Letters From Brenda: Two suitcases. 75 lost letters. One mother.

by Emma Kennedy

'Beautiful . . . insightful, fascinating and moving. It's a lovely LOVELY book' Marian Keyes
'This book made me cry' Sara Cox

After her mother, Brenda, passed away and her father sold the family home, broadcaster and writer Emma Kennedy found herself floundering, unable to make peace with the complex, charismatic woman who had been her mum. And then they found the letters . . .

This heartbreakingly funny book about the impact of discovering lost letters is a celebration of correspondence; those lost acts of penned love, the vivid snapshots in time scattered back through a life.

It is also about a childhood shrouded in shame, the lies Brenda told her family, the madness that set in, and ultimately what it means to be a daughter and a mother. Finally, Emma allows herself to explore what she couldn't while she was growing the question of who her mother really was.

'This honest, insightful book is a touching tribute to her complex, inimitable mother' Daily Express
'Remarkable' Dawn French
'A beautiful, hilarious and bittersweet book' Mel Giedroyc

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Audiobook

320 pages, Hardcover

Published August 16, 2022

Reviews

[Indieflower · Rating 4 out of 5]

The lovely Emma Kennedy tells the story of her relationship with her somewhat unstable mum, Brenda. Sifting through their unusual family life, Emma starts to discern that Brenda most likely had an undiagnosed personality disorder, one that made life very chaotic, and often miserable for those around her. It's not all doom and gloom though, Brenda was a force of nature, vivacious and charismatic and an absolute drama queen, the story is both funny and sad in equal measure, 4 stars.

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

How do I review a book such as this? I found it an incredibly emotional, heartbreaking but funny book. There were a number of times when I wanted to put the book down and not pick it up again - my emotions were too raw. However, the humour kept me going as well as the beauty in Brenda. How the relationship between mother and daughter developed was insightful. I especially enjoyed the epilogue giving Emma closure and a sense of peace. The fact that I am crying whilst writing this sums the book up... beautiful.

[Alžběta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Both heartbreaking and hilarious, "Letters from Brenda" is a beautifully written and moving memoir of the author's mum.
However, I found the book fascinating for a personal reason as well: my great-aunt, Hana, was feared and loathed by everyone in the family when I was growing up because she enjoyed nothing more than humiliating and embarrassing others, but as she was one of the family elders she had to be tolerated and treated with respect, however vicious she was to everyone. I still shudder to this day when I remember her remarks and behaviour - and I am sure I missed a lot witnessing this only as a child.
This book has made me think about my great-aunt differently. I think she must have had an undiagnosed mental illness and massive unprocessed trauma from WWII and later her imprisonment by the Communists. I now realise how little I know about her life and wonder who she was before the horrors she experienced turned her into a horrible person spewing nothing but poison and hate. Considering how she treated others, I dread to imagine her inner life and how she must have talked to herself.
So, Emma Kennedy's beautiful and moving but unflinching and brutally honest portrayal of her mother has also made me think about lots of things. The writing is excellent and hilarious. Also, this was my first book by Emma Kennedy and I can't wait to read more by her. What a treat!
Thank you, Emma!

[Janet Hoskyns · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasnt sure about this book although it was recommended to me. I am not very familiar with the author’s work as an actor or writer. However, the format was unusual and led you to want to proceed and pursue it and she illuminates the history in a tantalising and enticing manner. By the end you are thoroughly engaged and read the appendices with understanding and love. It won me over in a way I didn't anticipate. Thank you.

[Rebecca B - What Rebecca Read Next · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do we truly ever know our parents?
This book shares the life of Brenda, complicated, magnificent, troubled, funny & clearly at time unwell. Her daughter Emma shares her life and that of her parents in such a delicate way, you feel the emotions within you. You care about Brenda, you want her to be happy, truly happy. It is a tale of love, even when it’s the toughest ask.
I adored this book entirely.

[Sheena · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt this was more a personal cathartic journey for the author than a very interesting read. I know I shouldn't judge and it certainly was not Emma Kennedy's intention but I formed a intense dislike of her mother which no amount of justification of her behaviour could shift. Poor Phyllis and Tony and for that matter Emma. I feel they should have all had more backbone and not continued to reward the bad behaviour by letting Brenda continue to believe the world revolved around her with no consequences. She may then have sought help. I understand controlling behaviour, bullying, spitful comments and violent tantrums would make the rest of the family cowed and inert but that makes me even more incensed on their behalf. I am afraid the counterbalance of Brenda's charm, charisma and hilarity just did not come across to me and I found the letters a bit boring rather than off the wall and brilliant.

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

A daughter’s memoir about her mother that is both hilarious and poignantly sad. Kennedy’s writing style is so witty and approachable, and she lovingly tells the story of her mom, a complicated, larger than life woman who lived her life to the fullest despite the roadblocks that her upbringing and social morays threw in her way. It’s also a story about how illness, both mental and physical, affect a tightly knit family’s Highly recommended.

[Gail · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is funny, moving and brings Emma Kennedys mother to life on the page. Emma’s comments all the way through guide the reader through Brenda’s mind and the inputs in the letters from Tony gave me such a clear vision of them all. What a tribute to a complicated person, with the sweet and sour of her life.

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. An affectionate, honest and funny portrayal of Emma Kennedy's Mum, who was indeed a brilliant woman. My one quibble is with the store Emma sets by mental health diagnoses and the belief that with a diagnosis, Brenda would have received good support. I'm not so sure myself.

[Fiona Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read a few of Emma Kennedy’s books before but properly loved this one the most. It’s honest, funny, compelling, sad and full of love in equal measures. It also made me realise how much I still miss my Mum and that she really was one of my best friends.

[Laura H · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, so very much more than I expected! It's part amusing family memoir, part poignant and bitter analysis of a mother/daughter relationship. Its very funny on top, with a sharp tang of desperate sadness beneath. It was beautiful in its raw honesty. I loved it.

[Debby Doodah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very emotional and yet funny account of a mother and daughters life together. Very lovely book.

[Charlotte Betts · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Emma Kennedy's books she is rapidly becoming my favourite author. This book is both touching and moving and laugh out loud funny.

[Violeta Hernandez Suarez · Rating 5 out of 5]

What can I say, I needed this book and I am so glad I read it when I did. Worth 10 sessions of therapy to me. Thank you

[Emma Creasey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I actually listened to the Audible version of this, read by the author, but the list didn't give me that option - needs to be added please?

Normally I intersperse audiobook chapters with the podcasts I listen to each week. Not this time; I was hooked on the book once I started, and didn't want to listen to anything else, so the podcasts piled up until I finished it!

Sometimes I think I would have been better off reading an audiobook myself; but sometimes, especially when read by the author, it takes on a special quality that I'd never have experienced inside my own head. This is definitely one of those. Emma Kennedy 'performs' this book, brilliantly, and adds a whole extra dimension to her own witty prose.

This is the first book I've read/listened to by Emma Kennedy but won't be my last; my next Audible credit is reserved for her. This is her very personal account of her own family, partly her own autobiography, partly delving into her family history, but always dominated by her mother, Brenda. Brenda certainly was a character; beautiful, funny and charming, outspoken and characteristic - and mentally unstable in an era when nobody talked about such things. Horrific stories - Brenda chasing her husband Tony round the garden with a hoe, and believing the CIA had given her cancer - are perfectly balanced with others showing the humour, absurdity and pathos of this situation. Tales of family and personal life are interleaved with letters sent from Brenda while on Continental holidays with her doting and long-suffering husband Tony. No matter where they went they seemed to encounter or engender disaster. The letters, read in Audible version by Juliet Stevenson, bring Brenda to life in technicolour. They are hilarious, made even more so by Emma Kennedy's very deliberate interruptions (you can hear the microphone switch click) to comment on them - this mother-daughter double act works brilliantly.

This isn't a sickly sweet 'families are wonderful' book. Emma is quite frank about how difficult it is to like someone who is behaving so irrationally, and what a burden it is. She's very honest and humerous about her own feelings, and very good at shining the full-beam headlights on her own failings and mistakes - 'What was I THINKING?' is a frequent refrain.

I think one reason I was so engaged with this book was that it spoke to me personally. Having recently lost a parent, I recognised the state of a household dealing with the nasty, slow death of a cancer patient, but I also recognised Emma's descriptions of 'walking on eggshells' around a volatile parent, of having a family secret you simply never talk about with anybody, of wondering far too late if you could have got some help. And I also recognised that feeling of guilty relief at the death - of realising so many problems are finally over. To use a hackneyed phrase, I felt seen. It's a good sign when you feel you really want to sit down with a book's author for a cup of tea and a chat. And I've done something I've never done with an Audible book before; finished it, then listened to the whole thing all over again!

[Dani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Letters from Brenda, by Emma Kennedy. (Audible Audio edition, not yet included in list of editions. Narrated by: Emma Kennedy, Juliet Stevenson, Rafa Euba; Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins; Unabridged Audiobook; Release date: 12-05-22; Publisher: Coronet)

Started 28.01.23, finished 01.02.23.
Lovely book, at times hilarious despite some very sad situations and very serious food for thought. Read very quickly as I didn't want to stay away from it. Sometimes it was not entirely clear who was meant to be speaking, but it worked well enough and the content more than made up for any glitches in performance. It was also nice to see some details that had been mentioned in The Tent, the Bucket and Me, e.g. finding their dream home - although the lack of central heating was a funny kind of twist.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has to be experienced by audiobook for the excellent narration of Brenda by Juliet Stevenson with interjections/footnotes/commentary by Emma Kennedy. It all works brilliantly. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve laughed out loud or have nearly been brought to tears!
The chapter on “when Emma decides to be a lawyer” is brilliant and one I’ll revisit for sure.
There are some extremely sensitive paragraphs so if you’ve nursed or lost someone to cancer, you might want to skip those. I shall very much miss the walk to work with Brenda for company.

[Kerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It’s funny, moving, heartbreaking. The secret life of the daughter of a batty woman. Very touching on the loss of a parent. I love Emma’s point of view and wish she was my friend. As a doctor I constantly tried to diagnose Brenda. Loved the formulation by the psychiatrist at the end. Much deeper than you may suspect. Aging parents, dementia, mental illness, cancer. Loved it

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book but I found it difficult to read and a bit disjointed.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant, I chortled reading The Tent, the Bucket and Me. This book explores the complicated life of Emma's mother with tenderness and compassion.

[Bryony · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful and unusual memoir. I've always enjoyed Emma Kennedy's writing and this book is no exception. It is in some ways a grief memoir but also the exploration of a remarkable woman's life which was blighted by unaddressed mental health issues. Emma shares her mother's frequently hilarious letters while reflecting on why her mother was the way she was. It made me wish I'd met Brenda - but only on one of her good days. A lovely book that will make you laugh and cry in equal measure.

[N · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. Brenda was a very complex character and Emma has described her so well, warts and all, but never in a disparaging manner. To be honest about weaknesses our parents have is so often a taboo, but this was so well written, with good humour, exasperation and overwhelming love for clearly a remarkable lady.

[Sam Charlotte · Rating 1 out of 5]

Moving stories but author's writing style leaves much to be desired.