What do you think?
Rate this book
Dazed #1
Anesthetic
Ainsley Sinclair had everything going for her in life.
The perfect family. The perfect grades. The perfect life.
At least, that was how it looked from the outside.
No one saw what Ainsley’s family was going through.
No one saw what it was doing to her.
She was spiraling down a road paved with drugs and self-destruction.
No one saw her, but him and he wanted to ruin her.
Killian Stone was out for blood.
And Ainsley was ready to bleed.
The perfect family. The perfect grades. The perfect life.
At least, that was how it looked from the outside.
No one saw what Ainsley’s family was going through.
No one saw what it was doing to her.
She was spiraling down a road paved with drugs and self-destruction.
No one saw her, but him and he wanted to ruin her.
Killian Stone was out for blood.
And Ainsley was ready to bleed.
322 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 11, 2021
About the author
C.M. Radcliff
27 books1,018 followersC.M. Radcliff writes dark, toxic romance with a touch of suspense. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two kids. If she isn't reading or writing, she's probably on a little adventure with her family.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 132 reviews
December 3, 2021
ANESTHETIC: is the first full length romance book in the series 'Dazed', by C.M. Radcliff. Spoken in 'Dual Perspectives.'
Like the previous series dealing with addiction like an addict this was inhaled and I can't wait for the next book in this series as this does end on a cliffy leaving me gasping for more.
In places it was a bit choppy, and the ending felt a wee bit too rushed and if I'm being honest I found it extremely hard connecting with our heroine Ainsley, so I'm hoping with the next book we delve more into her character because Ainsley was always generally high, from morning to night she was chasing that dragon. Onto our hero Killian, he had so many layers to him, and like an onion shredding its outer layer and seeing what was within made it easier to connect with him..
Their relationship doesn't make sense, it's a battlefield of angst and toxic waste as the drugs take ahold of them, making their journey unpredictable and messy.
These two are as different as chalk and cheese, she was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and he was shunted around one foster home to the next since he was fourteen years old due to his mother being incarcerated for cooking meth in the apartment they lived in, now as his last resort he's placed in Ainsley's home until graduation. Seeing how the rich lived was an eye opener for him, seeing how much they took for granted when all his belongings could fit in a bag or two.
Did Not Finish
November 16, 2021dnf’d at 16%.. white girl goes to get dreadlocks and i just can’t get down with the writing
November 8, 2021
This author has wrote some of my favorite books EVER! I had a feeling that this one would be included in that list and I wasn't wrong. This story is powerful - in the feels, in the despair, in the heartache, in the love, in the hope, in the light and in the dark. It's raw and real. It deals with something that could be a trigger for some so please look into those before diving in. This read packs a punch.
Ainsley. Wow, that girl broke my heart. She was living in a home with her parents, but she would have been better off on her own. They were too absorbed in their own lives to see what was happening under their own roof with their daughter. She was spiraling and no one worthwhile was there to catch her. The only ones there were those trying to use her for their own desires. She kept sinking deeper and deeper into her addiction.
One day at school, she runs into a boy that takes her breath away. She is perplexed by him and can sense the hurt and darkness in him that also flows in her own veins like a lifeline. It's short and abrupt, but it was her biggest highlight. The boy didn't give her much in return.. was stoic and pretty pissed off at the whole world. He did give her a morsel and shared his name - 𝑲𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒏
He was silently enamored by her as well, just didn't let on.
Come to find out that Killian is her new foster brother. She instantly takes offense to him. Her parents can't even care for her, how are they going to help this loss cause.
Killian's version of the girl disappeared the moment that Ainsley walked into her home. She's not like him. A nobody that has to fight to live. Someone broken and lost. She's just like all the other rich kids he's ever met. For that and that alone, he will make her life miserable. He will help pass his time living under roof by making her hurt just like he has time and time again.
These two have insane chemistry, but the angst gave my heart a workout. They were SO hot with each other, but played into the game to a fault and that could very well be their demise. It won't be healthy or sweet, but it will be their own.
Gah, that ending! I'm not even sure that I want to know. It could very well decimate my heart into a million pieces!!!
*ARC generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review*
Ainsley. Wow, that girl broke my heart. She was living in a home with her parents, but she would have been better off on her own. They were too absorbed in their own lives to see what was happening under their own roof with their daughter. She was spiraling and no one worthwhile was there to catch her. The only ones there were those trying to use her for their own desires. She kept sinking deeper and deeper into her addiction.
One day at school, she runs into a boy that takes her breath away. She is perplexed by him and can sense the hurt and darkness in him that also flows in her own veins like a lifeline. It's short and abrupt, but it was her biggest highlight. The boy didn't give her much in return.. was stoic and pretty pissed off at the whole world. He did give her a morsel and shared his name - 𝑲𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒏
He was silently enamored by her as well, just didn't let on.
Come to find out that Killian is her new foster brother. She instantly takes offense to him. Her parents can't even care for her, how are they going to help this loss cause.
Killian's version of the girl disappeared the moment that Ainsley walked into her home. She's not like him. A nobody that has to fight to live. Someone broken and lost. She's just like all the other rich kids he's ever met. For that and that alone, he will make her life miserable. He will help pass his time living under roof by making her hurt just like he has time and time again.
These two have insane chemistry, but the angst gave my heart a workout. They were SO hot with each other, but played into the game to a fault and that could very well be their demise. It won't be healthy or sweet, but it will be their own.
Gah, that ending! I'm not even sure that I want to know. It could very well decimate my heart into a million pieces!!!
*ARC generously provided by the author in exchange for an honest review*
November 12, 2021
***4,5 "It's time to fly, babe!!!" stars***
OUT NOW!
"I'm sick and this is the only cure.
How the hell did I get here?"
Another one painful journey by C.M. Radcliff's pen...
Another one sad reminder of a world full of drugs and false promises of freedom...
Another one broken love story between two very different people...
Another one heartwrecking ride that will have you sitting on pins and needles anticipating what will happen next while you are closing tight your eyes in hopes that you can avoid the wreckage that you are seeing coming with force on your way!!!
"I'm officially fucked. Consumed. Addicted.
After one taste, I know that this won't be the last."
Cali knows her way on the drug infused world...
She knows really well how to create broken heroes who they own you, even though you want to slap them for their bad decisions that have the ability to destroy their lives...
I met Killian and Ainsley before and I was craving to witness their journey together....
And what a journey was that!!! Full of false hopes and broken lives!!!
A journey that brought so much sadness inside of me!!! And still.. I'm not capable to stay away from these two. I just need more, even though they have the power to destroy me!!!!
"My life is slowly falling apart and there is nothing that I can do to stop it from happening. The only thing that I can do is run from it. And the only way I can run is if I am high."
Killian came into Ainsley's life unexpectendly... As her foster brother...
There was an instant connection between them, but she showed him that she was just like all the others vultures that were surrounding them and he vow to wreck her...
But was his assumptions right about her???
As he gets to know her better, he is realizing that she is just a broken girl who just wants to escape reality... As he wants!!!
"Show me who you really are."
"You wouldn't like the real me... I'm a fucking mess."
"It's a good thing that I like messes, then."
These two were so effortless together.... They were just perfect for each other, even though their worlds were miles apart...
They had just one thing in common... They were both broken beyond repair...
But is this a reason for them to be together???
Can two broken souls heal each other or they are bound to bring destruction on each other's life???
"I could get lost in this girl and right now, I'm ready to fall down that fucking rabbit hole."
My first powerful dose of drug addiction came with the "IN VEINS" series by Mrs. Radcliff!!! It broke me while it healed me... It made me go down the rabbit hole in an unknown world to me and to see from inside what a drug addiction will do to one person and to his loved ones...
In here, we have a similar experience which broke my heart over and over again...
I'm so scared to jump to the next book!!! I'm so scared to witness Killian and Ainsley's demise...
I'm so scared to witness the beautiful broken mess that they will create....
But I know that these two belong together no matter what... So I will wear my big girl pants and I will go for it!!!! Do the same!!! I dare you!!!
"It will never be him and I against the world.
This isn't a fairy tale... the world will always be against us."
***An ARC was generously provided for the exchange of an honest review**
OUT NOW!
"I'm sick and this is the only cure.
How the hell did I get here?"
Another one painful journey by C.M. Radcliff's pen...
Another one sad reminder of a world full of drugs and false promises of freedom...
Another one broken love story between two very different people...
Another one heartwrecking ride that will have you sitting on pins and needles anticipating what will happen next while you are closing tight your eyes in hopes that you can avoid the wreckage that you are seeing coming with force on your way!!!
"I'm officially fucked. Consumed. Addicted.
After one taste, I know that this won't be the last."
Cali knows her way on the drug infused world...
She knows really well how to create broken heroes who they own you, even though you want to slap them for their bad decisions that have the ability to destroy their lives...
I met Killian and Ainsley before and I was craving to witness their journey together....
And what a journey was that!!! Full of false hopes and broken lives!!!
A journey that brought so much sadness inside of me!!! And still.. I'm not capable to stay away from these two. I just need more, even though they have the power to destroy me!!!!
"My life is slowly falling apart and there is nothing that I can do to stop it from happening. The only thing that I can do is run from it. And the only way I can run is if I am high."
Killian came into Ainsley's life unexpectendly... As her foster brother...
There was an instant connection between them, but she showed him that she was just like all the others vultures that were surrounding them and he vow to wreck her...
But was his assumptions right about her???
As he gets to know her better, he is realizing that she is just a broken girl who just wants to escape reality... As he wants!!!
"Show me who you really are."
"You wouldn't like the real me... I'm a fucking mess."
"It's a good thing that I like messes, then."
These two were so effortless together.... They were just perfect for each other, even though their worlds were miles apart...
They had just one thing in common... They were both broken beyond repair...
But is this a reason for them to be together???
Can two broken souls heal each other or they are bound to bring destruction on each other's life???
"I could get lost in this girl and right now, I'm ready to fall down that fucking rabbit hole."
My first powerful dose of drug addiction came with the "IN VEINS" series by Mrs. Radcliff!!! It broke me while it healed me... It made me go down the rabbit hole in an unknown world to me and to see from inside what a drug addiction will do to one person and to his loved ones...
In here, we have a similar experience which broke my heart over and over again...
I'm so scared to jump to the next book!!! I'm so scared to witness Killian and Ainsley's demise...
I'm so scared to witness the beautiful broken mess that they will create....
But I know that these two belong together no matter what... So I will wear my big girl pants and I will go for it!!!! Do the same!!! I dare you!!!
"It will never be him and I against the world.
This isn't a fairy tale... the world will always be against us."
***An ARC was generously provided for the exchange of an honest review**
November 14, 2021
You guys when I say this book was good holy shit balls I mean it blew my mind ! This book takes you back to your high school years the feelings the angst the emotions C.M. Radcliff penned a beautiful toxic story about a couple that fall in love with each other it’s the toxic possessive obsessed kind of love. Ainsley and Killian are both drowning in their misery and pain they are both dealing with addiction and they both need each other desperately to stay afloat but they are so damn stubborn and hardheaded I just want to smack them both and that ending OMG yes it does end on a cliffhanger and I may have threw my kindle across the room because JC how am I supposed to go on till the next book!!! This is another amazing must read by this author and I highly recommend!
*I voluntarily reviewed an advanced complimentary copy of this book *
*I voluntarily reviewed an advanced complimentary copy of this book *
November 14, 2021
⭐️4 dazing stars ⭐️
~𝑾𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔~
Killian and Ainsley’s story is definitely a tormented affair and this author knows how to paint a heart wrenching tale.
Drugs is one complicated topic to deal with, it takes some extra kind of care to approach it, if you decide to step into this daze induced world you can be safe in the knowledge that Ms Radcliff knows what she’s doing.
This is the first book of this series and we are shown the very beginning and the background both characters come from. Behind each person there is different story, everyone has one or more monsters to face, where you come from doesn’t matter, if your mind is in a dark place you are condemned. Choosing how to lose yourself, however, can lead to a destructive path, once you realise how far down the rabbit hole you have gone coming back up can be one hell of a hard climb.
~𝑰'𝒎 𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅. 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒆𝒅. 𝑨𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅. 𝑨𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒏'𝒕𝒆 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕~
We get a glimpse of what Killian and Ainsley will have to face and I can already tell this journey is going to be painful, moving towards the ugly crying road. Bring on the pain Ms Radcliff, I’m ready 🖤
★★★ 𝔸ℝℂ 𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕚𝕟 𝕖𝕩𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕒𝕟 𝕙𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨 ★★★
April 25, 2022
e-book 📱: 5 🌟
FIVE ANESTHETIC STARS for Ainsley and Killian 💖💚💖💚!!!
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
This is the first book I've read from C.M. Radcliff and I can say that the book surprised me in all aspects.
I decided to read this book because at first glance I was attracted by the cover (I know, it's a total cliché), and after reading the blurb I was completely aroused by the curiosity to read the whole book.
I have to admit that I had certain expectations when I started reading this book because this is the genre and trope that I read the most so some things are always. the same, but that wasn't the case in this book.
"Anesthetic" is a dark high school romance with enemies to lovers trope and also much more.
Ainsley is a female character who stands out from the typical innocent protagonist who falls for a bad boy's charm.
She is going through a difficult period in her life and her only goal is to suppress her feelings with the help of her addiction.
Killian, on the other hand, is at first glance a typical troubled teenager whose life has been difficult from an early age, but when he gets the chance for a better life he is ready to take it.
What neither of them is ready for is that their meeting and then living together will change everything.
But this is not a typical story I've had the opportunity to read countless times.
Their story is about addiction, but also about whether is there a way to change for the person who gave us meaning by entering life, and yet is it possible to have a relationship that everyone is against?
I have to mention that some parts were quite hard for me to read because my heart was breaking because of everything that the two protagonists went through and I truly hope that at the end of this trilogy the two of them will get a happy ending.
If you are open-minded and want books to surprise you, then it is time to give this book a chance!!!
Highly recommended!!!
FIVE ANESTHETIC STARS for Ainsley and Killian 💖💚💖💚!!!
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
This is the first book I've read from C.M. Radcliff and I can say that the book surprised me in all aspects.
I decided to read this book because at first glance I was attracted by the cover (I know, it's a total cliché), and after reading the blurb I was completely aroused by the curiosity to read the whole book.
I have to admit that I had certain expectations when I started reading this book because this is the genre and trope that I read the most so some things are always. the same, but that wasn't the case in this book.
"Anesthetic" is a dark high school romance with enemies to lovers trope and also much more.
Ainsley is a female character who stands out from the typical innocent protagonist who falls for a bad boy's charm.
She is going through a difficult period in her life and her only goal is to suppress her feelings with the help of her addiction.
Killian, on the other hand, is at first glance a typical troubled teenager whose life has been difficult from an early age, but when he gets the chance for a better life he is ready to take it.
What neither of them is ready for is that their meeting and then living together will change everything.
But this is not a typical story I've had the opportunity to read countless times.
Their story is about addiction, but also about whether is there a way to change for the person who gave us meaning by entering life, and yet is it possible to have a relationship that everyone is against?
I have to mention that some parts were quite hard for me to read because my heart was breaking because of everything that the two protagonists went through and I truly hope that at the end of this trilogy the two of them will get a happy ending.
If you are open-minded and want books to surprise you, then it is time to give this book a chance!!!
Highly recommended!!!
February 28, 2026
you see this cute edgy guy covered in tats, he’s the new kid at school and you exchange names, you think nothing of it until boom he’s sitting in your kitchen and you find out he’s your new foster brother. 😌. they’re both drug addicts who will do anything to get high, they start depending on each other and it goes south..fast. i liked this book i just wish we could’ve gotten to know killians childhood a little more. 🧐 like why he is the way he is instead of just “im in foster care, so thats why i am the way i am” i’m hoping to see more of his story in the next book? fingers crossed. 🤞🤗😌🖤
‘I shouldn't follow her; I shouldn't give her what she wants. But like a fucking fool, I do.’
‘She burns brightly like the moon that hangs above us in the sky. She lights my soul on fire and I want to fucking burn.’
‘I'm fucked because I do know what I want. I want Killian.’
‘I shouldn't follow her; I shouldn't give her what she wants. But like a fucking fool, I do.’
‘She burns brightly like the moon that hangs above us in the sky. She lights my soul on fire and I want to fucking burn.’
‘I'm fucked because I do know what I want. I want Killian.’
January 9, 2025
Starting the year off strong 👏🏼 4.5 ⭐️
Check TW! The MMC & FMC are toxic AF and struggling, but seek solace in each other, oh yeah and he is her foster brother. 😮💨 Is this for everybody, no. Is it for me, fuck yes.
Will immediately be starting book 2 in this series!
Check TW! The MMC & FMC are toxic AF and struggling, but seek solace in each other, oh yeah and he is her foster brother. 😮💨 Is this for everybody, no. Is it for me, fuck yes.
Will immediately be starting book 2 in this series!
January 28, 2022
Addicting Start
4.5 stars
Killian might not make much sense to me, but he f*cking gets it. He gets me.
There is so much to unpack here with this story, I don’t even know where to begin. Ainsley and Killian are toxic for each other at best, but they can’t help the pull between them, even though they desperately try to push each other away.
From foster siblings to enemies to lovers, their fate has already been dealt for one another. Killian has basically been alone his whole life, so he craves control. Ainsley, despite living the picture perfect life, craves to forget hers. They both have incredibly high walls, but day by day, they break them down.
Anesthetic isn’t for the faint of heart. The ride that Ainsley and Killian brings us on isn't easy, and yet it’s a heartbreakingly real one. At first I was a little thrown by how fast this was going, one minute they hated each other, and the next they really didn’t, but as their story kept unfolding, I found myself completely immersed and quickly forgot about the pace.
There’s so many obstacles Ainsley and Killian are going through. So many ups and downs that one can only take so much of. I’m entirely too stressed about how the next two books are going to play out. You want them to have a HEA together, but the odds may just be too stacked against them.
This book is packed with triggers, so please pay attention to the warnings. And it ends on a cliffhanger. I did not realize when going into this book that it wasn’t a standalone, so when I tell you my gasp had a gasp… I wanted to scream. But I love it when books like this can pull out that sort of reaction and emotion from me, it leaves me wanting more asap. If book one already ripped me apart, I can’t wait for what book two is gonna do to me.
4.5 stars
Killian might not make much sense to me, but he f*cking gets it. He gets me.
There is so much to unpack here with this story, I don’t even know where to begin. Ainsley and Killian are toxic for each other at best, but they can’t help the pull between them, even though they desperately try to push each other away.
From foster siblings to enemies to lovers, their fate has already been dealt for one another. Killian has basically been alone his whole life, so he craves control. Ainsley, despite living the picture perfect life, craves to forget hers. They both have incredibly high walls, but day by day, they break them down.
Anesthetic isn’t for the faint of heart. The ride that Ainsley and Killian brings us on isn't easy, and yet it’s a heartbreakingly real one. At first I was a little thrown by how fast this was going, one minute they hated each other, and the next they really didn’t, but as their story kept unfolding, I found myself completely immersed and quickly forgot about the pace.
There’s so many obstacles Ainsley and Killian are going through. So many ups and downs that one can only take so much of. I’m entirely too stressed about how the next two books are going to play out. You want them to have a HEA together, but the odds may just be too stacked against them.
This book is packed with triggers, so please pay attention to the warnings. And it ends on a cliffhanger. I did not realize when going into this book that it wasn’t a standalone, so when I tell you my gasp had a gasp… I wanted to scream. But I love it when books like this can pull out that sort of reaction and emotion from me, it leaves me wanting more asap. If book one already ripped me apart, I can’t wait for what book two is gonna do to me.
November 11, 2021
Dazed
‘ 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐠𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐟—𝐤, 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.’
‘𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧. 𝐇𝐞'𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐫-𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫.‘
When I tell you that this author writes a 𝘵𝘰𝘹𝘪𝘤 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 in such a real way, I 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 forget that these are characters. It’s like watching a 𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡 in slow motion, but one that I’m definitely not looking away from.
I’m not saying anything here, not really, but I’m also telling you 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 you need to know.
If you’re looking for something 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘺, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭, 𝘵𝘰𝘹𝘪𝘤, and 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘺 that will literally leave you wanting more…. 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄!
‘ 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐠𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐟—𝐤, 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.’
‘𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧. 𝐇𝐞'𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐫-𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫.‘
When I tell you that this author writes a 𝘵𝘰𝘹𝘪𝘤 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 in such a real way, I 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 forget that these are characters. It’s like watching a 𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡 in slow motion, but one that I’m definitely not looking away from.
I’m not saying anything here, not really, but I’m also telling you 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 you need to know.
If you’re looking for something 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘺, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭, 𝘵𝘰𝘹𝘪𝘤, and 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘺 that will literally leave you wanting more…. 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄!
October 13, 2021
Unconventional. Forbidden. Toxic. Watch this space – this couple is going to own you.
P.S. Can we all take a minute to appreciate how much C.M. Radcliff has grown as a writer and story-teller? 👏
P.S. Can we all take a minute to appreciate how much C.M. Radcliff has grown as a writer and story-teller? 👏
Want to Read
April 19, 2022i'll read this when i'm not gonna relapse
jk its inevitable
jk its inevitable
March 11, 2025
3.5⭐️ great writing, definitely kept me coming back! Hoping the series picks up!!
November 9, 2021
You can always trust C.M. Radiff to bring the best angst of toxic love and flawed characters with intense chemistry. Anesthetic moved me so deeply. The characters display such bone deep pain and I wasn't immune to the torture they went through. Raw. Unapologetic. Gritty. Something that left a mark on me.
When Killian moved to the home of Sinclairs as foster kid from group foster home, he wanted to just spend few months befor he turns eighteen. But here he meets Ainsley. His foster sister. Lost in her own sadness and despair. And destroying herself. He hates her for the rich privileged life she got and she wasted. But he cannot deny that she is perfect for his broken dark soul. He will either rescue her or break her for good. What will it be?
.
Killian and Ainsley are both far from perfect. And that's why I love them. The author cracked them wide open and all their ugly yet beautiful Truths are exposed. Killian is so angry and dejected. He is a storm of devastation. Ainsley just needs fo escape and addiction is her portal. Killian despised her and then craved her. Ainsley didn't want to feel so vulnerable and understood by Killian but it was inevitable. They were fighting their demons. And rather than doing it together, their issues made them tear each other into pieces. And the drugs complicated everything. They do feel that their love and soul deep connection can save us but their minds are too far gone to grasp at the last straw. I am feeling so raw and bruised after reading this story. I will pray hard for their happily ever after in the next books but I know C.M. Radcliff won't make it easy at all.
Anaesthetic by C.M. Radcliff is love, sex and life in the most brutal and colourful details. The author would attack your heart mercilessly and it was worth every single heartaching moment.
.
I reviewed an early copy voluntarily
When Killian moved to the home of Sinclairs as foster kid from group foster home, he wanted to just spend few months befor he turns eighteen. But here he meets Ainsley. His foster sister. Lost in her own sadness and despair. And destroying herself. He hates her for the rich privileged life she got and she wasted. But he cannot deny that she is perfect for his broken dark soul. He will either rescue her or break her for good. What will it be?
.
Killian and Ainsley are both far from perfect. And that's why I love them. The author cracked them wide open and all their ugly yet beautiful Truths are exposed. Killian is so angry and dejected. He is a storm of devastation. Ainsley just needs fo escape and addiction is her portal. Killian despised her and then craved her. Ainsley didn't want to feel so vulnerable and understood by Killian but it was inevitable. They were fighting their demons. And rather than doing it together, their issues made them tear each other into pieces. And the drugs complicated everything. They do feel that their love and soul deep connection can save us but their minds are too far gone to grasp at the last straw. I am feeling so raw and bruised after reading this story. I will pray hard for their happily ever after in the next books but I know C.M. Radcliff won't make it easy at all.
Anaesthetic by C.M. Radcliff is love, sex and life in the most brutal and colourful details. The author would attack your heart mercilessly and it was worth every single heartaching moment.
.
I reviewed an early copy voluntarily
October 22, 2021
I'm going to keep my review short and sweet.
Killian and Ainsley's story is a bumpy ride.
Buckle up! It's everything.
Killian and Ainsley's story is a bumpy ride.
Buckle up! It's everything.
November 11, 2021
Anesthetic is just the type of story I’ve come to expect from CM Radcliff- a gritty, heart wrenching, and honest depiction of the best and worst of love, and the impact of addiction when it becomes the only coping mechanism to survive.
This first book in the series introduces us to Killian, a group home foster kid who finds himself in yet another new foster home just months shy of his emancipation. His latest journey in the foster care system places him in the Sinclair household- with new foster sister Ainsley- classic tragic, rich girl. Ainsley is self-destructing in toxic ways- and her unhealthy ways of coping have included her leverage her privilege to develop a spiraling addiction. She represents everything Killian hates, even though she constantly surprises him- but he can’t see past this girl who have everything throwing it all away. Even if she calls to him- and so begins yet another compelling CM Radcliff story about the toxic nature of love- and the impact of addiction.
CM is always brutally unapologetic about helping us see the best, and worst, in her characters- and Killian and Ainsley are no different. They are both struggling with their own demons and triggers, both self-destructed in their own way- and there are moments when they could help or heal each other, and moments when their dynamic enables them to further sink into themselves. Ainsley feels tragic- so alone and lost in plain sight. And the drugs both help her cope and further break her. And Killian is just so bitter and angry- life has dealt him a crappy hand, and he has no where to channel all the resentment and frustration- and Ainsley becomes the perfect scapegoat. She represents everything he resents, has everything he’s lost. Their chemistry is, well, challenging. There is a broken connectivity we feel in them, yet their friction feels manic and overpowering. They both see each other in unexpected ways- and while both feel alone and forgotten, they don’t seem to want to be seen either. It’s safer- less risky. And they unsettle each other.
I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes- thought the groundwork is certainly interesting. It did feel a bit slow for me in place- in part because marinating in people’s sadness and lostness, in their misery, isn’t a fun place to be. But that’s the kind of stories CM writes- you force us to dwell in how hard it is to overcome our demons, our pain, the worst parts of ourselves. It’s a lot of angst to swallow- a lot of toxicity to work through. Like all CM stories, I’m expecting this to be an arduous but rewarding journey, and both of these characters are so compelling in their brokenness- here’s hoping their path to healing doesn’t destroy them.
This first book in the series introduces us to Killian, a group home foster kid who finds himself in yet another new foster home just months shy of his emancipation. His latest journey in the foster care system places him in the Sinclair household- with new foster sister Ainsley- classic tragic, rich girl. Ainsley is self-destructing in toxic ways- and her unhealthy ways of coping have included her leverage her privilege to develop a spiraling addiction. She represents everything Killian hates, even though she constantly surprises him- but he can’t see past this girl who have everything throwing it all away. Even if she calls to him- and so begins yet another compelling CM Radcliff story about the toxic nature of love- and the impact of addiction.
CM is always brutally unapologetic about helping us see the best, and worst, in her characters- and Killian and Ainsley are no different. They are both struggling with their own demons and triggers, both self-destructed in their own way- and there are moments when they could help or heal each other, and moments when their dynamic enables them to further sink into themselves. Ainsley feels tragic- so alone and lost in plain sight. And the drugs both help her cope and further break her. And Killian is just so bitter and angry- life has dealt him a crappy hand, and he has no where to channel all the resentment and frustration- and Ainsley becomes the perfect scapegoat. She represents everything he resents, has everything he’s lost. Their chemistry is, well, challenging. There is a broken connectivity we feel in them, yet their friction feels manic and overpowering. They both see each other in unexpected ways- and while both feel alone and forgotten, they don’t seem to want to be seen either. It’s safer- less risky. And they unsettle each other.
I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes- thought the groundwork is certainly interesting. It did feel a bit slow for me in place- in part because marinating in people’s sadness and lostness, in their misery, isn’t a fun place to be. But that’s the kind of stories CM writes- you force us to dwell in how hard it is to overcome our demons, our pain, the worst parts of ourselves. It’s a lot of angst to swallow- a lot of toxicity to work through. Like all CM stories, I’m expecting this to be an arduous but rewarding journey, and both of these characters are so compelling in their brokenness- here’s hoping their path to healing doesn’t destroy them.
December 5, 2024
We have a story about Killian: I'm an asshole kid with a mental health history that would rival my mother's rap sheet.
&
Ainsley: My parents don't know my secrets. I keep my partying and drug use under lock and key.
He's haunted and damaged and I'm not looking for a fixer-upper. I have my own shit that I'm trying to keep together. The last thing that I am capable of doing is making another person whole.
BUCKLE UP 😌😜
&
Ainsley: My parents don't know my secrets. I keep my partying and drug use under lock and key.
He's haunted and damaged and I'm not looking for a fixer-upper. I have my own shit that I'm trying to keep together. The last thing that I am capable of doing is making another person whole.
BUCKLE UP 😌😜
October 29, 2021
Killian and Ainsley are foster siblings and are both extremely lost in life for different reasons. Killian is unwanted and has nothing, he keeps his guard up and keeps people at a distance. Ainsley is from a decent and well off family, but her parents barely pay attention to each other, let alone her. So she find attention, affection and her 'happy' place where ever she can.
This is a very toxic relationship. A lot of back and fourth between the MC's and a lot of drug use. They both feel like they are unworthy of having even found each other at all, that when anything even remotely bad happens between them, everything goes spiraling.
The themes and characters are powerful and captivating. This very much feels like this a real relationship, especially one where drugs are involved. Emotions are high and the main characters are higher. You absolutely feel how much of a mess they both are, but you can also see that they just want to be together. They just have to decide what they want more. The high they give each other, or one that's self medicated.
This one was a tough one for me, drug abuse runs in my family and I have seen things first hand that can change a person. So this hit close to home for me. I got very emotional a handful of times and that rarely happens when I read. But it just goes to show how powerful and gripping this story is. Please make sure you check your trigger warnings! This is book one in a series, and I can't wait for the next book.
This is a very toxic relationship. A lot of back and fourth between the MC's and a lot of drug use. They both feel like they are unworthy of having even found each other at all, that when anything even remotely bad happens between them, everything goes spiraling.
The themes and characters are powerful and captivating. This very much feels like this a real relationship, especially one where drugs are involved. Emotions are high and the main characters are higher. You absolutely feel how much of a mess they both are, but you can also see that they just want to be together. They just have to decide what they want more. The high they give each other, or one that's self medicated.
This one was a tough one for me, drug abuse runs in my family and I have seen things first hand that can change a person. So this hit close to home for me. I got very emotional a handful of times and that rarely happens when I read. But it just goes to show how powerful and gripping this story is. Please make sure you check your trigger warnings! This is book one in a series, and I can't wait for the next book.
October 31, 2021
Wow. This story took me for a RIDE. I never EVER wanted it to end.
My current drug of choice: Killian.
I am ADDICTED to Kill. I don't need any help. I want this high to last forever.
My love for that man makes me wish I was 17 again. There were parts I had to go back and just re read. I felt that C.M. Radcliff has just started to show us who he is with this book and I cannot wait to see more. And AINSLEY. WOW. She was THE character. Like, I don't think there could have been a more perfect chick written for Killian. You can tell they are both just drowning so deep and so hard in their misery and they need each other to float SO badly but they are so damn hardheaded.
Gahhh I just wanted to knock their heads together.
The parts with him in her bed just melted my heart but most importantly MY FRIGGIN PANTIES GOOD LORD. GUYS THAT AGE SHOULDNT BE ABLE TO POUND LIKE THAT BUT DAMN. DAMN. Making me look at my husband with a stink eye remembering him at that age like.....🤡
Also... Jude.....boy.. I got my eye on you....Also also... Courtland and Amethyst. Helloooooo!!!!!
I have sooo much to say yet this just needs to be soooo vague for your utter disappointment.
P.S as per usual, prepare for a cliffy that will make you say Seriously WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL THERE BETTER BE A SNIPPET INTO BOOK 2 (where you continuously turn the page and nothing happens because CM Radcliff AKA the Destroyer likes to torture us)
5 STARS!!!! OH MY GG 5 STARS!!!
My current drug of choice: Killian.
I am ADDICTED to Kill. I don't need any help. I want this high to last forever.
My love for that man makes me wish I was 17 again. There were parts I had to go back and just re read. I felt that C.M. Radcliff has just started to show us who he is with this book and I cannot wait to see more. And AINSLEY. WOW. She was THE character. Like, I don't think there could have been a more perfect chick written for Killian. You can tell they are both just drowning so deep and so hard in their misery and they need each other to float SO badly but they are so damn hardheaded.
Gahhh I just wanted to knock their heads together.
The parts with him in her bed just melted my heart but most importantly MY FRIGGIN PANTIES GOOD LORD. GUYS THAT AGE SHOULDNT BE ABLE TO POUND LIKE THAT BUT DAMN. DAMN. Making me look at my husband with a stink eye remembering him at that age like.....🤡
Also... Jude.....boy.. I got my eye on you....Also also... Courtland and Amethyst. Helloooooo!!!!!
I have sooo much to say yet this just needs to be soooo vague for your utter disappointment.
P.S as per usual, prepare for a cliffy that will make you say Seriously WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL THERE BETTER BE A SNIPPET INTO BOOK 2 (where you continuously turn the page and nothing happens because CM Radcliff AKA the Destroyer likes to torture us)
5 STARS!!!! OH MY GG 5 STARS!!!
November 18, 2021
So… I didn’t like this. It had all the elements you would think I would love, a toxic relationship, issues up the wazoo, a gorgeous cover, etc. but I just feel the book didn’t quite deliver.
There is no heat between Killian and Ainsley. They hated each other from the off and next thing they were sleeping together and just like… what? They both seem to have issues, which wasn’t addressed at all throughout the book - like, not even enough hints to sate or anything. I felt the writing style was quite repetitive, with phrases being recycled over and over again.
Also, the book deals with incredibly heavy themes of drug use and abuse, and yet nothing is done about it. Nobody is doing anything, etc. There is a section where Killian is supposed to be ignoring Ainsley to keep both of them safe. Right. Fine. But he knows there is heroin in the mix and doesn’t even try to do anything about it?
Neither of the characters has backstory, either, which makes the whole affair super hollow. Anyway. I thought I was gonna enjoy this a lot more than I did. I wanted to enjoy this a lot more than I did. I don’t mind dark and toxic and messed up, but I want the characters to be people, to draw me into their plight, make me invest. I just didn’t connect with this book the way others have, and that’s alright. Different strokes and all that.
There is no heat between Killian and Ainsley. They hated each other from the off and next thing they were sleeping together and just like… what? They both seem to have issues, which wasn’t addressed at all throughout the book - like, not even enough hints to sate or anything. I felt the writing style was quite repetitive, with phrases being recycled over and over again.
Also, the book deals with incredibly heavy themes of drug use and abuse, and yet nothing is done about it. Nobody is doing anything, etc. There is a section where Killian is supposed to be ignoring Ainsley to keep both of them safe. Right. Fine. But he knows there is heroin in the mix and doesn’t even try to do anything about it?
Neither of the characters has backstory, either, which makes the whole affair super hollow. Anyway. I thought I was gonna enjoy this a lot more than I did. I wanted to enjoy this a lot more than I did. I don’t mind dark and toxic and messed up, but I want the characters to be people, to draw me into their plight, make me invest. I just didn’t connect with this book the way others have, and that’s alright. Different strokes and all that.
7-tbr-ooit
November 3, 2021
October 22, 2021
(3.7 Stars)
Killian Stone has been bounced from foster home to foster home. Now 17, he has one last chance at a home and thats where he meets his new foster sister Ainsley Sinclair. She is a rich girl in a dangerous world of drugs to cope with life. They don’t get along but sometimes your enemies can become your Allies in life. This is a story that deals with addition in teenagers trying to make it through life. A little on the slower pace for me as it is high school seniors and was difficult for me to connect to Ainsley however I am interested to see what happens with Killian as I know this character from a glimpse in a previous series. It is well written. Trigger warning as this shows addiction & substance abuse within teens. This does end in a cliffhanger and is told in dual POV.
Killian Stone has been bounced from foster home to foster home. Now 17, he has one last chance at a home and thats where he meets his new foster sister Ainsley Sinclair. She is a rich girl in a dangerous world of drugs to cope with life. They don’t get along but sometimes your enemies can become your Allies in life. This is a story that deals with addition in teenagers trying to make it through life. A little on the slower pace for me as it is high school seniors and was difficult for me to connect to Ainsley however I am interested to see what happens with Killian as I know this character from a glimpse in a previous series. It is well written. Trigger warning as this shows addiction & substance abuse within teens. This does end in a cliffhanger and is told in dual POV.
April 26, 2022
less than what I was expecting
More than what I bargained for. This wasn’t for me because it hit to many of my personal pet peeves. The repetitiveness of the writing. The way the story is built on misunderstandings and miscommunications. I also found the reason for them supposedly being enemies, kind of lazy. I think someone should pick a different trope for this. I also wish that some indication of why Ainsley used so heavily would have been addressed because without it. Her excuses felt really vapid. I really wanted to like this this more. I’m still lusting over the covers for this series. But I don’t think it makes much sense for me to try to stick this out to get to the HEA.
More than what I bargained for. This wasn’t for me because it hit to many of my personal pet peeves. The repetitiveness of the writing. The way the story is built on misunderstandings and miscommunications. I also found the reason for them supposedly being enemies, kind of lazy. I think someone should pick a different trope for this. I also wish that some indication of why Ainsley used so heavily would have been addressed because without it. Her excuses felt really vapid. I really wanted to like this this more. I’m still lusting over the covers for this series. But I don’t think it makes much sense for me to try to stick this out to get to the HEA.
December 22, 2024
⚠️Trigger warning. Constant drug abuse. ⚠️
One of the things I have never really enjoyed experiencing through reading is drug use to the extent of addiction. I don’t know why. It may be because my family has a history of addiction. It may be because I don’t want to imagine it in my head like I’m in the middle of doing it my self. It may just be me.
This doesn’t make or break my rating. My rating is based on other things. Allow me to explain:
The plot started out with possibilities. A foster kid finding a well to do placement and he gets involved with the sister. But it was just Drug abuse on both sides. Explicit sex amongst at least one minor (which is an ick for me). What seemed as a good possibility became a total turn off for me.
This felt like I was in the minds of two children. There was no real character development. One was already an addict while the other became an addict. I never really even saw their romance. It was really vague, unreliable and more so focused on the drug abuse.
This is my first full length novel by this author and I’ve read multiple other shorter books by them this year and I loved them. I didn’t love this one, but that’s not to say other people might. This just wasn’t my cup of tea.
2.5 stars for me. I will not be continuing this series, but I will try another series by this author and hope that it is better. I have to give this author another shot because I loved the other two books that I read by them.
One of the things I have never really enjoyed experiencing through reading is drug use to the extent of addiction. I don’t know why. It may be because my family has a history of addiction. It may be because I don’t want to imagine it in my head like I’m in the middle of doing it my self. It may just be me.
This doesn’t make or break my rating. My rating is based on other things. Allow me to explain:
The plot started out with possibilities. A foster kid finding a well to do placement and he gets involved with the sister. But it was just Drug abuse on both sides. Explicit sex amongst at least one minor (which is an ick for me). What seemed as a good possibility became a total turn off for me.
This felt like I was in the minds of two children. There was no real character development. One was already an addict while the other became an addict. I never really even saw their romance. It was really vague, unreliable and more so focused on the drug abuse.
This is my first full length novel by this author and I’ve read multiple other shorter books by them this year and I loved them. I didn’t love this one, but that’s not to say other people might. This just wasn’t my cup of tea.
2.5 stars for me. I will not be continuing this series, but I will try another series by this author and hope that it is better. I have to give this author another shot because I loved the other two books that I read by them.
February 20, 2023
Four and a Half Stars
“In my dreams, we never end.”
Oh my God. I could honestly go on about this book and series forever. I’ve formed such an attachment to this series and this couple it, its intense.
Ainsley Sinclair seems perfect to the blind eye, but deep down she is broken, so broken, drowning, yet no one ever seems to notice. I felt so awful for Ainsley the entire time because you could see her getting worse and there was no way of retribution without having her suffer firsthand. Ainsley in no way was a bad person either, she was so genuine and honestly a people pleaser which had led to her downfall. She couldn’t keep up so she fell to drugs and slowly they became harder ones and her addiction took forth.
Killian Stone is a whirlwind of a person. He was so conflicting the entire book, yet his character development was so prevalent and clear throughout. Killian comes from an extremely troubled past, he was a foster child because his mom was arrested for drugs. He moves into the Sinclair home and meets Ainsley. You could sense him falling harder for Ainsley and just how much it was hurting him because he didn’t know how to save her.
Together these two were a mess of toxicity, love, obsession and just every single emotion possible to evoke. While I know I shouldn’t, I just love them so much. They need each other so bad but also its so clear they need space because they need to heal. The comfort they find with each other is so perfect and honestly nothing but love, toxic? Maybe, but still.
The plot itself was SO good as well and I was so captivated by every single aspect of the book. The book was heavily character based because of just how broken these two characters are. I truly loved that though because for me I just wanted to see them develop and heal.
The ex bf drama made me so mad for Killian because he deserved better but in a way it did happen because of him. Yet, nothing left me more jaw dropped, screaming, and crying as much as the cliffhanger did. It was so upsetting that I started the next book immediately and then went on to finish the series in a single day.
Overall, Anesthetic is one of my new favorite books and the attachment I have formed to Killian and Ainsley won’t be going away anytime soon.
July 1, 2022
Liked it but not so much as the vein series
3.5 stars
3.5 stars
May 12, 2022
3 stars-
Even though I understood the concept of the story and usually unlikable, broken characters are something I can get behind, no problem.
This book was hard to like, it was hard to understand character motivation and even though we are told how much the characters like each other and they get together pretty quick, there was something lost in the chemistry department for me.
Overall, I did enjoy it but it missed the spot.
Even though I understood the concept of the story and usually unlikable, broken characters are something I can get behind, no problem.
This book was hard to like, it was hard to understand character motivation and even though we are told how much the characters like each other and they get together pretty quick, there was something lost in the chemistry department for me.
Overall, I did enjoy it but it missed the spot.
November 14, 2021
We've met Killian as a side character in Poison Laced Truths (btw. you don't need to read PLT first as the last book in the In Vein series takes place in the future - before the events in Anesthetic) and let's say he wasn't exactly a sunshine (but the more intrigued Mary was ofc). In his book he acted double an $AA who was set on ruining our heroine's life once he realized she was the daughter of his new foster family.
Killian and Ainsley, our girl in question, well, they started off on the wrong page almost right from the beginning, and the hate part of the enemies-to-lover was burning white-hot when it came to Kill. I didn't get why and at the same time I did understand his “reasoning”, why he needed to make it his mission to be the most hostile jerk-y beef in the vicinity, I still was like - why seriously? Is it necessary? Dude, chill etc. I’ve got the impression that there was far more behind his backstory that could had provided a better explanation of his behaviour. (Let me know if you read the book, because little old me has a theory and she doesn’t want to give anyone ideas or spoilers here if it turns out to be true). Despite this, the guy surprised me with a little something nice about him (it’s theory related) and sorta erased the hesitation towards his character that I harboured from the first chapters.
Ainsley had her own real-life issues that lead her to seek out the “daze” and that had her match Killian’s toxicity (and me wonder what gave her the form of her future self in PLT where she carried herself different). And that brings me to another center of the story which was addiction. The author seems to be “woke” about these things and it reflects in her words and characters and how I as a reader feel everything on my skin. Anesthetic was no different in this regard. Add the gritty writing and how the amount of p00p that went down and keeps going down could build a new p00p-land… and you have me screaming at the characters silently not to do something even though you have no delusions they will listen to you. This frustration was a welcome one, tho. Afterall, that is what I like about C.M. Radcliff’s work – the messiness, the bumps on the gravelly road and all the “bad” moves that we can learn from and in the end take a different path or approach if we were in the character’s shoes irl (and I am not speaking just about the main characters).
4+
Killian and Ainsley, our girl in question, well, they started off on the wrong page almost right from the beginning, and the hate part of the enemies-to-lover was burning white-hot when it came to Kill. I didn't get why and at the same time I did understand his “reasoning”, why he needed to make it his mission to be the most hostile jerk-y beef in the vicinity, I still was like - why seriously? Is it necessary? Dude, chill etc. I’ve got the impression that there was far more behind his backstory that could had provided a better explanation of his behaviour. (Let me know if you read the book, because little old me has a theory and she doesn’t want to give anyone ideas or spoilers here if it turns out to be true). Despite this, the guy surprised me with a little something nice about him (it’s theory related) and sorta erased the hesitation towards his character that I harboured from the first chapters.
Ainsley had her own real-life issues that lead her to seek out the “daze” and that had her match Killian’s toxicity (and me wonder what gave her the form of her future self in PLT where she carried herself different). And that brings me to another center of the story which was addiction. The author seems to be “woke” about these things and it reflects in her words and characters and how I as a reader feel everything on my skin. Anesthetic was no different in this regard. Add the gritty writing and how the amount of p00p that went down and keeps going down could build a new p00p-land… and you have me screaming at the characters silently not to do something even though you have no delusions they will listen to you. This frustration was a welcome one, tho. Afterall, that is what I like about C.M. Radcliff’s work – the messiness, the bumps on the gravelly road and all the “bad” moves that we can learn from and in the end take a different path or approach if we were in the character’s shoes irl (and I am not speaking just about the main characters).
4+
Displaying 1 - 30 of 132 reviews