I definitely saw a lot of myself in Ara; it felt like having a parallel experience. I understood the feeling of insecurity about your body when you don’t fit beauty standards and feeling inadequate. This guy wasted her time for seventeen years, and that’s all she’s known, so I understand why it’s hard for her to walk away. It sucks that these doubts surfaced due to her boyfriend's cheating, pushing her down a rabbit hole of comparison with the girl he cheated with. I felt gut-wrenched when Ara blamed herself, thinking that his infidelity was because she wasn’t tapping into her femininity. That’s never a good excuse for cheating.
Fiyin is an enemy of progress. While I understand that she wants Ara to look more girly, she pushes her in the wrong direction. This is evident in how she handled her sister Erinkan's relationship dilemma. I wanted to beat Fiyin when she blamed her sister for the cheating, as if she hadn’t been thinking the same thing herself: “If only you dressed more girly.” She brainwashed her sister into believing that his cheating was just a phase and that he would come back. Sorry, Fiyin, but this is nothing like your relationship. Fiyin’s influence led Ara to make drastic changes to herself. I also loved how the author tackled the issue of women doing certain things and trying to look a certain way to appeal to the male gaze. Throughout the story, Ara was simply playing the role that the world wanted her to be; she contorted herself to fit a certain description to become more desirable, changing herself for someone else’s benefit. She downplayed everything about herself.
I was shook to the core that even though Oye wasn’t on the page, we could tell how bad of a boyfriend he was whenever C.J., the love interest would do the minimum, and it was obvious he didn’t do it for her. It was the simple, thoughtful things C.J. did that got to me—like asking questions to get to know her and what she likes, getting her gifts based on things she told him she liked. Also, who forgets that their girlfriend has a nut allergy but still gifts her chocolate with nuts in it because it’s their favorite? Now, that’s nuts. I’d be honest, apart from C.J. dealing with family issues and their deep conversations, his characterization was pretty bland. Their relationship felt like a repeat of the Ginikan storyline regarding how they connected, although this one wasn’t as extensive as hers. C.J. helped Ara see what Oye didn’t do, expect me in an relationships and a version of what a true love might look like, but ultimately it wasn’t enough to warrant a lasting relationship.
I’m not an avid romance reader, but I definitely enjoyed the twist on the fake dating trope. Here are two people who want to get back with their exes, yet they end up falling in love with each other. Then, the line between what was real and what was fake blurred, and I knew we were getting somewhere.
Can we talk about that cheating-ass Ginika, please? What in the name of nonsense is that girl doing sneaking around with her ex like that? Ginika, that foolish girl! I don’t know how I can support Ara in the way she handled Ginika’s infidelity. How many times did that girl caught with her and her ex, and she just lets her get away with simple warnings? I get standing beside your girl, but you become an accessory to a crime and enable her to do more because she knows you won’t snitch. If it comes down to it, she can count on you to be her false witness. Dike, HER HUSBAND seemed like he loved her and was there for her in everything. I don’t understand her unfaithfulness toward Dike, who seems like such a sweetheart! I’m sure it’ll all be explained in her book.
The problem in this book was miscommunication. C.J. messed up by not clarifying things with Ara, and she was just being too in her head, delaying the inevitable. I’m glad that in the end, Ara chose to be her true self and that C.J. accepted her as she is. Currently this book rating is 3.5 stars.