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Draga Zari. Povesti nespuse ale unor femei din Afganistan
Impresionanta si revelatoare, cartea face cunoscuta publicului larg viata plina de vicisitudini a unor femei afgane. Autoarea le da pentru prima oara prilejul sa spuna cu vorbele lor propria poveste: de la foarte tanara mireasa oferita ca plata cu scopul de a pune capat unei dispute intre familii pana la femeia care a tesut toata viata covoare intr-o incapere intunecoasa, plina de praf si de la fata care a fost crescuta ca un baiat pana la vaduva evitata de ceilalti membri ai comunitatii.
Cele treisprezece istorisiri cu profund caracter intim, induiosatoare, triste chiar, dar si datatoare de speranta dezvaluie suferintele si, in acelasi timp, forta unor personaje care fac parte dintr-o societate profund religioasa si traditionala si care, prin curaj, se dovedesc a fi un exemplu pentru femeile de pretutindeni.
O culegere de marturii tulburatoare care infatiseaza luptele si sperantele femeilor din Afganistan. Emotionanta si dureroasa pe alocuri, aceasta carte este, in esenta, un impresionant elogiu adus capacitatii omului de a face fata unor constrangeri inimaginabile. - Khaled Husseini, autorul romanului Vanatorii de zmeie
Povestile cuprinse in Draga Zari ilustreaza suferintele provocate de traditii afgane adanc inradacinate. Din ele transpar insa cutezanta si puterea [femeilor] de a nu ceda. Kargar dezvaluie faptul ca, ascultandu-le pe altele povestindu-si viata, a capatat curajul de a si-o povesti pe a ei. - The Independent
Cele treisprezece istorisiri cu profund caracter intim, induiosatoare, triste chiar, dar si datatoare de speranta dezvaluie suferintele si, in acelasi timp, forta unor personaje care fac parte dintr-o societate profund religioasa si traditionala si care, prin curaj, se dovedesc a fi un exemplu pentru femeile de pretutindeni.
O culegere de marturii tulburatoare care infatiseaza luptele si sperantele femeilor din Afganistan. Emotionanta si dureroasa pe alocuri, aceasta carte este, in esenta, un impresionant elogiu adus capacitatii omului de a face fata unor constrangeri inimaginabile. - Khaled Husseini, autorul romanului Vanatorii de zmeie
Povestile cuprinse in Draga Zari ilustreaza suferintele provocate de traditii afgane adanc inradacinate. Din ele transpar insa cutezanta si puterea [femeilor] de a nu ceda. Kargar dezvaluie faptul ca, ascultandu-le pe altele povestindu-si viata, a capatat curajul de a si-o povesti pe a ei. - The Independent
328 pages, Paperback
First published May 1, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 162 reviews
June 27, 2012
I received a free copy of this book through Goodreads First Reads.
Knowing relatively little about modern Afghanistan other than what little I've heard on the news, I was interested to hear accounts of what life is really like for Afghan women. Kargar gathered the stories presented in this book while working for the BBC and producing a radio program called the Afghan Woman's Hour. She spends a fair amount of the book discussing her own experiences as a journalist and reflecting on how the stories she's collected remind her of her own experiences as an Afghan refuge. She freely admits that she has many opportunities and privileges that these other women do not, but she feels a great deal of kinship with these women and their struggles. Although there are several occasions when her personal reflections interrupt the flow of otherwise compelling stories, I understand why she feels the need to emphasize this common bond.
She relates each story simply and clearly, sometimes paraphrasing or retelling a narrative in her own words, while other times she allows the women's voices to speak for themselves. Kargar's work is admirable and her desire to change the conditions in Afghanistan resonates throughout this book - even though she often expresses her helplessness when she is confronted with a tragic story that she knows she cannot change. I think what makes this book most effective is that Kargar shares a similar cultural background with these women, but also lives in London and understands western culture. She manages to serve as a bridge of understanding between the two, presenting Islamic values in a way that westerners can understand.
It's hard to say that I "enjoyed" the stories because they are overwhelmingly sad, even heartbreaking at times. But they are also fascinating and eye-opening. Many of these women have faced great hardship and their stories are deeply moving, even as they reveal just how far we have to go in promoting women's rights around the world.
Knowing relatively little about modern Afghanistan other than what little I've heard on the news, I was interested to hear accounts of what life is really like for Afghan women. Kargar gathered the stories presented in this book while working for the BBC and producing a radio program called the Afghan Woman's Hour. She spends a fair amount of the book discussing her own experiences as a journalist and reflecting on how the stories she's collected remind her of her own experiences as an Afghan refuge. She freely admits that she has many opportunities and privileges that these other women do not, but she feels a great deal of kinship with these women and their struggles. Although there are several occasions when her personal reflections interrupt the flow of otherwise compelling stories, I understand why she feels the need to emphasize this common bond.
She relates each story simply and clearly, sometimes paraphrasing or retelling a narrative in her own words, while other times she allows the women's voices to speak for themselves. Kargar's work is admirable and her desire to change the conditions in Afghanistan resonates throughout this book - even though she often expresses her helplessness when she is confronted with a tragic story that she knows she cannot change. I think what makes this book most effective is that Kargar shares a similar cultural background with these women, but also lives in London and understands western culture. She manages to serve as a bridge of understanding between the two, presenting Islamic values in a way that westerners can understand.
It's hard to say that I "enjoyed" the stories because they are overwhelmingly sad, even heartbreaking at times. But they are also fascinating and eye-opening. Many of these women have faced great hardship and their stories are deeply moving, even as they reveal just how far we have to go in promoting women's rights around the world.
November 10, 2022
They should do a second printing of this book and just call it “men are trash”
July 4, 2012
One thing I loved about this book is that some of these interviews were done by women Zari trained to do interviews. What this means is that the lives and stories of the women in the book are ones not usually covered by the Western press. Some of these stories are hard to read, but there are many similar stories that have yet to be told. Zari's own story woven throughout added great insights into the lives of Afghan expatriates who may live among us in the West. Highly recommended.
June 8, 2022
Îngrozitor! Zeci de povești reale și cutremurătoare adunate într-o carte terifiantă, așa aș descrie „Dragă Zari”. Zarghuna Kargar face parte dintr-o lume ce poate fi considerată oricând paralelă, dintr-un univers condus după niște legi de neînțeles pentru restul lumii. Este vorba despre lumea arabă în care femeia este redusă la un simplu obiect care nu are voie să gândească, să-și spună părerea sau să ia de una singură o decizie pentru familia sa. Femeia este un bun ce trece din posesia tatălui în cea a soțului prin căsătorie sau mai bine spus printr-o tranzacție avantajoasă pentru familia fetei.
Zarghuna ne prezintă povestea vieții sale și alte zeci de istorisiri nespuse ale femeilor din Afganistan, construind o paralelă între viața unei femei afgane în Londra și viața celor care nu au reușit să scape de lanțurile tradiției și nici de locul natal. Zarghuna s-a supus acelorași reguli, însă soțul ei decide să s mute la Londra, unde femeia ajunge să lucreze la un post de radio. Astfel ea reușește să facă cunoscute poveștile cele mai tragice ale femeilor rămase în urmă, ale celor care rareori știu ce e dragostea dintre un bărbat și o femeie, fiind folosite doar pentru a face copii și pentru a se îngriji de gospodărie. Ele sunt complet dependente de soții lor, putând fi ucise dacă ies din cuvâmtul acestora. Ele nu pot lua nicio hotărâre, nici măcar nu își pot păstra copiii dacă soții lor mor, iar dacă au cel mai mic defect și nu mai pot asigura continuitatea neamului, sunt imediat repudiate sau transformate în sclave pentru cea de-a doua soție.
Zarghuna a reușit să depășească granițele acestei lumi tradiționale și să devină independentă financiar. Ea poate să-și spună părerea, să iasă în public fără să fie însoțită de soțul ei sau de alt bărbat, să fie ea însăși. Cu toate că este judecată de masculii afgani din cercul ei social, femeia nu ține cont de renarcile usturătoare și continuă să scoată la lumină suferința femeilor afgane.
Mai mult decât atât, autoare prezintă cu lux de amănunte ritualurile și ceremoniile ce au loc într-o astfel de comunitate - o adevărată mină de aur, din punct de vedere cultural, aș spune eu, pentru că autoarea deschide o fereastră spre o lume despre care nu știm foarte multe lucruri și de care ne ținem la distanță. Vă recomand acest volum, mai ales dacă vreți să aflați anumite aspecte despre o societate diferită, despre adevărul cutremurător al realității contemporane și despre un sistem violent în special cu femeile. De asemenea vă recomand să aveți la îndemână cât mai multe șervețele pentru că se va lăsa cu lacrimi.
Zarghuna ne prezintă povestea vieții sale și alte zeci de istorisiri nespuse ale femeilor din Afganistan, construind o paralelă între viața unei femei afgane în Londra și viața celor care nu au reușit să scape de lanțurile tradiției și nici de locul natal. Zarghuna s-a supus acelorași reguli, însă soțul ei decide să s mute la Londra, unde femeia ajunge să lucreze la un post de radio. Astfel ea reușește să facă cunoscute poveștile cele mai tragice ale femeilor rămase în urmă, ale celor care rareori știu ce e dragostea dintre un bărbat și o femeie, fiind folosite doar pentru a face copii și pentru a se îngriji de gospodărie. Ele sunt complet dependente de soții lor, putând fi ucise dacă ies din cuvâmtul acestora. Ele nu pot lua nicio hotărâre, nici măcar nu își pot păstra copiii dacă soții lor mor, iar dacă au cel mai mic defect și nu mai pot asigura continuitatea neamului, sunt imediat repudiate sau transformate în sclave pentru cea de-a doua soție.
Zarghuna a reușit să depășească granițele acestei lumi tradiționale și să devină independentă financiar. Ea poate să-și spună părerea, să iasă în public fără să fie însoțită de soțul ei sau de alt bărbat, să fie ea însăși. Cu toate că este judecată de masculii afgani din cercul ei social, femeia nu ține cont de renarcile usturătoare și continuă să scoată la lumină suferința femeilor afgane.
Mai mult decât atât, autoare prezintă cu lux de amănunte ritualurile și ceremoniile ce au loc într-o astfel de comunitate - o adevărată mină de aur, din punct de vedere cultural, aș spune eu, pentru că autoarea deschide o fereastră spre o lume despre care nu știm foarte multe lucruri și de care ne ținem la distanță. Vă recomand acest volum, mai ales dacă vreți să aflați anumite aspecte despre o societate diferită, despre adevărul cutremurător al realității contemporane și despre un sistem violent în special cu femeile. De asemenea vă recomand să aveți la îndemână cât mai multe șervețele pentru că se va lăsa cu lacrimi.
February 1, 2013
I thought this book was going to be about women all over the Middle East and their different stories. Where this was present it was also A LOT about the author herself. I did not want to read a memoir but different stories. I actually got tired of the author interrupting the other women's stories to talk about her own life and the radio show she does. When I want to read only about the author, I will get her biography.
Other than the aforementioned complaint, I found these women to be braver than anything I could imagine for myself. I don't know how they do it. I am so proud and incredibly blessed to have been born a Christian in America where I am free to make all of my own decisions in life. I pray for these women and am truly amazed at their resolve!
Other than the aforementioned complaint, I found these women to be braver than anything I could imagine for myself. I don't know how they do it. I am so proud and incredibly blessed to have been born a Christian in America where I am free to make all of my own decisions in life. I pray for these women and am truly amazed at their resolve!
May 6, 2015
This book is disappointing because it could have been more.
And that is the heart of the issue.
Without a doubt, Zaraghunna Kargar deserves acclaim simply for her work on the BBC’s Afghan’s Woman’s Hour.
Yet.
The central problem with this book, why it doesn’t live up to the promise, is that it doesn’t know what it wants to be. It can’t decide if it wants to be a memoir or a collection of personal experiences. And because of this, it suffers.
The flaw shows up when Kargar interjects her personal story into the stories of the other women. Undoubtedly there are reasons for this, but I can’t figure out what they are unless it is to try to relate or connect the woman’s stories to those that live outside of Afghan. Kargar does this by relating how her life as an Afghani women whose family fled during the Taliban’s regime as well as the pressure to keep to traditions when she lived in the West. This in of itself could be an interesting memoir, but forced and rammed into comparison with the stories of the other women, at worse it cheapens the books; at best it makes Kargar look at a whiner. It doesn’t work; the only thing worse would be a Western woman trying to compare her parent’s preference for a boy child. It would undoubtedly be true, but there is a difference between that, and your parents making you are a boy or your mother debating about suicide because of it.
Disappointing, sadly.
January 29, 2013
I don't know how to properly rate a book that is so unpleasant in its honesty and its bleakness. The book itself is well-written, poignant, approachable and important. The subject matter is depressing, hopeless, infuriating and incomprehensible. It leaves the reader wondering is there a "normal" Afghan experience. Is there an Afghan family unit with ties of loyalty, fidelity and love? Because after reading these stories, you are left jaded and cynical to wonder if such familial ties exist or are even possible in such an environment. It is a bleak portrait of a world that is so foreign as to be incomprehensible. Foreign, not because it is a land far away or because women's rights are non-existent, but foreign in the sense that the most basic human bond, the love of parent and child, appear to be twisted and subverted. Fathers and mothers willingly cast their daughters into the bleakest of situations with little hesitation or regret. I can't understand this world.
August 31, 2013
‘The son who was going to sleep with me was also very young; he was fifteen years old. He would also sometimes beat me while telling me that I was soon going to be his wife, but he didn’t beat me as much as the others did.”
Zarghuna Kargar was born in Kabul in 1982. When civil war erupted across Afghanistan, she and her family escaped to Pakistan, where she trained as a journalist. She came to the UK in 2001 and started working for the BBC World Service. This book was born out of the research she did for Afghan Woman’s Hour and comprises thirteen ordinary Afghan women telling their own, extraordinary stories.
Over the course of thirteen chapters we learn a great deal about what it is to be a woman in a country of which we’ve heard so much and yet know so little. We learn about the children given as brides in part-payment of debt, who are starved, raped and beaten. We learn about women demanding their rightful inheritance, only to find the law, police and male relatives conspiring against them. We learn about women who can only feed their children by begging for work in other women’s households.
The picture the book paints is of a bleak, mediaeval society, in which masculinity has become synonymous with brutality, and in which the women are often as bad as the men. Mothers-in-law, favoured second wives and sisters endorse and participate in the cruel bullying of their younger sisters. How representative a picture it is, we don’t know, because the author has chosen to show us thirteen stories of women who’ve suffered cruelty, neglect and injustice. There might be tens of thousands of others leading perfectly happy, fulfilled lives, but somehow, I doubt it.
I read Dear Zari as research for the book I’m currently writing, which features several female characters from Afghanistan. It’s written in a rather clunky, laborious style, but in terms of content I found it intensely moving and thought provoking. One character in my own book says, ‘Afghanistan is one of the worst places in the world to be a woman.’ I wrote that before I read Dear Zari. My view certainly hasn’t changed.
Zarghuna Kargar was born in Kabul in 1982. When civil war erupted across Afghanistan, she and her family escaped to Pakistan, where she trained as a journalist. She came to the UK in 2001 and started working for the BBC World Service. This book was born out of the research she did for Afghan Woman’s Hour and comprises thirteen ordinary Afghan women telling their own, extraordinary stories.
Over the course of thirteen chapters we learn a great deal about what it is to be a woman in a country of which we’ve heard so much and yet know so little. We learn about the children given as brides in part-payment of debt, who are starved, raped and beaten. We learn about women demanding their rightful inheritance, only to find the law, police and male relatives conspiring against them. We learn about women who can only feed their children by begging for work in other women’s households.
The picture the book paints is of a bleak, mediaeval society, in which masculinity has become synonymous with brutality, and in which the women are often as bad as the men. Mothers-in-law, favoured second wives and sisters endorse and participate in the cruel bullying of their younger sisters. How representative a picture it is, we don’t know, because the author has chosen to show us thirteen stories of women who’ve suffered cruelty, neglect and injustice. There might be tens of thousands of others leading perfectly happy, fulfilled lives, but somehow, I doubt it.
I read Dear Zari as research for the book I’m currently writing, which features several female characters from Afghanistan. It’s written in a rather clunky, laborious style, but in terms of content I found it intensely moving and thought provoking. One character in my own book says, ‘Afghanistan is one of the worst places in the world to be a woman.’ I wrote that before I read Dear Zari. My view certainly hasn’t changed.
June 15, 2023
An excellent look into the lives of women in Afghanistan, though at this point somewhat outdated, as the majority of the stories come from the early 2000s. Still, this was an eye-opening book, and I'm glad I picked it up over a similar title written by a woman with no personal experience with living in Afghanistan. The book highlights the stories of several women in different regions and experiences across Afghanistan, all unified by the difficulties and inequalities that women living in Afghanistan face, both during the reign of the Mujahideen and the Talaban.
Some reviewers mention frustrations with the author's interjections into the women's stories. For the most part, I didn't mind this, as the stories of the women of Afghanistan are linked to the life of Zarghuna Kargar's own life experiences and her escape from the same harrowing lives of the women who courageously tell their stories. For the most part, Kargar's reflections are included at the beginning or end of the featured woman's story, and lend context to the overall format of the book, rather than hindered it. The one objection to this was with Anesa's story. For this story the author's interjections ruined the narrative flow, and limited the impact of both Kargar and Anesa's stories. A better option would have been for Kargar to independently share her story in her own chapter at the end of the book, in which she could then compare and contrast her life to those of the women whose experiences are shared throughout the work.
Other than that I've really enjoyed the book, as much as one can enjoy a book about harrowing true stories of women's lives in Afghanistan. Really eye-opening on a subject I know very little about, and I'm truly glad I picked this book up, written by a woman who was actually born in Afghanistan, and highlights stories directly from women in Afghanistan.
Some reviewers mention frustrations with the author's interjections into the women's stories. For the most part, I didn't mind this, as the stories of the women of Afghanistan are linked to the life of Zarghuna Kargar's own life experiences and her escape from the same harrowing lives of the women who courageously tell their stories. For the most part, Kargar's reflections are included at the beginning or end of the featured woman's story, and lend context to the overall format of the book, rather than hindered it. The one objection to this was with Anesa's story. For this story the author's interjections ruined the narrative flow, and limited the impact of both Kargar and Anesa's stories. A better option would have been for Kargar to independently share her story in her own chapter at the end of the book, in which she could then compare and contrast her life to those of the women whose experiences are shared throughout the work.
Other than that I've really enjoyed the book, as much as one can enjoy a book about harrowing true stories of women's lives in Afghanistan. Really eye-opening on a subject I know very little about, and I'm truly glad I picked this book up, written by a woman who was actually born in Afghanistan, and highlights stories directly from women in Afghanistan.
July 9, 2012
I won this book from Goodreads first reads.
The extent of information I have of Afghanistan is from what I read in the Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns. Even in those books, it is hard to believe the amount of terror and hardship the people of Afghanistan have had to face over the last couple of decades.
Dear Zari is a compilation of stories of women's lives. Women from all over Afghanistan speak of their submission and oppression that has caused them to live a life that really cannot be considered a life at all.
Reading this book, it really surprised me how even in this modern world where freedom and democracy is being spread around the globe, Muslim women are forced to live with such few options. The stories in this book depict unbelievable hardships and tearful lives of poverty-stricken women who can communicate and tell their life story through this book.
This book was a good read and was packed with historic information. If you love reading books that inspire you to create change in the world and within yourself, this is definitely for you.
The extent of information I have of Afghanistan is from what I read in the Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns. Even in those books, it is hard to believe the amount of terror and hardship the people of Afghanistan have had to face over the last couple of decades.
Dear Zari is a compilation of stories of women's lives. Women from all over Afghanistan speak of their submission and oppression that has caused them to live a life that really cannot be considered a life at all.
Reading this book, it really surprised me how even in this modern world where freedom and democracy is being spread around the globe, Muslim women are forced to live with such few options. The stories in this book depict unbelievable hardships and tearful lives of poverty-stricken women who can communicate and tell their life story through this book.
This book was a good read and was packed with historic information. If you love reading books that inspire you to create change in the world and within yourself, this is definitely for you.
May 18, 2016
This is an incredible book! A must read. The women who bravely came forward and told their stories deserve all our admiration and support. Cudos to Dear Zari. She and her journalists provided a platform for women who had been silenced to speak, and for thousands of silenced women to hear stories reminiscent of their own. We who live in a society in which women have rights and the freedom to live their lives productively and without fear, would do well to understand the plight of Afgan women and their children.
June 8, 2013
An amazing book of women of Afghanistan. Portrayals of women who are locked in a world where they are neither valued nor respected. These women were treated as property and with suspicion, and having almost no freedom of movement. The book raised several questions for me, including: how typical are these portrayals? why are women so unfeeling towards other women? and what lasting impact has the Afghan Women's Hour had on the lives of women in the country.
June 16, 2011
This collection of stories of the lives of women in Afghanistan deserves to be read by a wider audience. Despite the traumatic lives that these women have lived, their stories carry a message of strength and courage and we could all learn a lot from them.
Beautifully written, Dear Zari will touch the hearts of many.
Beautifully written, Dear Zari will touch the hearts of many.
October 30, 2018
Book 83, Week 44
Dear Zari by Zarghuna Kargar
Rating 4/5
I bought this book many years back but just hadn't gotten around to reading it. Especially having received a Kindle 2 years ago has affected my paper book reading drastically. I'm glad I finally picked up a book, and it was this one.
Dear Zari is an anthology of real life experiences of Afghani women from across the country, hailing from different towns and family backgrounds. Unfortunately, the stories are more sad than happy. The radicalization of Islam coupled with a highly patriarchal culture have made life quite difficult for women of Afghanistan.
The book shares stories of a dozen women, along with the author's, who worked with BBC to produce Afghanistan's Women's Hour, a radio program that was broadcast in Afghanistan from 2005-2010 and featured insprirational stories of women. It sought to give the women a voice and help them find practical solutions to problems in their day to day life. The stories in the book come from that program.
Reading this book made me weep for my sisters in Afghanistan, and again, feel lucky to have been born in India. But then I realised that I was lucky to be born in my educated modern family, not India. When I thought deeply about the traditions and culture of Afghanistan, I realised it's pretty much the same in India, even if not in my circle/peer group.
The stories talked about forced marriage, child marriage, insistence on a women being a virgin before marriage, taboo for women to fall in love and marry as per their wish, ostracizing women who bear only daighters, preferring sons over daughters, daughters in law being treated as servants, ostracizing widows, forcing widows to marry brothers in law no matter how inappropriate, polygamy, domestic and sexual violence, giving away women to settle disputes, making girl children work and deny them an education, marrying little girls to old and already married rich men for money, forcing gay men to marry women to 'cure them', women not getting inheritance from family, taking kids away from a divorced or widowed woman.... Everything that happens there happens here too. And it's a sad state of affairs, everywhere.
I wonder if something like the radio program has been done in India. I know a lot of organizations are doing a lot of work all over the country towards women empowerment. I wish more such books are written and read, more opportunities are given to women to voice their feelings and experiences, and men and women can come together to uproot the misogynistic and patriarchal traditions that hurt not just women but men themselves too.
The book is well written, easy to read, paints a vivid picture of the people and their lifestyle, is thought provoking and heart wrenching. A must read for all, irrespective of gender or nationality.
Dear Zari by Zarghuna Kargar
Rating 4/5
I bought this book many years back but just hadn't gotten around to reading it. Especially having received a Kindle 2 years ago has affected my paper book reading drastically. I'm glad I finally picked up a book, and it was this one.
Dear Zari is an anthology of real life experiences of Afghani women from across the country, hailing from different towns and family backgrounds. Unfortunately, the stories are more sad than happy. The radicalization of Islam coupled with a highly patriarchal culture have made life quite difficult for women of Afghanistan.
The book shares stories of a dozen women, along with the author's, who worked with BBC to produce Afghanistan's Women's Hour, a radio program that was broadcast in Afghanistan from 2005-2010 and featured insprirational stories of women. It sought to give the women a voice and help them find practical solutions to problems in their day to day life. The stories in the book come from that program.
Reading this book made me weep for my sisters in Afghanistan, and again, feel lucky to have been born in India. But then I realised that I was lucky to be born in my educated modern family, not India. When I thought deeply about the traditions and culture of Afghanistan, I realised it's pretty much the same in India, even if not in my circle/peer group.
The stories talked about forced marriage, child marriage, insistence on a women being a virgin before marriage, taboo for women to fall in love and marry as per their wish, ostracizing women who bear only daighters, preferring sons over daughters, daughters in law being treated as servants, ostracizing widows, forcing widows to marry brothers in law no matter how inappropriate, polygamy, domestic and sexual violence, giving away women to settle disputes, making girl children work and deny them an education, marrying little girls to old and already married rich men for money, forcing gay men to marry women to 'cure them', women not getting inheritance from family, taking kids away from a divorced or widowed woman.... Everything that happens there happens here too. And it's a sad state of affairs, everywhere.
I wonder if something like the radio program has been done in India. I know a lot of organizations are doing a lot of work all over the country towards women empowerment. I wish more such books are written and read, more opportunities are given to women to voice their feelings and experiences, and men and women can come together to uproot the misogynistic and patriarchal traditions that hurt not just women but men themselves too.
The book is well written, easy to read, paints a vivid picture of the people and their lifestyle, is thought provoking and heart wrenching. A must read for all, irrespective of gender or nationality.
August 13, 2020
"𝙂𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙠𝙚𝙥𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙚. 𝙄𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙗𝙞𝙜 𝙛𝙖𝙫𝙤𝙪𝙧; 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙚𝙬 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮. "
𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗭𝗮𝗿𝗶 (𝗭𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗵𝘂𝗻𝗮 𝗞𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗿) : This is a collection of anecdotes of women of Afghanistan, who are locked in a world where they are neither valued nor respected. This book deserves to be read by a wider audience, as the women deserve admiration and support for coming forward so bravely and telling their stories.
Zarghuna Kargar or Dear Zari, is the author who choose to intersperse the book with the details from her personal life as well. The struggles of her life as an Afghan woman and that of her married life.
Major themes of the book include, disappointment in having a girl child, as the mother is considered incomplete until she has a boy; the forced marriage to men they don't even see until the wedding day and the impossibility of choosing their husband; not being able to attend school after a certain age; child bride given (or sold) to settle a family dispute.
And all that in between constant wars and different leadership, each with their own imposing rule.
Though the writing could have been tighter as I felt the writer could not decide whether she wanted a memoir about herself or profile these women. It seems she tried to do both.
But overall, it's a very powerful book.
The stories are full of hope, loneliness and courage with a constant growth.
I would encourage people to read this and prepare to be stunned by what they're reading.
𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗭𝗮𝗿𝗶 (𝗭𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗵𝘂𝗻𝗮 𝗞𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗿) : This is a collection of anecdotes of women of Afghanistan, who are locked in a world where they are neither valued nor respected. This book deserves to be read by a wider audience, as the women deserve admiration and support for coming forward so bravely and telling their stories.
Zarghuna Kargar or Dear Zari, is the author who choose to intersperse the book with the details from her personal life as well. The struggles of her life as an Afghan woman and that of her married life.
Major themes of the book include, disappointment in having a girl child, as the mother is considered incomplete until she has a boy; the forced marriage to men they don't even see until the wedding day and the impossibility of choosing their husband; not being able to attend school after a certain age; child bride given (or sold) to settle a family dispute.
And all that in between constant wars and different leadership, each with their own imposing rule.
Though the writing could have been tighter as I felt the writer could not decide whether she wanted a memoir about herself or profile these women. It seems she tried to do both.
But overall, it's a very powerful book.
The stories are full of hope, loneliness and courage with a constant growth.
I would encourage people to read this and prepare to be stunned by what they're reading.
February 7, 2020
This is not a 4-star book only because the author chose to intersperse the book with details from her personal life, and used this book to talk about her marriage. I felt that this book had a great potential to showcase lives and stories of Afghani women across the social strata, and yet all of these are about how a woman has to only live for marriage and how Afghani society is all about getting a girl married.
Yes, the author gave a disclaimer that modern living was only for the privileged in urban Afghanistan and girls were treated as marriage-only objects everywhere else. Yet, I feel that the angle of how women lived under the Talibs, how they kept their lives and spirits up could have been explored - this felt like a missed opportunity.
And yet, at every possible chance, the author talks about her marriage and her failure of it, after a while I ran out of empathy for her.
Yes, the author gave a disclaimer that modern living was only for the privileged in urban Afghanistan and girls were treated as marriage-only objects everywhere else. Yet, I feel that the angle of how women lived under the Talibs, how they kept their lives and spirits up could have been explored - this felt like a missed opportunity.
And yet, at every possible chance, the author talks about her marriage and her failure of it, after a while I ran out of empathy for her.
February 15, 2020
Decidi ler este livro por sugestão do meu pai, e talvez por isso, por não ter criado qualquer tipo de expectativas, me tenha surpreendido.
Ler histórias desde mulheres a casar aos 14, a terem filhos aos 15, a serem obrigadas a tratar das lides domésticas, a serem proíbidas de ir à escola e a não terem qualquer tipo de liberdade individual. Deixou- me comovida e um pouco mais a par da triste realidade que se vive em países mais pobres como o Afeganistão, onde hoje em dia, ainda se luta pela igualdade de direitos entre homens e mulheres.
Ler histórias desde mulheres a casar aos 14, a terem filhos aos 15, a serem obrigadas a tratar das lides domésticas, a serem proíbidas de ir à escola e a não terem qualquer tipo de liberdade individual. Deixou- me comovida e um pouco mais a par da triste realidade que se vive em países mais pobres como o Afeganistão, onde hoje em dia, ainda se luta pela igualdade de direitos entre homens e mulheres.
October 25, 2021
Este livro não é sobre um conto de fadas ou romantizar o que as mulheres sofrem no afegão!
Zarghuna (Zari) é uma mulher afegã cuja a guerra a "obrigou" a emigrar, hoje como jornalista da BBC decide fazer a diferença desenvolveu todo um programa na rádio "Afghan Woman's Hour". Neste programa são ouvidos os mais variados relatos acerca da vida destas mulheres, quer seja na cidade quer seja em locais mais remotos.
Após ouvir o que as mulheres afegãs tinham para partilhar Zari decidiu juntar algumas das histórias em um livro, surgindo assim Mulher Afegãs: Histórias por detrás da burka.
Ao longo dos relatos vamos tendo alguns paralelismo com a vida da autora, tornando-a assim um pouco mais próxima de nós.
Não são histórias fáceis de abordar nem tão pouco de digerir, mas sinto que devemos saber um pouco mais acerca do mundo que nos rodeia e do sofrimento destas mulheres, que o único erro das vida delas foi um mero código-postal.
Ainda há muito a fazer pela emancipação feminina, nós ocidentais até que temos alguma sorte, mas se pensarmos bem essa sorte pode ser mutavel, vejamos o que se passa na atualidade no Afeganistão, onde o pouco que as mulheres reconquistaram retorceu.
Um excelente livro para refletir!
Recomendo a todas as pessoas que queriam sair das suas zonas de conforto.
Não recomendo a pessoas mais sensíveis, cujo o exercício de ler e refletir sobre estes relatos as possam afetar no seu dias a dia
Zarghuna (Zari) é uma mulher afegã cuja a guerra a "obrigou" a emigrar, hoje como jornalista da BBC decide fazer a diferença desenvolveu todo um programa na rádio "Afghan Woman's Hour". Neste programa são ouvidos os mais variados relatos acerca da vida destas mulheres, quer seja na cidade quer seja em locais mais remotos.
Após ouvir o que as mulheres afegãs tinham para partilhar Zari decidiu juntar algumas das histórias em um livro, surgindo assim Mulher Afegãs: Histórias por detrás da burka.
Ao longo dos relatos vamos tendo alguns paralelismo com a vida da autora, tornando-a assim um pouco mais próxima de nós.
Não são histórias fáceis de abordar nem tão pouco de digerir, mas sinto que devemos saber um pouco mais acerca do mundo que nos rodeia e do sofrimento destas mulheres, que o único erro das vida delas foi um mero código-postal.
Ainda há muito a fazer pela emancipação feminina, nós ocidentais até que temos alguma sorte, mas se pensarmos bem essa sorte pode ser mutavel, vejamos o que se passa na atualidade no Afeganistão, onde o pouco que as mulheres reconquistaram retorceu.
Um excelente livro para refletir!
Recomendo a todas as pessoas que queriam sair das suas zonas de conforto.
Não recomendo a pessoas mais sensíveis, cujo o exercício de ler e refletir sobre estes relatos as possam afetar no seu dias a dia
July 20, 2023
Condiția femeii într-o țară ca Afganistan lasă mult de dorit,femeia fiind considerată un simplu obiect,aflat la îndemâna familiei sale,fie că este căsătorită sau nu . Tradiții adânc înrădăcinate, mentalități de Ev Mediu, înapoiere,extremism religios sunt doar câteva aspecte pe care ni le aduc în față povestirile Zarghunei Kargar. Este o carte tristă,dar bine documentată și scrisă,pe care dacă o citești,înveți ca femeie să îți prețuiești libertatea.
December 31, 2022
This was an extremely emotional account of the lives of Afghan women & gives first hand intimate account into aspects of their culture you wouldn’t read anywhere else. Heart wrenching
June 3, 2013
A somewhat harrowing read, which at times reminded me of Holocaust narratives, this is definitely worth a read for understanding why Soviet and Western promotion of women's rights was so antagonistic in Afghanistan. It's also a fascinating insight into Afghan society and culture, as well as showing how valuable the BBC's various radio broadcasts around the world are - which made it all the more shocking and extremely poignant to read that Afghan Woman's Hour was axed in early 2010 due to funding cuts.
So Zarghuna weaves her own story in with 12 of the hundreds of women's life stories that were broadcast as part of Afghan Woman's Hour on the BBC's Pashtu and Dari service. They are a superb selection of lives, providing a diverse set of situations, though the early ones are universally depressing, illustrating how truly terrible a woman's lot can be in traditional Afghanistan. Lack of rights and constant brutality are pervasive, as are conditions of slavery. It is truly heart-rending. Practices such as feeding opium to babies so that women are not distracted from their long hours of carpet-weaving were particularly shocking, beyond a litany of beatings, imprisonment and starvation.
However, it is not all doom and gloom. The very fact that broadcasting these stories together with such things as discussions from experts made a positive difference to women's lives is very encouraging, and thankfully there were more positive stories towards the end (though by no means without their share of tragedy). I was particularly moved by the story of Bakhtawara, who was raised and lived as a man, and indeed was accepted by other men as such, though she was taunted by women as a eunuch. Sadly she longed to marry and be a mother, which she could never do as a "man". The love story of Ghutama was a perfect story to end on as well, in view of its fairly happy ending - I was moved by the extraordinary strength and character of this Kuchi woman. Zarghuna herself is an extraordinary woman too, and I'm grateful for the various work she has done for Afghan women.
So Zarghuna weaves her own story in with 12 of the hundreds of women's life stories that were broadcast as part of Afghan Woman's Hour on the BBC's Pashtu and Dari service. They are a superb selection of lives, providing a diverse set of situations, though the early ones are universally depressing, illustrating how truly terrible a woman's lot can be in traditional Afghanistan. Lack of rights and constant brutality are pervasive, as are conditions of slavery. It is truly heart-rending. Practices such as feeding opium to babies so that women are not distracted from their long hours of carpet-weaving were particularly shocking, beyond a litany of beatings, imprisonment and starvation.
However, it is not all doom and gloom. The very fact that broadcasting these stories together with such things as discussions from experts made a positive difference to women's lives is very encouraging, and thankfully there were more positive stories towards the end (though by no means without their share of tragedy). I was particularly moved by the story of Bakhtawara, who was raised and lived as a man, and indeed was accepted by other men as such, though she was taunted by women as a eunuch. Sadly she longed to marry and be a mother, which she could never do as a "man". The love story of Ghutama was a perfect story to end on as well, in view of its fairly happy ending - I was moved by the extraordinary strength and character of this Kuchi woman. Zarghuna herself is an extraordinary woman too, and I'm grateful for the various work she has done for Afghan women.
September 15, 2012
My understanding of the political situation in Afghanistan is rudimentary at best , but after this book I feel I have a better grasp of what is going on that country. Kargar tells her own story and than as part of a radio show she tells the stories of various woman throughout the country. I actually liked the stories better when, instead of paraphrasing, she lets their own voices tell their own stories. I can't imagine living in a country that is constantly at war, I keep thinking of all the people who are just trying to live normal lives in trying conditions. Most of these women's stories were heartbreaking, but I am glad they have been shared..
November 20, 2012
This is an eye opening book of true stories of women living in Afghanistan based on a BBC series. Major themes include disappointment in having a girl child (a mother is not complete until she has a boy), the forced marriage to men they don't see until their wedding day, the near impossibility of a girl choosing who she will marry, girls not being able to attend school after a certain age...this amid the constant wars and leadership changes, each with their own imposing rules. It makes you very glad to live in a place where women are much more equal.
January 21, 2015
Another compelling account of women's struggle to fend for their rights, freedom and independence. I am no stranger to the hardships discussed in this book since I come from a place where men devalue women, and treat them as second class citizens. Yet, these women (even in the book) show great courage in the face of imminent danger - standing up to their abusers as their life hangs by a thread.
May 12, 2017
This is a very powerful book. It gives great insight into the lives of women from Afghanistan and the many challenges they face just by being born a women. The stories are full of hope, despair, loneliness and courage. Throughout it all there is growth.
I would encourage people to read this and prepare to be stunned by what you are reading and ultimately feeling hopeful for the women of Afghanistan and the hurdles they have so far been able to overcome.
I would encourage people to read this and prepare to be stunned by what you are reading and ultimately feeling hopeful for the women of Afghanistan and the hurdles they have so far been able to overcome.
July 27, 2012
Its one of the books thats widen your perspective..Must read, if you are interested into Asian/Middle East culture..And if you believe your life is very bad at this very particular moment or you just dont feel ok today-then after reading this book, it gives more strenght to fight for your dreams and life..coz every woman's story in the book is full of struggle and fighting for survival...
May 31, 2014
While the stories in this book must be told and read, it is unfortunate that they have been told by this writer. Not quite fiction, not quite non-fiction, not quite autobiography, an immature writing.
June 5, 2017
Really interesting to get insight in the lives of these women.
September 10, 2012
I may have really liked this book but some of the stories were horrifying. I had to read it in short sessions, a story at a time. I am glad the author exposed the reality of tradition gone mad.
October 5, 2012
The writing is not particularly spectacular but the stories are compelling (and infuriating). Had to keep reminding myself that this is happening now- not in the 17th century.
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