Putting My Heels Down: a memoir of having a dream...and a day job

by Kara Tatelbaum

“If your father practiced medicine the way you dance, he’d be under a million lawsuits.”

That’s what Miss Lorraine used to tell Kara as a young dancer in between yelling, “Put your heels down!” In dance, criticism is considered a compliment, so as a young dancer with short Achilles tendons, tight hamstrings, and knobby knees she fancied herself a star. Thirty years of leotards and tights later, she had to face some hard truths. Maybe she wasn’t a dancer after all.

After graduating from a top conservatory and embarking on her Martha Graham dreams, Kara reluctantly chose to teach Pilates to pay the bills. After initially failing her certification thanks to a nasty margarita hangover, she became one of the most sought after Pilates instructors in Manhattan. She cracked herself up, with what could only be described as Pilates stand-up, poking fun at high maintenance clients and gym culture. But, after hitting many unexpected speed bumps in her dance career, what started as a nothing day job had become her everything. And it wasn’t funny anymore. Underneath that peppy six-pack Pilates persona was a sad little girl fighting for her dream.

Putting My Heels Down exposes the harsh realities of life as a dancer but more importantly, the conflict so many of us experience between having a day job and having a dream. You won’t need to know about pliés to relate.

Genres: Memoir

273 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 29, 2022

About the author

Described by the New Yorker as "having brown curls, bright eyes, kiddish exuberance and looking like the heroine of a children's book, Really Rosie meets Olivia the Pig," KaraTatelbaum brings full-out dancer energy to all of her endeavors. She tries like hell not to pigeon-hole herself—striving for a life of authenticity, grace, and humor. As a sought-after teacher and coach, Kara empowers others to hold on, let go, realize, and expand their own dreams. You can find her spotlight center-stage or cheering from the audience. Turns out she's comfortable both places.

Kara's memoir Putting My Heels Down:a memoir of having a dream...and a day job—a brutally honest look at her life as a dancer and very reluctant Pilates instructor trying to make it in NYC—will be released by Motina Books on International Dance Day (April 29, 2022).

Kara lives in NYC with her husband and two children. (Half of that sentence is still a total shock!)

Reviews

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book from start to finish and had just been thinking that there aren’t enough dance memoirs. Kara writes with honesty about the dance world and now she didn’t fit the typical dancer physique, yet excelled and was reviewed in The New Yorker and NYT. Everytime she was faced with other challenge, she found her own success on her own terms. It was the ability to see the light when so many would have given up that makes her story universal. Her voice is vivid and compelling. Not to be missed!

[Jilly Richcrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite books are ones that I can't put away because I have to continually know what happens in the next chapter and am inevitably disappointed when I reach the end because it happened so quickly.
This is Kara's memoir. It is honest and funny, self-effacing and reflective, and entirely relatable. It's not a fairytale of overcoming setbacks again and again to achieve a lifelong dream no matter what it takes, but a truly human story of realizing what defines you one day doesn't have to define you the next. You don't have to be a dancer to connect with her story; you just have to be a dreamer.

[Reagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this entire book in one day. Made me cry, laugh, everything. I’m so grateful to have read a story similar to mine by another dancer

[Mark DeGarmo · Rating 5 out of 5]

A down and dirty, hilarious and poignant very human New York dance journey that those of us in the New York City, U.S., and international noncommercial concert dance worlds know all too well. Survival mode deluxe reigns in the embodied dreams of its acolytes, minions, and flavors of the month. Kara lets us into her dance bag, head and heart revealing an evolving passion and sense of purpose. She vividly portrays the pain and humiliation, hard work, support, and transcendence she experiences with the reader by her side. Her writing is well crafted, capturing a fleeting historical moment post-dance boom as dancers, choreographers, and dance companies continue their Sisyphean struggles to survive in New York and across the U.S. This memoir makes a very satisfying and moving read.

[Carol K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kara Tatelbaum nailed it in her book, " Putting My Heels Down: a memoir of having a dream . . . and a day job". It's a good read and anyone who has ever taken dance classes, performed, taken Pilates, taught Pilates or been to China will have a great time in these pages. She does an amazing job of allowing us to get deep inside her frustrations and disappointments with spirit, energy, and humor. Even through the acknowledgements at the end. Talk about determination. Kara has it. The book has it.
Carol K. Walker

[Staci Greason · Rating 5 out of 5]

I opened this book for the dance, but I stayed for the writing.

Don’t be fooled by the fun title, Kara Tatelbaum is more than a dancer with a day job. She’s a good storyteller.

In her delightful, fast-paced memoir, filled with lovable characters, Tatelbaum invites us to become friends with a peppy young girl with a big passion for ballet. A young woman who tries, and repeatedly falls, but always gets back up on her toes again. This is in part, because she can’t actually put her heels all of the way down to assume specific ballet positions. This physical attribute affects the trajectory of her dance dreams and she moves into modern dance and choreography while teaching Pilates to pay the rent.

One of the delight’s of this book is Kara Tatelbaum’s enthusiastic energetic voice. No matter the slump, she feels it, then shrugs it off, and recalculates. Always moving forward. Maybe this is not how the author felt about her experiences, but an infusion of positivity is the gift she’s given her readers.

At a time when it looks as if the world is sliding deeper into darkness, Putting Down My Heels encourages us to remember that with a little gusto and a lot of determination, a happy life is still possible.

[Shari V. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kara does a wonderful job at taking us along her journey with humor. I often smile/laugh while reading and people ask me what am I reading that is making me smile. Kara makes you feel as if you were present when it happened. There are so many times she described challenges she faced that I could totally identify how she felt and what she experienced but in my own past situations. Kara is funny, witty, this book is a pleasure to read.

[Jamie Gehring · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will NEVER look at my pilates instructors the same!

I absolutely loved this honest memoir from Tatelbuam. It is incredibly well written, humorous, and a wonderful behind-the-scenes look at the dance world. Reading it conjured up my ballerina dreams as a little girl. I lived vicariously through the author as she gracefully transported me directly into each scene. And some of those scenes felt soul-crushing! But Tatelbaum always remained steadfast with her determined and optimistic spirit.

I loved reading about the author's journey through dance and ultimately, life! I highly recommend this book to those searching in life, looking for inspiration, or anyone with a dance background (or like me, who only dreamt of the perfect pirouette).

Thank you to the publisher for an advance reader copy in return for an honest review.

[Lisa Ellison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Putting My Heels Down: A memoir of having a dream and a day job is a funny, inspiring look into the grueling worlds of Pilates and dance. As a little girl, Kara dreamed of being a world-famous dancer, even though her body didn’t always cooperate. When some teachers labeled her tight hamstrings as a handicap or threatened to bite her knees, Kara’s refused to give up on her goal. Her memoir is a testament to the unwavering tenacity that fuels our careers and callings. I’m not a dancer, but I resonated with Kara’s determination and the lengths she was willing to go to fulfill her dreams. Reading her book was like sitting with a best friend while she shares her hopes, fears, and humorous moments. As I watched her persevere on the page, I felt she was whispering in my ear: dreams are important, so pursue yours too.

[Coco Barnhart · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a story of a passionate dancer working against all odds, even her own body, to pursue her ever-living childhood dream. I loved reading about Kara Tatelbaum’s journey not only as an aspiring dancer and choreographer, but as a human too. Readers of any age, dancers or not, will find themselves connecting with her experiences throughout the book. As a high school junior, her story allowed me to really look into my own life and future and accept the changes that will be coming in the next few years with college and other things of the sort. Her spite-filled resilience and need to prove haters wrong when faced with rejection truly resonates with me. Tatelbaum draws you in with her real, sarcastic storytelling making it a hilarious, hard to put down book that reads like a lively novel. Beautiful work! I recommend that everyone should read.

[Laura Santi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Putting My Heels Down takes the reader on a journey through Kara's experience in the dance world, from being a young ballet dancer who faced critique from her teachers to becoming a well-known choreographer in New York. She points out serious issues in dancers' spaces — such as teachers' harsh comments on students' bodies and their abilities — while telling her story with a refreshing humor that never leaves for a boring moment. Her personality shines through on the pages, to the point where you can almost feel as if you are there on the stage (or AstroTurf) with her. Even for those who aren't dancers, her story speaks to anyone who has had both a dream and a day job needed to try to make that dream work.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this book (and totally didn't expect to)! This was selected as a book for a book club I'm in that reads books primarily connected in some way to ballet. When this book was selected, I wasn't sure I was going to enjoy it, because while the author does study ballet, she eventually discovers she has a greater love and talent for modern dance, and modern dance is not really something I enjoy watching (or doing) much. HOWEVER, this author's voice is so engaging and funny that I ended up really liking this book, so if you enjoy memoirs about dance or just a great memoir about the ups and downs a person can experience in pursuit of one's dreams, then I recommend this book.

[Angela Franco · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book it’s a perfect read for anyone who has been a dancer or a Pilates instructor. It follows Kara, a dancer who rises in her career despite facing significant challenges and skepticism from others. Many people in her position might have given up on their dreams, but Kara's resilience sets her apart.

The book is well-written, engaging, intense, and enjoyable. It offers a wealth of material for both adults and younger readers. I really enjoyed it and found it refreshing to read a book that steers clear of dance clichés.

[Rachel Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a holistic physical therapist and fellow New Yorker I connected with the notion of to putting my own heels down time and time again to facilitate healing and guide people to express their physical and mind body scars to release their holding patterns. I fully appreciate the way Kara accessed her voice and told her story. Her story was told in such a frank and honest way that took me with and through her journey to the many layers of finding her voice and herself.

[Sharon · Rating 1 out of 5]

She is mocking, judging, and rating clients in the first several pages, but did I do the sane thing and toss the book aside? No, I did not. Written by an arrogant narcissistic woman whose only goal is stardom in dance. Unfortunately, she had parents who mollycoddled her egotistical behavior. Throughout the book, she practically brags about how gullible and easy to take advantage of her clients are--absolutely sickening. My only hope is she grew up and found something resembling empathy for others. I feel sorry for her husband.

[Lisa Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this! An inside look at the cutthroat world of dance, this memoir is poignant, insightful and deliciously funny (don't miss her observations of some of the Pilates-obsessed moms she's taught). Tatelbaum dishes about the worlds of Pilates and dance, but also shares her own struggle to come to terms as her childhood dreams eventually give way to reality.

[Patty Craft · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have zero interest in dance and yet I found this memoir very compelling. Kara is both witty and open, sharing her ups and downs in an endearing way. I hope she plans on writing a followup book. I look forward to finding out what happens next.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a personable memoir that keeps the reader coming back for more. Kara's writing is warm and engaging. She doesn't spare herself anything! I've never taken any dance classes but I was with her the whole time. I love it that she has tight hamstrings like me. Well worth spending time on.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kara had me laughing and smiling and crying. Always rooting for her. The strength and courage that she shows throughout the book was truly inspiring. I love that I feel like I know her so well now that I have read this memoir. I can’t wait for the next book to see what happens next!

[Mary Ranbom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kara's wit and humor in dealing with so many real and incredible challenges is uncanny!! Kara has a zest for life and making light of every situation, a MUST READ!!!

[Jennifer Kohli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, couldn’t put it down and soo relatable as a dancer myself. Absolutely recommend!!!

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great memoir that feels more relatable than most dance memoirs!

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed my way through this wonderful, witty and surprisingly vulnerable book. Choreographer and dancer Kara Tatelbaum of independentdancemaker and Lazy Girl Pilates: Morning does a terrific job of taking us inside the world of the downtown NY modern dance scene and showing the incredibly hard work, the necessary resilience, and the reality of the serious schlep to constantly keep it all in motion. While her topic is dance (and her Pilates side hustle), her trials are relevant to anyone paying their dues to make it all work. Is all our insanely busy juggling worth it? Do our dreams come true, die, or evolve? Kara might say a private Pilates lesson could help us think about it. Just be sure to roll up your own mat and put away your sweaty towel when you're done.

[stephanie vuckovic · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kara's memoir is a refreshingly honest look at her struggle for identity when her professional attempts at establishing herself as a dancer and choreographer don't meet her high expectations of success. She details the exacting world of professional dance, and that of the NYC gym and Pilates scene, with candor and wit. She paints a sympathetic picture of a young woman determined to reach her dreams despite painful physical setbacks and the vagaries of the industry. I was rooting for her the whole time! Kara's swift writing propels the story effortlessly along; I was surprised to have torn through it in two days! This book will appeal to any reader who has ever doubted themselves along their journey of self-discovery.

[Rb · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put down Putting My Heels Down. Kara shares her struggle to stay true to herself with humor and honesty. She depicts the physical and emotional toll of making it in the New York dance world but you don't need to be a dancer to relate to the moments of pain and triumph. This memoir speaks to anyone who has the courage to pursue a dream! 

[Ronit Plank · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a spectacular inside look at the life of a professional dancer!
Brave, honest, and unafraid, Putting My Heels Down is the story of one woman's quest to pursue a career as a dancer despite the toll the New York dance scene takes on her body, her spirit, and her dream. Through injuries and setbacks Tatelbaum drives herself to live a life of creative meaning and pulls no punches when she realizes she has become someone she never intended to be. You will root for her as she questions whether or not she deserves what she wants most and turn every page to see if she can find the brilliant and knowing part of herself that was there all along.

[Marisa Russello · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved every moment of this book. The author, Kara, is laugh-out-loud funny and relatable in so many ways. When I began reading, I knew next to nothing about dance—now I know a little!—but it's such a good story that I couldn't put it down.

With all the challenges Kara faced as a dancer, I was shocked at how successful she became. This is a story of true grit and determination in the face of obstacles. To me, "putting my heels down" had a dual meaning. It wasn't just what her childhood dance teacher told her, Kara also put her heels down in refusing to give up.

Putting My Heels Down has exactly what I want in a memoir: a voicey narrator I can connect with, a good sense of humor, excellent storytelling, and a realistic ending. Brava, Kara!