Sibling Abuse: Hidden Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Trauma

by Vernon R. Wiehe

Often excused by parents as `kids will be kids′ behaviour, sibling abuse remains largely unrecognized. Symptoms of such abuse and its devastating effects on victims go undetected, victims do not receive appropriate therapeutic intervention, and transgressors do not come to the attention of the courts. The author of this book brings this neglected area `out of the shadows′ with personal accounts of adult survivors, insights into why sibling abuse occurs, suggestions for prevention and implications for treatment.

Genres: Psychology

232 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 1990

Reviews

[Mia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky to have a course with the author in graduate school several years ago and looked forward to reading his book. As Dr. Wiehe was a kind and thoughtful instructor, I am not surprised to find that his book is a thoughtful and patient introduction to the topic of sibling abuse, its forms and effects on victims and families.

Especially helpful in working with victims and families is Chapter 8, "Distinguishing Abusive Behavior from Normal Behavior"in which the author lays out guidelines for distinguishing between normal sibling conflict and sibling abuse and between sexual interactions that fall within the range of normal and those which victimize. His breaking down of the "everyone does it" defense of sibling hostilities is spot on and provides new clinicians with an easily understood analogy for defusing this defense from parents or perpetrators.

The author's research with adult respondents is well developed, with respondents reflecting on their sibling relationships and family dys/functions, victimization, parental responses and affects of childhood sibling abuse on their adult relationships. These examples and Dr. Wiehe's modeling for breaking down motives and methods of abuse provide new clinicians with a reality-based foundation for helping child and adult clients come to grips with their experiences.

Recommended reading for counselors and psychotherapists in any field, working with adult or child clients, but especially for new clinicians who may not have received specialized training in sibling abuse during clinical training.

[Tess · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book addresses a virtually undiscussed topic that needs to be addressed. It outlines the differences between kids being kids and kids being abusive. I thought it could have capitalized more on the difference between near-age sibling abuse (older child acting out their own trauma on his/her sibling) and abuse between siblings who are far apart in age with the older being at least a teen (typical perp/victim roles).

[Kel Caffekey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really great book that comes as you need it. A lot of this book the first 111 pages are true accounts of what people experienced and like most people who will read this I went yep that's me, that sounds familiar and you too hey.

There were so many validations for me from the sexual context that just made sense. His suggestions on how to prevent sibling abuse are definitely valid considering this book was written a good long while ago.

This is not a book for the fainthearted as some of the stuff you'll read will make you go no way did that happen to you.

His final word really touched me in the end about moving from surivior to empowered person made me smile.

I did this book in less than 24 hrs as I was on a personal mission to heal this deep dark part of me. I kept picking it up and even though it was upsetting at times I just kept going.

There are very few books about sibling incest and whilst a lot of it is written on surveys and studies everything this author states is backed up with hard facts.

Great book that showed up for me exactly as I needed it!

[Csilla · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's great that there is a word for it now, and statements about what one's sister used to do is not necessarily to be dismissed by 'children are like that', 'every sibling does that'. Abusive behavior is not only hurtful in the moment, it can leave it's print on a child's mind and soul, causing longterm harm and it needs to be discussed and acknowledged and treated. I'm grateful for this book.

I feel the focus in this book is mostly on sexual abuse, but it is understandable, as other kinds of sibling abuse are not really acknowledged yet, so most of the cases studied were survivors of sexual abuse or 'at least' severe physical abuse. It is mostly descriptive, but offers some helpful advice to both parents and adults who need to come to terms with former abuse.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was written after Wiehe conducted a study examining physical, emotional, and sexual abuse perpetrated by one sibling against another. It's a hard read because of the subject matter but very informative. I highly recommend this book to anyone working with survivors of trauma or students that are looking to work with people who have experienced trauma, are in prison, or have substance abuse disorders.