I did not receive a free copy in exchange for an honest review. I paid money for it to ensure a fair review.
I didn't think this was going to be my cup of perfectly brewed Earl Grey tea and I was right. I'll be honest, this isn't usually the sort of thing I would try and read. There's no violence, no spaceships, no killer clowns, no zombies, but I'm trying to read different things in order to hit my reading goal for this year. The reviews were good (more on that later) and it was only a quid (you can't get a good scone for a quid these days, also, it's jam then cream, you savages). I took an instant dislike to it, I'm afraid.
In A Scone To Die For we join Gemma, who has recently returned to Oxford after moving to Australia for a new job. Things were going okay, but she wasn't fulfilled, so she decided to come back to Oxford and open a tearoom. It's a reasonable success until the arrival of some American tourists, one of whom is later found dead with a scone stuffed down his throat. Gemma, channeling Jessica Fletcher, decides to lead her own investigation, helped by the Old Biddies, a group of nosy, scone-eating busybodies, and there's mild peril and stuff happens and at the end the killer is exactly who I thought it was (although fair play, not why I thought). If this were a film it'd be a PG and shown on one of those cheap film channels at the backend of the Sky EPG. It's mostly harmless.
Right from the start I kinda hated it. The main character is a whiny, self-pitying bore who stands by and watches her friend get sexually assaulted in the third chapter. After barely telling him off, the guy continues to lech after her and instead of barring the guy and telling him to fuck right off, our Gemma serves him and even lets him back the next day. This immediately set off alarm bells for me and it was mostly downhill for the character.
The lead investigator of the murder ends up being her ex and she spends most of the book acting like a child. She was just really unlikable and I'm honestly baffled by the praise for her and the other characters. The Old Biddies are almost funny, with a scene involving Muesli the cat and a dining table providing the book's only amusing moment.
In the book's defense, the mystery is mostly logical, albeit super dull. However, the reveal of the killer is pretty cheesy and convenient, featuring an unintentionally hilarious reason for trying to murder our brave, dull heroine. There are at least 8 lines of dialogue where a character tells someone, usually the gormless Gemma, that they're not just some characters in a mystery novel, you know. The third time it happened I rolled my eyes, the 7th and 8th times (both on the same bloody page) made me want to throw my Kindle out the window. It's a shit cliché that a good author can get away with using once, maybe, but to use it so many times is just proof of shoddy editing. There's also an interminable section where the author describes in great detail how to make a scone.
Sorry, I wanted to like this. I liked the title, but it's just not very good. Most of the beaming reviews seem to be from people who have received a copy of the book for free ("in exchange for an honest review"). This seems as dodgy as one of Gemma's scones, I'm not sure how someone can be honest when they're on friendly terms with a publisher giving them free stuff. The lack of reviews from actual paying customers is telling. The book is only 99p and it was a very breezy, if not enjoyable read. It's not as quaint, charming or funny as the blurb and reviews insist it is, so I'd recommend saving your money and buying a four pack of scones from Tesco (they're actually a pound and will be much easier to digest).