Despite the obvious room for improvement this book had, it somehow added to the overall charm I found in the experience reading it. That isn't to say the book was a great novel, but it was good enough for me to find a lot of enjoyment reading it. The first 100 or so pages contain a lot of over-description, lengthy and oftentimes rehashed dialogue, and over-the-top melodrama that honestly a little editing and tweaking could have fixed right up. Sometimes it was so bad that it didn't just pull me right out of the story, but also made me laugh, and I don't think that was exactly the emotion Salamander was going for. It almost felt like the book was desperate to have the reader know that these soldiers were in utter turmoil, but couldn't find another way to show us other than beating us over the head with daytime television dialogue. It is true, these superhumans make it hard to convey certain emotions on the typical human spectrum (depression through whoring, drinking, drugs, gambling, etc.) and this leaves few ways to bring out their sadness at the death of their Captain Kadai in creative ways, but in this book, it unfortunately feels like that challenge is not met with an honest attempt.
With all that being said, there is an undeniable charm reading it because it's obvious how the author cares and the characters care. I only had a couple of major gripes. First off, I really despise the mixing of genre language, no matter what the purpose of doing so might be. There were so many times it felt like I was reading a science-fiction novel where the ability to describe scenes in a futuristic sense was abandoned for an archaic and absurdly out of place fantasy phrase. And a second thing that really annoys me as a reader is when a character starts a sentence, and that sentence is picked up three HUGE paragraphs later after tons of unnecessary description separate the initial statement. The first sentence of Chapter 4 is a perfect example:
"Is Pyriel certain?" asked Ba'ken? (Nick Kyme, Lords of Nocturne Omnibus, page 79).
You'll have to get the answer to that question around 250 words later...if you even remember that the question was asked.
It must be said that as the book moves forward, and the action and weight of the story progresses, these types of editing overlooks really start to dwindle. The action alone makes it to where the over-description, flowery language, awkward conversations, and melodrama disappear. The nature of the story takes away these issues and when the story gets going, it is a really fun ride, leaving only the "intermission" scenes that sometimes get a little lost in the sauce so to speak.
Overall, this book was a nice ride in the 41st Millenium. I love the Salamanders Chapter for their selflessness in defending the weak, and their belief in the value of preserving humanity. The scenes where this was on display was an absolute joy, and satisfying to read. Being swept along as these scenes played out made up for a lot of the problems I had with this book and made for some of the best parts of the novel. I will continue to read the subsequent stories just for that.
Most memorable scene:
A chitinous horde attacks an underground settlement on Scoria while a small unit of Salamanders are there by chance
"The boy Val'in was running again.
He'd followed Illiad and his warriors after the Salamanders had charged, and now found himself in the midst of the fighting. Clutching a shovel in trembling hands, he came face-to-face with a chitin. The creature's blood-slick mandibles chattered expectantly as it scuttled towards him. Val'in backed away but, with a hab-shack suddenly at his back, could retreat no further. Tears were streaming down his face but he held the shovel up defiantly. Rearing back, the chitin chittered in what might have been pleasure before an armoured hulk intervened between the creature and its kill.
'Stay behind me!' Ba'ken yelled, grunting as he held back the chitin's bone claws that it had thrashed down upon him. He couldn't risk the heavy flamer - the blast would have torched the boy too. Instead, he had stowed the weapon in its harness on his back and went hand-to-hand instead.
...
The beast was tough, with the bulk and heft of a tank. Ba'ken felt his strength yielding to it and roared to draw on his inner reserves. His secondary heart pumped blood frantically, his body adopting a heightened battle-state, impelling a sudden surge from his Astartes's muscles.
'Xenos scum,' he spat, using hate to fuel his efforts.
A second chitin, just finished gnawing on a settler, emerged on Ba'ken's left flank. The Salamander saw it scuttle into his eye line.
Unarmed, there was no way he could fight them both.
The ragged corpse of the half-devoured settler slumped from the chitin's maw. Stepping over it, bones crunching under the chitin's weight, the creature advanced upon Ba'ken.
Rushing into its path was Val'in. He swung his shovel madly from left to right in a vain effort to slow the beast.
Ba'ken's face contorted with horror.
'Flee!' he urged. 'Hide boy!'
Val'in wasn't listening. He stood before the massive chitin bravely, trying to defend his saviour as he had defended him.
'No!' cried Ba'ken, distraught as the creature loomed.
Explosive impacts rippled down the creature's flank, tearing up chips of carapace and punching holes through flesh. The chitin was spun about from the force of the bolter fire thundering against it. Screeching, grey sludge drooling from its shattered maw, it slumped and was still.
Apion drew close and fired an execution burst into the creature's shrivelled head."
(Nick Kyme, Lords of Nocturne Omnibus, page 166-167)