Whooo boy, I have so much to say about this book but also this book emotionally exhausted me so I’m going to just list the CWs because this book is 95% plot, 125% CWs, and 75% messy characters. No, I’m not a mathematician why do you ask?
But before we list the CWs, let me briefly introduce the 3 MCs (no this is not a threesome or a triad romance). The book goes back and forth between current day and 20 years ago.
Mikaela - the FMC, a successful Black lawyer, ambitious and aiming for a partnership at her very fancy law firm;
Cameron - the MMC, a white fashion photographer; Mikaela’s first love;
Julie - a white woman, Mikaela’s high school best friend, Cameron’s ex wife; mother of his two children;
When they all first meet, Mikaela and Julie have just graduated high school and are 18 (or almost 18) and Cameron is already in college and is 21;
CWs
1. Parental death (Cameron’s father is dead when the story starts, his mom dies of cancer in the book; Julie’s father also dies);
2. Difficult parental relationships;
3. Arrest (Mikaela and Julie get arrested for pulling a senior prank, which is when Mikaela meets Cameron, who is the Sheriff’s nephew and works at the Sheriff’s dept, taking mugshots);
4. Mikaela gets pregnant with Cameron’s baby in her first year of college and loses the baby; she doesn’t tell Cameron about it until decades later;
5. Cameron feels abandoned by Mikaela who urges him to be there for Julie when her father dies; he sleeps with Julie and she gets pregnant and they end up getting married;
6. The book is very vague about the status of Cameron and Mikaela’s relationship when this occurs but to me, it feels very much like cheating;
7. Later, it is revealed, the baby, a girl, isn’t Cameron’s baby at all;
8. This comes to light when their second child, a son, is diagnosed with leukemia and needs a bone marrow transplant and the sister is the obvious choice;
9. All 3 people come back to each other’s orbit when a picture Cameron took of Mikaela and Julie years ago, resurfaces on a famous fashion magazine and Julie sues the magazine and Cameron for publishing her picture without her permission;
10. Julie and Cameron continually make Mikaela feel like shit for making the choices she did which was basically to leave their tiny hometown in GA and go to New York and follow her dreams and ambitions;
11. Julie blames Mikaela for hiding her feelings but also, there’s a ton of jealousy there; it’s a severely unhealthy dynamic;
12. Cameron wanted a family and was in love with Mikaela and wanted her to stay; he makes her feel like crap basically for wanting to pursue her own dreams instead of making a life with him which is bullshit in my opinion that he was making her feel like crap;
13. Mikaela in current day starts off with a boyfriend, a Black doctor who wants to commit to her and repeatedly asks her to move in; they break up when it’s apparent that there is no passion in their relationship and she clearly has more chemistry with Cameron; I was rooting for Doctor dude the entire time;
14. There is also workplace misogyny and racism and micro aggressions;
15. There is also a scene where Cameron can’t understand the pressure Mikaela is under so Mikaela has to do the emotional labor of explaining to him, a white cishet man, that as a Black woman in her law firm, she has to work 10 times as hard for a quarter of the credit; she has to be flawless, perfect, make NO mistakes, and still prove that she’s worthy of being made partner when a white male in her position can make endless mistakes and still end up making partner without a second thought; Cameron’s response to this is initially to joke and then just blow it off and then respond with “that’s not fair”. NO SHIT SHERLOCK;
Ultimately, I just wanted to yeet Cameron and Julie into the sun and wanted Mikaela to understand that she was being gaslit by both of these people; I couldn’t support the relationship, the pairing, or the HEA; the only reason I’m giving it 2 stars instead of 1 is because I did like the writing style and it kept me engaged despite the fact that I was so enraged for the bulk of the book;
ARC provided by Netgalley, opinions are all mine;