An Autobiography of Skin

by Lakiesha Carr

Heat. Fire. Rain so blue. The blackness. The color of our hue.

A magisterial, intimate look at Black womanhood--the grief that is carried within the body and the bonds of love that grant strength

A middle-aged woman feed slots at a secret, back-room parlor. A new mother slowly realizes that no amount of success can erase Blackness. A young woman returns home to join the other women in her family in waging spiritual combat with the ghosts of their past.

An Autobiography of Skin is a masterful portrait of interconnected generations in the South from a singular new voice, offering a raw and tender view into the private lives of Black women. It is at once a powerful look at how trauma is carried inside the body, inside the flesh and skin, and a dazzling testament to how healing can be found within--in love, mercy, gratitude, and freedom.

Genres: Fiction, Literary Fiction, Race, Mental Health, Feminism, Contemporary, African American

256 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 28, 2023

Reviews

[Stitching Ghost · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first story was really strong and I wanted to spend more time with it, the last one was way too long and meandering for me.

[Robert Jr. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was stunned by Lakiesha Carr's preciseness of memory; how she remembers things that most people do not--the ancient things, the careless things, the shameful things--because forgetting feels better. It's courageous to give them voice; and not just any voice, but a singsongy one, like a blues or a gospel. So beautifully crafted, An Autobiography of Skin is a dangerous and needed magic, both frightening and joyful in its conjuring.

[Cheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

’Some women wait for themselves around the next corner and call the empty spot peace but the opposite of living is only not living and the stars do not care.’ –Audre Lorde

A beautifully written, if often disturbing, debut. A glimpse into the lives of Black women whose lives are haunted /impacted by family, religion, drugs, alcohol and their relationships with men, and family. Set in Texas, this is a story of family - how they can heal, as well as destroy one another. Their stories are not happy ones, although there are lighter moments. There is beauty, an occasional tenderness, but this is not a light and fluffy story.

Nettie’s story is shared as this begins, a woman who is the daughter of parents who were part of the civil rights movement, and married to a man who seems almost like a ghost in her life. They live their lives in the same house, but are like ships passing in the night. She escapes to spend her time drinking and gambling, and is careless. She shares her thoughts with Peaches, her friend, on a regular basis, as they talk on the phone most nights.

Maya’s story follows Nettie’s, a woman who is told by a doctor that she is not physically equipped to bear children. Her mother offers her advice on how ‘the Goddess’ will help her, her grandmama offers her advice to pray and read Psalms 91, and place her bible under her pillow. Maya goes on to have two baby boys, both born prematurely, a year apart. She is obsessed by the endless news reports of Black people being killed by police, and now worries about her children growing up in this environment. Her obsession worsens, and mentally she begins to unravel.

Katinah, Maya’s friend, shares her story which pulls their stories together in the third and last section. Katinah sees ghosts, as does her grandmother, Mama Eloise, who cautions Katinah about how she is living her life.

A glimpse at the lives of these Black women, their connections, friendship, love, longing, sorrow, vulnerability and joy.


Pub Date: 28 Feb 2023

Many thanks for the ARC provided by Knopf, Pantheon, Vintage, and Anchor / Pantheon

[BookOfCinz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am always looking to read books about generation of Black Women and this one I immediately took a liking to.

We meet three women who are connected in some way, we follow their stories, their traumas and how they are navigating life. I felt the first two stories about the older woman and the new mother were very strong but the last story I felt lost the plot.

I did enjoy being in the world that was created by the writer and I look forward to what she writes next.

[Amerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Amerie's Book Club selection for the month of March is AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF SKIN by Lakiesha Carr!

Follow @AmeriesBookClub on IG, and watch the chat between me and Lakiesha Carr on my @Amerie's Instagram profile 1pm EST/10am PST. Bring your questions!

In this love letter to women, Lakiesha Carr drops us into the lives of a multigenerational group of unforgettable women. We experience their tumultuous relationships—with themselves, with their own bodies, with their motherhood, with their romantic partners, with each other—as they navigate loneliness, depression, and even one remarkable ability. Part of the book’s pleasure is discovering how the women are connected via three achingly poignant, interconnected stories, connections which are not at all typical, but unexpected and true-to-life.

@AmeriesBookClub @Amerie #ReadWithAmerie #AmeriesBookClub #LakieshaCarr #AnAutobiographyofSkin
📚
ABOUT LAKIESHA CARR
Lakiesha Carr graduated from Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, and received her MFA at the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, where she was awarded a Maytag Fellowship for Excellence in Fiction and a Jeff and Vicki Edwards Post-graduate Fellowship in Fiction. A journalist and writer from East Texas, she has held various editorial and production positions with CNN, The New York Times, and other media. Her writing has received support from the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, the Callaloo Creative Writing Workshop, the DC Commission on Arts & Humanities for nonfiction writing, and the Kimbilio Fellowship for fiction writing. An Autobiography of Skin is her first book.

[Aubrei K (earlgreypls) · Rating 3 out of 5]

One thing about me is that if a book says it's about generations of Black women... I will be reading it.

An Autobiography of Skin is essentially a set of three separate (but somewhat interconnected) novellas. I didn't realize this going into it and I think I would have felt differently about the book if I had.

You know when you are in the beginning of a story and getting to know the characters and just getting more and more amped up for the climax (or even just for learning more about the characters if it's not plot driven)? I was expecting to spend a long time with the characters I began the story with, so I felt unfulfilled and disappointed when each story ended.

The first story was about a middle aged woman with a bit of a gambling addiction. I thought this character was so captivating - even when she wasn't doing anything special. I love seeing older women as protagonists because I feel like it's something that isn't done often enough. I thought the pacing was great and overall I really enjoyed this one.

The second story was absolutely my favorite. It was about a woman suffering from postpartum depression. It was heartbreaking and shocking and tender and a devastating picture of being a Black mother having to worry about your Black children in a racist world. I would've loved more of this story, but I also really enjoyed it for what it was and don't feel like the length negatively impacted my experience reading it.

Now the third story... I did not like. I was very close to DNFing. It was twice as long as the first two stories and it felt lackluster to me. I was SO confused the whole time about who was who (there were some references to characters in past stories so it was difficult to find the connections in my opinion). This story also had many characters which was quite a shift from the first two which really only focused on one or two. I'm not sure I can pinpoint what didn't quite work for me on the last one, but it negatively impacted my view of the book as a whole.

The first two stories I truly enjoyed and would recommend as novellas, the third just didn't seem to fit in at all.

*Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for the digital ARC in exchange for an honest review!

[emma charlton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sure but why would you print “a novel” on the cover of a book that is not a novel?? same vibes as all the musical trailers trying to hide that they’re musicals… these are short stories/novellas!!

[Denise LaRosa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Out of Carr’s debut novel emerges the narratives of 3 Black women whose lives are interwoven in profound ways. Broken down into 3 parts, each woman shares her raw truth as she’s positioned to explore, identify, and reckon with hard truths that are reflected in their bodies.

Our bodies feel trauma in numerous ways. The interconnectedness between emotional and physical pain is real. Each of these women demonstrate the rawness of this reality in different, yet relatable ways. I personally was drawn to Nettie’s story, which happened to be part one of the novel. I enjoyed experiencing a day in her life. Carr’s written expression of Nettie made the mundane a lyrical, deeply immersive journey. Maya’s gripping struggle with postpartum depression was achingly difficult yet important to read about. Ketinah’s story is a generational exploration. This third and final part went a bit long for me whereas I felt part one wasn’t long enough. I found myself desperately yearning to spend more time with a character, or being exhausted from too much time spent with the other. While pacing was an issue for me, Carr more than makes up for it with her excquisite writing.

Carr is definitely an author who is just getting started. I have a feeling she will be offering us many more gems in the future.

[Kasa Cotugno · Rating 4 out of 5]

Three novellas, each presenting a wholly sympathetic female protagonist, which provides an inside view of contemporary issues facing African American women and their inner lives and the effects of primarily grief driven outside influences. While there are splashes of humor, for the most part the reader can't help but harbor a deep empathy for each woman.

[Bobbieshiann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I almost forgot that the enjoyment of a book does not have to be lasting, but what you take from it can be. An Autobiography of Skin was a hit and a miss for me. Three stories connected in some way, detail the body and skin in ways that are relatable and aching. Yesterday Was a Dream, Today Is a Miracle spreads vulnerability throughout its pages as Carr details the body, from its vulmptousiness to its aging as the skin sags over. Carr address the once youthfulness turned into old age and how colorism in our community is present. “Well hell, we all black in the dark. I figure you might as well be a nigga somewhere. If not in this place, at this hour”. (reference to a Black man of lighter complexion).

Lost Your Head Blues tells of the transformation of the body during pregnancy, the complications of carrying a baby, undiagnosed postpartum depression, and how a mother gets lost in the deaths of other Black bodies as she starts to lose herself. The relationship before the babies was one of growth and individual self until the routine of life was no longer justifiable. After kids, Mya was childlike herself as her children’s crying was soothed with her own tears until they fell asleep. Her madness turned into the bleaching of her children’s skin, but she had a purpose. If their brown skin can turn pink, her babies can pass for white. Can be safe in a world where Black bodies are not safe by any means. “Don’t you watch the news? You see the Black and brown boys kill each other and the white men kill them all. I figured if my boys have white skin, at least they have a chance. A camouflage. Protection”.

An Autobiography of Skin was my least favorite story until I sat with it. With the understanding of how flawed the word “love” is, how fragile, compassionate, and so close to lust that it can shatter a body both physically and mentally. The body abused for materialistic things is pierced with bullets from an ex-lover’s rage but then there is the way the body betrayed you personally. The way it weathered away or held so much weight, you can’t put one foot in front of the other without help. “And you remember Mama told you this, everybody we love and the ways we choose to love ‘em ain’t gon always line up with how we think love supposed to be. How we was taught”.

Side note: Men play a role in each story, and there is almost no complete ending besides the last story that holds healing.

[Mae · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Pantheon for sending me a copy of An Autobiography of Skin to read and review. The book follows three Black women, and explores their friendships, family, love, struggles, joy, and their lives overall. The main characters are Nettie, Maya, and Katinah. Maya was my favorite character to follow, but I love all of them. The book was broken up into three parts, each concentrating on one of the main characters. I am not a Black woman, but the characters were relatable in some ways for me. Carr writes her characters so beautifully, they are so real and relatable. I do think the book could have been longer. I wanted more time with some of the characters, to get to know them more.

The writing style is beautiful. Lakiesha Carr is an amazing author, and I can't wait to read another book of hers. Definitely an auto-read author. You will definitely feel a lot while reading this. Look up triggers before reading this book. We get glimpses into the lives of these Black women and see the struggles they go through. There are some lighter and happy moments, but this is not a light read. The book talks about mental health, drug abuse, family, alcoholism, abuse, racism, sexism, and emotional healing. If you are in the right mental health space to read a more difficult book you should definitely pick this up. This is not a light read, but you will learn a lot and connect with some amazing people.

Book Summary:
Heat. Fire. Rain so blue. The blackness. The color of our hue. A magisterial, intimate look at Black womanhood: the grief that is carried within the body and the bonds of love that grant strength. A middle-aged woman feeds slots at a secret, back-room parlor. A new mother descends into a devastating postpartum depression, wracked with the fear that she is unable to protect her children. A daughter returns home to join the other women in her family waging spiritual combat with the ghosts of their past.

An Autobiography of Skin is a dazzling and masterful portrait of interconnected generations in the South from a singular new voice, offering a raw and tender view into the interior lives of Black women. It is at once a powerful look at how experiences are carried inside the body, inside the flesh and skin, and a joyous testament to how healing can be found within--in love, mercy, gratitude, and freedom.

Author: Lakiesha Carr
Published date: 2/28/23
Pages: 256
Stars: 4 out of 5

[James B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to Netgalley and Pantheon for the ebook. A beautiful and insightful first novel that lets us follow three different black women who are slightly connected to each other. The first, Miss Nettie, gives colonics in her house so she can gamble at the underground slot machine parlor. The second shows a young mother of two boys, whose husband has made it off the streets to producing porn, and is just as ashamed as he was of his earlier career, even though this brings in legal riches, is struggling with depression and takes an unhealthy obsession about what is happening to black boys and the police and the unhealthy remedy she comes up with to protect her boys. The third is about a daughter who rattles around a large house, which her uncle bought after an accident claim was settled, as she and the older women of her family try and rid themselves of a man from the past, now a ghost, refuses to leave them alone. These stories are deep cuts, but always told with great heart and ready humor.

[Dysha Cole · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me a copy of this book. I was drawn in by the idea of the book. Unfortunately, it pains me to say that I actually hate this book. It comes across as fake deep, with incomplete stories. The 2nd story made the most sense to me as a mother but the writing falls flat even here. I would not recommend this book at all.

[ReadnliftwithShar · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had an arc from netgalley & the publisher.

The book was okay to me, it took me longer than I expected to finish. The book is broken into three parts and I thought that was a good touch. The writing was good, the storytelling was okay to me. The author was very descriptive with the scenes, I could picture the things as they happened. I just don’t think this book was for me.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free e-arc of this book through Netgalley. This book takes you deep into the inner lives of some black women in the South. As a white middle class woman, this can feel like being plunged into the deepest freezing ocean and it is very uncomfortable to be immersed in the narrative at times, but it's important to read about lives other than our own. The beauty of even the hard moments comes through in the writing. The struggle to be alive and to be in our own bodies and minds no matter our socioeconomic status or the color of our skin.

[Régine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like you either get this or you don’t. Growing up surrounded by the strongest black and brown women I’ve ever known, those that have seen struggle and passed on their learnings to generations of daughters, this really spoke to my heart and soul. This book, though an exploration of generational trauma, felt like warm hugs and smelt like a long day of cooking.

[Cassandra Haywood · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is my first time reading a book by this author and it was not a good read for me. It turns out there are 3 stories written separately. Sorry to say each story was a struggle to read and keep my interest.

[NIA IG: bookbaenia_ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Let’s just say I’m so glad I’m done reading this book. The first two stories were solid but the last one was sooo long and it dragged I can barely even articulate what it was about.

[Beverlee · Rating 3 out of 5]

An Autobiography of Skin is a collection of 3 short stories, the women in each story being loosely connected by friendship and a stronger family tie makes up the third story. Each story on it’s own is well-written, what confused me as a reader is why the stories are included in one book because they’re so different. The first story introduces the reader to Nettie and her husband, her loyal customer, and the people at the spot where she gambles. Nettie’s life appears to be one of missed opportunities, not exactly struggle but more of the consequence of settling for less. The second story involved a young mother, Maya who follows her heart, first by marrying Troy, then by giving up on her career before it starts when they move to a new city. Motherhood seemed like a logical next step but even that doesn’t come easy. Her baby boys are born early and Maya is desperate to protect them from harm, especially as the news is a painful reminder that Black lives aren’t valued. Her solution, to bleach their skins, reveals the depths of her depression. In this story, Troy suffers from depression though it isn’t as visible as Maya’s, a quiet commentary unto itself, Ketinah, Maya’s best friend is introduced here and her story makes up the bulk of the book. Ketinah has the gift of sight, a blessing or curse depending on your perspective. She,her mother Peaches, grandmother Mama Eloise, great aunt Lena, and Aunt Bee are gathered to rid themselves of the demons that haunt them. Each lady has loved and been hurt painfully in life, all have decided it’s time to live rather than wait to die, all recognizing that death is ever present.
3 stars because I think the first two stories were too short compared to the last story and lacked the same development. I think each story could be a novella rather to put together because there isn’t much that ties the stories together. However, I think the reason the three stories are included because of one thing-each woman is a Black woman with a unique story. Skin color influences their journey to some degree, especially Mama Eloise. I think their the bigger picture is that regardless of the pain and hurt, these women are beautiful, intelligent, and should be valued by the people in their lives.
Quotable: “for anything to grow in God’s world you got to first believe it can” (172).

[Shell (booksbythecup)]

DNF. The premise of this book seemed intriguing. Black women across the ages have dealt with innumerable challenges. Part 1 we get a glimpse into the life of Jeanette, who's only solace is her cigarettes, slot machines and late night TV shoes.

Part 2 there's Maya who is suffering from post partum and eventually breaks down. The side bars in this storyline did not do anything for me emotionally causing my interest to wane to the point of disinterest. Her relationship with her husband Troy how they met was fine, but his business, the crass language and his profession (adult entertainment) could have been flushed out of the story to a point that the reader doesn't need that commentary. I skipped the superfluous parts to find out what happened to Maya after her breakdown. The confrontation between Maya's dad and Troy was the point that I started to care again.

Part 3 I didn't care for the beginning and I decided to DNF. I have too many books left to read to care how this ended.

[Stefani · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is interesting in that it’s split into three parts, like three separate novellas. The first part felt almost too short? I felt like we didn’t get enough time with those characters. The second part was heartbreaking, a really powerful story. And the last part, which was the longest I think, was so messy and different from the first two it didn’t even feel like the same book?

The writing of the first two novellas was amazing. But the third one kept switching character POV, sometimes mid paragraph, the first part of the novella felt different from the ending that seemed totally out of nowhere?

I also was expecting all the novellas to connect in some way, but I only caught the connection between the first and third, I’m not sure I caught if there was a tie to the second. I had a hard time staying focused on the third novella, unfortunately.

Overall, I was really enjoying this book until I got to the third novella, and then it lost me. The first and second are definitely worth the read though, those were really well done.

3.5⭐️

[Snem · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has a very unique voice. The way Carr describes how emotional and physical pain works its way through the body and the interconnection of trauma was very well done. Maya’s postpartum depression was heartbreaking. Complex characters.

Lots of triggers in here, some parts are difficult. The first section was too short for my taste and felt incomplete. The last part was a bit all over the place. I wanted more of a clear overlap in the stories.

This was good as three separate novellas. Read if you’re looking for a fresh voice, but it’s not light vacation reading. Don’t let the meh ending overshadow the high points.

[Kayla Calkin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was great until it wasn’t … the first half loved, then got completely lost in second half and it never made sense again.

[Celina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read Part I, the first 35 pages, in the Paris Review and loved it. From there it went downhill. All I could do with the last 80 pages was skim.

[Marissa Bracker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was beautifully written in a sort of poetic, stream-of-consciousness style that I don’t think I’ve read before. I do wish the author had lingered a bit more on the first two stories.

[mel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I expected a novel, instead there are three short stories and novellas.

[M R · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is not at all what I was expecting and for awhile I was debating whether this was going to get 2 or 3 stars from me. For a moment, I didn't think I liked the book, but I realized while reading the last part that there was some wisdom and I actually did like the stories, or at least 2 out of 3 of them. When the jacket said the stories were interconnected, I thought it would be more that what it was in this book, which I think is part of what threw me off. I will say that the grief, hurt and madness was almost palpable in the second part. While I wasn't sure how I was feeling about part 3 for most of it, especially as we got into the dream sequences, I realized there was something to be learned from that part, even though I think there were a few too many characters and histories to be keeping track of in that short of a story and some editing errors that confused me at times. Overall, I will say that I liked the book because it gave me something to consider and taught me something, and that is important and powerful.

Quotes I liked:
"...She felt understood. Not approved of or otherwise but sometimes understanding was all it took between humans, and especially women. It was all that was needed."

"Living is one thing, making sense of it another."

"I release my fear," I said. "I let go of my anger and grief. I let go of expectations of something bigger than myself. Of hating myself for what I think I'm not because I can't see what I am."

[Chantél Baxter · Rating 1 out of 5]

I couldn’t do it. I tried. I read 121 pages. I was often confused. It was dry and very flat at times. I really wanted to like it. I found a summary online and read that.

[Roni · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's a tremendous amount of pain and danger that being in a Black body entails. Specifically being a Black woman means having your body picked and picked over. However, there is so much joy in being an unapologetically Black woman. Lakeisha Carr captures both so well. These characters are rich, complicated, fierce and funny. An instant classic.

[jo · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Creating that smoke is what I liked to do. A lazy sort of cloud that held in the air long enough for me to see the future, revisit the past, the everything at once found within that haze. I let my thoughts drift, curl, and bend as the smoke did; full with memories before tapering out and disappearing.”

“My own ultimate secret was my grief.“

💌 Thank you to Vintage for sending me this paperback copy of the novel.

This novel is told in three somewhat connected stories, and follow the lives of different Black women who are experiencing their own struggles and dynamic life experiences. The first story, which was my favorite, focuses on a middle-aged woman, and whether or not there is love in her marriage as she indulges in playing the slots. The story was terrific. I could’ve read an entire novel about this woman and their marriage, easily. And even though I think the story would’ve been great as a novel, even as a short story, it is the kind of glimpse into a life that can be very impactful. It gives you a lot to think about. The second story is about a woman who struggles to have children and then does have children, but after having those children, she suffers with her mental health. Her fear is all consuming, the need to keep them safe in a world that doesn’t value Black boys. The story also looks at ideas of sex and power dynamics within sex and sex work and really takes us in a lot of different directions. The story that comes last and takes up the most of the novel is one about a woman who can interact with the spirit world. And looks at the generations dynamics.

The individual parts of this novel were incredible. The writing is phenomenal. It is almost dreamlike at times, a real emotion runs through it, and it has a lyrical or poetic rhythm. She crafts characters that you undoubtedly feel empathy towards. Their situations are so difficult, and there are elements to connect to in the stories that make for (what should be) an extremely impactful hit. The ideas that the author wants to look at are both universal and extremely specific. Things like the Black body, womanhood and specifically, Black womanhood, marriage, and love and motherhood, and other things I’ve mentioned above are on every page. Unfortunately, the short story form that the author chose didn’t lend itself well to having the final product be as impactful as I had hoped or it could have been. We simply needed more pages to explore these characters and ideas. More breathing room.

But that being said, there’s enough here for me to know that she is definitely an author for me. And I can’t wait to read more from her in the future. I think a novel would be my ideal piece from her, one that is not told in stories like this one. Or a poetry collection! I do love poetry, and so I’m always looking for more poetry, but her authorial voice and her ideas are quite evocative, interesting and meaningful.