Your life is 100 percent your own responsibility. Bad things might happen to you, but you control how you react to them. So face your fears and confront problems head-on. You can achieve your dreams as long as you’re willing to take small, persistent actions. Keep your motivation up by defining your personal goals and becoming clear about what success means to you.
Actionable advice:
Put your problems in perspective
Sometimes we can be so highly strung that even being stuck in a traffic jam can start to feel like the end of the world. But if you consider the obstacles and setbacks you’ve encountered in the course of your life, you’ll realize that being caught up in traffic is the least of your worries. Create a list of all the setbacks you’ve had, and rank them in order of how serious they were. Keep the list at hand to remind you how resilient you are, and put your other problems in perspective.
---
Big change comes in small steps.
Meet Harry. Harry was a college football player who used to be fit and healthy. But for the last 20 years, he’s spent most of his free time on the couch, surfing the internet and gorging on junk food. Harry usually wakes up feeling foggy and exhausted. He shows up at work and goes through the motions, but he can’t concentrate on anything.
One day, Harry catches a glimpse of himself and realizes something needs to change. He looks old and worn out, and bitter. So, he embarks on a radical life makeover.
He starts getting up at 5:00 a.m. and biking to work, and then going to the gym six nights a week. He gives up junk food. And he never goes to bed after 10:00 p.m. But, after a few months, Harry still can’t see any signs that all the work is paying off.
The key message here is: Big change comes in small steps.
Harry’s motivation starts to wane. He’s tired, and his body aches all over. He misses being able to relax with his wife or drink a beer with friends. Soon, his resolve crumbles and he’s back to his old ways as a couch potato. He feels even worse than before because his attempt to change was such a failure.
Starting out, Harry had lots of motivation and commitment. So, what went wrong? First of all, Harry had unrealistic expectations. He thought he could change his life and get results overnight. But he had 20 years to settle into his unhealthy habits. Changing them, and seeing results, will take more than a few months. Harry should have begun more gradually, starting with small, realistic actions that he could actually maintain – like going to the gym once a week. Then he could have added other gradual changes, like adapting his diet, or going to bed an hour earlier.
Harry was also missing a clear goal. He wanted to get healthy, sure. But being healthy is a broad concept that means different things to different people. It could mean you want to lose ten kilos, or be able to climb Mount Everest. Harry needed to be very clear about his “why,” and think about what specifically he wanted to achieve, and what that would contribute to his life.
The lesson here is that the clearer your goal is, the easier it is to maintain your commitment.
---
Stay the course to achieve your dreams.
Imagine for a minute a pilot flying a passenger plane from Miami to New York. She starts off perfectly, it’s all going well. But then, a minor error: almost imperceptibly, her steering drifts the plane off course by one degree. In the moment, the mistake is hardly noticed, and yet, the impact is huge. After a few hours, the plane has veered so far off its flight path that the passengers have to land not at JFK airport, but in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean!
When you’re pursuing your dreams for success, it’s easy to start off strong and then very subtly drift off course until you’ve lost your way entirely. After all, change is hard. And the pull of familiar comforts is strong. In order to stay on track, you’re going to need to cultivate persistence and adaptability.
The key message here is: Stay the course to achieve your dreams.
When you dream big, an inevitable gap opens between your ideal life and your current reality. It can be discouraging, especially when you can’t yet see any results for your efforts. To stay on course, you need to nurture an attitude of stubborn persistence: keep reminding yourself why your goal is important, and reward yourself for your efforts.
Make sure you surround yourself with the right people, or co-pilots. People who believe in you and your goal, who support you in seeing what’s possible, and who keep you accountable. Consider the story of one woman who was so determined to stop smoking she roped in her whole company to help. Her boss suggested she stick a big red cross on her door for every day she didn’t smoke. That simple practice became a daily reward, and a way to stay publicly accountable.
Another key quality of successful people is adaptability. Netflix started as a company that mailed people DVDs. Luckily, they were responsive to changes in the market, and were able to pioneer the streaming service that has made them a market leader today. But, imagine if they’d just stubbornly clung to their first idea!
You, too, will encounter change as you pursue your goals. When it comes, be receptive to new information and willing to update your approach. By being persistent but adaptable you’ll chart your own way to a new life – one that is in line with your goals and dreams.