Summary
The book follows Spanian from his childhood all the way to present day. Spanian grew up surrounded by drug addiction, crime, and domestic violence - in the midst of this chaos, he was sexually abused and had undiagnosed psychopathy. He followed the path of those around him, threatening his entire school cohort while wielding a knife, stealing cars, and committing larceny. His journey through the correctional system is the same experience that many have - he became accustomed to jail because that was all he knew. Yet, he woke up to the fact that this wasn't the life he wanted to lead and had the strength to move away from drug addiction and eventually got released from jail. He's used his experiences to build a social media profile, aiming to steer others away from this path, stressing that it's just not worth it - that wasting away in jail is no life at all.
Personal views
I related to this book, because I know that I could have very easily been in Spanian's position if I didn't have the support systems in place throughout my life. This book has given me the strength to start telling my story and Goodreads is a safe place to start I suppose.
I was made a ward of the state when I was 6 years old - my biological parents were heroin addicts and I experienced every form of abuse while I was in their care. I was very fortunate to be taken in by my Aunt and Uncle, who sent me to good schools and supported me despite my angst. But I've done things in my life that I'm ashamed of, and there's always this part of my mind that thinks "What if I hadn't been removed from their care? Would I have ended up dead from a heroin overdose in the street?" Spanian helped me quiet that part of my brain, because I know I have an inner strength that will get me through and keep me on the right path.
Another part of my brain is constantly thinking, did I deserve this life? This success? But this quote all brought it home for me:
At the same time I can't say that I don't deserve what I have because who deserves anything that they have in life?... If actors, models and athletes deserve what they have because of what they do, then I deserve to be successful because I have a charismatic personality and I'm articulate
Similarly, I've worked hard to be where I am - I'm passionate, driven and I'm also articulate. I don't beat around the bush when I'm passionate about something (this review will attest to that).
He finishes off with saying:
It's not as simple as leaving jail and moving on with your life - it sticks with you. Even though I've been a free man for four years now, I spent so long in prison that it's become my entire persona and I can't get rid of it.
I know I can't leave my traumas behind - I can't forget them. But they have become an integral part of my persona, and I can draw on these experiences and remember "I am strong! I've been through hell and back, and look at the life I've built. If I can get through that, I can get through anything."