i had a whole detailed review planned out but then i got to "Veni vici.... Vetinari" and was left speechless. the rizz the sass the CUNT!!! and don't even get me started on "Vetinari's terrier"!!! there is VetVimes everywhere for those with the eyes to see.*
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and i'm BACK for more Discworld-posting! the "detailed review" thing is obviously not in the cards for me, but!! i have compiled a numbered list of thoughts and impressions! let us commence:
1) i was talking to a friend about how Jingo, just like any other Watch book, is basically "Racism Bad: The Police Procedural". but what's interesting here is that unlike most Discworld books, where the races in questions are humans, trolls, dwarves, etc., here we have... hwhite people being racist against people from the Middle East?! mind you, this book came out in the 90s, so before the huge rise of anti-Arab/Muslim racism in the wake of 9/11 (not that i'm implying there wasn't anti-Arab sentiment before that). honestly idk why pratchett decided to do a human racism book in the fantasy racism subseries, but it was good so i'm not complaining.
2) Vetinari's terrier. it does bear repeating. Vimes is all like "welp, i guess we're all someone's dog" BUT ARE WE, SAMUEL. ARE WE.
3) bit of a continuity error - it's established pretty early on (and definitely matches with the impression i got from all the other discworld books i've read) that Anhk-Morpork hasn't been in a war in ages. when we are first introduced to Colon and Nobby back in Guards! Guards! we find out that they used to be soldiers (well, that Colon used to be a soldier and that Nobby used to scavange battlefields for boots to nick), but it's sort of a throway introduction that a lot of characters got and that was liable to being retconned. certainly nothing about the way Ankh-Morpork functions seems to indicate that it is at all militaristic. but THEN mid-way through the book we have Colon reminiscing about his terrible time in the war (which we have to assume took place some 20-25 years ago). and THEN some 100 pages later we have Vimes thinking about how nobody has been to war in so long that the only combatants he can remember were very old men he knew when he was very young??? i legit think this is something that wasn't caught in the edit?? anyway it was weird.
4) i will never get angua and carrot. i still think sir terry just wrote two hot young people and smashed them together like barbie dolls. don't get me wrong, both of them are interesting in their own right, and it's even cool reading about one through the eyes of the other, but you cannot convince me these people are in love or that they have ever had sex. iirc in one of the later books angua legit has better banter/chemistry with gaspode, and he's A TALKING DOG.
5) that being said, carrot's superpower (other than, you know, the charisma of being a mythical king figure) is the fact that he takes an interest in people, and that is so wasteland baby coded, you have no idea. i know i'll never be as Good(TM) of a person as carrot is, but i read "he makes space in his head for people" and i was like YESSSSSS THAT'S ME BABY!! finally i can relate to someone cooler than magrat garlick!!!
6) other than the inconsistency i mentioned before, my major problem with Jingo is the slight whiff of casual queerphobia. which is not to say that i think *sir terry* was homophobic or transphobic - i think anyone who had the good fortune to grow up reading his work has a very keen sense of his deep humanism. rather, i think that there is an element of "teeeheee let's imply something might be queer but then we learn it's not and everyone is relieved" that is probably a sign of the times, but i found it really offputting. the most obvious example being Nobby's Beti arc (she/her Nobby Nobbs you will always be famous!!!) - because i can so easily imagine a version of this book where literally everything about that subplot is the same, but a few jokes are omitted or subtly changed, and all of a sudden it doesn't bother me at all. it's weird, coming across jokes that one feels cross the line or don't land quite right (i remember feeling a similar way about a lot of Maskerade). sigh.
7) 71-hour ahmed was a really fun counterpoint to vimes! "all i know, there must be a policeman, even for kings" and here's vimes - "all it really meant was that he was allowed to chase the little criminals, who did the little crimes. there was nothing he could do about the crimes that were so big you couldn't even see them. you lived in them" UGH EXCELLENT. and of course we mustn't forget one of the best passages of the whole book:
"it was much better to imagine men in some smoky room somehere, made mad and cynical by privilege and power, plotting over the brandy. you had to cling to this sort of image, because if you didn't then you might have to face the fact that bad things happened because ordinary people, the kind who brushed the dog and told their children bedtime stories, were capable of then going out and doing horrible things to other ordinary people. it was so much easier to blame it on Them. it was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. if it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. if it was Us, what did that make Me? after all, i'm one of Us. i must be. i've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. no-one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. we're always one of Us. it's Them that do the bad things."
8) that climactic scene where vimes is kinda going loco bcs of his dis-organizer reporting everyone's deaths in the other timeline and he is THIS CLOSE to shooting the ruling price of klatch and you're like ??? sammy my boy??? but then all of a sudden you read "Ah....Commander Vimes...." <3333
9) vimes trying to arrest both of the armies for disruption of peace and carrot restoring peace by having them play football... find me a better dynamic duo
10) "'i feel certain i ought to be wearing more chains,' said lord vetinari, as they paused in the doorway and looked at the assembled crowd.
'are you taking this seriously, sir?' said vimes.
'incredibly seriously, commander, i assure you. but if by some chance i survive, i authorize you to buy some shackles. we must learn to do this sort of thing properly.'
'i shall keep them handy, i assure you.'
'good.'
this is a romcom. to me.
11) veni vici VETINARI, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!
*just googled this to double-check the article usage and apparently my beloved tumblr meme "there are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see" (most commonly seen crossing my dash when concerning matters of unhinged rpf) is a jordan peterson original. something this ridiculous somehow seems right, for a terry pratchett review.