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Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff: Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward with Your Life
America’s top cleaning expert and star of the hit series Legacy List with Matt Paxton distills his fail-proof approach to decluttering and downsizing.
Your boxes of photos, family’s china, and even the kids' height charts aren’t just stuff; they’re attached to a lifetime of memories--and letting them go can be scary. With empathy, expertise, and humor, Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff, written in collaboration with AARP, helps you sift through years of clutter, let go of what no longer serves you, and identify the items worth keeping so that you can focus on living in the present. For over 20 years, Matt Paxton has helped people from all walks of life who want to live more simply declutter and downsize. As a featured cleaner on Hoarders and host of the Emmy-nominated Legacy List with Matt Paxton on PBS, he has identified the psychological roadblocks that most organizational experts routinely miss but that prevent so many of us from lightening our material load. Using poignant stories from the thousands of individuals and families he has worked with, Paxton brings his signature insight to a necessary task. Whether you’re tired of living with clutter, making space for a loved one, or moving to a smaller home or retirement community, this book is for you. Paxton’s unique, step-by-step process gives you the tools you need to get the job done.
319 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 8, 2022
1188 people are currently reading
6480 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 596 reviews
February 5, 2023
3 stars - a good read if feelings and memories are holding you back on your decluttering efforts. A bit more memoir than I needed though…
April 13, 2022
My job is more about helping people achieve peace of mind than anything else. It's a psychological and even spiritual process that I help facilitate."
Matt Paxton is a decluttering and organizing expert with over twenty years of experience who helps people during a move, downsizing, or just wanting to declutter their home. After his first decluttering job with his first client Etta, he started his company, Clutter Cleaner.
I admired his dedication to assisting others in their times of need. It's all about decluttering, downsizing, and moving on with your life. This book provided some helpful advice on how to declutter quickly and effectively. The author also offered plenty of reference materials and cleaning tips invaluable for people in the USA.
However, it wasn't what I was looking for, and I was seeking a way to get over the emotional attachment to personal belongings. He shared his clients' stories in each chapter, and there were some chapters that I thought the book was written for people in a different age group (downsizing due to retirement) and people who had to clean out the family home after a death. It became more of a guidebook for deciding what stays and goes when decluttering other's belonging rather than our own.
Nevertheless, two main takeaways from this book are:
✾ Matt's Twelve Tips for getting started. I liked the Ten-Minute Sweep idea the most. This rule is just to get you in the habit of decluttering. We need to commit to those ten minutes every day until it becomes part of our daily routine. I am doing it currently, even though not every day.
✾ "The best predictor of whether you'll need an item is whether you are currently using it or have recently used it."
Overall, this book wasn't bad; only the content I was looking for wasn't there. However, I believe that the tips might be useful for me in the future. I still would love to recommend this book to anyone who plans to declutter/downsize, and maybe you can read the chapters that apply to you only.
🌟: 2.8/5
Matt Paxton is a decluttering and organizing expert with over twenty years of experience who helps people during a move, downsizing, or just wanting to declutter their home. After his first decluttering job with his first client Etta, he started his company, Clutter Cleaner.
I admired his dedication to assisting others in their times of need. It's all about decluttering, downsizing, and moving on with your life. This book provided some helpful advice on how to declutter quickly and effectively. The author also offered plenty of reference materials and cleaning tips invaluable for people in the USA.
However, it wasn't what I was looking for, and I was seeking a way to get over the emotional attachment to personal belongings. He shared his clients' stories in each chapter, and there were some chapters that I thought the book was written for people in a different age group (downsizing due to retirement) and people who had to clean out the family home after a death. It became more of a guidebook for deciding what stays and goes when decluttering other's belonging rather than our own.
Nevertheless, two main takeaways from this book are:
✾ Matt's Twelve Tips for getting started. I liked the Ten-Minute Sweep idea the most. This rule is just to get you in the habit of decluttering. We need to commit to those ten minutes every day until it becomes part of our daily routine. I am doing it currently, even though not every day.
✾ "The best predictor of whether you'll need an item is whether you are currently using it or have recently used it."
Overall, this book wasn't bad; only the content I was looking for wasn't there. However, I believe that the tips might be useful for me in the future. I still would love to recommend this book to anyone who plans to declutter/downsize, and maybe you can read the chapters that apply to you only.
🌟: 2.8/5
February 26, 2022
I battle with keeping too many things because I am so sentimental. 5 stars because I'm succeeding with a cleanout that is taking months, but involves clearing out decades worth of stuff. Go slow...to go fast.
July 26, 2023
After participating in an AARP webinar, entitled, "Declutter and Downsize: A Conversation with Matt Paxton and Nikki Boyd," I couldn't resist purchasing Paxton's new book, based on his professional career and his PBS television series. "Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff: Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward with Your Life" came to me at exactly the right time in my life - as I am caring for aging parents who will soon need alternative housing, and who have a lifetime of possessions to go through.
Takeaways:
1. Most importantly, Paxton walks the talk. One of the fundamental principals of his work is that it isn't stuff that is often important, it is the stories behind the stuff. If we preserve the stories, we don't need the stuff. In each of the chapters that take the reader through the entire process of decluttering and downsizing, Paxton shares his own story, as well as the stories of his clients to exemplify each of his points. I found much of this very moving, as I could personally relate to so much of it. The "story" approach was a new take on the issue. From this, I realized that I need to be a better listener when working with our parents, to hear the stories about the items that they have personal attachment to. I tried it, and it worked! My mother and I had a long conversation about it.
2. Chapters include: "Uncover the Stories Behind the Stuff," "Define Your Finish Line," "Take the First Baby Steps," "Sort Through Pictures and Documents," "Decide What to Keep and Build Your Legacy List," "Decide What to Give Away," "Decide What to Sell (and Where to Sell It)," "Clean Up," and "Move Forward." The "Legacy List" idea was particularly intriguing to me. It led to lots of thought and writing in my journal about the five items from the home that I grew up in that would be most important/meaningful for me to keep.
3. Each chapter, as well as the end of the book, includes extensive resource lists that Paxton has actually had experience working with. An excellent tool for any person working with parents, moving him or herself, or wanting to clean and declutter a living space.
This one won't go on the bookshelf. I will keep "Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff" handy so that I can refer to it often. I will recommend it to my friends and family as well. Just terrific!
Takeaways:
1. Most importantly, Paxton walks the talk. One of the fundamental principals of his work is that it isn't stuff that is often important, it is the stories behind the stuff. If we preserve the stories, we don't need the stuff. In each of the chapters that take the reader through the entire process of decluttering and downsizing, Paxton shares his own story, as well as the stories of his clients to exemplify each of his points. I found much of this very moving, as I could personally relate to so much of it. The "story" approach was a new take on the issue. From this, I realized that I need to be a better listener when working with our parents, to hear the stories about the items that they have personal attachment to. I tried it, and it worked! My mother and I had a long conversation about it.
2. Chapters include: "Uncover the Stories Behind the Stuff," "Define Your Finish Line," "Take the First Baby Steps," "Sort Through Pictures and Documents," "Decide What to Keep and Build Your Legacy List," "Decide What to Give Away," "Decide What to Sell (and Where to Sell It)," "Clean Up," and "Move Forward." The "Legacy List" idea was particularly intriguing to me. It led to lots of thought and writing in my journal about the five items from the home that I grew up in that would be most important/meaningful for me to keep.
3. Each chapter, as well as the end of the book, includes extensive resource lists that Paxton has actually had experience working with. An excellent tool for any person working with parents, moving him or herself, or wanting to clean and declutter a living space.
This one won't go on the bookshelf. I will keep "Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff" handy so that I can refer to it often. I will recommend it to my friends and family as well. Just terrific!
August 17, 2024
People don't miss stuff. They miss the people behind the stuff.
Believe me when I say, I am not a hoarder. However, I have a hard time throwing things out that have memories attached to them and as a result I now simply have too much STUFF! When I found this book, I immediately thought that this might hold the secret to help me start decluttering. I find that even the thought of going through my "stuff" and trying to declutter causes stress. I applaud anyone that is good at getting rid of "stuff"! Even as I started reading through the first 10 pages of this book, I could feel my heart rate pick up speed and I just knew that my blood pressure was on the rise. Decluttering is not an easy or a one day job.
The author, Matt Paxton, hosts a show on PBS called Legacy List and has frequently been on Hoarders on AMC. He is a public speaker and radio personality on themes such as downsizing and decluttering. In this book, he covers important topics including:
🚮Identifying your goals.
🚮Determining what's holding you back.
🚮Where to start.
🚮How to sort through pictures and documents.
🚮Deciding what to keep, sell, or give away.
🚮Tips and tricks for getting the job done.
There are a lot of stories in this book about actual people who hired Mr. Paxton to help them declutter. Not all the information will appeal to everyone, but the stories usually share hidden gems of knowledge that can be used in other people's situations.
I am a long way from being finished with this daunting task, but this book has motivated me to start taking baby steps toward achieving my own decluttering goals. If you don't see me on Goodreads, you will know what I am doing! Wish me luck! 🍀
Believe me when I say, I am not a hoarder. However, I have a hard time throwing things out that have memories attached to them and as a result I now simply have too much STUFF! When I found this book, I immediately thought that this might hold the secret to help me start decluttering. I find that even the thought of going through my "stuff" and trying to declutter causes stress. I applaud anyone that is good at getting rid of "stuff"! Even as I started reading through the first 10 pages of this book, I could feel my heart rate pick up speed and I just knew that my blood pressure was on the rise. Decluttering is not an easy or a one day job.
The author, Matt Paxton, hosts a show on PBS called Legacy List and has frequently been on Hoarders on AMC. He is a public speaker and radio personality on themes such as downsizing and decluttering. In this book, he covers important topics including:
🚮Identifying your goals.
🚮Determining what's holding you back.
🚮Where to start.
🚮How to sort through pictures and documents.
🚮Deciding what to keep, sell, or give away.
🚮Tips and tricks for getting the job done.
There are a lot of stories in this book about actual people who hired Mr. Paxton to help them declutter. Not all the information will appeal to everyone, but the stories usually share hidden gems of knowledge that can be used in other people's situations.
I am a long way from being finished with this daunting task, but this book has motivated me to start taking baby steps toward achieving my own decluttering goals. If you don't see me on Goodreads, you will know what I am doing! Wish me luck! 🍀
April 9, 2022
It just wasn't what I expected. It more the nuts and bolts of the how to let go (these are companies that will come help, these are the places you can sell your stuff) rather than the emotional side of how to let go which was what I was looking for. Well written and enjoyable to read, but the content I was looking for wasn't there.
October 21, 2022
This is one of the most helpful books I have read on decluttering. It provided me with lots of concrete and (relatively) easy-to-implement ideas on how to declutter and organize. Told with humor and lots of examples, I found it very helpful, especially when considering my pack rat mentality which he refers to as "Why You Can't Let Go." He lists documents one MUST save and describes how to handle accumulated books, clothing, magazines, etc. He devotes an entire chapter to my biggest bugaboo: photos, both printed photographs as well as digital collections. Now, if only I can get my act together enough to put his ideas into action!
To start or not to start, that is the question!
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to keep
The years and years of accumulated junk,
Or to take arms against the sea of paperwork!
February 12, 2022
This is Nonfiction/Self-Help on sifting through personal belongings of yours, a loved one, or a client and helping them to declutter, downsize and move forward in life. The author seemed very personable and I loved his commitment and his desire to help others when facing this need in their life.
The author makes so many valid points especially when helping others through this. I liked this one. It felt a little long at times, but he seemed completely genuine. So 3 stars.
The author makes so many valid points especially when helping others through this. I liked this one. It felt a little long at times, but he seemed completely genuine. So 3 stars.
March 16, 2022
This book was not what I was looking for. It was a detailed guide into the nuts and bolts of how to get rid of items after a death or downsizing. I was looking more for how to get through the emotional attachments to things, not the website address of where to list items.
February 15, 2022
good book for moving
I liked the book but I didn’t love it. It felt like it was written for people who either wanted to start a decluttering business or were moving. I like minimalist books so much but this was not that.
I liked the book but I didn’t love it. It felt like it was written for people who either wanted to start a decluttering business or were moving. I like minimalist books so much but this was not that.
March 20, 2022
It was the title that drew me into this one. Trying to settle my parents' estate has been emotionally challenging, but also mentally and physically a lot of work. This book was comforting in a way that helped me feel like I wasn't alone in this situation, that so many people are trying to deal with "stuff" and the emotional attachments and memories that are a part of them. There were some good ideas for organizing important documents, creating a legacy list, and where to sell/donate items but mostly it was confirming that "things" are not the people we loved, and it is ok to let them go because our love will never let go. I'm more determined to declutter and downsize so my own kids won't need to labor over a lifetime accumulation of stuff. This was a good motivator.
April 4, 2022
This book has been inspiring during spring cleaning. While most of the tips are geared towards those who have been in their homes for decades and who are actively moving and down-sizing, there are good tips for those who desire to be intentional about avoiding those future spaces. (And sometimes it is unavoidable as these spaces are inherited.) The focus is on telling stories and sharing memories as a way to recognize our relationship with things, and I thought this was a significant early step in the process. The section on photos was eye-opening: there's no need to keep double photos, blurry photos, or photos of people you can’t remember or dislike.
August 20, 2024
Really valuable, practical information and guidance on how to declutter and free yourself from so much stuff. I really would give it a 4.5. Couldn’t give it a 5 because of the parts that felt a bit like advertising for companies. I don’t mind hearing about a brand of cleaning product that works well. I didn’t want to hear so much about companies. This is a very small criticism though. Overall, this book is very good and is really making me think about getting rid of some of my stuff!
May 29, 2024
3.5 stars
I didn't realize this author has a tv show called 'Legacy List'... I'll have to check it out on PBS.
I didn't realize this author has a tv show called 'Legacy List'... I'll have to check it out on PBS.
Audiobook source: Libby
Narrator: Matt Paxton
Length: 5h 12m
April 9, 2025
3.5 stars.
Paxton has some unique (for decluttering books) & practical advice about clearing out your stuff (or the stuff of loved ones that you are dealing with) with a bigger emphasis on the hard/sentimental items (things with memories/meaning, photos, etc.). A big part of his advice is a Legacy List. And, honestly, I know he's 100% right about this; all of my grandparents passed long ago & I have one specific item I saved from each, a thing that really epitomizes to me who they were, our memories together, etc. And just the single item from each really does trigger the flood of memories for me. I just now need to take this a step further to apply to my mom's items, as well as a way to kick-start my own process (especially his advice on reducing photos).
I wouldn't necessarily think of this as an all-in-one decluttering book. But if you're struggling with sentimental stuff & getting hung up for various reasons, Paxton's been-there, done-that advice may be what gets you moving again.
Paxton has some unique (for decluttering books) & practical advice about clearing out your stuff (or the stuff of loved ones that you are dealing with) with a bigger emphasis on the hard/sentimental items (things with memories/meaning, photos, etc.). A big part of his advice is a Legacy List. And, honestly, I know he's 100% right about this; all of my grandparents passed long ago & I have one specific item I saved from each, a thing that really epitomizes to me who they were, our memories together, etc. And just the single item from each really does trigger the flood of memories for me. I just now need to take this a step further to apply to my mom's items, as well as a way to kick-start my own process (especially his advice on reducing photos).
I wouldn't necessarily think of this as an all-in-one decluttering book. But if you're struggling with sentimental stuff & getting hung up for various reasons, Paxton's been-there, done-that advice may be what gets you moving again.
August 17, 2025
Good practical advice that you can follow. This covers the emotional side of downsizing. Highly recommend if other organizing books haven't worked for you.
December 6, 2022
This was probably one of the most practical books on downsizing I've read. The author not only walks the reader through the decluttering process, but also provides solid examples and even resources that are available to people in the US. While not everything was applicable to my current lifestyle, I have some great tips to keep in my back pocket.
Things I likes about this book:
- It is written with the understanding that Americans, especially American immigrants and the Silent Generation, have a different relationship to memories and things than other nationalities do. There is no one-size fits all solution to decluttering.
- The majority of the author's clients are seniors looking to downsize and move into retirement communities or apartments, but his techniques can be applied to young people looking to move out on their own, downsizing themselves, or dealing with the estate of a loved one.
- Because the author works with elderly homeowners, he is sensitive to the fact that these people lived during a different time, such as the Great Depression, where items weren't in abundance and everything from newspapers to socks had to be stashed away. Their "stuff" may not be valuable, but it is invaluable to them because of the stories and memories it holds
- Not sure what to get your parents or grandparents for their birthday? Paxton suggests giving them an hour or two of your time to sit down and let them tell their stories. Or help them start the decluttering process by driving donations to a center for them.
Useful and Informative, this was a well-Organized decluttering self-help read.
Things I likes about this book:
- It is written with the understanding that Americans, especially American immigrants and the Silent Generation, have a different relationship to memories and things than other nationalities do. There is no one-size fits all solution to decluttering.
- The majority of the author's clients are seniors looking to downsize and move into retirement communities or apartments, but his techniques can be applied to young people looking to move out on their own, downsizing themselves, or dealing with the estate of a loved one.
- Because the author works with elderly homeowners, he is sensitive to the fact that these people lived during a different time, such as the Great Depression, where items weren't in abundance and everything from newspapers to socks had to be stashed away. Their "stuff" may not be valuable, but it is invaluable to them because of the stories and memories it holds
- Not sure what to get your parents or grandparents for their birthday? Paxton suggests giving them an hour or two of your time to sit down and let them tell their stories. Or help them start the decluttering process by driving donations to a center for them.
Useful and Informative, this was a well-Organized decluttering self-help read.
February 6, 2024
Not just for seniors
This book is a good resource for anyone who feels overwhelmed by their “stuff” and wanting to simplify. Whether you are dealing with the passing of a relative or simplifying your own life, the author relates to the idea that getting rid of possessions can be a very emotional journey and it doesn’t happen overnight. The examples sharing how others traveled the journey of decluttering were easy to identify with. The Resources section helps identify types of items that can be sold, donated or just need to go the trash.
This book is a good resource for anyone who feels overwhelmed by their “stuff” and wanting to simplify. Whether you are dealing with the passing of a relative or simplifying your own life, the author relates to the idea that getting rid of possessions can be a very emotional journey and it doesn’t happen overnight. The examples sharing how others traveled the journey of decluttering were easy to identify with. The Resources section helps identify types of items that can be sold, donated or just need to go the trash.
May 26, 2022
Loved it! It was well-written, and made me feel like he was right in the room with me, discussing all that can be done. Explains things thoroughly and honestly. I learned some things I didn't already know, too. Shared a lot with the reader and makes you feel like you can actually accomplish the tasks - IF you decide to do it. I would give the book more than 5 stars if I could. I also love his PBS TV program. (I took my time reading the book, so I could absorb everything it taught. I am sure I'll revisit it again, too.)
April 9, 2022
Matt Paxton's tips on how to let go of the stuff while maintaining the stories and memories about the stuff.
I read this in a day and found some useful hints that will help when my parents move to assisted living in a few months.
I love 'Hoarders' and Matt Paxton is one of my favorite declutterers on that show. He seems like a super nice guy who found his calling to help people dig their way out of material things that drag them down.
I read this in a day and found some useful hints that will help when my parents move to assisted living in a few months.
I love 'Hoarders' and Matt Paxton is one of my favorite declutterers on that show. He seems like a super nice guy who found his calling to help people dig their way out of material things that drag them down.
April 25, 2022
Excellent advice in an easy-to-digest format. He uses case studies to illustrate his points. Unlike other similar books, he acknowledges the emotional aspect and encourages you to utilize the emotional memories to help you declutter and downsize. There are additional resources that were not available as part of the audio book. I highly recommend reading this in the print version rather than listening to it so you can take notes and easily reread sections that particularly speak to you.
April 4, 2022
I'm on my second listen-through of the book because there is so much information that I want to make sure I at least mildly remember ;D
I always appreciate books (or shows, or YouTube videos) that don't treat sentimentality, in and of itself, as a weakness or a sin. This book is written pretty compassionately, with just the right amount of "no-nonsense" where it counts.
I always appreciate books (or shows, or YouTube videos) that don't treat sentimentality, in and of itself, as a weakness or a sin. This book is written pretty compassionately, with just the right amount of "no-nonsense" where it counts.
April 24, 2022
Very readable. In the back are 30 pages of charts and lists of resources, backed up with a website to keep the info current.
April 9, 2025
I’ve read a few books on decluttering, but what I really appreciate about Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff is how the author focuses on the future—whether that means moving to a new home or staying put. As I pack up my house (we’re moving!), I’ve been asking myself, “Do I want this in my new home?” It’s helped me say good-bye to a lot of stuff. I also love that he includes plenty of outside resources to help with the many aspects of moving.
November 28, 2023
Several helpful tips! The audience is more for those going through a passed family member’s things or someone looking to downsize in a move. Still, I’ve taken away the main idea of holding onto the memories that things represent while letting go of the actual stuff.
Read
August 13, 2025DNFing cuz it wasn’t for me but I read most of it so I’m counting it as read lmfao
December 26, 2025
Really helpful tips given with compassion
February 5, 2026
Extremely basic and quite self-indulgent. I’m sure the author has helped many people throughout his career, but this doesn’t feel like a book that needed to be written.
July 31, 2025
Good tips. Read it to help me downsize all the stuff I’ve got from several people I’ve lost this past year and inundated with their estate.
May 1, 2022
This book is especially good for older people seeking to downsize after many years in a bigger home. Also useful for people dealing with their deceased parents' possessions. Has advice applicable to others as well.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 596 reviews