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Godly Dating 101: Discover the Truth About Relationships in a World That Constantly Lies
How can you be sure you’ve found “the one”? How do you know when it’s time to leave a relationship that’s turning toxic? Godly Dating 101 answers these questions and more in a practical guide that will help young Christians develop authentic and healthy dating relationships. With more than three million followers across Godly Dating 101’s social media accounts, Tovares and Safa Grey hear daily from hundreds of young adults looking for help in their current struggles regarding relationships and purity. Deep down, many Christian young adults are wondering if their relationships are drawing them closer to God or leading them back to the life from which Jesus freed them. Godly Dating 101 addresses what you hear from culture and contrasts it with Scripture. As the authors candidly cover topics like friends with benefits, pornography, masturbation, and other areas that affect future marriages, you gain an understanding that what’s considered normal or “fun” from the world’s perspective may not be God’s will for your life. This encouraging message will empower you to rise out of confusion, toxic environments, and sin so that you can follow Jesus passionately and experience abundant life in Him as you nurture and develop healthy relationships.
208 pages, Paperback
Published September 13, 2022
57 people are currently reading
1835 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
August 22, 2024
This book was written beautifully by a married couple, who are real about their struggles, and dating struggles in the culture today. Definitely would suggest to people are looking for insight on a Godly union. It was a great read and I will continue to reread this book as my journey in life continues. It covers so much and is written with intention while pulling straight from scripture, so you can see where it comes from.
June 20, 2024
such a sweet book and so fruitful!
October 15, 2022
Truly biblical, encouraging and practical
Based on God word this is a scripture based and practical guide for applying God word in relationships. This book makes me want to study the word of God in more depth, it’s so encouraging. If we follow God’s word and lean into his presence we will make wise God-honouring decisions in relationships and in every aspect of our life and won’t fall prey to the cultural pull or unbiblical standards.
Based on God word this is a scripture based and practical guide for applying God word in relationships. This book makes me want to study the word of God in more depth, it’s so encouraging. If we follow God’s word and lean into his presence we will make wise God-honouring decisions in relationships and in every aspect of our life and won’t fall prey to the cultural pull or unbiblical standards.
August 29, 2022
Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for letting me review this book. I really delved into this book and it has some great Biblical pointers. Even when it feels like we’re going nowhere with the dating scene, God is always putting people in our life to help us. We make get off track sometimes by people leading us in the wrong direction but God steers us back into the right direction.
November 15, 2022
Godly Dating 101 is a collaborative dialogue between a husband and wife team who share a burning passion for the Lord and vision for helping others in Godly (Christian relationships). What I love about this book is that it really dives into the nitty gritty reality of dating and does not shy away from topics that the church often evades; lust, pornography, boundaries, ect. I grew up in the Christian church, and while I was very familiar with the sex talk, and why it is perserved for marriage only, my church youth ministry neglected to discuss various other aspects of relationships such as establishing boundaries, and dealing with lust.
Too often, we as Christians assume that because we are dating someone within a church setting that these problems won’t arise. Sadly, sin such as pornography, lust, sexual temptation are prevalent even in the church settings, and it often times goes unchecked because while we may have been given the “sex talk, we may have never been taught what are Godly boundaries when dating someone, and may look to hollywood/tv/media or other secular examples to what we think relationships should look like. Or we may be well aware we have a struggle in these areas and be ashamed. We may then choose to hide our sin or baggage (until it leaks out in our relationships) because we are afraid of being exposed and judged rather than seeking spiritual accountability from others who love and care about us, and have the wisdom and ability to help, and of course, ultimately surrendering our weaknesses to the only one who has the power to set us free, which is Jesus Christ.
Psalm 107:14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart.
2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,
John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed
I love that throughout this book, Tovares and Safa are very open and honest on their individual journeys before and during the course of their marriage, and the unique struggles and challenges they faced as individuals and as a couple. Tovares discusses how pornography and lust were major battles for him in his past even while growing up in the church. He mentions how he and Safa were introduced years before in the church setting and they had tried dating and it didn’t work out because lust was at the center of his motives
“The first time I saw Safa, it was a moment I’ll never forget. But seeing how beautiful she was didn’t make her marriage material. Instead I pursued her because I found her physically attractive. However, I am thankful that God protected her from me. God knew my immature and lustful ways wouldn’t have been beneficial to her life, so He didn’t allow it to work the first time I tried. We remained friends through the years, but I noticed that the girls I entertained after Safa weren’t working out how I thought they would. I realized later that those relationships couldn’t work, because I was connecting to those women out of lust and other superficial reasons. I learned firsthand that if your relationship doesn’t have God as a foundation, it won’t last. Purpose outweighs Passion.”
Tovares and Safa very clearly define in this book what a Godly relationship looks like and what specific traits to look out for when seeking a godly partner. Is the fruit of their character exhibiting the fruit of the holy spirit (gentleness, peace, love, joy, patience, kindness)? Do they attend church every Sunday and every small group imaginable out of genuine love for Jesus, or to give an impression to others? Do they spend time in the Word and personal devotion to the Lord? Do they value and encourage your personal devotion towards the Lord, or are they becoming a spiritual hindrance and distraction? Are they leading you closer or drifting you away from Him?
Also they clearly define that the purpose of dating is not for fun, but made solely for marriage, which they describe the purpose as building up one another’s spirit, that strengthens you when adversity hits, that draws you closer to your purpose, and ultimately closer to Him.
“Who you marry will help you determine who you worship. Like a connecting flight, they will take you somewhere and you want your final destination together to be located firmly in God’s presence.”
Most importantly this book, really highlights the importance of spending time in God’s word and presence on a daily basis before seeking anything else, because at the end of this life whether we’ve remained single or not, it all draws back to our most important relationship, with Jesus Christ, whom we are made to exist for as His eternal worshiper.
Whether you’re new to relationships and curious about dating and marriage, or have dated in the past, ready to date, or currently in a relationship, this book offers a lot of thoughtful, God-inspired wisdom and guidance on how to have a long lasting relationship that ultimately brings glory back to God- the One whom we are all ultimately made from and for.
Too often, we as Christians assume that because we are dating someone within a church setting that these problems won’t arise. Sadly, sin such as pornography, lust, sexual temptation are prevalent even in the church settings, and it often times goes unchecked because while we may have been given the “sex talk, we may have never been taught what are Godly boundaries when dating someone, and may look to hollywood/tv/media or other secular examples to what we think relationships should look like. Or we may be well aware we have a struggle in these areas and be ashamed. We may then choose to hide our sin or baggage (until it leaks out in our relationships) because we are afraid of being exposed and judged rather than seeking spiritual accountability from others who love and care about us, and have the wisdom and ability to help, and of course, ultimately surrendering our weaknesses to the only one who has the power to set us free, which is Jesus Christ.
Psalm 107:14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart.
2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,
John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed
I love that throughout this book, Tovares and Safa are very open and honest on their individual journeys before and during the course of their marriage, and the unique struggles and challenges they faced as individuals and as a couple. Tovares discusses how pornography and lust were major battles for him in his past even while growing up in the church. He mentions how he and Safa were introduced years before in the church setting and they had tried dating and it didn’t work out because lust was at the center of his motives
“The first time I saw Safa, it was a moment I’ll never forget. But seeing how beautiful she was didn’t make her marriage material. Instead I pursued her because I found her physically attractive. However, I am thankful that God protected her from me. God knew my immature and lustful ways wouldn’t have been beneficial to her life, so He didn’t allow it to work the first time I tried. We remained friends through the years, but I noticed that the girls I entertained after Safa weren’t working out how I thought they would. I realized later that those relationships couldn’t work, because I was connecting to those women out of lust and other superficial reasons. I learned firsthand that if your relationship doesn’t have God as a foundation, it won’t last. Purpose outweighs Passion.”
Tovares and Safa very clearly define in this book what a Godly relationship looks like and what specific traits to look out for when seeking a godly partner. Is the fruit of their character exhibiting the fruit of the holy spirit (gentleness, peace, love, joy, patience, kindness)? Do they attend church every Sunday and every small group imaginable out of genuine love for Jesus, or to give an impression to others? Do they spend time in the Word and personal devotion to the Lord? Do they value and encourage your personal devotion towards the Lord, or are they becoming a spiritual hindrance and distraction? Are they leading you closer or drifting you away from Him?
Also they clearly define that the purpose of dating is not for fun, but made solely for marriage, which they describe the purpose as building up one another’s spirit, that strengthens you when adversity hits, that draws you closer to your purpose, and ultimately closer to Him.
“Who you marry will help you determine who you worship. Like a connecting flight, they will take you somewhere and you want your final destination together to be located firmly in God’s presence.”
Most importantly this book, really highlights the importance of spending time in God’s word and presence on a daily basis before seeking anything else, because at the end of this life whether we’ve remained single or not, it all draws back to our most important relationship, with Jesus Christ, whom we are made to exist for as His eternal worshiper.
Whether you’re new to relationships and curious about dating and marriage, or have dated in the past, ready to date, or currently in a relationship, this book offers a lot of thoughtful, God-inspired wisdom and guidance on how to have a long lasting relationship that ultimately brings glory back to God- the One whom we are all ultimately made from and for.
December 5, 2022
The best book I’ve read about Godly dating! 10/10, I learned so much
February 22, 2023
This book presents a few key ideas that will stick with me forever. Ideas that I can't say I've heard brought up like that in other dating books/pods.
1. The idea that finding "the one" results in automatic happiness and freedom from the "Hell" that is singleness. In reality, there is more that is needed than finding the "one" to have a flourishing marriage.
3 That impurity is more than just sex it includes any negative or sinful thought in your heart. The book does a good job of breaking down just about every instance of scripture that defines what purity and impurity is.
4. We can't "earn" a spouse...a spouse isn't some reward you get for Christian behavior. We should strive to be pure to "please God, not to get a spouse". The authors point out that the primary purpose of avoiding fornication is about pleasing God not making ourselves more appealable to a spouse. Avoiding sexual sin brings us closer to God.
5. Gen 2:25 breaks down how Adam and Eve were naked together and not ashamed. The authors bring out the truth that it is the will of God for us to enjoy sexual relations in the right context (marriage). That it's a beautiful thing, not an evil or bad thing. Yet in youth groups across America, sex is portrayed as this horrendous act that should be avoided at all times and this causes confusion and resentment against the church for young people because they try it out and end up enjoying it.
Conclusion: Overall this was a really good read. However, if you have listened to the podcasts, a number of what's presented in the book will be familiar to you.
Con: Only negative was I wish the authors continued with the back-and-forth thing they had going on. Initially, one chapter would be written by Tovares Grey and the next by Safa grey. This created a unique reading experience where I was able to compare/contrast the different communicative styles of the two, and I was afforded different perspectives as well.
This patterned stopped kind of early on in the book.
1. The idea that finding "the one" results in automatic happiness and freedom from the "Hell" that is singleness. In reality, there is more that is needed than finding the "one" to have a flourishing marriage.
3 That impurity is more than just sex it includes any negative or sinful thought in your heart. The book does a good job of breaking down just about every instance of scripture that defines what purity and impurity is.
4. We can't "earn" a spouse...a spouse isn't some reward you get for Christian behavior. We should strive to be pure to "please God, not to get a spouse". The authors point out that the primary purpose of avoiding fornication is about pleasing God not making ourselves more appealable to a spouse. Avoiding sexual sin brings us closer to God.
5. Gen 2:25 breaks down how Adam and Eve were naked together and not ashamed. The authors bring out the truth that it is the will of God for us to enjoy sexual relations in the right context (marriage). That it's a beautiful thing, not an evil or bad thing. Yet in youth groups across America, sex is portrayed as this horrendous act that should be avoided at all times and this causes confusion and resentment against the church for young people because they try it out and end up enjoying it.
Conclusion: Overall this was a really good read. However, if you have listened to the podcasts, a number of what's presented in the book will be familiar to you.
Con: Only negative was I wish the authors continued with the back-and-forth thing they had going on. Initially, one chapter would be written by Tovares Grey and the next by Safa grey. This created a unique reading experience where I was able to compare/contrast the different communicative styles of the two, and I was afforded different perspectives as well.
This patterned stopped kind of early on in the book.
June 15, 2024
I’ve been working on my walk with God for the past four years after going through a lot of trials and tribulations in my faith. I was in a relationship that I thought was endgame for me but it was not Godly at all. I started my walk with God again about a year before our relationship started and I was admittedly lukewarm at that time. When we broke up, I realized that I had pushed God to the side to be in the relationship and do some of the things I was doing. I started reading the Bible and finding any minute I could to study God’s word and talk with him. I have recently been trying to get back into the dating pool and have been struggling to find something pure and honest and that follows God’s word. Even on apps that are supposedly for those who want a God-centered relationship it has been a struggle to find someone with that mindset truly. Today, hook up culture is so normalized and this book really went into depth of the dos and don’ts of a relationship and was very biblical about the way the y went about it. The authors stories were not perfect whatsoever but they came together in the name of God for a reason even after going through tribulations in their relationships. This book talks about sex, how we view things now compared to how they are viewed in the Bible, sins and what can lead to sins in a relationship, etc. and was beautifully written.
March 24, 2024
I've followed the Godly dating 101 pages on different social media platforms. I've liked their posts and learnt so much from this couple. Reading this book was a refreshing reminder of some principles I already know, but have not been actively walking in, and some new things I've learnt.
This book is really comprehensive. It touches on a lot of topics on relationships, especially for Christians. I like the fact that the reader reads through the perspective of each spouse and their experiences as singles, a dating couple and then married.
Relationships in this generation has been trivialized and reduced to sex and fun. Books like this give me hope that there are people out there who are actively pursuing God and godly relationships. I recommend 'Godly dating 101' to everyone. Religious and non-religious.
This book is really comprehensive. It touches on a lot of topics on relationships, especially for Christians. I like the fact that the reader reads through the perspective of each spouse and their experiences as singles, a dating couple and then married.
Relationships in this generation has been trivialized and reduced to sex and fun. Books like this give me hope that there are people out there who are actively pursuing God and godly relationships. I recommend 'Godly dating 101' to everyone. Religious and non-religious.
February 22, 2025
So, when I started reading this book I was actually in a couples relationship.
And I stalled after that relationship ended...... But the determination to see it through made me finish it today.
In my season of singleness, I felt like this book was still relevant because it helps keep me focused on what I should be seeking from a relationship in the first place. This book is written from both perspectives of the husband and the wife, and they were so real and so funny and so truthful and just open and honest about their own struggles that it really made it easy for me to stay connected to this book.
I used my highlighter frequently as I was reading and I think at some point I may read it again.
Definitely recommend!
And I stalled after that relationship ended...... But the determination to see it through made me finish it today.
In my season of singleness, I felt like this book was still relevant because it helps keep me focused on what I should be seeking from a relationship in the first place. This book is written from both perspectives of the husband and the wife, and they were so real and so funny and so truthful and just open and honest about their own struggles that it really made it easy for me to stay connected to this book.
I used my highlighter frequently as I was reading and I think at some point I may read it again.
Definitely recommend!
July 11, 2024
I really like this book because it talked on messages that those of us today struggle with when it comes to dating. And I also enjoy that it brings us back to the basics and to the beginning of what dating is about and where it should be headed. I’m not fully sure why I won’t give it all stars. It’s doesn’t scream perfect book but I believe it helps and gives great Christian biblical advice when dating. I think it hits on some common misconceptions about dating to a great extent. I think that’s what I would have liked to see more, which is what are the misconceptions we have about dating? But I think anyone really desiring to date OR is dating right now should have this book!
February 13, 2024
Truly eye opening!
My hand hurts from highlighting so much!
One quote that really stuck out to me and I find is the thesis of the novel reads, “So instead of finding “the one,” we need to ensure we are becoming “the one” ourselves — that we’re becoming someone worth marrying and that we’re growing into our purpose.”
Tovares and Safa Grey explain and use biblical guidance to push us to not only find someone worth marrying but to be someone worth marrying.
I am a firm believer that our purpose in life is to honor God in everything we do, so why don’t we honor Him in our relationships?
My hand hurts from highlighting so much!
One quote that really stuck out to me and I find is the thesis of the novel reads, “So instead of finding “the one,” we need to ensure we are becoming “the one” ourselves — that we’re becoming someone worth marrying and that we’re growing into our purpose.”
Tovares and Safa Grey explain and use biblical guidance to push us to not only find someone worth marrying but to be someone worth marrying.
I am a firm believer that our purpose in life is to honor God in everything we do, so why don’t we honor Him in our relationships?
July 27, 2025
Solid book. There were parts where they basically said the same thing over and over (“purity is about your heart”) but I enjoyed it. Didn’t have as many huge, powerful quotes, but I think that’s because I’ve grown up in a Christian household and my parents have taught me a good bit about dating. A lot of this stuff wasn’t really new to me, as I’ve heard it and used it during my dating relationship. Still would recommend.
January 8, 2026
I appreciate the easy-to-read writing style and thought the husband-and-wife combo writing was unique. However, I feel the book lacked a lot of needed depth considering the topic. Now to be fair to the authors the title itself reveals it would be a pretty basic book. I think there are better relationship books out there, but for a new believer or young believer I think this book would still be beneficial.
September 30, 2022
Such a great read. Very insightful and it touched on some interesting concepts. Thoroughly enjoyed this one.
December 14, 2022
Very encouraging message.
April 27, 2023
i really liked this book it gave great advice about building relationships through god. i would recommend this book to people that are older the are me serious tho.
November 17, 2023
first two chapters were all fine and dandy and then he went down an abstinence rabbit hole for the REST OF THE BOOK
like i literally can't.
like i literally can't.
November 11, 2025
A must read before getting into dating arena
December 29, 2025
Solid book. Biblically sound. Had some good comparisons. I have read a lot of other Christian dating books, so some of it was repetitive. But good reminders overall.
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews