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Alone with Others: An Existential Approach to Buddhism
This uniquely contemporary guide to understanding the timeless message of Buddhism, and in particular its relevance in actual human relations, was inspired by Shantideva's 'Guide To The Bodhisattva's Way Of Life', which the author translated into English, the oral instructions of living Buddhist masters, Heidegger's classic 'Being and Time', and the writings of the Christian theologians Paul Tillich and John MacQuarrie.
144 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1983
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
January 13, 2013
I have been tired lately and not so well. I have opened myself to others and they have done what seems to pass for normal these days and I have been disappointed and hurt. As is my wont in any of those circumstances I experience a strong urge to withdraw behind my walls both physical and psychological and curse the human race in general and the offending parties in particular. At best I want nothing to do with people and at worst I want to rip off arms and legs and if I really give it a run the fantasies based on experience in combat kick in and I begin to entertain murder as an option. Not really, but that does reflect the extremity to which the aversion in me can rise.
Now I love to wallow in that shit, but unfortunately for the monster in me I have chosen another path and if all the work I have done counts for anything and the direction I have taken is to be true for me I have to let all that go as limiting to my spiritual growth. Not only do I simply become one of those whom I, in my righteous indignation, despise I cut myself off from the light.
Since I began this journey nearly six years ago I have often found that the message comes into my hand when I am most tightly wound up in a hard place. That has been the case here. I know that to move towards my personal liberation from the bondage of self, to experience the peace and gladness of life which I have glimpsed from time to time, I must be with others, extending love and compassion equally to all no matter what. This has been the task for me now for over a year, and it has not proven to be an easy one.
Batchelor's message here is timely and as always inspiring. Thankfully because today I need That.
Now I love to wallow in that shit, but unfortunately for the monster in me I have chosen another path and if all the work I have done counts for anything and the direction I have taken is to be true for me I have to let all that go as limiting to my spiritual growth. Not only do I simply become one of those whom I, in my righteous indignation, despise I cut myself off from the light.
Since I began this journey nearly six years ago I have often found that the message comes into my hand when I am most tightly wound up in a hard place. That has been the case here. I know that to move towards my personal liberation from the bondage of self, to experience the peace and gladness of life which I have glimpsed from time to time, I must be with others, extending love and compassion equally to all no matter what. This has been the task for me now for over a year, and it has not proven to be an easy one.
Batchelor's message here is timely and as always inspiring. Thankfully because today I need That.
May 4, 2020
I am alone, and yet not alone, for I am together on this planet with trillions of living creatures, all as eager as myself for happiness, all as afraid of pain and sorrow as I am, all presumably the same right to grasp happiness and flee pain and sorrow to the maximum possible extent. How ought I to relate to these fellow sentient beings in a positive, constructive way?
Big questions and this book is full of them. Of course, with a subtitle that includes "Existentialist Approach...", I expected it. Not an entry-level text or survey, this book assumes a lot of philosophical and theoretical knowledge, and a good working history of Buddhism.
October 28, 2012
I originally started this book for a project for school I stopped reading it because I got bored, in fact
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I am bored. Very very bored, so bored in fact that thinking about this book makes me bored. Does Batchelor understand Buddhism? Really it is tough to say since he seems to be trying so hard to make sure buddhism sounds non-religious and modern that he has forgotten to say much about it at all. And his refusal to pick a buddhism inherently undermines him simply because if you don't pick one nothing means anything at all.
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I'm sure people would like this book...I will be sticking with Brad Warner.
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I am bored. Very very bored, so bored in fact that thinking about this book makes me bored. Does Batchelor understand Buddhism? Really it is tough to say since he seems to be trying so hard to make sure buddhism sounds non-religious and modern that he has forgotten to say much about it at all. And his refusal to pick a buddhism inherently undermines him simply because if you don't pick one nothing means anything at all.
...
I'm sure people would like this book...I will be sticking with Brad Warner.
January 31, 2023
I can’t believe this book was written over forty years ago! I have absolutely loved Stephen Batchelor’s more recent offerings, which made me curious for this one, and conscious as I read it of what an interesting and genuine journey he has been on. He was only in his late 20s when he wrote this, and you can tell, in comparison with his later stuff. But that makes it no less valid, for aren’t all our thoughts situated in a place and time.
At university in the late 80s, I had the pleasure of reading most of the western existentialists Batchelor engages with here, so this book transported me into a kind of time warp to my own 20s, and the intellectual excitement of trying to wrap my head around words and ideas that need to be read slowly several times to sink in. It all felt rather ‘male’ in its expression, but at the time there was not a lot else available. When I did my own PhD as a mature student, I was very committed to trying to express complex ideas in more penetrable language. Not to make the ideas simple, necessarily, but to have confidence in my own academic credibility and not to hide treasure inside beautiful verbal gorse bushes. I do occasionally like sticking my hands in those gorse bushes however, and this book was fun from that point of view. But I think the fact that Batchelor’s later books are easier to read is a sign of his growing up in confidence and maturity, rather than their content being any less complex.
In terms of content, it was fascinating, though not new territory for me. I think it would be written a bit differently now. The last forty plus years have changed the tone of these kinds of discussions for better and worse. But the deep human questions remain, as does the existential angst. To contemplate another person’s reflections upon them is a challenging and helpful exercise and I feel grateful for it. And exhausted by the inner work! 🤣
One of the things that struck me - which is really an aside - when Batchelor was describing human society as distorted around ‘having’ (a very helpful unpacking of it), I found myself aching for how much simpler my wants seemed in those days, before we even thought we needed home computers, let alone smart technology, and 24hr news cycles, and branded identities in global social media. Wah! Getting older has changed some of my attitudes to ‘having’, in all kinds of ways which are hard to define as good or bad … I’m finding most things less certain than they ever used to be. 🤣
At university in the late 80s, I had the pleasure of reading most of the western existentialists Batchelor engages with here, so this book transported me into a kind of time warp to my own 20s, and the intellectual excitement of trying to wrap my head around words and ideas that need to be read slowly several times to sink in. It all felt rather ‘male’ in its expression, but at the time there was not a lot else available. When I did my own PhD as a mature student, I was very committed to trying to express complex ideas in more penetrable language. Not to make the ideas simple, necessarily, but to have confidence in my own academic credibility and not to hide treasure inside beautiful verbal gorse bushes. I do occasionally like sticking my hands in those gorse bushes however, and this book was fun from that point of view. But I think the fact that Batchelor’s later books are easier to read is a sign of his growing up in confidence and maturity, rather than their content being any less complex.
In terms of content, it was fascinating, though not new territory for me. I think it would be written a bit differently now. The last forty plus years have changed the tone of these kinds of discussions for better and worse. But the deep human questions remain, as does the existential angst. To contemplate another person’s reflections upon them is a challenging and helpful exercise and I feel grateful for it. And exhausted by the inner work! 🤣
One of the things that struck me - which is really an aside - when Batchelor was describing human society as distorted around ‘having’ (a very helpful unpacking of it), I found myself aching for how much simpler my wants seemed in those days, before we even thought we needed home computers, let alone smart technology, and 24hr news cycles, and branded identities in global social media. Wah! Getting older has changed some of my attitudes to ‘having’, in all kinds of ways which are hard to define as good or bad … I’m finding most things less certain than they ever used to be. 🤣
January 17, 2013
This was a good book for me as a young Zen student, filled with doubts about religion, ritual, and hierarchy. I felt quite comfortable with Batchelor's secular/existentialist (b)uddhism. It probably influenced me to go to a Zen monastery to train. For this, I am grateful. Over the years I have had to drop my ideas about practice in order to practice. Mr. Batchelor's more recent books don't show a similar shift. While this puzzles me a bit, I am encouraged by his ability to bring unsuspecting people into this difficult practice.
June 24, 2018
Decent views on different modes in which humans go about their day, and the ultimate answer to that: existential Buddhism.
May 31, 2020
Another re-read but it's been years.
A good look at modern buddhism.
A good look at modern buddhism.
October 18, 2012
I'll put this book alone with the other insipidly banal mistakes i've read. Though the fact that Mr. Batchelor not only quotes but attempts to link the philosophies of Dostoevsky, Nietzsche, Heidegger, Jaspers and Sartre (the most notable) to the prolific cut-and-pasting of fundamentally different branches of continental philosophy to establish what he claims to be Mahayana Buddhism (I.e a middle way between nihilism and eternalism) within 130 pages. He does however triumph in distorting each random excerpt, from Dostoevsky and Sartre to T.S. Eliot and R.D. Lang, to the point where I not sure if this is a clever mockery of existentialism; or, maybe the simple truth is that the most profound axioms are recited poetically faux-naïf as s/he surrenders herself to the aphorisms on the preverbal bathroom wall of divine omniscience. (As to no longer to "alone")
Professor Paul Williams, brilliant work Mahayana Buddhism writes: "The Doctrinal Foundations Thus enlightenment comes from ceasing to grasp even the most subtle sources of attachment, and this ceasing to grasp requires seeing those things which could serve as sources of attachment as empty, mere conceptual constructs. All things are empty. On the level of what is an ultimate, primary existent there is nothing. On such a level therefore there is an endless absence, an endless emptiness."
One last question, Mr. Batchelor:
Is the tathagatagarbha implying that enlightenment is predeterminable, but we as laymen taint and shroud its purity though the objectification of daily life which it demands or is it necessary to begin corrupted in order that we can see through the impurity of our existence?
Professor Paul Williams, brilliant work Mahayana Buddhism writes: "The Doctrinal Foundations Thus enlightenment comes from ceasing to grasp even the most subtle sources of attachment, and this ceasing to grasp requires seeing those things which could serve as sources of attachment as empty, mere conceptual constructs. All things are empty. On the level of what is an ultimate, primary existent there is nothing. On such a level therefore there is an endless absence, an endless emptiness."
One last question, Mr. Batchelor:
Is the tathagatagarbha implying that enlightenment is predeterminable, but we as laymen taint and shroud its purity though the objectification of daily life which it demands or is it necessary to begin corrupted in order that we can see through the impurity of our existence?
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April 9, 2016"Our present situation is fundamentally similar to that of the Siddhartha. In both cases life has come to be dominated by the unrelenting forces of material and secular values. The concern of man is utterly absorbed and lost in the depersonalised mass of the particular entities of the world. In both cases an existential reaction, motivated by a deeper and more compelling awareness of the question of life as a whole, has arisen. The story of the Buddha indicates that his seeing an old man, a sick man, a corpse, and a wandering mendicant, impelling him to renounce his palatial life. This reaction is evident nowadays in the questioning of our basic values, our notion of progress, and our attitude towards technology. It reveals itself in Kierkegaard's study of anxiety, Marx's concern with alienation, Heidegger's analysis of inauthenticity and death. It is expressed throughout modern literature in the terrifying imagery of Kafka, the despair of elliot, and the nauseating pointlessness of life as described by Sartre. In this light, the 'awakening' of the Buddha should be seen as the actualisation of a meaningful answer to the questions implied within existence, and the teachings of Buddhism as a description of the processes involved in the realisation of authentic life."
Image (photography): Jennis Cheng Tien Li, 'Let's Be Together, Separately.', 2010
Image (photography): Jennis Cheng Tien Li, 'Let's Be Together, Separately.', 2010
September 1, 2017
I originally picked this up on-sale at a bookstore for the name alone. Not particularly interested in Buddhism, I started it more so for the existentialism aspect and insight into human relations. Many of the concepts, I found, were articulated clearly and communicated in such a way, one doesn't need to be thoroughly familiar with the Buddhist religion to make the connections to every day life. The text prompted so many "Mmhm" and "A-ha" moments, I travelled with a pen specifically to underline and make notes in the margins. I'd definitely recommend.
September 8, 2012
Quite a convoluted style of writing that I found took a lot of concentration to keep on top of but this made me really focus on the text, often re-reading passages a few times until I felt I'd fully grasped them, so that I ended up absorbing the book more deeply than if it had been an easier read. Thankfully, the book was short enough for me to read it this carefully without giving up on it as I really appreciated it's teachings.
November 18, 2016
It is what is says it is, which is an Existential take on Buddhism. It is most refreshing that Batchelor provides a less dogmatic expression of Buddhism. Through the symbolism and institutional structure that comes with religion the message can be lost. Batchelor helps to express with the use of a secular examination.
November 21, 2021
The first entry in Stephen Batchelor’s illustrious bibliography, and also the shortest (if it were fiction, it would almost certainly be classified as a novella rather than a novel), Alone With Others, published in 1983, serves as a fascinating preface to his later, more well-known books such as Buddhism Without Beliefs (1997) and After Buddhism (2015).
True to its subtitle, “An Existential Approach to Buddhism”, the book’s early chapters (there are only six) delve deeply into the philosophical underpinnings of phenomenology and existentialism. Here a basic familiarity with the ideas of Heidegger, Sartre, Gabriel Marcel, and Paul Tillich will prove helpful to the reader, but not essential – Batchelor’s intellectual ease with these concepts carries over into his writing, and the connections he draws between them and some fundamental tenets of Buddhism are readily accessible even to those who are not so philosophically inclined.
Batchelor’s overriding concern in this book is to demonstrate how Buddhism offers us a pathway to what he calls an “optimum mode of being”. This mode, unsurprisingly, turns out to be exactly what the title “Alone with Others” refers to – being fully aware of one’s inescapable condition of aloneness while simultaneously being fully engaged in the conditions of the world to which one inescapably belongs.
The clarity that emerges from probing deeply into this existential paradox is more than worth the time it takes to read and reflect upon this early piece of writing from one of contemporary Buddhism’s most acclaimed scholars and teachers.
True to its subtitle, “An Existential Approach to Buddhism”, the book’s early chapters (there are only six) delve deeply into the philosophical underpinnings of phenomenology and existentialism. Here a basic familiarity with the ideas of Heidegger, Sartre, Gabriel Marcel, and Paul Tillich will prove helpful to the reader, but not essential – Batchelor’s intellectual ease with these concepts carries over into his writing, and the connections he draws between them and some fundamental tenets of Buddhism are readily accessible even to those who are not so philosophically inclined.
Batchelor’s overriding concern in this book is to demonstrate how Buddhism offers us a pathway to what he calls an “optimum mode of being”. This mode, unsurprisingly, turns out to be exactly what the title “Alone with Others” refers to – being fully aware of one’s inescapable condition of aloneness while simultaneously being fully engaged in the conditions of the world to which one inescapably belongs.
The clarity that emerges from probing deeply into this existential paradox is more than worth the time it takes to read and reflect upon this early piece of writing from one of contemporary Buddhism’s most acclaimed scholars and teachers.
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July 30, 2025Definitely an advanced text. This very much feels like a Buddhist scholar talking to other Buddhist scholars, with just enough explanation of terms and ideas to (maybe) appeal to an educated layperson. It basically feels like a master's thesis, with some internal "why do our schools of Buddhism differ" discussion that probably only Buddhist scholars care about. But, I did take away from it some nuggets of interest, in between my eyes skating over all the hardcore philosophy. So, would not recommend this for beginners or those just looking to get into Buddhism, but it's a more interesting read for those more deeply read in Buddhist theory and philosophy.
For a more accessible treatment of solitude in Buddhism, I'd suggest "The Art of Solitude" by this author.
For a more accessible treatment of solitude in Buddhism, I'd suggest "The Art of Solitude" by this author.
April 5, 2018
This book has some great parts, but it's mostly a really boringly worded experiment to talk about buddhism with the language of existentialism. Both of those I prefer to be talked about with just everyday language instead of obscure terminology.
Probably reading the authors newer books is a better idea.
I've only read Confessions of a Buddhist Atheist and it's one of the best books I ever read, and despite being boring, this book still has some really great insights in it, so I think this is probably the worst Batchelor gets so in the end this just made me more sure I want to read everything he wrote.
Probably reading the authors newer books is a better idea.
I've only read Confessions of a Buddhist Atheist and it's one of the best books I ever read, and despite being boring, this book still has some really great insights in it, so I think this is probably the worst Batchelor gets so in the end this just made me more sure I want to read everything he wrote.
July 30, 2021
A dense book, and the author uses the word "ontological" about 3 times per page. Might be considered a 95 theses for Buddhism as Batchelor calls for a living faith beyond dogma and ritual that can be applied to daily life in the historic period where the reader finds himself. If you stick with it and puzzle out his long sentences, you will find explicitly stated aims and methods to guide you on the path to enlightenment.
This book was followed more than decade later by Buddhism Without Beliefs, a more easily readable and more practical guide to Westerners trying to follow the eightfold way.
This book was followed more than decade later by Buddhism Without Beliefs, a more easily readable and more practical guide to Westerners trying to follow the eightfold way.
July 11, 2024
This book has some great parts, but it's mostly a really boringly worded experiment to talk about buddhism with the language of existentialism. Both of those I prefer to be talked about with just everyday language instead of obscure terminology.
Probably reading the authors newer books is a better idea.
I've only read Confessions of a Buddhist Atheist and it's one of the best books I ever read, and despite being boring, this book still has some really great insights in it, so I think this is probably the worst Batchelor gets so in the end this just made me more sure I want to read everything he wrote.
Probably reading the authors newer books is a better idea.
I've only read Confessions of a Buddhist Atheist and it's one of the best books I ever read, and despite being boring, this book still has some really great insights in it, so I think this is probably the worst Batchelor gets so in the end this just made me more sure I want to read everything he wrote.
January 15, 2026
It had good ideas, good concepts or good tries to make it accessible. The author seems to be using Buddhist terminology without being implicit about their meaning, sentences with too many words that mean little.
I read it to deepen my understanding of the philosophy of Buddhism and it did that, but without further enlightenment . It was a quick read even with some “technical” and repetitive words.
I read it to deepen my understanding of the philosophy of Buddhism and it did that, but without further enlightenment . It was a quick read even with some “technical” and repetitive words.
February 10, 2026
the contradiction of being alone with others
Very important discussion on the non dual relation of the individual aloneness and constant relation to others that marks the fluid nature of man’s existence and how containing both sides of that existence is vital to maintaining a relevant form of Buddhism. Slowed down during discussions of Heidegger phenomenology concepts, but ends very strongly
Very important discussion on the non dual relation of the individual aloneness and constant relation to others that marks the fluid nature of man’s existence and how containing both sides of that existence is vital to maintaining a relevant form of Buddhism. Slowed down during discussions of Heidegger phenomenology concepts, but ends very strongly
September 20, 2018
When I told Stephen this was one of my favourites, he dismissed it as mere "juvenalia", but I loved this mesh of existentialism and Buddhism. The time is now and the action is clear within existentialist imperatives. This book is a key to Stephen's later work, and Secular Buddhism as a thing.
December 12, 2018
I'm interested in philosophy in general, with particular interests in existentialism and Buddhism; and I enjoyed this book. If you share my interests you will probably share my enjoyment of this book.
July 2, 2019
Existentialism AND Buddhism?! This is right up my alley! It's gonna be amazing!
I gave up about 1/3 of the way through because the writing was so dry. Lots of jargon, passive voice...just needlessly complex prose that unfortunately buried the content.
I gave up about 1/3 of the way through because the writing was so dry. Lots of jargon, passive voice...just needlessly complex prose that unfortunately buried the content.
October 2, 2019
A short but impassioned interpretation of Buddhism using the concepts and language of existential philosophy, primarily Heidegger’s. Compelling though clearly focused on intellectual understanding rather than Buddhist practice.
December 6, 2018
Good but difficult. I'll need to reread this one.
June 30, 2020
I should have stopped right after reading the lukewarm (at best) forward.....
September 16, 2022
I read about 3/4 of the book and dropped it.
Why do you have to be so nerdy about it? Interesting topic, but reads like a thesis.
Why do you have to be so nerdy about it? Interesting topic, but reads like a thesis.
May 12, 2023
One of the most boring, dry, and irrelevant books I've read. It's definitely a book best left for academics.
May 25, 2023
It could have been better.
July 16, 2023
Very dry
For a book about bridging the gap between academics Buddhism and practicing ancient Buddhism for a modern audience it's awfully dry. Great to put yourself asleep
For a book about bridging the gap between academics Buddhism and practicing ancient Buddhism for a modern audience it's awfully dry. Great to put yourself asleep
October 25, 2023
While I found the ideas and concepts very interesting, I found the reading quite stale, and sometimes difficult to get through.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews