Dear Men: Masculinity and Modern Love in #MeToo India

by Prachi Gangwani

'I really loved her but I broke up with her because my mother didn't think she would adjust in our family.' – Raul, engineer, 29~'I liked being angry. I wanted to hate the world, be angry, so I didn't have to be sad.' – Dhairya, photographer, 34~'I want a harem. But I want to be the only guy in a woman's life.' – Dushyant, lawyer, 27 In startling, often revelatory interviews Dear Men shows how Indian men across ages navigate romantic relationships in a country that is still teetering on the cusp of modern and traditional. Direct, often tongue-in-cheek, accessible and engaging, the book is an investigation of what sexual boundaries really mean to Indian men, how they deal with online dating, manage traditional gender roles, talk about their mental health, if they think romance is still relevant, what marriage means to them, and why they hurt the women they love. Dear Men hopes to start an honest and open dialogue with Indian men about subjects that are becoming more and more relevant as movements like #MeToo gain traction.

213 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 18, 2021

About the author

Prachi Gangwani is a counselor, yoga teacher and author. She has written for various digital publications include iDiva (Times Internet), DailyO (India Today), SheThePeople and The Swaddle.

Her work, both as a therapist and a writer is focused on the intersection between relationships and mental health.

Reviews

[Mukesh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Indian men are like pressure cookers. With a tight lid and high flame, their emotions simmer inside until they explode... this 'man up' concept actually messes up manhood.

I went into Dear Men with a lot of curiosity. Prachi Gangwani takes on a pretty massive task here: trying to bridge the gap between toxic masculinity and the modern Indian man’s experience. I was hoping for something that felt like a breakthrough conversation.

While there is a lot to appreciate, I walked away feeling like the book was a bit of a mixed bag.

What Worked for Me
I really admire Gangwani for writing this. It’s a brave attempt to speak directly to men about vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and the "Man Box" without being overly preachy.

The Cultural Context: This isn't just a generic self-help book; it is deeply rooted in the Indian experience. She touches on things like the pressure to provide, the role of the "Good Indian Son," and how patriarchy actually hurts men too.

Some of the stories and case studies she shares are genuinely eye-opening. They help humanize the statistics and make the concepts feel real.

Where it Fell a Bit Short
The Pacing/Structure: At times, it felt a little repetitive. I found myself skimming certain sections because the point had already been made several times over.

The Tone: This is where it gets tricky. While it’s titled Dear Men, there were moments where it felt like the book was actually written about men for a female audience, rather than to men. The tone fluctuates between being an empathetic guide and a clinical observation, which might make it harder for the very men who "need" this book to stay engaged.

Depth vs. Breadth: It covers a lot of ground—from dating to fatherhood—but because it tries to cover everything, some of the most complex psychological issues felt a bit "surface-level."

Final Thoughts
Is it worth a read? Yes, especially if you’re just starting to think about how gender roles affect your personal relationships. It’s a solid conversation starter and a necessary addition to the Indian literary space.

However, if you’re looking for a deep, academic dive or a step-by-step psychological roadmap, this might feel a little light. It’s a good 3-star read: impactful and well-meaning, but didn't quite "wow" me.