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You'll Forget This Ever Happened
Told with heart and grit, honesty and wisdom, You'll Forget This Ever Happened is the poignant story not only of Laura Engel, but of thousands of young women in the 1960s who were made to relinquish their newborns simply because there was no ring on their finger. Family secrets and the lifelong damage those secrets caused carries us along unexpected paths in this triumphant story of redemption and forgiveness.
326 pages, Paperback
Published May 10, 2022
102 people are currently reading
1969 people want to read
About the author
Laura L. Engel
2 books43 followersLaura L. Engel, born and raised on the Mississippi Gulf Coast transplanted to San Diego over 50 years ago. She is married to the love of her life, Gene, and the mother of six grown children and an adored golden retriever, Layla Louise. Laura is the proud Grammy of 10 cherished grandchildren.
In 2016 Laura retired from a 35-year career in the corporate world with plans to quietly catch up on hobbies and travels with her husband Gene. In October of that year her plans changed when a miracle happened in her life. She soon found herself busier than ever taking writing classes and writing up a storm about a secret she thought she would take to her grave.
Along with writing her memoir, Laura is the past president of the International Memoir Writers Association and an active member of the International Women Writers Guild. She is also a member of San Diego Writers Ink and San Diego Writers and Editors Guild.
Laura has published many essays in several magazines, along with an essay on writing about trauma in Writers Digest. Scenes from her memoir have been performed live on stage and she has been published in three anthologies.
Today finds Laura fulfilling her life-long dream having written her first book, a memoir she never dreamed she would write, You’ll Forget This Ever Happened -Secrets, Shame, and Adoption in the 1960s published by She Writes Press.
In 2016 Laura retired from a 35-year career in the corporate world with plans to quietly catch up on hobbies and travels with her husband Gene. In October of that year her plans changed when a miracle happened in her life. She soon found herself busier than ever taking writing classes and writing up a storm about a secret she thought she would take to her grave.
Along with writing her memoir, Laura is the past president of the International Memoir Writers Association and an active member of the International Women Writers Guild. She is also a member of San Diego Writers Ink and San Diego Writers and Editors Guild.
Laura has published many essays in several magazines, along with an essay on writing about trauma in Writers Digest. Scenes from her memoir have been performed live on stage and she has been published in three anthologies.
Today finds Laura fulfilling her life-long dream having written her first book, a memoir she never dreamed she would write, You’ll Forget This Ever Happened -Secrets, Shame, and Adoption in the 1960s published by She Writes Press.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 110 reviews
May 19, 2022
I could not put this book down! I was hooked from page one. The author's experiences as an unwed teenage mother in the 1960s leapt off the pages as she describes a very different time for women. I loved the author's expression of her own growth and reflection and ultimately forgiveness. This is a great read for anyone who loves memoirs and even fiction readers who want to get into nonfiction reading.
April 5, 2022
Not too long ago, I saw the movie The Patron Saint of Liars, and then read the novel it was based on by Ann Patchett. It was about a woman from California who goes to an unwed mother’s home in Kentucky to have her baby and give the baby up for adoption. Things don’t go as planned and she ends up keeping her baby. In this memoir, things do go as planned and author Laura Engel doesn’t get to keep hers. The home the author went to was nothing like the home in the movie, either, which was a mansion type in a beautiful rural setting.
Ms. Engel instead went to a not-so-great looking home in New Orleans. But it was clean, a strict nun wasn’t running the place, and the girls had much more freedom to do what they wanted. The writer does an excellent job of not only describing day-to-day life in such a place, but also describing the stigma of being an unwed mother back in the 1960s. She was from Mississippi, too, where life was nowhere near as free as in places like California, where famous unwed mothers like Mama Cass Elliott were having and keeping their babies with no shame.
Shame was a major theme in this story, since the author was drowning in it at times. The shame she brought to her parents and grandmother haunted her day and night. Later, she was then haunted day and night, year after year, by the shame and pain of giving up her baby boy. But this is far from being a totally sad story, and definitely not told in a self-pitying way. It’s written in an captivating creative nonfiction way, too, with lots of dialogue, much like a novel told in a first-person voice. Personally, I have mixed feelings about creative nonfiction, but I can say nothing bad about this most highly readable story.
Well, there was one thing . . . in the epilogue, after everything was going so well and everyone seemed so happy, a shocking thing is announced. It came totally out of the blue, with no forewarning whatsoever, and no possible explanations given for the happening. Maybe the author did not feel like it was her story to tell, maybe she didn’t want to invade the privacy of others. Both understandable, but the reader is certainly left wondering why? Life goes on, though, as it should. If there’s one thing this memoir demonstrates so well it’s that no one’s life is doomed by the opinions of others, or by tragic things that happen. One can make the choice and take action to go forward in life, and experience both happiness and forgiveness.
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the author or publisher.)
Ms. Engel instead went to a not-so-great looking home in New Orleans. But it was clean, a strict nun wasn’t running the place, and the girls had much more freedom to do what they wanted. The writer does an excellent job of not only describing day-to-day life in such a place, but also describing the stigma of being an unwed mother back in the 1960s. She was from Mississippi, too, where life was nowhere near as free as in places like California, where famous unwed mothers like Mama Cass Elliott were having and keeping their babies with no shame.
Shame was a major theme in this story, since the author was drowning in it at times. The shame she brought to her parents and grandmother haunted her day and night. Later, she was then haunted day and night, year after year, by the shame and pain of giving up her baby boy. But this is far from being a totally sad story, and definitely not told in a self-pitying way. It’s written in an captivating creative nonfiction way, too, with lots of dialogue, much like a novel told in a first-person voice. Personally, I have mixed feelings about creative nonfiction, but I can say nothing bad about this most highly readable story.
Well, there was one thing . . . in the epilogue, after everything was going so well and everyone seemed so happy, a shocking thing is announced. It came totally out of the blue, with no forewarning whatsoever, and no possible explanations given for the happening. Maybe the author did not feel like it was her story to tell, maybe she didn’t want to invade the privacy of others. Both understandable, but the reader is certainly left wondering why? Life goes on, though, as it should. If there’s one thing this memoir demonstrates so well it’s that no one’s life is doomed by the opinions of others, or by tragic things that happen. One can make the choice and take action to go forward in life, and experience both happiness and forgiveness.
(Note: I received a free e-ARC of this book from NetGalley and the author or publisher.)
May 24, 2022
Happy Pub Day to this beautiful memoir!
You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is a firsthand account of a young woman’s experience with forced birth and adoption.
Unwed and pregnant in the Deep South in 1967, Laura is sent to a Home, far from the prying eyes of nosy evangelical neighbors, to finish out her pregnancy and deliver her child.
What follows is the memories, both debilitatingly sad and at times uplifting, of the time she spent there. Surrounded by other “fallen girls,” Laura shares the different ways in which they’d found themselves in “this situation” and forms deep friendships in a time of great loneliness.
“No, this is not only my story. There are millions of us.”
This book will make you angry; it will fill you with a white-hot, palpable rage at a society full of adults that allowed countless young girls and women to be neglected, destroyed (emotionally/physically), and forgotten because they’d become pregnant without being married. (While the men who “ruined” them were unscathed.)
According to Engel, “approximately 2.5 million women surrendered their newborns [between 1945 and 1973].” That’s a whole lot of destroyed lives; forcing young girls to give birth to babies and then wrenching them from their arms, forcing them to sign away their legal parental rights, and then sending them on their way to pretend it never occurred.
Laura’s bravery at sharing a story that she was forced to hide for most of her life shows a level of strength and perseverance that I’ll never know.
The fear and anguish of Laura, and the many like her, hits a very raw nerve. This couldn’t come at a better (worse) time; as SCOTUS is attempting to overturn Roe and GOP law makers across the country are readying themselves to mark its reversal with laws making it nearly impossible (if not illegal) to obtain not only abortions, but BIRTH CONTROL and comprehensive Sex Ed.
We will not go quietly back into 1967…we will not allow them to cause emotional scars that ripple through generations. We will stand and fight to protect our rights so hard won by these brave women that came before us.
5⭐️
Thank you @booksforwardpr for the #gifted copy of this extraordinary book!
https://www.instagram.com/p/CdZYfvxrj...
You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is a firsthand account of a young woman’s experience with forced birth and adoption.
Unwed and pregnant in the Deep South in 1967, Laura is sent to a Home, far from the prying eyes of nosy evangelical neighbors, to finish out her pregnancy and deliver her child.
What follows is the memories, both debilitatingly sad and at times uplifting, of the time she spent there. Surrounded by other “fallen girls,” Laura shares the different ways in which they’d found themselves in “this situation” and forms deep friendships in a time of great loneliness.
“No, this is not only my story. There are millions of us.”
This book will make you angry; it will fill you with a white-hot, palpable rage at a society full of adults that allowed countless young girls and women to be neglected, destroyed (emotionally/physically), and forgotten because they’d become pregnant without being married. (While the men who “ruined” them were unscathed.)
According to Engel, “approximately 2.5 million women surrendered their newborns [between 1945 and 1973].” That’s a whole lot of destroyed lives; forcing young girls to give birth to babies and then wrenching them from their arms, forcing them to sign away their legal parental rights, and then sending them on their way to pretend it never occurred.
Laura’s bravery at sharing a story that she was forced to hide for most of her life shows a level of strength and perseverance that I’ll never know.
The fear and anguish of Laura, and the many like her, hits a very raw nerve. This couldn’t come at a better (worse) time; as SCOTUS is attempting to overturn Roe and GOP law makers across the country are readying themselves to mark its reversal with laws making it nearly impossible (if not illegal) to obtain not only abortions, but BIRTH CONTROL and comprehensive Sex Ed.
We will not go quietly back into 1967…we will not allow them to cause emotional scars that ripple through generations. We will stand and fight to protect our rights so hard won by these brave women that came before us.
5⭐️
Thank you @booksforwardpr for the #gifted copy of this extraordinary book!
https://www.instagram.com/p/CdZYfvxrj...
March 27, 2022
I would say it’s normally the book cover that attracts my attention first but it was the title of “You’ll forget this ever happened” that immediately tugged at my heart. I then looked closer at the book cover which has a baby cot card as its centre. Then my attention was drawn to the byline, “Secrets, Shame and Adoption in the 1960’s”.
This book is about and written by Laura Engel at 17 years old and is the eldest and only daughter of Billy and Ann. Laura has two younger brothers, Tommy and Michael whom she cares for regularly. Laura’s grandmother lives nearby and Laura visits her every day. Ann, Laura’s mum is a bit strange in that she will suddenly take herself off to bed and refuse to interact with her family. It’s lucky for Ann & Billy’s children that their grandmother is nearby enough to help out, though Ann hates this fact. Laura has been seeing/dating Clay for a while, and in an effort to keep him from dumping her she sleeps with him. However, when she realises she is pregnant, Clay wants nothing to do with the baby or her anymore. In fact, he actually accuses her of sleeping with someone else, trying to say the baby is not his. Laura does kind of go into denial and tries to hide the fact she is pregnant. This hiding the pregnancy doesn’t last long and she soon finds herself grounded and told to make sure she isn’t seen. Billy contacts Clay who insists he will not marry Laura despite pressure from Billy. As Clay has enlisted in the army, Billy even attempts to get the army to put pressure on him to coerce him in to marrying Laura. It soon becomes apparent that Clay, his family and the army are more than happy to ignore the fact Laura is pregnant with Clay’s baby. The “problem” and possible solutions are left to Laura and her family. Laura thinks of all sorts of scenarios, maybe she could have her baby, then her mum could bring up the baby. Laura knows her mum loves babies and remembers her as always happy when her brothers were babies. So Laura is shocked when her parents take her out on a drive to a place the church has suggested to her grandmother for unwed mothers. The home is in a rather rough part of New Orleans, so much so when the car pulls up, Ann refuses to get out of the car and it is Billy that takes Laura up to the door and inside. They are taken inside by Miss Felton who immediately starts reciting the information about the home for unwed mothers. Though Miss Felton refers to the home as an “institute of mercy” and goes on saying it is also a child rearing institution, and an adoption agency. Miss Felton sings the praises of the home saying the staff are Christian, and there are more than 20 Doctors and interns that provide their services as well as a graduate nurse on duty all the time. Miss Felton also heavily emphasises having an excellent success rate rehabilitating the girls. Laura zones out, she has come to the conclusion she is going to be stuck here until the baby is born anyway. Miss Felton turns her attention to Laura telling her she is doing such a good thing, giving her child a chance of a better life in a good home and parents. It’s then Laura realises she isn’t just at this place to hide whilst she has her baby, and then return home with her baby. Laura is initially stunned that everyone expects her to give away her baby and plans on changing their minds.
Laura enjoys working in the nursery at night with the nurse employed by the home. Laura makes friends with some of the girls and avoids the ones she doesn’t care to associate with.
Laura slips into a routine, just as the other girls do. Sadly, when the time comes Laura has to sign her baby away and she is expected to return home with the cover story of staying with her other grandmother for a while. The baby is not to be mentioned. Laura does manage to sneak back inside the home and the nursery to see her baby one last time and its during this visit that she steals the name label from the cot of her treasured son. This card is the thing she looks at every birthday, Christmas, family event. It’s her one link to her first child. Despite other relationships she never ever forgets her son.
I don’t want to go into anymore detail about the book as I want you all to buy it, or borrow it from the library and read it for yourselves. The book is written as if Laura is sat telling you her story, how events unfolded, her relationship with her parents, before, during and after the birth of her son, their first grandchild. I really liked the description of her “mama whose only nod to makeup Revlon’s bright red Queen of Diamonds lipstick” and the other description referencing Laura imagining her baby as her “tiny tears doll.” In this book you feel like you are on the journey with Laura, experiencing her confusion, disbelief, shock and horror of her boyfriend refusing to marry her, being sent to an unwed mother’s home and having to sign her baby away. Then her sadness, depression and constant pining for her missing child. We also learn about events from the perspective of her son, and that of his adoptive parents. The book is a huge wave of ever-changing emotions and you really do feel like reaching into the book to hug Laura. How times have changed, now young women get to keep their babies and have support to bring them up. In Laura’s era she really didn’t have a choice, or she would have done what one of the other girls in the home did and keep her baby. This other girl had a boyfriend who wanted her and her baby though. Unfortunately, Laura does not have that support. Even when she returns home, life doesn’t really improve for her. Nor does it improve with her marriage, and the children she goes on to have. She loves her children but none of them can replace that place in her heart for her first-born son.
This book certainly makes you wonder how many others are living with this type of heartbreak. I have read other books on the subject, particularly ones where the young mothers are horrifically mistreated. Though I guess you could say, Laura didn’t go through the harshest treatment, she still had her rights removed and was told what she had to do rather than there being support for her to do what she really wanted to do which was to raise her son.
Summing up, this is a heart-breaking but amazing true story of a resilient brave woman!
This book is about and written by Laura Engel at 17 years old and is the eldest and only daughter of Billy and Ann. Laura has two younger brothers, Tommy and Michael whom she cares for regularly. Laura’s grandmother lives nearby and Laura visits her every day. Ann, Laura’s mum is a bit strange in that she will suddenly take herself off to bed and refuse to interact with her family. It’s lucky for Ann & Billy’s children that their grandmother is nearby enough to help out, though Ann hates this fact. Laura has been seeing/dating Clay for a while, and in an effort to keep him from dumping her she sleeps with him. However, when she realises she is pregnant, Clay wants nothing to do with the baby or her anymore. In fact, he actually accuses her of sleeping with someone else, trying to say the baby is not his. Laura does kind of go into denial and tries to hide the fact she is pregnant. This hiding the pregnancy doesn’t last long and she soon finds herself grounded and told to make sure she isn’t seen. Billy contacts Clay who insists he will not marry Laura despite pressure from Billy. As Clay has enlisted in the army, Billy even attempts to get the army to put pressure on him to coerce him in to marrying Laura. It soon becomes apparent that Clay, his family and the army are more than happy to ignore the fact Laura is pregnant with Clay’s baby. The “problem” and possible solutions are left to Laura and her family. Laura thinks of all sorts of scenarios, maybe she could have her baby, then her mum could bring up the baby. Laura knows her mum loves babies and remembers her as always happy when her brothers were babies. So Laura is shocked when her parents take her out on a drive to a place the church has suggested to her grandmother for unwed mothers. The home is in a rather rough part of New Orleans, so much so when the car pulls up, Ann refuses to get out of the car and it is Billy that takes Laura up to the door and inside. They are taken inside by Miss Felton who immediately starts reciting the information about the home for unwed mothers. Though Miss Felton refers to the home as an “institute of mercy” and goes on saying it is also a child rearing institution, and an adoption agency. Miss Felton sings the praises of the home saying the staff are Christian, and there are more than 20 Doctors and interns that provide their services as well as a graduate nurse on duty all the time. Miss Felton also heavily emphasises having an excellent success rate rehabilitating the girls. Laura zones out, she has come to the conclusion she is going to be stuck here until the baby is born anyway. Miss Felton turns her attention to Laura telling her she is doing such a good thing, giving her child a chance of a better life in a good home and parents. It’s then Laura realises she isn’t just at this place to hide whilst she has her baby, and then return home with her baby. Laura is initially stunned that everyone expects her to give away her baby and plans on changing their minds.
Laura enjoys working in the nursery at night with the nurse employed by the home. Laura makes friends with some of the girls and avoids the ones she doesn’t care to associate with.
Laura slips into a routine, just as the other girls do. Sadly, when the time comes Laura has to sign her baby away and she is expected to return home with the cover story of staying with her other grandmother for a while. The baby is not to be mentioned. Laura does manage to sneak back inside the home and the nursery to see her baby one last time and its during this visit that she steals the name label from the cot of her treasured son. This card is the thing she looks at every birthday, Christmas, family event. It’s her one link to her first child. Despite other relationships she never ever forgets her son.
I don’t want to go into anymore detail about the book as I want you all to buy it, or borrow it from the library and read it for yourselves. The book is written as if Laura is sat telling you her story, how events unfolded, her relationship with her parents, before, during and after the birth of her son, their first grandchild. I really liked the description of her “mama whose only nod to makeup Revlon’s bright red Queen of Diamonds lipstick” and the other description referencing Laura imagining her baby as her “tiny tears doll.” In this book you feel like you are on the journey with Laura, experiencing her confusion, disbelief, shock and horror of her boyfriend refusing to marry her, being sent to an unwed mother’s home and having to sign her baby away. Then her sadness, depression and constant pining for her missing child. We also learn about events from the perspective of her son, and that of his adoptive parents. The book is a huge wave of ever-changing emotions and you really do feel like reaching into the book to hug Laura. How times have changed, now young women get to keep their babies and have support to bring them up. In Laura’s era she really didn’t have a choice, or she would have done what one of the other girls in the home did and keep her baby. This other girl had a boyfriend who wanted her and her baby though. Unfortunately, Laura does not have that support. Even when she returns home, life doesn’t really improve for her. Nor does it improve with her marriage, and the children she goes on to have. She loves her children but none of them can replace that place in her heart for her first-born son.
This book certainly makes you wonder how many others are living with this type of heartbreak. I have read other books on the subject, particularly ones where the young mothers are horrifically mistreated. Though I guess you could say, Laura didn’t go through the harshest treatment, she still had her rights removed and was told what she had to do rather than there being support for her to do what she really wanted to do which was to raise her son.
Summing up, this is a heart-breaking but amazing true story of a resilient brave woman!
February 19, 2023
I am blessed to know Laura “in real life” as the young folks say, because we both served (and she still does, as president) on the San Diego Memoir Writers Association (now International Memoir Writers) Board.
Her memoir is deep and dark but filled with introspective wisdom and ever-blooming hope. I loved that the music, food, and fashion details really make the reader feel like they are reminiscing right alongside her. Laura was a guest on Dani Shapiro’s podcast Family Secrets in the episode “The Secret Son” from 2019 which I highly recommend. While the book focuses on losing and later reconnecting with her son, I also found Laura’s insight into romantic relationships to be quite poignant as well.
Her memoir is deep and dark but filled with introspective wisdom and ever-blooming hope. I loved that the music, food, and fashion details really make the reader feel like they are reminiscing right alongside her. Laura was a guest on Dani Shapiro’s podcast Family Secrets in the episode “The Secret Son” from 2019 which I highly recommend. While the book focuses on losing and later reconnecting with her son, I also found Laura’s insight into romantic relationships to be quite poignant as well.
May 15, 2022
In You'll Forget This Ever Happened, first-time author Laura L. Engel chronicles her bittersweet story about giving up her baby boy in the late 1960s in the Deep South. She reflects on this time from the discovery that she was pregnant by her on-and-off boyfriend and how she was sent away to a home for unwed women. Then she discusses her time after the birth of her child and how it affected most of her life.
This book is so thoughtful and heartfelt as you go on the journey with the author. You'll feel the shame and guilt she feels, you'll experience how she interacts and deals with her family and their actions, and how she harbors this terrible secret for years. It feels like a good friend expressing a hard time that she never meant to let out but has to or she'll explode. And the pop culture touchstones really reflect the times so well.
Even though these events happened a little more than 50 years ago, it's amazing how the reputation of single mothers and unwed mothers has changed so dramatically, It's absolutely shameful how society made these women feel at the time instead of helping them and that the men and boys never had to deal with any type of reputation damage. Believe me, you will get frustrated and even angry with some people in her circle.
While I don't think problems have been resolved completely in these matters, it's a relief that getting pregnant before marriage is not considered so detrimental to a woman even if she doesn't remain with the man. And women are not separated from their children if they choose, and many even engage in open adoptions.
Getting back to the book, the author depicts pregnancy and the feelings afterward so well. If you're a mom yourself, it may resonate with you, especially the feelings you have about your unborn baby and how you feel physically and somewhat mentally afterward. Some depictions of the birth and aftermath are not for the faint of heart.
I'm happy that the book also covers the author's life after these torrid events. Although she experiences plenty of more hurt, she also summons so much strength to get through so much. She's an inspiration to women with her ability to adapt to many situations and come out even better than before. Many surprising events occur in her life after her boy "Jamie" is born--some that even shocked me.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book, and I don't think you have to be a mom to understand the pain that the author experienced. It's just a good story.
Thank you, She Writes Press, for an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review! It was a pleasure!
This book is so thoughtful and heartfelt as you go on the journey with the author. You'll feel the shame and guilt she feels, you'll experience how she interacts and deals with her family and their actions, and how she harbors this terrible secret for years. It feels like a good friend expressing a hard time that she never meant to let out but has to or she'll explode. And the pop culture touchstones really reflect the times so well.
Even though these events happened a little more than 50 years ago, it's amazing how the reputation of single mothers and unwed mothers has changed so dramatically, It's absolutely shameful how society made these women feel at the time instead of helping them and that the men and boys never had to deal with any type of reputation damage. Believe me, you will get frustrated and even angry with some people in her circle.
While I don't think problems have been resolved completely in these matters, it's a relief that getting pregnant before marriage is not considered so detrimental to a woman even if she doesn't remain with the man. And women are not separated from their children if they choose, and many even engage in open adoptions.
Getting back to the book, the author depicts pregnancy and the feelings afterward so well. If you're a mom yourself, it may resonate with you, especially the feelings you have about your unborn baby and how you feel physically and somewhat mentally afterward. Some depictions of the birth and aftermath are not for the faint of heart.
I'm happy that the book also covers the author's life after these torrid events. Although she experiences plenty of more hurt, she also summons so much strength to get through so much. She's an inspiration to women with her ability to adapt to many situations and come out even better than before. Many surprising events occur in her life after her boy "Jamie" is born--some that even shocked me.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book, and I don't think you have to be a mom to understand the pain that the author experienced. It's just a good story.
Thank you, She Writes Press, for an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for an honest review! It was a pleasure!
May 18, 2022
Yall, this is a tough one. It's a memoir about Laura's days as a young woman navigating a teenage pregnancy, an unwed mother's home, and the adoption that followed. She's a very talented writer of her story, though it definitely reads as a memoir, not a novel. It's clear that her past has made her who she is today. Her younger self desperately wanted to keep her son, and walking away from him was an incredibly hard decision for her that she wrestled with throughout her life. I can only imagine what she went through. Thank you, Laura, for sharing your story. I laughed and cried along with you while reading. I hope you're well. Thank you also to Books Forward for my Advance Reader Copy and letting me be a part of this book release. With all the news lately, we need a story of unconditional love right now. #bookstagram #RebeccaReviewedIt
June 8, 2022
“You’ll Forget This Every Happened” by Laura L. Engel is a vital, stunning read for all, and especially for members of the adoption triad. Engel places us front row at the heart of crisis and tension from the get-go on page 1, where we meet a pregnant teen on lockdown in her bedroom arguing with her mother. Engel maintains this pace of intensity in beautiful spare chapters that cut right to the chase and through which we experience every aspect of the emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual trauma young Laura suffers when she’s shipped off to a “home” for the duration of her pregnancy and ultimately forced to give up her infant for adoption.
Because not everyone is able to locate or connect with their birth parent/s, this story has the potential to offer vicarious healing to adoptees, as well as offering healing to birth mothers who were forced to give up their babies (other mothers who didn’t have the opportunity to break the wall of silence and shame to share their stories). Told with a loving eye cast back across five decades, this book gives us not only teen Laura’s point of view, but the point of view of the older Laura who strives to reach back in time to love and accept her young, confused, frightened teen self. Read to discover answers to questions such as: How does she learn to love again? To trust? To muster the willingness to marry? To open her heart so she can raise other children? This book is a beautiful gift for a society recovering from this devastating aspect of our shared history, a society that still needs to understand how not to repeat the mistakes of the past. I am profoundly grateful this book exists. How powerful “You’ll Forget This Ever Happened” will be as a book club choice for all.
Because not everyone is able to locate or connect with their birth parent/s, this story has the potential to offer vicarious healing to adoptees, as well as offering healing to birth mothers who were forced to give up their babies (other mothers who didn’t have the opportunity to break the wall of silence and shame to share their stories). Told with a loving eye cast back across five decades, this book gives us not only teen Laura’s point of view, but the point of view of the older Laura who strives to reach back in time to love and accept her young, confused, frightened teen self. Read to discover answers to questions such as: How does she learn to love again? To trust? To muster the willingness to marry? To open her heart so she can raise other children? This book is a beautiful gift for a society recovering from this devastating aspect of our shared history, a society that still needs to understand how not to repeat the mistakes of the past. I am profoundly grateful this book exists. How powerful “You’ll Forget This Ever Happened” will be as a book club choice for all.
May 19, 2022
What a gut wrenching memoir. Laura was an unwed pregnant teenager in the 1960’s. When the father refused to marry her or be supportive of the pregnancy her parents sent her to a home for unwed mothers in New Orleans. Here the girls agree that in exchange for staying there they would give their babies up for adoption. Laura desperately wanted to keep her baby but her parents wouldn’t allow it. What a terrible time in the 1960’s with what these girls went through and the shame and stigma toward them. Laura always regretted giving up her baby and it caused her such anguish! She went on to have more children and was such an amazing mother. She was raised by a cold and emotionally unavailable mother so it was so incredible to see how her parenting was so different. 50 years later she was finally reunited with her son. It was a wonderful time in her life and she developed a great relationship with him. This was such an honest and raw memoir. At times it was so heartbreaking. What a strong and resilient person Laura is with all that she has lived through. Such an important and timely memoir as we all know women are still fighting for their rights. It was enlightening to learn what really went on in these homes and to see how women in general were viewed in the 1960’s. If you love memoirs add this one to your must read list.
June 7, 2022
Laura Engel shares the story of her secret son given up for adoption against her wishes as a young seventeen-year old in the late 1960s. Her page-turning memoir vividly describes her journey after discovering herself pregnant. After a "shotgun" wedding ploy to her boyfriend who has enlisted in the Army doesn't work, her parents take her to an unwed mothers home in New Orleans. Engel brings us into her world and her colorful mates awaiting their due dates with vibrant detail. She continues to present day with the impact on her and her family's lives and eventually her adoptive son who finds her.
If you ever wondered what happened to that high school classmate who got into "trouble" and was sent away or you are adopted, pick up this insightful memoir to learn more about the strife and struggles of an unwed mother during this time. You'll laugh and cry and cry some more.
If you ever wondered what happened to that high school classmate who got into "trouble" and was sent away or you are adopted, pick up this insightful memoir to learn more about the strife and struggles of an unwed mother during this time. You'll laugh and cry and cry some more.
June 20, 2022
This heart-wrenching memoir brings the reader back to the South of the 1960s when being unwed and pregnant brought shame not only to a woman but also to her family and community. Forced to give up her child for adoption, the author carries the memories and birth card of her infant son with her for decades, wondering where he is and hoping against hope she will see him again someday. Told with honesty and filled with compassion, this book will stay with you long after you finish the last page. Highly recommend.
February 21, 2023
I loved this book! By the end, I was holding back tears, and a lump had formed in my throat. The author shares her painful so beautifully. I highly recommend it, especially for those dealing with family grief, because a book like this helps us process our own trauma. As a bonus, we get to learn about others’ lives through their courage, and it helps us build compassion and courage for the difficult times we inevitably must face. Bravo to Laura Engel for this intimate, heart-heavy, and truthful account of what she endured.
December 22, 2021
This book is the reason I read. I couldn't put it down and when I did, it stayed with me. You'll Forget This Ever Happened is an incredible story beautifully told. Highly recommend.
May 14, 2022
A heart-wrenching memoir, this is an account written 50 years later reflecting on the authors time as a scared 17-year-old unwed girl in the 1960’s. Pregnant and deserted by her boyfriend, the family thought to hide her shame as she was force to go to home for unwed mothers in New Orleans where she would give birth and then give her baby up for adoption. This was the standard in the day, with little support for women in this situation. Unwed mothers were ostracized while the men went on with their lives, and told to just forget all about it after they give birth so that they can return to their life before as they knew it. Laura, who had a fractured relationship with her mother, struggled all her life with the guilt and loss of her baby boy Jaimie. Laura, just 4 months after returning home from the Home, ran away to California and married a musician, giving birth to three more boys. While still doubting herself and insecure, that abusive marriage didn’t last more than 10 years. Fortunately, Laura met Gene, a compassionate man and the love of her life and blended her family, finally living her life of promise and hope. It was only as an adult, late in life, could she come with to terms to forgive her young self and realize that by consenting to adoption, she chose love for her son as she was too young to raise him. She chose to write this memoir to tell her story that she thought she would never share.
A personal journey, the author’s writing style transports you to that time and into her world so that you can feel her struggles and pain and her joys. As a memoir, we only see how this event in her life affected her, not her parents or brothers or the baby who was adopted, and for this we need to keep that in mind. Enlightening read, some things are detailed while other recollections are rushed or untold. A surprise ending, which I didn’t see coming and added some confusion as there was no hints or reasons for it. Sorry, not going to give it away, but it's worth the read.
Many thanks to #netgalley #lauraengel #you’llforgetthiseverhappened for the opportunity to read and review this book.
A personal journey, the author’s writing style transports you to that time and into her world so that you can feel her struggles and pain and her joys. As a memoir, we only see how this event in her life affected her, not her parents or brothers or the baby who was adopted, and for this we need to keep that in mind. Enlightening read, some things are detailed while other recollections are rushed or untold. A surprise ending, which I didn’t see coming and added some confusion as there was no hints or reasons for it. Sorry, not going to give it away, but it's worth the read.
Many thanks to #netgalley #lauraengel #you’llforgetthiseverhappened for the opportunity to read and review this book.
May 30, 2022
You will not soon forget this remarkable, beautifully-written, and gripping book. Laura Engel dives deep into her memories of the summer of 1967 when—at seventeen, pregnant, and full of shame—she is sent to a home for unwed mothers in New Orleans, where she is forced to relinquish her baby boy. Engel’s writing is so evocative, the reader is right there with her all the way. This is the story of the deepest kind of love, about never forgetting, and about ultimate redemption. Highly recommended for anyone who has ever loved and lost—which is just about everyone.
May 8, 2022
The title is the pithy statement countless unwed mothers were told by the homes they were sent to due to their pregnancies over 50 years ago. Times were very different. Pregnant girls were a source of shame and embarrassment and had to deal with the consequences while the rat boys had the luxury of walking away.
Such is the story of Laura Engel. It’s an engrossing, gut wrenching read. She does have a dream come true reunion with her firstborn, but there’s a shocking conclusion, which knocked me sideways.
It’s a timely read for so many reasons.
Thanks to She Writes Press and NetGalley for the advance read.
Such is the story of Laura Engel. It’s an engrossing, gut wrenching read. She does have a dream come true reunion with her firstborn, but there’s a shocking conclusion, which knocked me sideways.
It’s a timely read for so many reasons.
Thanks to She Writes Press and NetGalley for the advance read.
April 5, 2022
Thank God times have changed. Laura Engel tells her story of becoming pregnant in the 60s when being pregnant and unmarried was a brand placed on the young woman who was then treated by family and society as a murderer. Place that young woman in the South, and it was worse.
When her family turns their back on her and she wanted nothing more than to love and raise her child, she is forced into an adoption situation. Laura tells in detail about her time in a home for unwed mothers, the birth and adoption of her son, and the years that followed, every day thinking about the son she was forced to give away.
A well-written story that takes you into the home for unwed mothers, and the heart of a mother forced to do something she viewed as unsurvivable.
When her family turns their back on her and she wanted nothing more than to love and raise her child, she is forced into an adoption situation. Laura tells in detail about her time in a home for unwed mothers, the birth and adoption of her son, and the years that followed, every day thinking about the son she was forced to give away.
A well-written story that takes you into the home for unwed mothers, and the heart of a mother forced to do something she viewed as unsurvivable.
May 21, 2022
A beautiful book written with honesty, compassion and empathy. Laura has captured through her own experience the essence of what it was like to be an unwed pregnant young girl determined to keep her child yet knowing she could not. Heartbreaking, emotional, and incredibly difficult to read sometimes. A story that had to be told, but only by the woman who wrote it. Thank you Laura for telling a story so many are not brave enough to share yet. Hopefully your strength will encourage others to share the secret and release the shame they have carried throughout their lifetime.
May 18, 2022
Laura L. Engel is a gifted author who shares her poignant, heart wrenching story in her new memoir "You'll Forget This Ever Happened". Laura, coerced by her parents into giving up her newborn son to adoption, circa 1967, has a magnificent way of describing the highs and lows of her life in Mississippi as well as in New Orleans (at the home for unwed mothers). She tells of her shame, family dysfunction, abandonment by her son's birth father, marital discord in her first marriage, new second chance at lasting love and much more. Laura conveys so many emotions-joy, hope, loss, grief, anger and resolution. This book tugged at my heartstrings. A must read.
May 23, 2022
Introspective and immersive, You’ll Forget This Ever Happened recounts the author’s experience navigating pregnancy in the 1960s south. With an easygoing writing style, it’s as if author Laura Engel wraps her arm around your shoulder to share the intimate experiences of fear and shame of an unplanned pregnancy. This memoir is the emotional story of a mother's eternal love for the baby she was forced to give away for adoption. It is a testament to how child relinquishment haunts a woman’s life no matter how much outside forces want her to forget.
Laura, immature and naive, is drawn by the lures of love and lust, like many of us at that age, but her crime was she got caught. The reader watches as Laura contends with disapproving parents and societal expectations. In the end, I’m not sure what is worse: the judgment of her parents or her own internal critic.
As a first/birth mother, I could intimately relate to this story. The message that “if you cared about this child, you’d give him away” was just as pervasive in the 90s as in the 60s. So, too, the relentless messages regarding one’s worthiness to become a parent echoed over time and space into my heart. The fact that the author wasn’t bitter – she’d consented to premarital sex – and therefore couldn’t ‘complain’ also struck a chord, as did the everlasting longing for her son once her parental rights were relinquished. The fact that no one in her family would talk about her experience or her absent son and that it was as if “the secret was even a secret between us” resonated deeply. And I could also intimately relate to the complicated feelings she experienced once she reunited with her son: relief and jealousy upon learning that his adoptive parents had given him everything he could have ever wanted, everything that she couldn’t.
I highly recommend this book to mental health workers, counselors, and therapists who would benefit from Laura Engel’s insights into the lived experience of a birth mother. At the same time, members of the adoption constellation will find pieces of their lives reflected in Engel’s words, and perhaps, like me, they will find solace.
Laura, immature and naive, is drawn by the lures of love and lust, like many of us at that age, but her crime was she got caught. The reader watches as Laura contends with disapproving parents and societal expectations. In the end, I’m not sure what is worse: the judgment of her parents or her own internal critic.
As a first/birth mother, I could intimately relate to this story. The message that “if you cared about this child, you’d give him away” was just as pervasive in the 90s as in the 60s. So, too, the relentless messages regarding one’s worthiness to become a parent echoed over time and space into my heart. The fact that the author wasn’t bitter – she’d consented to premarital sex – and therefore couldn’t ‘complain’ also struck a chord, as did the everlasting longing for her son once her parental rights were relinquished. The fact that no one in her family would talk about her experience or her absent son and that it was as if “the secret was even a secret between us” resonated deeply. And I could also intimately relate to the complicated feelings she experienced once she reunited with her son: relief and jealousy upon learning that his adoptive parents had given him everything he could have ever wanted, everything that she couldn’t.
I highly recommend this book to mental health workers, counselors, and therapists who would benefit from Laura Engel’s insights into the lived experience of a birth mother. At the same time, members of the adoption constellation will find pieces of their lives reflected in Engel’s words, and perhaps, like me, they will find solace.
March 17, 2022
A wonderfully powerful memoir from an incredibly positive and inspiring woman. Laura's story is one that needs to be shared!
December 25, 2022
I must begin by saying I am ever so grateful that the current social status of this book’s situation has changed considerably. However, since I am the same age as its author, I remember vividly just how young unwed, pregnant girls were treated in the 1950/1960’s. If young woman didn’t marry the young man involved, she was subjected to an uncomfortable journey to a home for unwed mothers. This book resurfaced sad and often difficult memories I had long put aside. As a young woman of the 50/60’s, I was raised in a family that was deeply touched by this same subject. I am well-aware of trials and tribulations the surrounds an unwed young mother. In my family’s case it took many hours/days of deeply distressing discussions, many heated arguments between the unwed mother and her boyfriend, constant bickering between the mother and her daughter, and finally it settled down when the young couple married. Together they have not only raised the baby in question but three beautiful other children. This was not the norm for such cases; this couple now have been married for sixty plus years. Back then, an excessive amount of young, unwed mothers like Laura were forced into making the choice with no options. I could not help but feel Laura’s sorrow as she lived holding this secret in for decades of her life. I enjoyed reading Laura's story and I thank her for providing her readers an honest rendering of her heart wrenching experience. It should mandatory reading for every young woman as part of her sex education course in school.
June 2, 2022
This is a story that will captivate you, break your heart, and remind you what it means to love deeply and unconditionally. Laura Engel is a young, naive teenager who, when she gets pregnant (so naive, she's not even sure she is pregnant), she's shamed, shunned, and forced to leave her family to live in an "unwed mother's home" that teaches their young charges to "pray for forgiveness for their sins." Except for the other girls at the home and one kindly, non-judgmental nurse, Laura has no one on her side...except us. Readers who will hold her in our hearts as she endures the pain of living in exile and being forced to give her baby up for adoption, denied of ever seeing him again. We readers will share the heartbreak, and keep reading because this story is so well told, so beautifully written, and so deeply honest.
This book is an example of why memoirs are so popular now, why they are so well received, why we read them and tell others about them. This book shows us why stories matter and how they connect us as human beings. It's what we need; what we have always needed.
This book is an example of why memoirs are so popular now, why they are so well received, why we read them and tell others about them. This book shows us why stories matter and how they connect us as human beings. It's what we need; what we have always needed.
June 9, 2022
MASTERFULLY-CRAFTED MEMOIR! Let your heart guide you through this harrowing journey.
WOW. I am a slow reader and I flew through this in 2 days. This was a stunner. Exquisitely heartbreaking. The author's beginning was a harrowing one. Filled with insecurity, instability, shame, and crippling fear. She gives us a bird's eye view of what life was like as an unwed teenager living in the South USA in the 1960s. Such perseverance in the face of so much adversity with NO help from the adults in her life. I felt both her pain and triumph as the tears trickled from my eyes as I tried to read the last few pages. Brace yourself for the unexpected. So many beautiful moments captured, and some that will leave you gasping for air. God bless this beautiful author, mother, wife, grandmother, and daughter. She is the type of heroine who gives me hope and courage to face whatever life may have in store.
WOW. I am a slow reader and I flew through this in 2 days. This was a stunner. Exquisitely heartbreaking. The author's beginning was a harrowing one. Filled with insecurity, instability, shame, and crippling fear. She gives us a bird's eye view of what life was like as an unwed teenager living in the South USA in the 1960s. Such perseverance in the face of so much adversity with NO help from the adults in her life. I felt both her pain and triumph as the tears trickled from my eyes as I tried to read the last few pages. Brace yourself for the unexpected. So many beautiful moments captured, and some that will leave you gasping for air. God bless this beautiful author, mother, wife, grandmother, and daughter. She is the type of heroine who gives me hope and courage to face whatever life may have in store.
February 21, 2022
You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is gripping and well written and I thoroughly enjoyed it. The sweet, loving, Laura is side swiped by life when she gets pregnant and left by the boy. It is not a unique story, but it is a heartbreaking one - every time it happens! What happens next in Laura’s story is also typical and not typical. I grieve for the women who are forced to live with the choices made alone and young. In general, my beef is with the men who leave the women to deal with all these issues by themselves. Why don’t we hold the men accountable? The ending of Laura’s book is worth the read because her determination, grit, love, and faith are admirable and genuine. Don’t miss this book!
June 1, 2024
Laura’s story gripped me, from the first minute and moment she shared. Her chilling reciting of the repeated words, “You’ll Forget this Ever Happened”, instantly took hold. This very phrase had actually been revealed, recounted and relived a few years prior, by a birth mother in my family, willing and wanting to tell her own story. When I heard it that first, and every time since, incredulity and shock still reside in my heart. My introduction, to Laura, was actually through a birth mother podcast, aired on Mother’s Day weekend, in honor of, “Birth Mother’s Day”. Feeling inclined, I reached out to her, as she had encouraged listeners, esp adoptees, like myself, to do. We exchanged a few emails and felt an immediate, trusting connection of sister and motherhood, above and beyond our adoption thread. Experiencing recent biological family reunion, and being an avid reader, I’ve become especially interested in memoirs and adoptee-related books and stories, particularly of The Baby Scoop Era. The day I received Laura’s book, I enthusiastically and a bit anxiously jumped right in. I’m not sure what I expected, but from the first page, I was completely pulled into the 1960s, where I discovered the title of, “Unwed Mother’s Home”, ironically striped mothers of their motherhood, dignity, and actual home. Laura’s style, the imagery, the dialogue, allusions to the music and times, people’s mannerisms, along with the descriptions and details of her experiences as a young girl, in the South, pregnant and turned away, left me speechless, in awe, angry, confused, inspired, and every other gamut of emotions. I found myself cheering and hoping for her and all the girls, even though I knew…this “home”, their parents and families forced them to, meant the inevitable outcome for most of them—separation, from their babies. The drudgery and day-to-day existence they lived, didn’t seem much like living, to me. But, many seemed to try to make it through, best they could. Others were cliquish and a bit outrageous in their behavior … But. No one, “in charge”, seemed to care, either way, except on Sunday chapel mornings.
Most of the young girls there, simply needed love and reassurance, guidance with mentorship and assistance. They received very little of any of that, and were basically stripped of their rights to their children.
This memoir perfectly but painfully illustrates, that many young and frightened mothers were told they were, “Doing the right thing.”, all while being harshly judged, pushed and pressured to, “Do the right thing.”, while simultaneously being told they had done the very bad and wrong things… !!!
Laura takes us on her journey, trusting us as readers, with very intimate and private details of the hardest story of her life, giving birth to and leaving behind her secret son. She later, had 3 sons, that she loved fully and deeply but felt she could never reveal her secret; she was actually the mother of 4. Never imagining reunion with her first son, she named Jamie, this mother had a piece of their joined lives always, with her—a secret box, holding his treasured crib card. Praying over his life and well-being, hoping he was alright, and often imagining him, through the different decades and stages of life was the closest they could be.
This memoir was very hard for me to put down, yet as I neared closer and closer to, “the end”, I realized that I was purposely putting off the inevitable—I was closing in on the final chapters. I struggled to see it end, knowing and recognizing the truth. Literally millions of women could share of their similar heartache; their time outcast from their families, often time the fathers, society and the separation of mother and child. None of them, regardless of how well or not-so-well lives were lived, have forgotten this ever happened.
Most of the young girls there, simply needed love and reassurance, guidance with mentorship and assistance. They received very little of any of that, and were basically stripped of their rights to their children.
This memoir perfectly but painfully illustrates, that many young and frightened mothers were told they were, “Doing the right thing.”, all while being harshly judged, pushed and pressured to, “Do the right thing.”, while simultaneously being told they had done the very bad and wrong things… !!!
Laura takes us on her journey, trusting us as readers, with very intimate and private details of the hardest story of her life, giving birth to and leaving behind her secret son. She later, had 3 sons, that she loved fully and deeply but felt she could never reveal her secret; she was actually the mother of 4. Never imagining reunion with her first son, she named Jamie, this mother had a piece of their joined lives always, with her—a secret box, holding his treasured crib card. Praying over his life and well-being, hoping he was alright, and often imagining him, through the different decades and stages of life was the closest they could be.
This memoir was very hard for me to put down, yet as I neared closer and closer to, “the end”, I realized that I was purposely putting off the inevitable—I was closing in on the final chapters. I struggled to see it end, knowing and recognizing the truth. Literally millions of women could share of their similar heartache; their time outcast from their families, often time the fathers, society and the separation of mother and child. None of them, regardless of how well or not-so-well lives were lived, have forgotten this ever happened.
April 2, 2024
My review will be biased because this author forever changed my life. She was speaking at a local writers event and was the first "birthmother" I ever met in person. I am an adopted person from the same era, which I now know is called the "Baby Scoop" era.
Hearing this author made me question my own beliefs as well as what I'd been told about my own adoption, which was practically nothing as my records were sealed and my adoptive parents didn't even know my first mother had been in an Unwed Mother's Maternity Home. I searched and found answers to lifelong questions because of this author. So, to me it wasn't just about the book. And yet, isn't that also the mark of a great book, and an important story.
As for the actual content/writing:
This is a memoir, filled with both happy and tragic moments. Told from the perspective of the author at various ages and stages of her life. The voice rings true from start to finish. This is a book you crawl inside and live in, immersed in the time and place and space of it all. It's a book you breathe.
This is a story of so many young women in a time when women had so little rights, including not even having the right to parent. It is a story that is an important and often overlooked part of women's history in many countries, including the USA. It is history that needs to be told in a climate that is still keeping many women from the right to choose and even still to choose to parent (follow this up with Gretchen Sisson's book, Relinquished for the modern 2000s version). It's timeless and timely.
You'll Forget This Ever Happened is both heartbreaking and heart-warming. It's shame and redemption and a woman forgiving herself for things she should've never taken the blame for.
This book changed everything for me, but hey, it's also just a great immersive read. Great voice. Great writing. Compulsively readable. And absolutely important.
Hearing this author made me question my own beliefs as well as what I'd been told about my own adoption, which was practically nothing as my records were sealed and my adoptive parents didn't even know my first mother had been in an Unwed Mother's Maternity Home. I searched and found answers to lifelong questions because of this author. So, to me it wasn't just about the book. And yet, isn't that also the mark of a great book, and an important story.
As for the actual content/writing:
This is a memoir, filled with both happy and tragic moments. Told from the perspective of the author at various ages and stages of her life. The voice rings true from start to finish. This is a book you crawl inside and live in, immersed in the time and place and space of it all. It's a book you breathe.
This is a story of so many young women in a time when women had so little rights, including not even having the right to parent. It is a story that is an important and often overlooked part of women's history in many countries, including the USA. It is history that needs to be told in a climate that is still keeping many women from the right to choose and even still to choose to parent (follow this up with Gretchen Sisson's book, Relinquished for the modern 2000s version). It's timeless and timely.
You'll Forget This Ever Happened is both heartbreaking and heart-warming. It's shame and redemption and a woman forgiving herself for things she should've never taken the blame for.
This book changed everything for me, but hey, it's also just a great immersive read. Great voice. Great writing. Compulsively readable. And absolutely important.
June 29, 2023
Laura Engles' memoir on adoption in the 60s in the South is a profound and poignant exploration of the human experience, weaving a captivating narrative of love, loss, and the journey of self-discovery. From the moment I opened its pages, I was completely immersed in Engles' heartfelt story, and her constant longing for the child she is forced to give up.
Engles' writing is both lyrical and honest, painting vivid pictures of the time and place she grew up in. With exquisite attention to detail, she effortlessly transports readers to the 1960s South, skillfully capturing the nuances of the era, the societal expectations, and the struggles faced by individuals touched by adoption. The authenticity of her voice lends credence to the emotional weight carried by every page.
Engles fearlessly explores the depths of her own emotions and confronts the challenges and heartaches that come with the search for one's roots. Her vulnerability shines through, creating a connection that allows readers to empathize with her journey and reflect on their own experiences of love, loss, and self-discovery.
Engles' portrayal of the adoptive mother-son relationship is equally poignant. She beautifully captures the unconditional love, the profound bond, and the intertwining of lives that transcends biology. It serves as a testament to the power of family, in all its forms, to shape and enrich our lives..
This will leave a lasting impression on readers. It is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the complexities of our identities, and the transformative power of love.
Engles' writing is both lyrical and honest, painting vivid pictures of the time and place she grew up in. With exquisite attention to detail, she effortlessly transports readers to the 1960s South, skillfully capturing the nuances of the era, the societal expectations, and the struggles faced by individuals touched by adoption. The authenticity of her voice lends credence to the emotional weight carried by every page.
Engles fearlessly explores the depths of her own emotions and confronts the challenges and heartaches that come with the search for one's roots. Her vulnerability shines through, creating a connection that allows readers to empathize with her journey and reflect on their own experiences of love, loss, and self-discovery.
Engles' portrayal of the adoptive mother-son relationship is equally poignant. She beautifully captures the unconditional love, the profound bond, and the intertwining of lives that transcends biology. It serves as a testament to the power of family, in all its forms, to shape and enrich our lives..
This will leave a lasting impression on readers. It is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, the complexities of our identities, and the transformative power of love.
August 29, 2025
This is a gripping, unforgettable memoir. I read a lot, and few books I’ve read have impacted me as strongly as this one. I was glued to it every spare second from the moment I started it until I turned the last page. Laura Engel’s story about becoming pregnant as a Mississippi teenager in the early Sixties, then being relentlessly shamed, forced into a home for unwed mothers, and bullied into giving away her baby is both heart-wrenching and brilliantly told.
You are with Engle every emotional step of the way as she skillfully recounts the pain and shame and abandonment she suffered during a time when young girls who became pregnant out of wedlock were treated like lepers and criminals. There is great detail here—about her family (especially her very difficult, unstable mother), her relationship with the boy who betrayed her, her life in the home for unwed mothers, the birth of her son and agony of giving him away, and about living with the aftermath of what she’d done.
You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is a mesmerizing memoir, but it’s also important history, because it’s not just the experience of one woman. Some variation of Engel’s story has probably happened to hundreds of thousands of powerless young women, to say nothing of the children they were forced to give away.
I simply can’t recommend this book more highly. It’s riveting, it’s important, and it’s beautifully told. I read tons of books, and many...after a couple of months, they’re gone from my memory. But this one? No. This one I will never forget. Ever.
You are with Engle every emotional step of the way as she skillfully recounts the pain and shame and abandonment she suffered during a time when young girls who became pregnant out of wedlock were treated like lepers and criminals. There is great detail here—about her family (especially her very difficult, unstable mother), her relationship with the boy who betrayed her, her life in the home for unwed mothers, the birth of her son and agony of giving him away, and about living with the aftermath of what she’d done.
You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is a mesmerizing memoir, but it’s also important history, because it’s not just the experience of one woman. Some variation of Engel’s story has probably happened to hundreds of thousands of powerless young women, to say nothing of the children they were forced to give away.
I simply can’t recommend this book more highly. It’s riveting, it’s important, and it’s beautifully told. I read tons of books, and many...after a couple of months, they’re gone from my memory. But this one? No. This one I will never forget. Ever.
October 7, 2022
You’ll Forget This Ever Happened: Secrets, Shame, and Adoption in the 1960s by Laura L. Engel
In this brave and stunningly honest account of giving away her baby son in July 1967, the author retells her harrowing experience as a 17 year-old “unwed mother”, the term used for girls and women who were not married but pregnant. “I was finding a voice for that broken and silenced seventeen year old girl,” Laura Engel realizes towards the end of her memoir.
In this post-Dobbs America we see here the cost that 2.5 million women had to bear—oftentimes without the support of family or the biological father—in choosing between their motherhood and acceptance by family and society at large. As a woman who had two abortions, I had no idea of the remembrance of things past that so many of us had to endure who chose adoption. Secrets must be told and there are so many still left unsaid.
You’ll Forget This Ever Happened is a story that all of us need to read: a story of self-realization, forgiveness, and letting go. One woman’s story left an indelible impression on this reader! Can’t wait for more of her writing!
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