression looks like, she finds herself refusing to admit, at this point in her life, that it could look like a woman with a privileged past, a mortgage, a husband, a healthy child, and a published novel. That she feels sadness is undeniable, but she feels no right to claim it. And when both therapy and medication fail, Courtney returns to her childhood passion of horseback riding as a way to recover the joy and fearlessness she once had access to as a young girl. As she finds her way, once again, through the world of contemporary horseback riding―Courtney becomes reacquainted with herself not only as a rider but as a mother, wife, daughter, writer, and woman. Alternating timelines and braided with historical portraits of women and horses alongside history’s attempts to tame both parties, The Year of the Horses is an inspiring love letter to the power of animals―and humans―to heal the mind and the heart.
266 pages, Hardcover
Published May 3, 2022
111 people are currently reading
6240 people want to read
About the author
Courtney Maum
13 books679 followersCourtney Maum is the author of the novels Costalegre (a GOOP book club pick and one of Glamour Magazine’s top books of the decade), I Am Having So Much Fun Here Without You and Touch (a New York Times Editor’s Choice and NPR Best Book of the Year selection), and the handbook Before and After the Book Deal: A writer’s guide to finishing, publishing, promoting, and surviving your first book, out now from Catapult. Her writing has been widely published in such outlets as the New York Times, O, the Oprah Magazine, and Poets & Writers. She is the founder of the collaborative retreat program, The Cabins, and she also has a writing-advice newsletter, “Get Published, Stay Published,” that you can sign up for at CourtneyMaum.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 159 reviews
March 20, 2022
Courtney Maum you are a great author. I have dealt with depression and anxiety from childhood to adulthood. I have tried therapy, medication, talking to friends and family and I still wake up feeling scared, alone and depressed. It is hard to explain how you feel to people who don't experience depression and anxiety. I have a loving husband and two children but just couldn't understand why I was so sad and depressed all the time. I was raised by a mother who was depressed throughout her life. She turned to alcohol which only made her depression worse. Your book gave me hope. I always loved pets. I never thought about working with them until I read your book. I now foster pets, volunteer at pet shelters and do fundraisers for these helpless creatures. It has changed my life. I am doing something I enjoy and wake up feeling blessed most morning. Thanks for opening my eyes.
November 18, 2021
Courtney really gave this book her ALL. Five stars, five puffy stickers, and a gel of glitter glue for you, Courtney! Very well done!
July 23, 2023
2.5
I have conflicting feelings about this one. I was so excited to pick this one up because I'm a retired horse girly who hasn't been doing great recently. Maybe my expectations were a bit too high and specific going into this, but many parts of this memoir fell flat for me, especially the way the author comes across at times.
The best parts of the memoir are the chapters about horses and the author's mental health issues. Most of these sections were very moving and vulnerable. These were also the parts I believe would resonate the most with a wide audience.
I understand this is a memoir, and that there will be things that happened in the author's life that won't be relatable or of interest to everyone but still carry value, but there were so many parts that felt irrelevant to the main story or just out of touch. Again, maybe I'm being unfair because of my expectations, but when I picked this up I wanted to learn about her connection with horses and how that impacted her mental health. Unfortunately, that's only half of the book. The rest of the book covers the author's childhood, relationship with her parents, meeting her husband, struggling with motherhood, her brothers' illness, mild political commentary, etc. Some of these stories were told better than others, especially her talking about motherhood. But many times, especially in the book's latter half, I wondered what the purposes of including certain stories were.
What really turned me off about this book is how tone-deaf the author was at times. When we think of people who handle horses we often think of privileged white ladies, a category the author falls into. Horses are amazing creatures, and I wish everyone could have the experience of connecting with horses, but unfortunately, horseback riding is usually only accessible if you have the money and resources. The author tries to touch on these subjects here and there, but she does so briefly and without much introspection. The question of privilege and horses could be a book by itself, but the way the author went about it felt disrespectful and just ended up showing how little understanding she had of these subjects.
For example, the author does acknowledge how she grew up wealthy and privileged but also adds how she's not like other rich people because she worked from a young age and her parents didn't spoil her. Why not just own the fact that you had these advantages? You can feel that the author wants to portray herself as a certain kind of person, a freelance artist who cares about politics, who understands the experience of those less privileged than her. This becomes even more clear once she talks about politics and racism. Maum tries to discuss the role horses have had in Native communities and how whitewashed horseback riding has become, but her discussion felt kind of offensive and disingenuous. It comes across as exotification, talking about how she "always felt terribly basic in her Caucasian skin" and how alluring these cultures are to her... she doesn't take the time to examine why she thinks like this and how it can be harmful to those communities. Maum's mention of current-day politics like Trump and COVID also felt strange, as if those parts were only there for her to portray herself in a certain way.
Overall, I connected with some parts of this book, and others felt like blog posts that could've been omitted. I really don't think this book would connect with a wider audience, so if you relate to Maum's story you might enjoy this but otherwise I would skip. If there are books about a similar topic or horses in general, send them my way!
I have conflicting feelings about this one. I was so excited to pick this one up because I'm a retired horse girly who hasn't been doing great recently. Maybe my expectations were a bit too high and specific going into this, but many parts of this memoir fell flat for me, especially the way the author comes across at times.
The best parts of the memoir are the chapters about horses and the author's mental health issues. Most of these sections were very moving and vulnerable. These were also the parts I believe would resonate the most with a wide audience.
I understand this is a memoir, and that there will be things that happened in the author's life that won't be relatable or of interest to everyone but still carry value, but there were so many parts that felt irrelevant to the main story or just out of touch. Again, maybe I'm being unfair because of my expectations, but when I picked this up I wanted to learn about her connection with horses and how that impacted her mental health. Unfortunately, that's only half of the book. The rest of the book covers the author's childhood, relationship with her parents, meeting her husband, struggling with motherhood, her brothers' illness, mild political commentary, etc. Some of these stories were told better than others, especially her talking about motherhood. But many times, especially in the book's latter half, I wondered what the purposes of including certain stories were.
What really turned me off about this book is how tone-deaf the author was at times. When we think of people who handle horses we often think of privileged white ladies, a category the author falls into. Horses are amazing creatures, and I wish everyone could have the experience of connecting with horses, but unfortunately, horseback riding is usually only accessible if you have the money and resources. The author tries to touch on these subjects here and there, but she does so briefly and without much introspection. The question of privilege and horses could be a book by itself, but the way the author went about it felt disrespectful and just ended up showing how little understanding she had of these subjects.
For example, the author does acknowledge how she grew up wealthy and privileged but also adds how she's not like other rich people because she worked from a young age and her parents didn't spoil her. Why not just own the fact that you had these advantages? You can feel that the author wants to portray herself as a certain kind of person, a freelance artist who cares about politics, who understands the experience of those less privileged than her. This becomes even more clear once she talks about politics and racism. Maum tries to discuss the role horses have had in Native communities and how whitewashed horseback riding has become, but her discussion felt kind of offensive and disingenuous. It comes across as exotification, talking about how she "always felt terribly basic in her Caucasian skin" and how alluring these cultures are to her... she doesn't take the time to examine why she thinks like this and how it can be harmful to those communities. Maum's mention of current-day politics like Trump and COVID also felt strange, as if those parts were only there for her to portray herself in a certain way.
Overall, I connected with some parts of this book, and others felt like blog posts that could've been omitted. I really don't think this book would connect with a wider audience, so if you relate to Maum's story you might enjoy this but otherwise I would skip. If there are books about a similar topic or horses in general, send them my way!
October 24, 2022
This is not a book I would have picked for myself, but one that I won as part of a GoodReads giveaway.
The writing was contemplative and honest.
There are audiences that can relate and connect with books like this from the perspective of some real 1st world problems; people with money and connections do not live fairytale lives and can suffer from mental health afflictions too. The way through to the other side is different, as illustrated by this memoir.
This is certainly a book meant for a different type of audience, and I daresay that it is not one with universal connections.
I was able to find the connection to horses mostly in that I grew up around horses because I grew up on a farm, but it is a far cry from the show and sport horses described in this book.
The connection to them is nonetheless understood in much the same way, but the worlds in which they are experienced are vastly different.
There is apparent ethnocentricity in this book from the socioeconomic perspective that prevents the connection with a wider audience, but perhaps one should expect that with memoirs. I am not sure, as they are far from my preferred genre.
The writing was contemplative and honest.
There are audiences that can relate and connect with books like this from the perspective of some real 1st world problems; people with money and connections do not live fairytale lives and can suffer from mental health afflictions too. The way through to the other side is different, as illustrated by this memoir.
This is certainly a book meant for a different type of audience, and I daresay that it is not one with universal connections.
I was able to find the connection to horses mostly in that I grew up around horses because I grew up on a farm, but it is a far cry from the show and sport horses described in this book.
The connection to them is nonetheless understood in much the same way, but the worlds in which they are experienced are vastly different.
There is apparent ethnocentricity in this book from the socioeconomic perspective that prevents the connection with a wider audience, but perhaps one should expect that with memoirs. I am not sure, as they are far from my preferred genre.
September 15, 2022
I was never a horse girl but I love reading books about people and niche interests. I felt like this was a little flat. Despite her talks about therapy, I felt like there was very little introspection. How did she grow up to be a fatphobic woman with an eating disorder, depression, stagnant marriage who takes her daughter’s fashion choices and autonomy to be some some affront to her?
Why didn’t she tell her husband she had owned a horse as a child for many years? What kind of relationship did they have?
I ended up with a lot more questions than answers. It was refreshing to see someone admit they wanted to have a second child as something to fill a hole and to have something to do. I’m glad they decided against this after an unfortunate miscarriage and instead she turned to horses.
I felt like the book didn’t go deep enough into her family and her motives or the horses. It fell a little flat. When she learns of the tragedy at the stable, she doesn’t actually seem to be upset about it. She knows and relays that others are but she mostly seems surprised. It’s an oddly cold, detached book all around. It made me wonder why she felt the need to write it rather than just sell a story about polo to a newspaper, website or magazine.
Why didn’t she tell her husband she had owned a horse as a child for many years? What kind of relationship did they have?
I ended up with a lot more questions than answers. It was refreshing to see someone admit they wanted to have a second child as something to fill a hole and to have something to do. I’m glad they decided against this after an unfortunate miscarriage and instead she turned to horses.
I felt like the book didn’t go deep enough into her family and her motives or the horses. It fell a little flat. When she learns of the tragedy at the stable, she doesn’t actually seem to be upset about it. She knows and relays that others are but she mostly seems surprised. It’s an oddly cold, detached book all around. It made me wonder why she felt the need to write it rather than just sell a story about polo to a newspaper, website or magazine.
May 16, 2022
Memoir, raw and vulnerable= ✔
but right out of the gate the first chapter’s lucid account of her history with depression had me sobbing walking through while streets listening to the audio?
Can’t remember when I was so provoked from the start--yes, had to have something to do with the timing, but that chapter just hallowed me out with a cathartic that was so therapeutic.
and no wonder that the TODAY show just named it its Best Mental Health Read for #MentalHealthAwareness month!
and Courtney had me in the saddle through every other chapter in the beautiful stride of her delicious and nuanced lyricism, which made it an audio book’s version of a page turner.
but right out of the gate the first chapter’s lucid account of her history with depression had me sobbing walking through while streets listening to the audio?
Can’t remember when I was so provoked from the start--yes, had to have something to do with the timing, but that chapter just hallowed me out with a cathartic that was so therapeutic.
and no wonder that the TODAY show just named it its Best Mental Health Read for #MentalHealthAwareness month!
and Courtney had me in the saddle through every other chapter in the beautiful stride of her delicious and nuanced lyricism, which made it an audio book’s version of a page turner.
November 10, 2022
I devoured this memoir! Yes, it is about a woman and her love of horses, but it is so much more. It’s about the life lessons we learn when we dive into rediscovered passions and how those passions allow us to fall into a significant era of growth and self discovery. But simply, it is one woman’s story about her coming of age, her struggle with depression, her marriage, and her relationship with her daughter.
This memoir is emotional, relatable, validating, and so well written. Cannot wait to dive into her novels!
This memoir is emotional, relatable, validating, and so well written. Cannot wait to dive into her novels!
February 25, 2023
After getting to chapter 7 and seeing that there were 10 more hours to go in the eBook, I wasn't hopeful for anything significant to be revealed. For a person who grew up in privilege and wealth, apparently finding how to balance the life she wanted to have with the life she had had was too much for Courtney. Many reviewers found her story relevant to theirs; I didn't find any relevance.
July 24, 2022
Seemed to be all over the place.
September 1, 2022
I have to admit, I was really intrigued as I started this memoir, because - at least on paper - I have a lot in common with Maum: I'm married, I'm a new mother with a young daughter, and I am an aspiring writer (not that Maum is aspiring... she's obviously made it). Not to mention, like Maum, I'm a white and come from a good amount of privilege.
And yet, despite all these similarities between Maum and I, unfortunately I had a really hard time connecting with this novel.
Now, I don't have a deep connection with horses and I haven't (to my good fortune) experienced turmoil in my marriage or deep bouts of depression since having a child, so perhaps these differences contributed to my lack of engagement with the narrative. But then, I've certainly read narratives I had nothing in common with that I nevertheless felt deeply connected to.
Rather, I think I simply struggled to really feel the stakes, or urgency, in this novel. And at the same time, I found it difficult to really understand or sympathize with the author's frustrations as a wife and mother, which to me often felt unwarranted or exaggerated.
And yet, despite all these similarities between Maum and I, unfortunately I had a really hard time connecting with this novel.
Now, I don't have a deep connection with horses and I haven't (to my good fortune) experienced turmoil in my marriage or deep bouts of depression since having a child, so perhaps these differences contributed to my lack of engagement with the narrative. But then, I've certainly read narratives I had nothing in common with that I nevertheless felt deeply connected to.
Rather, I think I simply struggled to really feel the stakes, or urgency, in this novel. And at the same time, I found it difficult to really understand or sympathize with the author's frustrations as a wife and mother, which to me often felt unwarranted or exaggerated.
April 5, 2025
this book surprised me in the best way possible. i picked up this book in an earnest effort to better understand my horse loving sister through the only way i know how — through art. when i have tried to ask her about her passion for horseback riding, never really being verbose like me, she couldn’t explain. so i found this book and it really opened my eyes. given the first chapter is vapidly titled “the night mare” and also the epigraph was from the latest poetry collection i read (“what kind of woman” by kate baer) which i thought was mid, i was apprehensive at first — but other than the sometimes trite chapter titles the book is fantastic. a deep dive into the complex dialectic identities a person holds — for the author, courtney: wife, mother, writer, rider, daughter, sister etc. and how when they start to compete with each other instead of having reserved space for each you can find yourself in a dark hole. this is a beautifully woven story on the relentlessly dour effects of mental health and what it means to be a woman, how important it is for women to have an identity outside of caregiver, spouse, and worker, on how important it is to have something that gets you out of your head. how it’s indispensable to have something that’s simply for fun — no more, no less.
June 2, 2022
This moving memoir by a wife, mother & writer is about depression, horseback riding, and healing. Engrossing and intimate.
Read my full review:
https://bookbybook.blogspot.com/2022/...
Read my full review:
https://bookbybook.blogspot.com/2022/...
July 9, 2022
This is definitely about depression. Not the kind of horse story that gets my gears turning.
May 29, 2022
The Year of the Horses is a memoir about the author's struggle with depression and how she returned to her love of horseback riding as a healing tool. It is about all the different things she tried to combat a depression she couldn't explain: acupuncture, talk therapy, couples therapy, massage, exercise, and even antidepressants. Her return to horseback riding became emotional support for her, which helped her be a better mom, writer, friend, and wife. The story is told through alternating timelines and includes historical portraits of women and horses throughout history.
I love how the author explained how she had to manipulate her energy levels to calm the horse. Even slowing down her breathing had a profound effect. This memoir is not just a nod to how we can recognize and deal with mental health or combat depression; it is also a love letter to horses and what they can do for humans.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/cou...
I love how the author explained how she had to manipulate her energy levels to calm the horse. Even slowing down her breathing had a profound effect. This memoir is not just a nod to how we can recognize and deal with mental health or combat depression; it is also a love letter to horses and what they can do for humans.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/cou...
July 8, 2023
“When I was little, it was not enough to be good at what I was good at, I had to be the best.”
“If I was alone at times and overly self-sufficient as a young person, that had often been my choice. There were firefighters all around me and there always had been. People who reached out and said, You’re part of this team now, don’t leave us.”
“It was easy enough for the grooms to tell me that I had to show the horses who was boss, in their male bodies, they’d been approaching other bodies and situations as a “boss” their entire lives.”
So is this book about an almost 40 year old woman who fixes her life by riding horses? …yes
But it’s so much more, it like spoke to me on another level. And I’m an easily emotional person, but this made me cry when I was in a perfectly good mood, it just drove me to that point so easily. The author describes the events of her life so compellingly that you don’t want to put the book down and it’s so easy to continue.
Also, and everyone should take this very seriously, I don’t tab my books. I’m super lazy and I’m like jealous of the people that tab their books by color and have such pretty books. I TABBED THIS BOOK, IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME WANT TO GO BACK, I WANTED TO REMEMBER HOW I WAS FEELING IN THAT MOMENT.
This book allowed me to understand the book tabbing hype!!! And that is enough for me to love it, anyways…
I’m so surprised this isn’t more popular, it’s so good, too good even. Read it!!!!!!
“If I was alone at times and overly self-sufficient as a young person, that had often been my choice. There were firefighters all around me and there always had been. People who reached out and said, You’re part of this team now, don’t leave us.”
“It was easy enough for the grooms to tell me that I had to show the horses who was boss, in their male bodies, they’d been approaching other bodies and situations as a “boss” their entire lives.”
So is this book about an almost 40 year old woman who fixes her life by riding horses? …yes
But it’s so much more, it like spoke to me on another level. And I’m an easily emotional person, but this made me cry when I was in a perfectly good mood, it just drove me to that point so easily. The author describes the events of her life so compellingly that you don’t want to put the book down and it’s so easy to continue.
Also, and everyone should take this very seriously, I don’t tab my books. I’m super lazy and I’m like jealous of the people that tab their books by color and have such pretty books. I TABBED THIS BOOK, IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME WANT TO GO BACK, I WANTED TO REMEMBER HOW I WAS FEELING IN THAT MOMENT.
This book allowed me to understand the book tabbing hype!!! And that is enough for me to love it, anyways…
I’m so surprised this isn’t more popular, it’s so good, too good even. Read it!!!!!!
April 17, 2025
If you are a former horse girl who is now a depressed adult, boy do I have the book for you.
May 13, 2022
so freaking good
I’m so mad that I finished reading this book and that I don’t have it to look forward to anymore. I’m so mad that Courtney Maum and I aren’t friends who have a regular coffee date.
I’m so mad that I finished reading this book and that I don’t have it to look forward to anymore. I’m so mad that Courtney Maum and I aren’t friends who have a regular coffee date.
April 9, 2022
I received an advance copy of this book via NetGalley.
Courtney Maum's memoir The Year of the Horses is honest, raw, and heartfelt. She details a childhood fraught with emotionally distanced parents amid a highly-privileged lifestyle and then marriage and anxiety-filled motherhood, threading throughout the role--and the absence--of horses through the years. This culminates in her recent healing through her rediscovery of equines.
I'm almost the same age as her, so we're the same generation. When she had a whole chapter centered around the trauma of The NeverEnding Story, oh yeah, I got that. I felt much more distanced from the high privilege of her youth--she might as well have lived on a different planet from me in some regards. However, as someone who was a horse-crazy girl who has anxiety and depression, I felt like we had more in common than not. It's a powerful book that is not about easy answers, but about works-in-progress and struggling to accept that.
Courtney Maum's memoir The Year of the Horses is honest, raw, and heartfelt. She details a childhood fraught with emotionally distanced parents amid a highly-privileged lifestyle and then marriage and anxiety-filled motherhood, threading throughout the role--and the absence--of horses through the years. This culminates in her recent healing through her rediscovery of equines.
I'm almost the same age as her, so we're the same generation. When she had a whole chapter centered around the trauma of The NeverEnding Story, oh yeah, I got that. I felt much more distanced from the high privilege of her youth--she might as well have lived on a different planet from me in some regards. However, as someone who was a horse-crazy girl who has anxiety and depression, I felt like we had more in common than not. It's a powerful book that is not about easy answers, but about works-in-progress and struggling to accept that.
February 20, 2022
The Year of the Horses is an honest and important look at depression and the way we think about mental health. Maum's struggle to acknowledge and understand her depression is unfortunately all too relatable, and her courage to fight back and reclaim the life she finds herself detached from is laudable. The story is beautifully written, weaving stories of her childhood joys and disappointments with her present day hopes and fears. I hope those who are currently fighting their own battles with depression will read this story and cling to its message of hope - there is a way out.
January 24, 2022
Maum's literary prose drew me in from the first page and I was immediately intrigued by this deeply moving story of remembrance. As the author struggles with depression and attempts to find her true self by returning to her love of horses, she weaves and intricate tale of what it means to be a mother, wife, and daughter. This heartfelt and often humorous book is a testament to the healing power of animals.
April 1, 2022
The story bobbed and weaved and didn't always carry me with it, but it is obvious Courtney's heart is in the story. For what I wanted based on the title, horses took a bit of time to take center stage but perhaps we needed to meet many of the other players first.
Glad I came in contact with this ARC through a friend. Thank you to my friend and thank you to Tin House Publishing for creating access to such writings.
Glad I came in contact with this ARC through a friend. Thank you to my friend and thank you to Tin House Publishing for creating access to such writings.
Read
October 26, 2022I wanted it to be deeper. It always felt kind of nonchalant and surface. I love Courtney Maum’s other books but I think the ideas of this outweighed the telling.
May 16, 2022
Courtney Maum's first memoir is a must-read. From the minute it was delivered until I finished it, I couldn't put it down. I'm normally an ebook reader, but I ordered the hardcover. I'm glad I did because the 80s nostalgia was strong. I marked up the margins with notes & stars instead of highlighting in Kindle.
Her recollection of personal experiences (both the wins & losses) throughout her childhood, teens, and adulthood spoke true to me. We've actually lived in the same areas, so I felt my own nostalgia reading her stories (I was actually pregnant in Paris & New England at the same time). Don't worry if you haven't because she beautifully describes all her locations so to bring you into her own memories (think Dumbledore's Pensieve).
Although I'm not a "horse girl"...more like a "car girl" or "cat lady", I loved learning all about horses...specifically the women polo players. I'm definitely going to quote "SHOULDERS LIKE A QUEEN, HIPS LIKE A WHORE!" whenever I need to readjust myself.
I found this memoir to be full of courage, bravery, and honesty (even alluding to her own narrator bias). I can only hope that her experiences and story help others to find ways to prioritize their own self-care and mental health.
Throughout my teens and occasionally as a young adult I would play tennis. Two summers ago I started teaching one of my children but recently started to take lessons again on my own. Tennis to me is what horses are to Maum: something joyful that is completely my own. It challenges and delights me. If you like those two things, then you should read THE YEAR OF THE HORSES as soon as possible.
Her recollection of personal experiences (both the wins & losses) throughout her childhood, teens, and adulthood spoke true to me. We've actually lived in the same areas, so I felt my own nostalgia reading her stories (I was actually pregnant in Paris & New England at the same time). Don't worry if you haven't because she beautifully describes all her locations so to bring you into her own memories (think Dumbledore's Pensieve).
Although I'm not a "horse girl"...more like a "car girl" or "cat lady", I loved learning all about horses...specifically the women polo players. I'm definitely going to quote "SHOULDERS LIKE A QUEEN, HIPS LIKE A WHORE!" whenever I need to readjust myself.
I found this memoir to be full of courage, bravery, and honesty (even alluding to her own narrator bias). I can only hope that her experiences and story help others to find ways to prioritize their own self-care and mental health.
Throughout my teens and occasionally as a young adult I would play tennis. Two summers ago I started teaching one of my children but recently started to take lessons again on my own. Tennis to me is what horses are to Maum: something joyful that is completely my own. It challenges and delights me. If you like those two things, then you should read THE YEAR OF THE HORSES as soon as possible.
June 1, 2022
A wonderfully candid and open hearted biography on depression and finding the places that you need to heal. Courtney found this by reclaiming her childhood passion of riding horses. Now at 38, trying to learn to ride again and to learn something new and challenging, she takes up polo, primarily a man’s sport. Marriage, motherhood, writing (she’s an author), became too much, almost a burden. She couldn’t find her happy.
Here she navigates herself through her depression, which is affecting her marriage, her sleep, her mothering. She feels empty and tired and even thinks another baby is the answer. Bring it all on, maybe that will help. What she discovers going back to horseback riding and learning polo is that you cannot ride a horse and be in sync unless you are fully present and calm of heart. The horse can read you and bring awareness to your mind and body, which is healing. Being so engaged in learning polo, a very challenging and dangerous sport put her in the frame of mind, over time, that she can overcome challenges. She learns to incorporate her daughter in her day to day and as she became more attuned, her marriage began to heal.
What a wonder way to beat depression by actually finding what it is you are missing and fill that hole with passion. I was more engaged in the book when she spoke about her persona life and depression because I have felt all the things she was describing even today. But she later went on into more about the horses, which was interesting, but needed more about her healing heart.
Here she navigates herself through her depression, which is affecting her marriage, her sleep, her mothering. She feels empty and tired and even thinks another baby is the answer. Bring it all on, maybe that will help. What she discovers going back to horseback riding and learning polo is that you cannot ride a horse and be in sync unless you are fully present and calm of heart. The horse can read you and bring awareness to your mind and body, which is healing. Being so engaged in learning polo, a very challenging and dangerous sport put her in the frame of mind, over time, that she can overcome challenges. She learns to incorporate her daughter in her day to day and as she became more attuned, her marriage began to heal.
What a wonder way to beat depression by actually finding what it is you are missing and fill that hole with passion. I was more engaged in the book when she spoke about her persona life and depression because I have felt all the things she was describing even today. But she later went on into more about the horses, which was interesting, but needed more about her healing heart.
April 26, 2024
I love the ways horses give a new meaning to her life through companionship but also fear and excitement. This was very relatable. I usually read memoirs in search of human connection - to live vicariously through peoples friends and foes. This one memoir barely has any dialogue though. It’s all very much in her head. But that’s ok. I learned to appreciate this quiet narrative. One of my favorite parts - the galloping panic anxiety:
“My rigidity and panic were a disappointment to us both. I wanted so terribly to break on through to the other side, to a place where I could become relaxed in the face of fear. I wanted to build up to a riding ability where the more unsettled my mount was, the calmer I became. Where I sat back instead of forward in tense moments, and breathed fluidly instead of holding on to breath.”
Yes! How do we do that? Great book.
“My rigidity and panic were a disappointment to us both. I wanted so terribly to break on through to the other side, to a place where I could become relaxed in the face of fear. I wanted to build up to a riding ability where the more unsettled my mount was, the calmer I became. Where I sat back instead of forward in tense moments, and breathed fluidly instead of holding on to breath.”
Yes! How do we do that? Great book.
June 16, 2025
I picked up this title because of the word horses.it really is a book of overcoming depression/anxiety through time spent reviving the author's childhood obsession with horses. the writing style flits about landing on trouble in her marriage and the troubled divorce of her parents,the miscarriage the author suffered and growing up with a special needs brother, finding her life passion and career in motherhood and writing, having a mother trek her to the barn to ride and finding her way back to the saddle after decades of being without horses. the memoir is mostly a chart of the author's journey through the wilderness of discontent and how returning to her interest in horses brought her through the darkness of depression opening the door to loving her life.
January 16, 2022
I loved this sensitive and illuminating account of motherhood, depression, and healing. The author has a gift for drawing us into her world, whether that's her complicated Connecticut childhood, her "perfect" family life marred by insomnia and depression, or her lifelong relationship with horses, which ultimately allows her to find herself again.
June 16, 2022
Such honesty. At first I wasn't sure how this book was going to go. But I was so impressed by this woman's level of honesty and all that she shared. Also, she taught me a lot about horses during the course of the book. I found myself totally engaged in learning what she had to tell me throughout this memoir. I wish her continued success in her road to discovering her best life. I have never read any of this author's novels, but I will definitely check those out now.
January 19, 2022
As a fellow horse-lover, I found this such an insightful, memorable read. Maum seems able effortlessly to draw us into her emotional and physical landscape, showing the reader from the very start the promise of horseback riding to help her ride the waves of her depression and heal. Especially in a world where we hear so much about quick fixes and toxic positivity, Maum's book is a wonderful reminder that healing can hide in unusual--and unique--places, and that drawing on what we loved in childhood is a powerful tool.
September 17, 2022
Beautiful writing, funny, searingly honest. Really loved this story of a 35+ yo mother and writer finding her way out of depression and back to herself and her family. Even better if you love horses 😊
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