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Remind Me to Hate You Later
A story about the pressures of social media, the lengths influencers will go to for fame, and the grief of losing a loved one to suicide, perfect for fans of Jandy Nelson and Gayle Forman.
Seventeen-year-old Jules grew up in her mother's spotlight. A “parenting influencer,” Britt shares details of her daughter's life-pictures, intimate stories, insecurities, all-to a point that becomes unbearable to Jules.
And suddenly she's gone.
Natalie has only barely begun to grieve her best friend Jules's death when Britt announces her plans to publish a memoir that will dissect Jules's life and death. But Nat knows the truth behind Britt's "perfect" Instagram feed-Jules hated the pressure, the inauthenticity, the persona. There's so much more to Jules than Britt and her followers could ever know. As Nat connects with Jules's boyfriend, Carter, and their shared grief and guilt bonds them, she becomes determined to expose Britt, to understand what really happened, and who is to blame.
In a world that feels distorted by celebrity and the manipulations of social media and public opinion, Natalie and Carter need something real to hold onto. Remind Me to Hate You Later is a moving account of grief, depression, complex relationships, love, and the search for truth.
Seventeen-year-old Jules grew up in her mother's spotlight. A “parenting influencer,” Britt shares details of her daughter's life-pictures, intimate stories, insecurities, all-to a point that becomes unbearable to Jules.
And suddenly she's gone.
Natalie has only barely begun to grieve her best friend Jules's death when Britt announces her plans to publish a memoir that will dissect Jules's life and death. But Nat knows the truth behind Britt's "perfect" Instagram feed-Jules hated the pressure, the inauthenticity, the persona. There's so much more to Jules than Britt and her followers could ever know. As Nat connects with Jules's boyfriend, Carter, and their shared grief and guilt bonds them, she becomes determined to expose Britt, to understand what really happened, and who is to blame.
In a world that feels distorted by celebrity and the manipulations of social media and public opinion, Natalie and Carter need something real to hold onto. Remind Me to Hate You Later is a moving account of grief, depression, complex relationships, love, and the search for truth.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published February 28, 2023
4 people are currently reading
4506 people want to read
About the author
Lizzy Mason
3 books229 followersLizzy Mason grew up in northern Virginia before moving to New York City for college and a career in publishing. Now back in Virginia with her two cats, when not reading or writing, Lizzy loves to travel. She has visited forty-five states and eleven countries so far. She is the author of The Art of Losing, Between the Bliss and Me, and Remind Me to Hate You Later. Find her online at LizzyMasonBooks.com and on Instagram at @LizzyMasonBooks.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 75 reviews
April 24, 2023
This is quite a difficult book and one that I wouldn't readily recommend to everyone. I knew the premise before diving into the story, but there were certain elements that made this a little more emotional than I expected. CW: suicidal ideation, death by suicide, discussion of self harm, depression, neglectful parent
Remind Me to Hate You Later is a YA realistic fiction book that explores the complicated relationships that exist between children and teens who have parents that are "family/mommy influencers." The story is told from the perspectives of Jules and Natalie who are best friends. When Jules reaches her limits with her mom's social media presence, she dies by suicide. Natalie is left not only grieving the loss of her best friend, but also with anger (borderline hatred) for Jules' mother. What follows is an exploration of grief, pain that comes with loss, the intricate relationships that people have with social media, forgiveness, friendship, and love.
What Worked: This was an extremely difficult read for me. I was not aware that readers spend the first part of the book experiencing events through Jules' perspective up until her death. For some reason, it made processing her suicide more difficult for me. As a parent and a social media influencer, I try so hard to make the best decisions regarding my daughter. While my presence on social media revolves around books and reviewing, I can't help but to reflect on how my presence may or may not impact her in the future. Mason does an excellent job exploring the complicated relationship that exists between influencers and those in their personal lives. More so, the individuals who are family and/or mommy social media influencers. I've heard people discuss the harmful affects of children who are showcased through these platforms, but reading the intricate details of how Jules' was treated by her mother was horrific. It creates a level of disregard that made it hard for me to forgive her especially when Jules constantly asked to no longer be featured on her mom's blog. The writing of this was absolutely amazing as well. It's clear that Mason attempts to capture realistic feelings of everyone involved and impacted by the loss of Jules. While it is a difficult book to read, it is clear that a great deal of care was taken in writing this story.
What Didn't Work for Me: Honestly, I struggled a lot with the characterization of Britt (Jules' mom). The story could have benefited from added chapters from her perspective. While we do get her side of narrative through Natalie, I still felt like we needed to hear her voice outside of the bias that would come from the perspective of another character. Britt is complex and it's easy to dislike her, but it's also easy to recognize that she lost her daughter. As a parent, I wanted to be inside her head more and really tap into her emotional experience.
Overall, this was a great read. Not an easy read and not one that I would recommend to everyone, but if you're up for an emotional, yet timely book, I would recommend picking this up.
Remind Me to Hate You Later is a YA realistic fiction book that explores the complicated relationships that exist between children and teens who have parents that are "family/mommy influencers." The story is told from the perspectives of Jules and Natalie who are best friends. When Jules reaches her limits with her mom's social media presence, she dies by suicide. Natalie is left not only grieving the loss of her best friend, but also with anger (borderline hatred) for Jules' mother. What follows is an exploration of grief, pain that comes with loss, the intricate relationships that people have with social media, forgiveness, friendship, and love.
What Worked: This was an extremely difficult read for me. I was not aware that readers spend the first part of the book experiencing events through Jules' perspective up until her death. For some reason, it made processing her suicide more difficult for me. As a parent and a social media influencer, I try so hard to make the best decisions regarding my daughter. While my presence on social media revolves around books and reviewing, I can't help but to reflect on how my presence may or may not impact her in the future. Mason does an excellent job exploring the complicated relationship that exists between influencers and those in their personal lives. More so, the individuals who are family and/or mommy social media influencers. I've heard people discuss the harmful affects of children who are showcased through these platforms, but reading the intricate details of how Jules' was treated by her mother was horrific. It creates a level of disregard that made it hard for me to forgive her especially when Jules constantly asked to no longer be featured on her mom's blog. The writing of this was absolutely amazing as well. It's clear that Mason attempts to capture realistic feelings of everyone involved and impacted by the loss of Jules. While it is a difficult book to read, it is clear that a great deal of care was taken in writing this story.
What Didn't Work for Me: Honestly, I struggled a lot with the characterization of Britt (Jules' mom). The story could have benefited from added chapters from her perspective. While we do get her side of narrative through Natalie, I still felt like we needed to hear her voice outside of the bias that would come from the perspective of another character. Britt is complex and it's easy to dislike her, but it's also easy to recognize that she lost her daughter. As a parent, I wanted to be inside her head more and really tap into her emotional experience.
Overall, this was a great read. Not an easy read and not one that I would recommend to everyone, but if you're up for an emotional, yet timely book, I would recommend picking this up.
March 22, 2023
✰ 4 stars ✰
"This moment is now a bookmark in my life. There is a before and an after. I’ll never get to go back to the before. But I don’t want to live in the after. Not without Jules."
There is an underlying bold but beautiful message in Remind Me to Hate You Later that I think will resonate deeply with both parents and children, alike. It also showed me that grief and guilt for the death of loved one, sometimes do go hand in hand. The grief that your life will continue to go on - and the guilt, of all the words that you wish you could take back - and all the words that you could not say in time. 💔💔
I really felt deeply for both girls - Jules, who, for so long had been under the suffocating thumb of her over-sharing blogger-mother that she could no longer handle the pressure, and Nat, the best friend, who after her suicide, carries the heavy burden in her heart and mind that maybe if she had said something earlier, if she had not acting out of anger, but in kindness and understanding, maybe she would still be here.
"It hasn’t been that long since Jules died—a little more than four months now. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. Sometimes it feels like it’s been a year. But it only takes a moment to remember how it felt to hear that she was gone. And I know that pain will linger forever."
I understood Nat's frustration and her need to have someone to blame for Jule's death. Her fixation on Jule's mother and her fame, her chance to profit from her daughter's death. Everything hurt deeply, but I liked that how she moved forward from it, how she came to terms with what happened in a healthy positive and believable manner was handled very well.
And while it is a painfully honest and raw look at not only the depression that can lead to suicide, but the feelings that wage after, the writing made you feel it. It's my first time reading something that deals with such heavy issues, but their visceral sadness - the hole in the heart that you have for moments you lost - that personal struggle of moving on - really resonated with me. With also the hopeful promise and belief that even if we are the friends, the loved ones, that are left behind, we have to find comfort in the memory of the living moments we did share.
“A friend told me once that grief is the cost of love,” she says. “It’s a pretty steep price, but it’s worth paying. Because the love doesn’t go away either.”
One conflicting point that I did have was with Jule's mother, Bridget. When Lizzy Mason gave some insight into the reasons that led her to become a blogger, it still didn't (in my opinion, anyway) condone her behavior with Jules in the present. 😔 Maybe I'm not a mother, so I couldn't quite empathize with her, but the things that she did to Jules, in the pretense that she thought she was actually helping her and then talking about it online, without a second thought that it could be damaging and hurtful, not to mention how much an embarrassment it would be for her, as well! My emotions waged a war in my head, because regardless of how blogging could be something that helped her emotionally, it still didn't justify or condone her actions towards Jules on so many levels.
Aside from that, I'm glad I decided to read it. It may not be a comforting read, but it's an important one. It's a hard look at how social media can be damaging and destructive to the people who are involved - unwittingly or intentionally - not everything has to be shared. Treasure the personal moments as your own and the ones you have them with. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
"This moment is now a bookmark in my life. There is a before and an after. I’ll never get to go back to the before. But I don’t want to live in the after. Not without Jules."
There is an underlying bold but beautiful message in Remind Me to Hate You Later that I think will resonate deeply with both parents and children, alike. It also showed me that grief and guilt for the death of loved one, sometimes do go hand in hand. The grief that your life will continue to go on - and the guilt, of all the words that you wish you could take back - and all the words that you could not say in time. 💔💔
I really felt deeply for both girls - Jules, who, for so long had been under the suffocating thumb of her over-sharing blogger-mother that she could no longer handle the pressure, and Nat, the best friend, who after her suicide, carries the heavy burden in her heart and mind that maybe if she had said something earlier, if she had not acting out of anger, but in kindness and understanding, maybe she would still be here.
"It hasn’t been that long since Jules died—a little more than four months now. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. Sometimes it feels like it’s been a year. But it only takes a moment to remember how it felt to hear that she was gone. And I know that pain will linger forever."
I understood Nat's frustration and her need to have someone to blame for Jule's death. Her fixation on Jule's mother and her fame, her chance to profit from her daughter's death. Everything hurt deeply, but I liked that how she moved forward from it, how she came to terms with what happened in a healthy positive and believable manner was handled very well.
And while it is a painfully honest and raw look at not only the depression that can lead to suicide, but the feelings that wage after, the writing made you feel it. It's my first time reading something that deals with such heavy issues, but their visceral sadness - the hole in the heart that you have for moments you lost - that personal struggle of moving on - really resonated with me. With also the hopeful promise and belief that even if we are the friends, the loved ones, that are left behind, we have to find comfort in the memory of the living moments we did share.
“A friend told me once that grief is the cost of love,” she says. “It’s a pretty steep price, but it’s worth paying. Because the love doesn’t go away either.”
One conflicting point that I did have was with Jule's mother, Bridget. When Lizzy Mason gave some insight into the reasons that led her to become a blogger, it still didn't (in my opinion, anyway) condone her behavior with Jules in the present. 😔 Maybe I'm not a mother, so I couldn't quite empathize with her, but the things that she did to Jules, in the pretense that she thought she was actually helping her and then talking about it online, without a second thought that it could be damaging and hurtful, not to mention how much an embarrassment it would be for her, as well! My emotions waged a war in my head, because regardless of how blogging could be something that helped her emotionally, it still didn't justify or condone her actions towards Jules on so many levels.
Aside from that, I'm glad I decided to read it. It may not be a comforting read, but it's an important one. It's a hard look at how social media can be damaging and destructive to the people who are involved - unwittingly or intentionally - not everything has to be shared. Treasure the personal moments as your own and the ones you have them with. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
March 5, 2023
this book is so important. i needed the cry it let me have.
March 7, 2023
Well, this was an incredibly heavy book. Based on the synopsis I knew that it was going to deal with a teenage girl, Jules, dying by suicide and how her best friend Natalie and her boyfriend Carter try to cope after the fact. But I wasn’t prepared for how much of the beginning of the book is told from Jules' perspective. I assumed that the whole book would be from Natalie’s POV, but getting to be in Jules’ head made everything way more visceral. Her depression, thoughts of self-harm, and thoughts of suicide are very present within the narrative.
The plot of Jules’ mom being a parenting/lifestyle influencer who posted about Jules online since before she was even born added a lot of interesting commentary to the book. Jules is so uncomfortable with strangers knowing so much about her, but her mom Britt just can’t stop sharing private details of their lives for her fans to read.
While it was hard to read, I thought it was great to see Natalie and Carter having really complicated feelings about her death. They’re sad, mad, guilty about having fun, and potentially moving on in certain ways. It felt very real.
This is a YA book full of complex emotions and a layered story about grief and the dark sides of mommy bloggers. I recommend it to readers who feel up to the subject matter. It’s a tough read that has a beautiful story about friendship and loss.
The plot of Jules’ mom being a parenting/lifestyle influencer who posted about Jules online since before she was even born added a lot of interesting commentary to the book. Jules is so uncomfortable with strangers knowing so much about her, but her mom Britt just can’t stop sharing private details of their lives for her fans to read.
While it was hard to read, I thought it was great to see Natalie and Carter having really complicated feelings about her death. They’re sad, mad, guilty about having fun, and potentially moving on in certain ways. It felt very real.
This is a YA book full of complex emotions and a layered story about grief and the dark sides of mommy bloggers. I recommend it to readers who feel up to the subject matter. It’s a tough read that has a beautiful story about friendship and loss.
April 29, 2023
I think it says a lot that I finished this book in one day. It gripped me and I couldn’t stop. It’s about grief but it’s also extremely uplifting and hopeful. The characters were messy and made mistakes and learned and grew which I loved. I know a lot of adults and teens alike would enjoy this examination of fame, validation, depression, grief, and friendship.
July 2, 2023
I read this within a day and have never cried so much over a book.
March 2, 2023
This review was originally posted on Andi's ABCs
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
I have known Lizzy Mason for almost as long as I have been blogging so I have been super excited to follow along on her author journey. Since her debut in 2019 I have eagerly awaited every book and Remind Me to Hate You Later was no different. I know this book was pushed back from the original release date but after having read it I also know that it was worth the wait. It was by far the best book Lizzy Mason has ever written.
Remind Me to Hate You Later is the story of Jules, the daughter of a parenting influencer, and Natalie, her best friend. Jules has grown up in the social media spotlight her whole life thanks to her mother. Literally nothing has happened in Jules’ life without the internet knowing. Eventually Jules reaches her breaking point and can no longer do it anymore. Left alone without Jules Natalie has to try and grieve the loss of her best friend. And then Britt, Jules’ mother, announces that she is going to write a book about the life and death of her daughter. As Nat leans on Jules’ boyfriend Carter she decides she will not let Jules die in vein. She is going expose Britt and make sure the world knows exactly how Jules felt and how social media can destroy someone’s life.
When I say that Remind Me to Hate You Later is Lizzy’s best book, I don’t say that lightly. I have loved everything she has written but there was something about this one that felt extra special. It’s a story about grief and mental health and self harm. It was an emotional journey for Jules and Natalie and Britt and Lizzy handled it all with respect and grace. My heart hurt reading this book but it was also healing too. Grief is not an easy emotion to explain or to understand and all of these characters were grieving in fact grieving. In some cases it was for the loss of life and in another it was for the life they next got to have.
The description of Remind Me to Hate You Later says it “is a moving account of grief, depression, complex relationships, love, and the search for truth” and that description is spot on. That statement nailed everything that is in the book and how you will feel reading it. This is an emotional story but it is one that you don’t want to miss as Lizzy wrote her heart out with this one. Go and buy a copy today!
I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.
I have known Lizzy Mason for almost as long as I have been blogging so I have been super excited to follow along on her author journey. Since her debut in 2019 I have eagerly awaited every book and Remind Me to Hate You Later was no different. I know this book was pushed back from the original release date but after having read it I also know that it was worth the wait. It was by far the best book Lizzy Mason has ever written.
Remind Me to Hate You Later is the story of Jules, the daughter of a parenting influencer, and Natalie, her best friend. Jules has grown up in the social media spotlight her whole life thanks to her mother. Literally nothing has happened in Jules’ life without the internet knowing. Eventually Jules reaches her breaking point and can no longer do it anymore. Left alone without Jules Natalie has to try and grieve the loss of her best friend. And then Britt, Jules’ mother, announces that she is going to write a book about the life and death of her daughter. As Nat leans on Jules’ boyfriend Carter she decides she will not let Jules die in vein. She is going expose Britt and make sure the world knows exactly how Jules felt and how social media can destroy someone’s life.
When I say that Remind Me to Hate You Later is Lizzy’s best book, I don’t say that lightly. I have loved everything she has written but there was something about this one that felt extra special. It’s a story about grief and mental health and self harm. It was an emotional journey for Jules and Natalie and Britt and Lizzy handled it all with respect and grace. My heart hurt reading this book but it was also healing too. Grief is not an easy emotion to explain or to understand and all of these characters were grieving in fact grieving. In some cases it was for the loss of life and in another it was for the life they next got to have.
The description of Remind Me to Hate You Later says it “is a moving account of grief, depression, complex relationships, love, and the search for truth” and that description is spot on. That statement nailed everything that is in the book and how you will feel reading it. This is an emotional story but it is one that you don’t want to miss as Lizzy wrote her heart out with this one. Go and buy a copy today!
April 26, 2023
This book brought forth a sad trend that is happening. That being the trend of overzealous social media families that constantly props up a new account each day. This book was dark but realistic. I cannot wait to tune into more work this author brings.
February 10, 2025
This book was really good. It made me a sobbing mess for at least 1/4 of the book, it is very clear that the author experienced grief herself, I even cried when I read the acknowledgements. This book obviously came straight out of her heart and honestly it quickly became one of my favorite YA contemporary books.
There were just 2 things that I wasn't a fan of but it's a bit nitpicky (and spoilerheavy) and didn't lessen my enjoyment of the book, but I do want to talk about it.
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS:
The first one is that both therapists suck. Luckily they are not given too much screen time, but telling a depressed teenager "only two more years of suffering and then you can leave home" has to be one of the worst things you can say. I don't mind reading about therapists that suck, honestly a lot of therapists aren't great. However when no one challenges this, not even the MC in her own thoughts... Then that's not okay.
And then we have Britt... Oh boy. While I do like that her character arc forces Nat to stop looking at everything so black and white, I don't believe it. Britt is very clearly written as someone with a lot of narcissistic traits, at least in the first half of the book. To make her do a 180 and blaming herself is just not realistic. This portrayal is possibly harmful because a lot of people with narcissistic parents really hope one day they will open their eyes and take accountability. But most of them are not able to do so.
Nat could still grow and learn to forgive even if Britt wouldn't have deserved this. I think that would even be more impactful honesty.
I still loved this book and this did not dampen my enjoyment of it. But both of these things can be harmful if the audience this book is catered to (YA) internalizes it so I did want to talk about it.
There were just 2 things that I wasn't a fan of but it's a bit nitpicky (and spoilerheavy) and didn't lessen my enjoyment of the book, but I do want to talk about it.
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS:
The first one is that both therapists suck. Luckily they are not given too much screen time, but telling a depressed teenager "only two more years of suffering and then you can leave home" has to be one of the worst things you can say. I don't mind reading about therapists that suck, honestly a lot of therapists aren't great. However when no one challenges this, not even the MC in her own thoughts... Then that's not okay.
And then we have Britt... Oh boy. While I do like that her character arc forces Nat to stop looking at everything so black and white, I don't believe it. Britt is very clearly written as someone with a lot of narcissistic traits, at least in the first half of the book. To make her do a 180 and blaming herself is just not realistic. This portrayal is possibly harmful because a lot of people with narcissistic parents really hope one day they will open their eyes and take accountability. But most of them are not able to do so.
Nat could still grow and learn to forgive even if Britt wouldn't have deserved this. I think that would even be more impactful honesty.
I still loved this book and this did not dampen my enjoyment of it. But both of these things can be harmful if the audience this book is catered to (YA) internalizes it so I did want to talk about it.
July 19, 2022
Beautifully written. I was crying and laughing. So much crying, but in a good way. This book is so important right now, and I don't have the right words to express how Nat and Jules' story affected me. Also, if you know Lizzy Mason, you will see bits and pieces of her scattered throughout this story. In the words of Natalie, from one point of the book: Wow.
November 22, 2022
It's a hard book to read, and the trigger warnings should be considered carefully. It's also excellent.
February 12, 2024
Read the book. I wasn't sure about this book. I enjoy a sad story, one that reminds me I'm not alone in this world where rainbows, puppies, and eternal love don't exist for everyone. The disclaimer at the beginning seemed serious, but I moved forward with the book anyway. It turned out okay.
I got kind of irritated during the first part of the book, because I could relate to Jules a little too much. I'd rather stay home, watch tv, and eat good food with a friend. But, that's also why my life feels so boring sometimes.
I cried really hard when Nat got the call from Jules' dad. I cried even more at the end when Britt recounted how he had to be the one to make those calls. (I'm crying a little now.) So, you might want to be careful where you choose to read this book...somewhere crying for no apparent reason is allowable.
I thought it really sweet when Nat and Carter came back together at the end. I'm really glad that worked out the way it did. And, sharing their truth with each other felt like their burdens were immediately lightened! Guilt is such a thief!
I always read the acknowledgements at the end of the books I read, and Lizzy shared so much of her own story along with this one. I almost wish I had known her story at the beginning of the book, so I could see her shared tears along the path.
While this was a story of tragedy and loss, it was also a beautiful story of life, friendship, and love. I think you will find it encouraging if you read the whole story.
P.S. there are two same sex relationships in the story, but they are only lightly mentioned. I would have rather they not been in the story at all.
I got kind of irritated during the first part of the book, because I could relate to Jules a little too much. I'd rather stay home, watch tv, and eat good food with a friend. But, that's also why my life feels so boring sometimes.
I cried really hard when Nat got the call from Jules' dad. I cried even more at the end when Britt recounted how he had to be the one to make those calls. (I'm crying a little now.) So, you might want to be careful where you choose to read this book...somewhere crying for no apparent reason is allowable.
I thought it really sweet when Nat and Carter came back together at the end. I'm really glad that worked out the way it did. And, sharing their truth with each other felt like their burdens were immediately lightened! Guilt is such a thief!
I always read the acknowledgements at the end of the books I read, and Lizzy shared so much of her own story along with this one. I almost wish I had known her story at the beginning of the book, so I could see her shared tears along the path.
While this was a story of tragedy and loss, it was also a beautiful story of life, friendship, and love. I think you will find it encouraging if you read the whole story.
P.S. there are two same sex relationships in the story, but they are only lightly mentioned. I would have rather they not been in the story at all.
November 20, 2022
First off, please heed the content warnings and take care of yourself above all else. This may not be for you and that's okay.
Jules' mom has blogged about her since before she was born. So she knows better than anyone that's what you see online frequently bares little resemblance to real life. But when she's gone, it's up to her best friend Nat, along with Jules' boyfriend Carter, to pick up the pieces after she's gone. Mason's Remind Me to Hate You Later gives a heartbreakingly honest look at the lengths some people will go chasing fame and likes.
No lie, I almost DNFed this one before Jules died. It was ROUGH and extremely hard to read. But I ended up continuing and while this book was good, it was far from enjoyable. I'm not sure I'd really recommend this one, though it was well crafted.
Jules' mom has blogged about her since before she was born. So she knows better than anyone that's what you see online frequently bares little resemblance to real life. But when she's gone, it's up to her best friend Nat, along with Jules' boyfriend Carter, to pick up the pieces after she's gone. Mason's Remind Me to Hate You Later gives a heartbreakingly honest look at the lengths some people will go chasing fame and likes.
No lie, I almost DNFed this one before Jules died. It was ROUGH and extremely hard to read. But I ended up continuing and while this book was good, it was far from enjoyable. I'm not sure I'd really recommend this one, though it was well crafted.
July 23, 2025
Before I start my review, it is vitally important that anyone considering reading this book check the listed content warnings. Remind Me to Hate You Later is a highly emotional read that explores topics that could be triggering if you or someone close to you has experienced depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation, emotional abuse, or the loss of a loved one. Please read with care. It is okay if this isn’t the book for you.
This was an emotional rollercoaster. I knew what I was getting into based on the description, but I didn’t expect it to be as intense as it was. My heart broke over and over again for the main characters. They were both fully developed. Jules’ and Natalie’s friendship felt so real because of the little details Mason wove through the text. The writing style was emotional without ever feeling melodramatic. After reading the author’s note, I’d like to say how proud I am of the author for portraying grief so authentically and for being vulnerable.
This book covers a lot of ground, but the aspect that intrigued me the most was the critique of “mommy blogging” and toxic influencer culture. I’ve always felt uncomfortable when parents overshare and post embarrassing photos of their young children on social media, and now I know why. It was refreshing to see a book tackle the damaging and downright despicable aspects of social media.
This was an emotional rollercoaster. I knew what I was getting into based on the description, but I didn’t expect it to be as intense as it was. My heart broke over and over again for the main characters. They were both fully developed. Jules’ and Natalie’s friendship felt so real because of the little details Mason wove through the text. The writing style was emotional without ever feeling melodramatic. After reading the author’s note, I’d like to say how proud I am of the author for portraying grief so authentically and for being vulnerable.
This book covers a lot of ground, but the aspect that intrigued me the most was the critique of “mommy blogging” and toxic influencer culture. I’ve always felt uncomfortable when parents overshare and post embarrassing photos of their young children on social media, and now I know why. It was refreshing to see a book tackle the damaging and downright despicable aspects of social media.
June 15, 2023
First off I want to say this was a very heavy book. While it was barely over 300 pages it had so much pain and ache written into its pages. The first half of the book is from a girl named Jules’s perspective. Jules is a girl who is constantly exploited and shamed by her mother and what she writes on a blog about Jules. Because Britt (Jules’s mom) is so fame hungry she constantly pushes Jules into a spotlight she doesn’t want. She pressures her and makes her feel like shes never enough. All of the belittling and hate drive Jules to take her own life halfway through the book. The second portion of the book is from Jules’s best friends point of view. Nat is distraught without her best friend and struggles with the grief and loneliness of losing her one friend. She also has anger built up towards Britt and has to decide wether or not to confront her about Jules. Nat has to then navigate life with making new friends and new memories without her best friend. She may even have trouble with feelings for Jules’s boyfriend that she left behind after her death. I really enjoyed how the author did talk about religion throughout the book but Nat was constantly on the side of not knowing what happened after death and said she didn’t know wether she believed in a heaven or hell. It just made the book more relatable and still relevant to its main theme of mental illness and suicide. I think this book has really good insight of not only being in the mind of someone who is suicidal but also the aftermath of someone taking their life. And how even though I only had around 100 pages with Jules’s character till she died the authors writing made it feel like I still knew her so well. I knocked a star off just because at some points it felt like the plot wasn’t moving. While that probably doesn’t deserve a whole star knocked off this book just didn’t click as a five star for me. Overall really good but not for the faint hearted or people who don’t like to cry.
”I know there's never going to be anything that makes Jules's death feel okay. No religion, no relationship, no amount of mediums or meditation will help. Not even pastries, as Jules would have said. It will always hurt. But sometimes, it hurts less. And sometimes, it even feels bearable. For now, that's the best I can hope for.” (My favorite quote from the book that hit me right in the heart and made me cry more)
”I know there's never going to be anything that makes Jules's death feel okay. No religion, no relationship, no amount of mediums or meditation will help. Not even pastries, as Jules would have said. It will always hurt. But sometimes, it hurts less. And sometimes, it even feels bearable. For now, that's the best I can hope for.” (My favorite quote from the book that hit me right in the heart and made me cry more)
August 4, 2023
2.5 stars rounded up, because I'm not the target audience, nor do I gravitate toward YA novels. I was really interested in this book, because I expected it to be an uncomfortable discussion about parent influencers using their children as part of their business. That was the first (short) part of the novel. The second part is a story about dealing with the grief of losing a friend to suicide as a teenager. And that part was too ... nice. People were too good to each other, forgave each other really quickly, it wasn't nearly as messy as reality truly is. I'm also not a fan of the decision to include psychics in the book--especially a book about grieving; too many psychics have been proven to be charlatans who have exploited a family's grief and too many of their claims disintegrate upon a closer look. I don't know if I'd like to turn a grieving teenager toward a potential fraud. Toward the end the novel describes typical high school life which unfortunately doesn't interest me (and also, I didn't grow up in America, so there is a cultural and age barrier for me; don't let that stop you from enjoying it though). And I'm going to have a hot take here: I think we're letting people who abuse (by accident or on purpose) or bully someone off the hook too easily when it comes to suicide. There's so much talk about people having depression/other mental health issues as the leading cause of suicide, but if you look closely, are we sure that's the case for everyone? We know that almost every trait is a combination of nature (genes) and nurture (environment). But somehow, when it comes to suicide, we blame it all on brain chemistry, and expect it to be unmovable? We really don't think that outside influences can gravely skew that brain chemistry into a dangerous area? I'm sorry, but I think that abusers/bullies need to be held more accountable when someone takes their own life. Even if future research will reveal that suicide and depression are 99% linked to genes and not bullying, the bully/abuser still deserves a lot a lot a lot more heat--for lowering the quality of life of a person already struggling. What I wanted was more accountability from Jules' mother, not the neatly tied bow at the end.
April 26, 2023
Social media has now been around for long enough that some children have literally grown up on it. This is almost universally agreed to be a bad thing, and yet some mothers (and fathers, let's be fair, although in this instance it's a mother) are still doing it. In this two part book, we see a possible outcome from this kind of forced oversharing. The first section is mostly Jules' point of view, and we can see just how callous her mother is (mostly unintentionally, not that that helps) and the things she has no trouble sharing. Nat takes over for the end of the first section and all of the second half, and here the focus moves mostly away from the dangers of online sharing and into the most beautiful, honest representation of grieving I've read in a long time.
I had trouble getting through this without welling up - and since I was reading on my lunch at work, that posed a problem! (I think I covered well by coughing a lot.) This is absolutely heartbreaking in points, but just as much time is given to the healing process, with people coping in different ways and several people who are further along the healing process explaining to Nat that while the grief never goes away, it does get gentler and easier to deal with.
This is a book that celebrates life just as much as it mourns death - there are joyful, fun sections that I really enjoyed reading. It all feels very true to teen life. And notably, it doesn't completely condemn social media - Jules' mother went too far, no one argues that, but social media in itself is not demonised, which is nice. Social media is a tool, after all, and the problems come with the way it's used.
This is a really important read; even without the reasons for Jules' depression, it still has important things to say about depression, grief, friendship and love. I'm really glad I got to read it and I think it's going to be really successful.
I had trouble getting through this without welling up - and since I was reading on my lunch at work, that posed a problem! (I think I covered well by coughing a lot.) This is absolutely heartbreaking in points, but just as much time is given to the healing process, with people coping in different ways and several people who are further along the healing process explaining to Nat that while the grief never goes away, it does get gentler and easier to deal with.
This is a book that celebrates life just as much as it mourns death - there are joyful, fun sections that I really enjoyed reading. It all feels very true to teen life. And notably, it doesn't completely condemn social media - Jules' mother went too far, no one argues that, but social media in itself is not demonised, which is nice. Social media is a tool, after all, and the problems come with the way it's used.
This is a really important read; even without the reasons for Jules' depression, it still has important things to say about depression, grief, friendship and love. I'm really glad I got to read it and I think it's going to be really successful.
March 26, 2023
Remind Me To Hate You Later was such a heavy heavy read. I physically felt the effects this book had on me. But I believe this book is so important. It deals with issues such as Suicide, self harm, emotional abuse, Death of a parent, depression and body shaming. I cried throughout reading this. Lizzy Mason did a phenomenal job making the readers feel the emotions that Jules family and friends feel after she is gone. It's gut wrenching, and I felt it down to my bones. But, it is dealing with real life situations. We see parents putting their children on the internet daily, and this book shows how toxic that can be for a teenager who is so angry with her mother for putting her personal problems for the world to read. I can't imagine having my mother not only body shame me, and exploit me for millions of people to rip me apart, but to put my most private thoughts and moments online. Jules mom Britt, is an extremely unlikable character.. As much as I love this book, I felt we could have got more of Britt. We get her being a terrible mother, but something felt missing. It was not so much far fetched, but I felt there could have been MORE to the relationship and dealing with the "after". Maybe I just feel Britt doesn't get to suffer enough. She plays a huge part in this book but its not really about her. Maybe that's the point? Be prepared to be ripped apart reading this. Make sure your are in the right head space to even pick this book up. This is a sad sad, beautiful story.
January 19, 2024
I read this book to screen for a younger reader in the target market who just lost a friend of a friend to suicide. Initially I struggled with this book since I was concerned the character felt guilty over reporting her friend's suicidal ideation, but upon finishing the book I can say this was written with a lot of concern and care to make sure the friends of people to have committed suicide should not feel like it's their fault. It quickly went from a book I wasn't sure I was going to finish to one I read in one night.
The story begins with Jules dealing with her toxic mom. When I saw the description I expected the mom may not realize that her daughter is being affected that much by her postings, but it's clear this mom is exploiting her daughter and has her own mental illness. Jules makes her view known multiple times and her mom ignores her feelings and plays the victim.
The book then follows Nat, Jules's friend who survived and has a lot to unpack. Each new plot line dealt with a different consequence and respectfully explored all the complex feelings that came with the incidents.
There was a lot of sadness and a lot of cringe, but the type that was expected in a story like this. Know that this book does not shy away from difficult topics and everyone may not be able to handle it, but for anyone looking for a good YA on this topic that isn't too sensationalized I'd check this out. If you're on the fence about it for someone else I would screen it first.
The story begins with Jules dealing with her toxic mom. When I saw the description I expected the mom may not realize that her daughter is being affected that much by her postings, but it's clear this mom is exploiting her daughter and has her own mental illness. Jules makes her view known multiple times and her mom ignores her feelings and plays the victim.
The book then follows Nat, Jules's friend who survived and has a lot to unpack. Each new plot line dealt with a different consequence and respectfully explored all the complex feelings that came with the incidents.
There was a lot of sadness and a lot of cringe, but the type that was expected in a story like this. Know that this book does not shy away from difficult topics and everyone may not be able to handle it, but for anyone looking for a good YA on this topic that isn't too sensationalized I'd check this out. If you're on the fence about it for someone else I would screen it first.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 27, 2022
After hearing Lizzy Mason describe her book in a speed book dating round at the ALAN conference in Anaheim, CA, I chose her book to read on my flight back to Oklahoma. I couldn’t put it down. As a an online publisher, I’ve participated in online communities and witnessed those same communities implode. That said the online moms I collaborated with all agreed that we shouldn’t post pictures of our children in public places and we should honor their right to privacy.
But what if we hadn’t? And what about those kids whose parents splash their images across Instagram, hoping to use their child to build a fortune? And then, what happens when that child grows up and realizes what’s happening?
This book is a peek behind the curtain into the lives of not only a child impacted by her mother’s choice to create a fake life for the cameras and what happens when the internet turns and reality gets ugly. Not only do we get to walk in the shoes of Jules, the daughter of a mom blogger, but we also walk the path of her friends after she’s gone to see the impact of one mom blogger’s choices on not only her own life and family, including her motivation to walk down that path, but what happens to the community afterwards.
An excellent read that made me cry and made me thankful I chose to respect my children’s wishes for privacy, even before they were old enough to express them.
But what if we hadn’t? And what about those kids whose parents splash their images across Instagram, hoping to use their child to build a fortune? And then, what happens when that child grows up and realizes what’s happening?
This book is a peek behind the curtain into the lives of not only a child impacted by her mother’s choice to create a fake life for the cameras and what happens when the internet turns and reality gets ugly. Not only do we get to walk in the shoes of Jules, the daughter of a mom blogger, but we also walk the path of her friends after she’s gone to see the impact of one mom blogger’s choices on not only her own life and family, including her motivation to walk down that path, but what happens to the community afterwards.
An excellent read that made me cry and made me thankful I chose to respect my children’s wishes for privacy, even before they were old enough to express them.
December 7, 2023
I'm kind of a fan of how 2/3 of the book was written without the main character in the picture.
The approach to the story, a heavier book that deals with social media, influencing, fame then mixed with interpersonal relationship issues, suicidal ideation, body shaming, sex, and death all combined in a powerful mix that balanced emotion and logic. Mason didn't shy away from topics and I love sharing books with other librarians that highlight authentic situations that are raw in ways that life is raw rather than lyrically dancing around them. I disliked Jules for most of the book. But I understood her. I was invested in how her ex-boyfriend and best friend were dealing with the aftermath. I wanted to know what Jules' mother would do (exactly what I thought she would do!) and then Mason adds tender moments like Hannah and Natalie in the bathroom before prom.
Can't wait to push this book to teens. I see it as a unique companion to Stuck in Neutral and for fans of Kathleen Glasgow.
The approach to the story, a heavier book that deals with social media, influencing, fame then mixed with interpersonal relationship issues, suicidal ideation, body shaming, sex, and death all combined in a powerful mix that balanced emotion and logic. Mason didn't shy away from topics and I love sharing books with other librarians that highlight authentic situations that are raw in ways that life is raw rather than lyrically dancing around them. I disliked Jules for most of the book. But I understood her. I was invested in how her ex-boyfriend and best friend were dealing with the aftermath. I wanted to know what Jules' mother would do (exactly what I thought she would do!) and then Mason adds tender moments like Hannah and Natalie in the bathroom before prom.
Can't wait to push this book to teens. I see it as a unique companion to Stuck in Neutral and for fans of Kathleen Glasgow.
February 10, 2024
Hard-to-deal-with content packed in a YA book with a fast pace. The content is presented in an accessible way - doesn't dwell too long in the negative and the characters are just regular kids in high school. It also poses the interesting question of how much information is too much when sharing about your family on social media.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I did want more of Jules' turmoil. I know she was dealing with this overexposure for her whole life, but I guess I just needed to read more, understand more, feel more to really connect with Jules. But perhaps that wasn't the point. Sometimes people just leave and it's not about us.
I did like reading from Natalie's perspective though because I thought it was a good representation of the jumble of emotions that may come with dealing with a friend's suicide - grief, guilt, remorse, a daily struggle to keep her memory alive. I also liked Nat because she was always up front about Britt being a terrible mom.
So although this was a book with thought-provoking things, I can't ignore that the pacing threw me off. I understand it's a YA book and needs to appeal to the audience it's written for, but it seemed overly rushed so it lost some of the impact of could have had on me.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I did want more of Jules' turmoil. I know she was dealing with this overexposure for her whole life, but I guess I just needed to read more, understand more, feel more to really connect with Jules. But perhaps that wasn't the point. Sometimes people just leave and it's not about us.
I did like reading from Natalie's perspective though because I thought it was a good representation of the jumble of emotions that may come with dealing with a friend's suicide - grief, guilt, remorse, a daily struggle to keep her memory alive. I also liked Nat because she was always up front about Britt being a terrible mom.
So although this was a book with thought-provoking things, I can't ignore that the pacing threw me off. I understand it's a YA book and needs to appeal to the audience it's written for, but it seemed overly rushed so it lost some of the impact of could have had on me.
January 3, 2023
This book is definitely worth the read for anyone who has struggled with grief. I would look at the trigger warnings for this book as I could see with someone who has struggled with self harm and suicidal ideations this could be a very hard book for them. As for someone who use to struggle with those things this book made me feel heard and like the thoughts I’ve always had in my head are finally on paper and I could show someone saying “this is how I felt”. The way this turns from focusing on Jules to then Natalie is amazing on my mind. It shows just how much suicidal thoughts and actions can and will hurt the people that you leave. I think it does a beautiful job of the struggle of learning to move on and also dealing the anger and feelings that you get left with. Very happy that we don’t get shown or told how Jules took her life as that can be a lot and then book isn’t about the girl who killed herself per say. It shows the thoughts and feelings leading up to that and then the after math. I also love the author letter at the beginning of this book. This is a book that will make you cry and I’m so happy that Bloomsbury sent me an ARC.
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June 7, 2023I have... deeply mixed feelings about this book. The emotion is visceral and affecting as Nat, Carter, and those around them grieve. But its reckoning with what it openly acknowledges to be emotional abuse falls incredibly flat. The way it dealt with Britt really pissed me off. Ultimately the book took a very Disney approach to her: she was young and lost and got swept up in the fame and... fuck that. Britt is a fifty-year-old woman who demeaned, shamed, and humiliated her daughter, who never had anything to say to Jules that wasn't about her looks or "unacceptable" body type, and who ultimately posted about her own teenage daughter's sex life, leading to Jules getting doxxed and harassed. And the book forgives her. Because Jules had choices, too. Really? A mentally ill, abused teenager had choices but an abusive parent is a victim of her own insecurities?
The writing is solid if the beats are sometimes cliched, the characters feel real, and the story mostly moves along at a good pace... but the way it managed Britt made me so furious I don't think I even CAN give a star rating on this one.
The writing is solid if the beats are sometimes cliched, the characters feel real, and the story mostly moves along at a good pace... but the way it managed Britt made me so furious I don't think I even CAN give a star rating on this one.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 2, 2025
I don't know what inspired me to check this book out of the library but it sure wasn't the blurb, because I had NO idea about the big twist!
Or rather, the event that's actually not a twist at all because it's right there in the blurb...
And because I hadn't read the blurb, I was also riding the conspiracy bus for a while and thinking that maybe Jules' mom had murdered her. I still think that would have been a stunning plot twist that was actually a plot twist! But there is no murder, only sadness.
I'm very torn about the concept of the book being a sort of healing redemption for her, all that radical honesty and showing her fans who she actually is and who Jules actually was, only because Jules VERY clearly did not want to be written about, neither goodly nor badly. I also don't love the idea of the podcast. I'm very much of the mindset that you don't get to dictate what happens after you die, and I think it genuinely is lovely for more people to get to know the real Jules, but still. She'd have hated every word, true and redemptive or not.
Or rather, the event that's actually not a twist at all because it's right there in the blurb...
And because I hadn't read the blurb, I was also riding the conspiracy bus for a while and thinking that maybe Jules' mom had murdered her. I still think that would have been a stunning plot twist that was actually a plot twist! But there is no murder, only sadness.
I'm very torn about the concept of the book being a sort of healing redemption for her, all that radical honesty and showing her fans who she actually is and who Jules actually was, only because Jules VERY clearly did not want to be written about, neither goodly nor badly. I also don't love the idea of the podcast. I'm very much of the mindset that you don't get to dictate what happens after you die, and I think it genuinely is lovely for more people to get to know the real Jules, but still. She'd have hated every word, true and redemptive or not.
January 22, 2024
Interesting perspective of a child that was subject to their mom’s “influencer” job.
There are so many children that have been exploited by their parents in social media/ reality tv. Now many are growing up and becoming their own person with thoughts and feelings.
When does it end? It should be obvious that at the very minimum that if the child you are sharing private details and posting pictures about doesn’t want to be included then you should respect their privacy. Especially if how you make a living if by forcing your child into a public lifestyle they never asked for or agreed to.
The mom in the book is horrible. She has no relationship with her daughter because of her own repeated actions. The mother does not care that she is contributing to her daughter’s depression, self harm, disordered eating and humiliation when exposing her private business. Selfish and exploitative. She even reads her daughter’s private diary to find out her personal thoughts that she isn’t comfortable or safe in sharing with her mom.
Her daughter would have gone no contact so fast her mom’s head would spin if not for thinking suicide was the only way to make her pain stop. And the mom still blogs about her never understanding what went wrong even writing a book after she dies..
Related to influencers/ children growing up on camera is that the teen mom show is still on the air. The moms who were pregnant at 16 now have children that are teenagers.. The episodes reveal the children experiencing all sorts of personal, emotional or embarrassing situations. Anything for a storyline. I honestly wonder if the MTV producers are hoping for a second generation teen parent 😔
There are so many children that have been exploited by their parents in social media/ reality tv. Now many are growing up and becoming their own person with thoughts and feelings.
When does it end? It should be obvious that at the very minimum that if the child you are sharing private details and posting pictures about doesn’t want to be included then you should respect their privacy. Especially if how you make a living if by forcing your child into a public lifestyle they never asked for or agreed to.
The mom in the book is horrible. She has no relationship with her daughter because of her own repeated actions. The mother does not care that she is contributing to her daughter’s depression, self harm, disordered eating and humiliation when exposing her private business. Selfish and exploitative. She even reads her daughter’s private diary to find out her personal thoughts that she isn’t comfortable or safe in sharing with her mom.
Her daughter would have gone no contact so fast her mom’s head would spin if not for thinking suicide was the only way to make her pain stop. And the mom still blogs about her never understanding what went wrong even writing a book after she dies..
Related to influencers/ children growing up on camera is that the teen mom show is still on the air. The moms who were pregnant at 16 now have children that are teenagers.. The episodes reveal the children experiencing all sorts of personal, emotional or embarrassing situations. Anything for a storyline. I honestly wonder if the MTV producers are hoping for a second generation teen parent 😔
May 3, 2023
My reaction to Lizzy Mason's The Art of Losing was pretty mixed, and I thought it was unbalanced and a little too romance-heavy to satisfactorily deliver on its premise. None of that applies to Remind Me to Hate You Later, which is laser-focused on its subject matter and delivers a story that is by turns brutal, devastating, and thoughtful. Bonus points for keeping the romantic elements appropriately downplayed and actually pulling off a relationship that I would generally find a very hard sell.
June 30, 2023
This was a really powerful read dealing with teen suicide and the aftermath of it. Jules grew up as the subject of a "mommy blog" with her entire life chronicled on the internet. I think there's a huge reckoning coming around the way children's' lives have been documented online without their consent and this book definitely does that. I also liked that the book started with Jules's perspective, showing her interpretation of her mother before switching to Nat's to chronicle the aftermath of Jules's death.
I do wish the cover was better. It feels really dated to me and I'm not sure teens will want to pick it up because of that.
I do wish the cover was better. It feels really dated to me and I'm not sure teens will want to pick it up because of that.
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