Mail-Order Family

by Irina VanPatten

The witty and charming Mail-Order Family, the Silver Award Winner at the Spring 2022 BookFest in category True Stories & Memoir, is a story about family resilience unlike any others. Life challenges addressed with sharp but tender sense of humor and heart, that culminates in an unlikely love story between two misfits literarily two worlds apart. Irina, a spunky divorcée with two young children, is trying to build a new life on the ruins of the collapsed Soviet empire. When her world around her is turned upside down in a small Eastern European country of Moldova, Irina desperately looks for a way out. By chance, she finds out about online dating and discovers a world that is nothing like she expected. Hilarity is assured as she tries to sort out the good men from the bad with her own family constantly in her way, My Big Fat Greek Wedding style. Finally, she captures the heart of an American named David. East eventually meets West, and worlds collide as the unconventional American tries to fit in with Irina’s family, and Irina discovers that David is far from a charming prince. Mail-Order Family takes you to unexpected places, with lots of twists and turns but with a never-give-up attitude, and keeps you on the edge of your seat while going with Irina on her wild journey to get to America.

498 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2021

About the author

Irina VanPatten is an American Pacific Northwest writer with Eastern European roots. Her writing style marries the best of these two worlds. She draws from the rich roots of her culture but bakes her own American literary cake with a blended sense of humor: sharp yet warm; edgy yet tender. She brings her perspective of past life experiences from behind the Iron Curtain, creating a unique blend of East versus West points of view in her writing.

She is the author of Mail-Order Family, which is a charming and relatable tribute to her family’s resilience and a heartfelt love story about two misfits.

She also writes about serious, timeless subjects. She is the author of the book Welcome to America, Welcome Home, which is based on multiple interviews with American immigrants of different backgrounds and cultures. Experts, lawyers, professors, activists, refugees, and asylum seekers share their personal stories and reveal the hardships of those who try to assimilate and succeed in America.
Irina is a contributor to a short story collection about love called From Lullaby to Love Songs and Funeral Dirges. Her story “I Love You Russian Style” explores the misconceptions of love in different cultures in a heartwarming, funny way. Her other passion is writing for the English-Romanian language magazine Hora in America, which focuses on stories from her community.

She volunteers as a translator for the Northwest Immigration Rights Project, collaborating with the division that takes on cases under the Violence Against Women Act.

Reviews

[David A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book! Irina is an indomitable spirit, and her story is inspiring. This memoir is beautifully written, and besides telling the story of a woman determined to make a better life for her and her children, offers a fascinating glimpse into the culture and struggles of post - Soviet Moldova, a tiny country wedged between Ukraine and Romania. My only complaint is that the book ended too soon. I became completely attached to Irina's warm and tough family. I can't wait to see what happens next when Irina Van Patten's next book comes out.

[Violeta Chirila · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading Mail-Order Family by Irina VanPatten. As a Moldovan, I could easily relate. It was like a flashback, I lived almost similar events. I remembered my youth, the poverty, and the shortcomings we all had. In post-Soviet countries, such as Moldova, it was very difficult to survive, especially if you were a single mother with two small children.

The story is very fascinating, with a good and subtle sense of humor. I read it in one breath. The book keeps you in suspense throughout the reading. I laughed and cried with the main character, hoping she would finally get rid of all the problems and would achieve the American dream. I would love to read the sequel to Irina’s story. I definitely recommend this book to everyone.

[Toni Kief · Rating 5 out of 5]

I went to an Everett, Washington book and author event and was lucky to meet the author and get her book. What a stunning story of families (yes I mean plural), courage and joy. Irina VanPatten is an amazing author and person. Don't miss this enlightening read.

[Ashley Schuster · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolutely delightful memoir of a mom’s resiliency and persistence to improve the future for her kids and for herself.

I met this local author last year at Bremerton’s Blackberry festival while going on a “local author book buying binge” at the festival. I actually wasn’t going to buy her book because by the time I got to her I had spent a lot of money. But she was very convincing and asked me to leave a review on Amazon. In my head I thought to myself “well if it’s good, I will, but if it’s not, I just won’t write a review.” Fast forward nearly a year later, and I’m finally resuming my efforts to chip away at my “to be read” pile. This book finally was on deck to be read!

And holy shit, this woman has been through hell and back. She had to jump through EVERY hoop to get herself and her kids to America after meeting her fiancé through an online dating service while living in her homeland, Moldova. Everytime it seemed she was an inch closer to completing her immigration package, it seemed like she hit another roadblock she’d have to navigate around. And the roadblocks never stopped even after getting visas for her kids and herself…she was still almost turned away at customs while trying to leave the airport. I couldn’t believe that in Moldova a grown woman in her 30s would need a parent’s permission to leave the country!

Life in Moldova sounded very very difficult and completely different than the life I’ve experience in my 30-some years of living. I think the only thing the author and myself have in common is that we’ve both recovered from a broken bone without the use of prescription pain killers being prescribed to us. Other than that, this woman’s life and journey was far more challenging than my own could ever be. I couldn’t believe that the hospitals in Moldova constantly run out of IVs, so if you need one as her son did during an emergency, they write you a prescription that you have fill at a local pharmacy and then you bring the IV back with you to the ER. Can you imagine taking your 9 yr old kid to the ER and the ER being like “he desperately needs fluids, but we don’t have any IVs, here’s a prescription for one IV bag, go fill it at the local Walgreens and come back.” I have so much love and admiration for the author.

As far as the American dude she met online, I have to laugh! She met the most stereotypical American male: white, obese, diabetic and missing half a foot, and had just endured a stroke. He flew out to visit the author and the kids in Moldova and complained about just about everything under the sky while in Moldova. How she never snapped at him is beyond me. The Western Union incident would have probably been my last straw. But I get it, gotta think of the end goal: America. Every time he complained about having to walk a few city blocks (instead of taking a taxi) I thought to myself, “if he can’t walk a few blocks, how is he going to perform in bed?!!!” Nevertheless, the author had the patience of a saint and her kids loved him.

I’m really hoping there’s a sequel in the works and the ending of the books eludes to. This book ends shortly after the author’s and her kids’ arrival in the US so we don’t get to hear how her life “began again” once in America. Oh, I also thought the family photos at the end of the book were a really neat, personal touch.

Great job, momma!

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you liked "Angela's Ashes" by Frank McCort then I think you'll like this book. I saw a local author book stall at the Kingston Farmer's Market so, I decided to browse for any familiar titles. Nothing looked familiar so I was about to walk away when one of the authors explained that this was her memoir about being a mail order bride from a small eastern block country after the fall of the Soviet Union. I'm so glad she took the time to speak with me because I love memoirs and this is an interesting read. Her writing style gives you a strong feel for her personality and I was definitely rooting for her romance and emigration to go smoothly. The picture she paints of Moldova is grim. There's so much crime, corruption, and poverty. But this isn't a sad book because she's smart and she's determined to make a better life for herself and her kids. I can't wait for her next book! I'd love to find out how things turned out after she arrived in Washington state. It has a sort of cliff hanger ending.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Irina puts a humorous spin on a serious situation. I thoroughly enjoyed this book.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a compelling and fascinating read. It has given me a lot to think about. The book ends when they arrive in Seattle, so there is still a lot of the story we don’t know. I hope that Irina and her children built a safe and happy life in the US, and also that David learned to appreciate her culture and to better consider other people’s needs and perspectives overall. I look forward to reading the sequel one day and finding out!

Thank you, Irina, for sharing your family’s story with us.

[Bobbie Kaald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Knowing the author made this a poignant story, even more than she wrote it. I really appreciate America more now. I understood the airport issues having flown to Frankfort with a four year old, four suitcases and a carry on. I now find that I also know her brother-in-law. Well written brave Irina.

[Louise Wardell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I meet Irina at a street fair and bought her book. What a story she has to tell. She is a very strong woman to what she did.