You Still Look the Same

by Farzana Doctor

A moving collection of poetry about navigating mid-life, full of humour and wit, from acclaimed novelist Farzana Doctor

This debut poetry collection from acclaimed novelist Farzana Doctor is both an intimate deep dive and a humorous glance at the tumultuous decade of her forties. Through crisp and vivid language, Doctor explores mid-life breakups and dating, female genital cutting, imprints of racism and misogyny, and the oddness of sex and love, and urges us to take a second look at the ways in which human relationships are never what we expect them to be.

Genres: Poetry, Audiobook, LGBT, Canada, Muslims, Nonfiction

96 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2022

About the author

I'm the author of Stealing Nasreen (Inanna 2007) and Six Metres of Pavement (Dundurn, 2011), All Inclusive (Dundurn, 2015) and Seven (2020).

My poetry collection, You Still Look The Same, will be released in 2022.

Reviews

[Avani ✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was strong and powerful.

[Bethany (Beautifully Bookish Bethany) · Rating 4 out of 5]

You Still Look the Same is a poetry collection about being 40 and a queer, Indian, Muslim woman. Some of the poems were a little lackluster, but others were funny, thought-provoking, or touching. The author talks about her age, social beauty conventions, relationships, queerness, culture, religion, and more. I'm glad I gave the collection a try. Thank you to Libro.FM for providing an audio copy for review, all opinions are my own.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Hema Vyas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started reading Farzana's book on a Saturday afternoon and was completely enthralled. Her poetry brought me calmly and wholly into a universe that was strangely familiar, with its simple and beautifully descriptive language. I am hoping for more of her poetry in years to come.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

You Still Look the Same by Farzana Doctor is a great poetry book debut! I listened to the audiobook which was my first poetry audiobook ever! Both narrators, the author and Ulka Simone Mohanty, did an excellent job! These poems discuss a wide range of topics including memory, dating, ageing, and relationships. My fave poem is Swipe Left which was the most humorous poem in this collection. I’d still be curious to read the print version of this book to see the visual form of all the poems.

Thank you to Freehand Books and Farzana Doctor via NetGalley for my ALC!

[Min · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook of this poetry collection and it was beautiful. I was transported into a universe of stories that both moved and educated me. I haven’t written poetry in a long time but this book has inspired me and made me think I want to write again.
I really recommend it to poets and non-poets alike.

[Rose 🥀 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Libro.fm for an audiobook of You Still Look The Same by Farzana Doctor. This is a collection of poems about loss, love, race and sex. I loved every moment of this audiobook!

[Raynee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you Libro.fm for giving me an ALC.

[Maria Meindl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each of the four sections of You Still Look the Same begins with a task: to describe an experience in as few words as possible, so I guess it’s not surprising that the first word that came to mind when I read it was “distilled.” Each poem opens up, not just a story, but a world, in a series of exquisitely precise moments.

The book follows ten years in the author’s life, and it has the nourishing quality of writing that has had a chance to gain depth and resonance with time. It also shows someone living through her forties in a way I don’t think I’ve read before, giving space and time to a decade-long process in the author’s own terms.

It’s a time of letting go of what is inessential, grappling with loss, trauma and injustice, and building a physical and emotional home on a more solid foundation. It’s also a decade which the narrator’s mother did not have the chance to experience. She navigates these years without a model, and the book is eloquent in expressing the unending and ever-shifting cycles of grief.

Farzana Doctor is known as a novelist, and of course, I looked for her familiar voice within the pages of this book. All the clean, clear engaging description, the lovingly drawn characters are here, but the poetic form allows for something more. Though there is plenty of humour and tenderness, You Still Looks the Same sits unapologetically with pain, rage and longing. Though the overall arc of the book is toward healing, there are many poems where nothing gets solved. The poems inhabit these emotions in a way that felt, in itself, healing to read.

The other word that came to mind was “confidence,” and not just because it’s a self-assured poetic debut. I thought a lot about the good feeling the book gave me, as if my nervous system had received a boost. It is not a soothing book, or a book that reinforces the status quo, but the author presents her material in a particular way. As a reader I felt confided-in.

Confidences call forth a particular kind of listening. You Still Look the Same took me to difficult places, in its frank calling out of everyday racism (which had me contemplating my own white-lady heedlessness and apathy in the face of injustice); and places where I can’t go, in the excruciating – yet profoundly nuanced – poems which centre on the practice of khatna. Yet these distilled poems show an author choosing precisely what to reveal and how, and there’s deep satisfaction being invited on the journey.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

'As I ash my bedtime cigarette,
do they see me inhaling the night?' ~pg.9
•
'This middle age,
skin marked
by births and ink,
sagging tits.
I wonder why stretch marks don't make a body more supple.'~pg.20
•
'May we fill other cups,
pull the lovers cup anew,
our fates finally turning,
may you not turn up in my poems anymore,
the cycle forever ending' ~pg.46
•
🌿
Thoughts ~
A tender and candid collection exploring midlife, relationships, loss, pain, grief, love and trauma.

Farzana Doctor's poems are overflowing with lived experience. I appreciated her voice, representing midlife. These poems are confessional by nature, the sheer messiness of life and living through it. Of heartaches, of pain, of violence to the body, of truth and of love. Enjoyed this one.

Thank You @freehandbooks for sending me this, opinions are my own.

For more of my book content check out instagram.com/bookalong

[Katey Flowers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank Libro.fm for a copy of the audiobook.

I don’t read a lot of poetry, but this audiobook was both beautiful and engaging. I loved that we got narration both from an audiobook narrator (Ulka Simone Mohanty) and from the author herself as well. The poems were modern, clear, sometimes funny, sometimes heartbreaking. Themes and experiences related to grief, love, sex, racism, religion/culture, and genital mutilation.

[Orsayor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommended Reading…

[M Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice collection of poems with dating and relationships at the center. Thanks to Librofm for this audiobook. My thoughts are my own.

[Sandis]

Nah.

[Brandon Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5

Thank you to Libro.FM for a free ALC of this book!

I really enjoyed this collection; I especially loved the poems about the injustices of young girls within the some sects of Islamic culture because I was unaware of them prior to these poems. I think that Doctor also does a phenomenal job at discussing the complexities of relationships.

The reason I gave this 3.5/5 stars is because of the medium from which I read this collection: audiobook. I've learned with other poetry collections I've listened to that I don't enjoy them as much as when I'm reading them with my eyes; however, because this audiobook was free from Libro.FM, I still wanted to listen to it.

I think that if I ever read this collection again, it will be the physical version. I still really enjoyed it, overall, and I think that Doctor did an incredible job with her first book of poetry.

[Aditya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Are you looking for a book that focuses on mid-life relationships and addresses rarely discussed issues? Then you should positively get your hands on this debut Poetry Book, 'You still look the same,' by Farzana Doctor. The book contains a collection of poems, her thoughts and a glance into her forties. The poems generally focus on heartbreak, blossoming new love, and the dating experience of a forty-two-year-old woman. Some poems also shed light on unfounded religious conventions that we continue to follow. We keep handing down the wrong rituals to our children and grandchildren. The book is a compilation of ideas written in crisp, easy-to-understand language and concrete.

Diving deep
The book is divided into four parts which consist of poems from different niches. This methodological arrangement makes the reader focus on one particular message the author is trying to convey using her poems. By the time we learnt to operate gadgets, we can understand that there are lots of things our parents probably skipped to teach us. It is what Blame it on childhood portrays. The author has turned Hot Yoga into a humorous poem, which will make the reader go LOL.
The poem Carried Away speaks about heartbreak. One moves out of a relationship when broken from the inside. Left with nothing to say except a simple OKAY. In the poem, Forty-three the author tried to show how everything changes when you start ageing but deep down, you want that inner child to stay alive and sometimes our old self struggles to fit into that attire the author beautifully depicts this in a witty way

"My head aches,
blisters bubble at heels,
waistband digs a trench around belly.
New date says: you look sexy.
I blush and swoon.”

One should never consider age as a permission letter to do things you enjoy the most. One should not stop living because you have stepped into your forties or fifties. Date night is a poem on fresh new love and the bubbles it brings with it. Love is a tricky thing; it is unpredictable when it will change for someone.

The poem Zainab which comes after the 'Khatna Suite' will make the readers numb it shows the pain and discomfort a girl faces after imposing all the false norms like ‘khatna’ or genital cutting in the name of Allah, she depicts the actual pain in these lines,
"but there are nights
alone in bed
when all I feel is
your stamp of shame"

In the poem, Twitter trolls aka Bohra women for “religious freedom” the author nailed it. It is a 'Woke' society but sometimes we continue following wrong rituals in the name of religion or ‘dharma’ without thinking twice. And if someone speaks against these rituals they are being muted, catcalled and even harassed. An imagined mithi sitabi for seven years old asked to teach children how a human being should be and teach children about their land. In the following lines,
"Ask them to be better,
to be gracious,
to be merciful."

The author asked parents to raise their children to love rather than hate.
Childhood friendships are the purest form. Hard to find, difficult to leave. The author writes the same in You still look the same. It is about her longing to meet her friend. Now she again succeeds in meeting with her friend with the help of Facebook.
The poems like forty- three, Zainab, You still look the same, carried away, the poems related to Bohra women should reach readers. The easy flowing writing keeps the reader intrigued.

Recommended To
The book is recommended for those above 13+ years of age, as there is vocabulary that children cannot grasp. It is a breezy read and should be read slowly. The book is a combination of humorous, witty, and serious poems that will make the reader stick to the book. The reader can explore learning about love, friendship, mid-life dating and sexual pleasures and the problems faced by the girl child in the form of genital cutting.

[Amie's Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

FARZANA DOCTOR is a Canadian author and now poet who has won many, many literary awards. Each one was well deserved. 

I admit I am not usually a big fan of poetry. I find much of it to be pretentious, sometimes even condescending to the reader. Thus is 100% NOT the case with "You Still Look The Same."  In fact I enjoyed listening to Farzana's debut poetry collection immensely. 

I love the fact that Farzana chose to narrate part of her collection and choosing Ulka Simone Mohanty to narrate the rest of the poems was the perfect choice. Both narrators were easy to understand, as well as speaking clearly and concisely. This allowed the words of the poems to be the listener's focus ... as it should be.

Each haiku and other poems showcased the author’s talent for description. I believe this is because Farzana Doctor wrote fiction books first, before trying her hand at poetry.

In my opinion, one of Farzana's greatest gifts is her ability to connect with her audience. I found this to be true with her novels, and it is even more evident in her poetry.

It is my belief that audiobook listeners, especially women, will find that Farzana's experiences will resonate with them.

I was already a fan of Farzana Doctor's books. With YOU STILL LOOK THE SAME I am now an even bigger fan.

If you have not yet read any of her work, you are doing yourself a disservice. I suggest you run, not walk, to your nearest Indie bookstore to pick up your copy of this collection. While you are there, do yourself a favor and pick up copies of her other books as well. You just might find that you have a new favourite author. 

I rate "You Still Look The Same" as 5 out of 5 Stars ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ 

*** Thank you to #FarzanaDoctor for choosing me as one of the winners of this audiobook through a #giveaway on her Instagram account. ***

To hear an Excerpt from this audiobook, visit my blog at http://bit.ly/LookTheSame

Be sure to follow me on Instagram for upcoming book Giveaways and to find your next favorite 📚 book.

[ashley marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy.

What a beautiful overview of Doctor's life through her words. As a poetry collection often does, her poems jump between heavy and light moments, along with so more in-depth, authentic discussions about social issues (racism, sexism, genital mutilation). I appreciate the candor in which Doctor approached all of her poems, making it feel as if I was getting an intimate look at a friend's inner thoughts. I found myself writing titles of certain poems down that I know I'd wanted to listen to again or find in a printed copy so I'm able to revisit it.

I'd highly suggest it to those who appreciate looking at life through someone else's lens and feeling what you read. You are provided an insider's look into Doctor's mind and heart, both of which are endlessly curious and inviting.

[Kate (Reading Through Infinity)]

Thanks to Libro FM for sending me an advance copy of the audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

A solid debut collection covering themes of grief and loss, trauma, middle-age, love, and human connections. I particularly enjoyed the poems that focused on Doctor's experiences as a middle-aged woman because not many collections I've come across explore this period in life. Some poems were light-hearted and funny, others were sad and filled with loss. As with most collections, some poems weren't particularly memorable, but others stayed with me for days. Doctor's tone is almost conversational at times, as if she's sharing tales with the reader over dinner, making the collection feel personal and intimate.

[smell_of_a_book · Rating 4 out of 5]

This debut collection of poetry by Farzana Doctor, was such a beautiful little book.
What I love the most about poetry is that it is so raw, honest, an unapologetic.

I’ve been trying to read, and write more poetry as I do enjoy it.
There were parts of this book that were not for me, but there were also parts that felt they were only for me. I think that’s part of poetry.
I really enjoyed that the author was writing this as a woman in her 40’s, which is where I currently am 😬
There’s a lot of changes at this stage of the game, and I appreciate reading other women’s experiences and perspectives.

Thanks so much to @freehandbooks for sending me this book in exchange for my review.

QOTD: What type of books do you want to try to read more of?

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

[Paris Semansky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved YOU STILL LOOK THE SAME, the first collection of poetry from novelist @farzanadoctor. Organized into 4 sections of "therapy homework" on different themes, these rye, sharp, funny, and feminist poems were a treat.

An activist against the practice of FGM, Doctor includes some heartbreaking and illuminating poems about trauma and complicity. The throughline of her experience as a divorced, dating, woman of colour in her 40s is fierce, funny, and wonderfully uncompromising.

This was a total gem of a read that I wouldn't have heard of if not for the good work and recommendations of @the_fold.

[Tessa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for a copy of “You Still Look the Same” in exchange of an honest review. There’s so much covered in this compact collection. Much of it reads like a litany because of the compression of language. Doctor strategically creates sentences in which articles, subjects or verbs are omitted. It gives the collection a feeling of floating just above rocky ground. The collection covers age, race, gender, romantic relationships, familial relationships…altogether a moving debut of poetry.

[suvi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened the whole thing on a rainy afternoon in small down in Switzerland. It was a calm break from the hurry that has been my travel, even though the topics are important and some go on even on the heavier side.

I do wish to see this in print version as well to see how the typography would look like as I feel it brings a lot to the feeling of poems. Though the author and the reader did a wonderful job reading the poems, I really enjoyed both of their voices.

I really enjoyed this collection and I am looking forward to hopefully reading more poetry from the author in the future!

[Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

You Still Look the Same is a collection of poems by Farzana Doctor about her experiences with being a middle-aged, Islamic, queer woman of color. I listened to the audiobook of this poetry collection, and I absolutely loved the narrator’s performance. I found the emotions in the poetry to be highly relatable, even when I hadn’t been through the exact experience Doctor was describing. A thoroughly enjoyable collection of poetry

Many thanks to NetGalley for providing me an audio ARC of this book.

[TallieReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook and it sounded just like some good ass spoken word. Beautifully written and nuanced with lots of sensitive content that can’t be easy to write about beautifully. Love love loved it! This is the authentic, original type of poetry I hope to see more of. Some topics discussed are the effects of misogyny, genital mutilation, and racism. Definitely worth the read/listen. Big thanks to NetGalley and the publishers!

[Leah M · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to libro.fm for providing me with an ALC of this book.

I didn't realize that this was a poetry collection until I had already started reading it, and while I'm not generally a big fan of poetry, this was beautifully written. I found myself wanting to hear more about each of these poems in depth, learning more about the author's experiences, and was disappointed when it ended so quickly, since I didn't get to know the author as well as I'd have liked.

[wellreadtraveler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this short book of poetry through Libro.Fm and I was moved. I’m not a fan of poetry as I feel like I’m not smart enough to really get it, but after listening to this book I think I might try harder in the future. So beautiful spoken the author shared stories that will move you and really make you stop and think. Subjects I’ve heard of such as female genitalia mutilation but not in this manner. I really was moved at how beautiful this book was.

[Kelsey Weekman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I (like many other reviewers it seems) checked out the audiobook. That's not always my favorite way to consume poetry, but I thought this was so gorgeous and modern that it worked great. It's funny and deep and light and powerful all at once. I really appreciated the way Farzana Doctor spoke about middle age — it's something I personally don't often see in works like this. It feels trendy and sweet and heavy in the best way, and I can't wait to read more of her work.

Thank you to NetGalley and to the publisher for the free copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Kristens.reading.nook · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Libro.fm for an ALC. Poetry is beautiful to listen to on audio. There were a few poems that were a little much for my sensitive ears that I would have preferred to skim over with my eyes. But, they had to do with bodily mutilation that some young girls have experienced. The poems served a purpose, but again, they were hard to listen to.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful, poignant and simple poetry about love, pain, loneliness and freindship in your 40s. I liked the poem about watching a threesome in porn :) and my fav was I am not alone, about feeling connected to your community while living alone.