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Was it My Fault?: An Abuse Survivor's Story and Guide for Navigating Narcissistic Red Flags
I’m a survivor. For sixteen long years, I didn’t believe I’d ever get to call myself that. Self-doubt, low self-esteem imposed on me by my abusive, narcissistic ex-husband, and fear held me hostage. I didn’t recognize myself. Hope no longer existed. The stress and strain of just trying to live to see another day took a devastating toll on me physically, emotionally, and financially.
My life was not my own, and I was tired of it. At my core, I knew I had to fight back, but after living in such a toxic environment, I wasn’t sure it would make a difference.
Thankfully, I summoned the courage. Call it dumb luck, an epiphany, or a sheer desire to shield my children from any more trauma, I left. Unfortunately, the abuse didn’t end when I closed that chapter of my life. The next chapter invited a different form of abuse into my life in the form of dubious legal tactics, mean-spirited counter-parenting, battling false parental alienation claims, and harassment replaced the abuse I endured when we lived under the same roof. But, I had changed. Leaving left me feeling more empowered. Slowly, I saw my worth and understood that my freedom from my ex was what I needed to not only survive but thrive.
Was It My Fault? is my story. In it, I share intimate details of my toxic marriage, but more than that, I share my journey out of the depths of despair and how I continue to fight for myself and my children post-separation. It’s my hope that my story will inspire someone who may be in a toxic relationship and feeling like they have no fight left in them to not give up and find a path forward.
My life was not my own, and I was tired of it. At my core, I knew I had to fight back, but after living in such a toxic environment, I wasn’t sure it would make a difference.
Thankfully, I summoned the courage. Call it dumb luck, an epiphany, or a sheer desire to shield my children from any more trauma, I left. Unfortunately, the abuse didn’t end when I closed that chapter of my life. The next chapter invited a different form of abuse into my life in the form of dubious legal tactics, mean-spirited counter-parenting, battling false parental alienation claims, and harassment replaced the abuse I endured when we lived under the same roof. But, I had changed. Leaving left me feeling more empowered. Slowly, I saw my worth and understood that my freedom from my ex was what I needed to not only survive but thrive.
Was It My Fault? is my story. In it, I share intimate details of my toxic marriage, but more than that, I share my journey out of the depths of despair and how I continue to fight for myself and my children post-separation. It’s my hope that my story will inspire someone who may be in a toxic relationship and feeling like they have no fight left in them to not give up and find a path forward.
348 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 30, 2021
5 people are currently reading
27 people want to read
About the author
Alana Sharps
2 books1 followerAlana Sharps is the international bestselling author of the book Was it My Fault - An Abuse Survivor's Story and Guide for Navigating Narcissistic Red Flags.
Her next book, Unbroken Ground: Healing from Hidden Wounds and Building Unshakeable Self-Worth releases November 2025.
Alana was born in Upper Marlboro and now lives in Raleigh with her three children and two dogs.
Alana loves the beach and the mountains and is the shortest member of her family at 5'11.
Her next book, Unbroken Ground: Healing from Hidden Wounds and Building Unshakeable Self-Worth releases November 2025.
Alana was born in Upper Marlboro and now lives in Raleigh with her three children and two dogs.
Alana loves the beach and the mountains and is the shortest member of her family at 5'11.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
January 14, 2023
Eye Opening
I read this in one sitting. I recognised a lot of the behaviours and scenarios detailed in these chapters, and whilst not as extreme, there were some equally frightening moments.
I too clung to the good times, thought I was the problem and refused to accept that change wasn’t possible. It’s difficult to fathom why I flip-flopped for so long now I’m out the other side. This is one book that really does fully explore and detail how a relationship like this can creep up on you without you even realising. Fascinating that they all seem to follow the same hymn sheet too.
I read this in one sitting. I recognised a lot of the behaviours and scenarios detailed in these chapters, and whilst not as extreme, there were some equally frightening moments.
I too clung to the good times, thought I was the problem and refused to accept that change wasn’t possible. It’s difficult to fathom why I flip-flopped for so long now I’m out the other side. This is one book that really does fully explore and detail how a relationship like this can creep up on you without you even realising. Fascinating that they all seem to follow the same hymn sheet too.
May 14, 2022
The author does an amazing job telling her story about living with a narcissist. This book goes well beyond her story. Alana provides sound resources, warning signs of a narcissist, identifying narcissistic behaviors and red flags to be aware of in relationships, and insightful plans for leaving the narcissist Whether you or someone you love is in a narcissistic relationship, I believe you will learn something valuable in her book.
February 3, 2025
A MUST READ! This book sheds light on a complex & often misunderstood form of emotional and psychological abuse.
Was It My Fault by Alana Sharps is a powerful and important read that delves into the complexities of narcissistic abuse. Sharps bravely shares her personal journey, allowing readers to witness the devastating effects of emotional manipulation and control, while also showcasing the strength and resilience it takes to survive and heal from this form of abuse.
What sets this book apart is its raw honesty and clarity in describing the subtle, insidious tactics of narcissistic abusers. Sharps shares difficult truths, and in doing so, provides a voice for those who have felt silenced and confused by the psychological warfare involved in these toxic relationships. Her narrative is heartfelt and relatable, offering validation to survivors while educating others on the signs and dynamics of narcissistic abuse.
This book is a must-read for survivors, advocates, and anyone committed to raising awareness about narcissistic abuse.
— BB Gabriel
(author of ‘No Ordinary Love’ - coming February 12, 2025)
Was It My Fault by Alana Sharps is a powerful and important read that delves into the complexities of narcissistic abuse. Sharps bravely shares her personal journey, allowing readers to witness the devastating effects of emotional manipulation and control, while also showcasing the strength and resilience it takes to survive and heal from this form of abuse.
What sets this book apart is its raw honesty and clarity in describing the subtle, insidious tactics of narcissistic abusers. Sharps shares difficult truths, and in doing so, provides a voice for those who have felt silenced and confused by the psychological warfare involved in these toxic relationships. Her narrative is heartfelt and relatable, offering validation to survivors while educating others on the signs and dynamics of narcissistic abuse.
This book is a must-read for survivors, advocates, and anyone committed to raising awareness about narcissistic abuse.
— BB Gabriel
(author of ‘No Ordinary Love’ - coming February 12, 2025)
October 7, 2025
Brutal, relentless, and difficult to fathom in places.
The author is a former student of mine.
I am proud of the personal & professional progress she has made.
The author is a former student of mine.
I am proud of the personal & professional progress she has made.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews