Heliophobia

by Christopher X. Ryan

Murray Sandman has issues: a debilitating stutter, shoes whose Velcro straps won’t stay shut, a basement full of nasty chemicals, and a career as a pricing gun repairman that’s fizzling out faster than a tired little meteor.

Oh yeah, and he’s afraid of the sun.

Fortunately for Murray, his hometown of North Gaslin is host to Heli-Non, a heliophobia support group. This motley crew includes a self-hating musician, a secretive entrepreneur, a bunch of working-class folks, and mysterious loners like Joe Purple, who hides beneath a different mask each session. But when Murray is robbed of a set of prototype pricing guns, he finds himself unable to turn to the friends he’s relied on for years. This time, Murray’s going to have to step into the light all by himself.

Once his quest is underway, he quickly realizes that he’s looking for more than just some plastic pricers—and that the huge ball of gas in the sky just might be the smallest problem he’s got.

307 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 8, 2022

Reviews

[David Massengill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christopher X. Ryan's engaging debut novel keeps us feeling for an extremely likable antihero who's got some struggs. Pricing gun repairman Murray has a relentless stutter, a terror of the sun, and a major crisis when someone steals his prototype pricing guns. As we follow Murray around North Gaslin (a kind of Everytown, America that seems so familiar and yet so different) in search of his missing equipment, we meet a robust cast of quirky and sometimes suspicious characters, including diverse members of Murray's heliophobia support group, his loyal bestie, and his less-than-loving family. Ryan's novel is always heartfelt and oftentimes hilarious. The author demonstrates a knack for making the ordinary fascinating, and he employs simple, clean, and fresh prose that always veers away from the cliche. Heliophobia has moments of brilliance, just like the best of sunny days.

[Richard Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Pricing gun repairman”. That phrase caught my attention and compelled me to buy and read Heliophobia. I absolutely could not pass on a book that featured a pricing gun repairman as it’s hero or anti-hero or whatever roll he/she played in the story. No matter…I was on it.

And for the most part I got what I hoped for - quirky and engaging characters and personalities, absurd circumstances, and a premise that intrigues and entertains. What I didn’t get was a sense that the story was moving forward with a purpose.

The synopsis led me to believe that Murray Sandman (our leading man) would reluctantly be forced to step outside his heliophobic comfort zone to facilitate the return of some stollen pricing guns. That happens (past the 1/3 point), to be sure, but the journey slowly devolves into less a mission than a meander culminating in a meh-ish discovery of what fate befell the guns.

What might have helped me enjoy this book more was a better-defined post-theft game plan, an embellished relationship between Murray and the early visitor to the Heli-Non meeting and giving the pricing gun company rep more screen time.

But what I did enjoy, I really enjoyed. The author’s sense of humor is on par with some of the best. I especially enjoyed the recurring clarification joke that seemed to show up early in each chapter, the descriptions of the squalid town of North Gaslin and its forlorn inhabitants, the entire sequence that began with a trip to a party and ended in a back yard cage match pitting good versus evil, and the tasty gumbo of characters that populated the Heli-Non group.

If you enjoy authors like Christopher Moore, Douglas Adams and, to a certain extent, Kurt Vonnegut, you’ll get a kick out of Heliophobe.

Bonus: If you’re looking for a catchy name for your band, you’ll find plenty of ideas in Heliophobe. Those that know, know.

[Pete Peru · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a story about isolation: here the isolation is not only interpersonal but also the forced isolation of heliphobia. The protagonist's struggles with those issues forms the bulk of what the tale narrates. I loved the way the author writes even more than I loved what he has to say. For me a totally deserved 5 star rating.

[Kathy Brown]

I don't do stars, but what a charming book for any reader interested in quirky, unique characters on a rough, redemptive journey. You haven't read anything like this before, I'm sure!

[MacKenzie Dietz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is effing hilarious. Inventive, smart, surprising (the twists!), and surreptitiously profound. I need it to be turned into a Netflix series so someone get on that please.

[Windsor Copywriting · Rating 1 out of 5]

Barely readable. It doesn't even resemble a finished book. I didn't even put this in a thrift shop for someone else to find. Cr*p. Unfinished. Don't give me anymore of your books.