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Permission to Mourn: Engaging with Culture, Story and Scripture is a Quest for Healing with Hope
Wouldn't it be nice if no one needed this book? A book about grief, pain and loss. But we do need it. Death, grief and loss touch all of us, at some point in life, just as they touch those we care the most about.
This book is an invitation to sit together and let some of that pain out. Hear from others who have experienced stillbirth, miscarriage, the loss of a friend due to suicide, the loss of a spouse, a mother, a child, a sibling, a father, a friend, a grandparent. Each loss touches in a different way.
Permission to Mourn is a safe space to sit, to process, to begin to heal because facing loss can be devastating, but maybe some of the burden of deep sorrow can be lifted if we sit together as we mourn.
This book is an invitation to sit together and let some of that pain out. Hear from others who have experienced stillbirth, miscarriage, the loss of a friend due to suicide, the loss of a spouse, a mother, a child, a sibling, a father, a friend, a grandparent. Each loss touches in a different way.
Permission to Mourn is a safe space to sit, to process, to begin to heal because facing loss can be devastating, but maybe some of the burden of deep sorrow can be lifted if we sit together as we mourn.
264 pages, Paperback
Published November 2, 2021
2 people are currently reading
17 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
May 6, 2024
I really recommend this book for anyone walking through grief. My dad passed away a couple months ago and this is the first thing I’ve read that really ministered to me in my loss - in both a practical and spiritual way. I loved the format of the book too - each chapter contained some writing from the author about grief/grief response, a personal grief story from another contributor and a Psalm. I found a lot to identify with in the stories of others and in the psalms. I think it helps to foster the idea of not being alone in our feelings of grief and loss.
March 25, 2022
Full disclosure: I only read this book because one of my friends wrote one of the grief essays. (In the Process of Becoming - heartbreakingly beautiful, Ann-Marie!) But I found myself encouraged by several other chapters as well...
I wanted to rate this higher because there really is SO MUCH good truth packed in here - and I especially enjoyed the chapters on fear, surviving trauma triggers, and how to grieve through lament. (Also, "The Strong One" essay left me WRECKED. So good.) Many deep spiritual truths, insightful cultural observations, and solid biblical advice scattered throughout that have stuck with me since finishing!
However... I found the book desperately needs a good editor in order to improve its readability. There were plenty of distracting typos, punctuation errors, and confusing typeface choices that made it very difficult for me to read at times and screamed "self-published." Some of author's personal stories were repetitive (I felt a bit of compassion fatigue from the myriad of losses she had either witnessed or experienced herself,) and the tale of her own loss seemed a little disjointed and out of order... She alludes throughout the book to losing her twin sister, but we don't actually know what happened until the very last chapter, which was too late to establish her as a reliable authority on grief - someone who the reader can relate to and trust as she shares her wisdom.
But I really think a lot of these problems could easily be solved with a strong editor who can cut through the repetition and fluff (and maybe a couple of the weaker essays) and help focus in on the essential wisdom Potinu has to share.
OVERALL: Great concept, even great truth, told from the perspective of someone who lives in a culture where grief and lament are more valued and supported - but the book felt extremely unfinished if it wants to really make the unique impact it really could have on Christian grief literature.
I wanted to rate this higher because there really is SO MUCH good truth packed in here - and I especially enjoyed the chapters on fear, surviving trauma triggers, and how to grieve through lament. (Also, "The Strong One" essay left me WRECKED. So good.) Many deep spiritual truths, insightful cultural observations, and solid biblical advice scattered throughout that have stuck with me since finishing!
However... I found the book desperately needs a good editor in order to improve its readability. There were plenty of distracting typos, punctuation errors, and confusing typeface choices that made it very difficult for me to read at times and screamed "self-published." Some of author's personal stories were repetitive (I felt a bit of compassion fatigue from the myriad of losses she had either witnessed or experienced herself,) and the tale of her own loss seemed a little disjointed and out of order... She alludes throughout the book to losing her twin sister, but we don't actually know what happened until the very last chapter, which was too late to establish her as a reliable authority on grief - someone who the reader can relate to and trust as she shares her wisdom.
But I really think a lot of these problems could easily be solved with a strong editor who can cut through the repetition and fluff (and maybe a couple of the weaker essays) and help focus in on the essential wisdom Potinu has to share.
OVERALL: Great concept, even great truth, told from the perspective of someone who lives in a culture where grief and lament are more valued and supported - but the book felt extremely unfinished if it wants to really make the unique impact it really could have on Christian grief literature.
January 9, 2023
This book isn’t typical book about grief. It doesn’t tell you how you should grieve, how to get past it, or how to work through your loss on your own strength. This book is like talking to a friend. Ruth encourages readers to resist the urge to rush through your feelings, and gives us permission to truly lament. These stories & scripture references create a solidarity between those who grieve- all while pointing to Jesus as the true hope through our hurt.
No one wants to read a book about grief. However, I would suggest reading this in small portions at a time as a devotional. Give yourself time to reflect and process. Give yourself time to mourn.
No one wants to read a book about grief. However, I would suggest reading this in small portions at a time as a devotional. Give yourself time to reflect and process. Give yourself time to mourn.
March 29, 2022
Ruth has great insight into mourning for those mourning and those attempting to comfort someone who has experienced a loss. The layout is unique in that after each chapter, there is a short excerpt from someone who has walked through grief and a Bible passage. It is helpful to see grief from different perspectives. I liked Ruth's soothing, gentle method of teaching. I felt like a friend was walking me through the process.
January 1, 2024
It may seem strange to start out the new year reading a book on grief, but I actually found it quite healing. While the grief I went through last year (moving away from home) was different than the grief of losing a loved one, it was still grief. And reading these stories brought me peace and perspective. And reminded me of my many, many blessings.
Ruth packed so much valuable practical advice about processing grief and finding healing into this book. I really appreciated the first-person narratives she included between each of the chapters. And I loved the perspective she brought in of how other cultures (particularly PNG culture) deal with loss and grief.
Our Western culture seeks to sweep loss and grief under the rug as soon as possible. It's not something you talk about. You move on. People are often uncomfortable with tears and sorrow. But what if that changed? What if we could make space for mourning, alongside life?
Our God is One who meets us in the sorrow, and He doesn't tell us to just "get over it." He sits with us in it. He mourns with us. And He comforts us through it.
I would highly recommend this book to any Christian who has or is experiencing grief.
(The only reason I gave it four stars was because of poor editing. But the content of this book is a hearty 5 stars!)
Ruth packed so much valuable practical advice about processing grief and finding healing into this book. I really appreciated the first-person narratives she included between each of the chapters. And I loved the perspective she brought in of how other cultures (particularly PNG culture) deal with loss and grief.
Our Western culture seeks to sweep loss and grief under the rug as soon as possible. It's not something you talk about. You move on. People are often uncomfortable with tears and sorrow. But what if that changed? What if we could make space for mourning, alongside life?
Our God is One who meets us in the sorrow, and He doesn't tell us to just "get over it." He sits with us in it. He mourns with us. And He comforts us through it.
I would highly recommend this book to any Christian who has or is experiencing grief.
(The only reason I gave it four stars was because of poor editing. But the content of this book is a hearty 5 stars!)
September 29, 2023
3.5 rounded to 3
Technically I wish the bios of the contributing authors had been included within their chapters. I couldn’t figure out how they were known by the author. As it was, the editing author wrote every other chapter, interspersed with a contributing author, and it took me a while to notice. I got confusing with storylines and “I thought she grew up in…” or “I thought her husband’s name was…”
This book was multiple testimonies of how people dealt with grief. There were aspects that didn’t quite land for me as I’ve approached my own grief work. It was a guide but felt a little “should”y. I did like that there was a missionary thread throughout, mostly due to the editing author’s life experiences. I thought at first the contributing authors were all missionaries too but they’re not.
My lingering questions after finishing the book are about why each contributing author was chosen/how they are know by or connected to the editing author.
Technically I wish the bios of the contributing authors had been included within their chapters. I couldn’t figure out how they were known by the author. As it was, the editing author wrote every other chapter, interspersed with a contributing author, and it took me a while to notice. I got confusing with storylines and “I thought she grew up in…” or “I thought her husband’s name was…”
This book was multiple testimonies of how people dealt with grief. There were aspects that didn’t quite land for me as I’ve approached my own grief work. It was a guide but felt a little “should”y. I did like that there was a missionary thread throughout, mostly due to the editing author’s life experiences. I thought at first the contributing authors were all missionaries too but they’re not.
My lingering questions after finishing the book are about why each contributing author was chosen/how they are know by or connected to the editing author.
August 7, 2025
Five stars for writers' vulnerability and my appreciation for this ♥️ Was a very touching read with enough stories for anyone who has lost anyone to be able to relate deeply to at least one (or many!) of them. I particularly appreciated Kristen Flores' story "Trigger Warning," as I have also lost a strong, supportive believer to suicide. It is a grief unlike any other and she described that grieving process in a way I never thought I would get to hear from someone else. ❤️🩹
Four stars for Ruth's chapters, so sorry but they got pretty repetitive and were fairly long-winded, by the end I was skimming them. I appreciate her putting this book together though, letting us hear from so many, and sharing her own journey!
Four stars for Ruth's chapters, so sorry but they got pretty repetitive and were fairly long-winded, by the end I was skimming them. I appreciate her putting this book together though, letting us hear from so many, and sharing her own journey!
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews