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Sister Funtime
“Welcome to hell, Sister.”
Sister Mary Matthew arrives on the steps of St. Teresa’s Joyous Youths Orphanage determined to be the children’s favorite nun. But she can’t seem to win over the head of the orphanage: stern, withered Sister Agatha Eustace, whom everyone secretly calls Sister Killjoy.
Mary tries to rise to the challenge, but things at St. Teresa’s feel . . . off. A mysterious benefactor. Sick children denied medicine. A crowded cemetery. Strange noises from the basement. Cruel punishments. Terrifying dreams.
Worst of all, her prayers remain unanswered. She feels as if God has abandoned her and everyone at St. Teresa’s. Until, one full-mooned night, a voice calls to her. A voice that claims to know her heart’s desire.
Before there was Smileyland, before Mister Smiley, there was a decrepit orphanage run by an evil nun and full of children who chanted:
“Sister Funtime, Sister Funtime, Sister Funtime!”
From the author of Welcome to Smileyland and The Fear comes the new religious horror novella, the latest entry in the Smileyverse. Come on in—and don’t forget to say your prayers.
Sister Mary Matthew arrives on the steps of St. Teresa’s Joyous Youths Orphanage determined to be the children’s favorite nun. But she can’t seem to win over the head of the orphanage: stern, withered Sister Agatha Eustace, whom everyone secretly calls Sister Killjoy.
Mary tries to rise to the challenge, but things at St. Teresa’s feel . . . off. A mysterious benefactor. Sick children denied medicine. A crowded cemetery. Strange noises from the basement. Cruel punishments. Terrifying dreams.
Worst of all, her prayers remain unanswered. She feels as if God has abandoned her and everyone at St. Teresa’s. Until, one full-mooned night, a voice calls to her. A voice that claims to know her heart’s desire.
Before there was Smileyland, before Mister Smiley, there was a decrepit orphanage run by an evil nun and full of children who chanted:
“Sister Funtime, Sister Funtime, Sister Funtime!”
From the author of Welcome to Smileyland and The Fear comes the new religious horror novella, the latest entry in the Smileyverse. Come on in—and don’t forget to say your prayers.
132 pages, Paperback
Published December 1, 2021
2 people are currently reading
283 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
July 20, 2022
"She scrawled on the blackboard as the flames grew around her, Welcome to HELL, then danced back outside."
Welcome, welcome, welcome, Sister Funtime!
I absolutely love when bizarre horror books have Nuns in them. There is something so menacing about them that really makes my skin crawl. I mean, it can't be because my knuckles still hurt from that ruler. Or could it? Nah! Not at all...
This was a twisted little gory tale of what happened before Smileyland took over and scared the world with its smile. The story moved quickly with its intensity. Before you knew it you were running around in your underwear in the front yard while covered in gasoline. It was a really great story. Can't wait to read more by this author.
Beware of the crucifix with the sapphire eyes.
Welcome, welcome, welcome, Sister Funtime!
I absolutely love when bizarre horror books have Nuns in them. There is something so menacing about them that really makes my skin crawl. I mean, it can't be because my knuckles still hurt from that ruler. Or could it? Nah! Not at all...
This was a twisted little gory tale of what happened before Smileyland took over and scared the world with its smile. The story moved quickly with its intensity. Before you knew it you were running around in your underwear in the front yard while covered in gasoline. It was a really great story. Can't wait to read more by this author.
Beware of the crucifix with the sapphire eyes.
June 10, 2022
I didn’t realize this was a book that was part of the ‘smileyverse’ when I picked it up, there were references to it in the book, but I definitely don’t feel I missed anything, or was lost. This was a standalone, but connected to the other book. Welcome To Smiley Land will definitely have to be the next read! I really enjoyed the beginning and end where it was a group of kids telling a ghost story, but wasn’t cheesy or gimmicky as a lot of those stories can tend to be. Once the Sister Funtime portion of the story started you were in that world living in her timeline. Because this was a book in a universe being built by the author the way he tied in the previous book (which will probably make even more sense once I read it 😂) and the insinuations, and loose ties that were promised to be answered in future books made me even more excited to keep with the Smileyverse. The author is really talented and creative and the shorter book didn’t feel short especially knowing the story is not yet finished.
March 21, 2024
I’ve been a fan of Spencer Hamilton’s work even since reading his novel The Fear last year so when I heard we was dropping a new novella, only three days before it was due to drop, I immediately ordered it on Amazon.
One of the best decisions of my reading year as Sister Funtime became one of my favourite stories of 2021. I was very fortunate to be a co-editor on anthology called Welcome to the Funhouse that Spencer submitted to. That story was my favourite thing he had ever written, a story with a Stephen King vibe that would have comfortable sat on that authors best collection Night Shift. No longer. Sister Funtime is my favourite work by Spencer, it is uniquely different to anything he’s released before. The story reminded me of Sarah Read’s brilliant novel The Bone Weaver’s Orchard in its gothic writing style. It also, and I say this without putting down Spencer’s other work, which is all fantastic, has a sense of maturity about it. On reading this story I felt like Spencer punched through that glass ceiling and is writing on a whole other level. It’s an awe-inspiring read.
One of the best decisions of my reading year as Sister Funtime became one of my favourite stories of 2021. I was very fortunate to be a co-editor on anthology called Welcome to the Funhouse that Spencer submitted to. That story was my favourite thing he had ever written, a story with a Stephen King vibe that would have comfortable sat on that authors best collection Night Shift. No longer. Sister Funtime is my favourite work by Spencer, it is uniquely different to anything he’s released before. The story reminded me of Sarah Read’s brilliant novel The Bone Weaver’s Orchard in its gothic writing style. It also, and I say this without putting down Spencer’s other work, which is all fantastic, has a sense of maturity about it. On reading this story I felt like Spencer punched through that glass ceiling and is writing on a whole other level. It’s an awe-inspiring read.
December 1, 2021
“Death is still an answer, is it not?”
We all love a good slasher, a good
haunting, a good exorcism, but what’s also to love is a good origin story. 😈 Smileyland is the home of fun, treats, and memories as long as you remember to NEVER STOP SMILING. But how did our rollercoaster theme park from Hell begin? Why, as a nunnery, in fact. A pretty fucked up one.
As a student of all things morality, this novella showcases the grey line between right and wrong. Do the means justify the end if those means turn you into a monster in the process? Full of symbolism and pious atrocities, Sister Funtime is the religious horror masterpiece of the year. I found myself desperately turning pages to read the resolution and shivering under my covers by the end… literally. If you’re a fan of Saint Maud, Hamilton executes the perfect parallel to righteousness’s downfall. And the Smileyverse just keeps growing. I can’t wait to see what’s more to come in this terrifying thematic creation. 😈🎢🔥
We all love a good slasher, a good
haunting, a good exorcism, but what’s also to love is a good origin story. 😈 Smileyland is the home of fun, treats, and memories as long as you remember to NEVER STOP SMILING. But how did our rollercoaster theme park from Hell begin? Why, as a nunnery, in fact. A pretty fucked up one.
As a student of all things morality, this novella showcases the grey line between right and wrong. Do the means justify the end if those means turn you into a monster in the process? Full of symbolism and pious atrocities, Sister Funtime is the religious horror masterpiece of the year. I found myself desperately turning pages to read the resolution and shivering under my covers by the end… literally. If you’re a fan of Saint Maud, Hamilton executes the perfect parallel to righteousness’s downfall. And the Smileyverse just keeps growing. I can’t wait to see what’s more to come in this terrifying thematic creation. 😈🎢🔥
August 3, 2025
Every twisted theme park needs an origin story, and Smileyland’s is deliciously deranged. Before the cotton candy and creepy mascot, there was an orphanage. And inside that orphanage, there was Sister Eustice—better known as Sister Killjoy. She ran the place with the kind of grim devotion that makes you wonder if the rosary beads were for prayer or restraint.
Inside these pages: a nun who refuses to be bullied, a possessed crucifix, and something breathing in the dark corner of the basement that she's instructed never to enter. It’s creepy, it’s corny, and it’s exactly the kind of horror-camp cocktail I want more of.
Spencer Hamilton is building a universe where the grotesque and the goofy hold hands—and I’m already in line for the next ride.
Inside these pages: a nun who refuses to be bullied, a possessed crucifix, and something breathing in the dark corner of the basement that she's instructed never to enter. It’s creepy, it’s corny, and it’s exactly the kind of horror-camp cocktail I want more of.
Spencer Hamilton is building a universe where the grotesque and the goofy hold hands—and I’m already in line for the next ride.
May 31, 2022
Welcome to Smileyland… again!
Spencer Hamilton has been a naughty boy, he's been feeding us with snippets of Smileyland stories... His first one was 'Welcome to Smileyland' about a group of young people entering an abandoned amusement park, somewhere in the eighties, and turning that visit into a real bloodbath, a real slasher fest! But that story lacked an origin for the evil roaming the park.
This book also starts with a group breaking in on the grounds of the amusement park, in 1988 this time (so before 'Welcome to Smileyland') and when all of these kids start telling ghost stories, there is one that needs to be told about Smileyland:
So next comes 'Sister Funtime', a story situated in the 1920's, in an orphanage on the same premises where now that abandoned park lies. In this story we get to know sister Mary Matthew, listening to her calling to become the protector and carer of the children of the orphanage. But she is hindered by the ever serious and very bitchy Sister Eustace, better known by the children as Sister Killjoy!
Sister Mary does not let herself be bullied by the older sister, and together with Sister Ines she tries to give the children a fun stay at the orphanage, giving her the moniker Sister Funtime.
But against Sister Killjoy's advise Mary goes to the basement of the orphanage, to find a crucifix down there that leads her to temptation and starts events beyond anyone's control, leading up to a fearful climax!
Again we are bedazzled by Spencer's writing skills and his talent for showing us around in a tormented place, we all know will become a root for evil. Well, become might be the wrong word, as it seems the evil already found a place there, it only needed a way out into the world. And that's what Sister Mary unwillingly did. But who is that benefactor, Mr. James? And what made those noises in the basement? What happened to the children and when was Smileyland built on those grounds?
Those questions are still left for us and Spencer has a few more stories in Smileyland for us, I'm sure! (I hope!)
Sister Funtime is a truly horrifying story about temptation, about evil and even comments on child abuse in the catholic church.
Don't go wandering the orphanage, don't touch anything that whispers to you and make sure all curtains are closed because: too much sunshine leads to sin! Get on your knees and start praying that you're not next on Evil's Victims List!
Spencer Hamilton has been a naughty boy, he's been feeding us with snippets of Smileyland stories... His first one was 'Welcome to Smileyland' about a group of young people entering an abandoned amusement park, somewhere in the eighties, and turning that visit into a real bloodbath, a real slasher fest! But that story lacked an origin for the evil roaming the park.
This book also starts with a group breaking in on the grounds of the amusement park, in 1988 this time (so before 'Welcome to Smileyland') and when all of these kids start telling ghost stories, there is one that needs to be told about Smileyland:
So next comes 'Sister Funtime', a story situated in the 1920's, in an orphanage on the same premises where now that abandoned park lies. In this story we get to know sister Mary Matthew, listening to her calling to become the protector and carer of the children of the orphanage. But she is hindered by the ever serious and very bitchy Sister Eustace, better known by the children as Sister Killjoy!
Sister Mary does not let herself be bullied by the older sister, and together with Sister Ines she tries to give the children a fun stay at the orphanage, giving her the moniker Sister Funtime.
But against Sister Killjoy's advise Mary goes to the basement of the orphanage, to find a crucifix down there that leads her to temptation and starts events beyond anyone's control, leading up to a fearful climax!
Again we are bedazzled by Spencer's writing skills and his talent for showing us around in a tormented place, we all know will become a root for evil. Well, become might be the wrong word, as it seems the evil already found a place there, it only needed a way out into the world. And that's what Sister Mary unwillingly did. But who is that benefactor, Mr. James? And what made those noises in the basement? What happened to the children and when was Smileyland built on those grounds?
Those questions are still left for us and Spencer has a few more stories in Smileyland for us, I'm sure! (I hope!)
Sister Funtime is a truly horrifying story about temptation, about evil and even comments on child abuse in the catholic church.
Don't go wandering the orphanage, don't touch anything that whispers to you and make sure all curtains are closed because: too much sunshine leads to sin! Get on your knees and start praying that you're not next on Evil's Victims List!
December 5, 2022
**Review originally published in SCREAM Magazine**
Sister Mary believes she has found the perfect job when she comes to work at St. Teresa’s Joyous Youths Orphanage. She loves her work and the children, who have affectionately nicknamed her Sister Funtime. Though the headmistress is unreasonably rigid, earning her the whispered title of Sister Killjoy, Mary isn’t going to let that stifle her happy labor. But then, an alarming incident prompts Mary to examine her surroundings more closely, and she begins to unravel one horrifying secret after another. What was once a dream job quickly becomes a realm of nightmares.
Sister Funtime packs a lot into what was a fairly quick read. I enjoyed the mystery aspect as well as the supernatural elements, and it took many twists and turns that I did not expect. Indeed, it became clear early on that this was a book that would defy easy explanation, so I just released the reins and enjoyed the ride. I wouldn’t exactly call this a violent story, but there were more than a few moments of shocking brutality that had me wincing as I read.
Following Sister Mary’s descent from exuberant innocence to maniacal madness is an unsettling and fascinating experience. She’s someone you’re rooting for, but you also worry about her fragile mental state and what she’s slowly becoming. The transformative process she undergoes through the story is incredibly disturbing, but you can’t look away. You just wish she would see the crucifix she believes harbors God for what it really is; that its smile is too wide, that the glint in its eye is unnatural, that the tasks it demands and penance it requires are a far cry from holy.
Author Spencer Hamilton has crafted an intriguing tale of religious horror that works as both a standalone novella and an entry into his burgeoning Smilyland mythos. A playful linguistic style, a captivating, conflicted protagonist, and an enjoyable balance of supernatural, psychological, and body horror all make this an easy must-read recommendation. So come on in, smile wide, and don’t forget to say your prayers!
Sister Mary believes she has found the perfect job when she comes to work at St. Teresa’s Joyous Youths Orphanage. She loves her work and the children, who have affectionately nicknamed her Sister Funtime. Though the headmistress is unreasonably rigid, earning her the whispered title of Sister Killjoy, Mary isn’t going to let that stifle her happy labor. But then, an alarming incident prompts Mary to examine her surroundings more closely, and she begins to unravel one horrifying secret after another. What was once a dream job quickly becomes a realm of nightmares.
Sister Funtime packs a lot into what was a fairly quick read. I enjoyed the mystery aspect as well as the supernatural elements, and it took many twists and turns that I did not expect. Indeed, it became clear early on that this was a book that would defy easy explanation, so I just released the reins and enjoyed the ride. I wouldn’t exactly call this a violent story, but there were more than a few moments of shocking brutality that had me wincing as I read.
Following Sister Mary’s descent from exuberant innocence to maniacal madness is an unsettling and fascinating experience. She’s someone you’re rooting for, but you also worry about her fragile mental state and what she’s slowly becoming. The transformative process she undergoes through the story is incredibly disturbing, but you can’t look away. You just wish she would see the crucifix she believes harbors God for what it really is; that its smile is too wide, that the glint in its eye is unnatural, that the tasks it demands and penance it requires are a far cry from holy.
Author Spencer Hamilton has crafted an intriguing tale of religious horror that works as both a standalone novella and an entry into his burgeoning Smilyland mythos. A playful linguistic style, a captivating, conflicted protagonist, and an enjoyable balance of supernatural, psychological, and body horror all make this an easy must-read recommendation. So come on in, smile wide, and don’t forget to say your prayers!
December 1, 2021
Holy hell can I just say that I am all in for all things Smiley-verse?! The first thing that needs to be mentioned is that this is a vastly different story than the other Smileyland stories that I've read. This one hits a very different beat in the absolute best way.
We have seen what happened on the site of Smileyland after the demise of the amusement park, now find out what happened before it even existed.
Dory, AKA Sister Mary Matthew has a crisis of faith that culminates in horrific ways at St. Teresa's Joyous Youths Orphanage. Nothing is as it seems on the surface and I was compelled to keep reading until the very end.
I loved the religious aspect of this story where you find yourself unsure of who the true villain is but let's face it, do we really expect a hero to emerge in the world of Smileyland??
If you're a sucker for creepy orphanages as a setting like I am or religious horror this will definitely be a hit for you. It's also a great addition to the Smiley-verse. Conjuring universe who? Haven't heard of it.
We have seen what happened on the site of Smileyland after the demise of the amusement park, now find out what happened before it even existed.
Dory, AKA Sister Mary Matthew has a crisis of faith that culminates in horrific ways at St. Teresa's Joyous Youths Orphanage. Nothing is as it seems on the surface and I was compelled to keep reading until the very end.
I loved the religious aspect of this story where you find yourself unsure of who the true villain is but let's face it, do we really expect a hero to emerge in the world of Smileyland??
If you're a sucker for creepy orphanages as a setting like I am or religious horror this will definitely be a hit for you. It's also a great addition to the Smiley-verse. Conjuring universe who? Haven't heard of it.
July 22, 2022
"Anyone heard the stories about this place?"
.
Spoilers / Review for Sister Funtime (Sister Funtime, Sister Funtime)
.
Opening on Halloween night, 1988, Brad, Cam, Amy and Jess (like many others) have taken a trip to the abandoned theme park, Smileyland. Brad tries to tell them about Mr Smiley but fumbles it. Jess takes over and tells a tale about am orphanage which predates Smileyland. If Dorothea Annabeth Chesterton aka Sister Funtime and nuns. But how does it connect to Smileyland?...
.
Back in June, @theindiehorrorbookclub (that's me btw. Please do join us) read this for Pride Month. I do so enjoy the Smileyland world and this one seemed to be adding another layer. I was definitely curious to see what Spencer's cunning plan was here
.
A very quick paced story but also a very good one. The intro has that familiar feel to it to me, having been to Smileyland 3 or 4 (I've lost count but I'm pretty sure it's around that number) times before through out the years. It's a good idea to explore what history Smileyland was before. The duality of Sister Funtime (Dorothea) aka Sister Mary Matthew and Sister Killjoy (Agatha Eustace), the strict head of the orphanage works well as a double act. It builds the story nicely. But. Part of me can't help but feel it was a bit quick in some areas. I feel like a slower pace and more exploration of areas might have worked. There's a nice amount of world building nonetheless and it's another hit for Spencer all in all
.
Overall 4.5/5 👰
Have you read Sister Funtime or any of the Smileyland-verse/ Smileyverse stories? What did you think of them?
.
Spoilers / Review for Sister Funtime (Sister Funtime, Sister Funtime)
.
Opening on Halloween night, 1988, Brad, Cam, Amy and Jess (like many others) have taken a trip to the abandoned theme park, Smileyland. Brad tries to tell them about Mr Smiley but fumbles it. Jess takes over and tells a tale about am orphanage which predates Smileyland. If Dorothea Annabeth Chesterton aka Sister Funtime and nuns. But how does it connect to Smileyland?...
.
Back in June, @theindiehorrorbookclub (that's me btw. Please do join us) read this for Pride Month. I do so enjoy the Smileyland world and this one seemed to be adding another layer. I was definitely curious to see what Spencer's cunning plan was here
.
A very quick paced story but also a very good one. The intro has that familiar feel to it to me, having been to Smileyland 3 or 4 (I've lost count but I'm pretty sure it's around that number) times before through out the years. It's a good idea to explore what history Smileyland was before. The duality of Sister Funtime (Dorothea) aka Sister Mary Matthew and Sister Killjoy (Agatha Eustace), the strict head of the orphanage works well as a double act. It builds the story nicely. But. Part of me can't help but feel it was a bit quick in some areas. I feel like a slower pace and more exploration of areas might have worked. There's a nice amount of world building nonetheless and it's another hit for Spencer all in all
.
Overall 4.5/5 👰
Have you read Sister Funtime or any of the Smileyland-verse/ Smileyverse stories? What did you think of them?
December 4, 2021
Before there was Smileyland, there was St. Teresa’s Joyous Youths Orphanage. What should have been a venture to help parentless children find good homes turns out to be anything but, as Sister Mary Matthew soon finds out. When she starts to dig into the history of her new station, she quickly uncovers the secrets of its dark, sordid past.
What a powerful religious horror novella this is. While the premise is of course fictional, it feels dangerously real. The vignettes Hamilton paints of the orphanage perfectly depict the despair that the innocent children surely feel at being confined and under the cruel rule of Sister Killjoy.
The pain conveyed in this story is palpable, as is the anger and confusion and sense of broken ideals at one's shattered belief system. Hamilton takes great patience and care in how he builds and then deconstructs this origin story, using the blood and the bones left in the rubble as the foundation for what is to come.
A truly unsettling and excellent read, and a brilliant prologue to the Smileyland saga.
What a powerful religious horror novella this is. While the premise is of course fictional, it feels dangerously real. The vignettes Hamilton paints of the orphanage perfectly depict the despair that the innocent children surely feel at being confined and under the cruel rule of Sister Killjoy.
The pain conveyed in this story is palpable, as is the anger and confusion and sense of broken ideals at one's shattered belief system. Hamilton takes great patience and care in how he builds and then deconstructs this origin story, using the blood and the bones left in the rubble as the foundation for what is to come.
A truly unsettling and excellent read, and a brilliant prologue to the Smileyland saga.
June 11, 2022
Sister Funtime is about how it all started (or at least how we think it all started) and Spencer's imagination is just outstanding. I'm so happy for the direction he went with because that makes the Smileyland universe so freaking diverse and unique.
This time we get to visit an orphanage and meet a very young and even more naive nun who thinks caring for children will fill her with joy and happiness. But instead she finds sadness, pain and madness.
And jeez, did some of the moments turn my stomach upside down.. And did some other ones make me go like wtf is going on in here 😅
And in case you're wondering why I'm displaying lgbtq flag in a desperate need of ironing, I just want to say it very much belongs to this pic. Now is the time you gasp and say "how dares he!"
This time we get to visit an orphanage and meet a very young and even more naive nun who thinks caring for children will fill her with joy and happiness. But instead she finds sadness, pain and madness.
And jeez, did some of the moments turn my stomach upside down.. And did some other ones make me go like wtf is going on in here 😅
And in case you're wondering why I'm displaying lgbtq flag in a desperate need of ironing, I just want to say it very much belongs to this pic. Now is the time you gasp and say "how dares he!"
December 9, 2021
This is a really fun follow up to Welcome to Smileyland which again was a classic 90's horror. I enjoyed that but this was a really good prequel of sorts as you jump back in time before Smileyland was built. It was really well written and you have really great characters you care about and absolutely hate. You really get invested in such a short story. I'll be looking forward to more of this Smileyland world.
August 19, 2022
Religious horror.
December 3, 2021
“Quiet. You’ll wake the monster.”
SISTER FUNTIME: A Smileyland Story
Spencer Hamilton
Nerdy Wordsmith
Released December 1, 2021
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Sister Funtime is a joyride on a runaway rollercoaster. It begins with a young woman, Dory Chesterton, that has given herself to God and transforming to Sister Mary Matthew, she travels to an orphange funded by a rich benifactor and find a dingy mansion full of children including a sick babe.
Something doesn’t sit right will her and she begins investigating children’s deaths and searching forbidden areas of the estate. What she finds would become life changing.
“One item remained intact, and it lay at her feet among the soggy remnants.
Her eyes widened in delight. It was a smallish but beautiful, ornately carved crucifix. It seemed to shine up at her in the gloom, and there appeared to be sapphires set into Jesus’s eyes and tiny, wine-red rubies inlaid as stigmata.”
Sister Mary Matthew is a little bit of all of us, a seemingly average young woman destroyed by the shackles of religion. [You’re supposed to be writing fiction, Spence] I loved Sister Ines and hope to see more of her in future stories. Sister Funtime was my first adventure into the Smileyverse, but I am super excited to read more.
SISTER FUNTIME: A Smileyland Story
Spencer Hamilton
Nerdy Wordsmith
Released December 1, 2021
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Sister Funtime is a joyride on a runaway rollercoaster. It begins with a young woman, Dory Chesterton, that has given herself to God and transforming to Sister Mary Matthew, she travels to an orphange funded by a rich benifactor and find a dingy mansion full of children including a sick babe.
Something doesn’t sit right will her and she begins investigating children’s deaths and searching forbidden areas of the estate. What she finds would become life changing.
“One item remained intact, and it lay at her feet among the soggy remnants.
Her eyes widened in delight. It was a smallish but beautiful, ornately carved crucifix. It seemed to shine up at her in the gloom, and there appeared to be sapphires set into Jesus’s eyes and tiny, wine-red rubies inlaid as stigmata.”
Sister Mary Matthew is a little bit of all of us, a seemingly average young woman destroyed by the shackles of religion. [You’re supposed to be writing fiction, Spence] I loved Sister Ines and hope to see more of her in future stories. Sister Funtime was my first adventure into the Smileyverse, but I am super excited to read more.
December 3, 2021
✝️Spoiler Free Novella Review✝️
•
Welcome to St. Teresa’s Youths Orphanage…don’t forget to say your prayers and to smile🙂
•
Sister Mary Matthew is ready to do the lord’s work. She’s shed her old identity & come to St. Teresa’s full of faith, optimism & an enthusiastic love for children. But the longer she stays, the more she realizes something is wrong with this place. There’s the sinfully strict Agatha Eustace AKA Sister Killjoy & a mysterious benefactor whose visits strike fear into the hearts of the children. Even the loving chants of, “Sister Funtime, Sister Funtime” can’t distract Mary from investigating the too crowded cemetery & forbidden basement. What she discovers lead to a harrowing fight for her faith, her sanity & her life.
•
The dive into religious fervor, the descriptive body horror & the world building is top notch writing. I especially appreciated the in-depth look into Mary’s interpretation of faith & sacrifice alongside her descent into madness. This is my favorite installment of the Smileyland universe & imo, Spencer’s best writing to date.
ALL THE STARS ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
•
Welcome to St. Teresa’s Youths Orphanage…don’t forget to say your prayers and to smile🙂
•
Sister Mary Matthew is ready to do the lord’s work. She’s shed her old identity & come to St. Teresa’s full of faith, optimism & an enthusiastic love for children. But the longer she stays, the more she realizes something is wrong with this place. There’s the sinfully strict Agatha Eustace AKA Sister Killjoy & a mysterious benefactor whose visits strike fear into the hearts of the children. Even the loving chants of, “Sister Funtime, Sister Funtime” can’t distract Mary from investigating the too crowded cemetery & forbidden basement. What she discovers lead to a harrowing fight for her faith, her sanity & her life.
•
The dive into religious fervor, the descriptive body horror & the world building is top notch writing. I especially appreciated the in-depth look into Mary’s interpretation of faith & sacrifice alongside her descent into madness. This is my favorite installment of the Smileyland universe & imo, Spencer’s best writing to date.
ALL THE STARS ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
December 1, 2021
Smileyland has a dark past, and in the 1920s, it’s home to St. Teresa’s Joyous Youth Orphanage. Dorothea Chesterton comes to the orphanage as Sister Mary Matthew to start a new life. The orphanage seems normal, yet stern, but when their benefactor Mr. James shows up, things aren’t as normal as they seem.
Religious horror will always top my favorite subgenres of horror. A lot of us carry religious trauma from growing up, and reading stories like Sister Funtime is a great, healthy way of confronting it. Spencer has woven a fantastic, yet terrifying story filled with evil characters playing nice.
Death is an answer, is it not?
Religious horror will always top my favorite subgenres of horror. A lot of us carry religious trauma from growing up, and reading stories like Sister Funtime is a great, healthy way of confronting it. Spencer has woven a fantastic, yet terrifying story filled with evil characters playing nice.
Death is an answer, is it not?
May 31, 2022
Spencer Hamilton’s Smileyland universe has quickly become must read material for me, and the prequel novel, Sister Funtime, definitely does not disappoint.
Sister Mary Matthew is a young nun, newly arrived at an isolated orphanage where she will be helping care for the children. She quickly falls afoul of the cruel matron, Sister Eustace, but finds friendship with fellow caregiver, Sister Ines, and delight in working with the children. Something’s rotten in the orphanage though, something to do with its mysterious benefactor, eerie sounds in the basement, and a graveyard full of children out back.
I love a good creepy nun story almost as much as I love a creepy theme park story, so I devoured Sister Funtime. Hamilton is as excellent at building suspense as he is at delivering shocks and twisty turns. I can’t wait for more Smileyland books!
Sister Mary Matthew is a young nun, newly arrived at an isolated orphanage where she will be helping care for the children. She quickly falls afoul of the cruel matron, Sister Eustace, but finds friendship with fellow caregiver, Sister Ines, and delight in working with the children. Something’s rotten in the orphanage though, something to do with its mysterious benefactor, eerie sounds in the basement, and a graveyard full of children out back.
I love a good creepy nun story almost as much as I love a creepy theme park story, so I devoured Sister Funtime. Hamilton is as excellent at building suspense as he is at delivering shocks and twisty turns. I can’t wait for more Smileyland books!
June 23, 2022
Sister Funtime was a super fun, fast, freaking excellent read! I am struggling to remember who I saw recommend it, but I ended up on Spencer's instagram feed at just the right time, snagged a copy, and flew through it in a couple of brief sessions. Definitely worth taking a break from East of Eden for something more edgy.
So here's my takeaway: Read it because you need to scratch that evil Catholic itch that's been festering under your habit; read it because you love a well-written character study full of metaphorical and physical self-harm; read it because you crave craven scenes full of gore that literally make you gag. This one practically reads like a teleplay! You can see it all vividly on the screen in your head! (It's everything I wanted Midnight Mass to be but wasn't.)
I'm chuffed that there are others already in this collection waiting for me!
So here's my takeaway: Read it because you need to scratch that evil Catholic itch that's been festering under your habit; read it because you love a well-written character study full of metaphorical and physical self-harm; read it because you crave craven scenes full of gore that literally make you gag. This one practically reads like a teleplay! You can see it all vividly on the screen in your head! (It's everything I wanted Midnight Mass to be but wasn't.)
I'm chuffed that there are others already in this collection waiting for me!
December 14, 2021
Master, I am yours...I am your agent, in the belly of the beast...
Hamilton knows dread. He infuses that dread into the foundation of an orphanage that carries a stain of ill repute, and like fuel for a charnel engine, it serves to bolster the legacy of his Smileyland universe.
There is corruption, malice, and the blood of the innocent mixes freely with the juice from the blackberry bushes. The story is told with sharp & inspired prose, and having only read Hamilton's short fiction prior to this, it was a pleasure to see the author's range within the context of a novella.
This is cerebral horror with memorable characters & visuals that can be described as both vile and alluring in the same breath. It isn't easy to strike that balance, but rest assured, Hamilton came to play 🔪
Hamilton knows dread. He infuses that dread into the foundation of an orphanage that carries a stain of ill repute, and like fuel for a charnel engine, it serves to bolster the legacy of his Smileyland universe.
There is corruption, malice, and the blood of the innocent mixes freely with the juice from the blackberry bushes. The story is told with sharp & inspired prose, and having only read Hamilton's short fiction prior to this, it was a pleasure to see the author's range within the context of a novella.
This is cerebral horror with memorable characters & visuals that can be described as both vile and alluring in the same breath. It isn't easy to strike that balance, but rest assured, Hamilton came to play 🔪
March 1, 2022
Religious horror is becoming one of my favorite sub-genres of horror. When it's done right, it hits hard, and Sister Funtime is most definitely an example of religious horror done right. This creepy little novella tells an absolutely depraved tale that will leave everyone wondering who the real villain really is.
Though it's short, this is a book that delivers a monumental impact. The pain and terror held by these pages leaks out, and finds a way to burrow under the skin of the reader. On it's surface, this is a story of an old nunnery, of what happened before Smileyland was built. But, if you dig a little deeper, you'll unearth a story of anger, betrayal and a person whose faith is absolutely shattered.
Though it's short, this is a book that delivers a monumental impact. The pain and terror held by these pages leaks out, and finds a way to burrow under the skin of the reader. On it's surface, this is a story of an old nunnery, of what happened before Smileyland was built. But, if you dig a little deeper, you'll unearth a story of anger, betrayal and a person whose faith is absolutely shattered.
January 3, 2022
Holy...freaking...sh*t! I did not expect what I got from this twisted little number! Sister Funtime is a novella written by the awesome Spencer Hamilton and I was lucky enough to get a signed copy of the book so I am fan-girling at this point.
I read this in a day and boy does it take you on a roller-coaster ride to hell and beyond. I don't want to give anything away but let's just say it isn't typical religious horror and just when you think you know where this is going....you find out you really didn't have a clue. I am going to have to check out the other Smileyland universe books because I am hooked!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️5/5
I read this in a day and boy does it take you on a roller-coaster ride to hell and beyond. I don't want to give anything away but let's just say it isn't typical religious horror and just when you think you know where this is going....you find out you really didn't have a clue. I am going to have to check out the other Smileyland universe books because I am hooked!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️5/5
April 26, 2022
A very delightful and frightening read! This was my first Spencer Hamilton book and it did not disappoint at all. Sister Funtime follows the tale of Sister Mary and her journey at St. Teresa's. She loves the children who live at the orphanage, her fellow nun Sister Ines...but she was no fan of the head nun, Sister Agatha Eustace (aka, Sister Killjoy). Sister Mary is presented with many challenges, no thanks to Sister Killjoy...until she makes a discovery in the basement which changes her life. Is it good or bad? You'll have to find out! Hamilton does an incredible job bringing creepy, tense moments from beginning to end and you'll enjoy the fiery end to this story!
December 12, 2021
🎃Gloom Review🎃
“She scoffed bitterly. ‘You are no savior. You are not Jesus Christ of Nazareth. You, like this place, are the devil in disguise.’”
After the release of Midnight Mass, I’ve been pretty vocal about both, my love for religious horror, and my disdain for the fact that so many use the genre tag as a mere bait-and-switch.🙄
Most of the books, movies, or shows that get labeled “religious horror” these days merely throw a cross into the background, include a scene within a church, or have some side character that is obsessed with a specific sacred text.✝️
I am overjoyed to proclaim that the gifted and lamb-like beast Spencer Hamilton, fulfilled his task & finished the race. With his release of “Sister Funtime,” he can now take his crown & sit upon my blessed wall of righteous horror.🙌🏼
For those not able to see through my biblical symbols & similes, let me make it as clear as the sea of glass… Hamilton wrote, what I believe to be, a true religious horror story.👌🏼
In 1971, William Peter Blatty gave birth to the mother of all religious horror novels. If I had to compare “Sister Funtime” with any other story, it would be “The Exorcist.”🤩
Hamilton’s prose is immaculate. His novella is honest and brutal. Whether you consider yourself to be a sinner or a saint, do yourself a favor and grab a copy of this book.👻
People are extremely complicated creatures and religion can often complicate things further, for better or for worse. Because of his firsthand experience, and more recent willingness to continue studying from afar, Spencer Hamilton crafted a horrifying snapshot of just how dangerous Christianity can become when under the control of humans with malevolent motives.💀
I expect great things to come from the pen of indie horror’s Nerdy Wordsmith, but even if he stops writing today (don’t you dare, Spencer), we’ll at least be left with this expertly crafted sacrifice.🤓
⭐️5/5⭐️
Now, let us pray.🙏🏼
“She scoffed bitterly. ‘You are no savior. You are not Jesus Christ of Nazareth. You, like this place, are the devil in disguise.’”
After the release of Midnight Mass, I’ve been pretty vocal about both, my love for religious horror, and my disdain for the fact that so many use the genre tag as a mere bait-and-switch.🙄
Most of the books, movies, or shows that get labeled “religious horror” these days merely throw a cross into the background, include a scene within a church, or have some side character that is obsessed with a specific sacred text.✝️
I am overjoyed to proclaim that the gifted and lamb-like beast Spencer Hamilton, fulfilled his task & finished the race. With his release of “Sister Funtime,” he can now take his crown & sit upon my blessed wall of righteous horror.🙌🏼
For those not able to see through my biblical symbols & similes, let me make it as clear as the sea of glass… Hamilton wrote, what I believe to be, a true religious horror story.👌🏼
In 1971, William Peter Blatty gave birth to the mother of all religious horror novels. If I had to compare “Sister Funtime” with any other story, it would be “The Exorcist.”🤩
Hamilton’s prose is immaculate. His novella is honest and brutal. Whether you consider yourself to be a sinner or a saint, do yourself a favor and grab a copy of this book.👻
People are extremely complicated creatures and religion can often complicate things further, for better or for worse. Because of his firsthand experience, and more recent willingness to continue studying from afar, Spencer Hamilton crafted a horrifying snapshot of just how dangerous Christianity can become when under the control of humans with malevolent motives.💀
I expect great things to come from the pen of indie horror’s Nerdy Wordsmith, but even if he stops writing today (don’t you dare, Spencer), we’ll at least be left with this expertly crafted sacrifice.🤓
⭐️5/5⭐️
Now, let us pray.🙏🏼
August 16, 2022
I'll start off by saying that I don't often read horror stories/books. I wanted to read this though after seeing a review by someone on Instagram.
The start of the story could have really fooled me into thinking this was a really cute story about a sister who went to work at an orphanage and was determined to help the children there. Even with the little hints ('Welcome to hell' might have given a clue though), I might not have understood right away.
But the more time passes, the more Sister Mary Matthew discovers that things at the orphanage are not exactly as she imagined them to be. The head of the orphanage, Sister Eustace, is basically a tyrant. And it seems that everyone is afraid of the mysterious benefactor.
When Sister Mary Matthew turns to Jesus though, things start taking a different turn and there's no more thinking that this is a cute story. I'm not going to say much more for fear of spoiling but let's just say that you'd better not be reading this before going to bed.
There are many unanswered mysteries but the author has promised that the answers will all be answered in following stories/novels. Can't wait to find out more!
The start of the story could have really fooled me into thinking this was a really cute story about a sister who went to work at an orphanage and was determined to help the children there. Even with the little hints ('Welcome to hell' might have given a clue though), I might not have understood right away.
But the more time passes, the more Sister Mary Matthew discovers that things at the orphanage are not exactly as she imagined them to be. The head of the orphanage, Sister Eustace, is basically a tyrant. And it seems that everyone is afraid of the mysterious benefactor.
When Sister Mary Matthew turns to Jesus though, things start taking a different turn and there's no more thinking that this is a cute story. I'm not going to say much more for fear of spoiling but let's just say that you'd better not be reading this before going to bed.
There are many unanswered mysteries but the author has promised that the answers will all be answered in following stories/novels. Can't wait to find out more!
August 30, 2022
This was my very first Spencer Hamilton read, and I am sooo glad I decided to get this novella!!! ☺️☺️. I didn’t know anything going into going into it- just that a lot of other Bookstagrammers I know loved it, and there is a nun called Sister Funtime. Oh, and the cover is awesome and questionable at the same time.
I will definitely be reading Welcome to Smileyland by the brilliant author, Spencer Hamilton!
📚- A good book pairing with this one is Blood Rubies by Michael McDowell. Why not read 2 nun stories back to back?
I will definitely be reading Welcome to Smileyland by the brilliant author, Spencer Hamilton!
📚- A good book pairing with this one is Blood Rubies by Michael McDowell. Why not read 2 nun stories back to back?
October 27, 2024
A really solid read for those into religious horror. It provides a great story while also providing some more mystery about the world and its inhabitants. I'm looking forward to reading more on the Smileyland universe.
April 30, 2024
3.5 stars
December 18, 2025
3.5 / 5
July 26, 2022
'Small rebellions are good for the heart, Sister.'
A religious horror novella set in Smileyland before there was a Smileyland.
I've not yet read any of the author's (@spencer.hamilton.books ) Smileyland stories and I didn't need to as this stands as a separate entity quite nicely.
From a derelict amusement park in the 1980s we are transported back to the 1920s when an orphanage was on the site.
Sister Mary is a young Nun who has been called to do God's work.
Her mission is to love and protect the children and give them a good life.
However, it's not going to be easy as on her first day she's introduced to Sister Agatha Eustace, the tyrannical ruler of St Teresa's Joyous Youths Orphanage.
There's nothing joyous about 'Sister Killjoy' as everyone secretly calls her behind her back.
Sister Mary soon earns her own nickname of Sister Funtime.
She's loved by the kids and by Sister Ines but instantly at odds with Killjoy. It's a relationship with echoes of the battle of minds between McMurphy and Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.
Into this atmosphere of dark, dirty, musty rooms, there come revelations of missing children, talk of the mysterious benefactor, warnings not to go into the basement and enough rules to suck the life out of anyone.
From creepy beginnings we become immersed in a tale of religious fervour and Catholic guilt, a gradual slide into madness and body horror and a journey into a figurative and almost literal hell.
Oh my! The horror really ramped up as the novella hurtled towards it's conclusion 😱.
If you enjoy horror then you'll have no complaints with this book other than how scary it gets. Say your prayers and come meet Sister Funtime if you dare.
✨✨✨✨✨5 stars
A religious horror novella set in Smileyland before there was a Smileyland.
I've not yet read any of the author's (@spencer.hamilton.books ) Smileyland stories and I didn't need to as this stands as a separate entity quite nicely.
From a derelict amusement park in the 1980s we are transported back to the 1920s when an orphanage was on the site.
Sister Mary is a young Nun who has been called to do God's work.
Her mission is to love and protect the children and give them a good life.
However, it's not going to be easy as on her first day she's introduced to Sister Agatha Eustace, the tyrannical ruler of St Teresa's Joyous Youths Orphanage.
There's nothing joyous about 'Sister Killjoy' as everyone secretly calls her behind her back.
Sister Mary soon earns her own nickname of Sister Funtime.
She's loved by the kids and by Sister Ines but instantly at odds with Killjoy. It's a relationship with echoes of the battle of minds between McMurphy and Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.
Into this atmosphere of dark, dirty, musty rooms, there come revelations of missing children, talk of the mysterious benefactor, warnings not to go into the basement and enough rules to suck the life out of anyone.
From creepy beginnings we become immersed in a tale of religious fervour and Catholic guilt, a gradual slide into madness and body horror and a journey into a figurative and almost literal hell.
Oh my! The horror really ramped up as the novella hurtled towards it's conclusion 😱.
If you enjoy horror then you'll have no complaints with this book other than how scary it gets. Say your prayers and come meet Sister Funtime if you dare.
✨✨✨✨✨5 stars
November 16, 2025
LOVED THIS ONE! A quick novella.
So it opens with an old amusement park and the tour guide is informing everyone of the property’s past.
Long ago, the grounds held an orphanage. Nuns ran the orphanage being funded by a mysterious benefactor.
The headmistress is a tyrant, leaving the children and nuns in fear.
There’s a dark secret to this place that slowly unravels into its final collapse.
Once again, hate to say more but loved it!
So it opens with an old amusement park and the tour guide is informing everyone of the property’s past.
Long ago, the grounds held an orphanage. Nuns ran the orphanage being funded by a mysterious benefactor.
The headmistress is a tyrant, leaving the children and nuns in fear.
There’s a dark secret to this place that slowly unravels into its final collapse.
Once again, hate to say more but loved it!
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