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Crazy: Reclaiming Life from the Shadow of Traumatic Memory
Can Lyn reclaim her sanity in the midst of chaos and confusion?
A happy wife and mother who loved nothing more than taking care of her brood, Lyn Barrett was knocked off course by a family crisis that triggered her inner world to crumble.
Her diagnosis of multiple personality disorder, now known as dissociative identity disorder, threatened her life as she knew it, her family, and her future.
With the knowledge that DID is a coping strategy young children use to protect themselves from chronic trauma, Lyn embarked on a journey to discover her true self.
A happy wife and mother who loved nothing more than taking care of her brood, Lyn Barrett was knocked off course by a family crisis that triggered her inner world to crumble.
Her diagnosis of multiple personality disorder, now known as dissociative identity disorder, threatened her life as she knew it, her family, and her future.
With the knowledge that DID is a coping strategy young children use to protect themselves from chronic trauma, Lyn embarked on a journey to discover her true self.
230 pages, Paperback
Published January 3, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
January 27, 2022
There is much debate in psychological and psychiatric studies surrounding traumatic memory recall and how the human brain functions and processes related PTSD symptoms. In: “Crazy: Reclaiming Life from The Shadow of Traumatic Memory” (2022) author Lyn Barrett recalls her life altering battle to reclaim her sanity, which nearly ended her life before she entered a psychiatric facility and began therapy to slowly understand and accept her fragmented personality and character.
“Cognitive memory is fluid; this is a true story…” is the first statement opening Barrett’s intriguing and fascinating memoir. By the time Barrett was in her late thirties she and her husband were a successful professional couple, he taught sociology at a college university level, and she was a teacher at a small private religious school. At times Barrett felt her life was “picture perfect”— the couple had three children, they also owned a charming multi-storied home located in a nice neighborhood near a Philadelphia, PA. suburb. As time passed, she was finding it difficult to accept that her husband was having affairs and was increasingly alarmed at her inner void of emptiness, lack of genuine emotional connection, and her inability to feel love for her children.
The storyline evolves over decades, as readers observe Barrett careening and crashing from what was considered a workable marriage to single motherhood. Her adulterous abusive former husband blamed all their problems on Barrett’s actions and psychological behaviors—rejecting his paternal duty and/or obligation to financially support and co- parent their children on any regular basis, and flatly refused any support of Barrett in her counseling/therapy process. Not surprisingly, their children failed to thrive and suffered a great deal of trouble and trauma (in several instances/events) as they matured. As a gifted popular teacher and later a school principal, Barrett excelled on a professional level with the purchase of her own home, eventually adding a greater level of stability in her family life.
Barrett was diagnosed with DID (dissociative identity disorder) aka Multiple Personality Disorder when she was 45. As Barrett studied the controversy surrounding the False Memory (Syndrome) Movement during the !990’s-- some therapists followed and promoted the ideology or practice related to accountability and confrontation of abusers, which led to additional individual and family trauma and scientific studies questioning psychological credibility of memory recall. Instead, Barrett recalled her (realistic) therapeutic focus centered around personality integration and management of emotional triggers and symptoms where alter character traits dominated her actions and behavior choices.
After Barrett retired, she has used her experience in education, administration, and theology as a facilitator of memoir writing studies and workshops helping others affected with dissociative disorders. Barrett has remarried, and lives with her husband in the Adirondack’s. **With thanks to Koehler Books via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
“Cognitive memory is fluid; this is a true story…” is the first statement opening Barrett’s intriguing and fascinating memoir. By the time Barrett was in her late thirties she and her husband were a successful professional couple, he taught sociology at a college university level, and she was a teacher at a small private religious school. At times Barrett felt her life was “picture perfect”— the couple had three children, they also owned a charming multi-storied home located in a nice neighborhood near a Philadelphia, PA. suburb. As time passed, she was finding it difficult to accept that her husband was having affairs and was increasingly alarmed at her inner void of emptiness, lack of genuine emotional connection, and her inability to feel love for her children.
The storyline evolves over decades, as readers observe Barrett careening and crashing from what was considered a workable marriage to single motherhood. Her adulterous abusive former husband blamed all their problems on Barrett’s actions and psychological behaviors—rejecting his paternal duty and/or obligation to financially support and co- parent their children on any regular basis, and flatly refused any support of Barrett in her counseling/therapy process. Not surprisingly, their children failed to thrive and suffered a great deal of trouble and trauma (in several instances/events) as they matured. As a gifted popular teacher and later a school principal, Barrett excelled on a professional level with the purchase of her own home, eventually adding a greater level of stability in her family life.
Barrett was diagnosed with DID (dissociative identity disorder) aka Multiple Personality Disorder when she was 45. As Barrett studied the controversy surrounding the False Memory (Syndrome) Movement during the !990’s-- some therapists followed and promoted the ideology or practice related to accountability and confrontation of abusers, which led to additional individual and family trauma and scientific studies questioning psychological credibility of memory recall. Instead, Barrett recalled her (realistic) therapeutic focus centered around personality integration and management of emotional triggers and symptoms where alter character traits dominated her actions and behavior choices.
After Barrett retired, she has used her experience in education, administration, and theology as a facilitator of memoir writing studies and workshops helping others affected with dissociative disorders. Barrett has remarried, and lives with her husband in the Adirondack’s. **With thanks to Koehler Books via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
May 24, 2022
It’s so rare to find books about DID, or at least I haven’t discovered many of them. This was told from Lyn’s perspective, and it was an enlightening deep dive into her psyche. It was an honest portrayal of how it is to live with different parts. It was well-written and easy to follow.
April 17, 2022
DID is a disorder I have a lot of experience with so I was a little hesitant to read this memoir. Barrett tells her story as a married mother and teacher who is diagnosed with DID (then called Multiple Personality Disorder) in the early 90's when she was in her 40's. It focuses quite a lot on her career, higher education and religious journey, slightly less so on her mothering of her children, her time in therapy and in mental hospitals, and her crumbling marriage and divorce.
I do find her a bit of an unreliable narrator, not because of her DID but because I can't help but think she's leaving things out when it comes to her ex-husband who comes across as 100% villain and there is just zero resolution about what could have happened to her in her childhood and by whom. There are bizarre flashes that don't make sense and she tells of reasons to hate her controlling, sexist father like he beat her with a hairbrush once and he was definitely a terrible jerk but nothing to suggest the kind of trauma that causes this level of dissociation. Then towards the end of the book she seems to suggest that her father or someone else took her to sell her to multiple people for abuse when she was a toddler but then she sort of suggests that those flashes don't necessarily represent real memories but symbolism? So much doesn't make sense, it's like reading a mystery where it just ends with "we guess we'll never know but that's fine." She also writes from the perspective that integration is the goal and that now she is "fixed" because she's integrated. Not all who have DID would agree with that. It feels very much like the thinking back in the 90's about DID, and like one person's experience. This is not necessarily *the* experience of what it's like to live with DID, but it is a good memoir of an older woman's life at a very difficult couple of decades in it.
Note that her definition of integrated is not that all alters become one and share memories, but rather that she as host got to basically take over and the rest mostly went away. She said in an interview elsewhere, "I didn’t do anything special to integrate my alters. As my other symptoms of abuse began to heal, I talked with my alters about the possibility of integrating but, frankly, I didn’t really know what that meant. One day while on vacation, I realized I was one. They had done it on their own without talking to me about it. Integration doesn’t mean my alters aren’t still there. According to the theory of structural dissociation, they will always be there because that’s the way my brain developed as a very young child in response to chronic abuse. In fact, one or the other still comes out and lets me know their opinion or feelings every now and again, but mostly, they trust me to handle life. They decided that life as one would be more effective and pleasurable than life as many." Again, this is one person's perception of the definitions of integration and healing.
All in all, it's a well written memoir though it leaves the reader with more questions than answers. Life is like that, too, most of the time.
I read a digital ARC of this book for review.
I do find her a bit of an unreliable narrator, not because of her DID but because I can't help but think she's leaving things out when it comes to her ex-husband who comes across as 100% villain and there is just zero resolution about what could have happened to her in her childhood and by whom. There are bizarre flashes that don't make sense and she tells of reasons to hate her controlling, sexist father like he beat her with a hairbrush once and he was definitely a terrible jerk but nothing to suggest the kind of trauma that causes this level of dissociation. Then towards the end of the book she seems to suggest that her father or someone else took her to sell her to multiple people for abuse when she was a toddler but then she sort of suggests that those flashes don't necessarily represent real memories but symbolism? So much doesn't make sense, it's like reading a mystery where it just ends with "we guess we'll never know but that's fine." She also writes from the perspective that integration is the goal and that now she is "fixed" because she's integrated. Not all who have DID would agree with that. It feels very much like the thinking back in the 90's about DID, and like one person's experience. This is not necessarily *the* experience of what it's like to live with DID, but it is a good memoir of an older woman's life at a very difficult couple of decades in it.
Note that her definition of integrated is not that all alters become one and share memories, but rather that she as host got to basically take over and the rest mostly went away. She said in an interview elsewhere, "I didn’t do anything special to integrate my alters. As my other symptoms of abuse began to heal, I talked with my alters about the possibility of integrating but, frankly, I didn’t really know what that meant. One day while on vacation, I realized I was one. They had done it on their own without talking to me about it. Integration doesn’t mean my alters aren’t still there. According to the theory of structural dissociation, they will always be there because that’s the way my brain developed as a very young child in response to chronic abuse. In fact, one or the other still comes out and lets me know their opinion or feelings every now and again, but mostly, they trust me to handle life. They decided that life as one would be more effective and pleasurable than life as many." Again, this is one person's perception of the definitions of integration and healing.
All in all, it's a well written memoir though it leaves the reader with more questions than answers. Life is like that, too, most of the time.
I read a digital ARC of this book for review.
March 1, 2022
This was excellent! As a psych nurse, it feels like we have to combat so much misinformation about aspects of mental health and fight the prejudice around it. This book gives a perspective that corrects so much of those issues. I would highly recommend this book! It is a compelling read.
January 4, 2022
"Crazy is a highly readable and relatable account of the at times crazy-making experience of living with DID. We learn that Lyn's lack of concrete trauma memories in no way reflect her remarkable ability to heal. Crazy is a much-needed story of resilience and hope for myself and other survivors living with DID.” -Emerald System
January 4, 2022
Lyn’s story is an amazing example of the resilience and strength of the human spirit and an accurate depiction of dissociative identity disorder. It was refreshing to read something that describes the conflict and chaos that this response to trauma can cause unlike what the movies have done for those who have DID. Her style of writing uses an ever-lively mix of well written and articulated interactions laced and interspersed with her journaling in italics to weave the reader into her outer and inner world simultaneously like a symphony. Readers will love hearing how her outer, picturesque Norman Rockwell family came crashing down to include the realities of her inner world, knowing the truth not only of her husband’s 2 year affair, but also her inner world that was every bit as much a secret to her.
Lyn is very effective in showing how trauma memory is more accurate than recall and shows how the mind uses denial both while she is realizing that there were signs all along that her husband was having affairs long before he admitted to it as well as the trauma that she had completely repressed.
This is a brilliant illustration of a person going from an atheist who doesn’t believe that God exists to hearing the words sung by an 11 year old boy bringing to life the knowledge that someone has inside of her that not only does God exist but that He loves her. While her marriage and outer world is falling apart, and her inner turmoil feels like she is going crazy and unraveling at the seams, she is actually experiencing her faith blossoming as she reconnects with both God and herself probably for the first time in her life. What feels like craziness is actually the process of recovery, the beautiful portrayal of the miracle of the dissociative response coming together in a synopsis of the marvelous power of the brain. This God-given way to cope with trauma helps a person be able to survive the unsurvivable. I loved how human this makes a person who dissociates instead of the psychotic depiction that Hollywood often paints. This is an amazing example of a person connecting with her alters/parts that held the trauma and a beautiful coming together and reconnecting and integration as she heals.
This book is well written and is a beautiful representation of the miracle of dissociation, the coping mechanism that God placed within the brain.
You will feel like you walk into her world on her journey from numbness to fullness. I was so touched by the inner strumming of her heart that was being plucked on my heart strings as she connects with her inner people and the God who created her.
Lyn is very effective in showing how trauma memory is more accurate than recall and shows how the mind uses denial both while she is realizing that there were signs all along that her husband was having affairs long before he admitted to it as well as the trauma that she had completely repressed.
This is a brilliant illustration of a person going from an atheist who doesn’t believe that God exists to hearing the words sung by an 11 year old boy bringing to life the knowledge that someone has inside of her that not only does God exist but that He loves her. While her marriage and outer world is falling apart, and her inner turmoil feels like she is going crazy and unraveling at the seams, she is actually experiencing her faith blossoming as she reconnects with both God and herself probably for the first time in her life. What feels like craziness is actually the process of recovery, the beautiful portrayal of the miracle of the dissociative response coming together in a synopsis of the marvelous power of the brain. This God-given way to cope with trauma helps a person be able to survive the unsurvivable. I loved how human this makes a person who dissociates instead of the psychotic depiction that Hollywood often paints. This is an amazing example of a person connecting with her alters/parts that held the trauma and a beautiful coming together and reconnecting and integration as she heals.
This book is well written and is a beautiful representation of the miracle of dissociation, the coping mechanism that God placed within the brain.
You will feel like you walk into her world on her journey from numbness to fullness. I was so touched by the inner strumming of her heart that was being plucked on my heart strings as she connects with her inner people and the God who created her.
December 17, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley for this digital ARC in exchange for an honest review!
Wow. This was incredibly fascinating on every level.
Lyn Barrett begins her memoir in her early, "normal" adulthood: girl meets boy, they fall in love, they have children. But, when she realizes that her husband was cheating on her, Lyn’s mental health begins to unravel. A shell of the person and mother she once was, Lyn discovers through years of therapy and support that she suffers from dissociative identity disorder, or what was known at the time as multiple personality disorder, a symptom of severe trauma. Lyn takes us through her experiences of ultimate self realization and trauma healing in a memoir that is both very personal and educational.
I truly appreciated everything about this. It was gripping from the very start, particularly when she went into detail about how she went about healing each of her alters.
Obviously, I recommend assessing your own nervous system going in. As someone who has a lot more capacity these days, I still found quite a bit triggering. However, she still does not remember big details from her trauma, which is common.
I definitely recommend this one for anyone interested in mental health and my fellow trauma nerds.
Wow. This was incredibly fascinating on every level.
Lyn Barrett begins her memoir in her early, "normal" adulthood: girl meets boy, they fall in love, they have children. But, when she realizes that her husband was cheating on her, Lyn’s mental health begins to unravel. A shell of the person and mother she once was, Lyn discovers through years of therapy and support that she suffers from dissociative identity disorder, or what was known at the time as multiple personality disorder, a symptom of severe trauma. Lyn takes us through her experiences of ultimate self realization and trauma healing in a memoir that is both very personal and educational.
I truly appreciated everything about this. It was gripping from the very start, particularly when she went into detail about how she went about healing each of her alters.
Obviously, I recommend assessing your own nervous system going in. As someone who has a lot more capacity these days, I still found quite a bit triggering. However, she still does not remember big details from her trauma, which is common.
I definitely recommend this one for anyone interested in mental health and my fellow trauma nerds.
December 29, 2021
Barrett's memoir reflecting on her process of discovering that she has Dissociative Identify Disorder and beginning therapy to address it is written in a way that puts you right in her mind with her. Her ability to do this allows readers to somewhat experience the uncomfortable nature of not feeling in control of one's self. Barrett included various aspects of her life, from parenting to working, with her mental illness and I really appreciated that she demonstrated that, even with severe mental illness, individuals can still be successful in areas of their lives, even when they feel everything else is a failure. I also appreciated that Barrett covered her entire process, from first feeling like she was "losing her sanity" to finding success through therapy in addressing her mental illness. Finally, for those looking to read this book who suffer with a history of trauma, Barrett doesn't specifically recall her trauma in clear memories. There are a couple scenes that break through for her that give a vague glimpse into the type of trauma she may have experienced, but she never fully describes her trauma history. I know this may be important for those who have specific triggers to be aware of ahead of time.
April 10, 2022
As someone with a psychology degree, it if often with annoyance that I put down a book due to misinformation, stigmatization, or stereotyping of a certain disorder or illness. I am glad to say that Lyn Barrett's book is the complete opposite
Crazy is a memoir that was surprisingly very well written for a debut novel. Lyn ties in journal entires that she had written during these events as she goes through her journey of being a mother, going through divorce, and her mental health. It was a journey that guided you through Lyn's very thoughts and created an understanding of how trauma can become translated into different emotions, years after the trauma has happened. Lyn's struggles with Dissociate Identity Disorder were very interesting to see and easy to follow throughout the book.
I commend Lyn for writing a memoir with such a heavy topic involved. I would recommend this to anyone who has misinformation about DID or is wanting to learn more and see what a person thinks/feels as they go through the disorder.
Side Note: Lyn's ex-husband is such a d*ck. Hated him from the start. :P
For more book reviews, check out my instagram @book.dreams.and.schemes
Crazy is a memoir that was surprisingly very well written for a debut novel. Lyn ties in journal entires that she had written during these events as she goes through her journey of being a mother, going through divorce, and her mental health. It was a journey that guided you through Lyn's very thoughts and created an understanding of how trauma can become translated into different emotions, years after the trauma has happened. Lyn's struggles with Dissociate Identity Disorder were very interesting to see and easy to follow throughout the book.
I commend Lyn for writing a memoir with such a heavy topic involved. I would recommend this to anyone who has misinformation about DID or is wanting to learn more and see what a person thinks/feels as they go through the disorder.
Side Note: Lyn's ex-husband is such a d*ck. Hated him from the start. :P
For more book reviews, check out my instagram @book.dreams.and.schemes
November 27, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Dissociative Identify Disorder is a fascinating psychological disorder. This author's experience with meeting and learning about her multiples is an eye opening read. The therapist she meets with to unravel the tangled web of who she really is, did an amazing job helping her understand her multiples.
Dissociative Identify Disorder is a fascinating psychological disorder. This author's experience with meeting and learning about her multiples is an eye opening read. The therapist she meets with to unravel the tangled web of who she really is, did an amazing job helping her understand her multiples.
January 11, 2022
Crazy Good
Writing about DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) is challenging. Writing a personal perspective is courageous.
Lyn Barrett takes readers through her journey of discovery as she struggles with the effects of trauma she doesn't remember. Her memoir is encouraging and hopeful, even though she describes ongoing pain for years, broken relationships and much self doubt.
Her work is helpful for those who share her diagnosis and for the clinicians who are brave enough to walk beside the faces of traumatic memories.
Writing about DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) is challenging. Writing a personal perspective is courageous.
Lyn Barrett takes readers through her journey of discovery as she struggles with the effects of trauma she doesn't remember. Her memoir is encouraging and hopeful, even though she describes ongoing pain for years, broken relationships and much self doubt.
Her work is helpful for those who share her diagnosis and for the clinicians who are brave enough to walk beside the faces of traumatic memories.
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