I'm Not Hungry But I Could Eat

by Christopher Gonzalez

Long nights, empty stomachs, and impulsive cravings haunt the stories of I’m Not Hungry But I Could Eat. A college grad reunites with a high school crush when invited to his bachelor party, a lonely cat-sitter wreaks havoc on his friends’ apartment, happy hour French fries leave more than grease on lips and fingers, and, squeezed into a diner booth, one man eats past his limit for the sake of friendship. Exploring the lives of bisexual and gay Puerto Rican men, these fifteen stories show a vulnerable, intimate world of yearning and desire. The stars of these narratives linger between living their truest selves and remaining in the wings, embarking on a journey of self-discovery to satisfy their hunger for companionship and belonging.

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, LGBT, Queer, Contemporary, Latinx, Literary Fiction

128 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 1, 2021

About the author

Christopher Gonzalez is a queer Puerto Rican writer and the author of I'm Not Hungry but I Could Eat. He is a 2021 NYSCA/NYFA Artist Fellow in Fiction for the New York Foundation of the Arts. His writing appears in the Nation, Catapult, the Millions, Little Fiction, the Forge, Lunch Ticket, Cosmonauts Avenue, and elsewhere. A graduate of Vassar College, he was the recipient of the 2015 Ann E. Imbrie Prize for Excellence in Fiction Writing. His flash fiction was chosen for the 2019 Best Small Fictions anthology and named one of Wigleaf‘s Top 50 for 2020. He currently serves as a fiction editor at Barrelhouse and spends his waking hours tweeting about Oscar Isaac, book publishing, trash television, and the Popeyes spicy chicken sandwich @livesinpages.

Reviews

[Christopher Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deeply biased because I wrote it.

[Teresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I hadn’t heard of this book or its author until an online friend announced she was gifting a few copies, first-come, first-serve. I’ll take a chance on just about any new short-story collection: Discovering new short-fiction writers is one of my many reading joys.

From the first story, I felt connected to the writer’s way of expressing emotions and feelings. With its overarching metaphor of the narrator possessing only half of a heart, “Half-Hearted” was my favorite, yet all of the stories achieve a certain poignancy.

Humor, mostly dark, is present as well, including its best use in the final story. As to be expected from the book’s title, the collection is full of eating—as well as drinking and sex—to be sociable; to delay loneliness; to fill a hole that’s much more than hunger for food, but is always hunger.

[Claire Fuller · Rating 4 out of 5]

15 stories / flash fiction pieces about being a bi or gay Puerto Rican man in the US. Sometimes dark, funny, or just wonderfully weird, I enjoyed most of these. I liked their brevity but still always felt they landed well.

[Jami · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a treasure, crackling with real and important feelings. The stories of I'M NOT HUNGRY BUT I COULD EAT are funny, sharp and heartbreaking – and full of an enormous amount of hope.

[Bill Silva · Rating 3 out of 5]

A few memorable stories here, all of which feature a consistent voice and tone...a promising debut.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really great collection of stories that balances heavy emotions and humor with the occasional drop of absurdity. The scenes and the characters feel real and relatable and like people you'd want to know (well, some of them).
I loved the way that food represented desire, intimacy, comfort, and emotional capacity (and also sometimes just the literal pleasure of food) throughout the collection. The theme of emotional capacity especially stood out to me--some of the narrators (especially the one in the title story) give of themselves even when they don't have room to spare. Standout stories for me were "Packed White Spaces," "Better Than All That," "I'm Not Hungry But I Cold Eat" and "Half Hearted."

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’M NOT HUNGRY BUT I COULD EAT is the debut collection of short stories and flash fiction from Christopher Gonzalez. At the beginning the author indicates that in all stories narrators are bisexual Latino cubs, except one where the character is gay. This summarizes the themes and ideas of the stories.

I don’t always love short stories because sometimes I lose interest constantly switching between characters. Here, the collection is so cohesive that I kept turning pages to find out what happened. The author is a great writer with a clear, unique voice that’s both compelling and easy to read. These stories range from funny, to sad, to weird.

At only 115 pages, you could devour this book in one or two sittings as I did. I hope that this is just the start of a brilliant career for Gonzalez. I will definitely pick up whatever he writes next.▪️

[Lars Conner · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm Not Hungry But I Could Eat by Christopher Gonzalez - 3/5 stars
TW: fatphobia

Thank you to NetGalley and Dreamscape Media for an advance copy of this audiobook. I am leaving this unbiased review independently.

Reviewing a compilation of short stories holistically is always difficult. Based on the subtitle of the book, I expected most of the stories to be about being Puerto Rican, being gay or bisexual, or both issues at once. However, I was a bit disappointed on this front, as most of them just read as being about nothing at all, or being a fat individual.

A minority of the stories were standouts to be as being well above the rest in their quality. I vastly enjoyed "Packed White Spaces", "Better Than All That", and "Little Moves". Each of these does a wonderful job of navigating being a queer person of color in a world where the default is straight and white. Each has a unique take and does a wonderful job of telling subtle, nuanced stories. They're small stories. Just single scenes give us an insight into the lives of these men just living as queer Puerto Rican men.

Just as there are stand-out stories on the good side of things, there are also two, in particular, that fall flat to me. "What You Missed While I Was Watching Your Cat" and "Ordering Fries at Happy Hour" both fall flat for me. In the case of the former, it is a very confusing, jarring story about nothing in particular. In the case of the latter, it was extremely hard for me to listen to as it involves a character having a thought process about eating french fries very reminiscent of disordered eating. There was little warning that this type of content would be included in the book, at least from descriptions that I read.

At the end of the day, a large reason this book fell flat for me was that it wasn't about what I thought it was going to be about. The few stories that did fall in the realm I expected were a joy, and the other 12 were a slog. On one hand, I don't want to judge the book too harshly for my own misconception. On the other hand, my idea came from the description of the book and the subtitle, which are misleading in the subject matter and not beyond reproach.

If I was judging just the three stories I enjoyed, this book would definitely be 4 stars or higher. However the rest of the book, for me, would be down at a 2, so I've placed it right in the middle at 3 stars. While I personally wouldn't buy it or recommend it, I'm sure there are those out there that would enjoy this book, I'm just not one of them.

-Audiobook Notes-
This audiobook is read by Christian Barillas, Tony Chiroldes, and Anthony Medina. It is extremely refreshing to see Latino stories written by a Latino author being read by Latino narrators. These three individuals don't take anything away from the text, but they don't necessarily bring anything to it either. If you are an audiobook person, listen to it, but if you generally prefer to read a book physically, you won't be missing out on anything by not listening to the audiobook.

[Tara Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection is at times startling, at times disarming, but always emotionally resonant. The characters in these stories open their souls to us, sharing their vulnerabilities, their disappointments, and their strategies for emotional self defense. In some cases, their motives are laid bare, not for us to judge, but to empathize with. In other cases, we puzzle over their behavior as they reveal themselves through their attempts to shield themselves from a difficult world. Each story is a small, delicious bite of a satisfying meal.

[Brenna Gomez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I savored this slim story collection. Every time I thought I knew which story was my favorite, I found a new one that competed. The hunger and loneliness portrayed in both romantic and familial relationships was startling. Really this is a book that asks us to think about what we want from others and if we're ready to demand more of ourselves. It was also a master class in flash fiction, and I'll be thinking about it for a long time.

[Elliott Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deeply biased because I am presuming most of these stories will come from Chris's online and lit journal flash fic, which has been equally touching and hysterical in the glorious tradition of "cringey" bildungsroman moments.

[Anushree · Rating 5 out of 5]

Talk about misleading covers! Easily one of the best, definitely among top three, short story anthologies I have ever read. The only debut work that had moved as much was The Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri, and this is where the similarity ends. Centred on love, longing, loss and relationship struggles of Puerto Rican bisexual and gay men, each slice of life story presented here is raw, aching, blindingly beautiful. The unflinching honesty, microscopic self-scrutiny comes with a heady shot of vulnerability. In its spectacular fragility and transparency, each story is a naked portrait of the best and worst, warts and all, that love, friendship and anything in-between offers. There's palpable exhaustion from the normative 'white' and 'straight' pigeonholes, and the modern dating rituals of one night stands, ghosting, fleeting connections, holding back rude truths and simultaneous (non-exclusive) dating. Somewhere in the middle, a few stories get too erotically graphic but most evoke eroticism in a lustful or loving gaze which is indispensable given the context. Some of such lines made me squirm but nothing caused to me skip ahead. I felt what the main characters in each of the stories felt, that was something, actually everything that makes this book an unforgettable re-read. Yes, that's right. I heard the audible book first, loved it and then read the Kindle book too to read a line and pause and breathe and then read some more. Both the experiences were fascinating!

[--- · Rating 5 out of 5]

every collection should include at least one story told in the second person for complex psychosexual reasons, imo

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic short story collection to start the year with! I loved this. I often fear that my short stories are too short, but this collection reassured me that short stories that are on the shorter side can still be excellent.

The stories in this collection are funny, smart, and heartbreaking. You'll be swept away, rooting for these characters, lonely and stuck in their patterns as they are. Also loved the bi representation! It's rare sometimes and it was awesome to see bi characters on the page in this collection.

"Little Moves" was my favorite by far!

[Laurie Burns · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
I’m Not Hungry But I Could Eat” by Christopher Gonzalez is described as “ a compact, short story collection about messy and hunger-filled bisexual Puerto Rican men who strive to satisfy their cravings of the stomach, heart and soul in a conflicted and unpredictable world.” Relatable! I enjoyed it. Fast and furious and made me hungry (as usual).

[Poptart19 (the name’s ren) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

A delightful collection of short stories centering on young men (approximately 30) adrift in life & their disappointments & aspirations & daily lives. Very well written.

[What I liked:]

•The writing is smooth & easy to read, with realistic dialogue.

•The characters are quite relatable, sympathetic yet often with a mean or ugly streak that opens up a great depth in the story. The character development this writer achieves in such short stories is skillful.

•I really like how these stories are anchored in the mundane minutiae of everyday life, with such astute observations. And then one of the mundane minutiae triggers a revelation of pain or longing or a significant memory that launches the whole story to new heights of meaning & reflection. It’s subtly done, smooth & seamless.


[What I didn’t like as much:]

•A few of the stories didn’t resonate as deeply as the others for me, such as the title story. That one’s about a guy who eats past the point of severe physical discomfort while listening to his friend describe how she takes advantage of dying people because she’s bored…I just didn’t see the point of that story.

CW: infidelity, homophobia, sexism, racism

[I received an ARC ebook copy from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review. Thank you for the book!]

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christopher Gonzalez' unique voice pulled me into this collection immediately and each story surprised me in both delightful and unsettling ways. My favorites include "Packed White Spaces," "Better Than All That," and "Here's the Situation."

[Taylor Givens · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5*

I read this to satisfy the “read an independently published book by a BIPOC author” prompt of the 2023 Book Riot Read Harder Challenge.

It was a fun, heartfelt, single sitting read and I found myself wanting more. So much more. A lot of these stories have so much potential and I hope to see more from this author in the future.

[LGBT Representation in Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book of stories about Bisexual and Gay Puerto Rican men. The stories explore death, break-ups, love, cancer, and the role of hunger in our lives.

[Emma Hare · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great collection of short stories, very engaging and a quick read!

[Chris Kubik Cedeño · Rating 4 out of 5]

I identified a lot with this book. A lot of really complex relationships are unpacked in this, across many lines of how we identify and connect with ours — people who grow up with us, people who share our backgrounds, etc. And then there also the uncomfortable transition points when we outgrow these friends and people, and I felt like these transitions were explored so beautifully in this book. It left a melancholic, but hopeful, spirit in me. I was very glad to have had the opportunity to read Chris’s work.

[Patrick Mullen-Coyoy · Rating 5 out of 5]

As you sit down to read I’M NOT HUNGRY BUT I COULD EAT, you could be excused for letting your guard down. The narrators are funny, the protagonists acerbic, and the descriptions of grease and salt as sensuous as the bodies chewing and touching and more in the midst of it all. Nevertheless, it’s the small violences scattered throughout each story—the gut-punch of a sentence, a character’s day gone from bad to hell—that stick with me the most after reading through this book.

Gonzalez’s characters ache with want in ways I’ve seen few authors portray. There’s the ever-present danger that they’ll go too far, say too much, cut to the feeling only to be left bleeding out without any way of putting themselves back together. Indeed, some of the most striking moments in this collection come from stories like “Better Than All That” and “The Secret to Your Best Self,” where characters give in to that voice in the back of their head telling them to ruin an engagement or trash the kitchen. Regardless of how things turn out, it’s thrilling in each case to see what will come of them trying to feed their hunger for love, sex, and, in so many cases, mere connection with others.

All that said, the palate cleanser throughout remains Gonzalez’s humor and heart. Even in his darkest stories, there’s a laugh or a reference or a mouth-watering description of food that keeps things in check. And these, too, are the moments that I’ll hold on to moving forward—the meal shared with friends, the unplanned hookup, the half-hearted hand-holding. All the tiny sparks that keep these sarcastic, lonely, bisexual Puerto Rican cubs going story after story, day after day.

[BookBagDC · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a series of stories about hunger -- hunger for connection, intimacy, belonging, and, indeed, for food. Each story explores the lives of bisexual and gay Puerto Rican men, as they navigate relationships with their family, friends, and those with whom they have just fleeting interactions often across significant chasms in experience or identity. The story about one man returning home for the bachelor party of his former high school crush, and his reimersion in expected and unexpected ways into his high school experience, was particularly powerful. The stories are often quite funny, including one about a young couple having a party to celebrate their new washer and dryer. The narration of this audio book was also strong.

Highly recommended!

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous collection. My favorite stories were "Better Than All That" and "Juan, Actually." Gonzalez has a particular talent for loneliness and a quick flare for the emotional gut punch.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a collection of short stories about life, New York, bisexuality, and most importantly, food. Food is more than gaining the necessary calories and nutrients, it is about nurturing oneself - feeding ones soul. The connections we make with lovers, strangers, and ourselves are embedded within late night diners, coffee shops, and dive bars. These themes help marinate each story and together offer a buffet of life, love and loss. I really appreciated The author’s perspectives on simultaneously navigating LGTBQ and Puerto Rican spaces as those are intersections I personally know very little about. But that’s why we read isn’t it? To taste new food!

[Jamie Beth Cohen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know I'm the only person in the world who read these stories as horror, but I think that's what they were and I mean that in the BEST possible way. So, so proud of Chris and LOVED this collection!

[Isaiah Holbrook · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’M NOT HUNGRY BUT I COULD EAT by Chris Gonzalez is a collection of stories about bisexual and gay Puerto Rican men and the various ways their physical hunger is symbolic to their emotional, sexual, and spiritual desires and longing.

I thought the majority of these stories were interesting; however, I did find the central theme of food to be not only repetitive but at times very vague in terms of what food and hunger actually symbolize. There are a couple stories where the characters are just eating and having surface-based conversations. I really couldn’t decipher the heart of these stories and what Gonzalez is actually saying (for example, the story “A Mountain of Invertebrates” and “Ordering Fries at Happy Hour”, which I did really enjoy but only for its craft rather than the totality of the story).

I will say that I’m not typically drawn to short story collections, so I’m not the target audience for this book, but I do think the writing and craft choices that the author makes within these stories are definitely worth reading.

[Anna]

I seem to be in the minority with this one and the fact that I did not like it. I don't know if I'm just not smart enough for these type of anthologies but this was not an enjoyable read for me. I am also put off by the amount of fat phobia in the book even though this was supposed to be some sort of fat positive queer book. There were a couple stories that were deeply triggering regarding fat phobia both internalized and external and I just can't get over the fact that those were included and are being praised.

If you like literary fiction anthologies, you may enjoy this one more than I did. Almost all the rest of the reviews are very positive so I do think that this is a me issue which is why I'm leaving it unrated. While I do think that the fat phobia is a major issue, there were a couple stories that I didn't hate but I honestly was just left feeling confused at the purpose of each story.

[Karenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent collection, many dealing with the psychological perils of dating and the difficulties of self acceptance. Like an expert chef, Gonzalez combines a variety of flavors, for example balancing dry humor against the predominantly melancholic tone, to create an emotional feast. I’ll definitely be returning for more.

[Shannon Wolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book isn’t supposed to be out until December but here she is, in my mailbox and then in my hands, and perhaps rather fittingly because of the title, devoured in an hour. This slim volume boasts a number of short stories which hold identity and distinct, full, burning characterization at their core. These stories (about Puerto Rican bisexual men who have an insatiable hunger) feel fresh and unfurl a kind of longing, that feels all too familiar. Chris writes delicately, but with an immediacy that makes the reader feel that the story is upon them, moving through them, like a sweet heartburn or a really good plate of fettuccine. Love this, obviously.