Letters to the Sons of Society: A Father's Invitation to Love, Honesty, and Freedom

by Shaka Senghor

The New York Times bestselling author of Writing My Wrongs invites men everywhere on a journey of honesty and healing through this book of moving letters to his sons—one whom he is raising and the other whose childhood took place during Senghor's nineteen-year incarceration.   “A visceral and visual journey for the ages . . . the perfect road map for us to remove the barriers and obstacles against our true feelings.”—Kenya Barris, creator of black-ishONE OF THE MOST ANTICIPATED BOOKS OF 2022—EssenceShaka Senghor has lived the life of two fathers. With his first son, Jay, born shortly after Senghor was incarcerated for second-degree murder, he experienced the regret of his own mistakes and the disconnection caused by a society that sees Black lives as disposable. With his second, Sekou, born after Senghor's release, he has experienced healing, transformation, intimacy, and the possibilities of a world where men and boys can openly show one another affection, support, and love.In this collection of beautifully written letters to Jay and Sekou, Senghor traces his journey as a Black man in America and unpacks the toxic and misguided messages about masculinity, mental health, love, and success that boys learn from an early age. He issues a passionate call to all fathers and sons—fathers who don't know how to show their sons love, sons who are navigating a fatherless world, boys who have been forced to grow up before their time—to cultivate positive relationships with other men, seek healing, tend to mental health, grow from pain, and rewrite the story that has been told about them.Letters to the Sons of Society is a soulful examination of the bond between father and sons, and a touchstone for anyone seeking a kinder, more just world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting, Memoir, Race, Mental Health, Family, Politics

219 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 18, 2022

Reviews

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shaka Senghor has won multiple awards, published a best-selling memoir, taught at the University of Michigan, and runs his own business. He is a father who wants the best for his children. He is also an African American man who was in prison at age nineteen and spent seven years in solitary confinement. His father’s letters sustained him in jail. Writing changed his life. His Letters to the Sons of Society is written to change the lives of his sons and the lives of black youth everywhere. For Senghor, nothing is more important than our children.

A lot of people believe in a divine power; others believe in the power of nature; but to me, the greatest power that drives our world is the love we have for our children.
from Letters to the Sons of Society by Shaka Senghor

Senghor reflects on his experiences and draws lessons. The letters are deeply humane, with sensitive insight, affirming and hopeful, universally applicable. I was very moved, my heart aching.

Senghor shares his own story of growing up middle class in Detroit, running away from home to escape abuse, and becoming embroiled in the drug trade. He was raped, shot at, and at age nineteen killed a man and sent to prison for nineteen years. He writes of losing his humanity and hope in prison until the support fellow of inmates helped him. How books and meditation and writing a journal changed him. Then, the difficulty of reentering society as man with a child’s experience of the world. He shares his story to honor the men he had left behind in prison. He tells about the daily struggle to speak honestly, affirm himself, and deal with the legacy of trauma. In 2017, his memoir Writing My Wrongs became a best seller. His activism brought attention, and he writes, “Think about this, my dear son. I had been let out of prison in 2010 and told that I’d be back in six months. Now I was slated to go to the White House just five years later.” “Things change,” he assures his son.

In prison he began to writing a journal. “It felt like an act of mediation,” he writes, that brought an “overwhelming sense of joy.” A pamphlet on meditation allowed him to learn to let go of what he could not control. “Letters saved my life,” he writes to his son Sekou.

Senghor helped create Men of Courage, a grassroots organization centered around storytelling.

There is so much to learn from this book. It is a confession in the literary sense. It is about the power of love. It is about the reality of prison. It is about race. And about the power of storytelling.

I was given a free egalley by Random House through NetGalley. My book review is fair and unbiased.

[Emmkay · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got a lot out of Senghor’s first book, Writing My Wrongs, which detailed his story of hard-won redemption over the course of twenty years in prison for a murder he committed as a teenager, so when I learned he had a new book out in 2022 I was eager to read it. This one is styled as a series of letters to his two sons: Jay, whom Senghor met via visits in prison when his son was a toddler and who was already a young adult when his father was released, and Sekou, who was born after Senghor was released, and whom he is co-parenting with Sekou’s mother, their relationship not having survived as they hoped after his release. He is frank about the struggles of adjusting to life after prison, even for a successful author with a family - for example in letters on addiction (reflecting on an episode of drunk driving that could have led to tragedy), and on his visceral reaction to returning to prisons both for his work and to visit when his older son is wrongfully arrested. I was moved by his advocacy in favour of seeing the humanity in everyone, even the police and prison officials he encounters, and against corporal punishment and sexualization of Black boys growing up in the US. I wasn’t a big fan of the letter format, but evidently it is what was most meaningful to him.

[Bobbieshiann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Letters to the Sons of Society is remarkable in its ability to be vulnerable. In letters to both sons, Jay and Sekou, Shaka disclosed the world through his eyes while aiming to protect his sons from the wickedness of the world through honesty. Beautifully written, it discusses injustice, lack of tears by young boys, sex, drugs, incarceration, life after prison, intimacy, rape, and much more. The divide comes in how both of his sons were made. Jay, his eldest son, grew up while Shaka was in prison for 19 years, and the disconnect was apparent but almost invisible to Shaka as he recalls himself as a boy trying to raise a boy. “Because of my choices, you were locked up, too. Your innocence was held hostage right alongside mine.” He did not understand how to be the father to his now grown son, but for Sekou, he loves openly and is a full-time coparent that shows the joy in what parenting looks like, but at the same time, these are men in Black bodies.

“Black body is not our own; it is controlled by the state, by corrections officers and police officers and all the other tools of oppressive society”. Victim to society and to the community you think would protect you. We learn of the many times Shaka was raped by older women but was not protected because the abuse of boys and men never seemed to make it to the forefront.

Shaka continues engrossing Sekou with moments and memories that shaped him but also showed how bright Sekou is and what will be different from him as his parents break free from the trauma when raising him. He shares influential Black men and women to look up to, but most importantly, he addresses crying and what that means for a boy or man. Raised to show no emotion besides anger, Shaka identifies how men cry for rappers that die but not for the many lives of family members being taken or important events that took place. Though his mom shamed him for crying as a boy, Shake now cries when he feels like it as a man. He embraces hugs that bring the comfort every little Black boy needs. Though I wish Shaka had more to say to Jay, his honesty and emotions are needed for the sons of society.

[Kelly_Hunsaker_reads ... · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shaka Senghor is a memoirist and novelist, professor and business owner, as well as a father to two sons. He is also a man who spent almost twenty years in prison (seven of them in solitary confinement) after killing a man when he was only nineteen. And this book is tangible evidence of his love for his own sons as well as all of the young African American men in our country. It is obvious that he loves these children, and wants to both mentor and guide them, as well as provide insight into his own mistakes.

But the book also serves as warning to all of us. It is about lessons we have learned and still need to learn. It is about culture, racism, sensitivity, hope, and so much more. It felt like a combination of an open and honest memoir, an impactful and challenging antiracist nonfiction book, and heartfelt, loving letters.

Senghor shares his own history with unflinching honesty. He does not sugarcoat the difficulties he faced, nor does he try to excuse his own flaws. He tells about the crime he committed with an openness that I deeply admired. I never felt that he wished to shift the blame. And when he talks about his time in prison, he continues to be clear and exposes himself with frankness. Senghor shares that he lost his humanity and hope while in prison, and that it was the support of other inmates that helped him find it again. He shares about the things that helped him, like reading, journalling and meditation.

But for me the most beautiful moments were those that were directed to his sons, and especially to the son whose childhood he missed because of his prison sentence. The words he wrote to his boys were rich in love, respect and candor. He entrusted them (and me as the reader) with his deepest thoughts allowing all of us to see the beauty in his heart.

[Awallens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Run, don't walk to get this book and read it. The writing was gorgeous, sometimes I just had to stop and reread passages. I found myself yelling yes, tons of times especially the chapters about crying and the need for young black men to cry. This book is extraordinary!

[Genevieve Atkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author was so incredibly vulnerable and authentic to who he is as an individual that it’s impossible to not value this book. His story was complex and his letters are ones that everyone can find truth/meaning in.

[Jeanette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an early copy of this book from Goodreads with the promise to review.

This is the Senghor's second book and I've read them both. The first one really opened my eyes to the damage our prison system does. This book was just as engaging, but in a totally different way. Here we see a man reflecting on his life as a whole thus far, sharing stories with his children so that they, hopefully, can learn from him and not have to endure the pain he found starting at an early age. Not only that, he is sharing his experiences with everyone, so that all men (and women) can learn and change and help change the world. Shaka Senghor is an inspiring individual in many ways. He is changing the world, our country, in positive ways. I hope there are more books from him.

[Adam W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shaka’s letters to his sons are fantastic and deeply moving.

[Shana · Rating 4 out of 5]

***Thanks to NetGalley for this ARC in exchange for my honest review***

Deeply honest, vulnerable, and wise, Shaka Senghor shares letters written to his sons that also help the reader understand where he came from and where he is headed with his ideals. There are some gorgeously written passages in here, as well as some that are painful to read because of the content. I can't imagine the level of self-acceptance one would have to feel in order to bare so much of the soul for all to read. Lucky for us, Senghor's wisdom is available not just to his sons, but to all of us.

[Sirena Bebee · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a different read for me. I signed up for the ARC in the hopes to broaden my view of the world. I knew nothing of Shaka Senghor and his experiences before starting his letters.

I enjoyed this. These were not letters written to me or for me, but I could feel what Shaka was trying to convey to his sons through this writing. I think all parents should write letters to their children in the hopes of them better understanding their lives and the lives around us.

I received a copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for a free and honest review.

[Jana · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Received as ARC) This is a must read for everyone. There were times I had eye opening moments and other times I had to stop reading and reflect. As a 56 year old white woman, with a bi-racial son-in-law and 2 bi-racial grandsons, I thought I was understanding of what situations they encounter as we discuss what they encounter due to the color of their skin. Thanks to this book I now realize there is so much more that we as a country need to understand when it comes to racism.

[Kiara Lazhae · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into this already knowing a little bit about Shaka Senghor through Ebony Roberts and her book "The Love Prison Made and Unmade" which I read in 2021 so as soon as I saw this book, I was instantly intrigued. Reading the introduction, I felt extremely moved. I think there's nothing more beautiful than fathers showing unconditional and unwavering love to their sons and daughters being that there is so much of that missing from the Black Community. The fact that he's writing letters just gives it an extra special touch because as Shaka stated " I believe that letters are one of the most intimate forms of communication. They give us an insight into the most frightening, uncertain places and can serve as an introduction to what it means to be passionate, to love, to dream, to settle differences."

The letters that follow the introduction took me for a ride. Some had me switching emotions every 2 or 3 pages like A Trip To The Gas Station. While reading pages 11-16, I felt three things: first shock, then sadness, and finally relief. Others were saturated with love and sweetness like Love is Unconditional and Joy Day and quite a few broke me inside like Isolation, Addiction, and Love is Never Abuse. It's never easy to hear, see, read, or listen to stories of trauma and pain especially when it's coming from my people but the stories are important nonetheless and I admire Shaka's bravery for sharing so much of his.

The main thing not making this a 5 star for me is that I wanted more letters for Jay. While I know he's experienced a good bit of adulthood and he and Shaka could have discussed a lot already, I guess I just wanted to see that shown on the pages more. I would highly recommend this book to all my Black Kings- Queens as well.

[Don Mitchell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written, thoughtful, vulnerable, autobiographical, but not a perfect book. I boosted it to 5* because it is better than 4 and deserves more attention.

The author is great at putting the reader into the author's life situations and creating empathy. The author clearly communicates societal injustices against black men in police interactions, lack of role models, incarceration, lack of access to opportunity, etc. He does so in a constructive and coaching manner rather than in an impotent and blaming manner. His intellect and empathy show through continuously. He clearly demonstrates that he is a role model and a problem solver.

imo, the weaknesses of this book are a little too many autobiographical hardship stories rather than focus on his sons to whom he's writing, a bit aloof with regard to the son Jay although he confesses his confusion at how to address his son, and that the contrivance of this being letters to his sons seems either to invite voyeurism or to be just a contrivance for publishing his ideas.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of "Letters to the Sons of Society: A Father's Invitation to Love, Honesty and Freedom" Shaka has two sons Jay who was born when Shaka was in Jail at 19. Shaka Senghor was in jail for 19 years. When he was released he had another son, Sekou. He writes letters to his sons about what he has learned in life and what he wants to teach his sons about navigating through life as an African american male. This is also for others read as well. this is Shaka Senghor's second book he has written. He wrote "Writing My Wrongs" a few years ago. He writes of his own childhood and the hardships he grew up with. His horrible 19 years in jail where he spent many years in isolation. Racism, different freedoms. A good book many can learn from his advice to his sons. Glad I got the chance to read Mr.Senghor's book.

[Ethan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compelling collection of letters written by a father to his sons regarding life.

The author had grown up in the Detroit area and was in jail for many years. He was able to become very successful in life afterwards and continues to live and work as an advocate for people in similar circumstances. He had one son just before his prison experience and had another afterwards.

These letters are often raw and quite engaging, in which the author explains himself and his predicaments, how he persevered, the challenges he experienced throughout as a Black man, but also the hope and strength which sustained him, and which he wanted to see developed in his sons.

Very powerful and compelling and worthy of consideration.

**--galley received as part of early review program

[Barb · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to describe this book? I can not even tell you how I became aware of this book but from the minute I read what the subject was and the author I knew I had to read this book. And wow, what a courageous and well written work it is.
Shaka is very gifted in his ability to create the world in which he lived, which creates many emotions. The experiences Shaka had and where he is now should give each of us hope and motivation to make our world a better, more fair, equitable and loving one.
Thank you for writing your story. It deeply touched me and will touch anyone who takes the authors hand and ventures into his story.

[Shannan Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you've read the author's first book, then you already know his life's story. In this one, he pens letters to both of his sons about life, some of the things he's experienced and some of the things they might experience growing up in this country as young black men. This was such a powerful and eye opening read that provides a variety of life lessons, especially for the black youth of today.

I received a copy of the book from NetGalley and am voluntarily leaving an honest review of my own thoughts and opinions.

[Vlbayman]

To be honest, I did not finish this book. But I consider that to be my fault, not the author's. It was well written. I think I'm just over the "letter(s) to my kid(s)" format. I did learn enough about Shaka Senghor's background to decide I'd rather read his previous book, Writing My Wrongs. I'd still recommend you give this book a shot if it sounds interesting to you.

Thank you to Convergent Books and Goodreads for sending me this book as a Goodreads Giveaway.

[Bridgette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Letters to the Sons of Society is an excellent, inspiring read. These letters are written for the author's sons - one who he is raising and one who grew up while the author was incarcerated. this book is moving, it's raw and it's full of love and guidance that will move fathers and mothers alike. A must read! Highly recommend.

[mikayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

very sweet. it warms my heart for fathers to be openly affectionate towards their children— and i think it’s very beneficial for parents to acknowledge their shortcomings too.

reminds me of of the quote: “i want readers to reconsider the capacity of our fathers hearts. many of them were handed so little, yet we expect so much.” (boys don’t cry)

[Jerrid Kruse · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many of these stories and life-lessons resonates with me and the need to actively undo the damage of our patriarchal society. These letters can inform parents across a wide spectrum or lived experiences.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

SO good! At the same time horrifying yet inspirational. Both an account of how broken and racist American systems are from a movingly human place and also beautifully written pep talks for getting through the worst and holding hope and self worth

[Tatiana Nicholls · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unas cartas con mensajes de esperanza desde el punto de vista de alguien que ha surgido q pesar de todas las adversidades. Cartas a sus dos hijos, que podrían ser cartas para todos los hijos de esta sociedad.

[Imani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Didn’t expect to feel so moved by it and cry while reading but it truly did leave me feeling a stronger desire to connect with the men in my life more intentional. “Sometimes I just need a God with skin. “

[Lindsey Horvatich · Rating 5 out of 5]

This, in addition to his first book, should be required human reading. I’ve been working with incarcerated adults for 10 years now and no one speaks to the experience and the change that is needed like Shaka does. I am so thankful for his writing.

[Victoria · Rating 3 out of 5]

In prison at 19, spending many years in solitary Senghor talks about how he survived, how he changed is life and has hopes for changing the lives of black youth everywhere by sharing his stories (poverty, escaping abuse, drugs, reentering society).

[Ed Jeanfreau · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like it more than I did.
I was introduced to Mr Senghor on Joe Rogan. I liked his interview, but his writing is angry.
While he does take responsibility, there are many excuses laid out for the murder he committed.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting read

[Felipe Herrera · Rating 4 out of 5]

Probably a must read to get a sense of Black perspective. Deep and truthful. Thanks for sharing!

[Kathrine Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written, lovely book.