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Preconceptions: A Memoir
As a gay person, Joanne dreamed of falling in love and having a child. This seemed impossible—until she swiped right on Lara. From their first date on, Joanne knew Lara was the one—kind, caring, and wanting to have a child together someday.
Two years later, Lara, a transgender woman, told Joanne, a cisgender woman, that if they wanted to try having a biological child, it was now or never. Despite the physical and mental obstacles, the couple embarked on a conception journey that would take their bond to the brink.
Told with humor and heart, Preconceptions is the story of how, against all odds, two people realized their dream of becoming a party of three.
Two years later, Lara, a transgender woman, told Joanne, a cisgender woman, that if they wanted to try having a biological child, it was now or never. Despite the physical and mental obstacles, the couple embarked on a conception journey that would take their bond to the brink.
Told with humor and heart, Preconceptions is the story of how, against all odds, two people realized their dream of becoming a party of three.
Audible Audio
Published November 11, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
November 21, 2021
This is a courageous and too brief memoir focused on the struggles of a self-identified queer couple to conceive a child. One partner is a cisgender woman and the other a transgendered woman. In order to conceive their own biological child, the trans partner needed to go off hormone therapy for six months, resulting in biologically triggered severe stress, anger, and depression. The memoir charts the difficulties both partners faced during this time.
One of the author's intents in writing this was to expand our understanding and empathy toward people we seldom know or become friends with. The memoir, without being whiney or playing victim, touches on situations where the women encountered both insensitivity and insult. But the work mostly focuses on the feelings the author had and the stress in their relationship due to the chemical reversals in the transgender hormone process, a reversal necessary to allow Lara to produce sperm once again. I read this because I wanted to grow in my understanding and empathy for people such as Joanne and Lara and the challenges they face. Theirs is a world that has been long hidden to me.
What I didn't like about the memoir is that it lacked depth, as in when a half-hour TV show both reveals and conceals. The work is extremely short and a better editorial hand would have helped this already courageous couple organize and tell their story in a way that would have provided the rest of us with more insight and understanding.
I am grateful for this memoir, a gift to the public. As a retired pastor, churches are just beginning to scratch the surface of transgender issues, after years of judgment and quarreling over "homosexuality." However uncomfortable one feels around queerness, and however many biblical verses one can quote condemning same sex attraction, Christians are always called to be curious, understanding, and empathetic to others, to treat them as we ourselves want to be treated. Thank you Joanne and Lara for reminding me of that.
One of the author's intents in writing this was to expand our understanding and empathy toward people we seldom know or become friends with. The memoir, without being whiney or playing victim, touches on situations where the women encountered both insensitivity and insult. But the work mostly focuses on the feelings the author had and the stress in their relationship due to the chemical reversals in the transgender hormone process, a reversal necessary to allow Lara to produce sperm once again. I read this because I wanted to grow in my understanding and empathy for people such as Joanne and Lara and the challenges they face. Theirs is a world that has been long hidden to me.
What I didn't like about the memoir is that it lacked depth, as in when a half-hour TV show both reveals and conceals. The work is extremely short and a better editorial hand would have helped this already courageous couple organize and tell their story in a way that would have provided the rest of us with more insight and understanding.
I am grateful for this memoir, a gift to the public. As a retired pastor, churches are just beginning to scratch the surface of transgender issues, after years of judgment and quarreling over "homosexuality." However uncomfortable one feels around queerness, and however many biblical verses one can quote condemning same sex attraction, Christians are always called to be curious, understanding, and empathetic to others, to treat them as we ourselves want to be treated. Thank you Joanne and Lara for reminding me of that.
August 17, 2023
I'm realizing I really love memoirs, that I find them such interesting reads, to know more about person's lives and experiences. It's not only about the struggles of getting pregnant, which is never easy, but also the process of detransitioning so they could have their child biologically and the toll it took on her girlfriend and their relationship. This was such a really good listen, and I can't recommend enough, and Detransition, Baby is moving up on my list!!!
July 13, 2023
I liked this book but it was hard to listen to. I am glad the couple got the outcome they desired. But the cost seemed so high…
July 18, 2023
A captivating blitz of low lows and high highs, this memoir of a non-binary female and trans girl conceiving a baby will run you into the ground in less than two hours. Considering how rarely stories of trans pregnancies get told on major platforms though, it’s an adventure worth having.
I wonder if it ever occurred to them to reverse her vasectomy and try having kids without her going off hormones? I know folks who did and their kids are all fine. I know there isn’t plentiful research on kids of trans ppl, but anecdotally I’ve never met or known any that had health issues. It’s usually cis medical professionals swearing up and down that it *could* happen *maybe* without being able to point to anything significant. Idk, going off hormones is violently is dangerous but ydy.
That aside, they both really had to bleed on the page to tell this story and I thank them for being so open about a time period that sounds like a fucking blasted out hellscape.
I wonder if it ever occurred to them to reverse her vasectomy and try having kids without her going off hormones? I know folks who did and their kids are all fine. I know there isn’t plentiful research on kids of trans ppl, but anecdotally I’ve never met or known any that had health issues. It’s usually cis medical professionals swearing up and down that it *could* happen *maybe* without being able to point to anything significant. Idk, going off hormones is violently is dangerous but ydy.
That aside, they both really had to bleed on the page to tell this story and I thank them for being so open about a time period that sounds like a fucking blasted out hellscape.
January 3, 2022
This was an awesome journey to share with the the women who navigated it and lived through it to thrive. I appreciate the transparency and vulnerability that it took to write and then ultimately narrate this personal quest. I am hoping that the world in general will take the couple of hours this audiobook holds. More importantly my hope is that other Trans folks and the people in their circles take the time so that the strife encountered here is not ongoing in as the world (hopefully) becomes more accepting and inclusive. Thanks is the best thing I can say.
June 29, 2022
An incredible journey shared by two women falling in love and wanting a family. It is well articulated and beautifully read. The music translations in the audio added to each chapter. This is a memoir that as a transgender person I found insightful and helpful for my own journey with my partner. It gives a perspective on starting a family that is rarely talked about but should definitely be heard more!
December 30, 2022
I appreciated how honest this was. I wish we could’ve heard Lara’s perspective too. I worried about the author pressuring Lara to share her story without her consent, as they discuss towards the beginning… But I did really appreciate that they didn’t romanticize their fertility experience and shared the hard parts and points of disagreement and overcoming conflict too. I’ve never had the chance to read a story of queer & trans family building that is so honest, open, and autobiographical.
November 24, 2021
I thought I was pretty knowledgeable about sexual preferences , but this book took me by surprise. A gay woman falls in love with a woman who is transitioning to a woman. It’s a pretty Interesting story about their struggle. I do t think it was very well written , but the story is amazing.
November 22, 2021
Great story telling.
Was surprised by the fact they started off in Charlotte, NC. Where we lived til 2017.
The emotions were felt.
Was surprised by the fact they started off in Charlotte, NC. Where we lived til 2017.
The emotions were felt.
January 11, 2022
Eye-opening and heartfelt!
January 13, 2022
Nonfiction - Memoir
June 3, 2022
I loved this book, really cute story and relatable bc it’s a story of what can happen when trans people go off their HRT. I love it and I follow both Joanne and Lara on ig now!!!
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews