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Stolen: A Memoir
A gripping chronicle of psychological manipulation and abuse at a “therapeutic” boarding school for troubled teens, and how one young woman fought to heal in the aftermath.
At fifteen, Elizabeth Gilpin was an honor student, a state-ranked swimmer and a rising soccer star, but behind closed doors her undiagnosed depression was wreaking havoc on her life. Growing angrier by the day, she began skipping practices and drinking to excess. At a loss, her parents turned to an educational consultant who suggested Elizabeth be enrolled in a behavioral modification program. That recommendation would change her life forever.
The nightmare began when she was abducted from her bed in the middle of the night by hired professionals and dropped off deep in the woods of Appalachia. Living with no real shelter was only the beginning of her she was strip-searched, force-fed, her name was changed to a number and every moment was a test of physical survival.
After three brutal months, Elizabeth was transferred to a boarding school in Southern Virginia that in reality functioned more like a prison. Its curriculum revolved around a perverse form of group therapy where students were psychologically abused and humiliated. Finally, at seventeen, Elizabeth convinced them she was rehabilitated enough to “graduate” and was released.
In this eye-opening and unflinching book, Elizabeth recalls the horrors she endured, the friends she lost to suicide and addiction, and—years later—how she was finally able to pick up the pieces of her life and reclaim her identity.
At fifteen, Elizabeth Gilpin was an honor student, a state-ranked swimmer and a rising soccer star, but behind closed doors her undiagnosed depression was wreaking havoc on her life. Growing angrier by the day, she began skipping practices and drinking to excess. At a loss, her parents turned to an educational consultant who suggested Elizabeth be enrolled in a behavioral modification program. That recommendation would change her life forever.
The nightmare began when she was abducted from her bed in the middle of the night by hired professionals and dropped off deep in the woods of Appalachia. Living with no real shelter was only the beginning of her she was strip-searched, force-fed, her name was changed to a number and every moment was a test of physical survival.
After three brutal months, Elizabeth was transferred to a boarding school in Southern Virginia that in reality functioned more like a prison. Its curriculum revolved around a perverse form of group therapy where students were psychologically abused and humiliated. Finally, at seventeen, Elizabeth convinced them she was rehabilitated enough to “graduate” and was released.
In this eye-opening and unflinching book, Elizabeth recalls the horrors she endured, the friends she lost to suicide and addiction, and—years later—how she was finally able to pick up the pieces of her life and reclaim her identity.
336 pages, Paperback
First published July 20, 2021
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August 30, 2021
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to really, really want to change. And that sums up the book. From the moment the author went to the school she never stopped opposing every single thing it did, they told her to do, no matter what. It was her mission. Never give in. Never listen. Remain angry, aggressive, self-willed and oppositional. And the students who did co-operate she despised and called 'ponies', they were stupid collaborators with the enemy as far as she was concerned.
It is very much to the author's credit that she is really honest about herself, or at least in essence, not sure about facts. In the beginning her parents find a baggy of marijuana which she swore in the book she hadn't smoked. At the end of the book she says she only smoked a few times.... I had some difficulty believing that the conversations and memories of when people blushed and what minor thing they did were recalled verbatim. They were too many and too detailed. But in essence they were true. Everything the author wrote has the ring of authenticity.
She comes from a really well-off church-going family. This is when she is 15. She went to parties, got passing-out drunk, gave blow jobs (she admits to one to start with, but by the end it is plural), was aggressive and angry towards everyone in her family and was very vocal about her hatred for her parents and brother. The final straw seems to have been she was out in a car going to a party where the guy driving it bought some weed and wanted to test it before paying the dealer who wasn't up for that. What ensued was a car crash, from which she fled home and pretended she hadn't been there.
If she had come from a black home the police would have come after everyone in the car, the baggie in her house would have been found and she would have ended up in the criminal justice system, no question about it. Reminds me of Paris Hilton, at 13 she was out in night clubs, doing cocaine, and all the rest, and her parents also sent her to one of these residential schools for out of control kids. She hated it too.
Maybe in time she would have got her act together - she was a high achiever academically and athletically, but meanwhile she was on a path that many parents see only a tragic end for and is also destroying the family life with her causing constant strife and stress, her only thought in her head ME ME ME and what she wants, and her great unhappiness (although her brother and sister were not unhappy) and huge depression. But she never gives a credible reason for these. I guess it was being 15 and feeling that no one should control her, she should do as she pleases.
So I researched the process of her being 'kidnapped' in the night and the school, and it's methods. it's very expensive indeed. There are day-long personal interviews in the home of the young person, many consultations and discussions about what would be best to put them on the right path. And yes, they come in the night and they take the child away, the father was there, it wasn't exactly a kidnapping.
Then there is wilderness school for 3 months. I know this is an American thing, I don't really understand it. It sounds terrible. She apparently only got dehydrated beans, rice and ramen to eat for a month or two and had to drink four bottles of water a day. Then she was 'promoted' to a proper place with a bed and meals. The author makes much of the four modules over the year of group and individual psychotherapy. It sounds like a destruction of the personality and one from which she says she has tried hard to recover from over the years.
At the end of the year, she is granted a 3 day home visit. Her parents have moved house and even that displeases her. Everything does, she decides to do everything in opposition to what the school has been trying to teach her. She is now 17 and due to graduate but for one credit. Her parents want her to come home after this harsh year and to finish in a local high school. She begs Carlbrook to stay there to get the one credit she needs rather than go to another high school! What the author never mentioned was that the school was known for its excellent academics, she only ever talks about the therapy and social interaction.
The author mentions sexual abuse. This was limited to having to sit on one of the male counsellor's lap, not her alone, and which is highly inappropriate. He later left the school with no notice, and no reason given.
I also researched the children who left the school and what they thought of it. There were quite a few who thought as she did, it was a hateful place that destroyed her personality. But some, the 'ponies' she so despised, said it set them on the right path, that once they 'got it' and co-operated they could see a way forward. Some of them have become very successful, athletes among them. There is a site where old pupils can sign up, there seem to be quite a few.
The school's therapeutic process based apparently on the discredited Syanon movement, sounds appalling. But we are seeing it only through the eyes of one who had set her mind against it and wouldn't listen no matter what. I think really, all one can say is that her parents and the FamilyLight or whichever educational advisory organisation her parents used, tried their best but it's not a case of one solution fits all, and this one didn't fit Elizabeth Gilpin at all.
But she had no insight, she couldn't change, she couldn't appreciate what her parents were trying to do, and holding on to her anger by never considering anything but always opposing it was her modus operandi. So nothing anything anyone did for good could possibly have any effect anyway.
And so, when she graduates from the school, a day she rubbishes, she goes right back into extreme anger against her parents, screaming at them, demanding things, being self-centred, wanting to get her own way and drugs... The school had made her much worse.
Her parents too, they had no insight either, although at least they tried. But they knew she hated the school and so what gift do they give her taking her home... a beautiful, expensive gold charm bracelet with each charm to represent one of the modules of group therapy she underwent. They thought it would remind her of how she had transformed into a young woman on the right path, and to refer to it in times of doubt. It just made her hate them all the more.
I had been a rebellious teenager myself but I knew why - I had a mother who didn't like me at all, let alone love me and I could never do anything right, nor were any of the times of sexual abuse by others - doctor, teacher, some man in the park, another at school - ever taken seriously. I grew up, made my own life, I've been on my own since I was 17, everything I've got, I made myself. The author never really told us where her anger and depression came from, if she knew what the root cause was. I see that a school like her's would have broken me too. But that's age for you, things look different in retrospect and so they might for the author in years to come.
She's a lovely person. I hope she and her family get on now. I hope her family are proud of her for her success as an actress, producer and now an author. I kind of am for going through all that, her fault or not, and turning out so well. 4.5 stars, rounded up.
____________________
Notes on reading
It is very much to the author's credit that she is really honest about herself, or at least in essence, not sure about facts. In the beginning her parents find a baggy of marijuana which she swore in the book she hadn't smoked. At the end of the book she says she only smoked a few times.... I had some difficulty believing that the conversations and memories of when people blushed and what minor thing they did were recalled verbatim. They were too many and too detailed. But in essence they were true. Everything the author wrote has the ring of authenticity.
She comes from a really well-off church-going family. This is when she is 15. She went to parties, got passing-out drunk, gave blow jobs (she admits to one to start with, but by the end it is plural), was aggressive and angry towards everyone in her family and was very vocal about her hatred for her parents and brother. The final straw seems to have been she was out in a car going to a party where the guy driving it bought some weed and wanted to test it before paying the dealer who wasn't up for that. What ensued was a car crash, from which she fled home and pretended she hadn't been there.
If she had come from a black home the police would have come after everyone in the car, the baggie in her house would have been found and she would have ended up in the criminal justice system, no question about it. Reminds me of Paris Hilton, at 13 she was out in night clubs, doing cocaine, and all the rest, and her parents also sent her to one of these residential schools for out of control kids. She hated it too.
Maybe in time she would have got her act together - she was a high achiever academically and athletically, but meanwhile she was on a path that many parents see only a tragic end for and is also destroying the family life with her causing constant strife and stress, her only thought in her head ME ME ME and what she wants, and her great unhappiness (although her brother and sister were not unhappy) and huge depression. But she never gives a credible reason for these. I guess it was being 15 and feeling that no one should control her, she should do as she pleases.
So I researched the process of her being 'kidnapped' in the night and the school, and it's methods. it's very expensive indeed. There are day-long personal interviews in the home of the young person, many consultations and discussions about what would be best to put them on the right path. And yes, they come in the night and they take the child away, the father was there, it wasn't exactly a kidnapping.
Then there is wilderness school for 3 months. I know this is an American thing, I don't really understand it. It sounds terrible. She apparently only got dehydrated beans, rice and ramen to eat for a month or two and had to drink four bottles of water a day. Then she was 'promoted' to a proper place with a bed and meals. The author makes much of the four modules over the year of group and individual psychotherapy. It sounds like a destruction of the personality and one from which she says she has tried hard to recover from over the years.
At the end of the year, she is granted a 3 day home visit. Her parents have moved house and even that displeases her. Everything does, she decides to do everything in opposition to what the school has been trying to teach her. She is now 17 and due to graduate but for one credit. Her parents want her to come home after this harsh year and to finish in a local high school. She begs Carlbrook to stay there to get the one credit she needs rather than go to another high school! What the author never mentioned was that the school was known for its excellent academics, she only ever talks about the therapy and social interaction.
The author mentions sexual abuse. This was limited to having to sit on one of the male counsellor's lap, not her alone, and which is highly inappropriate. He later left the school with no notice, and no reason given.
I also researched the children who left the school and what they thought of it. There were quite a few who thought as she did, it was a hateful place that destroyed her personality. But some, the 'ponies' she so despised, said it set them on the right path, that once they 'got it' and co-operated they could see a way forward. Some of them have become very successful, athletes among them. There is a site where old pupils can sign up, there seem to be quite a few.
The school's therapeutic process based apparently on the discredited Syanon movement, sounds appalling. But we are seeing it only through the eyes of one who had set her mind against it and wouldn't listen no matter what. I think really, all one can say is that her parents and the FamilyLight or whichever educational advisory organisation her parents used, tried their best but it's not a case of one solution fits all, and this one didn't fit Elizabeth Gilpin at all.
But she had no insight, she couldn't change, she couldn't appreciate what her parents were trying to do, and holding on to her anger by never considering anything but always opposing it was her modus operandi. So nothing anything anyone did for good could possibly have any effect anyway.
And so, when she graduates from the school, a day she rubbishes, she goes right back into extreme anger against her parents, screaming at them, demanding things, being self-centred, wanting to get her own way and drugs... The school had made her much worse.
Her parents too, they had no insight either, although at least they tried. But they knew she hated the school and so what gift do they give her taking her home... a beautiful, expensive gold charm bracelet with each charm to represent one of the modules of group therapy she underwent. They thought it would remind her of how she had transformed into a young woman on the right path, and to refer to it in times of doubt. It just made her hate them all the more.
I had been a rebellious teenager myself but I knew why - I had a mother who didn't like me at all, let alone love me and I could never do anything right, nor were any of the times of sexual abuse by others - doctor, teacher, some man in the park, another at school - ever taken seriously. I grew up, made my own life, I've been on my own since I was 17, everything I've got, I made myself. The author never really told us where her anger and depression came from, if she knew what the root cause was. I see that a school like her's would have broken me too. But that's age for you, things look different in retrospect and so they might for the author in years to come.
She's a lovely person. I hope she and her family get on now. I hope her family are proud of her for her success as an actress, producer and now an author. I kind of am for going through all that, her fault or not, and turning out so well. 4.5 stars, rounded up.
____________________
Notes on reading
July 2, 2021
Elizabeth and I went through these programs together, so, of course, I relate to the experiences she describes in Stolen. However, there are two things that I genuinely appreciate about this book: first, that she includes some of the more harrowing moments of our time there and, second, that she introduces the troubled teen industry as a whole. This is a critical aspect of Stolen, as the troubled teen industry is not widely known, and our school is one among countless others. For the general public, Stolen provides insight into an unregulated industry that deserves scrutiny. For former students, it gives voice to our collective experiences in private programs like Carlbrook-stories that are often not told, and if they are, they are not believed.
October 6, 2022
2.5 stars.
Fifteen-year-old Elizabeth is woken one night by two abductors who take her from her bedroom to the Appalachian woods. This is part of the process of the boarding school her parents have registered her at. Once an honours student and state-ranked athlete, this is Elizabeth’s story of how her life took a devastating turn and the aftermath of the abuse she suffered at the prison-like boarding school.
I can only imagine how therapeutic it has been for Elizabeth to write this book. I applaud her bravery and courage in getting her story out. I know this will help to heal others who have faced similar situations.
The first third of this memoir had me gripped and intrigued. Elizabeth’s story is like no other. What she experienced at the hands of a so-called boarding school for troubled teens was horrific. I felt for her and all the other students who suffered the same fate.
My connection lessened as her story went on. I got lost in all the details and felt overwhelmed by the repetitive conversations and situations. I understand that she faced an extreme amount of abuse and that is so upsetting and disturbing. However, the repetition made the book drag and I struggled to find the interest in picking it back up after putting it down.
Overall, a unique, eye-opening and interesting story. Thank you to the publisher for my physical review copy!
Fifteen-year-old Elizabeth is woken one night by two abductors who take her from her bedroom to the Appalachian woods. This is part of the process of the boarding school her parents have registered her at. Once an honours student and state-ranked athlete, this is Elizabeth’s story of how her life took a devastating turn and the aftermath of the abuse she suffered at the prison-like boarding school.
I can only imagine how therapeutic it has been for Elizabeth to write this book. I applaud her bravery and courage in getting her story out. I know this will help to heal others who have faced similar situations.
The first third of this memoir had me gripped and intrigued. Elizabeth’s story is like no other. What she experienced at the hands of a so-called boarding school for troubled teens was horrific. I felt for her and all the other students who suffered the same fate.
My connection lessened as her story went on. I got lost in all the details and felt overwhelmed by the repetitive conversations and situations. I understand that she faced an extreme amount of abuse and that is so upsetting and disturbing. However, the repetition made the book drag and I struggled to find the interest in picking it back up after putting it down.
Overall, a unique, eye-opening and interesting story. Thank you to the publisher for my physical review copy!
September 9, 2024
This chick has issues. Is it nature? Probably; she says she suffered from clinical depression all her life. Is it nurture? Her family seems to be a contributing factor based on her version of the story, but clearly Elizabeth was her own worst enemy. Still, it's hard to completely vindicate parents like her father (a medical doctor who completely missed or ignored his daughter's depression) who sign up their child to be kidnapped in the middle of the night and taken to an unknown destination.
At age 15, Elizabeth was doing well on the outside: honor student, soccer player, state ranked swimmer. On the inside, she struggled with depression and coped via self-harm and drinking. On top of typical teen behavior like sneaking out and lying, her parents decided enough was enough. They enrolled her in a "troubled teen program" that included 100 days non-stop in the wilderness, followed by 3 years in Carlebrook Academy, a kind of boarding "school" where every day involves intense group therapy.
By intense, I mean sanctioned bullying done by and forced upon every kid there.
Honestly, it was really hard to sympathize with Elizabeth. Her own childhood stories paint a picture of a kid with serious anger management issues on the path to bigger and more serious trouble unless somebody intervened. Imho, her parents definitely needed to do something, I just think they went with too extreme an option. Why they didn't choose a psychiatrist or therapist, I don't know.
If you're going to read this, don't pick the audiobook. The author reads it herself and has a nasally monotone and uninflected delivery. Unless she's crying or acting out an angry scene.
At age 15, Elizabeth was doing well on the outside: honor student, soccer player, state ranked swimmer. On the inside, she struggled with depression and coped via self-harm and drinking. On top of typical teen behavior like sneaking out and lying, her parents decided enough was enough. They enrolled her in a "troubled teen program" that included 100 days non-stop in the wilderness, followed by 3 years in Carlebrook Academy, a kind of boarding "school" where every day involves intense group therapy.
By intense, I mean sanctioned bullying done by and forced upon every kid there.
Honestly, it was really hard to sympathize with Elizabeth. Her own childhood stories paint a picture of a kid with serious anger management issues on the path to bigger and more serious trouble unless somebody intervened. Imho, her parents definitely needed to do something, I just think they went with too extreme an option. Why they didn't choose a psychiatrist or therapist, I don't know.
If you're going to read this, don't pick the audiobook. The author reads it herself and has a nasally monotone and uninflected delivery. Unless she's crying or acting out an angry scene.
August 6, 2021
I’ve given myself a few days to think this over, and I’m still not sure how I feel about it.
This is a memoir by a woman who spent her late teens inside the “troubled teen industry,” first in a wilderness intake program, followed by a stay at a therapy boarding school.
This is set up as an inside look at an abusive program told by someone who had to go through it. And while it’s obvious that these programs were stupid and terrible and not at all a good way of rehabilitating troubled teens, Gilpin herself doesn’t seem like the most reliable guide. Even with the perspective of hindsight she doesn’t seem to have an appreciation for how her anger was affecting her family. On the other hand, she does understand now that she was suffering from mental illness, and maybe the attitude toward her family was just her way of showing us her thought process at the time? She’s definitely a victim in this story - she needed good, professional therapy and instead just got sent away - but its clear she’s walking us through a story she still doesn’t have clarity about. Or closure. Her adult life has been very rocky.
But … it makes for a powerful audiobook. Gilpin cries throughout the book, and it’s obvious from the jarring edits (almost creepy to listen to at night while walking the dog) that her emotional state caused several parts to have to be re-recorded. She spends the entire last section of the book almost wailing. She is still feeling all of this like it happened yesterday, and she makes you feel it along with her.
I really appreciate Gilpin sharing her story.
This is a memoir by a woman who spent her late teens inside the “troubled teen industry,” first in a wilderness intake program, followed by a stay at a therapy boarding school.
This is set up as an inside look at an abusive program told by someone who had to go through it. And while it’s obvious that these programs were stupid and terrible and not at all a good way of rehabilitating troubled teens, Gilpin herself doesn’t seem like the most reliable guide. Even with the perspective of hindsight she doesn’t seem to have an appreciation for how her anger was affecting her family. On the other hand, she does understand now that she was suffering from mental illness, and maybe the attitude toward her family was just her way of showing us her thought process at the time? She’s definitely a victim in this story - she needed good, professional therapy and instead just got sent away - but its clear she’s walking us through a story she still doesn’t have clarity about. Or closure. Her adult life has been very rocky.
But … it makes for a powerful audiobook. Gilpin cries throughout the book, and it’s obvious from the jarring edits (almost creepy to listen to at night while walking the dog) that her emotional state caused several parts to have to be re-recorded. She spends the entire last section of the book almost wailing. She is still feeling all of this like it happened yesterday, and she makes you feel it along with her.
I really appreciate Gilpin sharing her story.
August 3, 2021
I Laughed, I Cried, I Had to Pretend I Died
I went to Carlbrook with Elizabeth and this book is basically perfect in my eyes. It encapsulates the experience and feeling of the place so well, and she writes in such a clear and relatable voice. I had so many feelings come up and I’m grateful for all of them.
I went to Carlbrook with Elizabeth and this book is basically perfect in my eyes. It encapsulates the experience and feeling of the place so well, and she writes in such a clear and relatable voice. I had so many feelings come up and I’m grateful for all of them.
August 2, 2021
Thanks so much to NetGalley, Grand Central Publishing, and Elizabeth Gilpin for this eARC in exchange for an honest review!
“At fifteen, Elizabeth Gilpin was an honor student, a state-ranked swimmer, and a rising soccer star, but behind closed doors, her undiagnosed depression was wreaking havoc on her life. Growing angrier by the day, she began skipping practices and drinking to excess. At a loss, her parents turned to an educational consultant who suggested Elizabeth be enrolled in a behavioral modification program. That recommendation would change her life forever”.
If you need a cautionary tale of why you should listen to/try to understand or level with your children, this book will be vital to you. This is also a potent reminder of how much distress and harm a human can push through and how sometimes they can come out (at least mostly) on the other side of things.
Stolen is also incredibly eye-opening and terrifying in the way that Elizabeth’s experience isn’t a one-of-a-kind thing. It’s harrowing to read one account of extreme emotional and physical abuse and even more so to realize that there are so many others with stories of their own. It’s a lot, but it is also essential.
There was a quote that kind of stuck with me, and it was, “I suffer from depression. I'm not a drug addict, and my anger doesn't come from some unexplainable place. I just have trouble regulating my mood sometimes, just like so many other people I know. I didn't need to be sent away. I didn't need a full-time “therapeutic community.” All I ever needed was for someone to take the time to really hear me. To interpret the cry for help that was at the center of every explosive fight or drunken night. I didn't need tough love. I just needed a little extra help.”
So yeah. I can't really recommend this book enough. It's four stars from me.
“At fifteen, Elizabeth Gilpin was an honor student, a state-ranked swimmer, and a rising soccer star, but behind closed doors, her undiagnosed depression was wreaking havoc on her life. Growing angrier by the day, she began skipping practices and drinking to excess. At a loss, her parents turned to an educational consultant who suggested Elizabeth be enrolled in a behavioral modification program. That recommendation would change her life forever”.
If you need a cautionary tale of why you should listen to/try to understand or level with your children, this book will be vital to you. This is also a potent reminder of how much distress and harm a human can push through and how sometimes they can come out (at least mostly) on the other side of things.
Stolen is also incredibly eye-opening and terrifying in the way that Elizabeth’s experience isn’t a one-of-a-kind thing. It’s harrowing to read one account of extreme emotional and physical abuse and even more so to realize that there are so many others with stories of their own. It’s a lot, but it is also essential.
There was a quote that kind of stuck with me, and it was, “I suffer from depression. I'm not a drug addict, and my anger doesn't come from some unexplainable place. I just have trouble regulating my mood sometimes, just like so many other people I know. I didn't need to be sent away. I didn't need a full-time “therapeutic community.” All I ever needed was for someone to take the time to really hear me. To interpret the cry for help that was at the center of every explosive fight or drunken night. I didn't need tough love. I just needed a little extra help.”
So yeah. I can't really recommend this book enough. It's four stars from me.
June 1, 2021
Thank you NetGalley & Grand Central Publishing for my gifted eARC in exchange for an honest review.
I could not put this book down. I am not even sure I read what I read. What a terrifying, heartbreaking, eye opening book. I wanted to scream, cry, shout at characters and along with the author. And to think this is a memoir. Holy cakes. I have so much respect for Elizabeth and her story. It reminds you, that you have no idea what anyone is going through. We all fight demons and monsters. But for some, those demons and monsters are our teachers, schools, peers and parents. And that reminder is so completely terrifying.
So, do I recommend this book? A thousand times yes. Elizabeth deserves to have her story heard.
I could not put this book down. I am not even sure I read what I read. What a terrifying, heartbreaking, eye opening book. I wanted to scream, cry, shout at characters and along with the author. And to think this is a memoir. Holy cakes. I have so much respect for Elizabeth and her story. It reminds you, that you have no idea what anyone is going through. We all fight demons and monsters. But for some, those demons and monsters are our teachers, schools, peers and parents. And that reminder is so completely terrifying.
So, do I recommend this book? A thousand times yes. Elizabeth deserves to have her story heard.
October 10, 2021
Would like to hear the parents viewpoint.
May 1, 2021
Update: Originally, I rated this memoir 3 stars. I read an uncorrected ARC and felt there were some style and pacing issues that kept me from giving it a higher rating. But nearly a week later I still find myself thinking about it and discussing it, which doesn’t happen often for me with memoirs. I think Gilpin’s story will help a lot of people feel seen and will shine a light on a system that needs to be exposed. So, ultimately, taking these things into consideration I believe it does deserve a full star upgrade to a 4 star rating.
January 3, 2022
By a confluence of circumstances at a young age, if memory serves me correctly 15, Elizabeth Gilpin was forced out of her home in the middle of the night. To make matters worse, her parents were in cahoots with these "kidnappers" who stole her and enforced their sick and twisted form of therapy. Much as a petty criminal becomes a master technician while in prison, Elizabeth transformed from a youth with a rebellious streak into a basket case who learned more self-destructive behavior than conceivably possible if left to her own devices. In a story such as this one, where so many cruelties were foisted upon Elizabeth, the main difficulty is trying to figure out the most egregious ones.
Elizabeth was like so many youths throughout the world; she partook in some extracurricular activities that her parents disapproved of. She drank, partied, smoked weed on occasion and found her self in some precarious situations. She was disrespectful to her parents and jealous of her younger sister who could do no wrong in her parents' eyes. Admittedly, she also had a temper and a competitive streak which helped her in her athletic and academic pursuits but made her view things in a selfish manner. Instead of dealing with her teenage years by shouldering through all the ups and downs and trying to address any shortcomings her parents took a more proactive approach. Unfortunately, for all those involved (especially Elizabeth), this led to the hellish nightmare that became her life for two years.
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions and this story exemplifies this quote. By a fluke of circumstance, the founder and the mother of the founder of the reform school lived in the same small town as Elizabeth. Not only this but they belonged to the same social circle and it was this influence that led to the "kidnapping". While, the brochures and testimonials showcased the few success stories the overwhelming evidence provided a different scenario. This cruel combination of a boot camp mixed with a Maoist internment camp was a place of doom. The horrifying and numerous tales make up the majority of this book and the sheer audacity that the counselors exhibit through their tortuous practices is disgusting.
The psychological techniques of this cult have been perfected for a number of decades. While, the physical afflictions are bad (camping in the woods with little protection, defecating in one spot and endless grueling marches) it is the mental breakdowns that are the most damaging. Extreme shaming and shunning are commonplace and an atmosphere where compliance is severely enforced is showcased. Instead of providing instruction or life skills to their charges the counselors engage in tearing down them down in the most troubling ways. They constantly berate them and make them relive their most embarrassing incidents in front of their peers. They called them the most vile names possible and even try to implant false memories such as when they kept forcing Elizabeth to confess to being a whore even though she was still a virgin.
Though a tough read, it was a revealing look at how seemingly good things can go so awry. While, Elizabeth's parents thought they were sending her to get some "tough love", they were instead irrevocably damaging her. Their reputable church friends and their upper middle class surroundings were every bit as susceptible to being conned as anyone else. They subjected their daughter to debilitating torture just to avoid conflict. Maybe I am being harsh on the parents as they did not know better, but it seems that instead of wantonly forcing their daughter into the arms of psychopaths they should have done more than cursory research. Out of all the absurdities, the fact that this place and places of its ilk still exist and operate is the most damning.
Elizabeth was like so many youths throughout the world; she partook in some extracurricular activities that her parents disapproved of. She drank, partied, smoked weed on occasion and found her self in some precarious situations. She was disrespectful to her parents and jealous of her younger sister who could do no wrong in her parents' eyes. Admittedly, she also had a temper and a competitive streak which helped her in her athletic and academic pursuits but made her view things in a selfish manner. Instead of dealing with her teenage years by shouldering through all the ups and downs and trying to address any shortcomings her parents took a more proactive approach. Unfortunately, for all those involved (especially Elizabeth), this led to the hellish nightmare that became her life for two years.
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions and this story exemplifies this quote. By a fluke of circumstance, the founder and the mother of the founder of the reform school lived in the same small town as Elizabeth. Not only this but they belonged to the same social circle and it was this influence that led to the "kidnapping". While, the brochures and testimonials showcased the few success stories the overwhelming evidence provided a different scenario. This cruel combination of a boot camp mixed with a Maoist internment camp was a place of doom. The horrifying and numerous tales make up the majority of this book and the sheer audacity that the counselors exhibit through their tortuous practices is disgusting.
The psychological techniques of this cult have been perfected for a number of decades. While, the physical afflictions are bad (camping in the woods with little protection, defecating in one spot and endless grueling marches) it is the mental breakdowns that are the most damaging. Extreme shaming and shunning are commonplace and an atmosphere where compliance is severely enforced is showcased. Instead of providing instruction or life skills to their charges the counselors engage in tearing down them down in the most troubling ways. They constantly berate them and make them relive their most embarrassing incidents in front of their peers. They called them the most vile names possible and even try to implant false memories such as when they kept forcing Elizabeth to confess to being a whore even though she was still a virgin.
Though a tough read, it was a revealing look at how seemingly good things can go so awry. While, Elizabeth's parents thought they were sending her to get some "tough love", they were instead irrevocably damaging her. Their reputable church friends and their upper middle class surroundings were every bit as susceptible to being conned as anyone else. They subjected their daughter to debilitating torture just to avoid conflict. Maybe I am being harsh on the parents as they did not know better, but it seems that instead of wantonly forcing their daughter into the arms of psychopaths they should have done more than cursory research. Out of all the absurdities, the fact that this place and places of its ilk still exist and operate is the most damning.
April 11, 2022
Ultimately, I didn’t really want to die. I just couldn’t keep on going the way I had been. Every time I thought I’d reached rock bottom, the ground beneath me would sink another foot. I was so exhausted just trying to keep up with all the lies I told to protect myself, always trying to think two moves ahead.
Stolen: A Memoir is Elizabeth Gilpin's story of her hellish time spent in the so-called Troubled Teen industry in the early 2000s. Going into this book I had no knowledge of this disgusting industry, and honestly I'm not sure how I found out about this book, so it was really an eye-opening read for me. Glipin's writing is plain but effective as she tells the heartbreaking story of how she and her peers were horribly abused in the name of fixing issues from video game addiction to drug problems, all treated in the same way. It's definitely a tough read but Gilpin has written a compelling story and I often had to remind myself that I was reading non-fiction rather than a dystopian novel. I firmly believe that all the adults involved in this story and in the wider industry deserve to rot in prison for the rest of their lives.
Stolen: A Memoir is Elizabeth Gilpin's story of her hellish time spent in the so-called Troubled Teen industry in the early 2000s. Going into this book I had no knowledge of this disgusting industry, and honestly I'm not sure how I found out about this book, so it was really an eye-opening read for me. Glipin's writing is plain but effective as she tells the heartbreaking story of how she and her peers were horribly abused in the name of fixing issues from video game addiction to drug problems, all treated in the same way. It's definitely a tough read but Gilpin has written a compelling story and I often had to remind myself that I was reading non-fiction rather than a dystopian novel. I firmly believe that all the adults involved in this story and in the wider industry deserve to rot in prison for the rest of their lives.
September 10, 2021
As someone who has also experienced a “therapeutic” boarding school, this was quite an emotional read. Thank you Elizabeth for sharing your story ❤️
May 26, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Wow, what an eye opener this book is. This "therapeutic" boarding school was absolutely appalling in their treatment of these poor teenagers. I can see that it did way more harm than good and really messed up the futures of a lot of these teens.
This book took a lot of courage to write. I hope it has served as a beneficial part of Elizabeth Gilpin's healing.
Wow, what an eye opener this book is. This "therapeutic" boarding school was absolutely appalling in their treatment of these poor teenagers. I can see that it did way more harm than good and really messed up the futures of a lot of these teens.
This book took a lot of courage to write. I hope it has served as a beneficial part of Elizabeth Gilpin's healing.
August 30, 2021
Originally published on The Nerd Daily | Review by Beth Mowbray
When you read a memoir, it’s almost like the author is inviting you inside their mind, inside their life, and showing you glimpses of what made them the person they are today. Reading Stolen by Elizabeth Gilpin was more like living the events of her past right along with her. The moment I picked up this heartbreaking and eye-opening memoir, I couldn’t put it down.
Throughout the novel, Gilpin lays out all of the dark secrets of “therapeutic” boarding schools and exposes the horrors that go on behind closed doors. Labelled as a “troubled” and “dangerous” teen, Gilpin’s parents have her kidnapped in the middle of the night and dropped off at a camp where she spends the next few months stripped of her own name, tramping through the wilderness, and threatened at every turn with being sent to what is called “lockdown”. After being ridiculed, shamed, and betrayed, Gilpin is finally able to graduate and move on to a boarding school, where even more horrors unfurl.
Read the FULL REVIEW on The Nerd Daily
When you read a memoir, it’s almost like the author is inviting you inside their mind, inside their life, and showing you glimpses of what made them the person they are today. Reading Stolen by Elizabeth Gilpin was more like living the events of her past right along with her. The moment I picked up this heartbreaking and eye-opening memoir, I couldn’t put it down.
Throughout the novel, Gilpin lays out all of the dark secrets of “therapeutic” boarding schools and exposes the horrors that go on behind closed doors. Labelled as a “troubled” and “dangerous” teen, Gilpin’s parents have her kidnapped in the middle of the night and dropped off at a camp where she spends the next few months stripped of her own name, tramping through the wilderness, and threatened at every turn with being sent to what is called “lockdown”. After being ridiculed, shamed, and betrayed, Gilpin is finally able to graduate and move on to a boarding school, where even more horrors unfurl.
Read the FULL REVIEW on The Nerd Daily
August 6, 2021
I listened to the audiobook version of this, read by the author. Hearing her voice break with obvious emotion describing some of the horrific experiences she was made to go through in her "therapeutic boarding school" and before that, wilderness camp, was so heartbreaking it brought me to tears... Exposing this industry is so important. I knew next to nothing about the "therapeutic practices" of these type institutions before diving into this memoir. The humiliation and degradation she went through in the name of "therapy" is utterly disgraceful.
I hope that in telling her story and exposing what horrors await teens in (who knows how many of) these expensive, unregulated institutions, more parents will heed the warnings and see that they are not the answer. So many suicides, so much anger compounded by feeling dismissed and abandoned by family, loss of trust, trauma on top of trauma. Elizabeth's account is brutally honest and hard to hear, but I think it's very important to be aware of these kinds of experiences and preventable horrors.
I hope that in telling her story and exposing what horrors await teens in (who knows how many of) these expensive, unregulated institutions, more parents will heed the warnings and see that they are not the answer. So many suicides, so much anger compounded by feeling dismissed and abandoned by family, loss of trust, trauma on top of trauma. Elizabeth's account is brutally honest and hard to hear, but I think it's very important to be aware of these kinds of experiences and preventable horrors.
August 19, 2021
This was one of the worst books I have ever read. She shows no accountability, no real breaking news about these places that wasn’t already known- and the narration when switching to audible was awful! Additionally, the repetition in trying to prove a point grew worrisome- one story should capture the premise? I wish I had my hours back that I wasted on reading this book.
January 19, 2022
This was an easy read, and pretty jaw-dropping. On the scale of teenage "badness," Gilpin was really not (at least by her account) a whole lot worse than average. I think her antics certainly deserved some sort of intervention, but am pretty amazed that her parents would choose one so extreme. That alone left me wondering whether she downplayed her misdeeds, or whether the format & program were just so drastically misrepresented to her parents. I wish she had provided a little more information on that. I really expected more discussion of whether/how she eventually forgave or reconciled with her parents.
I give her credit for admitting throughout that she resisted giving in to the program, & asking herself whether that made it harder than it needed to be. Obviously it did, but that certainly doesn't mean that it was a good program. Face it - the program was not designed or run by qualified experts. It was mostly facilitated by young alumni, whose only qualifications were having personal experience with the program themselves. It's pretty ridiculous to suggest (as some other reviews have) that if she'd done everything by the book her life would have magically turned things around, because they did absolutely nothing to discover or treat her underlying issues.
SPOILER ALERT: She also downplayed the extent to which she returned to destructive behavior after she left the program. She described it, but didn't spend as much time on it. I didn't really want more details, but I would have liked to see a little more reflection on what she was going through inside during that time, & how she summoned the conviction to stop it. I give her credit for not going over the top in blaming the program. It's pretty clear that the program was absolutely ineffective in helping her to manage whatever issues led her to the destructive behavior in the first place. One has to wonder how differently things had gone if she'd seen a qualified therapist.
I would definitely recommend this to any parent who's considering any sort of "reform program" for their difficult teen. It's a serious warning to thoroughly check them out before committing to any program out of desperation.
I give her credit for admitting throughout that she resisted giving in to the program, & asking herself whether that made it harder than it needed to be. Obviously it did, but that certainly doesn't mean that it was a good program. Face it - the program was not designed or run by qualified experts. It was mostly facilitated by young alumni, whose only qualifications were having personal experience with the program themselves. It's pretty ridiculous to suggest (as some other reviews have) that if she'd done everything by the book her life would have magically turned things around, because they did absolutely nothing to discover or treat her underlying issues.
SPOILER ALERT: She also downplayed the extent to which she returned to destructive behavior after she left the program. She described it, but didn't spend as much time on it. I didn't really want more details, but I would have liked to see a little more reflection on what she was going through inside during that time, & how she summoned the conviction to stop it. I give her credit for not going over the top in blaming the program. It's pretty clear that the program was absolutely ineffective in helping her to manage whatever issues led her to the destructive behavior in the first place. One has to wonder how differently things had gone if she'd seen a qualified therapist.
I would definitely recommend this to any parent who's considering any sort of "reform program" for their difficult teen. It's a serious warning to thoroughly check them out before committing to any program out of desperation.
December 8, 2021
The author's parents had her kidnapped at the age of 15 because she was out of control. The re-programmers took her to an outdoor camp where she lived for 3 months before she was sent to an indoor camp where she lived till she was 17. It does sound awful but the problem with this book is I've read so many books about adolescent suffering that were so much worse than this, eg. "Educated", "From Harlem to Harvard", "Glass Castle", books about children of South Africa who were kidnapped by army tribes of renegades, books about the children of Warren Jeffs, and other polygamists, books about Jaycee Dugaard and Elizabeth Smart and every one of them had it 10 times worse than Elizabeth Gilpin.
The author had one opportunity after another to modify her behavior and every time she got her parents on the phone or got near them physically she ended up screaming curses at them and telling them how much she hated them. I agree that her parents should have researched the school more carefully because it doesn't sound like it help her educationally or therapeutically. The seminars were so boring that I fell asleep reading about them. But my sympathy ultimately was with the parents, not the child. What would you do with an out-of-control 15 year old girl who lies and drinks and hides drugs and skips school and curses at you and stays out all night?
The author had one opportunity after another to modify her behavior and every time she got her parents on the phone or got near them physically she ended up screaming curses at them and telling them how much she hated them. I agree that her parents should have researched the school more carefully because it doesn't sound like it help her educationally or therapeutically. The seminars were so boring that I fell asleep reading about them. But my sympathy ultimately was with the parents, not the child. What would you do with an out-of-control 15 year old girl who lies and drinks and hides drugs and skips school and curses at you and stays out all night?
August 31, 2021
Overall Impression: Wow, this memoir reads like fiction, to the point that I keep forgetting that is really happened.
Stolen is a memoir written by Elizabeth Gilpin about her “troubled teen” years. Elizabeth was torn out of bed in the middle of the night and brought to a camp for troubled teens where they spent days hiking or in group therapy and their nights in a tent alone with their boots confiscated so they couldn’t run away.
After the tortures of the camp, she is sent to a school in Virginia to continue the “work” done by the camp.
I’m not even fully sure how to review this book, as it is about someone’s life, but to say this book is shocking is an understatement. How anyone could think that programs like this are helpful is unfathomable. Most of the kids in these programs were not criminals or addicts but unruly kids that parents didn’t know what else to do. I’m not kidding when I say that I had to keep reminding myself that it is not fiction. I’m sure Elizabeth’s story is not all that unique either, as this happened all over the country with many stories still untold.
Go read this book, it is truly eye opening.
Stolen is a memoir written by Elizabeth Gilpin about her “troubled teen” years. Elizabeth was torn out of bed in the middle of the night and brought to a camp for troubled teens where they spent days hiking or in group therapy and their nights in a tent alone with their boots confiscated so they couldn’t run away.
After the tortures of the camp, she is sent to a school in Virginia to continue the “work” done by the camp.
I’m not even fully sure how to review this book, as it is about someone’s life, but to say this book is shocking is an understatement. How anyone could think that programs like this are helpful is unfathomable. Most of the kids in these programs were not criminals or addicts but unruly kids that parents didn’t know what else to do. I’m not kidding when I say that I had to keep reminding myself that it is not fiction. I’m sure Elizabeth’s story is not all that unique either, as this happened all over the country with many stories still untold.
Go read this book, it is truly eye opening.
December 5, 2023
I could not put this book down. Gilpin's story-telling makes you feel like you are right there next to her and it's addicting. My only complaint is that I wish she spent a little more time on her life outside of the school once she graduated. How did she cope, did she maintain a relationship with her parents and siblings in to her adult life, etc. Otherwise, an incredibly phenomenal read. Strongly recommend.
August 24, 2021
3 1/2 rounded up. It was well written but I felt like it was missing something. I wanted to hear more about her reconciliation with her family, particularly her dad. Or, at least found out what they thought about the book coming out or what she experienced. It was wonderful nonetheless. It's awful that these places still exist.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 11, 2023
Stolen by Elizabeth Gilpin. Thanks to the author for the gifted copy ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
At fifteen Elizabeth was an honor student but depressed. Her undiagnosed depression showed as rebellion to her parents who took the advice of a counselor and sent her away to boarding school. Her time away starts with being kidnapped from her home and stolen away to the wilderness.
I have heard vague talk about these prison-like boarding schools, especially since Paris Hilton started talking about her experience. This was a hard read but very important to know this history and what many children went through. I was so angry for Elizabeth the entire time. I was steaming while I read it. I enjoyed reading about her time in the wilderness, at the school, and her recovery after.
“I’m not a whore. I’m not a drug addict. But hey, the rumors say I am. So maybe I should just accept it and lean in.”
Stolen is available now.
At fifteen Elizabeth was an honor student but depressed. Her undiagnosed depression showed as rebellion to her parents who took the advice of a counselor and sent her away to boarding school. Her time away starts with being kidnapped from her home and stolen away to the wilderness.
I have heard vague talk about these prison-like boarding schools, especially since Paris Hilton started talking about her experience. This was a hard read but very important to know this history and what many children went through. I was so angry for Elizabeth the entire time. I was steaming while I read it. I enjoyed reading about her time in the wilderness, at the school, and her recovery after.
“I’m not a whore. I’m not a drug addict. But hey, the rumors say I am. So maybe I should just accept it and lean in.”
Stolen is available now.
August 21, 2022
Fucking hell …
What an incredibly strong woman.
What an incredibly strong woman.
November 8, 2023
It was both really interesting and upsetting to learn about these programs that I knew such little about. The writing wasn’t anything special but I think the focus was more on her telling her story rather than how she was telling it
September 12, 2021
The therapeutic birding school industry is one that’s not widely spoken about, but should be. Elizabeth Gilpin’s account of her time at the Carlbrook School is hard to read and even harder to understand as someone coming from a place that couldn’t be more different than her experiences. Readers of Stolen should absolutely consider reading the digital graphic novel about the Elan School by Joe Nobody, which is more in-depth and graphic, but I found it to be an important read.
August 2, 2021
While this book dealt with a lot and included mental health struggles, trauma and addiction, the majority of this book reminded me of Leah Remini’s book because Gilpin’s “school” was run very much like the Scientology cult. So many parts of the book broke my heart. And there are pretty much all the trigger warnings here, but it was an important read and, while I’m sorry for what spurred it, I’m so glad Gilpin got to a place where she could share. I especially appreciated her insights about how sometimes what teens struggling really need is attention and someone to listen.
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July 28, 2021Thank you to @grandcentralpub and Elizabeth Gilpin for a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
"A gripping chronicle of psychological manipulation and abuse at a "therapeutic" boarding school for troubled teens, and how one young woman fought to heal in the aftermath."
Review: This is an incredibly insightful and heart breaking memoir showcasing the manipulation, abuse and truly horrific events teens suffered at therapeutic boarding schools, such as Carlbrook's.
The author introduces the reader to the troubled teen industry, shedding light on the importance of mental health, and the challenges teens faced while struggling with addiction, suicidal ideation, abuse, trauma, depression and finding their identity.
This novel is an emotional and eye-opening journey, as the author takes us through personal accounts of the traumatic experiences she faced within the industry, and the side effects of the abuse she endured following graduation.
I truly could not stop reading this novel. This book deserves so much recognition, a voice to be heard in bringing awareness to mental health and this industry. Thank you Elizabeth for sharing your story. I would absolutely recommend this read.
"A gripping chronicle of psychological manipulation and abuse at a "therapeutic" boarding school for troubled teens, and how one young woman fought to heal in the aftermath."
Review: This is an incredibly insightful and heart breaking memoir showcasing the manipulation, abuse and truly horrific events teens suffered at therapeutic boarding schools, such as Carlbrook's.
The author introduces the reader to the troubled teen industry, shedding light on the importance of mental health, and the challenges teens faced while struggling with addiction, suicidal ideation, abuse, trauma, depression and finding their identity.
This novel is an emotional and eye-opening journey, as the author takes us through personal accounts of the traumatic experiences she faced within the industry, and the side effects of the abuse she endured following graduation.
I truly could not stop reading this novel. This book deserves so much recognition, a voice to be heard in bringing awareness to mental health and this industry. Thank you Elizabeth for sharing your story. I would absolutely recommend this read.
July 31, 2021
The only complaint I have about this book is that I wish the chapters about the woods was shorter and her life after the school to be longer. I cannot believe the things Elizabeth went through and no offence to her parents but my god- if I went through that type of mental abuse because I blew a guy and smoked some pot when I was fifteen I would NEVER forgive them. It’s sad how many parents don’t know how to deal with the teenage years and resort to just abandoning their trouble teen. I did find the chapters to become a bit repetitive. Overall a good read!
Here comes some spoilers
My dad used the threaten us when we were bad that he would drive us out to the woods, her parents basically did that, and she had to stay for over 100 days! I had to finish this book because I just kept thinking to myself that at one point the parents would come get her. Nope, 100 days in the woods and like two years in that horrible school. Poor thing. Good exposure to what goes on.
Here comes some spoilers
My dad used the threaten us when we were bad that he would drive us out to the woods, her parents basically did that, and she had to stay for over 100 days! I had to finish this book because I just kept thinking to myself that at one point the parents would come get her. Nope, 100 days in the woods and like two years in that horrible school. Poor thing. Good exposure to what goes on.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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