My Little Red Book

by Rachel Kauder Nalebuff (Editor), Meg Cabot (Contributor), Erica Jong (Contributor)

MY LITTLE RED BOOK is an anthology of stories about first periods, collected from women of all ages from around the world. The accounts range from lighthearted (the editor got hers while water skiing in a yellow bathing suit) to heart-stopping (a first period discovered just as one girl was about to be strip-searched by the Nazis). The contributors include well-known women writers (Meg Cabot, Erica Jong, Gloria Steinem, Cecily von Ziegesar), alongside today's teens.

Ultimately, MY LITTLE READ BOOK is more than a collection of stories. It is a call for a change in attitude. By revealing what it feels like to undergo this experience firsthand and giving women the chance to explain their feelings in their own words, MY LITTLE RED BOOK aims to provide support, entertainment, and a starting point for discussion for mothers and daughters everywhere.

It is a book every girl should have. Period.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Short Stories, Essays, Memoir, Book Club, Womens

225 pages, Hardcover

First published February 26, 2009

About the author

Rachel Kauder Nalebuff is a writer working at the intersections of oral history, performance, and public health. She is the editor of the forthcoming Our Red Book (Simon & Schuster, 2022) and of The New York Times best-selling My Little Red Book (Hachette, 2009). She co-edited The Feminist Utopia Project (Feminist Press, 2015) with Alexandra Brodsky. Her book Stages (Thick Press, 2020) is a hybrid collection of writing and interviews with end-of-life care workers that “feels truly revolutionary, in both form and in content” (Elif Batuman).

Rachel teaches nonfiction writing at Yale University and co-directs a memoir program for seniors with Caitlin Ryan O’Connell and many friends through the Bushwick Starr theater. She is online at www.itsrachelkuadernalebuff.com and, occasionally, https://rachelkaudernalebuff.substack....

Reviews

[Anna Balasi · Rating 4 out of 5]

My first reaction to this book was that I wish I had something like it before my first period. My second reaction to this book was that I wish I could've contributed my own story.

Women, in general, I think, would be better empowered sharing their first-period experiences to their children, mostly to their daughters. A wonderful book like MY LITTLE RED BOOK emphasises the importance of this, since too many little girls thought they were dying, thought they were freaks, or were just plain too embarrassed to speak up. Then again, the women in the book who celebrated their first periods is more proof that young women should be made more aware of the how natural, yet special, having one's period is.

I will keep this book for when I have a daughter. Where I'm not sure whether I would have a better approach at periods than my elders were, I'm at least certain that this book will help pave the way for a more open discussion where my own words will fail.

[Tamora Pierce · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a dynamite book, not just for girls just learning about menstruation, but for women looking to see what kinds of experience other women had when they encountered this particular step toward adulthood. It's also a good book for those who want to see a new face of a favorite author: Rachel got writers like Erica Jong, Gloria Steinem, Cecily von Zeigesar, Meg Cabot, and, um, me to contribute. There are stories from all over the world and over the last seventy years, showing how times and attitudes change.

Rachel worked to bring this project to completion for years, and I was so thrilled when the book finally came out. Give it to a friend for her birthdays, bridal, or baby shower. Give it to a mom who helped you through those first strange days, or the girlfriend who gave you a better way to look at it. Give it to a guy who's just moved in with his first girlfriend, or a young father with his first daughter. Take the last shame off our periods!

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nalebuff began collecting stories from women about their first menstrual periods as a high school project. She found that while women had a variety of stories to tell, several themes, taboos, or old wives tales, carried across cultures. The stories collected here are from young women who have just recently started their periods to elderly women long over with menopause. A large number of women mentioned getting their initial, or only information about menstruation from Judy Blume's children's book, "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret," originally published in 1970. Nalebuff brings to our attention that young women in many countries in Africa miss weeks and weeks of school because they have no sanitary supplies, or because there are no private toilets at school.

The royalties from this book are going to support the School Water and Sanitation Project of the Health and Water Foundation in Kenya which will supply private and sanitary supplies, and to Seva Mandir, a health education program in India.

Nalebuff provides information about similar programs, as well as a variety of resources, including a website where girls can track their periods, ask questions, and share stories (www.beinggirl.com); the online menstrual museum (www.mum.org), and more.

This book is recommended to women and girls of all ages, and would make a nice book for mothers to share with daughters as they give "The Talk."

[Rosie · Rating 3 out of 5]

In this collection of stories, women of various ages and cultures share the story of their first period. Some are humorous while others focus more on the emotions and thoughts experienced by this event. I found it interesting to see how different cultures and eras treated this subject. Even still, it's still, at times, considered a taboo subject. I would recommend this for young girls (I wish it was around when I was twelve) or any woman. The only way to talk about health, even the taboo aspects of it, is to start a conversation about it and I think this type of book does just that.

[Timmy Cham · Rating 5 out of 5]

I admire the premise of this book: So often, young girls feel "weird" or "strange" because of events involving their bodies. The way to mollify their fears, as this book makes plain, is to point out that every young girl feels exactly the same fears, insecurities, etc. Back in the '60s, we called this exercise--of bringing to light the heretofore hidden feelings that every woman has--"consciousness raising." This book is a wonderful contemporary example.

So, OK, since I'm a guy, I've (obviously) never had a period. But since I'm fascinated by all things feminine, I've always listened intently when women have told me of the nuanced circumstances of their menarches: One woman endured years of painful self-consciousness on account of getting her first period at only nine years old. Another woman, of Catholic Mexican descent, burst into fearful tears--since she'd never been told about menstruation, and thought the blood meant something was dreadfully wrong. (The same lack of information occurs, author Nalebuff reports, to a stunning 87% of polled Pakistani women (page 7).)

So in reading this unique (and often poignant) book of first-person menarche-memoirs, I kept an eye out for the nuances. Where and what age did it take place? Who did she tell first? How did that person react? How did the girl feel? Did she receive outdated advice? (Hint: the landmark novella on the subject, Judy Blume's Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, was published in 1970.) What did the event mean to them and their families/friends?

Girls' feelings ranged the gamut, as this anthology attests: Some felt fear; some felt joy; some felt overwhelmed; some felt irritated; some felt exposed; some felt relief; some felt ecstatic; some felt annoyed; some felt horrified; some felt embarrassed; some felt disappointment. Et cetera. In short, there's no "normal" way to feel about getting one's period. It's almost an intriguing kind of Rorschach test, according to YA author Michele Jaffe: "I discovered that how you react to Your First Period lets you see the beginnings of personality traits that are magnified as an adult" (page 25)

The book contains a variety of experiences from different eras: Menarche during slavery (page 41); the fear of "menotoxins" in the 1920s (page 21); a Depression-era orphanage (pp. 70ff); in India in 1962; in Kenya (pp. 134ff); while preparing U.S. Thanksgiving cranberry sauce (page 127); snorkeling in the Caribbean (p. 102); a bar mitzvah party (p. 106ff).

But while many girls are today given "The Period Talk" in gym class, this book reveals that so many questions often remain: Does a period happen only once? Does it only happen at certain hours of the day? How does one pronounce that tongue-twisting word "menstruation"? How can blood come out if you're a virgin--wouldn't the hymen keep it in? Should you put off using tampons until after marriage (because of the "virgin thing")? How much blood comes out during a first period? Why is the stain rust colored--all the pictures in books show red stains! Where's the belt--Judy Blume's book (from 1970) talks about a belt! Won't everyone notice this BIG pad--I can feel it! Won't this small tampon get lost inside me--I can't feel it! How do you dispense of used sanitary products? What if I go swimming and the tampon "floats out"? Will my dad still want me to mow the lawn?

And along the way, women share the life lessons and morals they learned from menstruation: "What getting periods teaches you," writes Bita Moghaddam, "is that life will not be fair [Boys don't have to deal with this!]; it will be full of nuisances and disasters. But you can handle it as long as you know what to wear" (page 155). "It means your body now has life for two" (page 183). Kate Zieman "thinks that first periods would be easier if we viewed them as one of the many steps toward adulthood instead of as automatic womanhood" (page 69). (This last point suggests an interesting insight: The girl/woman distinction isn't a "binary," neatly bifurcated by menarche; rather, the path from girl to woman runs along a continuum of discreet markers. And aren't the emotional markers far more important than the physiological ones? (Even Britney Spears seems to have noticed this!))

It made me sad to see the word "embarrassed" occur in so many of these accounts (Google Books counts 23 occurrences of the word). I couldn't help but notice how much the issues surrounding menarche dovetail with the constellation of similar issues surrounding (female, but not male) virginity--compare, especially, Jessica Valenti's masterful work The Purity Myth.

"Ultimately," writes Carol Tavris (in The Mismeasure of Woman), "the belief that menstruation...[is a] problem...for women is part of a larger assumption that female physiology itself is abnormal, deficient, and diseased. Because this view is so pervasive, it is easy to forget that it is not the only one possible." Here's hoping that this collection of honest sharing can bring us closer to a day when girls no longer meet menstruation with a sense of dread, embarrassment and shame--but rather with a sense of courage and self-appreciation.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the concept of this book a lot. It was very entertaining, but some of the stories were a little much and she chose all feminists as contributors, so hearing everything from that perspective got a little old. I wish I could make a copy for my daughter including only the stories that would be appropriate for her. I did learn a lot about how I want to go through this transition with my daughter and what she will want and need to hear.

My favorite quote is:

"This means that your body is getting ready to be a woman, no that you are a woman. When you become a woman is up to you. For now, you can be a happy sixth-grade girl and still love sports and have boys who are friends and wear your ratty jeans and your Toledo Mud Hens T-shirt."
"That's a relief," Francie said. "I don't have to grow up?"
"Not until the minute you're ready."

[Damilola · Rating 3 out of 5]

A short read on different women's menarche stories. Ranging from stories of embarrassment to stories of joy, the book was light and drew me to introspection about my own first period story. It made me relive my own feelings about my body and coming of age as a young woman at that age. It also helps me to be mindful of creating an environment that is light and helpful to young women who are starting their period. Looking forward to finding books that can help me best understand how to start this conversation.

[Lynda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wish I had this book when I was 13. Answered all the questions that all girls have.

[Eva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pro mě to bylo osvěžující čtení. Samozřejmě jsem sama vzpomínala, jak všechno probíhalo v mém případě, a zjistila jsem, že můj příspěvek do této knihy by byl poměrně stručný, protože ze své první menstruace si toho moc nepamatuji :-D. Příběhy ostatních žen mě bavilo číst. Některé mě rozesmutnily, n��které pobavily. Líbilo se mi, že o první menstruaci do této knihy napsaly ženy napříč kulturami a napříč zeměkoulí. Jistě, chtělo by to ještě rozšířit, ale někde se začít musí, že?

[Stacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel inspired to write my “first period” story (we’ll see if that happens). But I love the idea. Period stories across time and culture, normalizing the topic!

[Erin Reilly-Sanders · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I liked so much about this book was not the book itself, but what the book does. The book is nice in general- attractive binding,k a good variety of short stories, information about each author, often with humourous quips, and even the year at the beginning of each story so that the reader can begin to place them within a chronology. The editing seemed well done, with several little editor's notes at the ends of various stories that briefly added to the whole without getting in the way. But all of that is besides the big point. What the book did, at least to me, is make me want to talk about it. It, as in the book, the women in the book, the girls, now women that I've known, my period, my mom's period. And I think this is a great book to talk about. I don't think that there is anyone out there who My Little Red Book is not appropriate for- prepubescent girls, women, girls getting their period, mothers, dad, boys, grandparents. While dealing with similar issues as Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues, this book is more gentle, less controversial, and less confrontational- Just a simple presentation of true stories that describe a variety of experiences. What one takes away from the book is not determined by the authors, or even the editor. Instead, it makes you think and ask yourself how you feel about the issues the women and girls in the book come across. But all the same, this book deals with the shame that is experienced by many women with all kinds of sexual issues, not the least of which is menstruation. Ever since a little girl at church told me that "down there" was "dirty," I've been thinking about what our society can do to help. I think this book is a good step toward positive acknowledgment of all the bits of being female. While it's still not easy for me, I've been trying to let this book help me, particularly as a vehicle for conversation, feel more comfortable talking with others about menstruation and other issues. My aspiration is to menstruate shamelessly.

[Freda Mans-Labianca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book, that is perfect if you have a daughter and are unsure how to approach the subject of menstruating.
I rather appreciated all the stories, since being a woman I sympathize. I, too, have a red book story;

I was 2 weeks shy of my 11th birthday, and went to the bathroom. As I was going, I noticed blood. Of course I knew what a period was, my mom had used a tampon in front of me once when I was small, and I asked a lot of questions, but it still didn't prepare me for what I saw.
I screamed bloody murder, and my mother came in. She must've known the dreaded scream and what it meant, since she just rushed in, reached under the vanity and handed me the box of tampons. She looks at me and said, "Inside the box is in insert, read it!", and with that she walked out, closing the door behind her.
I did what I was told, though it did take a while, I was crying and it made it hard to read and comprehend.
Needless to say, I figured it out. Though, it must have been in slightly wrong, the first few times were uncomfortable.

This is the kind of stories that are in the book. There is even a wonderful story, more article style, from Gloria Steinem that is fabulous, on PAGE 124.
I HIGHLY recommend this one to all my females out there, and your daughters 10+. It is important they know what is coming, before it does. Remember how you felt, then you will see why.

[Bobbie Crawford · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Little Red Book
Edited By: Rachel Kauder Nalebuff
Published By: Twelve, an imprint of Grand Central Publishing, 2009, First Edition, 240 pages, hardcover
ISBN 978-0446546362

My Little Red Book is one of the most honest, soul-bearing story collaborations that I have ever had the good fortune to read. When I heard about this book I was instantly intrigued. What woman hasn’t at some point, felt embarrassment or felt somewhat stigmatized by their monthly flow? I know there have been many times that I disliked being female because of the ‘monthly appearance’ that cramped by style, literally! As I read this book, I was really delighted to read about women’s accounts of their periods; I didn’t enjoy the painful parts obviously, but I could relate. The differences in cultural beliefs and how the first periods were treated along with how the women were treated; reading about...


**Please follow the link to read the whole review:
http://bookreviewsbybobbie.wordpress....

[Nevaeh]

This immaculate safe haven is a middle finger for all things considered taboo. the abundance of beautiful menstrual stories coming from empowering, resilient women all around the world. From Ironic to embarrassing and everything all in-between this book brings it all -- what was considered disgusting turns meticulously beautiful. I couldn't pick a favorite character because female is the beckoning call to my circulatory system. You can't dismiss the art in the ink of the pages. every sentence, every metaphor, simile, and phrase intricated with passion that wield feminism. It's a pivotal and ravishing way to correspond first-period feelings, stories, and memories.

[Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This collection of stories about first periods is a great read for women of all ages. The recollections are wonderfully diverse. We had girls who eagerly anticipated their periods, girls who dreaded their periods arrival, and girls who had no idea what hit them. I loved how this collection neither overstates or undermines the importance of this event in a young woman's life. Any woman who has ever menstruated will surely find something to relate to in this book.

[Meagan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciated that this book encouraged me to ask my family and friends about their first periods and led to some positive discussions around menstruation!

Positives:
The stories collected in this anthology were wonderfully diverse in both walks of life, decades, ages, and tone. Some made me laugh, others had me feeling frustrated along side the woman that wrote it. Reading the entry from Tamora Pierce was a special treat for me. My favourite story was called "Hot Dog on a String".

Critiques:
I would have formatted this differently: the order of the stories didn't fit any rhyme or reason. I suspect it was in an order that was meaningful to the editor but not me as a reader. Also each entry is headed with a title and year but we don't get the name or desciption of the author until the end. Having that all upfront would have given some much needed context for the stories. Also a big grievance for me personally was that the Introduction claimed that "every woman remembers her first period" - uh, no! I don't! And that made me feel alienated right at the start of the book. Another contributor in the anthology also shared that she doesn’t remember her first period either, so why was that line included at the top of the anthology?

[Jenn McKee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this because I'm writing a story about period positivity for tweens, and this had been on my shelf for years, so I thought I'd finally check it out. I would have like to read a greater diversity of perspectives, though I am glad that women from different generations were represented (it's intriguing to see how options and attitudes evolved over time); and some entries, in my opinion, weren't notable enough to merit inclusion. Even so, on the whole, the overall effect is that it got me thinking about how every menstruating person has their own "first" story, but because periods have been shrouded in shame and silence for centuries, most of us haven't heard many of them. So if nothing else, I'm glad this kind of book is out there, pressing us toward more openness, and a thus healthy embrace of our bodies.

[Jo Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was given this book as a joke from friends who know I have hated my period since the very first time it appeared until the happy day my uterus was cut from my body due to the start of cancer. (I'm fine, thanks.)
This book is 40-some women recalling their first periods. I would love to be in touch with all the young girls who couldn't wait to get their first periods and ask them if they still greet each month with joy and delight as they did the first time. Bet not. The essay by Gloria Steinem, "If Men Could Menstruate" is hysterical and oh, so true. Seek it out and share.
The book's saving grace is, the author has donated proceeds from this book to aid girls in countries (especially Africa) that have no access to feminine products OR sexual education. Five stars to Ms. Nalebuff for her generosity.

[Sequella Coleman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading these stories as a post menopausal women that works with adolescent young ladies made me laugh out loud as they brought back memories. I also thought of the middle school girls that I would want to read many of the stories preferably with their mothers.

Although I have connections to the editor and several of the authors I didn’t know about the project. However, my story is there in part … I think most women will find themselves in at least one of these vignettes.

So happy to have raised boys and that those days are behind me!!

[Lewis Albert Stephen blower · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like this book because it helps me understand things that I don't know any more but sometimes i.will read it in class of I had it but it is on my tablet so is everyone else she still liked it
Love from nicole💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💋💋💋💋💕💕💜💜💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘👌👌👌👌
Love it so much that why I have loads of writing
I'm good now I wish had the book right now but I have rosier my daughter out she is so naughty 💗💗💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💝💝💝💝

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a fun book to read! I enjoyed so many of the stories, especially seeing the contrast from females in the 1930s and those in the late 1990s. Many parts made me laugh out loud, some phrases I still think of and giggle ever so slightly. One thing I found very interesting was how the males were always to go play "ball" or have a longer recess while females were taught about menstruation and their bodies; I found that consistent throughout the decades. Overall, such a fun read!

[Laura Cobrinik · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Rachel Kauder Nalebuff's book as an older adult. It basically is a collection of short stories by various authors on their memories of when they first started to menstruate. A good book to give a girl as she starts her journey as a woman.


Laura Cobrinik
Boonton Towsnhip, NJ 07005

[Emily Leibke · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book for a college course and thought it was so neat and unlike any other book I’ve read before. I wish I would’ve read this book growing up because it would’ve been very beneficial and inspirational to me!

[Esmy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A cute little book :)

[Meridith Aronsky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I only read Meg Cabot's story:)

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

To be honest, I had no idea what this was about and I picked it for the cover. It seems like a good book to get a young teen.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

Many stories repeated the same thing. Doesn’t make great reading, but I guess it’s sort of comforting that so many women have similar stories.

[Charleen Tomlinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read for any age or gender, informative and inspiring!

[Sandiebeaches71]

I intend to have my daughter read this book. For support.

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting snapshot into the lives of several generations of women from a diversity of backgrounds, but I wish it was more...fun? Very dry.