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Apocalypse Blockers #14
respect to the man in the ice cream van
Everything was better in the 90s unless it was being attacked by ghost witches. If it was being attacked by ghost witches then it was not that great; although it happened at a great time and in an awesome setting!
ebook
Published December 3, 2021
About the author
Simon Carr
41 books158 followersSimon Carr is- well, he is me. Hello. I write comedy Sci-fi, fantasy, and horror books.
I have been churning out my nonsense since 2018 with my first book, Space and Stuff. I've spawned much nonsense since then, picking up a load of awards along the way, which were purely for my own vanity purposes but now are a very handy way of saying 'no! AI didn't write it!'
My books are, well, let's put it this way: you're only getting this from me, so if this is your thing, I'm the only shop selling it, and you are more than welcome to look around; just don't pet the Lama.
I have been churning out my nonsense since 2018 with my first book, Space and Stuff. I've spawned much nonsense since then, picking up a load of awards along the way, which were purely for my own vanity purposes but now are a very handy way of saying 'no! AI didn't write it!'
My books are, well, let's put it this way: you're only getting this from me, so if this is your thing, I'm the only shop selling it, and you are more than welcome to look around; just don't pet the Lama.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
May 23, 2022
Dave, Stan, and Mongy are three friends who are in need of money. In order to get some money, they decide to throw an illegal rave. Unfortunately, in the course of setting things up for the rave, the three friends mistakenly set free some witches who began to cause problems. But not to worry! Dorothy the White Witch is on the case and she's going to make sure that Dave, Stan, and Mongy are punished for colluding with the evil witches! Wait. They're not colluding with the witches? Then why did they make contact with the witches? They didn't? Oh, dear. Well, we still have to stop the witches.
This story is like a combination of Hot Fuzz and Hocus Pocus, and is absolutely hysterical. Simon Carr has managed to deliver another wonderfully comedic story that will have you laughing from the very beginning. This book is narrated by Kent Cadwallader, who does a great job. His narration pulls you into the story from the very beginning. With the exception of a repeated sentence at the beginning of one of the chapters (and I'm not entirely sure that wasn't intentional, either), the narration was mistake-free.
So, long review short - if you want a funny story that will have you laughing out loud, then you need to either read or listen to this book. If, on the other hand, you want a book that will bore you nearly to death, then you definitely don't want to read or listen to this book, so move along. No, really, move along... Ok, good. Now that the boring people have moved on, I want to reiterate to those of you remaining that this book is really funny, and you should definitely get a copy to read/listen to. I also plan to listen to it again because, not only is it funny enough to warrant a re-read/listen, but also because it is short enough that I can do so in a single afternoon.
This story is like a combination of Hot Fuzz and Hocus Pocus, and is absolutely hysterical. Simon Carr has managed to deliver another wonderfully comedic story that will have you laughing from the very beginning. This book is narrated by Kent Cadwallader, who does a great job. His narration pulls you into the story from the very beginning. With the exception of a repeated sentence at the beginning of one of the chapters (and I'm not entirely sure that wasn't intentional, either), the narration was mistake-free.
So, long review short - if you want a funny story that will have you laughing out loud, then you need to either read or listen to this book. If, on the other hand, you want a book that will bore you nearly to death, then you definitely don't want to read or listen to this book, so move along. No, really, move along... Ok, good. Now that the boring people have moved on, I want to reiterate to those of you remaining that this book is really funny, and you should definitely get a copy to read/listen to. I also plan to listen to it again because, not only is it funny enough to warrant a re-read/listen, but also because it is short enough that I can do so in a single afternoon.
February 21, 2022
If you wanted to create the largest illegal rave in British history you wouldnt want Dave, Stan, and Mongy (with his largest tongue in the world) to be in charge of arranging things. If you needed to prevent the Pendle Hill witches from taking over the world you wouldn't want Dave, Stan, and Mongy to be your last line of defense. But, you just might be wrong.
Especially if you throw in White Witch Dorothy and Derek the goblin who identifies as an elf (well, except for goblins being immortal and elves not. I mean you have to stay flexible.)
If you get hung up on silly little things in your stories; stuff like grammar, foul language, spelling, or format; drive you crazy, this is not the book for you. Oops, almost left out about the obvious cut & paste fail to start Chapter 11. If you like important stuff, like humor, friendship, a fun book, or excessive drug and alcohol abuse (all in good fun) this is the next book you need to read. Simon Carr wins again.
Especially if you throw in White Witch Dorothy and Derek the goblin who identifies as an elf (well, except for goblins being immortal and elves not. I mean you have to stay flexible.)
If you get hung up on silly little things in your stories; stuff like grammar, foul language, spelling, or format; drive you crazy, this is not the book for you. Oops, almost left out about the obvious cut & paste fail to start Chapter 11. If you like important stuff, like humor, friendship, a fun book, or excessive drug and alcohol abuse (all in good fun) this is the next book you need to read. Simon Carr wins again.
September 29, 2023
I think this book has a good premise, but it has a lot of problems... I struggled to read it. The copy I received had not been edited, unfortunately. It appeared as almost a stream of consciousness combined with a formatting that did not match the platform I was reading on (Kindle). Being from the US, I didn't understand a majority of the slang, even in the context in which it was used, which was disappointing. I don't usually struggle to read or understand books in this way, and I believe Carr is British. I'm not sure why the slang was used so prolifically, or why I was left feeling so daft, to borrow a phrase, but I just couldn't read more than a few pages at a time without wanting to have a physical copy to throw against the wall or beat against my head! And I usually love Carr's work! I thought the idea was great, but I struggled to follow how it really measured up. There was a lot of nonsense that felt contrived and just not part of the story, and it felt long and drawn out until the very end, where it felt incredibly rushed to resolve. It could have been some of the subjects and what sidetracked the whole situation, I'm not entirely sure... it just didn't hold up for me. And I love that Carr is so incredibly anti-PC... so I laughed at a lot of it. I had to look up some of the history, which was great, cuz I got to learn something new. I just couldn't quite find the thread in this one. Perhaps it's better if you're from the UK or understand the slang better than I do?
May 6, 2022
I was given a code for this book in exchange for this review. I am a crazy cat lady who reads mysteries so not sure if I am the right audience for this book. The story premise is very much like the heroes of Shaun of the Dead meet the witches from Hocus Pocus with a R-rating. I was looking forward to reading something different from my norm and this was it.
The characters aren’t naturally likable they do have to grow on you and the bad guys are way worse so you can at least root for the good guys. The story does start getting a little predictable but by that time I was interested enough to let the story play out. Overall not bad but just not what I’m used to reading/listening to.
My biggest issue is that I must admit the language bothered me a lot at the beginning of the book, but the author toned it down quite a bit by the end of the book. I don’t mind language in a book but what I do mind is the language sticking out like it doesn’t really flow with the book.
I really enjoyed the narrator and their ability to provide emotion and inflection to the story.
The characters aren’t naturally likable they do have to grow on you and the bad guys are way worse so you can at least root for the good guys. The story does start getting a little predictable but by that time I was interested enough to let the story play out. Overall not bad but just not what I’m used to reading/listening to.
My biggest issue is that I must admit the language bothered me a lot at the beginning of the book, but the author toned it down quite a bit by the end of the book. I don’t mind language in a book but what I do mind is the language sticking out like it doesn’t really flow with the book.
I really enjoyed the narrator and their ability to provide emotion and inflection to the story.
January 9, 2022
This was a hilarious comedy horror that nearly got 5!
So, with this book, you can easily place it with several different awesome movies in there. There is a lot of profanity, but it adds to the laughs quite well. Close to the end, Simon Carr adds a little bit of genius fourth wall breaking narration that will strip breathing for a little bit. I absolutely loved it! Three idiots, their plan for hijinks, and a bit of mustache twirling style, dimwitted evil for good measure. It's awesome stuff, and a short read, ideal for days where you just need an unapologetic laugh.
The only reason this book didn't get a 5 star from me is a little bit of format issues that might be more Amazon's fault than Mr. Carr's. And really, they are finite compared to the quality.
So, with this book, you can easily place it with several different awesome movies in there. There is a lot of profanity, but it adds to the laughs quite well. Close to the end, Simon Carr adds a little bit of genius fourth wall breaking narration that will strip breathing for a little bit. I absolutely loved it! Three idiots, their plan for hijinks, and a bit of mustache twirling style, dimwitted evil for good measure. It's awesome stuff, and a short read, ideal for days where you just need an unapologetic laugh.
The only reason this book didn't get a 5 star from me is a little bit of format issues that might be more Amazon's fault than Mr. Carr's. And really, they are finite compared to the quality.
July 3, 2023
***I couldn't find this book listed on Amazon so I'm posting here and Goodreads.
I was given a free audiobook code in exchange for a review.
This is the second story I've listened to by Simon Carr. Just like the first one, this was very entertaining. Other than all the "fucks" at the beginning, which felt overdone/unnatural, this was a fun listen.
The narrator did a good job. My only complaint was that there were times throughout the story when he'd lower his voice for whatever reason, so I was constantly turning my volume up/down.
Overall, I'll be on the lookout for the next Simon Carr story.
I was given a free audiobook code in exchange for a review.
This is the second story I've listened to by Simon Carr. Just like the first one, this was very entertaining. Other than all the "fucks" at the beginning, which felt overdone/unnatural, this was a fun listen.
The narrator did a good job. My only complaint was that there were times throughout the story when he'd lower his voice for whatever reason, so I was constantly turning my volume up/down.
Overall, I'll be on the lookout for the next Simon Carr story.
April 19, 2022
Simon Carr has written a story of three guys who decided to make some money by hosting a rave in the woods. Everything was going to plan until they inadvertently allowed some ghost witches to escape from their prison. The story was humorous and fun, and I found it entertaining. Kent Cadwallader's narration was great, and his performance added to the story's entertainment. I was given a free copy of the audiobook and I have voluntarily posted this review.
May 5, 2023
This book is hilarious, as one would expect from Simon Carr, and the narrator, Kent Cadwallader, is brilliant.
A review copy of this book was sent to me by the author. All of the above opinions are my own.
A review copy of this book was sent to me by the author. All of the above opinions are my own.
July 10, 2023
Hysterical from beginning to end! Stan, Dave and Mongy, clueless descendants of some pretty nasty, evil witches, accidentally free them from their entombment during an illegal rave in the woods. Drugs, alcohol and witches are in abundance! What could go wrong?!
November 1, 2023
Well we’re do I begin I gotta say I enjoyed this Dave Stan an mongy reminded me of the 3 stooges horror an comedy well done I had a giggle 🤭
January 16, 2026
In really enjoyed reading this book. A little weird, Dark and spicy.
December 10, 2021
One more off the wall novel by Simon Carr. I have read everything he has written I think. I love the satire of the Brits. It is a dry humor that has a slow burn and once you get it – you really get it. Our protagonist believes that everything was better in the 90s. (I might disagree and say it was the 70’s but I get off track here). He wants to be back in the 90s, but forgets that during the 90s he was attacked by ghost witches. It wasn’t all that great being attacked by the witches, but he is sure the rest of the 90’s was the greatest. You got to read it to get it! Carr has a way of taking the most mundane sentence and twisting it and pulling the humor out of it. Ok you get it – I recommend this work by Carr. I received this novel from Story Origin. This is my honest review. All of the opinions are my own!
December 30, 2021
It;s a Simon Carr, so right there you know it;s going to be irrelevant, impossible, funny as heck, and full of words and sentences that make you go;huh; ..
. O.k., if you are a grammar, and spelling fanatic then please skip these books.Giving a bad review based on those ,is like swatting a bear for pooping in the woods, it;s just not fair and should never be done.
If you love slapstick, fun mystery, chaos and Maxwell Smart you will love this book. I;ll bet if you do, you will soon end up with a Simon Carr library shelf of books. They are like Lays Potato Chips, you can;t devour just one.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
. O.k., if you are a grammar, and spelling fanatic then please skip these books.Giving a bad review based on those ,is like swatting a bear for pooping in the woods, it;s just not fair and should never be done.
If you love slapstick, fun mystery, chaos and Maxwell Smart you will love this book. I;ll bet if you do, you will soon end up with a Simon Carr library shelf of books. They are like Lays Potato Chips, you can;t devour just one.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
April 19, 2022
This is the second book I've read by this author and though this book was better than the last it's just really kinda stupid to me! I really liked the storyline and the characters overall could've been great, but the author ruined it for me by all of the cheesy comments an crap! Anyway maybe I'm just to old for this kinda humor /mentality! I'm 55 BTW. I can't decide if I should even bother reading another to see if it gets better, I only read this one after the first to see if it got better! Lol This is a low three stars!😉😆
January 13, 2022
This book is hilarious! I really enjoyed the interplay between the characters which gave the book a natural feeling. The world building creates a stage to play this humorous horror upon. While there is no direct connection to the author’s other books it continues the sort of ambling humor of previous tales. I recommend this book to adult readers that are looking for someone to tickle their funny bone.
I received a free review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I received a free review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
March 30, 2022
They say that if you remember the eighties then you weren't there. Or was that the sixties. To be honest I don't remember either.
What I do remember is that this is another hit from Mr Carr, with all his trademark social commentary and foul-mouthed wit.
Set in the 1980's the plot revolves around organizing a rave and saving the world from evil witches.
Nice characterization and an excellent plot.
If you're thinking of getting the audiobook then the narrator is first class
What I do remember is that this is another hit from Mr Carr, with all his trademark social commentary and foul-mouthed wit.
Set in the 1980's the plot revolves around organizing a rave and saving the world from evil witches.
Nice characterization and an excellent plot.
If you're thinking of getting the audiobook then the narrator is first class
April 7, 2022
Yet another cracker from simon carr. It’s like the film human traffic meets the Blair witch project. I gentle rise from the start of the book and the tempo builds nicely. The boys get in way over their heads and then all hell breaks loose, literally. The characters are brilliant as well. You really route for them and I have to admit, at one point actually cheer them on. Such a good book
April 26, 2022
Another great story from Simon Carr. Expect to laugh with this one, and really anything Simon Carr writes. Not the easiest way to make money in the middle of the woods, but definitely one of the funniest ways. Would recommend! Audio Version: This was my first time listening to Kent Cadwallader and he did a stellar job with his character voices.
August 22, 2022
This was good,gritty,fun.There was a bit of foul language.There are witches in the woods who just want out to have fun.A group of gnarly guys trigger their escape without knowing. Narration by Kent Cadwallader was good.I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
January 3, 2022
They believe it was better in the 90s except if you were not being chased by ghosts of witches. This will be an interesting read which will keep you amused until you reach the end
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
May 5, 2023
This book is hilarious, as one would expect from Simon Carr, and the narrator, Kent Cadwallader, is brilliant.
A review copy of this book was sent to me by the author. All of the above opinions are my own.
A review copy of this book was sent to me by the author. All of the above opinions are my own.
April 29, 2022
Hrespect to the man in ice cream van
by Simon Carr
Hilarious
Simon Carr has another hit with this one!
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
by Simon Carr
Hilarious
Simon Carr has another hit with this one!
I received a free copy of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.
May 16, 2022
This is the first Simon Carr book that I've read. I'll be reading more of his work.
I laughed out loud many times and I loved the Skeleton character near the end of the book.
I laughed out loud many times and I loved the Skeleton character near the end of the book.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews